William Chopik

Yeah, and there's a sense in which a lot of adolescents have that experience too, where they really have a difficult time finding their way in the world and negotiating boundaries with parents.

But then over time, we also sort of write and weave our own life story.

And there's some mythologizing we do about ourselves, but there's also a sense in which we try to make sense and meaning out of these experiences that happen to us.

Yeah.

The fact that you have a good relationship now, despite maybe not a great start, suggests that maybe you've grown in some way.

Maybe you've learned from things and that's why your relationships are better.

Yeah, so that's the more controversial part that we're not entirely sure.

So in one sense, it's good to be consistent in how you view relationships.

So it helps you guide decisions in the world, whether you trust strangers, how you behave on a first date.

So there's a sense in which all these memories are sort of integrated.

In a way, they sort of are who you are as a person, are your experiences and how you remember them.

So, yeah, part of it is, you know, forming this coherent life narrative and life story.

So in that sense, it serves a function because hopefully by this age, we know who we are as people and why we are the way we are.

So it gives you comfort and kind of consistency in your life that, you know, okay, all this stuff makes sense.

This is why and the way I am.

And people search their whole lives for that kind of closure.

Yeah, thanks so much for having me.

Yeah, I mean, for the most part, people share your narrative.

So I think they look at Americans or people in their own lives that have caused trouble or given them difficulty and they say, oh my God, that person's so narcissistic.

Or here's this arrogant American being portrayed on TV or in movies or something.