Vogue

Hilarious.

Hi Vogue, Amber and Emo.

Listening to Vogue's story about her puke scissors reminds me of something that happened to me.

Years ago, when I was still living with my parents, my mom told me that my auntie and her four feral cousins from the country were coming up to spend the night.

On hearing this news, I noped the fuck out of there and spent the night in my boyfriend's house.

The next day I arrived home but was still not motivated to spend time with the feral family, so I decided to head straight upstairs and have an everything shower to waste time.

I did the works, even a full on skincare routine.

Eventually I had to bite the bullet and go downstairs.

After a few pleasantries, my auntie turned around and said, that little foot brush you have in the shower is great.

I completely removed all the dirt from the kids' feet after running around barefoot in the garden yesterday.

I stood there, confused, not knowing what this wild woman was on about.

But then it dawned on me.

She was talking about my facial brush.

The one I had just used while having my everything shower.

The previous day, she scrubbed all four feral children's feet with my facial brush.

I wanted to peel my face off.

To add insult to injury, I went to my room to scream, cry, or vomit.

I hadn't decided yet.

To find one of the feral children had gone into my room during the night and vomited all over my bed.

Nowhere and nothing was safe.