Ty
Appearances
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Which I think me and Kate kind of relate to because we're like, you know, when you come from such a fucked up family, you create your own. You pick and choose your friends.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
They become your tribe. And it becomes almost like closer. I'm closer to a lot of my friends than I ever would be to my family.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Okay. So I talk a lot and I, whatever. So I go into these tangents and I, it leads off into other shit.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
We'll see. But I'll be talking. Usually when we're driving or when something's happening. Or in bed.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
I'm just trying to watch fat people get surgery. You're over here talking about...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
No, my kids watch it. 600 Pound Life and lifting and scrubbing. I haven't watched my 600 Pound Life in like six months.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
She watches toxic shit, dude.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
All I know is I come in there. TLC fat people, bro. And I'm sorry now.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
A thousand pound scissors is the one with the brow, heavy brow. Yes, yes, yes. All right. Sorry. No shade. Not the heavy brow. No, no. Okay. I just saw a picture.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Okay. Come on, Tammy. Whatever you are.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Kale, you're on Kate and Ty Break It Down.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
But back to Blue Monkey. Okay, back to Blue Monkey. Okay, see what I'm saying? So Blue Monkey is like if I notice I'm talking a lot and I get annoyed at myself in my own head and I'll look over and I can tell that she's just a head nodder. Okay, she's head nodding right now. She's saying, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. And so I'll say like –
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
I'll be like, yeah, you know, talking about, you know, oh, my God, so maybe we'll build a deck in the Blue Monkey thing, and then we'll do that. And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, all right, that's how I know I need to shut my mouth. You say blue monkey in your sentence.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
In the middle of a sentence just to see if – because if you're really listening, you'll catch it and be like, blue monkey, deck. Like, what are you talking about?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Yeah, she just found it out. So where did you go? I swear to God. I said, no, you didn't. I swear. I was like – and she's like, what do you say? I said, I say blue monkey.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
because i know for a fact that i started dying dude because she knows she's like oh i do check out a lot because you go on these rambling things so i have so you guys are not together for a day like say you guys are like going separate ways for whatever reason and he wants to tell you a story of what happened
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
yes or you made that up no i don't make it i'm gonna tell lies and for a while i'm listening like oh wow that's interesting and it's just going wait it's in our dna and going your body's made of stardust yes are you lying listen google it girl go ahead and google it it's all about science but anyway that's a good example that's a good example yeah usually a lot of the stuff is are we made of stardust hold on let me google this i have to
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Well, that's why when we reached out, it was just out of advice at first. And then you were like, I mean, this is what's going on. I'm like, all right, well, it seems authentic enough. And what else do I have to lose? You know what I mean?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
That's why Blue Monkey's important because there's things that I'm interested in where she just is like, dude.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
nope no it's not this is me and my normal brain okay it's exhausting up here so what i want so the next um inside out movie is going to be tyler's brain seriously no too many too many things went on there but yeah so it's like a thing that i do yeah which it's funny because i guess i've been doing it for so long i never thought i'd have to tell you about it because listen this is why i do it i do it because i don't want to make her feel like an asshole for me to be like are you listening to me you know and she's like no like yeah i mean i don't know
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
It's like, I don't want to put the pressure on because I know I talk a lot. It's called accountability. I'm a jibber jabber, whatever. Right. And so it's my way of just being like, okay, it's okay. You're going on.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
No. Really? I knew. Do you have ADHD? Yes.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
No. Not like that. Not like.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Yeah. I just. Okay. It's my own way of. Actually, it's helping you. I don't want to make you feel like an asshole, but did you just hear what I said?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Yeah, because I know myself. It's like, shut the fuck up, Tyler.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
We joked about it where Kate's like, I'm about to get you a Tyler red button.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
so did you know and kate's like oh we're gonna do because i swear that's how it always starts out no because like oh you know how you do your book stuff yeah and i was talking about oh i have i read books too and i was like you do well yeah you would not like my books why what are your books the last very scientifical right now i'm reading uh um leaving faith and anyway it's all philosophy stuff like you should you should join book club
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Yeah, it's philosophy. Yeah, but you're reading like some... In reading matter.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
In the cleric, we're all fam. I'm just saying. The immortality key, I don't think anyone would be interested in the immortality key book.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Like right now I'm reading Deconstructing, Leaving Church, Finding Faith, which is a whole thing about, yeah. But so it's always like, I don't follow, what do you call it? Like stories.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Yeah, exactly. They're all like, I don't even know what you call it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
You're into fat people on TLC.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
She can turn it off, and I cannot. Turn her off. I'm always... Same.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
I wish I could. I'm envious of that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
So when you're... You got seven kids.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
So is that what you do? You read your books? Is that how you kind of escape?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Yo, our TVs are bluey in Miss Rachel, and that's just what it is. So I don't really watch TV. I just read.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
She's like stirring her coffee. Like dude, kid.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
you would internalize it a lot. And I'm like, whoa, whoa.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
And she would, I was like, do not emotional, emotionally monitor me.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
I'm not your mom. I'm not your, I'm not your abuser. I'm not, I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to love you and support you. So please don't emotionally monitor me. That's fine. And I felt like at the time I, but I didn't know any of that at first. So I was like, why are you so like,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
like paranoid almost like and i was like what is going on so yeah and really like you need to like and by the way that book it's a very easy read it's not very like probably read it on a plane ride yeah it's not it's not very like doctory okay yeah yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna send it to you okay because we're going to spain next week and we're there for two weeks so that's like oh that's sweet yeah lincoln got picked to play soccer to go awesome yeah so we're gonna go all right speaking of like kids sports okay so how many of your seven kids are in sports
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
I always want to do the debate team.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
And he's not, and he's in ninth grade.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Well, because in reality, it's like, how could you even realistically say fuck MTV? Because it's like, you wouldn't even... And I always... You wouldn't have what I have without it. I mean, so I was like, you know.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
I reached out to you before. Remember when all that... I was like, I want to let you know as I'm like, you know, people just... Yeah, like... 100%. People have these weird... Where they'll categorize them. They'll try to do all these things. But it's because... I honestly feel like – and this is just my belief, but I feel like souls like Isaac are wiser.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
They may not be in age but in experience, in wisdom. They just have a way. And I think people – they kind of – They don't like it. They don't – and if they can't figure it out, they'll vilify it or they'll categorize it or label them.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
So is Elijah going over here and you're going over here? No.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What controversy is surrounding a nanny?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Wait, so, because I never even knew nannies lived with people. I always thought nannies, like you said, come clock in, clock out during the hours that parents came.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Okay, nanny living in the house is more... Yes.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
How did you find a nanny, Kale, that you trusted?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Yeah, because we just have three in our chaos. I do.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
So people think you still owe, you're saying that people... Like I should still be... Thankful? I mean, I think you are.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Well, it's funny, because I'm like, all right, let's reach out to Kale and ask her about it, and then all of a sudden it just turned into, like, I had no, we had no intention of, like, oh, we'll work together and do this.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Yeah, it's not like you're out here bashing MTV or trying to... Right, I get mad sometimes.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
I get, you know... But when you think about our show, I mean, as far as T-Mom goes, it's the only one that's out there that's like this. I mean, nothing has been followed this diligently, this long, this intense because... we're not a party show. We're not housewives. We are like us, nitty gritty, middle of trauma, parenting, and just marriage is divorce. I mean, the whole thing.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
And I feel like for you, yeah, for you, that was a big thing. It was like all your relationship stuff.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Do you regret having your friendships be so involved in the TV world? Okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
And then you guys had a falling out, but it wasn't really publicized by TV cameras, right?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Are you still friends with any of those people that you had a falling out with publicly on camera?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Which is why we literally have the same... Friends that we've had since we were in middle school.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Oh yeah. And I've actually, no, I've actually helped a lot of people, but I never would even go public with it. Cause it was, my intention was really just to help you out. Right. Um, but.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Wow. We talked a little bit about that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
But that's different. Yeah, right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
No, I have. It's like, no, I refuse to watch my tribe suffer. And if I can do something about it, I will do something about it because like me and her and some people, even my mom was like, why would you do that? And I'm like, mom, it's just money is money. It comes and it goes. I could die tomorrow and it's gone. It's worthless.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
these people like cry yeah and nobody gets to see it christmas dinners i've we've adopted kids and you know because you should you should give back to people for sure you know need and also like as far as a lot of our friends were just kind of living the same childhoods that we did so like when they're doing all the right things like we we've gotten them houses we've helped them get cars houses i mean trailers but still
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Really? Wow. Wow. Hey, whatever.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
But yeah, even recently we got our friend who just got her child back from not – and we got her a car because she was struggling and didn't have a car. And it's just like – and also letting one of our friends borrow my car. I'm not going to sit there with two cars in my driveway and then have someone in my tribe.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Yeah, and not have a car. I'm like, I'm not even driving this. Take it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
And they're like, oh my god, really? I'm like, yeah, it's fine. Like I feel like – If you take care of your people, your people take care of you. And that's how awesome our friends are.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
So you have no childhood friends from when you were young?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
what is your like longest friendship like years? Like, well, how, who's your, I mean, cause if you're moving all the time, how do you even get connect? How do you like establish?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Woo! Okay, so we're here. We're here.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
again like i don't want to discredit anyone listening to this yeah we're friends but i mean like on a like a really intimate personal level i don't think that i have any really childhood friends yeah so do you feel like because i do you feel like people like get that misconception about you that like oh you you have so many friends because i remember becky said something about which i didn't even know she's like yeah you know kayla always gets this this hate for having revolving door friends and can't keep
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
Like, friendships or whatever.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
So, okay. So with the friendships that you had for like 10 years or whatever, obviously you had kids in those 10 years. And so do your friends, are they close with your children? And then your children, I mean, do you have to explain to your kids that, oh, the reason my Becky's not around anymore or whatever? You know what I mean?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
No, definitely off limits. Yeah, for sure.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry
That's what I'm saying. That's what Macy said. Yeah, because you said that like all my friends became this huge part of my TV story.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
And it was kind of the same thing, you know, where we grew up. It was majority white. You know, we had, like, two different kids that were different races. You know, we didn't have... you know, lesbians or, you know, any queer people. Yeah. There was all of that. Just a small little town, but we all knew.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
I'll never forget when she told me like, hey, you know, I just want to let you know like I'm gay. And I said, what?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
I it's okay I know it's okay I love you and I know and I just tried to hold that space for her but I was just like yeah I know I've known you know just waiting for you to want to come and say it but I hope you guys know that if you haven't recognized it you guys probably saved and healed a lot of parts of her
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Right, right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
I was going to say, because I feel like when you are coming out to people or telling people, who you really are as a person, it's scary. And you, there's gotta be fear and you're being very vulnerable. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
And now people watch the video. She's standing outside your door and she's already bawling her eyes out before she even sees you.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
When people are doing good and they're making changes, it's important. I feel like if you see it and you are a true friend, you do tell them those things.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Yeah. Um, especially being, you know, like a lesbian couple, you know,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
I was going to say, no, like I've met Becky, you know, I think it's been more than once.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
And it shouldn't be.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Oh, so you both are going to carry.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Thank you.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Thank you.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Thank you.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Oh, congrats. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
It looked beautiful wherever you had it at. It was at my house. Wow, really? Yeah. Yes, Tyler. That's what I mean.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
I'm like, oh, my God. You guys are so beautiful. I'm like a little puddle over here. Seriously. I'm a puddle.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Sometimes I'm like, come on, can we please leave? I know.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Now it's time to settle down and give that to a little person.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
It's like your child can experience it with you guys and her for the first time, you know?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
That's beautiful.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
That's what I mean for the younger generations too, you know, somebody who feels maybe a little different, you know, like to see people and be like, oh, it's okay. Cause in the future I could have these things. I feel like a lot of queer people and trans people, you know, they don't, Have that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
You know, it's becoming more common because people like, uh, like you and our friends, they talk about it by sharing their story.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Even if it's one person that I did what I was supposed to, you know?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Well, and we can dive deeper into things that are important to us.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
thankfully we're people that think like that everybody does you know something that's really important that me and kate strive for is just staying curious i always want to be curious i don't ever label something and just be done with it and put it on the shelf i want to like always keep it open and that's why like when we saw we were you know gonna interview interview you you um i was like we don't know anything about becky i only know a little bit yeah and he was like well that makes it even better we're gonna have the best conversation ever and
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Yeah. So now, moving forward, all I know now is I want to meet your wife now. You guys sound like amazing people.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
I think we need to set something up if she's ever comfortable, even Zoom. Like, I want to, like, keep up with your story a little bit.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
I would love to keep up on your guys' story. Because, like I said, I have a... And I just want to say thank you for coming on and just being vulnerable and sharing who you are as a person. I think it's beautiful. And...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
We need to come on that. Yeah. A thousand percent fits with us. Like,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Well, all right. We got some things to. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
If a kid at that point. It's been a while. It really has.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Yeah, I was. Yeah, I like 17.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Oh, okay. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
And also, I think the beautiful thing about it is when you are, you know, you're committed to somebody for so long and you're engaged for a while.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
uh ty is my best friend you know what i mean i look at my friends my friend group and i'm like he's my best friend he knows everything about me we've been through so much together and i feel being best friends is the perfect foundation to a relationship absolutely you know because yeah
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Especially the person you're going to be with forever. It should be like, you should want to spend all the time and travel with them and have fun. Even when you're doing nothing, it's still fun, you know?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Right. We actually like each other.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
So, you know. Sorry.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
What a shocker. So, obviously, you're a lesbian. You have a wife, as you said. I was kind of interested in what... whatever you feel comfortable sharing, but what was, like, your coming out journey? Like, how old were you when you realized and kind of your journey of, you know, coming out and letting everybody know?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
It's like, Ashley, we have a friend just like him.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Welcome back to Kate and Ty break it down.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
You love a beautiful woman.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Meeting Becky: Being Kail's friend, her coming out story & the grueling IVF journey
Our whole friend group knew it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
We're about to get married. I'm like, who am I marrying? What's this? You know what I mean? I'm going through my own shit, but I didn't want to like pour all out because I didn't know what was going on. And so I was trying to tread lightly and I just, I guess I sucked at treading lightly because I am too blunt and I just speak and whatever. Like I...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah, I just know, I just remember feeling very stuck. Yeah. Super, like, stuck. And also concerned that, is this the rest of our life? Is this what it's going to be like? Like, this is crazy.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. I like it. Unless they say like, hey, you can say my name. Right. Even if you tell us so that we can say your name, we're probably not going to say your name. I think it's better when it's anonymous. Yeah. Because, hey, it just works.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah, it's like post-relinquishment parenting. Yeah. They call it like, you know, a birth mom who was placed and then she goes on to have other kids. Like, post-relinquishing parenting is a super triggering thing. And I think, honestly, like, look back at it. I think it's exactly what happened. You had Nova. We were all... We're supposed to be happy.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And you're like, why am I not, like, feeling like what's going... I think it just was...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. Yeah, because it's not like you didn't bond with Nova. Oh, no, I definitely did. Yeah, some women, like, you know, talk about, like, not even being able to bond, didn't really hold, didn't, like, have the desire. And you weren't like that at all. You just seemed very robotic. Yeah. It's just, like, I remember talking to you, and you'd be like, you know, yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I was just like, God, there's no, like... like reciprocal anything.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And you were like, just, just, just like this numb walking thing.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
So I knew something was off. I just didn't know how to deal with it. And, like, yeah, I don't know. I just feel... Looking back, I just feel really bad. I wish I would have been more educated. I wish someone would have, like, pulled me aside and said, like, hey, have you asked for this? Have you tried this? Have you done that? You know what I mean?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I was just trying to, like... I was almost, like, trying to pretend, like, it would just go away.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I was worried for sure. But I think the worry manifested in the frustration. Cause I'm like, all right, get up. We're going to go for a walk. You're like, come on. Like, like, you know, and, and then when you just didn't want to do it or you had no enthusiasm, I was like, I just want to shake.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
you like what's wrong with you like you know what i mean like so that concern turned into frustration i think the frustration is what was delivered when we were filming because they wanted of course to dive deep into that oh she's on the oh what's going on and i'm like you know so yeah i don't know i just feel bad i feel if i can go back in time i wish i would have been you know much more educated and more softer well and obviously you must have you must have had a
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
You know, first I remember at first, like, I don't know. And I was like, you don't know. Like, I mean, usually people answer like, yeah, I'm good. Or no, I'm not. You were like, I don't know. And I'm like, that's, that's what I'm saying. Like, yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And yeah, like I remember like going up to the room too, because obviously when you went up there to take a nap, I just left, you know, I'm like, whatever, it's fine. But I remember going up there, I'm like, I can't do this anymore.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Because I remember thinking in my head, it comes to a point when you're dealing with someone else who has a mental illness or has something going on, where burnout fatigue, it's like you get- Well, it takes a toll on the other person. Yeah, the caretaker gets caretaking fatigue. They get burnt out. They feel whatever they feel. And so I felt like, I can't do this anymore. Right. Because then what?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I think it kind of all comes together in that realm.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
If I lose myself- by trying to always protect this, then, then what?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Now Nova's got two parents who are checked out, you know what I mean? Because I'm over here, you know, whatever. So I remember going up to the room and just being like, we got it. Something's gotta, something's gotta happen.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
But I think it's important that we, in the beginning of this, kind of go through... Stuff that we feel we should just clarify things on or explain further or whatever.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah, it was scary. Oh yeah, it was scary for me too. Because I also feel like people don't know what it's like to be the other person. They're like, oh my God, I feel so bad. She's depressed. But no one knows what it's like when you love somebody watching them do it. Watching them just crumble in front of you and you can't do anything about it. It's like you feel so helpless.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
It's like, oh my God, what do I do? So I feel like... At the same time, I was going through my own stuff, just putting it on the back burner. Yeah, which is not fair. Well, no, but knowing that I'll come back to this. Yeah. Like you said, I had a little bit more experience with therapy and stuff like that, being a younger kid. So I knew I was like, I'm just going to put this on the back burner.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
But you were the priority at that point. So I feel like... You know, I just, I don't know. I just feel like the postpartum depression stuff needs to be talked about more.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
and just help out there. Well, it's one of those things too, like you said, you go to the doctor and they say, here's some pills. That's half the treatment plan.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Any psychiatrist or therapist will tell you pills are half, 50%. The other 50% is therapy. Like, dude, you can't just take a pill. If you could just take a pill, everyone would be okay. We would have no mental health crises, right? You just take a pill and everything would be fine.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And the first thing that I was like, well, what I see a lot of is obviously people are taking the clips that we filmed, you know, I don't know.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
So that's the whole point is that pills are 50% of the treatment plan.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I think a lot of people don't even 50. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
It's my therapist. It's like, Oh, you you're, you're burnt out. And I'm like, okay. I'm a dad. And yeah, like, sure. Yeah. No, no, no. You're not understanding. It's like a thing. It's like a caretaking fatigue. Like you literally, and they can lead into caretaking. You can get depressed. Right. Oh, it makes sense. And I remember I, like I said, I was freaked out.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I was like, Oh my God, I can't afford that. I said, we can't both be depressed people. Like, Oh,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I'm like, Oh my God. Like what? And so I remember like learning about it and reading about it and then, Oh, okay. Like this is what I got to do. And that's when I kind of was like, that's when I was kind of like, okay, I can't put this in the back burner for too much. No, bring it forward.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
But, yeah, I just think, yeah, I think the post-birth resources for women should be higher.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
10 12 years ago whatever and they're kind of using it in nowadays way and like oh this is what was going on back then and how trying to dissect it yeah whatever they're trying to do and um and of course it always comes back to like your when you were just had severe postpartum depression and when you were down and out and when you were worried about your weight and and remember we did a whole it was like a whole season oh my god that was the worst season of my life
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah, there's a lot of books out there now where people talk about their experience. And also, what about genetic testing? Genetic testing is what you do to figure out what your body metabolizes as far as medication goes. It works for everything from Tylenol to antipsychotics. It'll tell you exactly what medication will not work and what medication will work.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Why we're not implementing that into the medical field is weird to me. Like that should be a literally a paid for insurance covered thing where you get a genetic test done every time that you go to a doctor. And, and then once you get that list, you know, okay, that why, why be a guinea pig? For medications.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Which I think brings up a good point. People say, oh, she got back from treatment, went back to it, going back to it. It's like, no, no, no. She went back to treatment because her symptoms were not gone.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yep. Genetic testing. Isn't that crazy?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I think it did, too. Because after the six weeks or whatever, after you being on the new stuff, I was like, oh, wow. There's a little bit... I can see a little bit of light coming back. Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I think I'm proud of you because I think in spite of that, like you were worried about, Oh my God, he's in a, be burdened and he's going to feel this and he's going to feel that, but you're still like, it's worth the risk. I had to do it for myself. I had to do it. I remember I looked back and I'm like, damn, I'm so glad you did that because we wouldn't even be where we are.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I think it saved it. Yeah. Because I don't know what would have happened.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
What's worse? Oh, it's true. And that's what I think people don't understand is that... And also, like, I remember telling you that I can't do this anymore. If this is what it's going to be like, then we just... We're not going to work. Yeah. Because there comes a point in time where I have to retreat and I have to figure out my shit.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Honestly. It was the worst season. Actually, it was like two seasons. I feel like we had a certain producer and it just wasn't working.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I think when you got back from treatment, that's when I felt... the freedom to do so. I was like, okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. I was learning. Yeah. And then you got back and I'm like, all right, you feel... I feel good. I'm going to... Now I'm going to put the... back on the front burner. Right. And I think people... criticized me a lot for that, which is fine. I mean, they criticize you for leaving. Yeah, of course.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
That's what we're here for. But I remember getting criticized because it was like, oh, you know, now you're going to do a trial separation. Now you're going to do all these things.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I couldn't help it. I thought that... He wants to play big bad, you know? No, I... Hey, I... No, I fully admit, I was a bitch. I could... I didn't do... The therapist that I was seeing... I mean, you did for a minute. Yeah, the therapist that I was seeing was like, this is what a... This is what it's called, and it's called... You know, you just kind of, like...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
you know, you just separate, focus on yourself for a little bit. Yeah. It feels like, and then I remember going to my therapist after a week of it. And I was like, no, it ain't for me. And she's like, well, why? And I'm like, well, because I, I said, I don't, I want to be with my wife. I want to be with my kid. I said, and I supported it. Like it was hard for me. I know.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. Yeah. Cause I think that's, I mean, that's what it was required. I think for me, cause I was like, I have to do this or else what am I going to do? I didn't want to work out trial separation.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
You're going to divorce me. The very first time you ever asked me that, I said, divorce is not even on my radar.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
He wants to divorce me. It wasn't even close. I wasn't even thinking about divorcing. I'm thinking about, I got to separate myself from the... And I think it was important for me to do that because when you were gone, I got in robot mode of kind of, like, monitoring your depression, making sure Noah was good. And I got in, like, you know, my own dad robotic mode.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I knew that I had to, like, remove myself from it so that way I could, like, look at it from a different perspective.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah, it was hard. I mean, missing and then on top of it, you know, it's like.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Schools and all. Yeah. Just all of it. And so I knew I needed to get out of it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. And then I remember thinking, feeling guilty. I mean, I got to go back to the house because my therapist told me I can't do this. That's why I feel like I'm breaking the rules. I'm not listening.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I look back at now and it wasn't necessary. But maybe it was. I don't know. I don't think it was. And I'm not saying don't listen to your therapist. I'm saying follow your intuition. My intuition never told me to do the trial separation. My intuition was saying.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Because I'm not a professional therapist.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And she was talking about all these things. And I'm like, okay, so maybe there's things.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. Well, I also feel like it's almost like when you're filming a reality show, it's like you bring up one thing. Even if you're just talking to the producer, like, just chilling.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
are you serious i mean she helped me a lot elvis i mean she talked no that stuff yeah but some of the scenes and stuff i've seen i'm like oh she hates me she thinks i'm crazy wow i never got okay i mean i get i guess what you're watching it from your whatever okay yeah but i mean i don't know all i know is my intuition was saying otherwise but i knew i had to be logical because i'm not a mental health professional and i could be addicted to you or i could be whatever the fuck was going on we're trauma yeah we're trauma bonded oh
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Listen, I'll be honest with you, everyone out there. If we're trauma-bonded, I really highly suggest it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Like we've been using our Instagram page to kind of like, kind of bring you guys into this whole experience, which I think is the best because you guys bring up stuff that we never even, I would never even have thought of.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And they also said that everyone to a point, if you're with someone long enough throughout a period of your life... Yeah. You will bond over trauma. Of course. It won't be the only bond you have. No. But you go through, like, for instance, growing up and being married for a long time, you know, the spouse's parent dies. That's trauma. Right. You're going to bond over that. You are. Of course.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
So I think it's interesting when Dr. Mike was like, well, everyone's trauma-bonded. And I was like, whoa, whoa, what does that mean? And he's like, well, everyone, he said, what I mean by is that there's a healthy level and there's a toxic level. Right. He's like, and, but everyone, just like everyone to a point is codependent.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And then they go, oh, and they, like, attack that situation and go, okay, let's, let's, let's.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
We have to be or else all babies would die. We'd all die. So he's like, it just, there's a spectrum and a level of where it's toxic.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
okay well love it yeah oh we love each other i don't know bring it you call it trauma bond i call it support and love and i don't know what else to call it i don't yeah i don't understand it hey if we're trauma bond i highly suggest it for people so I mean, I've confirmed that we're not because we've got confirmed from multiple people.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
we're not abused. And you know what I mean?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Well, I, well, it's like when I, you control all of my things, dictating motherfucker. Um, but people like, it's also even with our friends. It's like, I'll see like in here, some of their issues in their relationships. And I'm like, Whoa, I think we're like, I mean, like, dude, like, I don't think people understand. We don't fight.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And we've never called each other out of like our name. Yeah. I think it's almost like kind of weird that like, I almost like something wrong with us because why are we, it's not nothing wrong with us. No, I tell you. Yeah. They, you just don't learn how to communicate. We have done such a good job of like, well, honey, we've been together for like, what?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I feel like that season was like the moment you mentioned about losing the baby weight because everything was about like, oh, you're our first child we're parenting.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I just think it's interesting, though, how it's like, people, well, every couple fights, and I'm like, that's not true. No, I think do we have... It's not if you fight, it's how you fight.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
But I'm saying, like, I would never consider anything that we've had a fight, in my opinion.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Are you thinking of what I'm thinking? I don't know. Are you thinking of what I'm thinking?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I remember the fight, walking on the dirt road all drunk, trying to catch you. Like, I don't want my girlfriend to walk down the road. I was like, we gotta get her, dude.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
No, yeah, he was driving. Yeah, he wasn't. But we were like, I'll remember saying, like, don't let her walk. I'm walking home. I'm like, dude, we're 50 miles from home in the back roads. Who started it? I don't know either, but... But yeah, like, we don't... We just don't fight. So I feel like... And I'm saying, like... It's not if you fight, it's how you fight. Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
You're getting married now. And it came all about your weight. And I remember being like, we talked about it all the time. You always mentioned about like, I want to lose weight. I'm going to do Weight Watchers. I want to do this. I want to do that. And so... we talked about it a lot and it never, it never was like a negative bad thing.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I think how we fight, I wouldn't call it fight, but how we disagree is not toxic. It's not... No, it's healthy.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Or, like, I know there's a lot of, like, people we know, they'll, like, just pretend that nothing ever happened.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And that's the worst. I could never deal with that anxiety, bro.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I couldn't do it. I could not. I couldn't do it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
One fucking year. But your panic attack was pretty bad.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
What's that? Like, even with something with your mom recently and stuff, you're like, I'm calling.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And it's kind of crazy because look at the polarity. Like, I don't need to come in the bedroom and say, hey, are you okay? Something's wrong with you. Right. You go, something's wrong with me. I got a call.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I don't know, honey. We're going to definitely traumatize our fucking kids eventually.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I, I, but I think when you're in a situation and you're filming a show and they're like, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, we're eating a meal. Right. And we're talking about, and they're like, Hey, so how, how's the weight loss thing going?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
We're the only country that has this problem.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I agree. And it should be covered. Absolutely. It's a mental health thing. Absolutely. But I think the whole problem is that we have to eventually get to a point where... We're looking at it as a real... We need to look at mental health the same way you look at diabetes. Oh my God, you have diabetes. You're diagnosed? Okay, great. Epi, pen, diet change. You get a treatment plan. Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
We need to literally look at mental health the same exact way. It's an illness. To incorporate the mental health into the full biology of health issues. You know what I'm saying? Stop separating it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And stop like demonizing it and stop like, you know, just stop. Stop doing that. It's a health problem. Yeah, it's sick. Come on, dude.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah, or divorced parents who are, yeah, that's a whole, yeah, so it's like.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. And that's what I was concerned about. I knew something was wrong. I'm like, dude, I really, yeah, I just, yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
that's not a good feeling no no suicide suicidal ideation is fucking and i also think it's crazy too because i'm just glad that you never had to deal with it like watching some acts i think i like i think you'd have a hard time if you watch me just like completely just oh my god horrible time it's just like because you're you start it's hard i've been doing what you did i'll be like all right we're going here yeah we're talking to this person also it's hard enough to question is something wrong with me
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Oh, remember when I was like, it's gotta be me. I gotta be like, you know, you're like, no Tyler, it's nothing with you. It's me. It's my own shit. It's my mom. It's my life. It's my trauma. And I'm like, are you sure? Because you know what I mean? Like it's hard not to internalize it. Like, okay, she's just not happy with me or something. You know what I mean? Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I feel like when that situation was going on, it was like what the TV didn't show was that behind closed doors, you were talking about how bad you want to lose weight.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I would say boundaries is the only way to do it. Because, and I mean boundaries, and I think people should understand the difference between boundaries and ultimatums.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
They are two different things. And I think people can sometimes like mesh them together and they're not.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Well, a boundary is to protect me. And an ultimatum is to control somebody else.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And their behavior. Right. You can never control somebody else's behavior. Impossible. Can't do it. Waste of time. You're going to drive yourself crazy trying to do.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
So, you know, so you can't just first off, get those two things out of your mind where I think my boundary is, you know, you don't stop doing this. I'm going to do this that, you know, a boundary is not a response, right? to them doing something wrong or bad in spite, despite them. It's, it's, it's for yourself. It's to protect yourself. It's, it's, you know what I mean? Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
It's just... So in a way, it's almost like your boundaries, actually more or less like your boundaries to yourself. Like my boundary is I will leave and remove myself from the situation if I notice her drinking.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
The boundary has nothing to do with her, you know, personal behavior. It's like, okay, well, boundaries are also really... Nobody can enforce a boundary but you. Right. The person can't... You are in control of enforcing the boundary or not.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And those are your words. You're like, listen, you need to hold me accountable because I'm not good at this. I was like, okay. And I'm like, I think, you know, 10, 11 years ago, I was, my delivery was off. I messed up tremendously with my delivery. I won't say, I don't think my intent was wrong. I just feel like the way I delivered and expressed that intent was wrong.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Because it can be scary to enforce your boundaries. Especially when you're so used to a certain dynamic.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
It's hard to break that. I always call it the dance.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I remember it's funny because I remember bringing it up to you like years in your relationship where I'm like, you and your mom have a certain dance you do. And that's the only way I could explain it. I'd watch it happen in real time.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And come to find out, it was like your dynamic. That's the dynamic you created with your mom. Right. And so it takes one person to stop moving. I'm going to stop dancing. Yep. And the other person starts going, whoa, you missed a step. We got to twirl. What are you doing? You know what I mean? Yeah, and you're like, I'm not doing this anymore. You're not dancing the right way. Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Well, I'm actually just kind of stopping this dance. I'm stopping this dynamic. I'm switching it to something more healthy for me.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I would just, first of all, I'd be honest. You have to be honest and communicate. Yeah. I mean, I think going into it with the intention of trying not to hurt their feelings is going to be messy.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. Like going to have been like, my goal is to make this amazing. Right. Not to criticize you, not to judge you, not to make you feel like shit about yourself. It's so literally just, I'm trying to get the best out of this.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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I get it. Yeah. Um, especially if it has something to do with them. Like, and this was a female.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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I guess my thing is, though, is that you can't worry about hurting his feelings. You first need to just ask yourself, what do I want? What do I need? What am I missing? And then you fill in the gaps. You don't need to tell him why you're... Well, it's like, just, okay, this is what I want. This is what I need. And then my whole thing is that, like...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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It's completely a possibility that what you want or what you need, he can't do. Okay. And that is something that I think people need to like get comfortable with.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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It's a whole different... Okay, right. Right? So we got to first establish this is what I need. Can you provide yes or no?
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Right? And then I think asking yourself the question to yourself first before asking him, I need this. And it's like, well, he can't do that. Do you know what I'm saying? Okay. And then kind of prioritizing it in your own head before coming to him and saying it. Because that might... If you do it to yourself in your head, you can go, okay, oh, but that could help. And so I definitely think...
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don't approach him without having your own solution. I thought about it, what I want and what I need. And here's a solution. You know what I mean? And that I thought of, do you have any solutions? Is there anything I can do? Also, I think reciprocating like, Hey, I'm going to tell you what I wish you could do better or what I missing or what I need. And then invite him to do the same exact thing.
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Exactly. And there, and that's, what's kind of creating this weird, like, Ooh, I don't want to hurt your feelings. I don't want to hurt your feelings. And it's like, well, you know what? If we're in this for the long haul, I've always said this. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. I kind of apologize later on if it happens, but we got to get to the nitty gritty.
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Because me and you are a firm believer that that is one of the pinnacles.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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You have to be honest. You have to communicate and you have to have a healthy sex life. It's, it's, it's, that's it. I mean,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And especially when you're filming a show and this is like the fourth time they've asked this question.
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Right. You know? Do that again. Or that was really great.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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I think sometimes it's also better because you're –
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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you're in the moment it's organic you're not like you don't have time to go oh man all right she didn't like that last night right so maybe that's what i'm saying yeah or if you don't want to hurt his feelings like oh when you do this this that feels fucking amazing or when you do when you do this that out no that hurts or you don't like that that's weird right i don't know yeah i mean i guess i'm thinking about oh my god i don't know if we're in the middle of doing something you're like ew don't do that well you don't say like that you say ah no that hurts
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It's like, all right, you know, how much points is that? Like, what's, you know. After a while, it gets super annoying. But I did it because that's part of our job when we were filming. So I just feel like I've been seeing all these comments and the people tagging us. And I'm like, well.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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You're just talking about pain. I know. Not every girl's getting hurt. True. What I'm saying is that, like, if it's not heading to the pain and you're just like.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Because what if in the middle of a role reversal, in the middle, I'm like, ew, don't do that. Or I will say ew. Yeah. Why would you say ew? Don't do that.
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Because you're thinking of pain, though. Don't do it. You know, you've got to get out. Okay, I'm thinking of, like, not everybody's in pain. So what I'm saying is that vice versa, you don't want to hurt me besides when you had the fucking IUD. But if I said something, like, don't do that. That wasn't hot. I didn't like that at all.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Maybe that's what needs to happen. How about everyone just, you know what? Hey, whoa.
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And I think, listen, you don't always have to use words spoken. You can write it in a note. You can text it. Everyone feels safer. Just communicate in the safest way for you.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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But I also think, like, talk about your needs and wants and then come up with your own solutions. Or at least I give you a solution.
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Because what I'm telling you right now, I think even man, woman, if I tell you, I don't like that. And then you go, what should I do? And I go, I don't know, but I don't like that. Yeah, it doesn't help. You know what I'm saying? So figure out what... your own solution could be.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Cause you imagine, I was like, I don't like you do that. And you're like, well, what should I do different? I'm like, I don't know. Don't do that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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But then you don't know what needs to happen. It's interesting that you bring that up because one of the things that I kept seeing from our Instagram was, uh, the, the, a frequency, uh, I think when we say the relationship advice, a lot of it's sexual. A lot of it has to do with it.
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Which I think reiterates my point that I think it's one of the number one pinnacles thing. So it's like if, I mean, what's the frequency? Some people are like, oh, I don't want it more than once or twice a week. Some people are like, I want it four times a week. And it's like, that's also an important conversation. I also think there are therapists that are specifically focused
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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For this issue. Yeah. Sex therapists will probably open up all the doors you need to be opened in a safe space.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And you talk to a therapist outside and be like, this is my problem. Okay, we can deliver that in a way that protects everybody. Right. It feels great. So, boom.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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I don't necessarily think there is an ethical way to adopt that is completely fully child-centered unless all parties are trauma-informed people. Yeah. That means the adoptive parents, the birth parents, and whatever. They both need to be very trauma-informed about what adoptees experience. My opinion... I don't think infant adoption is ethical. I just don't.
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I think foster care adoption is very ethical because you're already going to children in a crisis who need help. They need help. They're already born. They're already here. They're already suffering, really. The foster care system is full of children yearning for that. So I think the question is, what... do you seek to get out of adoption?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Do you seek to be a mom to a newborn baby and be able to raise the baby from a baby to an adult?
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If so, I don't think you should adopt because no baby is a blank slate. You don't just get a baby separated from its mother and has maternal separation trauma and pre-verbal trauma and stuff like that and it's a blank slate. And try to make it your own. It's not. It's not going to happen and that's an unfortunate,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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I think if you're struggling with infertility, that you should go and heal or at least start the process of dissecting that infertility trauma way before you adopt, way before even thinking about it. And if it comes to the point where you do want to adopt, I highly suggest the next step is through foster care. I don't think private infant adoption is ethical in any way that I can find out there.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Oh, yeah, I know what you're talking about. She actually said that she was not trauma-informed when she first adopted and that she learned. I had to really learn as an adopted mom. I had to break down my own stereotypes that I built in my head. And she's like, I used to justify some of the decisions I made. I used to justify my desire to be a mom.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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by minimizing or pretty much avoiding the fact that it was trauma-based. You don't have adoption without trauma.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Like I joke about that stuff. Yeah. And I feel like in that context, it, Like, I noticed a lot of the clips they play, they don't play the afterwards where it was like, well, do you think I'm a heifer? And I'm like, no, my God, no.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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No. There's not any ethical options. That's why when we're talking about infant adoption, we're talking about adoptions not necessary. Kinship adoption, aunts, uncles, somewhere... Grandmas. Ileal, anything. That's the first option, I think, if a birth mom...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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is in a situation where it's a crisis and she can't do this and it's not actually first option should be like resources well of course no no right second option yeah we would be like kinship adoption yeah kinship adoption and guardianship i even know like the word using the word adoption like guardianship is a really it's the same thing so i think i think all prospective adoptive parents ask yourself what is my intention for doing this is it to help children
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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It's to become a parent because your infertility trauma does not make you entitled to anyone else's baby. And you can't justify that desire by saying, I'm saving the kid. Ew, that's gross. Don't ever say that. Don't ever say it. You're not... No. That's disturbing. Adoptees don't like that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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I shouldn't want to find my birth family. I shouldn't be having these issues, identity crises that I'm having because I should be grateful and I'm taken care of. And that's just not something you do. So I think any prospective adoptive parents... Read the primal wound. Talk to a therapist about your infertility trauma or why you can't have a baby.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Yes. I know that there are some people who they just grow up and go, I don't want to have my own natural kid. I just want to adopt. Okay. If you want to do that, foster care. Right. Help the children who really need it and are already born and alive.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Because foster care... is designed for reunification with the biological family. And that's why.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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We know it's best. There's data out there. So just don't go into this blindly. And also don't go into it selfishly. I know you want to be a parent. I understand that. And I think your trauma about not being able to be one is valid and it's real. However, that is your responsibility to figure out. And it is not the responsibility of an innocent child to fulfill that responsibility.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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whole or that had no choice who had no choice um to rob them of their biological identity etc etc to fill this void that you have because you can't have your own children yeah that's not fair that's not child-centered if you adopt it needs to be child-centered period all the way around beautiful i think so too
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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So it fits their narrative and it works good for their story. Right. But I'm like, you know, like that heifer scene, bro, I will never.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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The child. And you still have guardianship. You still can make all the legal decisions. It's primary custodial. Yes, forever. There's no difference.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Adoption is literally legal transfer. Just strip them of everything. It's a legal transfer. Yeah. That's all it is. Like, it's literally, there's nothing else to it, so.
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We love it. So subscribe, like, share, comment, whatever. Give us all the love. Give us all the love. We need it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Ever live it down. But I think it's interesting because they play it as if I called you one.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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I don't... I think... That's how it comes across to me. I'm like, wow. I think what they do is they try to understand why would this... What's an excuse for her to stay or this to work out? I don't have to have an excuse. And that's the thing. There is no excuse because I never called you a heifer. It was the producer asking, Tyler, what do you look for? I can't remember what she said.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And I was like, well, obviously, I don't want no... I'm being honest. You asked me what I wanted or didn't want. And I was being honest. And I felt like... Just the same way I'd ask you, like, do you want some big old heffing dude? Right. Beer drinking, beer belly guy? And you're like, no. And I'm like, all right, cool.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Now, I think it's ironic because I think if you said that, I don't think you'd get as much hate. Probably not. Do you know what I'm saying? It was the fact that I had said what I said and then I'm a guy and you're a girl. I think it just... Obviously, I get it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Looking back. And then I also feel like when we were doing all those scenes and they were asking, it always brought up when we were eating. It was like... Yeah, it was all the time when we were eating. The quesadilla thing. Oh, God, yeah. Oh, you know, how's the weight loss going as you're taking a bite? And I'm like, oh, it just came across so...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Yeah. But also one thing that they don't understand is that it was like two seasons, one where you're pregnant. And then they, I thought they just kind of continued on with the weight thing after that, because when you're pregnant, you had gestational diabetes. Yeah. And your doctor was like, it's a big concern. And you went in there and you gained it. And there she was like, you can't,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Yeah, it scared the hell out of me, too. And that's what I think people don't understand is that I was making these – I was making these comments and I was bringing up these concerns based off of being concerned. I was like, I'm concerned because she lists all those... I went to the appointment with you and she listed all those things that could possibly happen to the baby.
