Vaughn

Listen, Tess, I'll put in words that you can understand.

I'm sorry, what was that?

New phone. Who this? No date. I'm good.

Doing good.

No, I participate in a run club. I don't know if you've ever done one of those before.

Okay. If you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you wear a color.

There had to have been at least 100 people. There's a party.

It's a crazy thing because there's a lot of hot chicks there. What?

We're pretty good. That's how I met Tess. Tess, okay.

Yeah, she had really nice calves.

Yeah, we met up a few days later at a bar. Perfect. And I had a great time.

Yeah, give us the highlights. All right, so I've been watching my diet lately, so I compiled this note card. Note card. I told her this is how many calories that we burned on our run.

And now we had to gain it back on the menu.

Well, we just kind of hung out and grabbed some drinks and had a good time. It was amazing. The place that we were at had some really cool tall shelves.

Yeah. I've never heard that.

Yeah, yeah. It looked like you put books on it, but they had a bunch of mugs on it.

Yeah, kind of like steins. So these drunk dudes are by there. I don't know why they're standing by there, but they're kind of hanging out and stumbling around there. They actually bumped... one of the shelves that was holding this really expensive-looking one. Oh, God. It was about to come down, and I saw that Tessa's right underneath it. I made a quick movement, just pulled her out of the way.

She got a little upset, but then crashed right behind her with the mug. No!

Oh, after she saw what crashed behind her, then she realized that would have been her.

You nailed it. It was like one of those kiss moments. It was. And she gave me one right on the cheek.

Oof.

Yeah, I went to one and didn't see her at the last one.

Yeah, I gave her a couple messages. She hasn't replied back.

Oh, I felt like the man of the restaurant. I was that guy.

No, you'd be surprised, but there weren't many people watching.

What am I going to do? Just let a heavy glass mug fall on your head and potentially give you a concussion?

Yeah. I'm sorry. As a man, I naturally have to be in the position to save people. And whether you're a stranger or somebody I've met for an hour.

Ew.

So if this scenario plays out a second time, you don't want me to give you a heads up? Like, hey, look out.