Unnamed Speaker 13

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It's very rare for people to go inside.

Yep.

Really.

Oh my god, Kreek.

If only you had Kreek.

It's a 10. Oh, you're disadvantaged, because darkvision, you're disadvantaged. Oh, really? Yeah. What's the point of having fucking darkvision, then?

Hawk, pray tell, what do we see, Queenie? You really are just scrim, aren't you? There's no difference between you and Scrooge. Okay, there's some difference. Let's not be cruel here.

Listen, Savage Scotch, we taught you better than that on the Moorbound.

It might. No, it ain't Roman. It might serve us in bartering.

It ain't from him. In negotiations.

Oh, I mean, that sounds like it was a good thing we were going so fast.

And to be fair, those ogres had troll-like properties, didn't they?

Or it just sounds like a guy hit by a freaking ship. We need to turn the ship around. We need to find an anchor. Mr. Yornir, help me.

I'm Pablo Torre, and this episode of Pablo Torre Finds Out is brought to you by Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale. Exceptionally smooth cognac for all your game day festivities. Please drink responsibly, because today we're going to find out what this sound is.

That's true. This is now a separate ongoing PTO phone investigation. Is Lewis Hamilton's penis pierced? I am looking at the photo that is available here. And it's an important detail, I think, for those not watching on YouTube. This was 2022. And Lewis Hamilton has three watches. He has a zillion rings. He has so many necklaces and is also wearing a mask.

Which is just like to prove the point about all of the gear that he has.

In a world where this guy's c**k is pierced, many drivers gather for a contest of wills.

I definitely love this. I love that this worked out like this for you.

So Drive to Survive, right, is the showcase in which, by the way, it became clear that swearing is key to the sport. Yeah.

Like, who's the character there where it's like, meet this guy and know what it means to be profane?

As there is now talk, as you were referring to, Jess, of like this galvanization of a driver's strike being threatened, we're reading, as the FIA is threatening to take away points as a matter of enforcement.

I wanted to get to the reporting around the science of this that you did, which I was a bit surprised to hear would enter the conversation as we have been fairly legal and profane in our legality. But what did you find out?

Wait, so I'm understanding this clearly. I want to just ask you, Jess. He's suggesting that swearing is also kind of a performance-enhancing drug?

But now the other part of this, I imagine is, look, it's not even really up to us. Like this is just a thing we need to do because it's a release. What is our professor, author, scientist friend saying about that?

Well, this is the comedy of watching any, certainly any playoff game in the NBA and watching any postgame interview in which they are like sweating from every pore and like huffing and puffing. And then they have to answer, you know, questions from fill in the blank, your favorite sideline reporter here. Uh, asking them to contemplate their successes, failures, and existential fears.

Yeah, my answer would be, I am exhausted and I just want to puke. And I just want to actually curse at you for asking me to stay.

And then it's just like the demographics of this. Because these guys, again, when you mentioned Dune, I'm like, yeah, Chalamet looks like an F1 driver. These are all… Doesn't he? Am I wrong? He's tiny.

I think Chalamet is… How tall is Chalamet?

5'10", according to an increasingly flawed Google search result.

Oh my God.

It looks like Jalen Phillips is going to hold Yuki Tsunoda in the palm of his hand and throw him across the field.

But yes, they're young dudes is my point. That's the chalamet of it all.

I'm going with get in the golf cart, drive away. You two, leave them behind.

That is simultaneously a deeply interesting research finding and also the least surprising research finding imaginable. That people who play Call of Duty don't understand why it is that all of you guys are offended when they call someone... Fill in the blank, slur, wrapped inside, five other slurs.

I also just think it's, I think it's, I'm just trying to like power rank the least censored places in life. And I do think like video game, multiplayer, Call of Duty.

Yeah, kind of feels like the FIA, to quote our resident expert, being a real bunch of p***s. Your words, not mine.

Speaking to clinics of the human language, Kevin Clark, you did something that felt like a real make-a-wish experience for everybody in sports. Can you tell us what you did last week?

As F1 likes to say, you are a steward.

You're on a tremendous amount of meth.

incredible well well what's funny though jess about kevin's sort of description of of of the sickness that you also share right is that to me it's never more vivid than in the universe of paul fine correct like these callers and we did an episode about this on our show talking to some of the some of the greats uh specifically the greatest uh legend legend um

Like, legend is this personification of that sickness. For those who missed Kevin Clark playing the role in your playbill tonight of Paul Feinbaum, my favorite call did sound like this.