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Yeah, the baby could be bigger. All this stuff. And I'm like, what? So it freaked me out. So I felt like the way it was portrayed was that I was doing it in a... Like an aggressive, controlling, like... Like, you motherfucker. What the hell's wrong with that?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Yeah. I also feel like it comes down to, like, I'm concerned for your health. I just... So my intent was my concern for your health. My delivery did not... Wasn't very good. You know what I'm saying?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Dude, I don't know of any other guys out there, but it's so irritating, dude. I like to poke it. Because anyone else's wife could just, anytime, anything random, and she comes out with this finger trying to shove it up my ass, and I swear to God, I'm like, get out of there!
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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So I guess, but I feel like, I don't know. I just feel like that. That's something I see a lot. And I'm like, I take full accountability for my delivery. It was wrong. I was young. I was naive. I didn't know about postpartum depression. I didn't know about like, I guess my main thing was that I knew you didn't take it. No, I didn't.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And so if you would have said that... I also asked you to hold me accountable. You did. And they didn't put that on camera, obviously. Well, that wasn't filmed, though, either. Right. But... And I asked you, like, is this hurting you? Like, are you offended? And you said no.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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You're hanging out with friends and you're like, hey, right.
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And so I feel like you would have... And if you would have said, yeah, that really hurt my feelings, I would have been like, holy shit. Yeah, you would have felt like shit. I'm so sorry. Yeah, that wasn't my intent. Like, oh, my God. Like, I don't... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say that. But... Looking back at clips and the music they play and how they cut, I mean, I see people's perspective.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And I also feel like I trust you to tell me, hey, that was fucked up or, hey, that was wrong.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And I'd be like, oh, my God. So I don't know. I just feel like that was something that I see a lot, which I'll probably never let that down.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Okay. And they're going to still say that I called you a heifer. And that's, I mean, it is what it is. That's fine.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And I was literally answering the producer. She asked the question. I was answering her. I was like, why don't I know whoever? I mean, she asked me that question.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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So like what I would want or what I didn't, what I wouldn't want. So I was just answering the question of my truth. I guess, you know what I mean? But then there's also a scene that I forgot we filmed and it was like, we're eating dinner with your dad and his girlfriend at the time.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And I watch it back. I'm like, ugh. It was rough. That scene was, it was cringy. Yeah. It was bad because it was like the whole table was like, Well, yeah, and it's going on a 200-calorie diet and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And they aired my part speaking about how, oh, she used to eat so much, so little. Oh, right. You eat like a bird. And you said it first.
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Welcome you guys back to Kate and Ty Break It Down. We are on episode, don't even remember. Nope, don't recall. But we appreciate you guys listening and chiming in and we've gotten so much feedback. We really have.
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You were like, well, I used to eat so much little. And then I was like, I piggybacked off what you said and was like, yeah, she used to eat all the time and get really full. And they didn't air the part of you saying it first about you saying, well, I used to eat really not a lot at all and get full really fast. But that scene, I was like, ooh. God.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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So my face was just like, oh my God. Because that was probably the fifth or sixth conversation the producer wanted to have.
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That whole, the whole, those two seasons were just...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Well, I think a lot of it, when you add postpartum depression, was pretty blurry. Because I remember you were, like, on the couch a lot. And I remember being, like, the cameras were coming to film. And I remember feeling anxious. Because I'm like, oh, my God. You know, like, maybe we should go film in the kitchen or something. Because, you know, you were, like, down on the couch a lot or whatever.
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And so, like, I remember feeling anxious. Like, oh, my God. Like, I don't want to... I almost look like, yeah, no, no, I almost, I didn't want, I didn't want them to see you in that way. Like I was, I was so like worried about you that I was like, I don't want them to see her in this way. You're like, this is not my wife. Yeah. It's not her. This is not who she is.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Like, well, we were married at that point, but yeah. Yeah. But I didn't know about postpartum depression. So I didn't know that. I didn't either. I had no idea. I just didn't know what was going on. You know what I mean?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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We were very disconnected. You were very like couch, phone, bed connected.
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Let alone. You were literally like a robot. And I think people don't really people like, I think people look back at that. And a lot of the scenes that were air were us talking about certain stuff too late for your appointment. And I, and at that point I am. so naive with postpartum depression in general and also just frustrated that this is happening and not understanding why.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
And they said we could post the back of her head as long as you can't see her face.
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And so that's what we did. We never posted another pic that was not approved by them.
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Yeah. And I think that's what also when they mentioned to us about saying we don't pretty much we don't want to be on camera anymore. And we were like, that's fine. And the one, you know, boundary that they said was we don't want you repeating our conversations verbatim.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Word for word. Summarization was fine, but don't repeat what we say word for word. We said, okay, fine. They never said, stop talking about Carly. Stop talking about the adoption. Stop all that stuff. Keep our names out of your mouth. That never happened. They literally just said, don't post our word for word conversations or repeat the word for word conversations on camera. We didn't.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And so I feel like when people talk about these boundaries... that we've supposedly broken with them, I have a hard time figuring out where they are because what I think is interesting too, is that you are literally telling me what boundaries I was given as if like, it's almost like, okay, who makes a boundary? The person, right? And then who delivers that boundary?
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The person delivers it to me, not you. So you're telling me what the boundaries were. That's insane. Cause you didn't see our private conversations that we had.
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Off camera, not even in public at all. Just me and you and Brian and Teresa talking.
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Thank you. When did they release that information to you? Because you're going off of what you assume.
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And that's dangerous. And that's kind of why I feel like with this podcast, we can get into certain stuff. We can, you know, shine some more light, give some more context because I do believe context is super important. Especially when you're taking old clips that are edited down and putting them all together to fit your narrative or whatever it is you're trying to prove.
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So it's like, I think it's interesting when people are telling me what the boundaries are from a private conversation that I had with brand trees that we've never even shared. We've never shared. Yeah. So it's like, and also about communication, like you don't know how often we texted on a daily basis.
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You're assuming that we didn't talk a lot or you're assuming that we message every two months or you're assuming if it was me, I would only message maybe once, twice a year. Well, you don't know the normalcy of our communication. You don't know
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hey four plus four equals ten for you right fine like that's where I'm at in my life four plus four equals eight for me so you know like I'm yeah but I also think it's like like you said to just get I'm going to address it one time one last time and that's it I think it's important we can do that we're allowed to do that and I think it's
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
It gives clarification for people who are making all these assumptions. People on TikTok making these assumptions is dangerous.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
And I think it's hypocritical for them to go on these TikToks and say privacy. They want to be private. Stop talking about it. You're talking about it more than I am.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
You're making multiple videos talking about our situation.
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While simultaneously preaching against us doing it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
So I think that people should really kind of self-reflect a little bit. You're telling us certain things and you're making these videos with all these assumptions which none are verified. None are... I just think it's like it's crazy.
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I also feel like it's kind of a lose-lose. Like there's no winning because if we didn't reach out, people would say, you're an idiot. Why would you not fight for your daughter? And if we do reach out, they're saying, stop fighting for your daughter and be quiet and silent. You're hurting everybody. It's like, so I don't think there's a, there's no winning for birth parents in this situation.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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I think we just have to go off of what we know, which is like, okay, like you said, every adoptee we talked to said, I would want to know that you still tried.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Yeah. So it's like, I mean, and honestly, you know, you said in the text messages that you did, that wasn't normal text messages. You only started addressing Carly personally. Mm-hmm. on Teresa's phone after the fact of her saying, like, I'm not going to be responding anymore. And you said, well, you may not be responding to me. That's fine.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
But I made a promise to Carly to always reach out, give updates, pictures, letters, whatever. So that's what I'm doing. And like you said, you can choose to not show it to her at all. That's fine. And you can choose also not to talk to me at all. That's fine. But that's also separate from my promise I made to her.
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There's Always More To The Story
Yeah. And I feel like... But what do you feel like, though? Do you feel like... Is there anything specific that you were like, listen, I really want to, like... I think the number one thing to me that bugs me the most...
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And how I feel that she should, you know, the information she should know, whatever.
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And so I think people see the screenshots of like, or the, you know.
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So it's like, yeah, if you think two text messages a month is overboard or too much or. Whatever. That's your perception. That's valid. But like I said, your perception is based off of your perception. It's not based off of the normalcy and the track record of communication that we've always had with them. You don't know those specific details. So you can't really tell me that's overdoing it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
That's what I'm saying. When did Braintree tell you that, hey, we only text once every five months, so twice a month is too much. You know what I mean? You're going off of these things with... Honestly, I feel like what people don't understand is that it's dangerous. And you're making these assumptions and having people on the comments. And Carly could read these comments one day.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And I think people should just really just step back and think about that for a second. I'm only here speaking my truth as a birth parent. So that way, if she does come and look for information, there it is.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
And she has a truth. But she's not going to have the truth on top of all these assumptions and these speculations and none of the details, none of the information, the correct information. A lot of it's false. A lot of it's wrong. Yeah. So, like, the whole thing about it being five years. Mm-hmm.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
There has been the finalized paperwork for our open adoption agreement, which we have, which I don't know where it's at, but people are confused saying that the adoption was only for five years and that me and you should be grateful for anything above and beyond that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
And that is my thing is like, that is false. The paperwork that you're getting the information off of was from a not finalized form of our adoption agreement when Dawn gave us that at the table.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Yeah. So, and the whole five years thing was only about a picture that I wanted on her birthday, specifically by herself for the first five years. So that way,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Not the way. It's fine. I never argued about it. Whatever. I never complained because I was like, listen, I'm still getting pictures. I was happy about it. But the information that they're going off of that little clause in that piece of paper that they're zooming in from a TV show is not the finalized open adoption agreement. We have the finalized open adoption agreement.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Once a year. Annual. A-N-N-U-A-L. Annual visits. That is one visit per year until she's 18. Right. All of our signatures are on it. It's all in black and white. It's all there. But God forbid you keep going on your little screenshot of a TV show from 10 years ago and zooming in on the little clause on adoption paperwork that wasn't the final form.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
So you're making these TikToks and these damaging accusations based off of false information.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
And we did. Yeah. And you – and I honestly – I want everyone to understand that is okay. Birth mothers are allowed to change their mind once that baby comes into the world because everything before the whole nine months of being pregnant is all speculation, wondering, not knowing what it's going to be like and how you're going to feel. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
And so I think people don't understand that during the whole adoption process, they always say, well, once the baby's born – Things may be different. And they always said you could change your mind. And I believe that every woman has a right to change her mind, especially when it comes to being a mother for the rest of your life or not being a mother. That's a huge, lifelong, altering decision.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
So I think people don't understand that it's also not legally binding. You think this open adoption agreement is legally binding? It is not.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
You'd walk in and they would jump all over you immediately.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
I think it's interesting because people, like I said, people are looking at the situation 16 years down the line.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Okay, so you're like, oh, watch this old clip. Oh, my God, they're right. It's like, dude, you guys, first off, you didn't know the future, and second off, they were on crack. Literally. Okay? They're on crack and drunk and getting evicted and going to jail. Are you guys seriously going to tell us, oh, you should listen to your mom, you should listen to Butch and April? Right, I'm like, no.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Think about that for a second. You're telling me I should have listened to Butch and April 16 years ago.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Like, it is actually mind-blowing. And it's like, I get what people are saying. Like, oh, well, April was able to, you know, fish out Dawn or sense that adoption was wrong. But I'm going to let you guys know, her intention was not to save us from being screwed by adoption. Her intention was to have what she thought was hers and what she thought was right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
And what she wanted to be a grandma, wanted you to be a mom. It had no...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Yeah, and I think people are confused that, oh, they tried. No, their intention behind wanting us to keep Carly was not based off of because they thought we were going to be screwed by adoption. They could tell that adoption was a scam or whatever the case is. They did it because of selfish reasonings, and that's the truth.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Yo, don't judge me for the fedora, guys. It was a thing. I don't know.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Because one thing that people also don't realize is the day that we sign off our rights in court, They fought us in court. They literally stood in the back of that courtroom and screamed that they object and they want custody of her.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Did they get escorted? Yeah, because your mom was mad and my dad was mad and all this other stuff. And it's like, yeah, because they were on crack. We're not going to listen. And honestly, you're fighting for custody and you're getting evicted at the same time.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
And also people just don't, they just don't know what it was like in their house on the day to day.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
And the fact that you're saying, oh, you should listen to April and brought her back to that house.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
are you serious like you said we can't predict the future i can't predict the future right of course i mean i think people are saying oh you should have kept her you should have parented her because we're on this tv show for 15 years and it gave us all this financial freedom and all these resources that we never want to have all blah i would say if i could go back to that 16 year old and be as wise and know all the information that i know now i might have made a different decision but unfortunately nobody can do that you don't have a crystal ball you can't just go back in time so but yeah but for people to be like april but we're right i'm like huh
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Like, my mind, when I see that comment and all the likes on it, I'm like, are you guys for real, dude? You want us as 16-year-olds to listen to crackheads?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
That's insane, bro. Yeah, I just think it's interesting that we are even having to really go down this rabbit hole. But I think it's justified because, like I said, real people have... real consequences and things happen when you go on these videos and you make all these damaging speculations and accusations and you're fueling a fire that shouldn't even really be brewing.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
So you don't want the truth? No. Isn't that weird? So weird. I'm reaching out to you personally not to... I have no... You can still not like me. Yes, you can still not like me. I'm not even trying to change your opinion. What I'm trying to do is give you the accurate data and the facts so that way when you do make these videos, you're not spewing damaging accusations and speculations.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
You actually have all the data. Do you want the data to make better informed videos? And you go, no. I want to keep, I'm like, what? That's an answer, right? So you're like, okay, you're, you're literally, so you don't want, you don't want the data. You don't want the truth.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
I'm saying like, you know, I still think certain things I wouldn't do if I were you, blah, blah, blah. But I understand on a deeper level of what's going on. Thank you very much. That's all I wanted. I'm like, you know, I can't control people's opinions and what they do and what videos they make.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
But I definitely think if you're going to make the videos hate on me, I want you to have all the accurate data to do so.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Misinformation because it's damaging. We know how bad misinformation can harm stuff. I just feel like I think people should check their hypocrisy when it comes to making continuous videos with speculations
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
You would have literally asked Siri to spell it for you.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
You get hype without the E. H-Y? Yeah. H-Y-P.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
see why i don't know yeah anyway so yeah the videos people are making it's hypocritical to preach about privacy that oh you're breaking boundaries because you keep talking about the situation you keep talking about it publicly but you're literally making 10 times more videos than i've ever made you're talking about my life all the time public um that's hypocritical and i think you should do some introspection on that totally agree anything else
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
I know. But I was trying to think, like, hey, okay, our whole goal of the episode was to just kind of, like, go through what we're seeing right now, which is a lot of turmoil. People are very – and I also feel like these creators, once the algorithm kind of feeds that thing, now they found their niche, right? Ooh. All the other videos have 1,200 likes or 1,200 views.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
But this one video they made on their opinion about our adoption story got 24,000 views. So now what do they do? I hit the golden ticket. This is my – They must have done their views. Yeah. They're like, oh, my God, this is it. So if I keep talking about this subject, I'll keep gaining all this stuff. So it's like they found their little niche.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
I think what people are worried about, though, is the wording. It was like you said, like, oh, I didn't want to go against your decision, or I was afraid you were going to leave me if I came home from the hospital. It wasn't like, you know... So I get why people are, like, saying this. I understand it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Thank you. I mean, honestly, I just feel like I like that part. I like the little anonymous stuff. Yeah, I think it's... Because that stuff's like, I just... Then I get in the loopholes, and I want to know all the... You're like, I want to know all the details.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Yeah, people still want to hear us talk after all these years.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
It was like the wording. And I get, like, watching, I'm like, oh, yeah, I understand where you would get that perception because that's what was said. But it was more or less like I was afraid you were going to leave me eventually. I was afraid, you know what I mean? Not that I'm going to leave you because of if I don't do adoption. You know what I mean? It was more or less like.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
I guess it's one of those things, though, where you take it personal, right? How do you not take it personal?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
You know what I'm saying? Of course you would take it personal. Because then you're like, dude, I'm literally laying right here, bro.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
This never would have worked if we didn't communicate.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Yeah, because everyone has different preferences and what they like, what they don't like. And, you know, some people are just crazy and shit.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Some people aren't. It's vanilla. Tie me up. I'm not into that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Kick me in the face. I'm not really into that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
You know, it's like, dude, I, you know, choke me. It's like, I want to breathe, though.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
What do you consider vanilla, though? I don't even know what you consider vanilla anymore.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Like no BDSM, you ain't taking the whips out.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
I don't know what it is, but I don't want to be in pain.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
So that's where it comes down to. Some people are like, that's right. I was like, dude, wow. I mean, I get it. Some people are like. People have different preferences. How did that happen to you? Now I'm curious about your past. I'm like, wait, why do you want to be strapped to a board like the hog and whipped and cut and shit? And it turns you on.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Now I have so many questions about your past and your childhood that I'm like, what the fuck is happening?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
The one where they got married. The first kiss was at the altar. Dude.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Okay. I know. But I guess a part of it, I can see like, okay, you, you, it could be a beautiful. Right. Growing experience. You grow with it together. Yes. But y'all, I ain't marrying nobody if I don't know they can lay it down. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. We have to know. We have to know. You have to know.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Yeah. I mean, listen, we can't go back in time and say what would have happened, but I highly assume that we wouldn't have had the freedom to go to therapy at a young age. Everyone hated on us. Remember this? Yeah. When we were 17 and we were like, let's go to therapy. My mom was like, you're an idiot. I can't believe you're going to go to therapy. You're only 17.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
That's true. Think about that for a second. But honestly, yeah, because when we talk, I was going to say, you said you take some off. You would shrink it. It's good. But that also goes to pain, right? Yeah. No woman likes their cervix being slammed.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
I know, but, like, honestly, but see, like, girls have to communicate that to us guys because, you know, we grew up... Oh, I will punch a motherfucker.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
It goes to compatibility that you have to communicate. Yeah, you do. If you never would have told me you hurt me, then I never would have...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
That's what I'm saying. No, that's what I mean. It's a communicator. Maybe they like, like I said, getting strapped to a book.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Yeah, because remember there, we read that one on me where it was, if you could change something physical, they had to answer it. And you're like, I would just take an inch off.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
And I'm like, well, that's not what I was expecting. So what the fuck? But like I said, that brings up the point of like, you have to communicate. So that little, that lady needs to fucking communicate, bro.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Yeah, true. Yeah, right. Getting a therapist.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Yeah, true. That could be really romantic. Yeah, there you go. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Thank God. Because I'm like, yo, my whole life would be in shambles. I wouldn't know what the fuck's going on. Who am I? Who are you? Who am I? What is this?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
And that's what you're going to get used to, talking to us. Like, no, bro. We just, I don't know.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
What issues could you possibly have? And I'm like, well, I did just...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
I personally feel like people forget that I even had... Like emotions. Yeah, any attachment to it. They're like, oh, you wanted it. That's all you ever wanted from the beginning and blah, blah. And it's like they have no clue that me and you flip-flopped our decision. Both of us did. You wanted a parent. I was like, whoa. And then you wanted adoption. And I was like, maybe I want a parent.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Well, I just figured I didn't want, I feel like people already know so much about us. So I was like, oh, I want to get guests at first. So I wanted to like feel it out.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Because after you kind of... The first time that you...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
said you wanted a parent and i was like okay fine we'll figure this out me and mine wasn't documented that was not documented that was behind the scenes because they were they they left for like a couple weeks and i said they'll come back if anything happens because you're on labor or you're gonna be a labor watch later on yeah but um and so when that happened and you called me and said that we're you know i want to do this i'm like all right like i i buckled up i was like we're gonna go to salvation army mom i gotta get all this stuff what is your mom's
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
And she was like, okay, okay. If that's what she wants to do, if that's what we're doing, that's what we'll do. And I remember thinking in my head, like, all right, I'm going to go to Salvation Army and I got like 50 bucks. I'm going to try to find like a $5 this, a $10 that, you know?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
And so, but I feel like when that happened and the cameras didn't catch it, they didn't really see the back and forth and how hard it was to like be a birth dad and have to make this decision too. Because at the end of the day, it was like, I could have wanted...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
And then we're thinking like, they don't want to hear us talk. Just me and you. But they do.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
But I also noticed that the clip that they played that you're talking about on TikTok where we're on the hill talking, they didn't... play the whole clip where I asked later on during that same conversation, I talk about what I was afraid of. And it was like, we were literally just talking about our fears of if we decided to parent, which honestly, producers ask us that all the time.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Do you know what I'm saying? Remember we'd have situations, but how do you think this would be? Like, you know, if Carly was here. Yeah. So, and then what was that season four of the original? So, I mean, we were already kind of in the nitty gritty of team on world, but. Um, I think it's interesting that people would even like, cause you've even addressed this before and said that multiple times.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
And when she was also preaching us, like she wouldn't like the adoption. She wanted us to parent. We'll help you. We'll help you. And then I remember you calling me and you were saying like, She said she was going to help us, and we got in one little argument. It wasn't even that bad, you said. And she said, yeah, well, good luck. Who's going to buy you diapers? And I remember being like, oh, my.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
So you're not going to help us? Or you're only going to help us when it's convenient for you? Or you're going to hold it over my head or whatever? Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Whenever you call me and tell me, you're like, all right, never mind. Adoption's back on. I was like, oh, my God.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Okay. So part of me was like, because you obviously told me that after you said your mom wasn't going to buy us diapers or something like that. I remember thinking in my head like, damn it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
all right fine well we'll just you know i'll figure this out you know my mom will be there i'll get another job or whatever i was thinking of what i was going to do and then when you mentioned it i want to do adoption it's back on all the reasons so let's say the same because remember you mentioned to me well our pros and cons list that we made is still the same yeah nothing's changed we haven't gotten a bigger house my mom hasn't gotten more money i haven't so many things like nothing was changing right you know our parents were still using they were getting evicted so they're
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Still going through school. So like, I remember when you said that and I was like, all right, you're right. Adoption's right. But I feel like that two weeks that we both thought we were going to parent, I mean, yeah, I got excited. I got part of me was like accepting just the chaos. All right, this is my life. It's going to be chaotic.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Whatever it's going to be. But, you know, to say that I wasn't, you know, a little devastated when you called and said that would be a lie because I was. Right. And we talked about that. I mean, we have many times we were in the hospital even look at each other. We remember we didn't have to say nothing.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
We just knew we're both like, let's just run. Let's just run.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
So I feel like, yeah, people had the perception that I was just for this adoption 100% all the time. No negotiations, whatever. And I get watching the clip, it's like, oh, you said your decision. It's like, yeah, it was my decision. But one thing you said that I love so much was you said, you're just lucky I took your decision into consideration. So I don't have to. Not all girls do.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
And I was like... Boom. You know, that's that's the reality. You were gracious and nice enough to do that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
You could have. That's what I want everyone to understand, though, that you literally could have. Yeah, but you didn't.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
But I think just the wording was like, oh, it was your decision, which took away the fact that, you know, it wasn't your decision. It was all mine and whatever. So I feel like, you know, listen, you can go back and find multiple clips where we made mistakes or said things that were, you know, not the best or paint us in a different light. That's fine. We were on TV for 16 years.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Which I also noticed a lot of people commenting, saying like, where's the full video? I want to watch it. I'm like, dude, I didn't realize. I didn't realize people really want to watch. Mm-hmm. A podcast recording versus just listening to it from audio. So we're learning. We're still learning, guys.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
I guarantee you're going to find something, multiple things that just don't sit right with you.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Like, I think, honestly, a lot of it, the mistakes were, like, just from being naive. Like, honestly, I think back about a lot of the stuff that has to do with the very first time that we got in trouble with Brandon and Teresa, about posting the thing about Carly.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
The very first boundary that I ever broke, the first and last one, in my opinion, was that one picture that I posted on that slideshow after they went on the magazine cover and after they did the front of the magazine cover and after they did the Dr. Drew show thing.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
Yeah, it was on the fan page. I don't know how many... I mean, still, back then, it was, like, Instagram wasn't really a thing, so it was, like, I think Facebook fan pages were more, like, popular or something back then. But, yeah, it was on that fan page, and I did it without even thinking because... all that stuff happened. Dr. Drew magazine life, you know, whole magazine cover.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
And I think what's interesting is they play this clip that was played on TV where we already got in trouble off camera. We already got called. We already got in trouble. So when we had the conversation on camera about me posting that video, it was past tense. It already happened. So you're super emotional. You're pregnant and you're talking to me, telling me,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
you know, they're going to find out this is bad. You know what I mean? And it, and it comes across very, like, I'm very, uh, like, just like, screw everybody. I'm doing it. And to be honest with you, that was true when it first happened. Uh, and I, those are one, that's one example where I feel like,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
There's Always More To The Story
young and naive and i'm just just being arrogant and i take full accountability for being arrogant and just just annoyed and uh feeling inferior and just all those things and like that's that's an honest mistake and i think people forget that we actually um you know fix that mistake quote unquote when we went and had the conversation with them and we talked about it all and we got a lot of that conversation on further i would ask for permission of what pictures i could post
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
We're here. We made it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So they had... Oh, wow. That's way different than... Way different than ours.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. Right. Right. Or kind of condone it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
did you feel a disconnect like you had felt some kind of huge disconnect from oh here i am in my real life in my real house with my husband and my child and my real family and then i gotta do this weird i mean you had to have felt a tug of war and also i feel like it would make you feel like not mentally yeah like oh i was not identity like you know yeah like it would mess with your mental like health i feel like then you start questioning everything like what am i really what do i really want to do what what
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, and even that, though, I don't understand really what happened or what... Were you involved in all that? Or were you not talking to them?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Was that covered on camera though? Like the divorce and all that kind of stuff?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Okay, okay, got it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
More controversial. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Or the difficult things. Hope you had fun on your ski vacation that you filmed. And now I got to come here and tell you that my whole life's... I could see where... Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Right. I'm totally switched.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And the production wanted you, obviously, to pretend that you were still wanting the divorce and stuff. Oh, for sure. Yeah, that is... So, okay, so you and your husband got divorced, but did you think the show had a role to play in that at all?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Okay. But how did all that start? Okay, take me back, because I don't know how, like, where... Whatever you feel comfortable with. Yeah, obviously. But, like, you know, Christy knows best. How did that even happen?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Really?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And my investment's not going to pay off.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I get that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So did your husband support the podcast?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, wow. Okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So he did, he felt like it was not a good idea for you to keep doing the show.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. And it almost sounds like, it almost sounds like unnecessary, like, like almost like tug of war. Like your family wants you to be this certain thing and you're like, okay, I'll do it, but I'm not, but I will. Cause you know, it's like, how do you even know or be able to differentiate what's
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
authentic to me and what's not it almost would to me it almost thought it'd create some kind of identity issue like i don't even know i did have that yeah like what's real who am i what what do i really want because now i'm all confused and i you got everything coming in different ears like that's got to be like stressful well i wanted to fit into both places and i think just a child coming from
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
That is horrible.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Well, did you ever mention to your dad or anyone like, hey, this is feeling really not good for me?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Wow. I wonder what there were. All your other siblings who were involved in the show, obviously, did you ever tell any of them?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So, like, okay, sex tape scandal, what does that mean? Like, what, like, because that's different for a lot of people. Like, Farrah tried saying it was, she was in ahead of sex tape scandal.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, I'm like, no, this is a totally, like, produced porn, so what is this?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, so you've already filed. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, wow. Okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I've never even heard of an informational report before.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
It's kind of like a paper trail.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, my God.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Wow. This is your ex best friend.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
But you're saying doggy cam.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, wow.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
No, the math ain't mapping on that one.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
What do you reconcile the guy back together?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, my. Oh, my God. All right. The last thing you need. This is a little.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Wow.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, huge red flag.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Right. Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
No, I'd be like, no, everyone shut up. We're done. We're done with all this.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. This is actually real, our real life to go behind and film ourselves, how we feel, what just happened. But I feel like your experience was like,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Toxic, manipulative, just like I don't even know how you could have survived more than one season because that sounds like, oh my – and then especially having your whole family on top of it almost pressuring you to keep doing it. Like that's like – I'm sad that you had that. I wish the production would have been – Different. Because what channel was it on? USA. Okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
God, it's like, what is going on?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So you said this ex best friend, obviously you're not friends with this person.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Because my whole thing is that when you filed that report, how were you even aware to file the report?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
No, but how did you even know to do that? Who did?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Wow.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
But how did you get a word that there was a possible tape? How did that even happen?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So how did you even know to file the report?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
He did?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And your brother never told you?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I would pretty much contact my sister if someone was like, hey, I gotta, oh, hey sis, I don't even talk to you in a minute, but holy shit. Like your titties are on the video. Your friend just wrote. Right. I'm like, okay, I'm mind blown that the fact that you are literally surrounded by betrayal.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Like, I'm like, wow. That's all it sounds like to me. It does. Like, everyone that was supposed to be on your side... And protect you and support you, yeah. Like, what the fuck?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, wow.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Holy shit.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. And you're only six years old when that first happened. So then you're witnessing... this divide and you're almost too young to even understand fully what the hell is happening.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And what, so was, was, um, was your mom involved at all with the show at all?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Okay. She wasn't involved at all.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Wow. And how, and how do you feel like your relationship with her going through all this scandals and all that stuff? How did, how did you feel supported by her?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
How old was he when this happened? You were six? Five. Okay, he was five. So he's also a little younger. But my thing is, okay, so your mom let full custody happen with your dad? Like there was no custody battle?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, there was. Okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Wow.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And you never asked your mom after all this happened, like, Hey, what really happened? Like, why did we not, why did you not get custody? Why did you not, I mean, you know, fight more or come see me more. Did I ever get like a dress between you and her?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. I mean, especially because we were, I mean, we were obviously surrounded by, you know, just, yeah, chaos and evictions and drugs and all that kind of stuff. But it sounds like you growing up, your family was pretty stable. Like as far as financially, no one was alcoholics. There was no domestic violence or anything. So it's just kind of sounds like,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I mean, I'm just kind of confused on on where your mom's role in in all this was when all this is going on.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
OK.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
They paid for the condo, but didn't pay for school.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Well, right, because your brother is still actively – is he still, like, having issues or –
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
That's weird.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And all those things that you actually like went through, like were you close with your stepmom at that point through all that stuff or?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Why is he setting boundaries around his children?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And it creates, it actually maintains a disconnect at all times. It almost, it's like, you know, kids, obviously no kid likes to be punished or disciplined, but on the other side of that, the discipline, you know, is coming from care.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And so it's like, it would have been beneficial for you because you would have felt like, you know, I know, I don't, no one likes being punished, obviously, but like, you have known you're, you care about me. That's why you want to discipline me and make sure you correct me or whatever. And the fact that you had to just sit there and like, well, yeah, wait for your dad or whatever.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
That's like, that's also torture. Yeah. Yeah. I got to wait for my inevitable, you know, ass beaten or whatever. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Okay. And then so, okay. So the other ones are, okay, got it. All right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. And you consider that's your mom. Because I don't want to get language.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, really?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, really? Elaborate on that. Okay, so you waited the whole time until 19 and you asked her to adopt you?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, that's right. So disgusting. That's a long time ago.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Because when you did the paper, it didn't really change anything.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
But so the paper, you even wanting and having the desire to do that, you know, get that paperwork done, obviously shows that you yearn for this to all feel. Belonging. Yeah, belonging and to be connected.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So, I mean, was your dad kind of aware that you felt any disconnect or, you know, like just a difference from the other kids?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So you literally walked around as a child with this inside the whole time.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Well, it's that self-betrayal. And I think when you live so many years... you know, self-betraying yourself, no matter, no wonder you end up getting older and like almost just having this identity. Like, I don't even know.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. It's an identity crisis. I don't know who I am because I spent so much time self-betraying in order to maintain this, you know, facade of I'm okay and everything's fine. Don't worry about me. But it's like, that's heavy. That's heavy stuff to carry around as a kid.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Isn't it weird how you become a mom and it's like a parent?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Actually, I feel like we experience it kind of, we don't know when the next bomb's going to drop because they get to certain ages. And then you get like this feeling of like you get either flashbacks or you get a little bit of PTSD or a little bit of like, oh, my God, like I got to like do this and figure and save this. But it's like, no, it's not an issue. This is a you thing.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Like, but it brings up a lot of stuff from when you were a kid raising your own kids. Yeah. And then also it's hard to like. I mean, there's a period of time when you have your own children that you kind of get a little mad at your parents for a minute. It's like, dang, now I know what this feels like. And you let this happen when I was that age. Like, how the hell did you do that?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Because the love I have for this kid is how did you even how are you able to do that? And it kind of your situation reminds you a little bit of your dad being in Florida. And you were saying stuff like, you know, he knew you're at home with your mom dealing with all that stuff. And I wondered if your mom.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
ever knew what was going on with, you know, with you at home if she never, like, obviously... I think she did.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. So that's kind of interesting that...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
It's mind-blowing, isn't it? Because you're a parent. You're like, dude, mom, how did you do that?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, because we always talk about there are certain things that her dad moved to Florida and started his whole family all over again. And she was left with her mom. And it was like, how do you even like... I even asked her when we were getting to know each other. I was like, did your dad ever send you Christmas gifts? And she's like, no. And I'm like, that's so weird that you can just like...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
just close off and then jump over here and then forget that it ever happened. But it's like, give a whole, a whole damn child. How does it somewhere?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Like it's insane.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
It's hard to sympathize if I can't wrap my head around it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I know. What do you just go crazy?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
It's one of those things too, where it's like, did you even really, did you have that yearning for your mom?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Which, again, sounds like self-betrayal. You're kind of like, okay, I don't want to ruffle any – this sounds great. All right, Dad, you got it. We'll continue to do all this. But did your dad ever – do you think your dad ever tried to bridge the gap? I do. Okay. So he tried to get you and your mom to be involved with each other?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
They're a wild little kid. One time they had to think about.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So you're saying it did once affect you. I mean, so when did you start going to therapy?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Wow. Okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Because you were actually generally tired.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I felt like that sounds... It was me. To a T. Kate explained it in a way that I felt like I didn't really understand... depression in her looks different than it does in me. And so when I was like, how could you be so tired and sleep all the time? And it's like one of those things where it's like, I had to get educated on like what depression actually looks like.
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Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, so he actually recognized it. He, he was watching this and witnessing it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. And I didn't even know how to, you don't know how to see. You don't know how to bring it up as a spouse.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And I also don't want to like... It's a touchy, sensitive thing. And it's like, you're also a mom and I don't know... And you're a new mom, so it's exhausting. And I don't know if it's just that. And so you don't even know how to approach it because you don't want to hurt their feelings. But do you feel like... When he brought it up to you, did you kind of like deny it?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Did you like, what are you talking about?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, it was before COVID.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, I imagine the life that you had, you've had anxiety. Because I think even being a little kid and self-betraying, in my opinion, looks like anxiety for kids. Yeah, because we're little. And the kids don't even know that they're having anxiety, right? But they're just kind of trying to survive.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And I almost feel like with your story so far, it just sounds like you were almost forced on both sides to just kind of always...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
be robotic and not like engage in what you're really feeling it was more or less emotionally monitoring making sure making sure we're good we're good even it's a lot when you talk about getting up and taking your kid to school and kind of putting on this i'm a happy mom everything's great and then you go back to your cave and you like you know what i mean be the real exactly right yeah like that's exhausting and i almost and then i didn't want like people
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Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Like why did they not get along?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. Really? So this is actually new, like revelation for you. Like it's, that's, that's huge.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Well, it's a way of just making sure you're being proactive about things because that sounds a lot like you when you're like, I'm like, what are you doing? You're like, I'm having a therapy session. I'm like, oh, well, why? Well, I feel a little weird. Something's off today. I feel something creeping in.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And it sounds like obviously when you're more self-aware, you can be more proactive and hopefully it kind of minimizes that time. So you feel it creeping in. It doesn't fully take hold, but you just jump on it right when you feel it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, but it is really hard when you're the person watching. It's like you don't want to...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
That is insane. Yeah. And so it took your ex-husband to be like, hey, something's off.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
or with your parents yeah in the reality show they would have what if they could have just kept playing well listen I firmly believe in divine timing like you can always timing is always on our side even when we feel the complete opposite and so maybe that was the reason why you guys are kind of rekindled got together for that little moment and then for that to come to fruition because honestly like you know now mental health is it's a work in progress constantly you got to constantly be checking in on yourself being self-aware I mean it's it's a job in itself so
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yes.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
But we're huge advocates for therapy. I mean, I don't care if you're the happiest person on the planet. There's always something to gain from it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, we actually did both. We did separate and then we did together when we went through all of our shit and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Is that kind of what you felt like? Okay, so when you say businessman, real estate, what was he?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And do you think people would be.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And people would not be committing suicide if that was the case. So there's a huge thing.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Well, that's why I want to applaud both you women because that's what you're doing right now. You guys are just openly talking about having struggles with mental health on top of being moms and wives. That's huge. And 10 years ago, I feel like no one would accept this. They'd be criticizing the hell out of it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
You know what I mean? But now it's getting a spotlight that I think it's deserved for a long time. So I'm glad.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Well, they're like, if you go to therapy, you're already, you're too fucked up.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. It's like, yeah. Or you're such a stigma cause. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I know that, but like break it down. Yeah. Instagram, Tik TOK, all that good stuff.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So how, how was life? Like how's everything going?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Right, what the fuck's happening?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Who's he telling this?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, wow. Really?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
What was that? Why?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
How did that feel for you though? To have your own dad say, Hey, like pretty much hide who you are. Don't like that. I mean, you don't must feel like, what did you feel like?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Okay. Okay. You're like, fuck this.
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Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Like you got in a fight about it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And why is that?
