Tom Junod

You really don't know what's on the other side of them.

Well, they enlist you in them.

And I was enlisted in that particular secret.

I sort of got bonded to my dad through the secrets that sort of upset me most.

When I was 20, you know, I went out on a date with my dad and a buyer with whom he was very clearly having an affair with.

What was that like?

It was at once of concern because it was another thing I had to keep from my mom.

And also, I'll just say it, it was like one of the most glamorous nights of my life.

We went out to see Woody Allen at Michael's Pub.

We walked my father's date and her sister-in-law, who was sort of like my date, you know, back to the plaza.

And it was my first night in New York City, and I was sort of... I was as swept away as the two women were.

So my dad presented himself as a paragon of masculinity.

But masculinity to my dad didn't just mean being able to handle yourself with your fists.

It didn't just mean...

looking sharp.

It didn't just mean having a firm handshake.

You know, it meant having sex.

That is the thing, I think, that distinguished the way I grew up from a lot of other people who had sort of macho dads.

I had a macho dad who was forever on the make.

And that was the difference.