I like the idea that Kevin Clark was like, look— If we join forces, this guy is going to be scared to death.

I mean... Yeah. So, it was a roller coaster for you.

Of me-centric.

I was going to say, this is, I think, a thing that would definitely fail the gorilla test. And I'm going to infer based on the, what city was this in? Jacksonville. Oh, that is scary, actually. I'm very glad that both of you are here, Jess, Smetana, Kevin Clark.

I mean, I would say that among the things you could do as a college football unhinged maniac... This is up there, man.

Yeah, I would recommend anybody who is forced to host a show talking about a sport they don't actually like to find perhaps a profanity scandal that would allow them to spend upwards of 30 minutes discussing it.

Oh, boy. All right. So... At the end of every episode of Pablo Latorre finds out, which has been hijacked perpetually by the ongoing feud between Notre Dame and Miami.

Right after this ad.

No one cares where your travel happens.

We end by saying what it is we found out today. Oh. Jess, what did you find out today after this journey into the profane heart of this sport that you love and also Kevin's dream?

What I found out today is that Jess Matana's grandma is more than qualified to be the through line through this episode as either an F1 driver or a caller into Paul Feinbaum's radio show.

I summoned you because you share a love of the sport that I don't know a lot about, but I've assigned Jess to not only teach me about when it comes to this specific story, but also do a bit of reporting. And I was in, Jess, immediately when the elevator pitch was, F1 is banning profanity.

Our theme song, as always, is by John Bravo. And we will talk to you next time.

And the question, Kevin, I have fundamentally is why? why the f*** would they care?

Right, the science fair aspect.

F1 is also the White Lotus for lots of people.

As we establish how prevalent cursing had been in F1, I also want to establish, of course, Jess Smetana, as somebody who was on the record, of course, as a subject matter expert, an expert witness, in this regard as well. You bitch. Yeah. More finger pointing.

And that apparently, Jess, is how a lot of the drivers in this sport also are talking.

Yeah, it feels like it was cleaned up for the ivory tower so we can understand it. Yes. Thank you. I appreciate that. And it feels like one of the first things that happened is that the young superstar, Max Verstappen, got into a presser. This was in September at the Singapore Grand Prix, another event. Location known for its harsh regulations around appropriate conduct, I suppose. Singapore.

And did say, quote, when asked about the state of the car he was qualifying in, it was f***ed.

The F1, quote-unquote, stewards.

The stewards summoned him. What the hell is that about? They summoned him for a conduct hearing. He got punished. And the punishment, and this is crucial, Jess, was not a fine, but rather what?

So all of this now is not merely the White Lotus, but also the character on the White Lotus who, like, is trying to go to a foreign country and be, like, a better person. Correct.

Yeah, Piper, yeah. Max, no! What is happening? Community service? This is a thing? Like, this has not happened in other sports that I am familiar with.

Wow. Poor Charles. No, he actually did the no. No. Max, no. So these guys, what did he get, by the way? What befell him in lieu?

Right.

So the assumption was that this meant you can't swear on TV. right? Or that you couldn't swear in a race. And I should also clarify for those not familiar with the sport you guys love that when you are racing, you are by definition mic'd up on television or how does this work?

So that is the, that's like the anti-NFL, like that's the opposite of what the NFL's approach has been, which is, wasn't it like Sam Darnold said, I'm seeing ghosts out there? And then everyone was like, we can never let anybody be this vulnerable ever again.

Seeing ghosts.

Right. In other words, to quote the umpire yelling at Terry Collins, everybody's ass would be in the jackpot in that case.

The other thing all of this makes me think of, Jess, the whole ambiguity, the whole why is this even necessary? Why does this feel like this is a top-down thing that nobody actually wants?

Yeah, I was going to say, what's the difference between a golf course fight and like a Target or Airline Gate flight?

It reminds me of the NBA dress code where there was some aspect of like, this sport is actually like too urban, too black, and we need to make this saleable so that living rooms across America feel like they can show this to their kids and everybody can have a grand old time.

What I don't get about this, though, is that when I am thinking about the spectrum of sports across the world, that concern applies to so little of what I imagine F1's issues are as a marketing industry. issue as a marketing problem? What are they worried about?