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Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
How many child, how many children, like all siblings?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Dang. Okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
They were like... If you don't do it, we're all going to be screwed. Yeah. Wow, that is... So you're manipulated for sure.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
How old were the three? So they're younger.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
That's crazy.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Wow. Okay. So then, and so the, cause I never watched the show ever. So the show just follows your whole family, your siblings and everything. Uh, so did they get involved in your marriage? Like when did that, did they, like, how did they announce it? Hey, and now I'm married and I'm actually having a kid.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Right. Because it's freedom. I have freedom to control my story. Because like you said, I mean, obviously, I don't think people really realize who are not involved in reality TV that like I could say one thing. And then if these higher up producers don't really want to go with that route of the story.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. then they will. And then you're kind of at the mercy of whatever's ends up on TV. Cause it's not like we get to watch each episode and, and kind of say, yeah, that's cool. That's like, we don't get any say so in what's air on TV. So we don't have to like, just kind of throw our hands up.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
You have more creative control, which is really, trust me, we had creative control.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Things would be a lot different with Team Island. We had a little bit more.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, I also feel like, though, because so since, so you were actually on this show. You said Kindergarten, so you had to have been on it for, what, four years?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Okay, and was your husband involved in that?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, because to be honest, we don't really know anything about anything. I know Chris Lee knows best. I know all that stuff, but as far as the details, I don't know anything.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Authentic.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Didn't feel you're not aligned. I mean, you're not aligned with reality in that point. Cause you're just kind of doing a job.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
My real family, which makes it even weirder because I'm assuming your other siblings are all involved in this too. So are you close with them? Are you like, you're not at all. Are you serious? Strange from all your siblings.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Well, no, she ignored... She told Dawn, we haven't answered that question, but you're forbidden to tell Tyler and Caitlin what that answer is. And so my thing is, is that, listen, you... If it was Carly and you're the parent... You should advocate for your child and tell us, hey, you're hurting my kid. Please stop. Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
So the fact that you're not willing to do that means who are you prioritizing here? Why are you not advocating for this child and saying, hey – because if one of our kids – if someone is like – I don't care who it is. You're hurting my kid. Stop doing it. Yeah, and this is why you're hurting my kid. Yeah, I have an answer for you, but you're not going to get it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
It's – the power dynamic is weird and doesn't make any sense in – I don't think that you withholding that information from us, which would help and benefit everything moving forward. All I can do is communicate and say, hey, this is what's going on. It would eliminate all this. So I'm confused on why that's not happening. And I just feel like you have the opportunity to advocate for that child.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
And also, you know, I feel like we you agreed on this open adoption. You agreed on all these things.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
I mean as far as – That means, like, they allow – we asked, can we post pictures? And they said, only the back of her head.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
If you can't see her face, we're fine with it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
So that's what we did. And I think people get really confused about – you keep – they keep saying, oh, well, you keep breaking the boundaries with brand treats. You keep disrespecting what their wishes are. And it's like, well, it happened one time where – when we were, what, 17, 18 years old? Yeah, way in the way because –
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Just the back of her head. Just the back of her head.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Everybody does. Everybody does. No, yeah, especially on TikTok. I mean, people got a lot of opinions on Teen Mom. I feel like, yes. Because TikTok wasn't around when Teen Mom first started.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
They did sign up for that. I will defend you guys with that. I will defend that. And they also agreed on the whole thing about, yeah, MTV, you can show the back of her head, and we're going to get compensated for it. Only if you compensate us.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
So they financially benefited from this as well. Oh, yeah, hugely, which is why I feel – that it's hypocritical, and I don't understand your moral, if it's a really moral standpoint that you're taking.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Yeah, but it's not because you literally went on the magazine when she was five and put her face out there. All over the cover of the magazine. And that was fine, and that was okay, and I really wish we had that article because in that article, that magazine, it says we are so blessed with the open adoption. We love that we can have contact with them.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
We love it for our kids, and we're going to continue to do all that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
and so yeah and things like that and then you know fast forward when we would post only approved pics like she said uh and then she got upset because we posted this last visit we had i don't know if you see when was the last one it was two years ago that's the last time you saw her yeah yeah and i posted a picture on my instagram it was like all of us walking yes yep i did see that and then tyler posted one where it was him car yeah nova and it was the back of them
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
No. MySpace was still around. Because we're around the same age. So now that TikTok's here, it's like, now people are going back, I feel like, and watching from the beginning. And now we have a whole new, like, almost new generation of watchers that are, like, didn't know anything. And now they're all getting...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Because it's not an exclusive picture. Because now it's not an exclusive. Because we did it first.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Yeah. Well, and my thing is that like – and we have stayed silent on all those little details up until now because now we literally have nothing to lose.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
And if it made the adoption look really good, they were going to do it. But if you express your feelings or anything that was negative about it, it was like, you can't do that. No, now it's bad. Now we're mad. Yeah. It's just a weird, it's a weird power dynamic. And it feels like for so long we had to be silent because like you said, I don't want to ruffle feathers. I'm not in control.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
So we have to kind of be like, okay, like, all right, because I don't want you to take her away. So we didn't speak on a lot of things that happened behind closed doors because that's priority number one is to be able to see her and have access to her. So now that access is taken away, it's like, well, then I mean. You guys don't have anything left to lose at this point.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
opinions so i mean you got a lot to say yeah but yeah i thought it was interesting though because i was like wow like your perception of it is that we you know like talking about carly or our adoption story was you were like not a good you don't think it's a good idea to do it mm-hmm
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
And that's pretty much the main fear that we believe is driving everything.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
And so advocate for them, though.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
They raised her. Yeah, they raised her.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
So they deserve that advocacy in our opinion. Yes. And we will always do that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
But I think we take accountability for those things. We always try to put ourselves in their shoes. That's why we did say silent for so long. I don't want to... I'm trying to understand your perception as her parents, and I get why all these things are – you have all these fears and stuff.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
But I just feel like for you as a parent to allow your insecurity and this fear to trump the best interests of her doesn't make sense to me. And that's also not what we wanted and what we agreed upon 15 years ago. Like it's – We always were supposed to be a team for her, and so when we ask you, is anything we're doing harming her?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Is anything that we're talking about affecting her, or are these visits affecting her?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Yeah, but they don't even want to talk to you. No. So it's hard to like do anything or mend anything when you don't – when you just cut off communication.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
That's what we know of, but I think it's interesting that you bring that up because if I would have said, my only regret is I wish I would have parented, That is literally the same thing as saying I wish she had different parents because I would be – we would be her parents. There's no difference in me saying – and that would have been accepted by TikTok people and everyone.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
That would have been fine if I was like, oh, my biggest regret is I wish I would have parented her. And everyone would have been like, oh, wow, yeah, of course. But the fact that I said I regret – and wish I would have picked different parents for her, everyone freaked out, and it was like... I mean, I was shook. I didn't know what the hell to say. I was like, oh.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
But would you have been shook if I said I wish I would have parented her instead?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
And also the fact that we didn't get to spend a lot of time with them. We only met them one time and then we met them again when she was giving birth. So it's like, I think for sure.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
I didn't find that out till way later in life, which we thought was really weird. But we also were like, Oh, that's why we don't know their last name for years. That's why we don't know their address. That's why we can't have their phone number for years. Like, because at first we were like,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Which that's why I want to bring up to the point that like there were only – there was four people involved in this agreement and two of them were children and two of them were adults. And so when you find out that you originally wanted closed, why did you not just say we're not a good fit? We want to open. Why didn't Dawn say that? Yeah. Well, she mentioned to them.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
She said, hey, they want to open. Why didn't she tell you guys that? We don't know.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
I think it's because the whole goal is to get a baby. It's messed up. It is. And that's why the industry needs to kind of – we need adoption reform, period, in all branches of it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Well, and also because we're kids, and we're trusting the adults around us to try to like – Okay, I'm going to listen to you. I don't know anything about this, and you do, and you're a grown-up, and I'm not. And so we're going to kind of trust your whole – trust your word, and we're going to go with that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
But it's like when we – afterwards, all these things unfolded, and we also felt like I think we were trying to – Kind of like heal about what's going on so we didn't push back at all because we're like, we never did this before. I don't know how to navigate all this or whatever. Yeah, because you don't even know what the questions to ask.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Yeah, and I also feel like if you were an adult and you knew what you wanted, I think your responsibility should have been, this isn't a good fit for us. We want clothes. The fact that you shifted your desires to get the baby is –
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
selfish to me yeah i because i feel like that automatically kind of shows that you weren't really planning on you know doing what we agreed upon right away that's what it felt like at least yeah i mean that's what it felt like when we found all of this out yeah and for dawn to not you know tell you guys that is disappointing
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
The whole adoption thing is just crazy. It's insane. The fact that this is such a unique story and it's been shown on TV and people have... Every journey is not the same at all.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
You're putting it way out there. Dang, okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Yeah, because my whole thing is that like – and if – like your moral ground can't be shaky. It's got to be firm. And I feel like their moral ground – Like the line is always moving with them. And so it's weird. It's like, okay, if your concern is for her safety or her privacy, then why are you agreeing to get paid for a photo of the back of her head? And what is the point? That's crazy to me.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Why does the moral ground keep moving? I don't know. It's just – it's one of those things where it's like for years, those things would be happening behind closed doors, and obviously we were just kind of like don't want to shake the basket at all. So we're like, oh, we're not going to say anything. But at this point, it's like –
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
I think it's only fair that the full scope of the story gets put out there. And for the sake of if Carly is the one not wanting this disconnect, if she's the one that actually wants to have access to communicate with us and they're not allowing that, then this is all I have to advocate for her as her birth parent to get this information out to her.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Yeah, and I don't know what they're telling her. So it's just a whole thing of like all the years we've tried to like – Get them on the phone, and they wouldn't – it was like we would have to wait weeks, and then we'd get a response, and it's very like – it almost sounds like a prompt, like a scripted response, and we're over here like – Like an AI kind of thing.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
We're like, dude, you're not giving a presidential speech. We just want to talk. Right, right. And so then we used to kind of like be in denial or in their defense, be like, oh, well, they're Southern, and we're Midwest, and maybe – I think we were in the fog.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
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Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Yeah, that's what you said. And so I want you to elaborate on why you believe that is.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Because I think in this regard, it's like, okay, fine. And everyone's – it's funny because people are like, respect them, respect them. Okay, I respect them. I won't sign gifts.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
But who's that harming? I'm making sure Brian and Teresa are good.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Which, honestly, doesn't that kind of prove the point of the intention of doing this? Because people are still like, well, just get a lawyer. It's like, you guys don't even know how adoption works. There's nothing legally binding at all. It's a verbal agreement with this adoption agency, and that's it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
And I think it's interesting because people will bring up the contract that we signed at 16 that said the first five years or something like that. But... Does precedence not matter? I know you said for the first five years, but you continued to have this pattern in ritual and tradition. And so it's like people are like, well, go back to the contract. It's like, what?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Guys, they are the ones that didn't – it changed. It changed. Yeah, they changed that. Which we always say we're really thankful that the fact that – It's a double edged sword, right? We're glad that you want to close and you chose to kind of vulnerably open it up more than you ever wanted to.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
But at the same time, like it's just doesn't make any sense that now you take it away without really a good enough reason.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Right. You know, I watch time our kids and they talk. So it's like, yeah, just cut it all off and pretend nothing happened.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
And that's funny. Oh, you're talking about the clip that we had. Yeah, when we had the conversation. Yes. I think it's really interesting to bring that up because we don't watch the show and we don't really –
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Yeah. But I have gotten clips from that. People have sent it to me. Yeah, it's circulated. And I think if you pay attention to her demeanor and her – She's spicy. And her delivery. She is, yeah. And her respect or empathy, it's like it's – that is what we have dealt with the last 15 years. It's kind of like when I'm expressing a vulnerability, you're like – Like, it's like a, you know what I mean?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Yeah, it's all it is. No, it comes across really like.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
But she doesn't like when, you know, I don't think she wants to be kind of painted in that light, so.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
So I guess we're the ones that get in trouble for that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
But I also feel like what a missed opportunity. You're an adoptive parent. You could have really helped the community in adoption. You could have really been a voice for adoptive parents. You could have taken this opportunity and really – Just put a different light on it. But you didn't. And you're okay with it sometimes and not okay with it other times. Yeah, it's inconsistent.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Now we're in trouble. And we were able to say the word sisters for years. And now we're not allowed to say that word because you don't like it. And it's just...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
So was that the cherry on top? I have no idea. I'm not – I don't know.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
No, I asked Dawn. I was like, is there anything that I've done online? Okay. Any new things that I've done? Like, you know, I didn't outright say it, but... Yeah, yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
I shut it down. I said just because that's a good point. Okay, I get it. We live a very different lifestyle than they do. And I think that's okay to have different morals and ethics and what's good and what's not. And so even if that was the case, fine, take it down. We took it down. Shut it down. Shut it down.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
But you acknowledge you were wrong. And also, I think, is it not safe that things change? Opinions change. People evolve. Things that were taboo 10 years ago are not taboo now. We have more information on it. And so I think...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
people should not be so concrete like oh my god it's like no no wait we are allowed to shift our values are allowed to shift and change and move with new information and new data and that's what's happening so i feel like all i can do is say uh i'm sorry for the way that she uh was treated yeah um am i do i feel she's very not a nice person Right, you can dislike her for a couple other things.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
And I think people get it confused that that's why she was fired, and it wasn't. She used Teen Mom in the title. It was a whole produced...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
film versus yeah a paid paywall 18 and older website which is blocked by you know so yeah there's a difference there's a difference i'm not saying that like it justifies anything but you've gotten a bunch of hate for it i mean no i mean there's porn stars there's sex well it's because she said it was a home video like yeah and it wasn't yeah that was our production like don't let me tell you so i say like don't lie just just to say yeah nobody cares yep i did it
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Yeah I'm on team I want to capitalize on my shit And this is how I did it Yeah I'm like girl Yeah I want to follow Kim K's thing And you did that It's fine I think the approach was really weird Because you're like Trying to pretend It's just Yeah there is a little bit of that Where it's like I would apologize to Farrah And tell her that you know I don't think she'd really hear it No I mean not But you know But we do She might hear that now Yeah she might Maybe I don't know I'm not really sure But I guess It's all I can do right Right Take accountability Okay yep Yep we took the only Fans down
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Which is the main thing. The adoptees need some kind of platform.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Just in case if that was a thing. Yeah, if that wasn't what it was. I think it's really clear, though. Do I agree that that is not morally correct? It's like, no, I have – we have freedom and everyone does it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Right. But I think it's one of those things where it's like we're allowed to live different lives and have different –
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
I have a question. Do you believe that other people on the cast manipulate to get sympathy or to recruit people to get on their sides? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Because I feel like, because I feel like, so where do we cross the line with sharing our story on a reality TV show as people or then turns into manipulation for sympathy? You asked, where'd you cross the line? Where's the line?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
no not really I think it's empowering and it's freedom and that's what it is and I think anyone Pamela Anderson she's allowed to have kids just because she did her thing doesn't mean she's not allowed to be a parent I think people the backlash is like you have children it's like well yeah and how do you get children You have sex. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
And, you know, how do you like, you know, and eventually those children are going to be adults and do the same fucking thing.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
And what's the difference between a model on a billboard in Times Square or a bathing suit guy in a bathing suit at the beach? Like your children. So it's like it's it's I think it brings up an interesting topic.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
And my morals, they have changed. Yeah, my beliefs have changed. Yeah, I have more understanding or whatever the case is. Yeah, I mean, so this whole thing is just messy.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
And it's gotten to a point where it's like I have, I only have control of what I have control of, which is us sharing our story. And so that's what we're going to do. And I feel like if people are going to go online and have strong opinions, just, I want you to have all the information. And so that's the whole, the whole, the whole goal.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
I really, I mean, um, it's not our job to protect brand trees. And I think people even kind of deem that as controversial, but when you know their operation, how they've handled this for the 15 years, it's like it's, it's hypocritical to, to think that they're, you know, we're not protecting them. They're not even doing the things that they said publicly. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
So it's, it's just, the whole thing is, it's just messy.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
You said you're the child of an addict. You're an addict yourself. We talked about this on Instagram, which I commend your sobriety. I think it's amazing and great. You got me Googling. I think that's really great. I wonder if that is why your opinion was so strong about... They're manipulating for sympathy.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
And I was like, oh, it's kind of interesting because I wonder if you are almost saying that because you've done that. You spot it. You got it. You've done that as an addict.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Yeah, but I get your perception. I just feel like, you know, that's why I asked about the whole thing of where's the line of me sharing my story versus now manipulating for sympathy. It's kind of a, you know what I mean?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Where's the line of like, Oh, I'm just, you know, a reality TV content person, you know, whatever that it's sharing my story have been doing it for 15 years. Where's the line cross from just sharing our story, being vulnerable, honest to manipulation to get sympathy or recruit people to be on our side. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
I was going to say too because I wonder if now with that understanding, do you think that some of your opinions on other reality TV or anyone that you talk about pop culture-wise – You should try to just, I mean, as much as you can, try to dig into that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
But I also feel like making the decision of placing your child for adoption, I think it should be like really talked about that. That should be the last resort. The first resort you should have is support, resources, being a young child in a crisis situation. And adoption should be the very last thing that you look at as an option. There are options. There are grants.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
There are foundations that can help you. So I feel like –
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Yeah, it was pretty much... We were pretty much told that the best thing for you to do is let go and do this sacrifice for her. And so, of course, we were like, okay. And like I said, we have adults telling us this thing. So we don't have adults saying, hey, you know, there's someone who will help you get an apartment and there's someone who will get you a crib and...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Yeah. Yeah, you don't know. I don't even think you watched the live that we did.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
And there were times when we were going through the adoption where it was told to us like, well, what's best for her? Are you going to take her back to your bedroom and have a crib in your bedroom with your alcoholic and drug addict parents? And we were like, oh my god. So in a way, it's like they make you – it makes you feel like –
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
not doing the adoption is wrong, and you're a bad parent already, and you haven't even birthed this child out in the world yet.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
And learn about adoption trauma and what that means because all adoptees inevitably face it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
I can see it, yeah, in her face and stuff.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
So we can't, I don't even know. You've never watched it. We only watched it once when we were young. I can understand. We never watched it ever again. So I can only imagine what it's like after knowing everything. Now I'm going back and watching. It's probably a whole different.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
It's hard to watch. I mean, it's hard for me to watch. Well, yes. Now, you know, you're right. Team. I'm a historian. So now you're going back. You know, it's like, it's wild. Yeah. It gives a different.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
10 times worse. Because now they're all attacking you. And it's like, it was horrible.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Well, hopefully now – and you have a platform too.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Yeah, because the whole goal is not to persuade you differently. No. No, I get it. I just wanted to hear opposing viewpoints and then obviously the information.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
I mean addiction. I really want to have you back on. I would love that. I would love to have you back on and kind of dive deeper into that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Thanks for coming on Kate and Ty Break It Down. Thank you.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Yeah. And where can we, where can everybody like, where can they find you? What's your Jordy Cray on all social media? Awesome. Perfect. Great.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Yeah. Yeah, it happened really fast. I just messaged you and was like, hey, don't go live. And you're like, yeah, give me 15 minutes.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
So it's not really a shocker. It's not nothing new.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
I was like, oh, my God, I'm not prepared.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
And she also said no to the dinner because we were like, oh, we'll come to you. We'll make it really easy. I know you're busy with the kids. And if that's a problem, then we'll just come to you and make it meet up at a restaurant for an hour dinner. You know, make it simple. Not like a long weekend, long visit like we usually have. That's typically how they are.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
I mean, I felt like we had a good conversation. It was pretty civil, you know? I mean, I felt like, you know, got a little more information. You got some more context. Yep. Okay, I wanted to ask you, though, what did you... After we had our conversation, did anybody reach out to you as far as, like, adopted people on TikTok?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Don't you like our gifts? Right, you know, or whatever.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Did anybody, like – because I know TikTok's, like, your big – that's, like, where all your followers are, right? How many do you have? Like, where are you at now?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
that really took me a tie back because we never thought i mean gifts are gifts they're not even gifts like i feel because i feel like honestly i would accept a gift from anyone for my kid how am i gonna stop and withhold uh an expression of love to the child when it's been happening for 15 years especially but even just like anyone can give my kid a gift and i'm like awesome that's great right you know so i love it yeah he doesn't have a gift yeah it's a gift we never thought
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
like okay we get you're you're upset you don't want to talk about anything that's fine but not to send gifts and also not to send gifts when it's been a thing for 15 years it's all carly's ever known so how do you explain to the child now all of a sudden the gifts stop yeah and and i and i since i can't talk to carly and tell her that what how are you doing that and what you know we we have no say so and how she gets that information about not getting gifts like she watches the show
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
And they agreed. They were totally on board. They were...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
Yeah. I mean, because the fact of the matter is we even asked before being blocked, like, we just want to know if what we're doing is harming Carly or not. Yeah, is it... Is it her? Is she saying, hey, I don't want to see pictures of my sisters. It's hurting me. Or I don't want to get gifts. And Teresa responded... No, she just ignored me.
Pour Minds Podcast
Squabble Up FT. Supa Cent
Yeah, that's right. This bitch is probably writing a song about what she was saying. Bitch, I'm about to knock you the fuck out, you blind bitch. I'm going to knock the glasses off my face. You blind motherfucker. You blind motherfucker. Oh, the audacity.
Pour Minds Podcast
Squabble Up FT. Supa Cent
I was like, bitch, excuse me? I think that's a Southern thing, though.
Pour Minds Podcast
Squabble Up FT. Supa Cent
So yeah, I used to think I was like, so I'm like walking in class, I'm like, somebody needs to get out of my seat. I have nowhere to sit. And then I was like, man, fuck this hoe. Bitch, sit on my lap. Bitch, sit on my lap. She coming at that booty in hell. What happened? No, I was like, oh, my God. I love it.
Pour Minds Podcast
Squabble Up FT. Supa Cent
Fake. I heard that shit. Okay, back. Town population, 300. Literally.
Pour Minds Podcast
Squabble Up FT. Supa Cent
She walked up in the house with guns blazing, bitch. I don't know what you're talking about. Okay, okay, okay. At this point, she might as well say the goddamn thing.
Pour Minds Podcast
Squabble Up FT. Supa Cent
Super, do you remember that time? You clocked out. Was Nelly smacking that, girl? No, no, no. We ain't talking about that. Super said, how you know that? Super told me, asked for the little... Because she kept saying, like, oh, y'all been following me.
Pour Minds Podcast
Squabble Up FT. Supa Cent
And then I had the nurse to be like, turn around and die. Tonight is the night. Tonight will be the night.
Pour Minds Podcast
Squabble Up FT. Supa Cent
Nigga, I was going through and y'all over here trying to laugh at me. Yeah, we supposed to bond, bitch.
Pour Minds Podcast
Squabble Up FT. Supa Cent
It probably was all white. It had a little crust on it. A little yeast around it. Oh, my God.
Pour Minds Podcast
Squabble Up FT. Supa Cent
A little mojito? You know, now you need a little slow dance for me. You know. I'm not muddling no mints. I'm not muddling no mints. I'm sorry.
Pour Minds Podcast
Squabble Up FT. Supa Cent
Ooh, and I like it. You send chills up my spine every time I take one look at you. Ooh, and I like it.
Pour Minds Podcast
Squabble Up FT. Supa Cent
I'm super going to get my hotel key. Shout out to Sofa. We'll see y'all next week. And she like it. I'm crying. I can't stay with them socks on, bitch. Hey! That was a great... Hey, I don't know about that, but that's my jam. Bitch, I'm drinking them socks exactly how I be gonna get my kids. Flying all across the fucking hotel floor. You see? Let me hear that one more time.
Pour Minds Podcast
Squabble Up FT. Supa Cent
But I never popped out with him. I've seen him in the background with that shiny little head. He was bald? He was.
Pour Minds Podcast
All My Children
But a million dollars for them six wings? Yeah. Oak it up. Now they are expensive. Go ahead.
Pour Minds Podcast
All My Children
I honestly don't eat a lot of fast food, but if I had to, it would be Chick-fil-A, Wendy's, or Popeye's.
Pour Minds Podcast
All My Children
Yeah, they be putting love. It don't taste different to me. It's somebody auntie, mama, and grandma in that kitchen.
Pour Minds Podcast
All My Children
Okay. Ty, what are we drinking today? Well, speaking of different cultures, I'm going to change this up real quick. Yes! So this is an honor to you, ladies, the Travel Queen. Yes! Okay, that's what this drink is called. Congratulations on your new show. Thank you. The debut on BET. We're so proud of you. We love y'all. Thank you. So this one we're going to call the Travel Queens.
Pour Minds Podcast
All My Children
You can add any spirit of choice. Lex has some vodka. We're going to add some grapefruit. I muddled some cucumbers and jalapenos, so we have a little bit of kick of spice. a little bit of lime juice, and I actually made a cucumber syrup. So that's in there. Give it a, like, refreshing taste.
Pour Minds Podcast
All My Children
And then we topped it with a sparkling water mixed with grapefruit and lime sparkling water together. I gave the rim a celery salt mixed with tajin. It's a little paprika, a little salt there. And then we garnished it with some cucumbers and jalapeno coins. Okay.
Pour Minds Podcast
All My Children
It is good. Thank you, Ty. So welcome, travel. How did you make the cucumber syrup? Just kind of, I made some, like I used agave actually for that one. And then let the cucumber set in it. And then I actually added a couple jalapenos, but I don't feel like it was that spicy.
Pour Minds Podcast
All My Children
Yeah. Okay. See? She be bringing it up. She do it every week. She low-key got a crush on him.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Who is Rashard and Troy. That was my fancy lady accent. That was not fancy. I'm going to talk about travel queens. But we're going to get to that in a second.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
What? Oh, I don't have my phone. What's that body company called? Nobody got their phone.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
And oh my gosh, like, we just took New York over. We was in the streets stomping around. What else is new? And then we did Open Thoughts with Marco Summers. Our episode with him dropped last week on Poor Minds.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
You know how sometimes your natural pheromones, sometimes people just stink naturally.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Shout out to Marco. Shout out to Marco Summers. I think we have been doing a great job.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
I've been here since... What time is it now? What time is it, Shay? It's 4.48. And you ate.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
I mean, no, somebody probably could. No, I ain't going to hold you. Somebody could probably tell.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
But why are you... It's supposed to be a rub down, not a rub down. I be rubbing it. But I'm saying, you get in there with them three, you supposed to wash it with your hands, your coochie. And it's supposed to be a wash. What wash you use down there?
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Okay. Okay. That's a good one. What's the old school one in the pink bottle? I got the big pink bottle. You know what I'm talking about. What's that brand? You don't wash your coochie? Shay said, I don't know.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
It's the old school vaginal wash. I don't know. But anyways, that's the one I use. In a pink bottle?
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Yeah, a lot of people don't naturally... And I think that's okay, too. We don't need to be embarrassed about that.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Do you like cottage cheese? I love cottage cheese, actually. So I hate when people talk about cottage cheese in that manner.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
So when I posted my cheat meal yesterday, I had made some pasta with some salmon. They said, if this is your cheat meal, what do you usually eat? I said, y'all, pasta is a cheat meal.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
No, I didn't. That's why I said it was a cheat meal. I was cheap. I went all the way. You didn't see me, nine. I didn't. I only made... You know, I cook for one. Or sometimes if I cook, you know, I'm cooking... I cook for whoever in the house at the time. You should have showed up. You would have got you a plate.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
I'll bring you a plate next time. I will. Because that salmon was fire.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
All right, let's get on. See, speaking of passive aggressiveness in relationships.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Yes, they have access to over 30,000 licensed therapists that can help get you together.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com backslash Poor Minds. Sign up today.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Like, you know, are you more of a, I'm going to give you the silent treatment or I'm setting a boundary. Are you being distant to protect your peace or are you doing this to punish your partner? Like, what, how do you look at passive aggressiveness?
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
So I know in my relationship, that's something that I struggle with.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
In my mind... I'm trying to gather my thoughts. I'm shutting down.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Or if, like, me and my man are into it, I'm definitely not withholding no sex.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Yeah, I'm going to ask you, Ty, what do you think? So it's kind of both of, it's what both of y'all were saying. The definition or passive aggressive behavior is a pattern of indirectly expressing negative emotions through subtle acts of resistance, defiance, or neglect.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
But I will say one thing that I've loved about your growth too is that you have learned to approach situations a lot more delicately than you used to.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
No, but I will say, like, versus our relationship when we first became friends versus now, like, you're so much more easier to talk to. Am I delicate now? You are. Like, I don't mind bringing, like, if I be like, Drea, friend. Like, I don't mind saying that now.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
In the beginning, I used to be like, I'm just not even going to say nothing because I know how she finna react and I know how she finna do.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Now, I'm an on-time queen now. But I was just using that for an example. We just use it for an example.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Mm-hmm. But I think that's also okay because different people want different things out of life.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Let them know we sent you. And get your money back. Save you some money. I'm telling you, you have something charging your card right now that you completely forgot about. So download the Rocket Money app and save your coins.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
I don't think it's a bad thing. I just think it depends on how the person that you're talking to can perceive it. I don't think nothing is wrong with being direct if you're being honest. Honesty is never a bad thing. Yeah. I agree. I think that people who don't like directiveness are people who can't handle real shit. That's in my opinion.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
I hate people like that. First of all, because I always say it's not about what you say, it's how you say it. I don't want no mean ass friend.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Like, you, Lauren, Killa, B-Lynn, and my sister are all so different.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Or let's let it... If you want to wear this dress so bad, you got some spank friends. You got a little spank... You know what I'm saying?
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
I think people don't understand you or get your tone of things. They don't understand, like, it don't be that deep. But people who don't know you, they be like, oh, my God, Dre is a bitch.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
And I think that's what when you're talking about like mean girls or people that are just blatantly mean, I think they're lacking empathy. You still care, but you don't care enough for it to stress you out.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
I be seeing cute bands. I seen somebody, they had a Cuban link. It was a fake bust down.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
If I put a ball gown on with my Apple watch on, I don't give a fuck what this ho say.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
You should have been beefing at their wedding. But honestly, I will say this and y'all going to be mad at me. The watches y'all was sitting in her mentions wasn't putting up a good fight. If y'all was going to put up a good fight, y'all should have did better than that because I was trying to be on y'all's side.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Honestly, I didn't even know it went viral. I didn't even know it went viral because I seen it first on Spiritual World. Yeah, that's what I said. And I said, what the hell is this? And when I tell you, I'm sorry...
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
You can't talk about what black women do. This world was handed to you.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
I always felt like I just want to do something on my own or maybe I'm just figuring it out. I don't know. When I met Dre, I was like, oh, we can do something together for real.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Yeah. So, you know, it's cool. I think the people who get it, get it. And the people who don't, don't. And they understand the chemistry. But I don't... I will disagree with you. I...
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
They were looked at as a certain way. We just talked about this on The Breakfast Club. I'm not trying to be funny. Now, women who look like us, the BBL girls, now they be like, okay, let me show more.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Because to agree with Dre Nicole, you're agreeing to be the Joker. You're agreeing to be Bane.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
We've been doing this for seven years. You know how many podcasts we've seen start and stop, but we didn't? Can we just give some accolades and some hand claps for women who start businesses and keep going and don't give up?
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
I'll let you got my money, baby. And you my honey, you my honey, baby.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Because mine is like, nobody knows that he can really, really rap. He never became famous. He never did nothing. But he got them bars. Oh, you gonna hit him? Yep. You got a direct... Oh, you do got a direct line.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Y'all have to... Something has to happen. Yeah. That Jeezy era, y'all don't get it. Y'all was too young. When Jeezy was dropping this music in the strip club, my life changed. When that... Lord knows it's there.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Y'all don't get it. Y'all will never get it. All right, moving on, moving on. All right, it's time to get into our favorite segment of the week, Pour Your Heart Out. We're going to do one question. Yeah, let's do one. Let's do one. Pour Your Heart Out. If you want your question answered on the show, make sure you email us at askpoorminds at gmail.com.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
If you're a Patreon member, make sure you put that in the headline. You get to skip the line. Go ahead, Dreya.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
When you're giving a service to someone... I know that field is hard because, again, I talk about Dee Dee all the time, and she's been in that field for a long time, and it took her... She was telling me how long she's been doing it and how long it took her to get her footing in it. But I think if you're passionate about something, you have to show your passion.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
And you have to get creative, too. But if you give good service... Let me tell y'all something. When I say I found Dee Dee off of, like, a random post that went viral of hers, like, six years ago, and I've been going to this girl for six years.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
We ain't got no guests today. Hey. You know what? Yeah. Let me just say this. I have to give us our flowers and our things. We just went on a crazy press run. And we got so much good content that's out right now. Like, we did Rory and Mal. Shout out to Rory and Mal. That was a fire episode. Hopefully, by the time this drops, EYL will have dropped. I think it should have.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Sometimes, though... I talked to somebody about this the other day. Sometimes, you know what? You're going to have to do somebody here for $50. You might have to do somebody here for free.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
When people come to get their hair done, if you can wash and braid their hair down, you already won. Because people be wanting you to come wash and braid down anyway.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
And I was like, you know what? I know I'm funny. I know I'm entertaining. And all I want to do is make people feel good. I'm not going to stop until I make people fucking feel good. So when you're really passionate about something, you're not going to let anything get in your way.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
And that's something that I had to do as being a bartender and starting my own bar catering company.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
and wanted them to become my mentors because why would they just want to mentor someone that's fresh out of whatever program and haven't tried as much or haven't had those opportunities yet? You got to be able to showcase your talent, your passion, and why you're here and why they should give you a chance too.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
But I really think as a business person, just finding creative ways that's going to set you apart from anybody else in your field, in your industry, own that,
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Because you got to be patient. Yeah. And I think that's what people be thinking. Oh, I've been doing this for three years. That's not enough. Mm-mm. Three years ain't nothing. That's light work. All right?
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
Do you want to be down? Are you down, Dre and Nicole with three E's? Uh-oh, my hair got in your thing. Uh-oh. Yeah, hit it. Hit it. Give it to him. Just like that. Mm-hmm.
Pour Minds Podcast
U Dont Know Me
I think it's going to drop this week, actually. Shout out to Rashad and Troy.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
I have a small head, but the problem is I have a dent in my head.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
I'm about to say, because I was about to say, child, you lying. Oh. But... I had a part. I have a video... I had a part. I have a video in my phone. You definitely had a design. It wasn't a design. It was a part. It was a little... Moving on. You know how niggas be getting a little squiggly? I never had a squig. Never had a squig. I beg to do... I had a part. I had a part. That's not a design.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
No. Because who the fuck put a part in no hair? Well, it was hair. I didn't have a fade. Why do you need a part when you don't have no hair? Because I never had a fade. It was short and curly, so it would look cute when I had the part, and I would lay my edge, and I would do a little, you know, swoop with the edge, so it looked cuter with the part. What are you parting?
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
But you look nice. I like it. Thank you. It's giving. Shout out to Raquel.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
My hair, because I was never bald a bit. Nice. The funny thing is, I'm talking shit, but I want to cut my hair off. I want a short haircut so bad. I hope that dick just is shiny. My dick? Yes. It ain't gonna be that low, bitch. Ooh. I see your bitch, I raise you one.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
What's up, y'all? It's your girl, XP. And it's your girl, Dre Nicole. And y'all know we love to talk to y'all about reaching your financial goals and becoming more responsible, so we gonna tell y'all about Chime.com. Yes, I love Chime, especially the free overdrafts, because if I don't have $10, then why y'all think I got the 50? Yes.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
I am, and that's what I am. I'll always be an African queen and represent for my black people like I did in the booth. Amen. I did, too. I never want to watch an episode of Coco, I mean, the movie Coco ever again. Why?
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
They have spotted members up to $30 billion in overdraft fees, so I'm telling you, if you wanna save money and do right by your finances, go to Chime.com. And what I love about Chime is that you can get your money up to two days early with a direct deposit. Okay, I like that. So what you're going to do is go to Chime.com backslash Poor Minds. That's C-H-I-M-E dot com backslash Poor Minds.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
It takes two minutes to sign up. Get your account today. Period. Make your fall finances a little greener by working towards your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in just two minutes at Chime.com backslash poor minds. That's Chime.com backslash poor minds. Chime feels like progress. Bank services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. members FDIC.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Boots are available to eligible Chime members enrolled in Spot Me and are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to Chime.com slash disclosures for details.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
y'all it's your girl xp and it's your girl dre and nicole and we are here to tell y'all about our brand new ebook and e-course bundle pour into your pod yes y'all we have been working on this for a while and we're so excited to put it out and give it to y'all because we know so many people have been asking us for such a long time about how to start a successful podcast and we have literally put all of the information that we have and everything that we've utilized into this one ebook
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Yes, this is not your typical e-book because I know what a lot of y'all are thinking. But I'm telling y'all, we give y'all direct access to how we built our brand. It's not no fluffiness and all that what I've read in e-books before. This is the e-book that gets straight to the point and gives you all the direction you need to start your podcast today. Absolutely.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
And you can trust that we are putting 100% good information, no filter into this book. And it's going to help you build your brand. And it shows you exactly how we built Poor Minds and made it into a six-figure company. So make sure y'all head to poorminds.com to purchase your e-book or the e-course. And we also have it available in a bundle for you so you can get both. Poorminds.com.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
It's all right, Yvette. You can stay right there. Shout out, Yvette. That's our photographer. Hey, Yvette. Y'all have seen Yvette on Broken Play, but y'all have never seen Yvette on Poor Minds. And shout out to Yvette. If you ever need a photographer here in Atlanta, she does all of our photos for the show. So any photos y'all see on the Poor Minds page, Yvette is responsible. Book my girl.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Book a black woman. Because y'all didn't vote for one. Hey, I'm with you when you write. Hey. But let's go to another black woman. What's up, Ty? That was good. I like that. I like that in you. That way. So this one is going to be by the fireside because it's getting chilly. I know y'all be trying to snuggle up. I know y'all probably watch. Hopefully you're watching this with your boo.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
If not, I don't know what to tell you. But this one's going to be called by the fireside. You can use whatever spirit of choice, whether it's vodka, tequila, a bourbon goes nice in this. Even a little cognac goes nice in that. Oh, that's good. You like it? Yeah, a little raspberry liqueur. It was giving, I'm about to buzz. That's what you need to name this drink. I'm about to buzz?
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
I'm about to buzz. Let's change the drink name. To what? I'm about to buzz. Okay, this is the, I'm about to buzz. Wait, what was it at first, though? By the fireside. Nice and wholesome. I'm about to bust by the fireside. Let's incorporate both of them. I like that. I'm about to... Hello, y'all. The drink of the day is I'm about to bust by the fireside.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
You can add in whatever spirit of choice you like. Whatever's going to help you bust quicker, okay? We have a little raspberry liqueur, peach schnapps, some lemon juice, and a little Demerara syrup, which is like a brown sugar-based syrup. And then I actually floated a little bit of red wine. So definitely if you're trying to, you know, I don't know, but you know. By the fireside. Thank you, Ty.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
And then garnish it with a cinnamon stick. So, cheers, y'all. Enjoy. This is delicious. It is good. So, Ty, we're going to do a little update with Ty. What you been up to? Everything. Yeah. I... One thing about you... Booked and busy.
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Literally everywhere. So, of course, so Mixi's doing great. We're being booked daily. We love that. Keep on coming, y'all. Had a few people reach out from the show that they watch it. So that's amazing. I work with Crown Royal as the cultural educator for Atlanta. So that's keeping me busy. You can follow me at Crown Royal T-A-T-L there. But really, we just elevated these cocktails every day.
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And that's it. No, shout out to you, Ty. You be books and busy. And that's how I know my girl be getting a coin. Because she be there, but she don't be there. If that makes sense. You know what we need to work on? I seem so mixy. Just did an event for... Shout out to Brady and Tabiti. Yeah. Love Tabiti. We love Tabiti and Brady. And Brady. Love y'all. So, yeah.
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She just had her going back to work party. It was so cute. Yeah.
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coffee book right you mentioned that let's do it ladies all right okay back to the topic we didn't have no time yes we did we were talking about meg's documentary because we never talked about it oh okay yeah that was a good topic um so i watched it i watched it and it was good first of all i loved it it was so good i loved the animation
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I feel like it added an extra element to the doc or whatever. And then also with her like being into anime, I thought that was like pretty cool that they did like a little animation. And it just kind of gave people a little bit more insight to the things that happened who are like more visual people who needed to kind of see things. exactly what happens.
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It's just so sad to me because that girl have been through so much. And people are so focused on her lying about fucking that nigga. When at the end of the day, yeah, did she lie about it on Gayle King? She did. But she admitted to it when it mattered, which was in court. But either way, I stand with her when she said, people are losing... Stay focused, bitch. Y'all losing the plot. Stay focused.
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Y'all so worried about whether or not I fuck this nigga. This man shot me. In the grand scheme of things, how much do it really matter that I was fucking him and y'all care way less about the fact that he shot me? And then in the midst of all of this, I... came around a bad group of people. I started being in the wrong company because I was going through shit. Because I lost my mother.
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I didn't know where life was going. I didn't know what to do. I was just looking for help. I was looking for friendship. In the wrong places. And you thought that this man was your friend. And he definitely was like taking advantage of you. But at the end of the day, I just think people need more empathy for the fact that like, this girl lost everybody in her life that, held her down.
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Delete it, Javi. Delete the whole... Delete the whole part. Oh, my gosh. Okay, so... My bad.
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Everybody that loved her unconditionally, like her mother, her grandmother, her dad. Like, this girl really going through life by herself. You just gotta get... And then she was young as fuck. Like, Meg only, what, 29 right now? She's not even 30 yet. Yeah, she's not even 30 yet. This girl is not... So, I'm glad you said that. Let's take that into account. This lady is not even 30 yet. Yeah.
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Yeah, she's only 29. So it's like, imagine the shit, all of the mistakes we made in our 20s, all of the bullshit we did in our 20s, but it wasn't documented. It wasn't on a platform for the world to see. You know what I mean? And I just feel like... Did she, like... She had her faults and she had her shit that she did wrong, too, in the situation, if we being honest.
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But at the end of the day, like, this lady have been through so much and has persevered. You know what I mean? Like, if anything, she should be a testament, a role, like, I don't want to say a role model, but, because, you know, they're going to kiss up in the comments if I say role model. But a testament, you said it right. But a testament to persevering. Yes, yes.
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And still going and still making it through. That's so hard. And unfortunately for both of us, we know what that's like, too, to have to, like, keep going in the midst of loss, in the midst of grief, and losing somebody that's so close to you. And I just feel like people just be so hard on this girl all the time. And it really, I always liked Meg, but it definitely made me have a really...
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Yeah. One, of course, the main thing that broke my heart, which I'm going to get into at the end of my little spiel, is the mother thing, of course.
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Everybody around her were people that worked for her. Mm-hmm. So... Yeah. The only person that was around her that was like a friend was her cousin. And let me tell you, somebody that... And shout out to you, Beach. Because you were real. Yeah. And let me say this. Her cousin is a real one. I really meant that from the bottom of my heart. So let me finish.
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So I will say, I say it's so important all the time, community. When you're going through things, you need friends. You need your sisters. You need your aunties. You need your... You cannot live this life without community. So the fact that I saw her... The fact that I saw her going through this and she didn't have community... What made me really sad.
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Another thing that I noticed, I specifically remember her performing her anxiety song. And she's on stage and she's performing and she's giving her heart and she's crying.
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And I felt that because I've been there. And when she got off stage... Everybody around her, she was like, oh, did I look pretty? And she's just trying to have a moment because she's trying to cheer herself up. Everybody was like, oh, you did so good. Not one person grabbed her and hugged her. Not one person. And in that moment, she didn't need to be Megan Thee Stallion.
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She needed to be Megan Pete and she needed a fucking hug. So let me say this, on top of that, the one person that I saw around her that we see that has always been, oh my God, this woman is a machine that poured into her every time. Lori Ann. Lori Ann fucking Gibson. She...
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was constantly pouring into her and telling her how great... The reason that Megan is so great is because she's Megan and she's herself. But Laurie Ann, who has created superstars, who has been in this industry... We interviewed her when we were in L.A., And I loved her. And I'm not even funny.
