WSHIT Reporter

And welcome back to WSHIT 715 News. It's news you can use before you snooze. In breaking news, the whole world is talking about the astronauts who became astronauts by not even traveling to space. In a giant leap forward for humanity, these five brave souls took a very short plane flight, risking life, limb, and pedicures, and somehow managed to find a way back to Earth safely.

leaving the entire world in awe and not a dry eye in the house. Our intrepid WSHIT reporter on the ground managed to catch some of the first words out of one of these astronauts mouths. Words that will certainly be written about and remembered in the history books. These words are already reverberating around the entire globe.

Such profundity could only be expected from someone who experienced such a journey. Let's listen to that clip now.

The astronauts went on to say that they only survived the ordeal because they hung on to their motto of taking up space. Taking up space indeed. These brave humans truly are putting the ass back in astronaut. We'll be back after this commercial break.