Wild Bill

And the other fellows, who turned out to be Colombians, looked at me thinking that I was like a stupid tourist, which I was a stupid tourist, but they didn't understand what I had in mind.

And so I said, and in Spanish, ¿Dónde está el baño?

But I said it like really poorly because I spoke poor Spanish.

Where is the bathroom?

And the Colombian says to me, hey, get the fuck out of here, you know, go on, shoo, shoo, gringo.

And so I smiled and continued to walk.

And he said, didn't you hear me?

And I hit him as hard as I could hit anybody in the, I've ever hit anybody in my whole life.

I mean, I hit him as hard as a human being can be hit in the face.

I hit him square in the nose, face and, you know, and with the same instant just snatched the pistol right out of his hand because he had it kind of down by his side.

I just reached and snatched the pistol out of his hand and chambered around.

It was a little, a little black,

rusty ass nine millimeter pistol the three boy colombian boys eyes got really big and so the guy laying on the ground starts screaming he says i'm gonna kill you gringo blah blah blah blah blah and so i just shot him in the kneecap wow i gave him one through the knee and then he screamed bloody murder and and and and he's like rocking back and forth on the ground and i told the other two boys i said scoop his ass up and get him the fuck out of here

So that's what they did.

They scooped him up and they threw him back in this little pickup truck and drove away.

And Mario's looking at me very, very nervously, me holding that pistol.

And I ejected the magazine from the pistol, unchambered the round that was in it, and handed Mario the pistol stock first.

And he took the pistol from me and I gave him the magazine.

I said, keep this because you might need it.

And he's like, thank you, Bill.