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If you've ever been in the presence of somebody who has done great things and they're just great, being around them, you feel something. Like, when Lori walked up to me, she's so little. It was just like, oh, my God. And the way she even spoke life into us, she was like, you ladies, y'all are doing it. Y'all are beautiful. And that was the first time she met us.
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She was like, this is the best interview I've did all day. She was like, so... That's what everybody say. Yeah. The way that Laurieann poured into her was very important to me. And that stuck out to me. Shout out to us. I got two more points and I know I'm getting long-winded. Second point was... It's okay. Speak your piece. I am so glad that she showed the depth of her and Kelsey's relationship.
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No, you a little... I'm sorry. Delete it. I ain't know what to do. Like, you a little spicy today. I'm scared I might get slapped.
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Because... Everybody was like, oh, Meg wrong because she was having sex with Tori. They doing that. Was it wrong? Yes. We're not taking away that. I don't know who did, but at the end of the day, we don't know who was doing what first or what. We don't know nothing about nothing. All we know, we don't know nothing. We're only going by he say, she say.
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But what I'm saying is, at the end of the day, it was weird and it was wrong. Because if y'all are friends, why are y'all hopping on the same X, Y, Z? Yeah, I mean, and that's where I'm like, yeah, you right. But let me finish. But my thing is, because I've had somebody do this to me.
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For Kelsey to sit on that camera and cry about Miss Holly and say, me and Megan have been through the dirt and the trenches. And when we, she said, not when Meg, she said, when we lost Miss Holly, I knew I had to be here. So instead of you being by her side, you chose to take some hush money and get on that stand and And not say nothing.
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Because at the end of the day, they may do you wrong from what it comes to be. But let me tell you, if that would have been me and Dre in that situation, first of all, that nigga would have been beat the fuck up. Because ain't nobody finna pull out a gun on my friend. Somebody finna, somebody gonna die tonight. Shout out to 50 Cent. I'm gonna sing it. I'm gonna have a night. Period.
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That would have been the theme song of the night. If that was the situation, and say I'm messing with somebody, and then Drea go back, though, and she messing with him, and it comes out in the car, and same thing happens. Don't care. I'm sitting on that stand, and I'm telling him what he did. Now, I may choose to never talk to you again,
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But deep down inside, I know what you're going through because you're going through a lot and you've been drinking a lot and you're struggling. So I will forgive you for my piece, but I'm never going to talk to you again. But I'm going to sit on that stand and I'm going to give you justice because no matter what, you did not deserve to almost... If that bullet would have hit...
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a foot higher, it could have hit an artery, and that woman would have died. And the narrative would have been, y'all would have needed Meg to die for y'all to care. Dance bitch is crazy. Exactly. Because what, nigga? That's probably how she responded, too. Because, like, nigga, what are you talking about? Because I want to get out the car.
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And like I said, third, and my last point about Kelsey, and I'm glad that she focused on that, is just being that, like I said, It taught me how scary people are because everybody has a price. You never know who have your best entries. And I've lost when, like I said, I had somebody look at me in my face and said, when your mom passed, I felt like she told me to watch over you.
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And this person did the worst. Don't piss me off. Worst things to me that I've ever endured and encountered. I hate that girl. Please don't piss me off. Well, no, I'm just saying. No, no, I'm talking about the guy. I'm talking about the guy. Oh, I'm talking about that girl. No, not her. Well, she was saying the same thing, though. Well, yeah, it was kind of the same.
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I had a lot of people the year my mom passed that I had to get out of my life. And I take back hate. My mom always told me hate is a strong word. I don't hate her. I strongly. Dislike. Strongly dislike that bitch. Um, but I'll say this about Kelsey. I'm glad that she showed that because there was a lot of things that the stands and fans wanted her to focus on.
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She didn't post like the beef with Nikki. She didn't post her with party because none of that matters.
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What hurt her was that Kelsey sat on that stand and act like you didn't know nothing. And I could have lost my life. And no matter what beef or whatever transpired, you could have served justice and made sure that justice was served a lot easier. Well, you know what justice was served? It was. No, I'm saying you know what justice was served. At the end of the day, losers are going to be losers.
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Only for you to be online taking a whole photo shoot with Nicki's shoes and Nicki to come out and say, I didn't ask her to do that. Because one thing I can say about Nicki, Nicki on tour, she doing her thing. Like, you was trying to be shady. You thought Nicki was finna kiki with you, but that... And shout out to Nicki. Yeah. We love us some Meg, and we love us some Nicki.
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I think you should do a video to Beautiful. Because that's what they shot it at. I know. You should do that. That would go viral.
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Yeah, we don't choose sides over here, so... Hopefully, I really hope they can get cool at some point, because a collab would be fire. Hot Girl Summer was a bop, and we need to run it back. A collab, a new collab would be fire. But either way that goes, last point I want to make, um... You called me... Well, no, I think I called... We talked the next day, maybe after the documentary.
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No, because I hadn't... I don't think I had... Oh, oh, yeah. I hadn't watched it yet. Yeah. But you were... Your reaction... Oh, my God. Please, I don't want to get emotional. This is not... Bitch, I got my makeup done and I got lashes on. We don't cry on this stuff. Oh, I don't want to get... I don't want to get emotional, but, like, your... Your response... Maybe it's the liquid.
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Okay, it probably is. You know I be crying for real. Like, what the fuck going on? Ooh! Okay. So, like, your response was just so... Thank you, Ty. Your response was just so triggering for me. Um... Because... Oh, my God. What the fuck is going on? This so bad. No, you about to start crying, too. No, I'm not. You are. My tears don't fall, bitch. Oh, my God. Okay, so... Maybe this is a good thing.
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Because I feel like people don't really see this side of me. Yeah, it's okay. Some people think I don't have the side, which you see this side of me all the time. All the time. But no, it's okay. We needed to talk about it. Oh, my God. So... You've been through so much. We both have, you know, like losing my dad was so fucking hard.
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And then it's like I kind of was prepared for it a little bit because I knew my dad was sick. Yeah. But like still when it happened, it was like, what the fuck? Yeah. Yeah. You know, the crazy thing about me. I recorded the same day. And then we didn't talk about it for, like, two months or whatever. A lot of people didn't even know. Because I'm just that type of person.
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Like, I got to keep myself busy to keep my mind off of things. So I feel like for a long time, I didn't even deal with the debts of my dad. And so... Right when I felt like we was kind of, like, getting to a good space with that, like, the situation with your mom happened, which was, like, so fucking crazy still to this day because it just happened out of nowhere. Yeah, yeah.
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Shawty got her ass on her. On her. I'm going to put my hands on her. On her. I'm going to pop a rubber band on her. On her. It's a good song. What an era.
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We was all so fucking shocked. Yeah. And, like, so when you called me about the documentary, I was just like, oh, like, it was so triggering because I could tell you was really, like... experiencing it all over again. Because you and Meg kind of have, like, the same story a little bit, you know? And it was just, like... I don't know, bro. I just be feeling for you so bad.
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Because I know, like... The thing with me is... It's not to say that I don't... I don't go through the same things and, like, miss my dad. But I just feel like me and you are just so different. Like, I'm a little bit more, like... Hard back. Yeah, yeah. You know, like, I go through it, but I'm just able to, like... Maneuver. Yeah. And I feel like for you, it's, like, a little bit harder.
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And which is so crazy, because I think when people see us, like, you're older than me. You... You the thick... You the stallion. Like, people think that you're gonna be, like, the tougher one. But in reality, it's me. Like, I feel like I'm like your little pit bull. And I just always... Worry about you. I guess is what I was... My whole point in saying all of these.
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I just always worry about you because... I'm okay. Yeah. Like, I'm at a point where... I have accepted it. Yeah. And I've accepted what it is and I'm okay. Like, I have my moments where I'm sad and I... Some days I don't want to get out of bed still too. Yeah. But I'm okay. Yeah. With you, I just don't never know if you're going to be okay. Yeah. And it worries me so much.
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Still. Who? That was Gucci Mane, right? It was. I thought so. I don't think that was Gucci Mane. I think it was. Let's do our research. We don't have a Google team. But she thick in the lips like Jackie, yo. Ain't that what he said? Or thick in the hips.
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Also, I'm never going to like to tell your business, but like even when it first happened, like what you shared with me, I was just like.
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Well, even like because you was like, I'm so glad that you came. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When you came.
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And I'm just like... Yeah. It just always scares me because I just never know. I think... I think with this, and like I said, I've worked through a lot of things. And with the documentary, it was... It was shocking because I went through the same thing. Right. You know, Meg lost her dad at a young age. I lost my dad at a young age. That's why I say y'all have like the same story.
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When you have somebody... Literally the last post on your mom's page is me, you, and Ryan. Literally, me, her, and Ryan. She love this now. And when you have a parent that just believed in you and would go to war about you and was your best friend and your everything, so the way that Megan's relationship was with her mom, I saw that. Because... Her mom was like, twerk. Dance. Shake that ass.
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My mom was like the same thing. Like, when you go and you crack them jokes, like, you need to be like, you can't, you know. No, your mom was for sure our biggest supporter. They used to call my mom like, oh, Lex got a potty mouth. Yeah. Well, they wouldn't call me Lex. You know, they would be like, you know, she got a potty mouth and she's so, she doing her thing. Let her do her.
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And shout out to mothers like that. Because I feel like my mom liked that too. Like, she come to all our shows. Yeah. She be there. Like, shout out to having mothers that support your dreams and your vision. And your mom was a real one. So, the fact that when Meg lost her mom, she kind of had to... She couldn't stop.
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And when I moved out to Atlanta, it was like, oh, my God, we're getting ready to go on tour. I could not stop because not only was it I have a business partner, I have a team around me. I got people that got to get paid. And I knew the same thing that Meg said. If I would have stayed home and cried for the summer, my mom would have been so mad at me. Yeah.
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Okay. You know your history. Do you? Did you vote? Go ahead, by Gucci Mane. I'm just playing. That is crazy. Gucci Mane, come on. Fun fact about me. I'm an icy girl. Are you? Because you didn't know that that was his song? You know, I did know. I think it's the Terra Mana that's getting to me.
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She would have been like, what the... Did you learn anything from me, you dumb ass bitch? That's exactly what she would have said. And so I understood that feeling of I have to keep going because this is what you prepared me for and this is what you said I was built for. But also it's like... You have no guidance. I have no guidance.
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You really... Okay, so like, oh my God, I don't want to start crying again. Like, Lord, please. You really broke my heart when you was like, I just feel like... everybody around me, they can, like, call people. Yeah. You know, like, you, even with me, like, it's like, okay, my dad did pass away, but I can still call my mom. Mm-hmm.
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You know, so you were like, everybody around me, like, if y'all going through something, if y'all dealing with something, you can call people. Bitch, I gotta get on Google. And when I was talking about that, I'm talking about, like... But that was such a real thing. Because I feel like so many people... Yeah. ...are dealing with that. Like, it's like, what the fuck do I do?
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As we're being... I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt you, but as we're adults, we're adults, right? So, you go to the doctor or your emergency contact, you're like, oh, mom, when was the last time? Or, oh, mom, what's my blood type? Oh, mom, what's this? Mom, what's that? What's the... I don't get that. Yeah. And it hits me all the time.
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Like, whenever my health had went to shit, I'm trying to figure out X, Y, Z. And I'm like, fuck, this is stuff that my mom knows. I don't have... I got to get on Google. When I'm trying to figure out stuff with my taxes, stuff with her house, or stuff with medical and this and that, I got to get on fucking Google. Or I got to call and hope my sister can help me with something.
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But shit, she got two kids. She got a husband. She got... You know what I'm saying? So it's just like... I have to navigate this alone. And I'm sorry, but, and I say because I'm watching Meg and I'm watching her and I'm not even on nowhere near the level of her and I'm watching her become a global superstar because also when you make money, you got to learn how to keep it.
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You got to learn how to multiply it. You got to learn how not to lose it. You got to learn all this stuff. So on top of being relevant and making good music, having good episodes, dropping good episodes, I'm trying to learn how to make money now. And all I was going to say, like, I'm not, you know, trying to cut you off or anything, but like, bitch, shout out to you. Shout out to you.
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And shout out to you, too. Shout out to you, too, Ty, because I think we may have talked about this on an episode. I can't remember. I think we did talk to you about this on an episode, though. But I know you lost your mom, too. And shout out to y'all. And shout out to Meg, because all y'all doing a great job. Y'all moms will be so proud of y'all.
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Like, and even when you doubt yourself, I just always be wanting to let you know, like, bitch, you're doing a good job. Like, you are. At the end of the day, we have been dealt unfair cards. I think anybody that lost one of their parents at a young age has been dealt an unfair hand. You know what I mean? But we doing the best with the cars that we've been dealt. And that's all we could do.
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You know, it's unfortunate. It's like people who get to grow old with their parents, you're so lucky. Yeah. And y'all don't really, y'all do not realize that. how amazing that is and what a blessing that is. You know what I mean? Because it's hard out here. Losing your parent, you do be feeling like, how the fuck am I supposed to keep going? How am I supposed to go on in life?
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I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. And it's like the same thing you said with your mom. That's how I be feeling about my dad, losing my dad. Me and my dad were so close. He always had my back. He was always there for me. I could always call him. Right or wrong, he always had my back and always had my best interest. And it's just hard. Yeah. It's a hard thing.
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And like I said, the last point I wanted to make... I hate that this conversation went here because I know you don't like talking about it. I can tell by your face, too.
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The Casamigos. So, I bought the biggest bottle of Terra Mana yesterday.
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When Meg said, what did she say? She said, you know, you can be doing all these amazing things and you're so used to having your mom or your parent be like, okay, you're doing a good job. You're doing a good job. So it hits a little different when you don't have that, like, somebody who literally pushed you out And you don't get that. You know what I'm saying?
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Like, I say all that to say it just be hard because you're like, but am I doing a good job? Because the person who raised you, who saw you through all, all your chapters, all they see that growth and they see like, you know, you see me from, you know, 26, 27 to now, which is a lot of growth, by the way. I haven't been knowing you since he was 25.
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Because I went to an election party. I'm not kidding. It was about this big. I'm not casting. Did y'all drink the whole thing? No, we didn't. I made some, we had some Camalaritas, and they were actually really good. I took a page from Ty's book. I was bartending in there. I did my thing, and they were really good. They drank them all. I know that's right. Yeah.
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But sometimes, like, when I'm not, when I'm doing something that everybody looks at as right, my mom was there to be like, mm, this, yeah, that ain't it.
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And I think that's what broke my heart because it's... I could never be Meg.
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Because I get hundreds of people saying mean things to me and I'll be ready to break down Imagine millions of people on the internet tearing you down and all you're trying to do is grieve your mother All you was trying to do was go out and have a good time and somebody shot you All you're trying to do is just do what you want for a living All you're just trying to do is fucking exist in this world and this world is hard It's hard to exist
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So to close the documentary out, it was great. I think it humanized Meg a lot. And I'm not saying if you don't like her, whatever, that's your opinion. But to people that have lost dads, mothers, and we still have to show up to do our job, just go a little bit easy on people.
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All that comments that y'all be saying, I be sometimes like when the documentary dropped, I searched the In Her Words hashtag because I knew we were going to talk about it on the show. I saw some nasty things. I mean, and I'm going to say this, too. Because not that I care that much. Because, again, I feel like I'm a very, like, strong, resilient person.
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But I feel like the response that you get with you losing your mom is not the same response I get with me losing my dad. Really? No. No.
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Because I feel like you get such an outpouring of love all the time from listeners, from people like, oh, Lex, I feel like, you know, you're doing such a great job and you lost your mom or whatever. And... Bitch, I never get that. Well, you know what?
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But people don't understand how close you and your dad were because how... Bitch, I have that nigga neck. I mean, face. No, I know that. But what I'm saying is people perceive, you know, like we were talking about with him last week. People think that dads aren't in the home or they don't... So they assume they don't know how much your dad loved you and how close y'all were. Yeah.
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So that's not nothing to do with you. That's more so how people perceive black fathers. No, no. And that's the thing I was going to say, friend. I don't take it personally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the reason that I brought it up is because it's just interesting to me. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's interesting that we've both been through... technically the same thing. You know what I mean?
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Like, no, it wasn't my mom, but it was my dad. And like, I knew this nigga my whole life. Like, I never knew a life without him. I never knew a life where I couldn't call my dad, talk to him, go see him, whatever. And then I lost this person. But it's just interesting the difference in support that we get. You know, like, you losing your mom versus me losing my dad.
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It's just interesting when I be peeping it from like, The comments and all of that stuff. It's just an interesting thing. It's interesting because I think people don't feel like they need to offer the same support. Like you said, when you lose your dad versus when you lose your mom. It's like when it's your mom, it's like, oh my God. I think it's like that, though.
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Maybe because she carried you, she birthed you. It's just a different type of relationship. It's a different type of relationship, and I think it's different with men. But to me, that's sad. And going back to the conversation that we had with the ball, I mean, the bell, it's like... Why though?
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When you get in your bartending bag, you was bartending the other day. Yeah. Yeah. You should have put the hair behind your ear. Yeah. Okay, so anyways, I have some things I want to talk about before we get to the topics today. First, let's do a catch up. What you been up to? What's going on? What's tea? You know what? I ain't really been up to nothing much, to be honest.
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Men who are present in the home, men who are real fathers, when you lose your dad, it's the same effect on the person. Yeah. It's the same thing. It's a huge loss. Yeah. But why... I mean, I knew that because I'm close to you and I saw how bad it was. I saw how bad it was for you. Affected me. Yeah. And like I said, I think that's more of just like a community thing. And...
Pour Minds Podcast
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What's up, y'all? It's your girl Lex P. And it's your girl Dre Nicole. And you are tuned in to another episode of Poor Minds. Where a drunk mind speaks sober thoughts.
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Just, I think it's how we present as well. You're strong and they be... My sister is the same way. In the family, when we go around the family, everybody be crowding around me because I'm just... I've always been open about my struggles and I'm sensitive, but I'm always like, if I'm going through it, I let you know. My sister is very much like... I got to pick it up. I got two boys.
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I got to keep it pushing. That Taurus energy. She's like, I got to keep it pushing. Like, I can't stop. I can't, which we're both the same like that. But my sister's just like. I was going to say, give yourself a little more credit because you are like that. Yeah, I mean, I am like that to a certain extent. I think you like that front-facing. Yeah, yeah, front-facing.
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You're going to go home and cry. Yeah, I'm definitely going to go home and cry. But one thing I will say about you, though, bitch, you're going to get in the booth.
Pour Minds Podcast
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But I will say, I get it, though, because everybody's like, oh, Dre don't give a fuck about nothing. She's strong. She this, she that. So not saying that that's okay. And I am strong, but like... But still, I definitely, 1,000%. Like, I never thought about that. But now that you say that, it does make sense. But like I said, I think that's just how people perceive us.
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But that goes with people just, they know you online and they don't know you in real life. Because I know how close you and your dad were. I saw how it affects you. I saw how it still affects you. You know, you still have your days. We both still have our days.
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And then anytime... You are a person, unfortunately, where... I won't say everybody, but people that know you can look at your social media and tell when you're not in a good space. Well, you know what? That's something about you that has been that way forever. Like, ever since I've known you. Like, bitch, I can get on your Instagram. I can get on your Twitter.
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And I know when my friend not in a good mood. Like, I know when you dealing with something. I know when you going through something. So... But you also... You're an interesting person because you're a person where it's like people got to check on you, but people also got to give you your space. Yeah. So... Whenever you say stuff online and I know you're going through something...
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I will check on you, but then I'll also be trying to give you time. And I think with social media too, everybody knows this about me too. I've always hated, I don't like social media. So it's like, I'll be active on there now because it's my job and I have to. So when I'm like extremely active and I'm like doing my job, it's because like I'm laughing, I'm joking, I'm having fun.
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But like when I do like the bare minimum, that's when I just be like, I hate this. I hate talking to y'all. I hate everything. I hate, you know. So, I think, like, with social media, like, you can tell... You can tell. Yeah, because I know you. Because you know me, but people be... You know, they just, oh, Lex being goofy, Lex being silly, Lex being X, Y, Z, because I have to.
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Well, I'm not silly because, bitch, sometimes you tweet... A lot of the time, for me, you tweet, like, real shit. Yeah, but... Like, you will say, like... I mean, but one thing I will say, I do tweet about my mom all the time. I'll be like, I miss my mom. Like, oh, my God, I cannot, like...
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Because I'll be in the best space of my life and then I'll just be thinking about my mom and I'll, like, tweet that. So I think that's why they don't notice it. But you can tell the difference in my tone. Like, just because, like I said, you know me. But other people, like, they don't be knowing. They don't see. And it's crazy because... We gonna move on. But... I mean, it's fine.
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I think this was a really good conversation. But I will say, when that documentary dropped, when that documentary dropped, y'all don't... I got so many messages. I got so many messages from a lot of people that went to that first tour. And it was one girl who messaged me. She was like, Lex, I don't know if you remember, but it was right whenever your mom had passed.
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I'm just taking it day by day. I can't believe these results. I am as appalled as you are. It's crazy times that we living in. One thing I will say, though, we have our passports and our shots. So we might go out the country and not come back. I'm going out the... I got a one-way. No, I know you leaving. Yeah. Like, you about to go. I... Might have to come meet you. Let's do it.
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I don't mean to bring it up, but she was like, I was in the audience, and I remember somebody asked you, like, how you were doing, and you had to get off stage. She was like, and I was sitting on the side.
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No. Let me... No, when I say nothing, I mean parents. No, well, let me say this. They don't know what it's like to not have nothing, but look like you have everything. Everything. Yeah. And I think that's where people lack empathy. Yes. For people like us. Yeah. People like me. Oh, you're beautiful. You're rich. You're... Like, what?
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How are you complaining when you have this platform and you're doing X, Y, and Z and all of these people are watching you and y'all are successful and y'all making money and y'all are beautiful? Like, what the fuck are y'all complaining about? Perception is everything. Yeah. That's where people lack empathy. Yeah.
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And like I said, I hate the way that they treat her, but my heart goes out to her because she was on tour by herself. And that's the point I was making. That's why I was like, I didn't have to go on tour by myself.
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I mean, I don't need one, but I didn't have one because that year when I lost my mother, I had people, like I said, look at me in my face and say things. only to stab me in the back. Yeah. So I say all that to say because this documentary made me realize how evil people can be just because, like you said, they think that they have it all.
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But like I said, my heart goes out to Mae because she didn't have a community. And like I said, the biggest part that stuck out to me was when she walked backstage after that performance and not one person hugged her. And it broke my heart because when I walked backstage, I had somebody there that...
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I met him through work, but he flew his ass out to Houston and drove to Orange and was at my mom's memorial. Like, I had that. Everybody, like, showed up for me. Everybody showed up for me.
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But I think that, like I said, if you're indifferent about Meg, you don't like her, I'm not saying you have to like her, but just give people a break. We're all human. Life is hard for all of us. I don't care how much money you got. I don't care how beautiful you are. I don't care anything. Your race. Life is fucking hard. Give people a break.
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Give people some grace, you know, because this shit is... And also, and like I said, especially for you, and I want to say this to you because I talked about this even when your dad passed. I ain't never seen no shit like that in my life. Because when my mom passed, bitch, I canceled the photo shoot. Yeah, we had a photo shoot that day.
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We had a photo shoot that day. I was driving to the photo shoot. We was about to go there, yeah. And my sister called me, and I literally had to pull on the side of the road. I pulled in the gas station, and I just broke down. I called Dre. I was screaming. I said, I don't even know. It was such a blur. But I remember what you said. You was just kind of like...
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you didn't know if your mom was okay because y'all talking to group chat all the time. And I'm just like, oh, you know, just me. Because one thing about me, y'all, I'm always, like, optimistic. Super overly optimistic, over-manifester. Like, that's just me. Like, everything is going to be okay.
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And we might have to build a new life outside of America. You know what? At this point, I feel like poor minds is a machine. It runs.
Pour Minds Podcast
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And so I'm just like, oh, friend, like, it's fine. Maybe her phone did.
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This is just such an emotional episode because I don't want to start crying again. But, like, you did. You was like, I just know something is wrong. Like, I know something is wrong. And I was just like, no, it's fine. Like, it's fine. Like, maybe her phone is dead. Like, she's okay. Whatever. And he was like, oh, my sister is going to do a wellness check or whatever.
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She's going to get the police to go or the emergency people to go do a wellness check. And then they went and did the wellness check. And he called me back. He was just screaming. And I just knew what it was, you know? Like, it was just crazy. And that's what I'm saying as far as you. Because, like, the morning you called me, you were crying. And I was like... No, I was hysterical.
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Like, I tried to cancel. I'm like... Yeah, no, you were very like... I was like, no, we're not going to this. I kept saying, I'm like, bro, we're not going to record today. We're not going to record. You were like, no, we got to go record. Because this was during a time... I mean, we didn't have... We didn't have stuff in the can.
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This is the one we used to record on Mondays and drop on Wednesdays. Yeah, we hadn't did the 85 episode yet where, like, the shit went viral. Yeah, we hadn't did nothing yet. And we just talked about, too, on the episode with the bell. Like, we hadn't did the 85 episode. It was just us. We was in a booth, bitch. We was in the booth, unlike y'all.
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And, like, they was used to, like, getting episodes every week. So, I'm just like... I was willing to go. I was like, me and Moraine can do the episode. I was like, but you showed up. Because I couldn't show up. And people still to this day, like, when I talk about their situation, because even if you go back and watch it, people are always like, you would never know. Dre has just found that out.
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So, I think, like I said, when anybody has lost anybody, y'all have to be just nice and stop just assuming things. And we all... Moral of the story is we all going through it. So thank you, Meg, for being vulnerable and being open. It's not easy. We rarely talk about our parents on the show. We'll crack a little joke here and there. But I think the world needed to see that.
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Javier is a Hispanic name. And Javi got some good hair. I see, you know... No, you don't. I feel like Yvette is a Hispanic name.
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Yeah, I think people never really see us talk about it for real. I mean, they saw a little bit on the Melissa episode. That was like the first time we talked about it. Yeah, but I feel like I didn't really get that emotional on this episode. But I just get emotional when it comes to you and the situation. Because like I said earlier, for me, as your friend, as one of your best friends...
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And I feel like out of all of your best friends, I'm around you the most. Yeah, because I'm out here. All my best friends are in Houston. The rest of them live in Houston. So it's like I see you every day and like I just don't be knowing if you okay. Yeah. I mean, and that's a fair feeling. And it stressed me out because it's always like a thing that I'm always thinking about.
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Like whenever I'm not around you, I just be like, oh, I wonder if it's okay. Yeah. And that's not fair. And like I said, I'm not... I appreciate you for that. I mean, my sister be the same way. My sister be having whole breakdowns because she be like, answer the phone or this and that. And I just be like... No, because you one of them people too.
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Like, yes, I be just... When you don't answer the phone, I be like, oh, no, bitch. Let me call again.
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Okay, dark humor. Everybody relax. No, I mean, we both have dark humor. So I get it. Like, that's why I can laugh at it. But no, bitch. For real, though. I know, but I'll say this. The vitriol. The vitriol pill. But I'll say this. I will say this. I think I have come a long way with my mental health and my journey. And I will say, I know, I understand now that I'm more blessed than I'm not.
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How do you say it? Abuelita? She's more of a T.O. A T.O. I mean, a T.O. A T.O. A T.O. A T.O. She's a T.O. She a T. She old enough to be an abuelita. You know, Ty knows how to shake a good mark. We can take the crew. We can take this show on the road, you guys. You down, AWOL? AWOL ready to go. We're going to have to change your name, though. That ain't going to work. What is it going to be?
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I am more blessed than I am not. Yeah. And like I said, I think this... Sometimes it sounds so weird. And I remember talking to you on the phone the other day when you called me. You were like... And I was just crying. And I'm like, I know it sounds so stupid because I'm crying over this Meg documentary and I don't even know her. But I'm like, certain things will trigger you.
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And certain things will make you realize things and see things. And I'm like, and in this moment... Meg, I'm thinking she has the world. She got Grammy. She got Beyonce. And I'm looking in this moment as somebody who has no parents either. I don't got half the shit she got. And I'm feeling sorry for her because all the things in the world and you couldn't get a hug. Bitch, they couldn't hug you.
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You couldn't get a hug. And one thing about it, I got plenty of people to hug me now. And that's a blessing. And I hate the fact that she has to practice discernment now. She has to watch who's around her. But I think that was maybe a lesson that she needed to learn because she's young. She's not even 30 yet. The fact that she's going through this. I lost my mom when I was, what, 32, 33?
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I lost it as a full-blown woman. I know what is going on. And I'm still going through it. So the fact that she lost her mom so young and she has to navigate an industry that's actually worse than our industry. The music industry is horrible. And she's navigating that. Yeah, but to be TBH, same thing. Same thing. Music industry, media industry is all the same. I feel like it all mishes together.
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This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. What's up, y'all? It's your girl, XP. And it's your girl, Drea Nicole. And y'all know, every week we have to tell y'all it is time to sign up for therapy. We always talk about thanking our therapists, but we also need to thank ourselves for taking that step and getting help.
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Yes, and with the weather change and the season change, y'all know seasonal depression is falling upon us. So make sure you take care of yourself. And what I love about BetterHelp is that it's so easy to sign up. It's very, very affordable, and you can change therapies if you need to. Yes, so all you're going to do is go to BetterHelp.com.
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That's BetterHelp.com backslash poor minds and get 10% off of your first month. Let gratitude flow with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash poormindstoday to get 10% off of your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash poorminds. Okay, so topic two. Are we going to whoop our kids? A little built to ass ain't never hurt nobody. Okay. I mean, it hurt a little bit.
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Did I get whoopings? Ty, did you get whoopings? Bitch, I got... But... Now, bitch, y'all got hella whoopings. Let me tell you, I have vivid memories of whoopings, and that's why I think they work. Did they, though? Yeah, because there's certain ones I remember. And it still put the fear of God in me. Like, I got whooped one time in the bathtub. I... No matter how... With a belt? Bitch, yes.
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I don't know. No matter how long I live, I will never forget that ass with me. My mama said... She had said something to me. Now, what I will say is I don't remember all of the context of the conversation. But... She said something to me, and I was like, girl, whatever. In a bath. Boy, please, whatever. That Houston came out. In the bath, while I'm taking a bath. How old were you?
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I had to be, like, between 8 and 10. Bad. Between 8 and 10. You was bad as fuck. But she was saying something, and I was like, girl, whatever. And I remember I heard my daddy y'all because and maybe that's one of the main reasons why I miss my dad so much because that was my nigga. Like when I say always had my back, my mama, I heard her say, oh, hell no.
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And my daddy was like, wait a minute, wait a minute, just calm down, calm down. She was like, no, I'm about to whoop her ass. She was tired of you because you always used to run to your daddy. My dad was my favorite.
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Yeah, he used to always, like, have my back. Like, my dad was the reason that I didn't get a lot of whoopings because he would talk my mama down. So he was like, no, just calm down. I could hear it. He was like, no, just calm down. I was in the sub. Yeah, she ain't gonna come in here. My daddy got my back. Yeah, I ain't worried about her. Yeah, you are a mess.
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And then she came in there with that fucking... And you was wet. And I was wet and naked. Good. You deserved it. Naked and afraid. That was me, bitch. You was the first season. I was the first season of Naked and Afraid, bitch. Fuck what they talk about right now. Okay, so... Let's go back to 2001. Are you going to whoop your kids, though, whenever you have kids? No. Exactly.
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I want to try... Because, like, it was more... It was more frightening than anything. but not frightening enough to where I still wasn't going to cut up. Hello. That's what I'm saying. Like, I'm not going to lie. I vividly remember the whoopings, but it didn't stop me from being bad. No. You know what really stopped me more? When I would get shit taken away. Yes.
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Like, when I would get punished and my mom would take, well, she would be like, are we taking your TV out your room?
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I don't know. Why do you remember that? That was so bad. I do not even remember that shit. Tyena is what fucked me up. That was my shit. Tyena and As Told by Ginger. Someone once told me that crap. It's always greener. On the other side. It was, I mean, that's what really used to fuck me up. Yeah, that one messed you up. That, not being able to play Snake on my Nokia. Yo. Okay. Ayy.
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So it's just like, that used to fuck me up more than anything. Not being able to go outside, hang out with my friends. When I couldn't go to the skate rink, I used to think my world was going to end. And especially when you go to school on Monday, and they was like, oh yeah, we had such a good time. And you just sitting there like, can't relate. I'm so lame.
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That used to fuck me up more than whooping. Let me tell you why I'm not whooping my kids. I have two nephews, okay? Okay. And one of them bad. Jackson and Rod, right? I can... So why you don't want to whoop the bad? Because... Let me tell you why. I... Let me tell you how I used to spank Jackson. Because you always say he bad. Let me tell you how I used to spank Jackson. I used to be like this...
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You know that I love you, boy. Like Mexico window. You never heard that song? Oh, my God. I was more of a bad romance girl and... La, la, la, la, la.
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And that's what I would do to him. And it wasn't a spanking for real, but I couldn't spank him because he was just my sweet, that's my, oh, I will cry. My sweet baby. But you always say he's sweet. And I never had to spank him. I never spanked Jackson. My sister, my sister don't spank either one of them. Never spanked Jackson.
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And when I tell you, now he's still a kid, you know, he's still, but he's so well behaved. He's so respectful. He's an angel walking this earth. Yeah. The sweetest baby. And I never until this day. Jackson. Yes, ma'am. No, ma'am. Angel baby. Rod Jr. That little one. It's something about that second child. No, you the oldest. Nigga still bad. Shit don't work. Nothing works. You just bad.
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We ain't got no guests today. I know. That's right. That's right. That's right. You know what, though? Our intro sound like the beginning of a fire rap song.
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And I was the only child bad as fuck. Just bad. Nothing works. Bad. Nothing works. So, I feel like, honestly, it doesn't matter. It matters more about the child. Yep. But spanking, it don't really do. It don't really do too much. It don't do too much. I feel like if anything, it traumatize your kid. I don't... Because, like, I still to this day be... My mama used to...
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Will somebody go like, hey, what's up, Dre? You be like... I'm telling you, me and my mama used to be in the car together. I'll never forget. It was another time. At this point, I'm like 14. Ooh, you was a grown woman.
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That's when that ass started coming in. I was in the car with my mama. She said something to me. I said something back. She ain't like... Pop me in the mouth. So, like, still to this day, when I be in the car with her and she say something, I be like, yeah. But you still got a smart-ass mouth. No, I don't say nothing. But to her... It was to teach you to not have a smart-ass mouth.
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But you know what? But you know what I'll tell you, though? And maybe I'll be wrong. Maybe people in the comments will disagree with me. I think you need to be scared of your parents. I do, too. You need that little bit of fear. I think sometimes that's the fucking problem. And I'm not trying to say... Like, my parents definitely made their mistakes.
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By societal standards, if you analyze how they raised me... A lot of people will probably say, oh, it's certain shit they did wrong. Nobody is perfect. You know what I mean? Like, my parents were not perfect. There's no such thing as perfect. But, bitch... But I ain't gonna... Look at the material. They did something. They did a little one, too. And I was scared of my parents.
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Like, I... But I say all that to say, you know, there's a study. They have twins in a home that were raised the same, and one twin goes off to be a multimillionaire and the other twin on the side of the corner popping perks. I feel like you... Okay, so the whole parenting thing where, like, people want their kids to be their friend...
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I stand on the side of history where it's like I'm not your little friend. Yeah. Nah, I agree with that. I don't want my kids to think I'm they little friend. My mom was... She was cool when I got older, but she was never my... Did you get whipped? Hell yeah. But that's what I'm saying. With a switch, though. I'm from the country. Oh, yeah. I used to get whipped with switches.
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Oh, let me tell y'all something. And they gonna probably be in the comments like, oh, you was abused. I got whipped with an extension cord before. Not that extendo. Yeah, the extendo clip. You needed that. Yeah, I got whipped with switch. And then they used to make me go pick the switch out.
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Don't pick the small one because those hurt the worst. Yeah. And so it's like... I don't know. Like, I... Personally, for me, I'm not going to whoop my kids if I can help it. Like, if shit got to get to that, you bad as fuck. Yeah. And that's what I'm saying. You bad as fuck. Coming from somebody like the... Like, people that I've dated dealing with their kids, whooping don't work. Take that iPad.
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Oh, they finna... They finna be the sweetest thing you ever met. Yeah. Take away things that they value, but to me, temporary pain... I wanna be a different type of parent. Temporary pain is just... That's what it is, just temporary. It's temporary.
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You gonna still do what you wanna do, because my mom whooped my ass with that extension cord that time, and I still snuck that boy in the house when I was 15. Like, you ain't... Not you... You ain't... And got caught with that, too. Then... Then got caught... That two-to-two was hot. Then got caught with that. Then went to high school. They got me a car.
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They was like, oh, you need to be home at 11 o'clock every day. She was coming home at 12. Like... Because you was like, I'm going to eat this whooping. You're going to eat that whooping. I'm going to say if you get whooped a lot. It's momentary. But that's what I'm saying. To me, whoopings don't do nothing. Now they like to call it trauma and abuse, and I don't disagree with that, whatever.
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I don't like to call people whatever you want to call it. But to me, it's more effective if you have to go days with feeling something. I used to have to go days without my car. When I got older, my mom stopped. Last time I got a whooping, I was in like second or third grade. Once I got older, she would take away things from me. So when I did something bad, I had to go two weeks without my car.
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I was hurt. Bitch, first and foremost, I am with you because imagine sitting in your room with nothing to watch. You just looking at the wall and then you hear your mom in the living room listening to, what was the name of that show with Della Reese? On a long down the road.
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Girl, because you always got to take shit too far. That's how she sang it. I feel like we be vibing, and then you always...
Pour Minds Podcast
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You talking about Touched by an angel? Yes, ain't that how the fucking theme song went? Touched by an angel was such a good show. Touched by an angel. Imagine sitting in your room, no TV. Is Derry still alive? No, she died. Damn, R.I.P. my girl. She was so good. My pinky toe. Y'all say whooping. You mean like full whooping.
Pour Minds Podcast
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Or are you saying you won't even spank your kids? Like, is it the same? Yeah, I'm not doing that. I don't want to put hands and feet on my feet.
Pour Minds Podcast
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If I can avoid it. Because my mama put hands, feet. She put other objects, too, because she threw a boombox at me one time. And I would say— And I just think shit be a little too far. Yeah. Like, traumatizing. Yeah. And I love my mama. Like, this is no shame. Y'all know. But you're not traumatized. No, but that was—I'm not traumatized because the thing about—I had a good mother. Right.
Pour Minds Podcast
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My mama loved me. Like, everything that she did, I feel like she did because at that time, she thought she was parenting to the best of her ability. Mm-hmm. And she thought she was trying to get me right and get me in line so that I wouldn't become a fucked up adult. I truly do think that.
Pour Minds Podcast
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Even though I would not necessarily do some of those things with my own kids, I think that people are only a product of what they've been through and what they've seen. From what my mom tells me about how my grandparents disciplined her and her five siblings, that was the shit that they got. That's how they got disciplined. They was definitely... I think for me, I am not a parent, obviously. Yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
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But I raised my nephew right before, like, I was there. Like, it was me and my mom, we were there. And I never had to spank him. Like I said, I would do like this. Yeah. I would literally do like this and he would laugh. And it's still an inside joke to this day. But I got the most out of him to be in respect because I take things away. Now he's on my phone bill.
Pour Minds Podcast
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Yo, Gray's right because I'm not going to pay this bill. And he love his phone. He love his game. So he gets straight A's. Because he don't want his phone taken away. I feel like there's more effective things to do than... And that's what I was going to say. Although, to a certain extent, I feel like it kind of worked. Kind of.
Pour Minds Podcast
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But to the point that I was making, I still went and did other shit afterwards, you know? But I feel like she was... But I feel like she was doing what she felt like was the best thing to do. Yeah. Now that we're in a different generation and we in a different time, I no longer feel like that's necessarily the best thing to do. So... You're not whooping your kids. No. Ty, you whooping your kids?
Pour Minds Podcast
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This is the first time I've ever considered it. My initial response was, hell yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
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But I'm also not into... Although I was whooped with belts, extension cords, whatever they could reach and pull, I don't think I would do that. But I feel like if they're... small enough, a nice little... A pop. A pop here. Especially when it's stuff... Now, if it's something that they're trying to touch, I'm trying to teach you, don't touch this, I'll pop their hands so they'll know.
Pour Minds Podcast
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Because that's stuff that you have to learn. But it's like, if you're doing something... I went to a private school until I was in sixth grade. They use corporal punishment. So when you were mad, you got pops. Yep. Shout out to Miss Floosey. I'ma always remember that lady. Miss Cook. Girl, fuck you. Miss Floosey used to pop us on the fucking hand. Oh, no, we had the power.
Pour Minds Podcast
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And she did not stop. 2009 was a great year. And I remember that because Lady Gaga... Huh? She had a song with Beyonce. She did Telephone. She had two. What was the other one? Um... Video phone remix.
Pour Minds Podcast
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No, she had a little stick, and she used to call it the cop's machine. Mm-hmm. We had paddles. And she used to, anytime he was in bed, she'd be like, I'm going to pull out the couch machine. And like my mom, but the thing about her, which shout out to her too, because she, your parent had to give her permission.
