Vanessa Marin

She's a new friend of mine, and she didn't get hers.

And I was like, I really hope I get my gummy bears.

Good.

Well, first of all, I just want to say I'm really excited for this person to get back out there and to be in a healthier relationship.

Obviously, there's a lot of grief and sadness of having to process that and move on, but I'm super excited for them to find somebody new and find something better.

So I think a great starting point would be to take some time to reflect on what you learned about yourself in that past relationship and in particular what you learned about your sexuality.

We can always take all of our experiences and figure out what are things that I want to replicate in the future and what are things that I do not want again in the future.

So particularly when it comes to sex, I would think about what were some of my favorite experiences?

What were the times that I felt the most connected to my partner?

And what were the things that I didn't enjoy so much?

And have those be your barometers going forward and what you're looking for in a partner.

And then what I always say to people from the beginning when you're starting a relationship, actually, our book is such a great resource because a lot of people will tell us, oh, well, I'm not in a relationship.

I can't read it.

But it's actually really useful to get started on a good foot, you know, right when you're getting started with a new relationship.

Like, yeah, start talking about sex.

Obviously not on your first date in the first five minutes, but, you know, get a sense of how comfortable or not comfortable that person is with their sex life.

So

Once you've gotten a couple of dates in, maybe just ask a pretty general question like, what's your relationship with sex?

How important is sex to you?

What does physical intimacy mean to you?