Tracey Segarra

And when I hear that screen door open each Friday, it's like the cavalry has arrived and I can finally breathe. And she absolutely adores her granddaughters, but she is not your typical cookie-baking grandma. She's a Sicilian from the Bronx, you know? And one year, when the girls are about two or three, I hear her talking to them in the other room.

And I hear her say, oh, I love you so much, I just want to punch you. But she also has her tender side. And once when we go to visit them in the Bronx, I notice that she's been stealing things from the girls, like little things, like a stuffed animal or a barrette.

And I hear her say, oh, I love you so much, I just want to punch you. But she also has her tender side. And once when we go to visit them in the Bronx, I notice that she's been stealing things from the girls, like little things, like a stuffed animal or a barrette.

And I hear her say, oh, I love you so much, I just want to punch you. But she also has her tender side. And once when we go to visit them in the Bronx, I notice that she's been stealing things from the girls, like little things, like a stuffed animal or a barrette.

And I can't figure out why until it dawns on me that she literally wants something of theirs to hold on to when she can't be with them. When the girls are about four, I send out holiday cards every year, usually just season's greetings cards, but this year I decided to send out a Hanukkah card.

And I can't figure out why until it dawns on me that she literally wants something of theirs to hold on to when she can't be with them. When the girls are about four, I send out holiday cards every year, usually just season's greetings cards, but this year I decided to send out a Hanukkah card.

And I can't figure out why until it dawns on me that she literally wants something of theirs to hold on to when she can't be with them. When the girls are about four, I send out holiday cards every year, usually just season's greetings cards, but this year I decided to send out a Hanukkah card.

The girls are getting a little older, I'm starting to think about sending them to Hebrew school, but I don't send it to Rita because witnesses don't celebrate holidays, but I do send it to Fred's aunt, who lives near them in the Bronx and likes to display the cards.

The girls are getting a little older, I'm starting to think about sending them to Hebrew school, but I don't send it to Rita because witnesses don't celebrate holidays, but I do send it to Fred's aunt, who lives near them in the Bronx and likes to display the cards.

The girls are getting a little older, I'm starting to think about sending them to Hebrew school, but I don't send it to Rita because witnesses don't celebrate holidays, but I do send it to Fred's aunt, who lives near them in the Bronx and likes to display the cards.

And about a week later, Fred gets a call from his mother, and she tells him that since we've decided to raise our daughters as Jews, that she can no longer be part of our lives. And I'm shocked because she and I have never discussed religion, so I had no idea she might feel this way. And then I'm hurt because this is me. You know, like, how could she do this to me?

And about a week later, Fred gets a call from his mother, and she tells him that since we've decided to raise our daughters as Jews, that she can no longer be part of our lives. And I'm shocked because she and I have never discussed religion, so I had no idea she might feel this way. And then I'm hurt because this is me. You know, like, how could she do this to me?

And about a week later, Fred gets a call from his mother, and she tells him that since we've decided to raise our daughters as Jews, that she can no longer be part of our lives. And I'm shocked because she and I have never discussed religion, so I had no idea she might feel this way. And then I'm hurt because this is me. You know, like, how could she do this to me?

And then I get angry because this has to be the most anti-Semitic thing that's ever happened to me, and this is my family. But then I think, oh, you know, she's just in shock. She'll get over it, she'll call me, she'll apologize, and everything will be fine. And so I wait. But after four weeks of waiting, it's clear. She's not calling. And so then I dig in, and I say, you know what?

And then I get angry because this has to be the most anti-Semitic thing that's ever happened to me, and this is my family. But then I think, oh, you know, she's just in shock. She'll get over it, she'll call me, she'll apologize, and everything will be fine. And so I wait. But after four weeks of waiting, it's clear. She's not calling. And so then I dig in, and I say, you know what?

And then I get angry because this has to be the most anti-Semitic thing that's ever happened to me, and this is my family. But then I think, oh, you know, she's just in shock. She'll get over it, she'll call me, she'll apologize, and everything will be fine. And so I wait. But after four weeks of waiting, it's clear. She's not calling. And so then I dig in, and I say, you know what?

If she cannot accept us and how we're going to raise our daughters, then I don't want her in my life, and I'm done. And months pass. But about nine months later, a new dollar store opens up in my neighborhood, and I think of Rita, and I want to call her. And the urge to call her is just so strong that I pick up the phone. I have no idea what I'm going to say, and she answers on the first ring.

If she cannot accept us and how we're going to raise our daughters, then I don't want her in my life, and I'm done. And months pass. But about nine months later, a new dollar store opens up in my neighborhood, and I think of Rita, and I want to call her. And the urge to call her is just so strong that I pick up the phone. I have no idea what I'm going to say, and she answers on the first ring.

If she cannot accept us and how we're going to raise our daughters, then I don't want her in my life, and I'm done. And months pass. But about nine months later, a new dollar store opens up in my neighborhood, and I think of Rita, and I want to call her. And the urge to call her is just so strong that I pick up the phone. I have no idea what I'm going to say, and she answers on the first ring.

Hi, I say, it's Tracy. Hi, she says. I miss you, I say. I miss you too, she says. And just like that, it's over. We never discuss it. We just step over that time in our lives as if it never happened. And over the next seven years, she becomes my second mother. In 2011, Rita passes away. And I miss her. I miss her every day. But I think about what we almost missed.