Pour Minds Podcast
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Like she would talk to the parents and be like, okay, so I have a certain way of how I reprimand the kids, get them in line. But if you're not okay with it,
Pour Minds Podcast
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And she told my mom, and my mom was like, oh, we'll play. Go ahead, Barbara.
Pour Minds Podcast
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Because I know you was bad. I seen your baby pictures. You was giving Chucky, bitch. What? You were so cute, but you just looked bad. Oh, my God. Oh, I was bad as fuck. I was a terrible child. So I went to a private school, so they didn't have to. But that's how you used to get me, because I was cute. You ain't see me coming. You used to bite people. I did. And then you know what?
Pour Minds Podcast
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Funny story real quick. I used to bite people all the time. And my mom was like, you used to think that shit was funny. Like, you would bite people and be laughing because you thought it was funny until the day I bit your ass back. Exactly. I bet you stopped. And she bit me back and she was like, you ain't think that shit was funny and you ain't do it no more. So I went to a private school.
Pour Minds Podcast
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They didn't have to get nothing approved from the parents. So that's what I'm saying. But let me tell you something about Ms. Cook. Is it abuse or is it, I don't know, because she bit me back and it worked. Let me tell you something about Ms. Cook, though. Ms. Cook, now that I look back on it and I think about it, I know what Ms. Cook went into the booth and did. What did she do? She was cooking.
Pour Minds Podcast
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No, Ms. Cook went into the booth and didn't vote while she was supposed to vote. Okay. You don't know if Ms. Cook's still alive. Don't say that. Fuck her. Fuck her. I hope my mama up there whooping her ass right now. Because let me say this about Ms. Cook. It don't matter what I did. Go to the office to get pops. She wouldn't say nothing.
Pour Minds Podcast
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She would just be like, Taryn, go to the office to get pops. Damn, bitch. Let me get my joke off, hoe-ass nigga. I'm trying to tell a funny-ass knock-knock joke. I just looked up in my little book that my mama bought me for Christmas. I'm getting these jokes off, bitch. Well, bitch, I know you was bad. That's a whole nother topic for another time. What I'm saying is I wasn't doing no harm.
Pour Minds Podcast
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Because you bad now. When I think about the reason she used to give me pops, it was so like, I'm being a kid. Now, if I was going around terrorizing, biting people. Girl, excuse. I just use that as an example. I wasn't biting nobody. I'm telling jokes. Now, I was loud and obnoxious. I was that kid. Was. Was.
Pour Minds Podcast
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No, telephone was one of them. It was telephone and video phone remix.
Pour Minds Podcast
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No, but what I'm saying is, now that I think about it, Miss Cook was giving like, send this to the office. She was white? Bleak that out. She was white? Yes. Oh. Miss Lucy was black. Oh, that's why your mom gave her permission. But one time my mom came up to the school. She was like 60.
Pour Minds Podcast
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My mom came up to the school and raised hell because she started to figure out, she was like, I feel like y'all are picking on my child. Why is my child always in the office and I'm asking what's going on and they just talking about because she talking loud. The little bitch loud, bitch. You was. Still is. She is. So Ty is thinking now. So now you're reframing your thoughts. Yeah, because I agree.
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The muscles keep on talking. Uh-huh. They like the way I'm walking. Uh-huh. They saying that you want me. Low-key, they stole that from B2K. She said... Remember B2K's song? Man, you know what? I don't ever know where these conversations be going. Okay, but let me just say this. We have to give Lady Gaga her flowers because... Please fact-check me because I may be wrong. I may be wrong.
Pour Minds Podcast
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I think there is better ways, especially nowadays, because now kids have way more things that they're so attached to as well. So it's like, oh, you're taking my iPad? Oh, you know, like now they feel like there's something more to work towards. But I still agree. your kids should fear you in some capacity. And it's like, how do you have that? How do you find that balance?
Pour Minds Podcast
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I'm honestly shocked, though, because, like, whenever you post pictures of your mom and stuff, I'm like, your mom looks so sweet, so cool. Like, I can't believe she used to be whooping your ass. I mean, Barbara looks sweet, too. Nope. Yes, she does. And when you talk to Barbara, oh... Okay, again, funny story. I went to Houston a few weeks ago. Don't do her. Me and my mom.
Pour Minds Podcast
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So my mom, you know, she's up in age now. So she be having to go to like routine doctor visits all the time. That's why it be funny when people be like, oh, people always want to doctor because they is. So she was like, oh, I want you to come to the doctor with me. Please. So I was like, okay, cool. So we was getting in the car, and I can't remember what we was talking about.
Pour Minds Podcast
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We was talking about something. She was like, yeah, all your friends, they always love me. They be like, your mama's so sweet, so cool. And I was like, yeah. Oh, my God. We was talking about this, about whooping your kids. Mm-hmm. And I was saying how I was not going to whoop my kids. And my mom was like, for real? And I was like, yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
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And I was like, when they come to your house, you better not whoop them neither. Mm-hmm. Because I'm not going to whoop them. And she was like, well, I feel like you turned out all right. She was like, but it's so funny because when I meet all your friends, they be like, your mama so sweet. And she was like, and I was like, yeah. And I be telling them, like, you really a menace.
Pour Minds Podcast
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You do be saying that. Because y'all don't know. Y'all don't... But, no, I be seeing it now. When we go out to eat or I be around Miss Barbara, I be seeing that little minute. I be like, okay. This Barbara be cutting up a little bit. This is my theory, though, with people. When people get old, they become nicer.
Pour Minds Podcast
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So, y'all have only known... Like, you gotta think about it, friend. Like, when me and you became friends... My mom is 75. She just turned 75 in October. So, when me and you met... In 20, what, 15, 16? But I don't think you met my mom until, like, two, three years later.
Pour Minds Podcast
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It wasn't until you moved to Atlanta that you met my mom for the first time. So, like, when you met my mom, she was already in her 60s. She was a 60s, Anderson. You don't know the 40-something. Yeah. Your old version of her. And my mom will tell you, like, I would actually love to have her on a show one day because she would tell you, like, when she was younger, she was a fighter.
Pour Minds Podcast
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She used to be fighting. She used to get out there. She used to be outside. Hey, what I told you about my granny. But, like, she used to be outside. Like, y'all be underestimating. My mama was a fool when I was younger. Side note, you know the signs of a good... My daddy was the cool one. You know the signs of a good grandma is when you see a grandchild and they be greasy.
Pour Minds Podcast
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What's up, y'all? It's your girl, Lex P. And it's your girl, Dre Nicole. And it is the holiday season, so you know we have to put y'all on the perfect stocking stuffer. Thanks to Manscaped.com. Yes, you have to get your men the Manscaped products. Who wants somebody with a furry face? All that stubble scratching you or scratching, you know, other places. You know what I'm saying.
Pour Minds Podcast
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So the best thing about it is they can do this at home. And it has a charger, so if they want to take it on the go, they can do it on the way to the events, too. So y'all know when men be in between here because they want to take a little stubble off their face. This is the perfect thing to get. They have different packages and all the good things that you need for your stocking stuffer.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
So what you're going to do is go to manscaped.com and you'll get 20% off. That's manscaped.com. Get 20% off of your stocking stuffer. I'm telling you, you're going to love it. Period. Gift your man with the ultimate grooming experience by Manscaped and get him the Chairman Pro Package for the holidays. It's a thoughtful and practical gift that he'll actually use and love.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Get 20% off plus free shipping with the code POORMINDS at manscaped.com. That's 20% off plus free shipping with the code POORMINDS at manscaped.com. And it's your girl, Dre Nicole. And we have a very exciting announcement today. We have a brand new show dropping. Yeah, so we have a brand new show dropping, y'all, on Patreon. It's going to air on September 2nd, and it's called Porn Chronicles.
Pour Minds Podcast
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But before Lady Gaga, I don't think Beyoncé had collaborated with any women yet outside of Destiny's Child. Up to that point. I could be wrong. I could be wrong. She had this slim thug, bun B, all that stuff. Because this was before she did the Nicki Minaj feeling myself. You need to stop playing around with all them clowns and wankers. Girl, focus. Good girls got to get down with anger.
Pour Minds Podcast
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We're going to be doing so much stuff on there. We're going to be doing challenges. If you can't go to Belenose, where the hell could you go? If you can't go to Bella Noche, where the hell can you go? We're going to be doing talk to me, chit chat with me. We're going to be spilling a little tea. Oh, my God. No, you didn't. Oh, my God.
Pour Minds Podcast
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Everything y'all been wanting to see, we gonna be doing it right here on Patreon. Yes, y'all ask us for so much, but we finna give it to y'all every single Monday. And it's gonna be a time. Y'all know Poor Minds has grown into its own little entity. Well, we gonna have a lot of fun still over here at Poor Chronicles. So make sure y'all tune in September 2nd. It's going down. Stay tuned.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
It's time to get into the bop. The bop. Bow. The bop. Bow. Bow. Bow, bow, bow. Okay, what's your bop? What you been listening to? Oh, well, okay. This is like a song that's not necessarily new. But I feel like it fits the episode. And I don't feel like we've ever had this as a bop. Why are you making that face?
Pour Minds Podcast
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I know. You been cut up today. You said, you hurt my feelings. You did. I'm sorry. Because that's the thing people don't know about you. And I'm going to go ahead and say, I ain't trying to throw no shade, but like, licks be mean, y'all, sometimes. You do. You do. And the funny thing is people think I'm mean. People think I'm the mean one when really and for real, for real, real talk.
Pour Minds Podcast
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Because when you in your mode, people know not to fuck with you. People know just to be like, look at Ty. You think I'm meaner than Drea? Oh, damn. Thank you, Ty! I feel like... I'm not going to lie. What was the name of that movie Jamie Foxx was in? Was it Redemption? What happened? Was it Jamie Foxx? What movie? It was a movie. It was a movie called... Bitch, it was a movie called Redemption.
Pour Minds Podcast
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I feel like I'm having my redemption moment because everybody feel like I'm mean. I'm the mean one when in real life, Lex meaner than me. On camera, no. Okay, let me say this. But in real life, you is not with the bullshit. Okay, I'm not going to lie. And I do be. So, I did go off this morning. I went off real bad this morning. We had our makeup done. Shout out to, what's the makeup artist?
Pour Minds Podcast
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What's his name? Oh, hey, Gutter. Gutter did our makeup today, and he saw me go off. So, he probably thinks I'm a bitch, too. I didn't go off on him. It had nothing to do with him. But I was going off. Maybe I am a little bitch. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. You a little more mean. And, like, you be mean to me. Like, one thing about me that I... I think I'm mean to everybody.
Pour Minds Podcast
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Shay thought I was mean to her one time. Remember, Shay? Oh, you do be being mean to Shay.
Pour Minds Podcast
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Ty, have I been mean to you before? But let me ask, have I ever been mean to y'all? Oh, my God. Say, have I ever been mean to you? I don't think you're mean. I don't think you mean either. It's time to work now. And I think that be the thing too. When you be ready to go, oh, it get nasty. Okay, but let me say this. It's not about being ready to go. I be ready to work.
Pour Minds Podcast
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Okay, okay, but focus. What I'm saying is before the Lady Gaga collab, I think that was the first woman that kind of was like, Beyonce was like, yeah, I'm with you. Because Beyonce don't do collaboration.
Pour Minds Podcast
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Exactly. I'm always ready to go, but I be ready to work. Let's get this work done so motherfuckers can go home now. But the thing is, nobody be tripping on going home but you. No. You be the only one that be wanting to go home. You don't know that, though, because they work for us, essentially, so they can't be like, ah, I want to go home. Let's get these people in and out. Hello?
Pour Minds Podcast
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So, yes, it comes off a little mean, but let's get this show on the fucking road. 15 men's? Let's get back in here. Well, going back to our relationship, because, bitch, I don't work for you. But you still, like... I don't... You were spicy earlier this episode, and I'm like... Oh, no, I wasn't spicy this episode. I was emotional. Because I was like... You know, let's take it easy.
Pour Minds Podcast
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No, this is what you said. How do you... Well, he don't got to delete this part. But, no, you was like, well, if I could say... No, I did not say it like that. If I could finish... I said, let me finish my thoughts. Yeah, because I was trying to, because I know we, when we have conversations, we cut each other off. But I was trying to get my points about the documentary off.
Pour Minds Podcast
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And so it was an emotional conversation. So I wanted to get out. I was just saying, let me finish. It wasn't like, I didn't say it like that. Well, girl, first and foremost, you ain't got to talk me down because I know you. That's what I'm saying. And I'm also not really that sensitive, but I was just saying, whenever you be in your little mood, I'll be like... I'm not in the mood, though.
Pour Minds Podcast
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No, you not right now, but I'm saying whenever you do be, I'll just be like, okay, bitch, bye. I'm going to talk to you later. Because I just don't be having time for it. And I've learned how to deal with you. But your ass is way meaner than me. Because I'm... One thing about me, I don't stay mad. You... No, I don't. Oh, fuck no. Most I'll stay mad is for like a day. That's a long time.
Pour Minds Podcast
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That's not a long time. I don't stay mad for hours. Like, it'll be like hours later and I'll be like, okay, hey girl, you wanna go have drinks? No, you're bad. I'll see you tomorrow. No, you be like, bitch, I'll see you next Wednesday. Possibly. You be mad. I don't be mad. Not mad, but like... Like, get away from me. Not you, just people in general. No, me too. Just people in general. No, not you.
Pour Minds Podcast
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I'm feeling your vibe. That's why Quiet is is killed. They be hating on... They be hating on who? What I do? Go ahead. I know you ain't judging me after that outburst you just had. And Yvette gonna co-sign it. Because Yvette knows the music. Yvette got an ear. No, that's because y'all both Leo. She's co-signing your bullshit. I sounded amazing.
Pour Minds Podcast
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I've learned to like... I know you, though. Do you think that's a thought of mine? I feel like I've talked about that before on the show. Like, I've gotten into my man about that a hill of times. He be like, one thing about you... You don't take shit serious. No, it's not that you don't take nothing serious.
Pour Minds Podcast
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You think that we can have a conversation, and then because we had the conversation, tomorrow we gonna talk. And it's like, everything is cool again. You know that meme? You push stuff under the rug. You know that meme from, what's her name, Juicy, and she walks in the room, she's like, hey. How y'all doing? That's you. So it's not that you mean any harm.
Pour Minds Podcast
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You just be like, okay, we talked about it. It's good. Hey, we all fine. I mean, and let me know if y'all wrong. I would like to say, because people always be like, y'all be taking surveys. But who? Let's take a survey. Am I wrong? Like, I feel like... Once we have a conversation about some shit, it's over.
Pour Minds Podcast
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No, let me process that conversation and let me sit in my feelings of how you made me feel and your reaction to it. Let me process that. That's it. You got to sit in it? Yeah, I got to sit in my emotions. I got to sit in my feelings and sometimes I got to let shit go because if I talk to you right now, I'm going to go off. So let me sit in that shithole, Annie. We know. Yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
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I go off all the time, but I'm also... We know. I need a moment. Give me a fucking moment. And I don't go off at all. I just be like... You be cheesing, hey. Hey, y'all. I be like, get the... But you know, whenever people say we don't look, quote unquote, like we in our 30s, I feel like people be wanting to know my skincare regimen. Bitch, it's low-key the fact that I don't give a fuck about that.
Pour Minds Podcast
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Okay, Drea, what is your bop of the week? How do we get on this? What is your bop? Oh, Birds of a Feather by Billie Eilish. You already made that your bop. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. I did? Yes.
Pour Minds Podcast
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Oh, well, okay. It's going to be Sisters. I mean, not Sisters. What's that song by Brandy? Whenever I'm down.
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That's my song for the week. I love you. I love you too, sister. We done been through a lot. Oh, you gonna make me cry again? Don't. Don't do that. Okay. BBL Fester. BBL Fester ate down. I cannot believe people's in the comments like, is Lex going through something? The one week I was actually happy because they thought that you didn't dress up. And you weird. That's what I want to say.
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First of all, fuck you weak ass hoes. But I mean... Well, I'm not mean. I'm responding to the hate. Jocelyn said, and to the haters. So, grandma is a bitch. And to you haters. First of all, bitch, I did dress up. I was Morticia. You know what? I'm going to get to my bop, but I'm just over being a bad bitch for Halloween. I ain't never over being a bad bitch. Can't relate. I know.
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I just feel like being a bad bitch for Halloween, I'm like, why? It's me. It's who I am. Listen to this. It's embedded in my DNA. You're supposed to be fucking Tommy Pickles. Why is your ass hanging out of your diaper, bitch? Why is your pussy lip out of your diaper? Why do I see your nipples through your baby shirt? Bitch, first and foremost. And you're supposed to be Tommy Pickles.
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Like, I'm just, I just think, like, don't get it twisted. If you're in your 20s, whatever, 30s, everybody have fun with it. But when you a bad bitch every day, do something outside the box. Well, first and foremost, that's real rich coming from BBL Fester. BBL, but I wasn't attractive at all. You was, though, because your ass was still ass. But I, because I had to do that.
Pour Minds Podcast
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But I covered it up as much as I could. But Fester was still going to shake a tail feather. I ain't going to lie. BBL Fester was a crazy name because it sounded like a disease. Fester? Anything festering don't sound right to me. I make this a challenge to all the baddies of the world. Next Halloween, do something outside the box. Be something really horrifying and scary or funny.
Pour Minds Podcast
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Get in the booth, bitch. I ain't been a baddie for a long time in Halloween.
Pour Minds Podcast
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Because last year... Because you was that schoolgirl and I was like, you had the ass out. We went outside, you had the whole ass out. That was so lame. Oh, my bestie calling me. Okay. My bop of the week. Y'all know I love a good TikTok bop because let me tell you, TikTok will put you on some amazing artists. These are small artists that just post their songs. They happen to go viral.
Pour Minds Podcast
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So my bop of the week is called I Love You, I'm Sorry by Gracie Abrams. She's like an indie artist. Y'all, this song is so good because I love a good, like, heartbreak song. I love to sit in my room and listen to good lyrics and good... I love girls who play the guitar. It's something about a girl that can pick up a guitar and pluck some strings.
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Well, what I will say is... What was it? Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I don't. Ate that up. Something about women who play the guitar. Doesn't Summer Walker play the guitar? Do she? Yes. Yes. I mean, it's something about women that play the guitar. They be wildin' though. India Arie is just... That's an artist. That's when we used to make music. A beautiful woman inside and out.
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Like... Well, you don't... You can't say inside. You don't know her. You don't know that lady. Well, from what I see, but she's beautiful on the outside. I loved her. I remember growing up, I'm like, from what I see, I think she is beautiful on the inside and out. Well, what I see, she used to be online wild, and that's why I said what I said. But beautiful lady.
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I used to love her hair and how she would just, like, have it up. The wraps. The big earrings. I was like, oh, my God. And the skin tone. Yes. I'm like, that was like, when I used to look at her, I'm like, that is what, like a beautiful woman. Like, that's a beautiful woman. Shake your legs, though. Don't listen to that part. I see. Brown skin was a hit. Okay.
Pour Minds Podcast
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Yeah, my bop of the week, I love you, I'm sorry, Gracie Abrams. It's like going crazy on TikTok, and it's such a good song. It's like a little indie song, so I think y'all will like it. Okay. You know what I had? No, we're not doing this. Let's rap. Okay, real quick, though. I got to go to Brazil, bitch. This is my sorry for 2004. And I ain't going to mess up no more this year.
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You was saying... Oh, why does this cup? That's why they be hating on Meg. Oh, yeah. Because having Beyonce on a track is a big feat. No shade, no tea. Who else? Of all the new girls, nobody has a Beyonce feature except for Meg. Now, we got to give that to her. Yeah. We got to give that to her. You gotta give everything to her. I love me some eggs. And speaking of... Come on, let's talk about it.
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I'm sorry. For June. I'm sorry. For July. I'm sorry. In case I don't tell you. Well, that song that you had reminded me of that because it was like, I love you, I'm sorry. And I was like, what about Ruben Stutter? Somebody said on Twitter the other day, and I concur, they said Ruben Stutter ain't nothing. I mean, Rod Wave ain't nothing but Ruben Stutter. Why was I getting my lashes done?
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Shout out to Jay. I started getting my lashes done again. And she was playing Rod Wave. I'm like, why are you so angry? They was like, Rod Wave ain't nothing but Ruben Stutter remastered. He said, I think I'm part of the century. I said that. And people came over. No one was sober. And it was all for you. And then your kids be like, and it was all for you. And we be over here like.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
When he was sitting on the stage and he was in that house and he fell backwards. I said move. On that mattress. You did say that.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
You okay? But shout out to Rod Wave, because you know what Rod Wave is?
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
You know what Rod Wave is? Ruben Sutter. No, no, he's not. Rod Wave is just an international or global or national zero. Zero chose to be a huge... Because he's... Zero is content... He makes music... And he chose to stay in Houston and to stay, you know, in the southern regions. But people love Zero all around the world.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Like y'all did not do. Y'all did not get in the booth big. So obviously... I didn't say... That's all right. I did it. I did good.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
But he chose not to take that route of being a literally global superstar because he wanted to do shit his way. I know Zero is a real nigga who's, he know that real depression. Raw Way be a little fake with it. Row and Trey, as host by nature, no doubt. Tell me, nigga, can you stand the rain?
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
I hate you, bitch. I never thought I'd say I hate you, bitch. Like, that's a real depressed nigga. Ron Wave, take notes. Time after time, I'm on the grind for you. Yeah. That's what I'm trying to do. See, I am a man trying to do all that I can. But you act like you ain't nothing.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Y'all niggas ain't got to fuck with me. That's how that nigga was like, I don't fuck with y'all. And that's how I've been feeling about you niggas my whole life. That's why you was biting niggas. Tell them. That's why I was biting you niggas, because y'all ain't got to fuck with me. So, yes. Shout out to... No, and this is no shade to Rod Wave. I was joking. Rod Wave is amazing.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
No, we love Rod Wave. He's an amazing artist. Amazing artist. But I do feel like, you know, Rod Wave is like the new age zero. If you really listen to Zero's music, if you are a young person and you love Rod Wave, go listen to Zero. I guarantee you, you'll like it. We putting y'all, like seriously, we're putting y'all on some new shit. Go listen. If you love Rod Wave, you gonna love Zero. Love it.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Let's get into the dots. Because we ain't chatted about the dots. We haven't chatted about the dots. We have not chatted about the dots. Ty? Shakira and Missy Elliott. Shakira and Missy Elliott before Lady Gaga. Shakira, Shakira. That's fair. Also, let's not kill the drama.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
That was a lot of lighters, bitch. Well, bitch. Where you got them 20 of them from? 25 was a lot, too. But you said 45. Something done happened in that. Because Ty, first of all, she put wine. Oh, it's Ty's fault. I get it. I know. It is her fault. Ty, why? Why, Ty? Why? Why, Ebony? Why? What's up, y'all? It's your girl, XP. And it's your girl, Dre Nicole.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Y'all know we have a segment on Poor Minds called Item of the Week. But do you have a product or something that you want to promote and you want it featured on Poor Minds? Your opportunity is here. Period. If you have an item or you have a business and you want to get it promoted, we are now having slots available on the Poor Minds episode.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
So if you would like to get your product featured for Item of the Week, all you need to do is send an email to itemoftheweekpm at gmail.com. That's I-T-E-M-O-F-T-H-E-W-E-E-K-P-M at gmail.com. Send us an email and we'll work it out. We're going to figure it out. Get your product, get your business sponsored, and, yeah, make you some money.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
And a black business at that. But, I mean, any business is welcome.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Any business is welcome. Hey, y'all. It's Drayna Cole, CEO of Muse Beauty. Are you ready to take your beauty brand to the next level? Well, I've got something special just for you. I'm introducing the keys to a successful e-commerce brand e-book.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
In this guide, I spill all of my secrets on how I built Muse Beauty from the ground up into a global beauty brand, serving thousands of customers from all over the world. From defining your brand vision to mastering marketing strategies, this book literally covers it all. plus exclusive highlights and tips that you won't find anywhere else. But wait, y'all, it's more.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Check out my curated vendors list featuring over 50 top suppliers in the beauty, fashion, and packaging industries. Whether you need cosmetics, accessories, clothing, or chic packaging, I've got you covered. So what are you waiting for? Go to www.musebeautycollection.com and get your e-book, your vendors list, or you can bundle them both together.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
All right, why y'all read one today so we can wrap this up? I got to go to Brazil. Hey, Lexandrea. Hey, Lexandrea. First of all, thank you both so much for everything you do with your show. You both truly make me feel seen, make me laugh, and make me feel included as a black woman, and I love y'all down. So I'm going to try to make this short, but it's a toughie to me. LOL.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
So I have had a male best friend since middle school. We've been knowing each other for maybe 17 years now. Like all friendships, we've had our ups and downs and phases where we're closer at times than others. Lately, we've been in a good place, but I can't help the fact that sometimes he irritates the shit out of me with his flamboyance.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Oh, Fighting Temptations? Yep. I'm just fighting temptations. And Missy Elliott wrote a lot on Destiny's Child. And shout out to Free, because that was the one song Free did, and it was... What is funny? Nothing is funny. First of all, that was no shade. I love me some free. She walked so we could run. And she never laughed at AJ with his lace front dream. Okay.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
And sometimes as if he doesn't make an effort to be happy or pour into me as I do him. Let me give you some examples. We live in two different states. So when we talk on the phone, it's about work and our social life. And I know his manhood and confidence is low. So I always make it a point to uplift him and validate him and congratulate him on his work accomplishments and adversities that he has.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
But I feel like he doesn't return the favor. Like when he was interviewing for an assistant director position for months, I listened and validated him and and even helped him interview prep. But when I tell him about my work adversities or accomplishments, he's very dry and doesn't inquire more.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Then the masculinity thing is so frustrating because he says he's not gay but hasn't had sex in eight years. He has piercings all over and carries himself like a woman with his mannerisms, hand movements, and even the way he touches himself or looks in the mirror or inquires about his clothes. My question is, am I just being a bitch and not accepting him?
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Can you give me ways to find out how to accept him a bit more, or should I just put boundaries in place? Hope to hear back. Love y'all so bad. I'm not gonna lie. I was with you in the first half, but you was being real juicy. I was with you in the first half, but that last part rubbed me the wrong way. Because who cares that he has feminine mannerisms, he has piercings, he hasn't had sex.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Let him be comfortable, and when he's ready to talk to you about whatever it is, Y'all have to learn how to be better friends. I will say this. The reason that I said what I said initially is because if you don't like it, just stop being his friend. Simple as that. Like, you asking us, like, how should you navigate the situation?
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Bitch, if you don't want to be friends with him, if you don't like all of these things, this laundry list of things, stop being his nigga friend. Like, you ain't got to be... Nobody forcing you. Nobody forcing your hand. B1B, like, zero. Or... Or... A... First things first, I'm the king of the ghetto.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
First things first, I'm a realist. Okay. You know, that's a long one. Zero said, first things first, I'm the king of the ghetto. First things first, I fucks. How does it go? First things first. Bitch, I don't know. That's Biggie. What's the song? First things first, I fix all the honey. That's what it is. Come on, Ty. Wanting money. Those are the ones I like because they don't get Nathan.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
But penetration, unless it smells like sanitation. Hey. Black and ugly as ever. However, I stay coochie down to the side. Ooh. Okay. But, like, no. I just feel like... What the fuck is wrong with people? Like, y'all... I love y'all. For real. Shout out to Monique. Girl, come on the show. Um...
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
I love y'all for real, but when y'all be writing us sometimes, I be like, do you really need advice on this? Like, do what's best for you. Well, no. I think they be needing a little guidance, so I'll say this. If you don't like this... But if you don't like this nigga... But it seems like she loves him because they've been friends for so long. So let me say this.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
But you don't because all that extra shit... But the first half... Because I'm not going to lie. If I'm talking to a friend and they don't inquire what I have going on, I'm going to say, like, honestly, I feel like I'm always pouring into you and you don't give that back. Tell him. Tell him how you feel. If nothing changes, set a boundary, and if nothing changes from that, cut him off.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Now, I do disagree with you as far as how he dresses, piercings. Who cares if he's gay or not? His sexuality doesn't matter. Are you fucking him? No, who cares? But that's the point that I was about to make.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Like, I would never write an email to somebody asking for advice on my friendship and then being like, yeah, but you know, she done fucked mad niggas or she done did X, Y, and Z. Why is that, like, a prerequisite? It's giving, Kelsey. Why did you put that in the message to begin with?
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Because his sexual orientation and what he like, it's not going to make me and Lex make a different... Like, you know what I mean? It's not going to make us form a different opinion about the situation. One thing I always say, right... And it's so funny because I feel like as the show has evolved, I too have evolved because we don't get these comments anymore.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Do you know how good of a... Okay, bitch. But no, for real though, that was no shade. Like, shout out to Free. I want, me and you talked about this on a recent episode. Like, I want to do a hit and it be like that hit. That was a hit. You know who else had a hit under her belt? Who?
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
I used to always tell people, leave that nigga. Leave that situation. Like, that was always my advice. I feel that way still, though. I feel like now I try to give more of, um... Yeah, more of an in-depth analysis, an in-depth response. But I truly feel like people's number one problem is like, y'all be acting like y'all so afraid to leave situations that no longer serve you.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
If you feel all of these ways, because I feel like all of that stuff that you said, and sis, I fuck with you. I appreciate the fact that you're a listener of the show, but sometimes I be feeling like y'all just need real advice. You said all of that, and then you brought it down to like his sexual orientation. His mannerism. His mannerism and all of these things. That's crazy.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
I kind of just feel like you don't even really want to be friends with him no more. But you feel like y'all have had a long-standing relationship, so, like, let me work this out. That doesn't matter. If it doesn't serve you anymore, bye. You know how you know you don't like somebody no more? When literally, like, they can shoot and it gets on your nerves.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
They can say hey and it gets on your nerves. You don't like him no more because you're talking about his mannerisms. I can't help my mannerisms. This is who I am. It's me. So just reevaluate that friendship and I think you need to take an exit. I think so, too. All right. Y'all make sure. Y'all go to MuseBeautyCollection.com. LoveLakesP dropping soon. Dre's YouTube dropping soon.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Dre and Nicole with three E's. Follow Poor Minds. We're going on tour soon. Dates dropping soon. Go to Patreon.com backslash Poor Minds. New episodes drop every Monday. Early episodes drop on Wednesday.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Y'all make sure y'all share the content, like, subscribe, follow, all that good stuff. And let me say this before we close out. Y'all, there is one Twitter account that is connected to Poor Minds. It's P-O-U-R underscore M-I-N-D-S. Y'all are tagging the wrong Poor Minds page. If you see at Poor Minds with no underscore, that is a fake page. Do not follow that page, okay?
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
They blocked me, Andrea, and the Poor Minds page on both. So we only have one Instagram left. One Twitter. One TikTok. It is P-O-U-R underscore M-I-N-D-S. All right? And we got a hella fake Facebook page. Oh, the Facebook page. It's the one. Our Facebook. The crazy thing is our Facebook page actually have the least amount of followers. So if you on Facebook. The one that's ours.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Got the least amount of followers. The one that's ours. That's not us. It's got like 250,000 followers. But y'all would know it's fake if you actually look at the content because the caption is like, whoever it is, don't speak English. Because their captions are like, Bamba Claude. Should men pay bill? Should men pay bill? Yes, no. Check answer below. Block, block. Booyah, booyah, booyah.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Got the sugar. Got the spice. Got the spice. Keep it right, right. Yo, I just made a move up last night. An icon. A legend. Angie, come sit on the couch. Yes, Angie. And free. And free. And AJ with your wig. He ain't coming. He ain't coming. Oh. Okay. But back to the documentary. Let's talk about the documentary. Let's chat about the documentary. What if he have alopecia? That's fine.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Hit it, Drea. I want your love and I want your revenge. You and me could have a bad romance. I want your love and I want your revenge. You and me, we're right about romance.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
We love you. You're amazing. Watch out for Roma! Can you sign my boob?
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
There's nothing wrong with having alopecia. You know what? Speaking of Alopecia. I'm not saying nothing wrong with it, but I'm saying. There's a whole community of TikTokers that have millions of followers with Alopecia, and they are so beautiful. They are. I mean, she does her makeup so good. I wish I could shout out her name. Oh, I forgot.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
And there's so many girls with Alopecia who like... They rocky. They rocky. So rocky. And they be rocking the fuck out that shit. Like, I don't think I could ever go bald. I think you could. You think so? Yes, I think it's all about how... Ooh, you got that nugget.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Okay, I'm sorry. Okay, no, for real, though. I have a small head. Like, whenever I get... I do, bitch. I'm not saying... My hairstylists be saying different. They always be like, your head is so small. Yeah. You a shady bitch. I'm not. I'm listening. Dre, I promise I'm listening. I haven't said a word. I haven't said a thing. I'm on your ass. Poet. Dre lately. No, for real though.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
I have a small head, but the problem is I have a dent in my head. That makes sense. Bitch, what? No, I mean like that makes sense why you would never do like an extremely strong... You know they say when you have a dent in your head...
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
No, for real though, I do. Like, it's right here. Okay. Dip a little bit. Dip it low. Do you have a dick in your head? No, I don't. You don't? You don't have a soft spot? I have a beautiful head. A big head. You know what's crazy? I don't.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
You remember when I went viral on Twitter? This was years ago. I went viral because they were calling me Lil Head Bae because my head looked small because I didn't have no wig or nothing on. Who head looks small? It literally went viral. They were calling me little head bae. I'm so serious. That was because of your titties, though. No.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
I mean, maybe so, but... I think that's like... But no, but what I'm saying is... Why did you look at me like that? When I get my hair done, they say the same thing. You know, I just got that wig made. She was like, oh, girl, you got a small head. Every time I got... Oh, you can have a small head, but I can't. That's crazy. I didn't say you couldn't have a small head. That's nothing.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
I looked at you when I was listening. You took some... Bitch, no. You was like this... Yeah. You wasn't believing, you wasn't feeling what I was saying, but that's crazy, though. I do feel like your head used to appear smaller when your titties was bigger. They did. And you had that short haircut. Mm. I love that era.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
It was really like, people say you look like Toni Braxton, but it was really you. You know what's so crazy? You had that short haircut. Life is so crazy because people always talk about my short haircut and how much they love it. And they're like, oh my God, Lex, you were stunning. But you was having a mental breakdown. Bro, I was fucking like, let's just drink a little mimosa with bleach.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Yeah, let's talk about it. You want to chat? You wanted to have a chat about my short hair? That went dark. Let's talk. Let's talk. Which way? Excuse me? Yeah. You want to chat?
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
Yeah. Now, I remember, though... I remember when you called me and you had cut your hair off and I was like, okay. Because remember, I cut it. But your face is so beautiful. It's like... Unreal. I was like, wow, you crazy as fuck. Because why did you just cut your hair off spur of the moment? I cut my hair. But you looked so cute. I loved it.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
I cut my, well, when I first cut my hair, I called you, but my hair was messed up because I don't know how to do hair.
Pour Minds Podcast
Get In The Booth
So my sister actually had to come and fix my hair. You thought you was a nigga from the Southwest so bad. What? Because you used to be going to get edge ups, designs. I was like, girl, what the fuck? Never got a design. It's giving real niggas. A design is crazy. A design? Why would you just say that? Lex, you did. Ooh. Yeah, say it. Ooh. Ooh. Say it. Ooh.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Naughty
I pray for someone like you. Hey. And I thank God that I finally found you. Oh, baby. Pray for someone like you. And I hope that you do love me too.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Naughty
The white girls be like, oh my God, it's so good. I'm about to, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Naughty
Miso horny. Man, bye, y'all. We'll see y'all next week. Bye, bye. That's enough out of you.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Naughty
night. Holy night. Sing it, Drea. All is calm. All is bright. Round yon virgin mother and child. It's so tender and mild Sleep in heavenly peace Sleep in heavenly peace Go on and rest your mind. And sleep. And heavenly peace. Fallen night. Fallen night. Fallen night. Shepherds quake at the sight. Glories stream from heaven afar. Heavenly hosts sing. Christ the Savior is born.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Star Was Born
with these tequila tequila towels alright and Drizzy Drea who the fuck is that me what's the name Drizzy Drea and you are no I'm not shit leave me out of this bitch Lex Kelly Lex Kelly
Pour Minds Podcast
A Star Was Born
We'll be drinking, sis. Okay, girl. We're going to call this one 30 Glow. Ooh.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Star Was Born
The floral notes of Saint Germain or elderflower liqueur capture her grace and magnetic energy.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Star Was Born
Birthday sex. Girl, you know I. Girl, you know I. I was doing the background.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Star Was Born
She's back, y'all. It's Todd. It's Todd with these tequila. Tequila Todd.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Star Was Born
I think I'm ready. Been locked up in the house way too long. It's time to get it. Because once again, he's out doing wrong. And my girls are so real. Said it's been a minute since I had some. He's been acting up. But he won't be the only one. Because when he acts wrong, that's when you put it on.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Star Was Born
This is your song. Hold on your back. Time to impress. Pull out your freaking dress. Oh. Put your freaking dress on. Oh. Put your freaking dress on. Oh. Every woman got one. Shut it down when it's time. Pull out the big guns. And put your freaking dress on. Put your freaking dress on. Put your freaking dress on. So now you saw me. Turned out about how the dress was fitting tight.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Star Was Born
It was short and backless. Seeing my silhouette in the moonlight, it's such an attraction. Ooh. Keep telling me how my outfit's so nice. Well, did he know? My man gonna take it off tonight. Because when he acts wrong, that's when you put it on. Man, I'm on time. This is your song. Tell him to get back. Sounding impressed. So watch your freaking dress. Oh. Put your freak gum dress on.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Star Was Born
I was doing your backup. You got your freaking dress on. It's your motherfucking birthday. your song. Hold out your bag. Time to impress. Pull out your freaking dress. Put your freaking dress on. Put your freaking dress on. Put your freaking dress on. Put your freaking dress on.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Star Was Born
I ate that towel. I ate the background. I love a little twerk. Yeah. Put your freaking dress on.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
You be on bullshit. Are you really asking me that? Yeah. I'm surprised you didn't already answer for me. I would never. Bitch, please. One thing about Lake, she gonna be like, cause yeah, cause Dre will be... I think you're a lot, but I think it's a ball of fun. I am a ball of fun. But did you die, though? That's all that really matters. We didn't die. I'm still here. What's up, y'all?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Shay be like, I gotta go, TT. I'm free. But then, no, that ain't even the bad part. She always come back and report nothing. That's what I be disappointed by.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I think that the solo episodes be good. I don't know. I get it, though. I think every guest is not going to be everybody's forte. Mm-hmm. You know, but at the end of the day, I still think that even if you aren't a super fan of somebody that's a guest, you can find a good little noogie or a good or a good little gem in the episode.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Shay ass is funny as fuck. Okay, okay, okay. But no, so yeah, so no, you wouldn't do it. Wouldn't dookie shoot it.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
No, I can't do that. I don't think, I think the price is not high enough.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
The price is not right enough for you. Yeah, the price, if the price, maybe, maybe if the price is right, but I just, it's something in my body that would just feel so. That you got to let out. No. And because, you know, when you make a video, you got to look at it to review it. I don't want to see that. I'm not looking at that. I'm just seeing. Okay. Anyways, what you been up to, girl? What's new?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
What's new? What's new? What's new? been working. I've been working on a lot of different things. I have some new products coming out. We ready. Yeah. I know. I'm excited. Yes. They're really, really good. I think everybody's going to enjoy them. And then I also have, like, so next year I'm really trying to, like, come out with new products every quarter, which is going to be a lot.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But I think I can do it. I know you can. So I'm really expanding outside of just lip products. So, like, I'm coming out with some new products that are not lip products this month. And then the first half of next year I'm coming out with some, like, eye products. Mm-hmm.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Yeah. I'm excited. So yeah, I've just been working on that. Um,
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
spending a lot of time talking to my mom because i don't know she's just getting older and i just feel like i need to talk to her more plus she just cracks me up your mom is hilarious old people tea be the funniest shit ever because it'd be no tea but they be thinking it's so hot it'd be warm coke that's what it'd be but everything it is so high like she swear she's spilling tea every day i'd be like i know this right in the senior community
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I love your mom down. I love her, too. But, yeah, that's really been it. I haven't really had nothing too crazy going on. Like, I feel like I've just been really focused on, like, work and, like, elevating and stuff. We have, like, really exciting announcements. Like, we have a very big announcement. We do. Like, crazy. I can't wait to talk about that. When we can.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Whenever we can finally announce it, yeah. But, yeah. So, I've just been kind of basking. And I've been feeling... Very gracious and, like, basking in gratitude. Mm-hmm. I told you that earlier today. Like, I was just like, I just feel, you know, so much gratitude to God for everything that he's blessed me with, everything he's blessed us with. Mm-hmm. From the flow. Who would have thought?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Who would have thought? Yeah, we just got honored, um... Oh, yeah, we did. The Media Girls Tour. Shout out to Jalisa. Yes. It was amazing. We did a little panel. We did. We got honored. So it was really like, okay, a full circle moment. That was our first award that we've gotten as a podcast.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
So it was just fun to, like, mix and mingle with everybody who's, like, movers and shakers in Atlanta in this space. And to be recognized and people like, oh, my God, Poor Minds. Like, when we walked in, everybody was like, oh, my God, Poor Minds is here. Mm-mm. So that'd be a good feeling to like step in the room and be one of the people that like they consider important.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
You know, like that's a big deal to be among your peers and they'd be like looking at you like, oh my God, Lex and Dre are here. So that was a good feeling. What else you had going on? Oh, gosh. I'm so excited. So, now I'm, like, winding down the date for the Love Lex P drop. I know y'all have been waiting, but it's been a lot of stuff I've been getting together.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I'm doing, like, a whole rollout for y'all. So, second week of Katy Perry. You know, you're good. I had something go down the wrong pipe. The wrong pipe. I used to think that was a lie, but... It's true. It's two pipes. Yeah, it is. You know, my sister's a respiratory therapist. She told me that. Oh, yeah. So...
