Unknown Speaker 1

So this turd is about to steal 16 million dollars. So let's make fun of him. Now his name is Sandy and Sandy's 55 and he's an accountant living in Texas. And he does accounting for this local bakery known for making fruitcakes. Now, here's the thing. This bakery he works for only pays him about $50,000 a year. And he thinks, yeah, that's not enough.

So this turd is about to steal 16 million dollars. So let's make fun of him. Now his name is Sandy and Sandy's 55 and he's an accountant living in Texas. And he does accounting for this local bakery known for making fruitcakes. Now, here's the thing. This bakery he works for only pays him about $50,000 a year. And he thinks, yeah, that's not enough.

So this turd is about to steal 16 million dollars. So let's make fun of him. Now his name is Sandy and Sandy's 55 and he's an accountant living in Texas. And he does accounting for this local bakery known for making fruitcakes. Now, here's the thing. This bakery he works for only pays him about $50,000 a year. And he thinks, yeah, that's not enough.

But instead of asking for a raise like a normal human being, he decides he's going to steal some money from them. And one day in 2004, he starts doing it. He starts by taking a small amount, just some petty cash lying around. And so he takes this cash and no one realizes it's gone. And Sandy's like, sweet, let's do it again. And so he keeps doing it.

But instead of asking for a raise like a normal human being, he decides he's going to steal some money from them. And one day in 2004, he starts doing it. He starts by taking a small amount, just some petty cash lying around. And so he takes this cash and no one realizes it's gone. And Sandy's like, sweet, let's do it again. And so he keeps doing it.

But instead of asking for a raise like a normal human being, he decides he's going to steal some money from them. And one day in 2004, he starts doing it. He starts by taking a small amount, just some petty cash lying around. And so he takes this cash and no one realizes it's gone. And Sandy's like, sweet, let's do it again. And so he keeps doing it.

Then he like immediately goes and buys himself a gold Lexus. So, you know, his old ass can flex because apparently when you're stealing money, you got to flex because I guess those are the rules. And when his wife is like, where'd you get all the money for this car? Sandy tells her that one of his accounting clients gave it to him as a gift. And I guess she just like believes him.

Then he like immediately goes and buys himself a gold Lexus. So, you know, his old ass can flex because apparently when you're stealing money, you got to flex because I guess those are the rules. And when his wife is like, where'd you get all the money for this car? Sandy tells her that one of his accounting clients gave it to him as a gift. And I guess she just like believes him.

Then he like immediately goes and buys himself a gold Lexus. So, you know, his old ass can flex because apparently when you're stealing money, you got to flex because I guess those are the rules. And when his wife is like, where'd you get all the money for this car? Sandy tells her that one of his accounting clients gave it to him as a gift. And I guess she just like believes him.

And so now his petty cash theft scheme is working. No one has noticed, any money is missing, his wife believes his story for some reason, and that is when Sandy is like, I wonder if I could take even more. And so being the bakery's accountant, he comes up with this whole elaborate scheme to use the bakery's check writing software to embezzle money from them and pay it to himself.

And so now his petty cash theft scheme is working. No one has noticed, any money is missing, his wife believes his story for some reason, and that is when Sandy is like, I wonder if I could take even more. And so being the bakery's accountant, he comes up with this whole elaborate scheme to use the bakery's check writing software to embezzle money from them and pay it to himself.

And so now his petty cash theft scheme is working. No one has noticed, any money is missing, his wife believes his story for some reason, and that is when Sandy is like, I wonder if I could take even more. And so being the bakery's accountant, he comes up with this whole elaborate scheme to use the bakery's check writing software to embezzle money from them and pay it to himself.

And he starts off by basically writing himself a $20,000 check and funneling it into his own account. And again, it works. He's able to do his accounting abracadabra and cover his tracks and no one at the bakery knows this money is missing. Because here's the thing about this bakery. This bakery looks like a small town place, but these guys actually sell a lot of fruitcakes.

And he starts off by basically writing himself a $20,000 check and funneling it into his own account. And again, it works. He's able to do his accounting abracadabra and cover his tracks and no one at the bakery knows this money is missing. Because here's the thing about this bakery. This bakery looks like a small town place, but these guys actually sell a lot of fruitcakes.

And he starts off by basically writing himself a $20,000 check and funneling it into his own account. And again, it works. He's able to do his accounting abracadabra and cover his tracks and no one at the bakery knows this money is missing. Because here's the thing about this bakery. This bakery looks like a small town place, but these guys actually sell a lot of fruitcakes.

like tens of millions of dollars worth a year. And so they're not going to notice they're $20,000 short. And so keeping that in mind, he decides, hell yeah, let's do it again. And over time, he steals again and again and again. He keeps writing checks to his own account until he siphoned off a ton of money from this little establishment.

like tens of millions of dollars worth a year. And so they're not going to notice they're $20,000 short. And so keeping that in mind, he decides, hell yeah, let's do it again. And over time, he steals again and again and again. He keeps writing checks to his own account until he siphoned off a ton of money from this little establishment.

like tens of millions of dollars worth a year. And so they're not going to notice they're $20,000 short. And so keeping that in mind, he decides, hell yeah, let's do it again. And over time, he steals again and again and again. He keeps writing checks to his own account until he siphoned off a ton of money from this little establishment.

And of course, now that he's got all this free money, he's gotta go spend it on some dumb shit. Because like I said, when you steal money, you gotta flex. That's the rule. And so he goes on these shopping sprees and he buys himself designer clothes. He remodels his whole kitchen with granite everything. He builds this big-ass wine cellar at his house and he fills it up with expensive wines.

And of course, now that he's got all this free money, he's gotta go spend it on some dumb shit. Because like I said, when you steal money, you gotta flex. That's the rule. And so he goes on these shopping sprees and he buys himself designer clothes. He remodels his whole kitchen with granite everything. He builds this big-ass wine cellar at his house and he fills it up with expensive wines.