Topher Payne

It was desperately sad.

Meet Topher Payne.

I am a playwright and teacher in Atlanta.

I'll absolutely take that.

Once there was a tree, and the tree loved the boy.

And every day the little boy would come and play in the tree's branches, and they had a marvelous friendship.

And the tree gives her branches, which do grow back, but they grow back so much slower.

But she gives them up because she loves the boy.

And then he wants to build a boat and so on and so on until the tree is nothing but a sad little stump and there is nothing left of her.

And the boy comes back as an old man and she has nothing left to give and he sits on her.

The end.

You know, the most common hot take that I hear on the story is that it is an allegory for maternal love.

You just give everything that you have to your child, and you see them thriving, and they are so happy.

And the two things that I want to say to that are, one, nuh-uh, that's not how motherhood should work.

And two, the boy is not happy.

There is nothing in the story that indicates that this behavior results in the boy being happy.

The boy always comes back seeking more and doesn't understand why he doesn't feel fulfilled.

Yes.

This notion of give till it hurts.

No, sometimes pain is a sensor telling you to stop something.

And so don't give till it hurts and certainly don't give past hurting.

And the tree does.

"'I am too busy to climb trees,' said the boy.

"'I want a house to keep me warm,' he said.

"'I want a wife and I want children, and so I need a house.

"'Can you give me a house?'

And the tree said, "'Okay, hold up, this is already getting out of hand.'

Look, I was fine with giving you the apples to help you get on your feet.

They'll grow back next season anyway.

But no, I'm not giving you a house.

You know, I've seen boys like you pull this nonsense with other trees in the forest.

First it's the apples, then branches, then the trunk.

And before you know it, that mighty beautiful tree is just a sad little stump.

Well, look here, boy.

I love you like family, but I am not going down like that.

And as each generation played in her strong old branches, the tree often thought back to the fateful day when the boy had asked her for a house.

In truth, she would have gladly given him her branches to build one.

She would have given him her trunk to build a boat.

She loved him that much.

But then she would have had nothing left.

Not for herself, nor anyone else.

And there never would have been a home for the red squirrels.

There'd have been no hide-and-seek with the boys' grandchildren.

No bakery with the best apple pies anyone ever tasted.

Setting healthy boundaries is a very important part of giving.

It assures you'll always have something left to give.

And so the tree was happy.

Everyone was.

The End