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Like, I still think they'd be good episodes, you know, and I think that one thing I like about us is that I think like we kind of bring something out of people where people get to really see people's other side.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Ever since I was a little girl, I've loved being on camera, entertaining myself and everybody around me by sharing my thoughts and opinions on anything pop culture. For the past few years, I've heard your requests, but now it's finally time to deliver.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
What we drinking, Ty? I might need another one. I do need another one. I might take a little shot. Another shot? Maybe I'll slow down. No, girl. Put the pedal to the metal. Yeah, yeah. I just put a mint in my mouth, so excuse me if this sounds crazy. But we're going to call this one, since we've been talking about DMs, it's going down. We're going to call this going down in a DM.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
You never know what could come out of that. So this one is going to be, you know, fall, winter kind of theme is what we're getting some of those seasonal tastes on the palette. We have whatever spirit of choice, a little bit of orange liqueur. We have some pear juice or pear puree, whichever one you can access at home, a little bit of pomegranate juice and just a splash of lemon juice.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And then for Dre is we topped it with a little bit of champagne just to give a little carbonation, little bubble, make it cute. You can do like a French 75 at home type of thing. Then we have rimmed the cocktail glass with some caramel and garnished it with a pear and drizzled some caramel right on top of that. It's going down. That was delicious. It was. Did you just lick your fingers?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
That caramel tastes like me. I eat. Take caramel delight. Period.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
okay so i'm glad you said that because you remember you know our nephew owen b peasy yeah shout out to owen b peasy he has a song that's going viral on tiktok right now for real it's one of his like songs that came out in like 2017 uh-huh and i just love that for him i said go ahead nephew nephew yeah go ahead nephew and i seen him at the airport i can't remember if i said that on the show or not i seen him at the airport when i was going to la oh
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But yeah, I'll take a shot. I might as well. Oh, you cutting up. Might as well. I don't got shit else to do. All right. Well. What? Yeah, nothing. I'm just going to say today is a very chill day. Yeah, we're chilling. Today is a very chill day. Oh, yeah. It's outside at the end of November. It is. It is. But, yeah. And I have on, like, this little outfit. Y'all can get it on my LTK. Period.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But, you know, we not supposed to be... I bought this before that, though. Well, Walmart is set up like Amazon, so they have individual sellers and stuff on there. No, they do, but I was saying, you know, Walmart supported their men. Come to find out.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But I bought this way before that. But the thing is. If y'all still want to buy it, though, the link gonna be on my LCK. But what's crazy about it is, I mean, if we're going to do it like that, we really can't buy shit. All we can wear is Muse Beauty. Exactly. All we're going to be walking around. If we don't want to buy it.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
www.musebeautycollection.com That can be the only thing we can wear, though. Not really. For the most part. What about now? Because honestly, I'll be getting my hair and stuff from overseas.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But what I'm talking about, like the clothes, like if you want to go shopping at any of these stores in the mall or online, nine times out of 10, if it's something that is owned here, it's going to be from somebody who supported Trump. You think so? I know so. That's why we don't get me started. All right. Let's get into the person. What's up, y'all? It's your girl, XP.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And it's your girl, Dre Nicole. And we love saving money. And I'm going to tell y'all how we did it using RocketMoney.com. RocketMoney is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Yes, I love RocketMoney because one thing about me, I always forget about my subscriptions.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And they be taking $10 here, $50 there, $100 there. And I be forgetting that I even signed up for this stuff. So with Rocket Money, you don't even have to call customer service. They'll cancel it for you with one tap. Yes, they have saved members up to $740 a year. I don't know about you, but I could use a little $740, especially during the holidays.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's premium features. So what you're going to do is go to rocketmoney.com backslash poor minds. That's rocketmoney.com backslash poor minds. Sign up today and save your money. Period.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash poormindstoday. That's rocketmoney.com slash poormind. Okay, so I wanted to talk about this today because I just think it's interesting because I saw a lot of people's perspective on it. And I just wanted to kind of give, let us give our two cents.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
So I wanted to talk about being friends with... or dating a contrarian. Now, if you don't know what a contrarian is, the definition is a person who opposes or rejects popular opinion. Okay. So somebody who just kind of goes against the grain or somebody who's just always disagreeing with things that people have to say. So for example,
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
If you get on Twitter and you are like, oh, my gosh, I really love blueberries. Blueberries are so good. Well, actually, you really shouldn't eat blueberries because of X, Y, Z. And I don't know why you're eating blueberries when strawberries are better. That's like what a contrarian is. You know what I'm saying? So have you ever dated a contrarian? Or been friends with one? No. No, not really?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And he said something. So he was like, hey, auntie. Aw, we love him. And we like ran towards each other. It was like a movie. You know what I've always wanted to do? In slow motion. I've always wanted to like have a dramatic like airport scene.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I don't think so. I don't think so. But I think people in the comments will say that I'm a contrarian. Do you think you're a contrarian? Absolutely the fuck not. I think I just don't be agreeing with people a lot of the time. That's fair. But I think stupid shit. Like, what you just said is some dumb ass shit. But that's what they be doing. But that's what I'm saying.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Like, I think, like, for example, I think a contrarian is somebody who don't like Beyonce. That's just my opinion. Yeah. OK, because it's like you want to be so different. Yeah. You know what I mean? I think it's people like that. But the reason that I said that people will say that is because people be like, oh, Drea just always want to disagree with Lex.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
think i'm this i don't think i'm committed to disagree with you because i think it's a lot of times we could look back on poor minds history where i have agreed with you history poor minds has a history we do because it's been on for a long time what this would be like in t in television season 14 yeah we definitely don't like yeah like gray's anatomy ain't got shit on us
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
except for the pay facts but um but yeah like i just feel like if you look back on poor minds history it's a lot of times i agree with you because you make valid points a lot of the time and i do be agreeing with you but when i don't agree i'm very much hard down on me not agreeing because that's just how i am in general it's not even just the you thing i think i think it's easy for people to say that when they watch us because it's just me and you on the
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
but I'm like that in real life too like when I don't agree with shit I don't agree and maybe it's the Taurus in me just being real stubborn and like speaking with conviction when it comes to my beliefs but yeah no cause I feel like if something is popular
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
popular yeah it's not gonna be popular i cannot wait to see something that's popular and everybody is agreeing with it like i sometimes will agree with stuff too but then if i don't agree with something i really don't agree with it so this is why I feel like you're not a contrarian because I, um, to me, a contra, a contrarian is a person who listens to speak and they don't listen to understand.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
So it doesn't matter what you're saying, how many points that you're making that are valid. They're not listening because, and also I truly believe that when a person is a contrarian, they are specific to who they're being a contrarian to. Hmm. I don't think that they're contrarians to everybody. I think that if somebody doesn't like you, they're committed to misunderstanding you.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
So like I always use online for an example. If you never speak to me and you never say nothing to me online and the only time you talk to me is to disagree with something I have to say, it's because you don't like me. And it's because you just want to disagree with what I'm saying just to argue with me because you just don't like me.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
versus when me and you have conversations, it's not that you don't like me. You just probably don't. Lex, you wrong. Or Lex, I agree with this. Or Lex, I don't. We have debates all the time. It's different from literally having a debate and literally just fighting everything somebody says. And like I said, to me, all of that boils down to you just don't like that person. Yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
You just don't like that person. Because if somebody can say the sky is blue and you want to argue with them about it, you just don't like that person. That be happening to us all the time. All the damn time. They be on our ass all the time. We can say any fucking thing. And they be like, actually, no, bitch. That's not true.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Somebody had kind of tried to start a little something about the DeVille episode. What they said. They were just like, poor minds is just not the platform because... People can go on there and spew misogynistic views and they don't fight back. Well, my thing is... Is your platform the platform? Invite them on yours. But I also just feel like... That's what I always be wondering.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Like, shit, if you think you can do better... I'm not here to change somebody's... I'm not a contrarian. I'm not here to argue or try to change somebody's mind about anything. I'm not here to change anybody's mind who nobody listens to anyways. Right, right. Like, a lot of people be saying a lot of nothing and nobody cares. Like, the only way people will even see it or care is if we retweet it.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Right. So, yeah, there's that. But... And sometimes I be hating to be bitchy like that. But then sometimes I'm glad that I'm like that because I feel like one of us need to say... It ain't gonna be me. It's probably... Mm-hmm. One of us need to say it because people just be having us so fucked up sometimes. Oh, my God. You know what we are? What? We are... We are definitely, like...
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Elphaba and Glinda and Wicked. For sure. We are 100% that. They look at you like the villain, but you really are saving the world. You're like Thanos. You're really not wrong. Because low-key, half of y'all do need to be gone. You know what I'm saying? You bitches need to be gone. And I'm like, I'm definitely Glenda. I'm like, you know, I care about popular. Yeah. You're gonna be popular. Yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
That is us to a T. It is. Oh, my God. That is. Defying green. You're different. I think you... But that's what I love about you. Do I want a shot, too? Yeah, come on. Take it with me. Okay. I think that's what I love about you, though. I love people. Like, you just... When you believe something, you stand on business about it. I've always said I fuck with people like that.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And I'm going to be like, I have to go. I do. Let me go. Please. I can't do this. I definitely feel that way, too. I think we talked about that on the episode with DeVell. I definitely feel like I live my life like I'm in a movie. Yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
There's people on Twitter. I won't even shout out right now because y'all will probably drag me to the mud. But there are certain people on Twitter or Instagram, TikTok, that y'all hate most. Because they be saying some stupid shit. Now, do I agree with what they're saying? No. But I fuck with how they stand in they shit. And be like, yeah, I said it. Damn, you think that's me? Hell yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Yeah, sometimes you be saying something. I be like, bro, shut up. And you be like, man, I said it. I don't give a fuck. And I be like, bro. But, hey. On Twitter? Yes, but you stand in that shit and I like it. It be cracking me up because you don't give a fuck. And I love that about you. That's probably one of the main things that I really do love about you.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Like, you be like, you don't give a fuck. That's like, I be like, commendable.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Hold on, hoe. Get drunk, bitch, is nuts. I mean, but I'm saying, though. But, like, I know, like... Well, because I just... I just really feel like... It's not even that I feel sad for people. I genuinely, though, do feel bad for people who care that much about other people's, like... opinions of what they think or what they have to say.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Cause that has to be exhausting to like live your life based off of what you think other people think. Like I'm going to say whatever the fuck I want to say. It's a lot of shit. I feel like I don't have like super offensive opinions. I just don't have, I don't. Do you? Do you think I have super offensive opinions? I don't think you have... That I speak of... That I speak about publicly?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I don't think you have super offensive opinions. I just think... The life... People don't understand the life you have lived. So a lot of times... You are looking through the glasses of Dre and Nicole and you've lived this a certain type of life and people, y'all will never understand that. Unfortunately, some people just aren't relatable and that's okay. You know what I'm saying?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
you gotta romanticize things it makes it exciting yeah it does I don't know it's just I think main character energy okay that's what it is that's what it is more so because it ain't even necessarily a rom-com like I just always feel like I'm being recorded yeah and you just like and I'm just always kind of looking around waiting always trying to make sure you got my best side just looking like you're doing something
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Like people use this comparison all the time. Beyonce and Rihanna. Beyonce and Rihanna are both amazing artists, amazing businesswomen. They're extremely successful. Beyonce has made it this far and she is not relatable. And that's not a bad thing. She's been famous since she was 15. I tweeted this the other day.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I retweeted her because somebody was saying they were trying to argue that she was relatable when she came out with Upgrade You.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And so I retweeted the tweet and I just was like, oh, and they, because somebody else retweeted it and was like, and they posted a clip of the video and they were like, y'all were trying to say this woman was relatable because obviously she was talking about like expensive ass shit that we didn't know about back then.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And so I retweeted it and I was like, I'll never understand people's obsession with exceptional people being relatable. Right. And then on the other end, there's Rihanna. Because Rihanna is more relatable to me. I don't think. But let me say, because you're using upgrade you as an example. But Rihanna has always been saying, it's like I checked in to rehab.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
All the girls were, and you're my disease. We said it. But Beyonce talks about, but she cut all her hair off and me, myself.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
She went through a mental breakdown. No, I get it. But what I'm saying is Beyonce don't talk to us, which is not, no, that's not an issue. Rihanna talk to y'all? She used to. Hell yeah. Cussing y'all out? Yep. Yep. At least we can get to it though. I love Rihanna though. Cause I always say, I feel like I'm more Rihanna. I will cuss. Go ask the fuck out.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Your experiences, your life experiences, like, it gives like a Beyonce. Like, you like, don't know her. Mariah Carey, even. Like, you're like the old school diva. You think so? Yeah, you're like the old school. Like, when we are... At the pinnacle of poor minds, which we're nowhere near. But when we get to that, to where we're like, okay, this is serious. It's definitely going to give like...
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
You been that girl. Because, I mean, you've been that girl. So that's what I'm saying. But I think people need to understand it's okay. Not everybody is relatable. But are you nice? That's what I think matters. The true essence of intelligence is understanding people that are not like you and understanding people that you necessarily don't understand.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Well, what I was going to say is to me being not being relatable is like not really the issue. I think it's more about who you are at your core as a person. Like, are you a nice person?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Do you care about people? Are you a decent person? Do you treat people with kindness? You should write a new 21 questions. I'm just I'm just saying seriously, but I don't know. Like, I think that's the stuff that. should more so matter than anything else. But going back to my initial question that I asked you, you think I have offensive opinions?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I think there's times where you said things, and I get where you're coming from because I know you, but I'd be like, friend, no. No. But I also feel like you relate more to the masses. So I think that's why you have that stance. But that's okay. Like, nothing is wrong with that. But I think that there's definitely always people who agree with you.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And then I think it's people who agree with me a lot of the time. But I think that majority of people agree with you because I think you always kind of have, like, the popular opinion. Yeah, I think you always kind of have the popular opinion. I think I kind of always...
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Cause I do feel like that. I feel like when I'm walking through the airport, even if this is why it's hard for me to like go out to eat by myself and do things alone. I do do it now, but I always just feel like people are watching me. Like I always feel like everybody's staring at me. Like I was at the bar the other day y'all and I'm so dramatic. Like I was going through something.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
want to say challenge people's thought process but sometimes it's just kind of like why do you feel that way or like why do you think that way and I think that's why people could think I'm a contrarian because I be really trying to understand like well what make you think that well I always try to look at things from everybody's point of view so I'll give you an example of something that you said one time somebody and this is actually going to get into our second topic okay so let's take our shot before I say what I gotta say because it's gonna lead into the second topic okay
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Popular. I don't know, she got some magic in her. Popular. I feel like I don't ever get as drunk as I do when Ty pour my drinks. No matter where I go. Ty had me messed up at Armani baby shower. I believe you. Shout out to Armani. Woo! Okay. Yeah! Okay, what you about to say? Um... All right.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
So what I was going to say was there was a time that somebody had tweeted and I'm not quoting it word for word, bar for bar. But somebody has said something like, ladies, stop thinking that you're going to get the beautiful, rich man that has all these things that's going to take care of you and have you live in a soft life. It's not happening. That's what she said.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And then you had retweeted and was like, why are y'all projecting on people? Because it can very much happen. Just say it can't happen for you. Yeah, I still agree with it. Right. So what I'm saying is I see where both energy is coming from.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
making money, look good, are going to treat you right, like, essentially, like, what every woman wants, the likelihood of the average woman having that happen to them and a man coming to save them or help them, invest in them, I mean, if we're being honest and real, that's not going to happen. Right. But then who's to say who's, like, who it's not going to happen to?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
So, like, you're putting this out there into the world because you've accepted that this won't happen for you.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
but like it will happen unfortunately it will happen for somebody but the percentage of it is I understand what you're saying as far as percentages that 100% friend I 100% get you like I get that I think I just hate negative-ass people.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Like, people like that get on my nerves because they be the people where it's like, oh, okay, like, life has dealt me bad cards and life is unfair and this could never happen. And this could never happen for me, so it's going to happen for all of y'all. Stop making people... Like, I think that as a woman, as long as you are really...
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
working on reaching your own goals and you have somewhat of a plan and you have a plan and you have things that you are trying to do for yourself if that's still something that you think could happen for you that's okay like why are you trying to kill people's hopes and dreams like i hate that's why i hate a dream killer that's why i hate twitter low-key for real or x
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
So I'm just sitting at the bar taking shots and I'm kind of like crying.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
That shit should have been named X a long time ago. They need to X that shit out. But no, it's like, why are you getting online being so negative? Like, it's like, yeah, that did not happen for you. Just like we've talked about this before on the show.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
We had somebody, I said this on another episode, comment, oh, y'all need to have kids in the next two years or, like, y'all should just not have any. Why when bitches is out here having kids at 43? Mm-hmm.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
45 not saying that that's gonna be me because personally I don't want to have a kid that old right right but at the end of the day it's women out here that are doing it so you're projecting okay you know and then they be like I even somebody left a comment under one of our videos and they under that video it was a clip and they were like um cuz realistically most of the time when you have a child in your 40s you're not even gonna live to see them be 20 and
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
You was at that place. You know I was. You know I was. You know I was. Was it karaoke night? It wasn't. It was bright and early.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
My mom and my dad adopted me. My mom was 41, and I think my dad was 39. My mom is still alive. My mom is 75. So, it's like... You did not eat that. You didn't eat that. Like, y'all are projecting. Because my mom had me at 20, and she died. Sex... You know? Like, you know, I'm not trying to be, it's not funny. No, no, no, no.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And I'm not, no, and I'm not trying to be funny, but I even said that in the comments as a rebuttal because it's like, you never know.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Somebody can pass away. laughing i'm not laughing but i'm saying no but you're right yeah y'all know what i'm saying because you never know when someone can pass away your mom can have you at 20 and not live to see you be 30 or 40 like it happens all the time so rude bitch age huh what a rude bitch yeah it was me no i'm talking about my mama oh you going to check out like this?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Goodbye. Her and Yvette had enough. Nope. They said it's time to go. All right, all right. Okay. But no, for real, I was just saying that to say like, Again, to me, it's just always projection. Yeah. And that's what I don't like. That's why I feel like maybe I mean, shit, bitch, maybe I am contrarian a little bit because I just feel like y'all fucking whack as fuck.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Y'all be having some stupid ass opinions. And just because it did not happen for you does not mean that it can't happen for the next person. Like, I just think that's such a negative thing. Even if you do feel that way, keep it to yourself. Okay, but bring in the second topic, though, because it kind of ties into, you know, what you were saying. Oh, how? I don't think so, but I'll bring it in.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Yeah, well, I just feel like... Certain things. And I don't want to say that it's about like equal or not, but I just feel like certain things are ordained for certain people. I think so, too. Yeah. So not every woman is going to marry a man who's a millionaire. That's beautiful.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And this and X, Y, Z. But that doesn't mean you can't personally be a millionaire, that you can't have all these amazing things. You may not just have that and a partner. And I just feel like everybody's path changes. is different.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But when we're talking about this specific, specifically with dating, you know, men who are well off, that kind of leads into the topic of the likelihood of it happening. Do you think that delusion is a good trait to possess? It depends on what you're being delusional about. I like what I've learned. I, I, the way my mind has changed so much in adulthood, I'm so, I'm loving getting older and,
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Like, for real, because the wisdom that I have now, if I had this wisdom at 24, do you know how bad I would have already done took over the world? The way I'm about to take over in 2025 is already about to be nuts because I have the wisdom now. But y'all are so lucky that I didn't get to this place at 24 because y'all are going to be tired of seeing me. So.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I say all that to say you got to be delusional about positive things, that no matter the outcome, it's going to be good. That's what I mean. Yeah, but someone be like, oh, don't be delusional about a man. Don't be delusional about a relationship. Be delusional about where you can go in life. You cannot tell me that I'm not going to win an Oscar one day.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
You cannot tell me that I'm not going to win. I know you're going to win an Oscar. That's why I got that wig still. Okay. You cannot tell me that our YouTube channel is not going to reach a million subscribers. You cannot tell me that we're not going to be picked. Like you cannot tell me nothing about anything that I'm doing career wise because I know how fucking good I am.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And I've only scratched like y'all have only seen this much of my talent. So I think it's good to be delusional about certain things. You know what I'm saying? I think it's great to be delusional. I think that everybody who is successful is delusional. I would love to have a panel one day. About delusions? I feel like we're going to get there, though.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I would love to have Oprah on a panel, Jay-Z on a panel. But I'm serious. You cannot tell me that. Jeff Bezos. All of these successful-ass people. Because I really feel like it takes a certain level of delusion. The audacity. The audacity that you think that it's going to be you that you're going to get there. You can make this type of money. You can reach this pinnacle of success.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Yeah, I think it's a great thing. But I said that to say that's going back to what I was just saying. That's why I don't like people like that. Because it's like, let people be delusional. Even if you feel like a bitch is delusional, let her be delusional. But that's why I said I wanted to talk about this. Because sometimes y'all delusion...
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
The energy and the effort has to match the delusion as well, though. It do. You got to be in the realm to receive the blessings that you asking for. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. What's up, y'all? It's your girl, XP. And it's your girl, Dre Nicole. And y'all know we're going to tell y'all in the new year, you are starting therapy today, right now. BetterHelp.com.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Yes, make sure y'all go to BetterHelp and sign up, y'all. It's no excuses. Therapy is so important, and especially in these winter months when it's cold outside, y'all know seasonal depression be creeping in. So you got to get ahead of it and make sure y'all get y'all a therapist. And it's super affordable, super easy to sign up, and you can change therapists if you need to.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
You know who it was that's like, hey, are you OK? I looked up. No, somebody really is happy. Yes. Yes, absolutely. He was like, hey, is everything OK? And I was like, OK. It's my moment. And what happened? Who was he? I looked up. There was an old, bald, white man. Who said, Edgar, if you don't get your ass back? That might be your savior. No, I was so mad. Remember Edgar? You are annoying.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Yes, so what you're going to do is go to BetterHelp.com backslash Poor Minds. That's BetterHelp.com backslash Poor Minds to get 10% off of your first month. Tell them Poor Minds sent you. Therapy with BetterHelp is affordable, convenient, and completely online, serving over 5 million people worldwide. Start your next chapter today because you write your story with BetterHelp.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Visit BetterHelp.com slash PoorMinds today to get 10% off of your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash PoorMinds.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
y'all it's your girl xp and it's your girl dre and nicole and we are here to tell y'all about our brand new ebook and e-course bundle pour into your pod yes y'all we have been working on this for a while and we're so excited to put it out and give it to y'all because we know so many people have been asking us for such a long time about how to start a successful podcast and we have literally put all of the information that we have and everything that we've utilized into this one ebook
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Yes, and this is not your typical e-book because I know what a lot of y'all are thinking. But I'm telling y'all, we give y'all direct access to how we built our brand. It's not no fluffiness and all that what I've read in e-books before. This is an e-book that gets straight to the point and gives you all the direction you need to start your podcast today. Absolutely.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And you can trust that we are putting 100% good information, no filter into this book. And it's going to help you build your brand. And it shows you exactly how we build poor minds and made it into a six figure. So make sure y'all head to poor minds.com to purchase your ebook or the e-course. And we also have it available in a bundle for you. So you can get both poor minds.com pour into your pod.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Anyways. Okay. So I saw a tweet. It's like actually a few months ago, but I thought it was a good topic to talk about. So it said one of the worst lies social media fed black women is that they all deserve good and or the same quality of men simply because they have a vagina. There's a lot of women who are perfect compliments of broke men. All women are not created.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
This should be shouldn't be treated equally. And so the topic I wanted to talk about is like all women are not created. created equal okay that shot got me stuttering yeah so i'm gonna say this before we start this conversation y'all don't take shit to heart these are just our opinions so the reason that i feel like this is kind of right but also they're gonna take it to heart
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
This is right and kind of wrong, because first of all, I believe that all people, man or man or woman, if you're a good person, if you're a good person, you're putting good energy in the world. I don't care how much money you make or not. You deserve to be treated with decency, bare minimum. So I have to say that about that, because she did say you deserve to be treated good.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Everybody deserves to be treated good if you're a good person. That's what I believe. And but to say that every person deserves, you know, this dream man, that's a millionaire. I don't like to use the word deserve, but I feel like there's somebody for everybody.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And going back to some old tea, that's why when the lady came on the show and she was like, if you're if you make under fifty thousand dollars, you shouldn't date. That was the stupidest shit I've ever heard, because there's people for like there's somebody for everybody.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
So there's some women who may not even want a millionaire because they don't want to do the things that it takes to do all that. They want to work and they want. There is a lot of women out there who like that partnership. They want to go 50-50. Stop shaming them. Now see Ty. Ty. Ty. See what. See. You see. But what you said, I always say can't relate.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
OK, but what I'm saying is there's nothing wrong with that. If there's a woman who wants to do 50 50, there is a man out there for her and they can have a happy relationship and be happy. Oh, yeah. So there's somebody for everybody. Do I? I certainly believe that every good woman and every good man deserves a good partner.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But the reality of it is not every person is going to end up with somebody who's extremely successful. Even these men out here, a lot of these men, they want a successful woman. They want a Dre and a Cole. They want a Lex P. The likelihood is very slim for them as well. It's just slim. It's hard. It's hard. It's like this.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
We don't have some characters. Yes, we have. We don't have some characters in our life, for real, for real. We always had some times. But it was fun, though. Honestly, I wish sometimes that I could go back to being that young and carefree, because I feel like, don't get me wrong, I do still have a certain element of being carefree, because I just think that's who I am naturally.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
to find Adrea, to find Alex, or to find a man, whatever men y'all want to use for an example. It's hard. So, I mean, she's not right, but she's not wrong.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
How you feel? I think life ain't fair. And I feel like people should just start recognizing that, number one. Because people want to believe, like, oh, if you got a woman who work at a Piggly Weekly... She's 25 or she's 26 and she work at the Piggly Wiggly. Ain't no way she ever going to meet a millionaire and be with him. It be happening, though. Ask Amber Rose.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I don't want to really ask her nothing. But all I'm saying is, all I'm saying is. I like that. What? Yeah. What? Fuck that bitch. You said it. I concur. That's that shot. It's in the shots. It's the shots. Blame it on Ty. Sorry, Wiz. I like Wiz. I'm sorry, Wiz. It ain't even about Wiz. It's about so many other things. I just said sorry to Wiz because he sat on the couch with us. Oh, okay.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Yeah, yeah. It's about so many other things, though. But, um... Yeah, I think that people, even with that tweet, like, it's like, oh, it's so many women who align with broke men. They do, but they still be getting them. They still be catching them one. Like, I don't know. Like, I think life just isn't fair. And I think when people let go of this idea of fairness. Hmm.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Ooh, they'll be more accepting when it comes to like, I'm not going to, I think they'll reach a new level of enlightenment when you realize that like life just ain't fair. Like shit happens because whatever you believe in, whether it's the universe or, whether it's the Lord, everything happens the way it's supposed to happen. Your path is your path and nothing that happens is accidental.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Nothing that happens is by chance. Everything happens because it's supposed to happen that way. And I think once people let go of the idea of fairness, they'll stop being so upset about a lot of things. But I think that's what holds so many people back is that
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Like even what you were just talking about earlier, I think that's why people be feeling like sometimes the way they be feeling about things that I say because people think everything is supposed to be fair. And I think I speak from a place of like, shit ain't fair. That is a bar that you said, though. I want to talk about that. That's a fucking bar. Wait.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
You have to accept the unfairness of life. Yeah, life is not fair. Nobody ever said it was supposed to be fair. Do you feel like it's fairness or entitlement that people are feeling, though? Like, do you feel like people feel entitled to receive blessings or these good things or just receiving all the things that maybe y'all receive or I receive? Do you feel like people feel entitled to that?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I think it's a mixture of both. I think it's a mixture of fairness and entitlement. It took for me to really have a deep conversation with my therapist to really realize that people feel like life is supposed to be fair. Who promised you that? Who told you that? Like, I'm not trying to be funny, even when you read the Bible.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Who told you, like, life is supposed to be so... They ain't read Revelations yet, that's why. Shit get ugly. It's getting sticky. No, for real, but it's, like, cool. It's like who told you who made you feel like that's the truth. Everybody's opportunities are supposed to be equal, even in the Bible. It was people who were poverty stricken and it was people who were rich.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I just don't take a lot of shit that serious. But I just feel like when we were younger, we was really living life on the edge. Doing anything. And everything. Like the first two things. Doing nothing and something at the same damn time. That's how you know. We be having mental telepathy. Oh, that was a big one. Telepathy? That's a good one. I really feel like we do be having telepathy, though.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
It was kings and it was servants like, you know, it was kings. OK, I know. But seriously, though, it was kings and it was servants, even in the Bible. So it's like that just goes. It was slaves and it was pharaohs. Like it just goes to show you like life is not life is not fair. And it's an unfortunate thing, you know. It's not fair. But that's just the way the cookie crumbles a lot of the time.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And I do think it's entitlement as well. Like people will look at somebody else and they'll be like, oh, they've reached this level of success. I'm doing the same thing. I'm in the same lane. Why haven't I gotten the same praise or the same accolades or whatever the case may be? But like the crazy thing about shit like that is and I talked to one of my friends about this the other day.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
because I was talking to her about something personal and she was just like, you have to stop looking at other people online and like feeling some type of way about certain things because you have to remember people only posting the good shit. So it's like, even with us, people look at us, they see how far we came. They seen everything that we doing awards. We getting opportunities. Award award.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
award bitch I'm manifesting claim it yeah I'm manifesting I'm claiming it exactly but they see the things that we're doing and then they feel like oh they didn't work that hard to get here like why do they deserve this and I don't I've been doing this for 10 years they only been doing it for five or six but you don't know what went on behind the scenes you don't know my struggle so you can't feel my hustle
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Boosie said a word now. He ate that. That's the truth. He did. I'm just saying that's real. It is real. But I was saying that to say like facts, though, like people don't know everything we went through behind the scenes and like not even trying to be funny because I feel like we say this all the time on the show.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But like some of the things I feel like I've been through in the past six years, most people would have folded and crumbled and would have and would not have been able to continue and carry on. in their career and do the things that they needed to do. But, like, that just goes to show you sometimes things are just ordained. And so people be hating on it or be feeling some type of way about it.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But, like, this is my pad. That's why your feelings and however you feeling or whatever you got going on internally can't stop what's going on outwardly with me because this was already ordained and it was already a part of my pad. And unfortunately... to play devil's advocate, sometimes it just ain't a part of your past. That's why it haven't happened for some people.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Maybe it's something else you should be doing that you haven't found your purpose, your calling. And that's why it hasn't happened. And that's why I want to say, like, I feel like everybody, everybody has a purpose. It's a blessing to find what your purpose is. I truly, truly, I realized this on the first tour we went on.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I truly realized my purpose on this earth is to make people realize, like, stick it out. Yeah. Keep going. Laugh. entertain people, make people feel good. Because I can be having the worst day of my life. This happens every time, which is crazy. I'll be having the worst day and I'll be like, what is the point? What is the purpose?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And then I'll get like a long paragraph of somebody telling us how we changed their life and how we make them laugh and how we... So... Like you said, I truly believe God has showed me like, hey, Lex, you're supposed to entertain these people. You're supposed to make them feel good.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
You're supposed to show them that this is what you can do if you don't stop and you keep focusing and you keep grinding and you keep working. Because I truly believe that everything is possible. Anything is possible, but not everybody has that mind frame. It's hard. When your brain, your brain is like, It's an organ. It's a muscle. It's going to do its own thing.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
So you have to have the power over it to control it. So I do agree with you on that, though. I do like certain things like the path is already there. God has that path. Are you going to follow it? Are you going to pay attention to what's going on? I think whatever is meant for you, nobody can stop it. I think that's why I don't really live my life in fear.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Like, obviously, it's times in my life where I've been anxious. And I think that's a normal emotion that everybody can, you know, identify with. I have definitely been anxious at times in my life because you just don't know. Like the crazy thing about life is you just never know what's going to happen next. And that's really scary. It's scary about it.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Because, like, we always know. We can just look at each other and, like, know what the other person is thinking. We be like, mm-hmm. We be like the type of friends, like, we can have a full-blown conversation without saying nothing. Without saying nothing. And we not, mm-hmm.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But I think that if you if you really hone in on having a good relationship with a higher power and it's like I don't be, you know, I obviously. Am a Christian and I believe in God, but I'm not really big on trying to push that on our platform because I just feel like, you know, like people have to. Do what they want on their own. Yeah. And have their own beliefs.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And I don't ever want that to be a reason why people think they can't listen to us because we just kind of trying to always push religion on them. But like, I just think that if you have a relationship with a higher power, with God, whoever you praise or whatever, like you got to always know that things are going to get better and things are going to work out in your favor. Yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
So do you believe all women are created equal? No. But I think for different reasons than most people think, though. Right. You think it's the mindset? Yeah, I think it's your mindset. Like, I think people be looking at surface level stuff like, oh, she work here. She don't make this kind of money that this man makes. So why would he be attracted to her?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
That doesn't have anything to do with anything. That's why you see all the time. So many women who come from low income, poverty stricken families who we ended up bagging them a multimillion dollar man. It has a lot to do. With so many different factors. I don't think all women are created equal. I think I don't necessarily think anybody is created equal.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I think God's put different strengths and weaknesses in everybody. So and I agree to say, like I said, I think all people are created equal, but I think people have different paths and people be trying to drive another people lane. And that's where you be fucking up at. Everybody to me, everybody is created equal, but your path for you is over here and it's a blessing and it's a great path.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But you so you can't eat off your plate because you looking at mine. You want to do what Lex P doing? You can't do what Lex P do, baby. This ain't for you. You ain't lying. Come on now. So that's what I'm saying. I think everybody is created equal, but social media and the way the world is now, you like, oh, well, look what Dre got. I want that. Is that what you want?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Or you just want it because you see where Dre's life is at and that's, you know what I'm saying? So that's how I feel. I mean, you could probably have it, but you shouldn't compare yourself to me. But what I'm saying is you can probably have it, but that's probably not even what you really deep down inside want. The want, everybody's wants are different. And that's what I'm saying.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But I think sometimes people want the same thing. They do. But sometimes you want something just because another person has it. And then when you get it, you're not happy still because that's not what you really wanted. Right. You was trying to do something because you're looking at your plate and you need to look at your own. What do you think, Ty? Do you think all women are created equal?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
okay okay so but yeah I like to romanticize my life I thought I was gonna have my like big moment have like this guy come up to the bar and be like you need saving and I mean he wanted but what if he wanted to save you he did he wanted me so bad cause I was like oh I'm fine and then like I got on the phone I was like arguing on the phone so I like went up and I got outside and I was like going off and so when I came back I didn't go sit at the bar again because it was too many people at the bar so I went and I sat at a table and he turned his whole chair around he was like
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I don't think everyone's created equal. I think that's my. And I think it starts. I think it starts young to the way you're raised, the people around you, your environment, how that shapes and forms your opinion, your perspective, your actions, your character. And then from there, you determine the energy you put out, the path. I think people can choose their own path.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Do things happen that you can't control and contain? But with those situations, it's about how you power through and how you move forward going through that. We've lost parents. That didn't stop us. I've been fired from a corporate job. I got a new one. You know what I'm saying? I've not had money, got money, getting more money.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
So it's about, like I said, the way you start, the way your character is formed, the way your mindset is built when you're younger, I think that also determines how you end up in the world and how you put yourself out there.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
What's up, y'all? It's your girl, XP. And it's your girl, Drayna Cole. And y'all do not forget to call our Shotline. I know you've heard of a hotline, but this is the Poor Minds Shotline. Yeah, we love to hear from y'all. Y'all need to call in, y'all. And this is not necessarily for questioning. You know, we just want to hear from y'all.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Like, we want to know y'all feedback, y'all thoughts on the show, or just what's going on in your life. So you can always call 678-827-1826. Yes, and y'all know, keep it short and cute. Don't be calling and letting us know about your baby daddy, sister, brother, cousin, boyfriend, okay? Well, I want to hear about that, actually.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Well, you know, they can let a little something, but you know, we want to keep it cute and short. Like she said, this is not questions. This is not pour your heart out. So just call, give us a little feedback, what you want to see on the show, any suggestions, what you think about the show. If you just want to simply give us our flowers, you know, or any, it could be anything.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
What's bothering you this week? What got on your nerves this week? If you just want to vent and get some things off your chest, call the Shotline. Again, the number is 678-827-1800. 26. Go ahead, Drea. So now it's time to get into W. Bow. W. A bow. W. A bow. A bow. Bow, bow, bow. Is makeup sex real? Or are you using sex to cover up the issue?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I think that a lot of times people use sex to cover up the issue. I do. Yeah, because it's like when you have sex, all of those endorphins are released. Yes. And I think momentarily you think that the problem is gone. But the problem's still there. Yeah. You was just horny. Yeah. And that's why I think it's so important to deal with a man and be a woman who doesn't let sex control you.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
So if you and your man are going through a tough time, I think it's very important to back away and be like, stop having sex. Cause things will come a lot more clear to you when you not riding that dick. Cause when I ride that dick, I don't care about nothing. When I'm riding that dick, I don't care. Well, I don't care momentarily, but I'm not going to lie. Momentarily?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But as soon as it's over, I'll be like, yeah, because back to the motherfucking... Yes, that's what I'm saying. But what I'm saying is like, no, because it said... It's makeup sex. Are you using it to cover up the issue? I don't be using it to cover up the issue. It's just like, we both horny. Let's go ahead. That. What? What on Mario Unset on that song? What? The damn thing.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
They was bumping. But sometimes, like, that's all it takes. But men do that because they just want to bump, bump, bump back that child support payment. No, no, no. I'm getting privy to what's going on. But you don't even know nothing about this. I don't, but what I'm saying is, but I've dealt with a man who, like, oh, I'm going to shut her up because I'm a... I'm going to make you blow your mind.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
He was looking for you. What's that Enrique Iglesias song? I can be your hero, baby. That's what he was thinking. He was trying to be your hero. I will stand by you forever. He was trying to be your hero. And look, what if you missed out on your blessing? Do you ever think that, though, sometimes? Like, imagine all the niggas you done curbed.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
He thought he was going to dig me down and make me forget what was going on. And what was going on? It was a lot of bullshit going on. But one thing that I've learned, it's important. When you and your man, I don't care what nobody says. It's not now. There's a difference. It's not about punishing your man. I do not believe in like, oh, he not acting right. I'm not fitting to fuck him.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
It's not about that. But if you are going through a tough time with the person that you're dealing with, sometimes it's okay to step back from the sexual that's going on so you can think right. We be getting dickmatized. The men be getting pussymatized. Everybody just...
