Zach Hollis
Appearances
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
The other day my smartwatch notified me that I was having a fantastic workout. I was taking a shit. I don't think I could ever have a normal job, because every time I tighten that tie, my dick gets hard. I've been getting into BDSM lately, or at least that's what my girl tells the cops. Sometimes I fantasize about orgies, so they don't let me near schools anymore.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
I think I'm pretty good at flirting, but it's hard to tell between all their muffled screams, you know? I don't like to waste leftovers, so I always eat the fetus afterwards. Why do people fantasize about having a zombie apocalypse? You could eat people right now. You don't have to wait, man. All right, I think that's probably about my time.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
You know, it's a short amount of time, so I was really trying to squeeze what I could in there. Yeah, it's not much, I give it.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
All around town, Roscoe's, Kick Butt. So Austin is the answer.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
Right now I'm a karaoke DJ on the weekends. Ooh, a karaoke DJ.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
Oh, it's awful, man. They're always trying to skip the line, bullshit around, yeah.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
Every week, yeah. They try to bribe their way on stage. The worst excuse I've had was, I'm dying of cancer. Wow. Did you let them cut the line? No, of course not.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
Karaoke DJ. Nothing else about it? I mean, I'm doing DoorDash on the weekends, or I'm doing DoorDash in between doing DJ stuff.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, as much as I can, you know. What do you like to eat? You are shaped a specific way. I mean, I love a good burger, you know. It's always nice.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
Yeah. They used to call me a bear in college because I'm so damn hairy, you know.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
All right. Not in a good gay way, just, you know, insulting.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
What do you do for fun, Zach? For fun? I'm big into video games. Yeah, I'm addicted to them. I love it.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
I'm playing a new one, Claire Obscure, that came out this week. It's amazing.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
It's an RPG. It's turn-based. It's a big-budget story. It's really nice. I like it a lot.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
What's your love life like? My love life? Me and my girl bought a house about four months ago. Okay. Nice. Headed towards marriage eventually. We'll see. I love it. How can you afford a house? Who the hell knows? I worked hard before that, but now I'm trying to get into comedy, so, you know. What did you do before that? I used to repair restaurants. Okay.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
Absolutely amazing. Where are you doing with all those bedrooms? I mean, got my computer in one, got the dogs in the other, and then we stay in the last one, you know? Computer in one, dogs in the other.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
Oh, it's pretty bad. It's like $2,000 before bills and everything on top of that.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
Not enough. I'll tell you that much. It's getting scary quick. Give us a ballpark. Maybe like $10,000 in the bank.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
Honestly, I'm not sure. I've never asked her that direct question. She's definitely the breadwinner right now. Well, you look like the bread eater. Yeah, I am. My goodness. And what does she do again? She works for a nursing certification board, so she certifies nurses. So that's like a real job.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
When work can afford, obviously, our schedules don't really align.
KILL TONY
#718 - JAMES MCCANN + KIM CONGDON
I don't know. Maybe like three times a week, maybe. Three times a week?