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Ty. You know it. Am I not right though? I just want to go to the bathroom at this point. I have to take a break. What? That was too much. Alright. I'll be right here.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I truly believe that a lot of... But we don't like to talk about this, though. A lot of women, they be like, wanting to use their vagina, too, for that. Just like men like to use their penis to do things... We like to weaponize our vaginas as well.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I know that that's things that I've done in the past, but I think as I get older, I have realized makeup sex isn't real unless the conversation has already been had. Yes. So if me and you are going through a tough time and we haven't talked about it and you want to sweep things under the rug and you want to invite me over, you got Tito sitting on the counter. The lights is dimmed.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
You got a pot of beans on the stove. Them chili beans. He know what I do off them chili beans, now. Then you have sex after the beans? Hey. Oof. Stomach made of steel, now. Oof. Don't know why to see it now. Okay. But I'm saying, you showing up with all these good things, but we still haven't talked about the issue. Because one thing I can say is that people love to throw the rug over the dust.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
They like to sweep shit under the rug. And sex is the main thing that I feel like people use to manipulate. Sex is a weapon. Sex has started wars. Sex is the reason behind a lot of times why people are getting murdered. Y'all know I watch a lot of true crime now. I watch a lot of true crime. Nine times out of ten, somebody is getting murdered over some dick, over some pussy.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
You know what I'm saying? So I truly believe that makeup sex is a myth. It needs to be stopped. Stop trying to like cover up the issues by sucking dick. Because let me tell you, as soon as that man nut and you stop, you still don't want to talk about it. You finna get up on, you finna take them balls out your mouth, lay on his chest. And be like, so, like, did you really like her?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Because this is a solo episode. We can do what we want. I wasn't saying shit.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
You feel me? You can't do that. You can't do that. This is coming from somebody who was like, pussy don't feel me now. I got to turn this nigga so he don't want. Nobody. You know what I mean? See? Ty. I'm telling you, it's real. What did you put in this drink today? That caramel delight. It's real, though. So what was you saying? No, I was saying the same thing we was talking about.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Remember, imagine all the men you done curbed and one of them was supposed to be your man. Can I ask you something now that you said that? Yeah. I think about that all the time. All the niggas at the gas station. Okay. I ain't never seen nothing at the gas station I passed up. Maybe you have. But let me ask you this, though. Say somebody DMs you, right?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I was saying, like, sex literally just covers up things. It literally just covers up things. Oh, yeah. And I think that women also, because I like to get on the women as much as we get on the men. Men weaponize their penis, but women weaponize that coochie. You be like, oh, I'm finna put it on this nigga. He ain't finna be mad at me no more.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
No, I be definitely thinking my nigga gonna still be mad because I be on bullshit. You be on bullshit? are you really asking me that? Yeah. I'm surprised you didn't already answer for me. I would never. Bitch, please. One thing about Lake, she gonna be like, cause yeah, cause Dre be. I think you're a lot, but I think it's a ball of fun. I am a ball of fun. I like, but did you die though?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
That's all that really matters. If you didn't die, I'm i'm i'm still here here okay let's move on let's move on but for real though if you're still here then let's keep going like i do be cutting up that's it i ain't even saying nothing god damn okay go ahead my bad my bad go ahead that's why you should have kept the cameras rolling i thought it was i literally said i'm going to the bathroom
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But, yeah. No, go ahead. And you know how you be peeing and you think it's about to stop and then it's some more pee like... That pee was strong. It be like... You be thinking you done it.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
That lick of pee be different. Oh, and once you break the seal, you're fucking cooked. Mm-hmm. You're done for the day. Okay, so, Ed, what else you want to add? I was just saying, like, I just... No, I don't think makeup sex is real. I don't think that's a real thing. I think that you and that nigga are horny. Y'all fine. And y'all attracted to each other. And it's like, this is my man.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
We still about to tussle. Yeah, don't do it. We still about to tussle. The problem is still there. And I think sometimes, not sometimes, all of the time, you just shouldn't. But you know what's crazy? Me and my man, we done took like sabbaticals. Yeah, you did say that. We have. We've taken like two months from having sex and we still... to handle the problem. I'm fucking weak.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Sometimes for us, sex do be healing. Y'all be like, man, I really hate that. Because we be glad. People be like, I'm really not that bad. Actually, I love you. So actually, I'll take back what I said. Oh, no.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
sometimes makeup sex do be working no no no no you haven't had sex in two months with your man like if y'all cause like I said me and my man we really be taking like real like breaks when we be mad at each other if you didn't have sex for two months and then you finally get that that cutie Do you be ready? It's like the frustration. Gotta let it out. It's like the natural animalistic.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And he's like a good contender of like somebody you actually would deal with. But you're not like, you're not trying to deal with him right now because maybe you're in a relationship or something else.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
We're animalistic. Lex is right, though. Like, you need to make sure that it's, because she had a monologue about it. Like, you have to make sure that the issue is addressed. Addressed. And that's the point. Because at the end of the day, it feels good in that moment, but a week later, we're going to be arguing about the same thing. Mm-hmm. I don't have a clear mind after I nut. I don't. Why not?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I just don't. I feel like that's when you have the clearest mind. No, I'm like this. No, I don't.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I don't need that. I need a clear mind. Dick is hypnotizing. That's what I'm saying. I have to, I've learned that about myself though. This is something new that I've learned. But you a dick-matizer. What is that? You can, like, you be getting digmatized. But you know what it is, though? I get digmatized because it goes both ways. How?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
We both be fucked up. We both be skipping through the forest, biting that apple. Both of us. Both of us. So now we're going to get into. After that, what do you say? So let us know how y'all feel about makeup sex. So we're going to get into the item of the week. I'm so excited about this. What's the email for the item of the week? If you want your product featured on the show, please email us.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
We'll put it right here. Javi going to hook us up. So, y'all, I'm so excited to talk about this. We have a package from the Northside Princess, a.k.a. the one and only Sexy Red. Get it sexy. Get it sexy. So she sent us her. It says we thought you needed new look. We thought, T-H-O-T, you need a new lip. So, Sexy Red has a lip gloss line. And it don't drop until November the 29th.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But this probably drops the same weekend, maybe. I don't know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, first and foremost... A girl after my own heart. Because these are my favorite snacks. Let's know. Yeah, these are yours first favorite. This is my favorite candy ever. This is my first second. I love the Frawley gummy worm. You do. And I love the Nutter Butter. But you like the berries. The berry.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I do like the berry ones better. But yes, Nutter Butter. I'm about to eat this. I love Nutter Butters. And then I found them. I don't know. Are these flavored? I don't know, but they seem a little small. They seem very small. They very small. I don't know if I can. Latex condoms are intended to prevent pregnancy, HIV, AIDS, and other sexually transmitted infections. Okay. What's up, my girl?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I'm weak. And they say them kids' mom was sexy red, period. Thank you, girl. Thank you, sexy red. So, sexy red has her lip gloss line. I'm not going to try them on right now because I don't feel like taking them out. You need to. You don't got no lip gloss on no more. I know. I know. I don't. So, let me just read the... So, these are the names of her lip glosses. You ready?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I feel that. I feel like whenever this... Ain't no such thing as missed opportunity. So if the DM is still there, you can be like, oh, hey, I didn't see this. Yes, because I think if something... Because I feel like if something is for you, then it's for you. It doesn't matter the time frame. Like...
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Can I ask you a question first? How did you come up with the names for your lip glosses? What was the process you went through? I don't know. I don't even know. I feel like I was high. That's interesting. Fun fact. Which I never smoke weed. Right. But I was high when I came up with the names of my lip glosses. I had a euphoric moment. I like that. That's actually a good story. Yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
The names of her lip glosses are... I think it starts from... I don't know which way. Girl, if you don't read the goddamn... Okay, so it's Coochie Juice. Bootyhole Brown. This is Nut. This is Pussyhole Pink. Yellow Discharge. Gonorrhea. Blue balls and sex on my period. Now, let me see booty hole brown. Booty hole brown is the second one. It's giving like a light. But let me say this.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I'm not going to lie. I don't like blue balls. Remember that Keisha K.R. era of the lipstick? I don't think colored lipstick is anymore. I don't know how they show up. Let me try Pussy Juice. That's Booty Hole Brown. Yeah, I want to try Booty Hole Brown. But I will say, I like the packaging. It's giving my tribe. I like the packaging. It's giving like... Look how the influencers do.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
It's giving like... How it feel? My booty whole brown. It's cute, though. Y'all see? It's cute. It's giving, like, the beauty salon, the beauty store lip gloss, which I love. And it smell good. It does. Tastes good, too. Like, you can taste it. Oh, I'm sorry. It doesn't have a flavor. No flavors. But it does. It smells really, really good, y'all. I'm not gonna lie. And it goes on real juicy. Mmm.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Yeah, you like it. Ooh. I'm saying. Me... So it's not a deep color. It really is just a... It's more like a... It is more of a gloss. Oh, I'm not mad at this. I love it. Get it sexy. Get it sexy. Okay. This is cute. Yeah, this is cute. I like coochie. I like coochie juice. Coochie juice, I'm taking this home for sure. My gonorrhea can stay here. You know.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
at that current point in your life when that person reached out to you, you wasn't in the space to receive it. Like, now you in the space to receive it. And if it's for you, then it's gonna happen. I don't think it's a time frame.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
You are funny as hell for these names, Sexy, but I'm not mad. I think your lip gloss line will do well.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But yeah, I like Coochie Juice. It's clear. I like to keep it on the safe side. So, yeah. Thank you. Thank you, Sexy. Come on the show now. We waiting on you. What's up, y'all? It's your girl, XP. And it's your girl, Dre Nicole. Y'all know we have a segment on Poor Minds called Item of the Week. But do you have a product or something that you want to promote and you want it featured on Poor Minds?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Your opportunity is here. Period. If you have an item or you have a business and you want to get it promoted, we are now having slots available on the Poor Minds episode. So if you would like to get your product featured for Item of the Week, all you need to do is send an email to itemoftheweekpm at gmail.com. That's I-T-E-M-O-F-T-H-E-W-E-E-K-P-M at gmail.com.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Send us an email and we'll work it out. We're going to figure it out. Get your product. Get your business sponsored. And, yeah, make you some money. We love to support a small business now. And a black business at that. But, I mean, any business is welcome.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Any business is welcome. Now, it's time to get into the bop. The bop. Bow. Bow. Bow. Bow. Bow. Bow. Y'all. How are we going to have to do so much editing?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
We're having a ball. This is a good... I'm having a ball. Clearly. My favorite artist dropped another song. Who is your favorite artist? And I always used to talk about her, but she hasn't dropped in a while. So it was hurting my feelings, but she dropped. Tiana, Major 9. Dropped a single called Alone. I just love her. I want to give her all the support and love. She's just an amazing artist.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Like, what if it was like January and now we're obviously in like... Do you ever think about all the dudes who have like 300 followers who be messaging you who could... Be my king? Who could be your king and who could be rich? Um, it's not even about that. It's more so about... It ain't about who... It's not about who rich, but it is.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Her songwriting skills. I don't know if it's her songwriting or she has a team. Keep this team around and just keep dropping fire music. So Tiana, Major 9, Alone. It's just, I love relatable music because we all be going through it in these relationships with these men. So yeah, that's my bop of the week. Tiana, Major 9, Alone. Period. Okay, so mine is Ella Mai. She had... Go ahead, girl.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
That's fire. she got she dropped the good yeah so she drops her ep with three songs but hearts on deck is my song i really really like that song a lot what was the song she got she said you better get you one of these it's called one of these that's her song eight yeah so shout out to ella may yeah i like her because you know she had disappeared though yeah she got her she got her big fish
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I like when the girls do that. Shout out to Elevate. All right. So we are going into Pour Your Heart Out. If you want your question answered on the show, make sure you email us at askpoorminds at gmail.com. If you're a Patreon member, make sure you put that in the headline. All right. So question number one. Hey girls, I dated a toxic man for eight years.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Within the eight years, I found out that he dated my older cousin. Two years within the relationship, when they were in high school, I continued to talk to him because I was already in love and they were teenagers. Plus, my cousin gave me the go-ahead. But she never told me about their relationship and I never asked. My relationship with him was abusive and toxic. It ended back in 2023.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Fast forward to present day. My grandma recently passed away and me and my cousin finally got to talk about it. She told me that the dude was at my mom's funeral with her back in 2001. I was six years old at that time and he never told me. I was mad at her for not telling me this because it would have been over. I don't play about my mama.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But throughout the years, dude went up to my mom's grave site and everything with me and never mentioned that. I'm just not sure how to feel about that. What would y'all do? Even if you don't answer on the show, just answer it on here, please. Love you girls. Well, girl, you said that y'all broke up back in 2023. So I just wouldn't even say nothing no more.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Cause like, I just feel like when something, if it's a toxic and abusive relationship, you said you broke up with him in 2023. At this point, it's about to be 2025. I'm assuming that was over a year ago. You just need to let go.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
that shit die you just need to let that be what it is I wouldn't even feel no need to rehash a conversation with him about anything that has to do with my mom because it's like okay yeah he went to your mom's funeral when she died when you was younger I guess maybe he could have told you about that situation because I'm assuming he's way older than you but
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I think for me... It's not about that, but it is, though, at the same time. Because, like, I seen something the other day that said money is not the most important thing, but it's up there with oxygen. Oxygen is nuts. It is, though. I mean, I feel that. I think for me, though, it's not even about the amount of followers you have. Because I don't pay attention to a lot of DMs.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
If I'm trying to heal and move on, it's nothing for me and him to talk about. I don't care. Like, I think I've said this before on the show. Closure is a scam to me. Like, you don't need closure. It's more of like an ego thing. Mm-hmm. In my opinion. It's not even closure. You just need your ego to be stroked.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
you want somebody to try to make you feel better or give you like a resolve to something that you feel bad about um just let it go Cease I agree with that you and him over it was toxic he used to put his hands on you I'm assuming it ain't nothing for me and that nigga to talk about putting his hands on me oh sorry I was go ahead uh uh huh
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Read the next question. Read the next... Okay. I'm a 27-year-old woman with no... Because why would you say that? I don't know why my... I can't stop. I tried. I tried. Why would you say that? I thought I was sitting there the whole time and I stopped myself and it just came out. Okay. Okay. Go ahead. Okay. I'm a 27-year-old woman with no kids. My best friend is a 28-year-old woman with four kids.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Jesus. Exactly. Everybody shook. We've been best friends for eight years. I probably should mention that we live in different states and we haven't seen each other in person since 2020. The last two years of our friendship, it just seems like she doesn't make time for our friendship. Harvey don't know what to do. Okay. I just saw maybe two days ago that she's active on social media.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
She changed her profile picture to her and this dude, which confused me because we both know we both know that the man is gay. I said that to say I'll be peeping that she makes time to talk to dudes and go on dates. But when I tell her, hey, we need to FaceTime, she agrees. But it never happens. But yet sometimes she comes out the blue with tea or she asked to borrow money.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But when it's my turn to text her about advice or tea, she leaves me on read for days, sometimes weeks at a time. I care about her friendship and I don't want it to end. But like she's not doing anything that says she still cares as much as I care about it. We've had conversations before about our friendship and she admits she feels like she's a bad friend.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I just don't think she your friend like that. But I also think that she's just in a different space. She has four kids and you have none. Her life on a day-to-day basis looks completely different. It don't have to be bad blood. I think sometimes people just need to realize, hey, we're not aligning. Well, I feel like I agree with you if she wasn't like texting her to be messy at times. Yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
It's about, like, what you say. So... I cannot remember the last time somebody slid in my DMs and was like, they said something really good. And I was like, okay, let me see what he talking about. But I feel like you definitely don't. If you go to a nigga page and he following like 3,000 people and he got 200 followers, he was not responding. You're lying. You're not going to respond.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Like, if you just had a lot going on and so I'm not really hearing from you because you dealing with life and you dealing with them kids, you them kids' mamas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then cool. But you got time to text me about tea. You got time to respond when you want to every three weeks. That's what I said. No. Y'all not aligning. I would say let go of the friendship.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Stop stretching yourself out over people. Let her go. Mm-hmm. What you think, Ty? I agree. She doesn't sound like she's your friend anymore or she. Yeah, she's been checked out. Yeah. And it's convenient for her to talk to you. What it sounds like to me. Like I said, y'all are just living two different lives. She got four kids and you have none. That's just completely different.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Like y'all literally. I was not being friends with her anyways, because if she ever asked me to watch them kids, it's really going to be a fucking problem. Because let me tell you who ain't never watching four kids. Having four kids is kind of crazy. Ever? Like a little night, a movie night with nieces, nephews? Oh, me by myself? Yeah. If I had a three and a half, four kids? Yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I think you need to... Like, where's everybody? I just... Y'all live in two different states. Ask if it's got to be your last resort. Yeah. And then I feel like y'all live in different states. Obviously, this is not making you feel good. We have to learn how to walk away from things that don't make us feel good. Yeah. Would you have four kids? No. How many are you going to have? One.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I got shit to do. Well, first of all, I'm going to be where you at. So who they about to be with for real? Y'all going to have to take, you and my baby daddy going to have to take turns. No, absolutely not. Well, y'all going to figure it out. He just going to have a turn forever. Forever. Forever, forever, forever. All right. Y'all make sure y'all go to MuseBeautyCollection.com.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Go subscribe to Drea's YouTube. Go follow both of our LTKs. Love Lex P, dropping soon. Follow us on TikTok. Tour dates dropping soon. Really, really, really big announcement dropping soon. Ty, go to SoMixie.com. Get all the good recipes and all that good stuff. And we'll see y'all next week. Bye, y'all. Y'all make sure y'all share the content, like, subscribe, follow, all that good stuff.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And let me say this before we close out. Y'all, there is one Twitter account that is connected to Poor Minds. It's P-O-U-R underscore M-I-N-D-S. Y'all are tagging the wrong Poor Minds page. If you see at Poor Minds with no underscore, that is a fake page. Do not follow that page, okay? They blocked me, Andrea, and the Poor Minds page on both. So we only have one Instagram left.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Well, I need to know this. Ty, you wouldn't respond either, would you? But let me tell you, because there's a reason why, though. Why are you following Oprah Winfrey?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
One Twitter, one TikTok. It is P-O-U-R underscore M-I-N-D-S. All right? And we got a hella fake Facebook page. Oh, the Facebook page. It's the one. Our Facebook. The crazy thing is our Facebook page actually have the least amount of followers. So if you on Facebook. The one that's ours.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
got the least amount of followers the one that's not us got like 250,000 followers but y'all know it's fake if you actually look at the content cause the caption is like whoever it is don't speak English cause their captions are like should men pay bill should men pay bill yes no check answer below blah blah booyah booyah booyah Like, that's literally what the captions mean.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
bring me along. I've been through this too long, but I'll be damned if I see another cheek on his arm. I said, bring me along.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
like really no but like because what's wrong with people they follow oprah it just be so random i am a fiend no i'm not saying nothing wrong with oprah but it'd be like some why are you following like martin lawrence on a tuesday just because you feel like following like it'd be random martin lawrence is that but i'm saying you following all these like random random people like you following martha stewart what's going on he trying to learn how
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
It's your girl Lex P. And it's your girl Dre Nicole. And you are tuned in to another episode of Poor Minds. Where a drunk mind speaks sober thoughts. We ain't got no guests today. We ain't got no guests today. You know what? I read a comment in the YouTube things this morning and it made me really happy because it was a girl.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
of guardians i just feel like it'd be a certain like don't get me wrong i have people that i'm fans of that i follow but like you following like if i see y'all follow this and it's like steve harvey oprah winfrey martha stewart martin damn this is me really catching a stray i follow all of those people no lie There's nothing wrong with that. There's nobody that you said that I don't follow.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
There's nothing wrong with it. But I just feel like, I don't know, if I see you following all these people and I don't see you, like, interacting or you don't follow nobody that you know in real life. Oh, okay. That's what I'm saying. You follow nothing. I do follow everybody I know. That's what I'm saying. You follow nothing but celebrities. Like, why are you following Nene?
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
You don't even watch Housewives. You know what I'm saying? Because Nene is a hoot.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But you know what's even worse than following, like, random celebrities? Is when he follow a whole bunch of women that don't even follow him back. Like, you thirsty. You really thirsty. Like, you following a whole bunch of women that just don't. What if he just a bad bitch connoisseur? Mm. You're not a bad bitch connoisseur by doing stuff like that. You're not. I know. I know a bad bitch.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
When I say connoisseur, I just mean like, what if he just is one of them type of men who he just like can appreciate a beautiful or bootiful. It ain't your booty. It's your booty. Or a bootiful woman.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
What's wrong with that? There is a lot of things wrong with that. I will say. If you following a whole bunch of booty models. Yeah. You horny. Like, what are you doing? You open your phone and the first thing I see. You think so? All niggas. They got at least five big booty. That they follow. They try to mix in there. Yeah. I'm okay with that. And it also depends on how she look too.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Cause there's one, you know, that big booty girl I be talking about. Ooh. That big, big, big, big. Oh, I know. I know a toilet. Hate to see her coming. But it's like if you follow. That was very discriminatory. No, it's not. I'm talking like it because it's come on now. There's no I promise you her butt is probably about 60 inches and her waist is probably like 27 inches. And I'm not kidding.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I'm not being dramatic. Waist snatched. So but if like you follow stuff like that and it's like the girls that be walking around Target and be like picking up mayonnaise, maybe like. Pick up the mayonnaise. Well, first and foremost, not at my local Target. That's what they be doing. I've never been to the grocery store and seen nobody doing that.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
And I don't know what I would do if I did walk past y'all and I seen somebody. Can y'all tell me what? You seen that? I seen the videos. Oh. I haven't seen it in person. What would you do if you did? You know I'm old.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I love. I love a shenanigan. It's crazy. I love a little shenanigan. So I might start clapping too. I don't like that. Oh, I might start jumping. You might join in. The mail over here, girl. I ain't mad at it. I ain't mad at it. I love people who just don't give a fuck, though. I think there's a certain thing. I really do. It's not giving a fuck. You shouldn't give a fuck.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I was like, she was basically like, listen, y'all always want to complain. She said something like y'all need to stop complaining when they have guests. Because if you are a true poor crew member, you like it whenever they have guests or not. Period. You ate that. I feel like, and I've said this before, I think both episodes eat. I think that the guest episodes be good.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
If that's how you make your money. But why are you walking around Target in booty shorts so I can see your booty hole? Okay, but are the people who judging you going to pay your bills? If that's how she pay her rent. I don't want your booty hole in front of my mayonnaise. Not in front of my salad. It's closed and it's sealed. No. The aroma. Yeah. It's the principle. It feel tight.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
If you walking by the meat place, the meat be open. Your twerk wind made it over the counter right into that salmon. Now I don't know what I'm smelling. You want a salmon? You want a salmon? Licks, I hear you. But, like, no. That's how she pay her bills. She got to rent-do. That's your favorite thing, rent-do. Rent-do-be-do. I just think that... Rent-do-be-do, but I just feel like it's just...
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But yeah, that girl has a dookie shooter on her. And um. Remember when that man had DM'd us? I mean, remember when that man had emailed us? Oh, he emailed me. What did he say? Remember he asked me to boo-boo? And he asked me to hold the phone a certain way. Like position the phone a certain way. Oh, my God.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
I don't know why that was the first thing that came to my mind when you said dookie shooter. Yeah, yeah. But... It's a certain type of... Do you remember that? I do remember that. And he was for real. Like, he sent examples and everything. But, you know, there was a girl that... And Ryan gonna send it. Ryan messy ass gonna send it to our group chat knowing damn well I wasn't gonna do that shit.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But, you know, there's a girl I was on the internet that was saying that. Like, she does that. She makes videos like that. Yeah. Like... um shout out to mona mona had did a video recently and she was like talking to somebody i can't remember she interviewed somebody recently and she was talking to them and she was just like i just oh we about to have her on the show i'm not gonna say who it is
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
But we about to have her on the show. And she was just like, well, I mean, if I was going to do it anyways, and he want me to prop the phone up, this is what I was going to do at 7 a.m. every morning anyways.
Pour Minds Podcast
A Good Lil Nugget
Might as well do it with the camera up if he trying to pay me a hot 600. Oh, okay. A hot 600. I don't know if I can do that. Just to do it? It don't require a lot of effort. I know. I just... I think I'll stick to doo-dooing for free. Shay said she would. Shay is freaky. Shay is very freaky. I don't think that's freaky, though. I'm not talking about this. I'm talking about Shay in general.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
We're so happy to have you on the show. That, I'm not going to lie to you. I have had some heavy hitters on this couch, right?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
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Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Mm-hmm. They have told people to increase their score by up to 28 points in their first month. I don't know about you, but I need that. Me too. So what you're going to do is go to getkickoff.com backslash poorminds and sign up today. Over 100,000 people have reviewed it, and 98% of those reviews are five stars. So go to getkickoff.com backslash poorminds today.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
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Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
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Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
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Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So, I want to talk about, since we're talking about podcasting, because we were speaking a little bit earlier, and you were about to touch on, because we talk about the freedom that we have with podcasting also comes with a little negativity, because you can give your opinion, but a lot of times, people are not going to agree with it, and they're going to be dragging your ass.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
One thing me and Dre are not strangers to is getting dragged. Like, we are always getting drugged about something.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
That was probably the longest intro I've had to do.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So, not understandable. You were supposed to say, damn, not my girls. No, no, no.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Okay, but talk about the time that you got dragged and you were just like, oh, my God, why did I say this? Or you regretted it or something.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I want to start from the beginning. So, you know, the girls, we love a good athlete now. So we're going to start back in the NFL day. Okay, okay, okay.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So you be standing on business when you say stuff and they don't like it.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Right. I think a lot of times people get so wrapped up in people's opinions because they created this version of you in their head. So if they watch Sisters or they watch the team and they're like, oh, my God, this man, and they see you with your wife, so they're like, oh, I want a man like that. He's a good father.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So they create this image of you in their head, but they don't know you at the end of the day. Absolutely. So when you say something that doesn't fit their narrative that they created in their head, they be ready to be up in arms about it. Because that happens a lot. I feel like a lot of times people tend to feel like, oh, Lex so funny. She's so sweet. She's so nice.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
But I'm really like an introvert. I really don't like people as much. I really just kind of, you know, be doing my own thing. So sometimes when I say things that people don't like, they be ready to bring out the pitch for it. But I'm like, why are you so upset at... I think the... Biggest thing that shows people's ignorance is when you can't understand that not everybody thinks the same.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Let's do that. So talk about, like, your football career and, like, how that got started and all that good stuff.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I mean, an opinion is an opinion. Like, just because I say something and that's how I feel, it doesn't necessarily mean it's factual. Right. If you don't agree with me, it's okay for you not to agree with me, but it shouldn't have you up in arms because it's my opinion. You should be able to take a difference of opinion and go about your day.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Sometimes it just be triggering that they a fucking hater.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Are they going to be sitting there taking it out on you?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
You shouldn't. Because I'm sensitive, though. Everything gets to me. I'll be like, Drea, they said my hair was napping.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Lex, I... Oh, Drea, they said they seen my nail was broken. She knew. Lex is a little more sensitive than I am. Sometimes, I'm not going to lie, for the most part, I let a lot of shit roll off my back. But sometimes people do say something every once in a while where I'm just like, ooh, I got to respond. But I want to get to that point where I don't say anything. Beyonce. We want to be Beyonce.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I want to be Beyonce to the bullshit. But I feel like I'm Rihanna.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Big belly mother. I be. No. It's so funny. I don't. It's so funny because we share, obviously we share the logins to like all of our pages. I know. So I know you. And I always be seeing the notifications when she go off on people. And I be like, bro.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
That is true. I mean, he ain't lying. He ain't lying because I'll be ready to crash out. I love to get on live and crash out. But you know what's crazy?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
The few times that I have crashed out, people have responded. Like, I had posted a screenshot on Twitter like two weeks ago. Because this guy, I had tweeted something and this guy had like a crazy ass rebuttal to me. I can't even remember what he said. But then after I said something to him, he posted, I reposted it and I like kind of went off on him.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And then he was like, oh, thank you for responding. I love you. I love you.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And I was like, what? This is what I be talking about when I say people are fucking weird. He did all of that for him to say I love you when I responded. It was so crazy.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
We try to do a little one, two, none. Period.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So I definitely, before we get, we ain't even got into the first topic yet. But before we get into the first topic, I definitely want to talk about your beautiful wife and your family. My baby, my baby. So, how did y'all meet? I think I did read somewhere, or maybe I seen it on y'all social media, y'all met in college, right? Nope.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
You was meant for TV because you was already living your real life. You see what I'm saying?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I'm so weird. That's me, though. I live my life every day. I think I'm in a movie.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
A 19-year-old woman asking something like that on the first date. Because I would have been like, to be or not.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Yeah. But also, it was to the right man, though. I'll agree. A lot of times, though, it's a lot of good women that meet up and they're doing the right things, but it's with the wrong man. So I think that is why a lot of times you hear women giving the advice of, don't do this, don't do that, because they did that and saw no results.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Because them red flags be red flagging early.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And they be like, it's okay. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. I'm not really like that, though. No? No. I be leaving when it comes to red flags. I don't really play that shit. Like, I've always had a no-nonsense policy, but sometimes if we really want to get into it, I feel like that's why I'm still, like, not married and stuff.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So I'll say this. In my 20s, I was having a ball. I wasn't looking for nothing serious. I was having a good time. So I'll say as in my 30s, in my mid-30s, I'm intentionally dating. You know, I'm in a relationship. I've been in a relationship for a year. So I can talk about the things that I was dealing with beforehand and I'll just use the last guy I dated beforehand for example.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I'm not going to yai. A lot of times, I knew the type of men I was dating. And I knew what I was in the situation for, whether it was to have fun, he was spending money, X, Y, Z. But once I started dating intentionally, and I'm showing who I really and what I really wanted to do and my goals... The last time, I will say, a lot of men, they put up a good front, okay? They're auditioning.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
It's like they look at it like a job application. So if I'm applying for a job, when I show up, they be like, what is the worst thing about you when it comes to work? Oh, I'm just always on time. Right. I hate the fact that I'm just so punctual, and sometimes I work whenever I'm supposed to be clocked out. That's how men are.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So you'll ask a man, you're asking all the right questions, you're doing the right things, and they're like, oh, my gosh, this woman is amazing. I'm not really looking for nothing serious, though, but I don't want her to leave me alone.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Because I'm not ready to be the man for her, but I don't want her to leave me alone because she's doing all these wifey things.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So a lot of women have experienced that. Now, one thing about me, I don't date. I'm not a bitter dater. So just because this man does this to me, okay, we broke up. I'm going to still move on and I'm going to still be happy and try it. I'm not going to be tainted about love. Mm-hmm. So I feel like now I'm in a relationship where I am with somebody who appreciates the things that I do.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And it's like reciprocated. But I will say I was in a situation where I felt bamboozled.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I know. That's right. What's the bruck up?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
You know what I'm saying? It was also a guy that had been trying to holler at me for three years.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And I feel like you should never give him a chance. Wait, I'm out. Why you can't give that guy for three years?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
that too he was he was hounding me a year and a half trying to holler at me when i say he was going above and beyond trying to get me to talk to him and then i finally gave in i was like okay let's see what's up he played the fuck out of me he played the fuck out of me and it took me years to get over the hurt It took me... I'm telling you.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And that's why I feel like if you were initially not interested in a man and you curved him, he gonna remember that shit, girl. You better leave that nigga alone.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Yes, I think that's all, man. I didn't do that.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
They be like... I'm going to get that hoe back. One day I'm going to get Drea.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
But the truth is... I'm telling you, don't give him no chance if he's been trying to holler at you.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And you know what, circling back to your original question, I think that women, I can only speak now that I'm in my 30s. I have a lot of friends and people around me who I feel like once you get to 30, it starts to become like, we talked about this with another guest, I think, desperation, the desperation of being in your 30s.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I think when women hit 30, now it's like this time clock. It is. I got to get married. I got to have kids. So I think when the red flags be red flagging, they be like, oh, it's fine because I want to be married. Even if it's not to the right man. Society has made me feel like I got to be married and I got to have kids. And then what? I'm 32. I don't have kids yet.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
That biological clock ticking, you know? And I really think that that is more so what it is. I can say for women in their 30s, because I think when you in your 20s, Some women do want to get married in their 20s, but a lot of women that I know, they wouldn't even think about that. And then it's like when you turn 30, all of a sudden the pressure is on.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Right. And I think that having that mindset, because I do have that mindset, I don't take things out on... Because everybody is different. Right. Everybody's experience is different. Absolutely. So, I think... I agree with Drea. The desperation of women in their 30s, like I said, we just talked about this. But for me, I will say this. I'm just such a like, okay, let it be.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So now I'm like, if it's in my path to be with a man and get married, that's exactly what's going to happen. Because I know myself and I know I'm a good person. I know I'm a damn good woman. So I don't have no pressure on it, you know?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So wait, I know your wife is Caribbean. Are you Caribbean too?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
You see what I'm saying? because that goes into our part. That actually is our first topic.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
But first... But we need to ask Ty what we drinking. I knew this episode was going to be like this. I did, too. I knew it. Ty, what are we drinking today? It is. It is. So, Ty, what are we drinking today? These drinks are so good. I'm actually about to...
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I got you. So, you know, our guest, he is literally, he does it all. He is, like you said, actor, producer, athlete. He is the jack of all trades. And that's what this drink is called, jack of all trades. It's a classic old-fashioned style cocktail. We have some bourbon in there. We have some demerara, which is like a brown sugar syrup. Talk about it.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Angostura bitters and a little bit of orange bitters in there. As the garnish, we have some cherries. We have a lemon peel and an orange peel that I kind of just express into the cocktail just to give that flavor and that bounce off. And this, like him, is the jack of all trades. Talk about it, Ty. Talk about it, Ty. I like that, Ty.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Thank you, Ty. Got another round coming up. Thank you. What's up, y'all? It's your girl Lex P. And it's your girl Dre Nicole.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And we are here to tell y'all about the genius that is Masterclass.com. If you're a creative, you want to get into modeling, cooking, anything you are trying to learn, this is the place to learn from the pros.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Yes, they have over 200 plus pros on Masterclass. And imagine learning modeling fundamentals from Naomi Campbell. Or acting from Samuel L. Jackson.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Or a little humor from Kevin Hart. I personally took Issa Rae's Masterclass and it definitely helped me because she was teaching about how to think outside of your creativity. Or if you have an idea in your head, how to get it in action and turning your ideas into actual TV shows or actual content online.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I'm telling y'all, if you wanted to learn directly from the people who are making moves in the industry you want to succeed in, Masterclass is the site for you.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Absolutely. And I also love that for all new memberships, they have a 30-day money-back guarantee.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Oh, I like that. So if it don't work for you, get your money back. Yes. So if you want to get a discount, you can sign up at masterclass.com backslash poor minds. That's masterclass.com backslash poor minds. And you sign up for the annual membership and you'll get 15% off. I'm telling y'all, you cannot get started until you invest in yourself. Masterclass.com backslash poor minds.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Right now, our listeners get 15% off any annual membership at masterclass.com slash poorminds. That's 15% off at masterclass.com slash poorminds.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Back to your point, though. You... Made a really, really good point when you said, like, basically, you can't convince a man that doesn't want to get married to get married. And I think that that's where a lot of women mess up, too, because they're dating men who it's obvious that's not the goal. Right. That's not his goal. So why are you even pursuing that?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Why are you even staying in that situation? In order for a relationship to be successful, you have to date somebody where y'all want the same thing. Yes. And y'all goals align.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I can shame him a little bit. I ain't going to mold him. You can't shame that man for that. I'm going to throw a little shame in. Just a little bit. Get your ass up and go to work.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
She need to write a how-to book. See? Yeah. Because she got all the answers. I'm going to call her.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So the first topic we wanted to ask you, because there's two different sayings. that people always say. They always say, behind every successful man is a strong woman. You know, married men are more successful. And statistics technically show this.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And then on the other hand, they have statistics that show single women live longer. Single women are happier. You know, like, being independent and being free. And, you know, we see people like Oprah, who has a little situation, but she does what she can do. You know, we see the Tracee Ellis Ross. And we see all these women. We're like, hmm, that don't look so bad.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So how do you feel like, as a married man, society should approach things like that?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And do you feel like that's true? Like, with being married, do you feel like... For example, your success, is it attributed to a certain extent by your relationship and your marriage?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Okay. I'm out here in these streets. I'm out here in these streets. Sure you did.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
All right. That was probably the straw that broke me coming back. It was probably the brooker first.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Baby, that sounds like a whole different language to me. I was like, what?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
You never went on Family Feud? I don't even wonder who asked them that question.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Because a lot of people don't have that. And I hate to see the story of like athletes when they leave the NFL and they just don't know what to do. I mean, they try to make the transition as you've made. A lot of them try to go to like TV, doing sports casting. But as you know, it's hard to talk on camera.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I know somebody who listens to Dr. Umar when I see it.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
percentages don't include us that was a great point because i never thought about that because honestly when they talk about statistics like he said you have been married for what 12 years 14 years with my wife four kids 22 years ain't nobody asked you shit never first time you asked me when lex and joy and you should be the prime candidate well i'll give y'all another statistic right what's the narrative that we hear about black men they don't get married no no they don't like who
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And then when you hear the horror stories, we got to talk about Scottie Pippen.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Something is wrong with her. Your bitch outside with Future is crazy.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I'm not, but it is what it is. You see what I'm saying? I mean, because I, oh, we had this conversation a while back with the guests that we had, and I can't remember, but we were basically talking about, like, government assistance and housing and things like that.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And they were saying how literally, like, if you are a struggling, you know, woman and you're on housing, you can't have a man in the house.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
We got degrees in this now. We went to school for this. We seasoned. We trained.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
We had Barbara Walters shaking for a long time.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Which is so crazy because it's like, how do we live in a country where feelings can't vote, but one can be the president? But that's another topic.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And I'm not going to lie. I have seen that narrative a lot today because obviously when y'all see this episode, we already know that Trump has won president. And it's been a lot of the narrative that they were trying to blame, you know, like the black men and all this stuff. But when you saw the voting and everything they had. The statistics, yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Because I said that to my man and he went off on me.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I was like, I feel like black men didn't show up enough. And he was like, hold on.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Oh, he going to get them numbers out. That's one thing.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Right. I mean, you know what? I'll say this too. A long time ago, we decided to stop that gender war because we used to do that a lot too. We did. We were in that gender war like, oh.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
They used to say we was male bashers. I never felt like we were, to be honest. I just think we had a lot of differing opinions.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And that goes to a good point because that's why our community is so separated because you'll say one thing, they'll be ready to cancel you and not. Solidarity, one thing about them white folks, they going to be together. They going to stick together.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Absolutely. What's up, y'all? It's your girl, Lex P. And it's your girl, Duran Nicole. And we are here to tell y'all about JoinBuilt.com. One thing about it, you have to pay rent no matter what. So why don't you get rewarded for paying your rent?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Absolutely. You need those points. And one thing about Bill, they're going to give you some points. So yes, the thing about Bill, you can get access to 500 plus airlines with all of the points that you accumulated with Bill. Same thing with hotels, except 700,000 plus. You know how many
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
hotels that is all over the world go wherever you want to go yes all you have to do is pay your rent and they have a point system so you can use these points for flights hotel you need a vacation you got to pay your rent anyway so get rewarded for it yeah all you're gonna do is go to joinbuilt.com slash poor minds that's j-o-i-n-b-i-l-t dot com slash poor minds tell them lex and drea sent you period
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I don't either. I think it depends on what you want to do.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
We talk about black Twitter. Why? Because we're all on black Twitter. How much time have you spent on white Twitter?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Well, yeah, I think it depends on what you want to do. But the thing that I love about people who have degrees, I think it just says that, like... You finished what you started.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
But what I can say... Chinese Twitter. You're right. But black Twitter is our worst... Arabic Twitter. But black Twitter our worst enemy. Exactly. Black Twitter is also the people who be dragging me every day just because I'll be like, oh, I don't like pork chops. Oh my God, you don't like pigs? Bitch, you don't remember where you came from?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
don't give them a pass because I'll say this because people always look at black podcasts and be like, oh, they don't do that. Man, white podcasts be doing the same. They do. They be like, they need to defund podcasts. Take away the microphone. I agree as far as like what you're saying is they be doing the same thing as far as they talk about relationship talk. They do. They talk about 50-50.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
But when I say solidarity, I'm talking about when it comes to like one cause as serious and as big as politics, they do not care that this man has a felon. He's been accused of rape, assault, everything under something like we don't want a black woman in there. So we don't come together. And that's what I mean. I feel you. When it comes to making a change of what kind of change that they want.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I feel you. They don't care about what's best. White women, as a woman, it doesn't matter what race you are, as a woman, to vote for Trump is absolutely insane. But what they do is they're going to stick by their skin color before what's even best for them as an individual person. So that's what I mean.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I think it's also a marriage thing though, because I was having a conversation. I was having a conversation with my man and he was just like, to be honest, a lot of people didn't vote for her because people in marriages want to have babies. If that's like, like most people are one policy voters. So a lot of people voted for Kamala just because she was more, you know, pro-choice.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And he was basically saying like, people who are married, women who are married, they don't care about abortion bans.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
But it's not about the abortion ban because what happens when you're on the table and you're hemorrhaging and you're dying because they're looking at abortion as, oh, I have sex with somebody and I got pregnant. There's women on the table that are hemorrhaging and they're dying and they can't abort the baby because it's illegal.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I don't care that you went to the club and had sex with somebody and now you're pregnant. That's not what we're talking about. But they're using that as an excuse. Right. But they're not looking at the... Thousands and thousands of black women who are dying, giving birth.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
You know what I'm saying? It's a much bigger issue. So I get... But as a white woman, why do you... But guess what? But it's going to be different when you're sitting on the inhibition.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
The people of color, the POC, and trying to group us all together. This election, if you didn't know before, you know now. It ain't no one for all group. Oh, we all people of color. That's not what it's giving.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
It's never been that. It's never been that. I mean, they've always tried to group us together.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So I just hope that this woke up our eyes. I mean, they do. But I think that us being a part of the community, we know it's always been a divide. I was having a conversation with some, oh, I was on live. I was on TikTok live because I know you've watched probably some of our shows or whatever. But I've talked about being adopted and stuff. So like my biological dad is half Dominican.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So I was on live one day and somebody had said something about that. And they was like, but I was like, I'm still like, cause they were like, aren't you mixed or something? And I was like, no, I'm not mixed. Like my biological dad is half Dominican, but my grandfather was Afro Latino. Like he was a black man. You know, ethnicity and race.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And they was like, they was like, don't, they was like, don't say that on live Drea. It do. It do. And they was like, don't say that on live, Dre, because, you know, Dominicans get mad when you say they black. But it's like, but why? Y'all on the same island with Haiti and y'all look just alike.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Oh, and that's what I was going to say. Because, you know, we did radio for a little bit. I know you did. Yeah. And you hated it. We hated it.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
But y'all mad that people say y'all black.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
It was certain. We just couldn't be our authentic selves the way that we can on this couch. And, I mean, it's cool. You know what I mean? Shout out to the people that do radio. Kudos to them. I just don't think it was for us. Yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Like, that's where I've been. And that goes back to what you said earlier, too, about, like, the percentages of what people make and the world that they're existing in and how they have to survive.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I actually started off doing hard news. I used to have an internship at my college at TSU, so I would wake up at 5 o'clock in the morning, go to the radio station. I'm reporting on all this stuff, like kids getting kidnapped, houses on fire. I'm like, this is depressing. Ain't it, though? Oh, my God. It is, though. It was so hard, and I was like, I don't want to do this.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Because that comment was just so unnecessary.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Yeah, they had a long history. That's what the tea was for me. When I found out that, you know, he was trying to, you know, that's when it made it a little different. Yeah, they've been having tension.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Right. But also, in the same words as we were talking about, and I hate to bring it back to these, It was so many. I hate to say this, but it was a lot of higher up white people who were so like, Will, how dare you? How dare you? But y'all are acting like this man gutted him on stage in front of... You know what I'm saying? Was it right? No, you shouldn't put your hands on nobody.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Now, I'm not saying that what he did was whatever. But y'all were acting like he just hung this man on national TV live. But then y'all are the same people who were... In Trump's corner. Understandable. We know for a fact that he's done things that could land you in prison.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
It only has to make sense to the person that's having the emotion. Yeah. You see what I'm saying?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And I also think that it was just a moment for them to, like, shit on will, too. Like, they cannot... People been waiting on... They cannot stand that one of the number one actors in the world who can literally drop a movie right now and is going to do millions in the box office. Because movies, it's hard to do a movie right now.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And then I kind of got into, like, doing, like, entertainment news, and I'm like, you know what? I just want to talk shit. And you know what else I don't like? I don't like the breaks.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Most movies are going to the theaters, but they're also going to streaming services.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Will Smith can drop a movie and it's going to be nowhere. And he'll put it at AMC only. And it's still going to do 100 million. So this was their moment like, we got him.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I mean, we always get a different response. So many people was like, I mean, this last Bad Boys movie, it was good, but let this be the last one. Y'all ain't said that about Rocky.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Bro, we know they killed the dog. I'm sorry. And they got 10 motherfucking John Wicks. Y'all let them bad boys keep coming. Leave people alone. Because I'm going to still go watch it. Every time.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I'm sorry. That scene where the son-in-law was fighting. Reggie did his big one. He did his big one.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Yeah, me too. It was the best part. It was the best part of the movie. But yes, I want to acknowledge your girl, Lexi.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
and it's your girl Dre Nicole and we are here to tell y'all about our brand new ebook and e-course bundle pour into your pod yes y'all we have been working on this for a while and we're so excited to put it out and give it to y'all because we know so many people have been asking us for such a long time about how to start a successful podcast and we have literally put all of the information that we have and everything that we've utilized into this one ebook
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Yeah. Like how you have to do, you know how you have to do so many pauses and breaks when you do radio? Yes. Yeah, I hate that. Like on this show, you know, we just talk freely. It's no breaks. It's not edited. It's not altered. I think that you have to do that. Well, we know you have to do that when it comes to like radio and broadcasting.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Yes, and this is not your typical e-book because I know what a lot of y'all are thinking. But I'm telling y'all, we give y'all direct access to how we built our brand. It's not no fluffiness and all that what I've read in e-books before. This is an e-book that gets straight to the point and gives you all the direction you need to start your podcast today. Absolutely.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And you can trust that we are putting 100% good information, no filter into this book. And it's going to help you build your brand. And it shows you exactly how we built Poor Minds and made it into a six-figure company.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So make sure y'all head to poorminds.com to purchase your e-book or the e-course. And we also have it available in a bundle for you so you can get both. Poorminds.com. Pour into your pot.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Get into the second topic real quick. I wanted to talk about hiding money from your spouse. Because...
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I think this is a really good topic. And we've been wanting to talk to somebody that's married about it for a while. Because I grew up in a two-parent household. My parents were married my whole life. And my mom, she always, you know, tells me that her and my dad, they just had one joint bank account. And I'd be like, girl, you might have a little stash. But then I ain't never been married.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So maybe that's the wrong ideology to have.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Are we like a married couple? You know, being in business with somebody is like a married couple. We got the same type of setup.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Right. But as long as... But all the money goes through the business account. Absolutely. And you can still see... So you know, but you still know how much she's putting in her. Right, right.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Oh, okay. No, but I'm saying, but you know how much goes in there, right?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Right. In real time. That's an uncomfortable conversation. What? But you know what? I tell people all the time, if you can't have an uncomfortable conversation with your partner, your friend, your family.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I'm not going to lie to you. I think it is now, though. Yeah. I think a lot of times when you are hearing people have authentic conversations and you're not hearing somebody like, oh, I have to ask this question. Like, we have talking points, but we're going to get off topic. And you're like, oh, this is how this person feels about X, Y, Z. Yeah. Oh, I really like them. Oh, you know what?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Exactly. Uncomfortable conversations always lead to growth. Yeah. Every time.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
What's up, y'all? It's your girl Lex P. And it's your girl Dre Nicole. And you are tuned in to another episode of Poor Minds. Where a drunk mind speaks over thoughts. We got a guest today. We got a guest today. So first of all, y'all have been asking us to have this person on. They have. They're blowing up our messages. They have. So we have the one and only author,
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I was about to say, here, you show his ice go down. Yo. I said, what's he doing? I'm getting blind.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I was like, what the fuck is this? That is expensive. That wrist.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I didn't really like what they were doing. But now that I know them, I want to support everything that they do. Absolutely. Absolutely. So it could be good for you or bad. So that's what I want to talk about too. You getting into podcasting.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I ain't mad at it. So now it's time to get into the bed.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
But I love y'all. You cutting up. You are cutting up. This is funny. Okay, so we were talking about monogamy earlier, right? Mm-hmm. And we were talking about, you know, you're saying, like, that is a decision that you made that you wanted to. But monogamy does look different for, you know, everybody. Yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So I just want to know, not saying that you do this or anybody, I'm just saying, what is your opinion on hall passes? Okay. And let me define hall passes for the people that are watching.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So a hall pass is basically like a man or a woman, they let their partner like, okay, you can go out, whatever it is, like once a year, twice a year, and do whatever you want with whoever you want, and that's your hall pass. I can't get mad. I don't ask questions. There's no conversation about it, and that's your hall pass. So how do you feel about hall passes?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Okay. She's not small, small, but she's not big, big. But she's not... She's like the average type.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So never a quickie. Sometimes you got to get in and get out.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
But you know, I don't like long sex either, though.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I think it needs to be a good amount of time, but not too damn long. Wrap this shit up.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Put them on because they don't know. Put them on. This is my game right now. They need help.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Okay. Okay. Y'all always want to have four kids. Was that like the goal or was it just like, okay.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Because y'all kids are so cute. Extremely cute. She would have been the best. That's crazy, though. Because I think my sister is like that. She only has boys. Yeah. Does she want to have another one? I think they do. I think they do. But she's like, I can't deal with this. She's like, I'm in a house with three boys. Three men. Y'all have no idea what it is? That's what I'm saying.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Oh, Lord have mercy. And I've been following you and your wife on social media for a while. Because, like I said, I'm a fan of sisters. And I just love y'all dynamic, too. But, like, I know that y'all said y'all not going to have any more kids.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
You needed one. I didn't need one. I seen that fucking shoulder.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
But do you feel like that's why y'all's relationship and y'all marriage have lasted so long? Because y'all keep it spicy. Absolutely.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
But I love that. I think that's fun, too. It's fun. I was going to say, I love that. I love hearing that perspective from couples because it makes you actually look forward to being married, which makes me have a question for you.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
y'all so now it is our item of the week segment and y'all know y'all can inquire about having your product featured on four minds and we have our first product here we have our first product you guys it's called la la land cosmetics
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I have on the creamy red lip gloss. It's called Such an Aries. It's so pretty. And look at the packaging. I love it. I love that. It's very cute. It's bling bling. It's matching my lips.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Yeah, you're a lipstick lip gloss connoisseur. I am. We know. So talk about, like, the texture of it, the shine, the sheen, all that good stuff.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Yeah. So I love the texture of it. It's very much non-sticky. I hate a super sticky lip gloss. It's not sticky at all. It's very creamy. Yeah. And I've been having it on for, you know, an hour or so. It's been lasting. It look real good.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
It's real cute. And look at the pigment. I like that. So y'all know me. I am a... Highlighter girly. I love a good highlight. So she also sent us, and shout out to Lala, this brand is actually, it's vegan and cruelty free and it's black owned. So you are supporting a black owned business.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So I don't know if y'all remember a long time ago when they used to have the Anastasia Beverly Hills highlighter palettes. The girl's not doing highlighter palettes no more. And you can also use it as a... Bless you, girl. Sorry. Use it as an eyeshadow. So, I actually have on the Sunset Highlighter. And the good thing about this palette is it gives you options, okay?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And she sent a brush with us, so she does have highlighter brushes. Brush is very soft. It went on super smooth. And I always love a gold highlight. I think on that brown skin, it just gives like... I've been sitting in the sun all day. Yeah. Giving some kiss. Yes. So, yes. Shout out to La La Land Cosmetics. I love the highlighter. And then she also has a, what's it called?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
The chocolate lip gloss set. So, I have on. Box of chocolate lip gloss set. Box of chocolate lip gloss set. So, I put on the Reese Kisses. It's like a nude color. And one thing I love, because they be forgetting about the brown skin girls when it comes to nude colors. So, these are like nude for like the women of color. Mm-hmm.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So it has, like, a darker brown in there, like a darker kind of, like, pinkish chocolatey color. But I have on the more, like, nude pink, and I put it on with a brown lip liner, a dark brown lip liner, and a clear gloss. And, baby, I'm just a—I stick to the same colors on my lips.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And I feel like this chocolate brown color would be perfect for the fall. Y'all know fall is coming up. So, yeah, this would be really, really cute with, like, a chestnut lip liner. Mm-hmm.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I love that. So make sure y'all go to lalalandcosmetics.com. We're going to put the link in the bio for y'all. And shop, use code POUR, and you'll get 15% off of your first order. You know, support a small-owned Black business. That highlighter palette, she did her big one. And these lip gloss, too. Y'all see it.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So, yeah, like, I wanted to ask you, because, like, I feel like your beautiful family, your beautiful wife, so many people look up to y'all as couple goals. So do you ever feel the pressure to be couple goals?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
love that for y'all I love that for her because I'm not gonna lie like I said I'm not a man but my being a woman in my experience in dating you know y'all both have something very rare and beautiful so it's good to see um a healthy relationship but also people that um Not admire, but appreciate. I appreciate, yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Seeing the appreciation, I think everybody can see that and be like, okay, it's possible. Because I think for us as black women, like she said, getting in our 30s, you kind of lose hope a little bit. You lose hope to finding your partner or your forever. You be like, you know what? I'm okay with this and I'm okay with that. But, you know, that gives us hope, and I think that's okay.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Not necessarily being couple goals, but just letting us know, like, hey, there's still good men out here. Not everybody's the same. Not all women are the same. So I think that it's good that we see not necessarily be a couple goals, but we need to see healthy black relationships. We need to see men being fathers. Because statistically, men are fathers. Yes, especially black men.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
They're in the households. Yes. We all have this narrative about deadbeat dads, but... The black men are in the house.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And that's something I didn't even know. I had to educate myself on that.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So I think that it's just important for us to see that. And even though it's like social media, we like to say is not real life. But like you said earlier in the episode, people are looking at social media for their news now.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
When I was literally updating myself last night, I was on Google like, okay, electoral college, let me see what the numbers are. I'm not looking at CNN. I'm not looking at Fox. I'm just looking at the numbers. So we use our phones for information. So unfortunately, and fortunately for us, people watch us for, okay, educate me. Feed me something that I need to know.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So I think that even though you don't like the couple goals, I think it's important that people see what you're doing.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
That's amazing. That is. Yes. Because being in this field, too, you know how many times we've seen people start it because they just be like, oh, I can do this if they doing it. And then they start it and then they quit.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Yeah. But I feel like it's amazing though because you're pouring into like the younger generation that didn't get to grow up around it the way that you did.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Jehovah! I knew him and his wife wasn't perfect like this.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
You know, they crazy. They crazy. They crazy. What's up, y'all? It's your girl, XP. And it's your girl, Dre Nicole.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Y'all know we have a segment on Poor Minds called Item of the Week. But do you have a product or something that you want to promote and you want it featured on Poor Minds? Your opportunity is here.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Period. If you have an item or you have a business and you want to get it promoted, we are now having slots available on the Poor Minds episode. So if you would like to get your product featured for Item of the Week, all you need to do is send an email to itemoftheweekpm at gmail.com. That's I-T-E-M-O-F-T-H-E-W-E-E-K-P-M at gmail.com. Send us an email and we'll work it out.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
We're going to figure it out. Get your product, get your business sponsored, and, yeah, make you some money.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
But, I mean, any business is welcome. We don't discriminate.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Any business is welcome. Obviously, like I said, I love Sisters. Thank you so much. I've been watching season one. I am tuned in. Yes. I love you and Fatima. Then you're on The Tima.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And then you also have a new movie coming out. Yes. It just came out today.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Yes, Meet Me Next Christmas. On Netflix, make sure y'all stream it. Yes, on Netflix. So I definitely want to talk to you about Sisters. Yes. Let's talk about Zach and his character development over the years.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I think that's why people really love it, though, because I think people can see parts of themselves and their relationships in you and Fatima's relationship on the show.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So, you are in the Tyler Perry universe. Yes. Obviously.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I got to ask this because how was y'all's filming schedule? Because you know they be saying he filmed movies in 30 minutes.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Wow, Tyler. But Crystal told us that too when she came on the show. Shout out to Crystal. Hey, girl.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
This seems the longest hair. And let me ask you. Don't be sitting in the living room for 30 minutes. It's the whole episode.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
We were on the mic screaming, team listeners. Girl, what are you screaming for?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And the thing is, I get it. Talk about it. He don't never make us wait too long. It be like three months in between seasons. I don't wait, too. I be up here tapping my foot. I be ready.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
But I shoot 25 episodes in a week, bitch. Six seasons gonna drop in a month. I gotta ask you this.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Do you ever get your scripts, though, and you be like... No, you fucking lying. Because sisters is so chaotic. You want me to tell the truth? It just be like, are you fucking kidding me? Like when I found out that Karen was pregnant with your baby and a preacher man, I was like, and it only happens to like 1% of people. I was like, Tyler Perry, be so fucking for real right now.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I just knew it wasn't going to be your baby.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Six seasons. And see, I was giving grace. I'm talking about three seasons.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And I know she ain't going to have a baby until next season.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
They love tea. They love mess. You see what I'm saying? I be complaining about the seasons, but I be tuned in.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
You see what I'm saying? But they do that. I just be waiting for it. I see people constantly complain about Tyler Perry, but every time he drops a movie, it's number one. Every time he drops a movie. Beauty in Black. It goes to number one. Oh, Beauty in Black. I finished that in a day. You want to hear something else? By the time I finished Beauty in Black, it was afternoon for y'all.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Honestly, I will never be mad at Tyler Perry too because I'm not an actress and I'm not in Hollywood, but I will say we've had a lot of actors and actresses sitting on the couch and they talk about how hard it is to get roles. He keeps the people paid.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Oh, no, I was just going to say, and I feel like, at least for me, I be complaining because Tyler Perry don't give us that instant gratification. Like, people be wanting instant gratification. Like, I want to know what the fuck is going to happen. And he do not let you know right away. It's going to go on for seasons and seasons.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
He be edging. He be edging. I'm done. And he is a pro at it. But the shows are so good. Like, you can't stop watching. It's so good. So, it's like, you're going to complain. You're going to be like, come on. Like, when we going to know what the climax is, but then you can't stop watching. So, I'll tell you. He's a pro at that. That's why he, what did he say? Three billion.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And I be right there. Me too. I'm on Tyler Perry's show. With my popcorn. You see what I'm saying? Did y'all watch this motherfucking show?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And whether people like it or not, they still be talking. I'm a person who I just be feeling like, you know, all publicity is good publicity. All publicity is publicity. People always talking about it every time he drops something.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
It's the number one trending on... So wait, we got off topic a little bit, but talk about the new movie.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
It's a Christmas movie. I love a good Christmas movie. Me too. And it's a rom-com.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Dip it low. Pick it up slow. Come on, now. Still number one in my household. Come on, now.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
What was the movie that she did with Nick Cannon? Love Don't Cost a Thing. Oh, my God. Perry. That was her character's name, Perry. Come on. I used to, I'd be like, oh my God, she is just so beautiful. Still beautiful.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
She's really, she has a few Netflix rom-coms. I watched all of them. She can do a damn rom-com.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I thought you was going to ask me. And why did he need a double walking through truth?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
We love you, too. Y'all are hilarious. This has been such a good episode. Hey, y'all. It's Drayna Cole, CEO of Muse Beauty. Are you ready to take your beauty brand to the next level? Well, I've got something special just for you. I'm introducing the keys to a successful e-commerce brand e-book.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
In this guide, I spill all of my secrets on how I built Muse Beauty from the ground up into a global beauty brand, serving thousands of customers from all over the world. From defining your brand vision to mastering marketing strategies, this book literally covers it all. plus exclusive highlights and tips that you won't find anywhere else. But wait, y'all, it's more.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Check out my curated vendors list featuring over 50 top suppliers in the beauty, fashion, and packaging industries. Whether you need cosmetics, accessories, clothing, or chic packaging, I've got you covered. So what are you waiting for? Go to www.musebeautycollection.com and get your e-book, your vendors list, or you can bundle them both together. All right, bye, y'all.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So, yes, it's time to bring in the question. You know, pour your heart out. If you have any questions, you can always send them to askpoorminds at gmail.com. That's A-S-K-P-O-U-R-M-I-N-D-S at gmail.com. Send us your questions. Send us your testimonials because sometimes we be giving y'all bad advice. That's a fact. Okay, so this is the question. You think you give good advice?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Well, we about to get developed perspective.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I've been following you guys for about four or five years now, and I always feel in tune with you guys weekly. And I look forward to Fridays religiously. It's always so enlightening that I connect with most topics each week. I'm a Leo. I just turned 30 in July. I have an eight-year-old daughter, and I just left the most stereotypical one-and-a-half-year jail relationship who wasn't her father.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I met him through my friend who I've known since middle school. We always planned to be on love after lockup once he was close to a date. And now that he's in... Lexi, you wrote into the show?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Now, see? Oh, my fucking God. He seen when I jumped on these. I see you.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I see you. You said like, wait a minute. Oh, y'all about to love this next part. Wait. Y'all about to love this next part. She said, and now that he is home, he ended things with me saying I'm not for him. Such a blessing. I wasn't embarrassed on TV like that, LOL. It felt like I was literally stabbed in the heart and I seen a future with him.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I knew there was something off about intuition and I would ask and he would say he was locked in and is with me. He sent me gifts, money, seen and talked to him daily and weekly until he didn't need me anymore and he was close to release. I feel like I dodged a bullet. And I also feel stupid as hell. But I say this.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I say this to say that this week's episode, y'all made me feel like the show must go on. And I need to focus on me way more, LOL. And there's nothing wrong with it. I love you guys. Y'all are like my big sissies for real. And God does amazing things through you too. So I guess it wasn't really a question. It was a testimony.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
It was a testimony. I'm glad you left that nigga alone. That nigga wasn't locked in. That nigga was locked up. And let me tell y'all, because I see this a lot.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I'm glad you left that nigga alone, sis. I'm glad we helped you come to your senses.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Well, he came to his senses first. But meeting a man, he was already in jail. She had to leave that nigga alone because God said, all right, he left first.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Which was a blessing in disguise. He said, all right, I'm going to fuck with you. He said, we locked in, ain't no switching up, psych. Ooh. Gotcha. Ooh.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So how do you feel about women dating men in jail? She said they was going to be on love after lockup. Like, what are you doing?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Talk about dyslexia. Nigga don't leave me, Zach.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I can't. I hate this show. It was a very chaotic question. I can't. I mean, to end a chaotic episode.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
But let me say this. To her... Let me say this to her and all women out there, and even men, too. When you really, truly love yourself... something good.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
You never know what's going to come out of my mouth.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
No, but for real, because I went through a time in my life like in my early 30s where I was just like doing anything. And I say, this is so important. Did you ever date somebody? How many? I would have known that, yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
You've never done it? No. Never. She hadn't. Never. Never. She hate me.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
That is, it's something. That's beneath me.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Okay, but it depends on, like, what... But that is... Murder. No. No.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I don't want no stats about no murder. I watch true crime.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Okay, so 80%. But guess what? 100% can't get me. That's my statistic.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I ain't gonna lie. In jail, like dating somebody in jail is crazy to me. Now, I have dated somebody who went. A reformed hood. A reformed. I used to love me a reformed hood nigga back in the day. I've changed. I've grown. But I feel like they deserve a chance, too. I do, too. Society won't give you a chance. I ain't gonna lie.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
That's what I'm saying. So different people accept different things, but this is what I was saying. When you truly, truly love yourself, you will not... accept anything beneath that. When you treat yourself well, when you love yourself, when you've done the work on yourself, you won't even be in a situation where a man can be in jail and get out and you felt used and abused.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Yeah. So you have to really... If we're being honest, yeah. Yeah, you got to really... When you really love yourself and you know the value and what you bring to the table, you're not going to accept no bullshit. I agree. And it takes a while to get there, but whether he left you or you left him or you dodged a bullet, at least you realize that now.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
and you can do what you need to do to move forward.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
You said a word. I don't got $3 billion, but I got $3. Talk about it, Lex.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
It's all right. We got to wrap this shit up.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
You don't want to do the bop? Okay, we ain't going to do the bop.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Let them know where they can find you. What's the bop? Okay, well, we'll do you or bop. What music you been jamming this week?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Lex, I swear to God. We almost the same age.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I'm 35. I'm right behind. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We ain't there. We out there.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Okay, so Tupac changed. Did you ever see that video of Santana twerking and changes?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Okay. You've seen it. He talking about no.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Well, he was twerking. But he ain't twerking. It went viral.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I don't know. It went viral. If it come up on your timeline, it ain't going to not play just because you swiped up. He said that.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
actor, producer, award-winning podcast host, husband, father, athlete.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
That's fair. That's just my man. So Kadeem wasn't like... I'll take your word.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Okay, let us know where they can find your podcast, what days it drops, where they can find you and all that good stuff.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I feel like we got to have you back on the show, you and your wife. Yeah, we got to have y'all together. I'm with it. That would be so good.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Thank y'all so much for tuning in. Make sure y'all subscribe to our Patreon. New episodes drop every Monday. Y'all check out MuseBeautyCollection.com, all that good stuff. What else we got? Make sure you subscribe to the channel. Subscribe to the channel. Tour dates are dropping very soon. Going on tour again. 2025, Poor Mines. We'll be coming back on the road. Get money.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Bye. Y'all make sure y'all share the content, like, subscribe, follow, all that good stuff. And let me say this before we close out. Y'all, there is one Twitter account that is connected to Poor Mines. It's P-O-U-R underscore M-I-N-D-S. Y'all are tagging the wrong Poor Minds page. If you see at Poor Minds with no underscore, that is a fake page. Do not follow that page, okay?
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
They blocked me, Andrea, and the Poor Minds page on both. So we only have one Instagram left. one twitter one tiktok it is p-o-u-r underscore m-i-n-d-s all right and we got a hell of fake facebook page oh the facebook pages it's the our face the crazy thing is our facebook page actually have the least amount of followers so if you're on facebook the one that's ours
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
The one that's not us got like 250,000 followers. But y'all know it's fake if you actually look at the content because the caption is like, whoever it is, don't speak English. Because their captions are like, Bamba Claude. Should men pay bill? Should men pay bill? Yes, no. Check answer below. Block, block. Booyah, booyah, booyah. Like, that's literally what the captions are.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
I like, you know what that DDG is? Bamba Claude. Bamba Claude. I love that video. We ready, Javi? Got a little something, something in my bedroom.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
So please don't make me wait. I'm not waiting. I know that's right. I'm not waiting. There's a meeting in my bedroom.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
We ate that shit. And we'll see y'all next week.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Stop playing with me. We got the one and the only Zavala. Thank you. Thank you so much, Lex.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
Yeah, shout out to 50 Cent. I feel like that resonates with us, too, though, because it was kind of like the same thing when we went on 85 South for the first time. Yeah. Like, that video got millions of views. It hit a million in a week. It hit a million in a week.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
And it just trickled down, and it made people come back to all of our old videos and watch all of our old videos. And I remember on social media, we both gained, like, 80,000 followers. See? Overnight. On our personal pages and the Poor Minds page, like, overnight. It was crazy. That's crazy.
Pour Minds Podcast
You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis
What's up, y'all? It's your girl, XP. And it's your girl, Dre Nicole. And y'all know every week we talk about getting your credit up. You can't do nothing in this world without having good credit.
Pour Minds Podcast
Toot It N Boot It
Everything. Yeah. It has to be spring now. It is, finally. We got our calendars. The sales are going crazy. So thank y'all for the support. Yeah. Vixie's booked in busy. We got different activations with Crown. I'm just really just blessed. Yes. By just being thankful. You know? I love that.
Pour Minds Podcast
Toot It N Boot It
I'm a winner in anything I do. When I worked in insurance, I was a winner. I started bartending five years ago, 2019, January, when I got my certificate. I never knew that. Have you told us that before? I don't think so. I left corporate America and moved to Spain. But in the interim, I was like, yeah. This was fun. I could just do it. Help me party with my friends. Right, right.
Pour Minds Podcast
Toot It N Boot It
Never thought that I would make a career, switch careers completely, have a whole business. But anything that I put my mind to, I'm going to achieve. And I think that's what it takes to be a CEO, to run a business, to be able to hire employees. That first couple years, I couldn't hire nobody. Right. I was grinding. And I still, to this day, do a lot of things behind the scenes. But now...
Pour Minds Podcast
Toot It N Boot It
I'm not operating out of a space of survival. I can be strategic. And now I can hire a team of people to come on. So that way I can multitask, do the show, do the job, do the this, do the that. But again, you have to have that within you. And I'm a winner at everything I do.
Pour Minds Podcast
Toot It N Boot It
Yeah. And entrepreneurship is hard. It's not a walk in the park. Like you really, like they say, you have to put so much of yourself into it. Like it's just so much that people don't see behind the scenes. But I also feel like people get discouraged when it's not instant gratification.
Pour Minds Podcast
Toot It N Boot It
So, like, if they doing it for a few months, they feel like, oh, I should be here already versus... No, you have to really get that shit out the mud. You really have to put your best effort and everything that you have into it and give it time to grow. Give it some space for that fire to catch on. Right. And for people to really grow your following and to really fuck with you and your brand.
Pour Minds Podcast
Toot It N Boot It
Yeah, they don't be hungry. So, Todd, what we drinking today? Okay, so since we're talking about getting it out the mud and all of that, I'm going to call this one some pressure. Ooh! Because that's what we putting on them. We putting on the pressure. Period. Period. So this one's cute, y'all. This can be, you can add it as a mocktail or you can have it as a cocktail. Good.
Pour Minds Podcast
Toot It N Boot It
We have some strawberry. We have some mango. We have some lemon juice in there. We also have a little bit of ginger beer. So it's kind of like a mule, but also like a martini. It's kind of giving. And then I did like a cute little garnish. I took some strawberry leaves and just kind of garnished the top of the drink with that.
Pour Minds Podcast
Toot It N Boot It
I'm going to be listening to Silence in a minute. All these people getting canceled. I mean, when I tell you the devastating...
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
And to be fair, everybody on the show is bad. It is. Nobody on the show is good.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
Yeah, you're painting the picture really well. And then you're doing the voices and everything.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
Thank you. Oh, my gosh. Thank you. We appreciate it.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
You do. You do. Aries. I'm Aries towards cuspy. I'm like right there. I am.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
I feel like that's a good birthday. Because then in 2012, your birthday was 12, 12, 12.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
No, that's so cool. I had niggas... 21 on 12, 12, 12. 21 on 12, 12, 12. Niggas was...
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
Yeah, for sure. I was going to say, I don't want to see that.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
I feel like that's when... When your moon and rising has to, like, count to. Because a Capricorn, Capricorn, Capricorn.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
Because like I said, my homegirl is like that, too.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
He about to cry for the seventh time. I ain't seen a tear yet.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
He need a little more jack. Y'all have a big ass podcast.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
We're going to be doing talk to me, chit chat with me. We're going to be spilling a little tea. Oh, my God. No, you didn't.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
They were on a blog like a few weeks ago and people were in the comments saying that they think that they're in a lavender marriage.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
I don't feel like I would want it to be something.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
Thank you. I agree. But I feel like I wouldn't want it.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
I'll take a shot, too. We're going to see. Hopefully, I'll be drunk.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
You would fall in love. I'm going to fall in love every time.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
I don't know. I don't know how Sagittarius me and get down, though.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
So now it's time to get into the vid. Bow. The vid. Bow.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
He said you can keep it. We was going to keep it.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
See? She might be like, what, Paolo? But I can't ask you more than me.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
But as another woman, I do feel like the female ego is fragile. So, yeah. A lot of women, they get offended when you tell them what they're not doing.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
So you're saying it's good they stole it? Because was we going to be here if they did it?
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
You know, people love to be fake outraged about what they do.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
You can't do that. I can do whatever I want to do, okay? And I will. So, yeah, don't ever.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
Okay. Perfect. Not Julie got us an exclusive. Hello. I'm good.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
The show's over. The show's over. We done. It's over? Yeah. It's over.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
They know what's going on. They see me every week.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
Subscribe to my YouTube. Exactly. You can see me twice a week.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
Come on, yeah. Mommy. Hey, hey. Hey. I've been paying the bills. I don't even need the deluxe. She's saying that shit is natural.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
I'm always going to put you in an Uber, girl. I'm always going to send you a truck. I'm always going to keep you in a book. You give me that shit and I'm stuck. Wild ways. Because a lot of broke niggas from Run away, riding around town, and they looking for my face. Sing it, Drea. Gotta pray to God above you, girl. You know that Savage love you, and I hope that you feel the same.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Made Me Cry FT. Julian Horton
What was it called again? I do not remember. I fall from grace.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Is My Moment
Let's see. Yeah, you like that? That's why she had to turn her head. You blushing. Imagine if you opened the door on your man and say that.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Is My Moment
my baby mama my baby mama I'ma make you my wife I said sorry I can't help you but you know what's interesting I feel like things like that happen to you
Pour Minds Podcast
This Is My Moment
It was a tongue. Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere. I found you, Miss Snoop.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Is My Moment
Don't I look extra slick in this nautica? And just to think, it was you that she bought it for. Hey, that nigga, that nigga ain't down. Shit, don't play with me.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Is My Moment
We got to do it together. We got to stomp on them together. See?
Pour Minds Podcast
This Is My Moment
Oh, we gonna get into that. But anyway, if you don't want to Lee-ba-dee-ba-dee the situation.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Is My Moment
I don't know, but it did not eat. He said, I can even get a yeah or a ooh. Not even a meh or a boo.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Is My Moment
Yes, I was. Because I wasn't nowhere to be found yet. You was in class like this, still tipping them. You was like, ooh. You was probably dancing just like that girl in front of that expedition. That is how she was.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Is My Moment
On TikTok. That lady that he was arguing with on Twitter. I mean, yeah, on TikTok. Okay. He was on the phone screaming.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Is My Moment
We got to do it together. We got to stomp on them together. So? I'm telling you, it's my word. I got your back. That's what I'm saying. We gotta have each other back.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Is My Moment
That's why I will never delete my Snapchat. It's so many good videos on there.
Pour Minds Podcast
This Is My Moment
Oh, you just keep... Telling me... Oh, you just keep... Telling me... Oh, you just keep... Oh, you just keep telling me... And telling me... I thought the record was Skippy. And I was like, what the hell?
Pour Minds Podcast
This Is My Moment
Barry had that... He had a perm. What? And it was laid and curled tight.
Pour Minds Podcast
Premium Wagyu Beef
Yeah, I was at Howard Homecoming a couple weeks ago. Yeah. And it was people walking up to me like, oh my God, I know this is weird, but... I love you on poor mine. Ty, you're a star. You're a household name, Ty. You're a household name.
Pour Minds Podcast
Premium Wagyu Beef
Okay. This is good. This one is called Nutty by Nature. I knew you was going to like it. I like that. That's how I'm like it. That's me today. We a little crazy. Yes. Perfect. It aligns all the time. It does. So this one we have your spirit of choice, whether it's vodka, tequila. This would also be really good with like a bourbon or whiskey if you're at home as well. We have some lime juice.
Pour Minds Podcast
Premium Wagyu Beef
We have some pistachio syrup. So that's what's giving some kind of like that nuttiness, that pistachio syrup in there. And then we added a little bit of Angostura bitters just to kind of give it a little bit more of that herbal flavoring. And we garnished it with a toasted marshmallow because it's bonfire season. Can't wait to toast me some marshmallows and graham crackers. Yes. I love that. Yeah.
Pour Minds Podcast
Premium Wagyu Beef
So we have that one toasted with some marshmallows. And this is the Nutty by Nature. This is delicious.
Pour Minds Podcast
Premium Wagyu Beef
Can I have one? When they don't boast and brag about their sex. Yes. For me, I know, because now I done built a whole... Oh, my God.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
You're going to definitely play. If you see that, once you watch that movie and you see her, you'll be like, oh, yeah, I can do that. Yeah. I can for sure do that. Okay, Ty, what are we drinking today?
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
A travel pack? I need a travel pack for my hair on.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
And y'all know we are in a new year, and we all have new weight loss goals. So we're going to tell y'all how to reach your goals at 4HERS.com.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Yes, all you have to do is go to 4HERS.com and they'll get you a personalized treatment plan. So they have oral treatments, GLP-1 injections, whatever you need to reach your goals. So what you're going to do is go to 4HERS.com backslash poor minds and start your weight loss journey today. Start your initial free online visit today at 4HERS.com slash poorminds.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S dot com slash poorminds for your personalized weight loss treatment options. 4HERS.com slash poorminds. HERS weight loss is not available everywhere. Compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. Restrictions apply. Wegovi and Ozempic are not compounded. Actual price depends on product and plan purchase.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
And y'all know we are always talking to y'all about how important your credit is. So we have linked with kickoff.com to get your credit score boosted.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Ooh, I like that. Save a little money. Kickoff has over 100,000 reviews and 98% of them are five stars. So I'm telling you, if you are having problems getting your credit together, Kickoff is the site for you. So what you're going to do is go to getkickoff.com backslash poorminds. That's getkickoff.com backslash poorminds and get your credit right today.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
That's kickoff without the C. Get 80% off at kickoff.com slash poor minds. Must sign up via getkickoff.com slash poor minds to activate offer. Offer applies to new customers first month only. Subject to approval. Offer subject to change. Terms and conditions may apply. Point stat based on Equifax.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Advantage score 3.0 changes for kickoff users starting under 600 who made their first on-time payment between January 2021 and March 2024. Payment and credit activity outside kickoff can have an impact on your credit. Individual results may vary.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Everything. That's why we be bleeping our cuss words out.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
They make a lot of money, but it's so hard to get, what are they called? Because it's not, is it subscribers on Twitch? What's it called?
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
You post every day at this time, I'm going to push your content out. So I think it's all of that stuff, like with the algorithm and stuff now, it's so tricky and it's so hard. But like I say, anybody that has a podcast out there or doing skits or vlogs or whatever you're doing, I always say I never understand what people do things in seasons. Or when they take breaks. I never understand.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
It works for some people. Maybe it does. We ain't taking no breaks over here.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
You are. Like... My hair can't reach no goddamn bun.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Get to sleep. You can go to sleep in the back. I be curling my hair with rice.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Yes, and it also can help you find doctors that are in your insurance and your network. So whatever you need, you're going to go to ZocDoc.com backslash poor minds. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com backslash poor minds.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash poor minds. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash poor minds to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Yes, and they're free from all the harsh chemicals, so you won't be doing no damage down there, okay? So if you want to try Good Wipes, they'll be available at Target, Kroger... Any place that you can get your local groceries and you can find them in the toilet paper aisle. If you're more of an online shopper, look on Amazon. Tell them we sent you.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
If you want to upgrade your restroom ritual, you can grab good wipes at Target, Walmart, Kroger, and most local grocery stores. Just head to the toilet paper aisle and look for the bright aqua, rose, and emerald packages. They're also available on Amazon if you're more of an online shopper.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
You know what I'm saying? I agree. So she kind of ate that down. Rest in peace to Ms. Lorna. That's a true story. I ain't lie that time.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Ever since I was a little girl, I've loved being on camera, entertaining myself and everybody around me by sharing my thoughts and opinions on anything pop culture. For the past few years, I've heard your requests, but now it's finally time to deliver.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Oh, no. Okay, so yeah, move on, move on. I think you should move on. All right, question number two. I need to vent and figure out how to move forward from this situation, ship.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Period. Muse Beauty. And you can see me featured on the Valentine's Day ad.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
A model. Okay. A true model. Repertoire. Beauty model.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
We're reviewing Love is Blind right now. So y'all make sure y'all tune in. Real Housewives of Atlanta is starting on March 9th.
Pour Minds Podcast
Blame It On Brenda FT. Queen Naija
This is good. This is in honor of our girl Queen over here. This is called The Good Girl, all right? So we do have a mocktail for her, as is mine. You can add any spirit of choice if you'd like. Some rum would go really, really nice, or even some tequila for this as we're approaching the summer. So this one has some passion fruit.
Pour Minds Podcast
Blame It On Brenda FT. Queen Naija
We have some peach puree, a little bit of lime juice, and some pineapple and mango in it. And then we topped hers with a sparkling guava, and we topped Drea's with a sparkling rosé. So it's giving us a nice... spritzy little kind of taste to it. And then what they're eating on, snacking on, I garnished it with two pineapple fronds and then some candied peach rings. So just kind of nostalgic.
Pour Minds Podcast
Blame It On Brenda FT. Queen Naija
It's delicious. It's so good. So cute. Thank you. It is. Cheers, y'all.
Ray William Johnson: True Story Podcast
This Teen Girl Became a Terrorist - The Patty Hearst story
In the last week, it has become obvious to the SLA and to all hungry people and to me that my father has not even attempted to show a gesture of good faith.
Ray William Johnson: True Story Podcast
This Teen Girl Became a Terrorist - The Patty Hearst story
I've chosen to stay and fight. I've been given the name Tanya. Patria o muerte. Venceremos.
Ray William Johnson: True Story Podcast
This Teen Girl Became a Terrorist - The Patty Hearst story
Mom, Dad, I'm okay. I had a few scrapes and stuff, but they've washed them up and they're getting okay. I've caught a cold, but they're giving me pills for it.
Ray William Johnson: True Story Podcast
The Story of Bumfights
No, we have a mutually beneficial relationship with the homeless. We have changed a lot of their lives.
The Best One Yet
💑 “The Parenting Pod” — Our 3 Best Pop-Biz Stories on Parenting
Like, if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie.
The Best One Yet
💑 “The Parenting Pod” — Our 3 Best Pop-Biz Stories on Parenting
Hey, Ty from Seattle. Big fan of the show, both of your shows. My wife and I are new parents. We have a six-week-old at home. Congratulations. Our second date night. It's great. How would you suggest us as new parents help prepare her for her life ahead of her? And then as she gets older, help her on her path to financial literacy? Ty, what's your new baby's name again? Maxine. Max? Maxine.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
I learned that buying assets that can grow over time is the best way to put your money into.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
All right, Nate, what about you?
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
I think it's important that we're reading all these books that you're giving to us. I think it, like, gives you, like, knowledge about what to do in, like, life. Like, I've learned that going for no is like – one way to live your life and expand it. Being able to accept rejection, but then learn from it and move forward, I think that's a big part.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
Everyone nowadays in America, your friends, most people are scared of getting rejected, which is not good. You learn from your friends, as you were saying. Your friends will influence you to be scared of rejection, and I think that's not a good way to look at it. Being scared of rejection is one way that you would just not be able to do anything in life.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
If you're scared of rejection, that means you are failing. If you exceed rejection and you learn from it, that means you can end up succeeding in life.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
I think it's okay to sell people things that they don't need. If they're willing to buy it, then they could keep spending more to get what they wanted until they say no.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
Um, yeah, I think she lets us fail just, like, so we can learn from our failure. Like, I think learning from your failure is one of the biggest things that, like, like, parents need to let you do. Like, I think when you learn from failure, you learn that, like, doing it again will cause you to fail again. So if you learn from your failure, you should succeed in the end through that.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
When you learn from failure, you learn that doing it again will cause you to fail again. So if you learn from your failure, you should succeed in the end.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
Um, so right now, I just got my first job. I'm planning to save my money, put it into investments. And then further in the future, I plan on getting more, like, real world experience and jobs. And then going to college, I'm planning on learning business. And after college, I'm planning on, like...
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
trying to, like, go into the business world, like, start, like, figuring out how to start businesses, starting to learn from other people because I feel like that's, like, an important aspect, learning from people that can have, like, higher knowledge than you, just surrounding yourself with, like, people that, like, know more than you so you can learn from them.