Zach Hollis
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
The other day my smartwatch notified me that I was having a fantastic workout. I was taking a shit. I don't think I could ever have a normal job, because every time I tighten that tie, my dick gets hard. I've been getting into BDSM lately, or at least that's what my girl tells the cops. Sometimes I fantasize about orgies, so they don't let me near schools anymore.
The other day my smartwatch notified me that I was having a fantastic workout. I was taking a shit. I don't think I could ever have a normal job, because every time I tighten that tie, my dick gets hard. I've been getting into BDSM lately, or at least that's what my girl tells the cops. Sometimes I fantasize about orgies, so they don't let me near schools anymore.
I think I'm pretty good at flirting, but it's hard to tell between all their muffled screams, you know? I don't like to waste leftovers, so I always eat the fetus afterwards. Why do people fantasize about having a zombie apocalypse? You could eat people right now. You don't have to wait, man. All right, I think that's probably about my time.
I think I'm pretty good at flirting, but it's hard to tell between all their muffled screams, you know? I don't like to waste leftovers, so I always eat the fetus afterwards. Why do people fantasize about having a zombie apocalypse? You could eat people right now. You don't have to wait, man. All right, I think that's probably about my time.
You know, it's a short amount of time, so I was really trying to squeeze what I could in there. Yeah, it's not much, I give it.
You know, it's a short amount of time, so I was really trying to squeeze what I could in there. Yeah, it's not much, I give it.
All around town, Roscoe's, Kick Butt. So Austin is the answer.
All around town, Roscoe's, Kick Butt. So Austin is the answer.
Right now I'm a karaoke DJ on the weekends. Ooh, a karaoke DJ.
Right now I'm a karaoke DJ on the weekends. Ooh, a karaoke DJ.
Oh, it's awful, man. They're always trying to skip the line, bullshit around, yeah.
Oh, it's awful, man. They're always trying to skip the line, bullshit around, yeah.
Every week, yeah. They try to bribe their way on stage. The worst excuse I've had was, I'm dying of cancer. Wow. Did you let them cut the line? No, of course not.
Every week, yeah. They try to bribe their way on stage. The worst excuse I've had was, I'm dying of cancer. Wow. Did you let them cut the line? No, of course not.
Karaoke DJ. Nothing else about it? I mean, I'm doing DoorDash on the weekends, or I'm doing DoorDash in between doing DJ stuff.
Karaoke DJ. Nothing else about it? I mean, I'm doing DoorDash on the weekends, or I'm doing DoorDash in between doing DJ stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, as much as I can, you know. What do you like to eat? You are shaped a specific way. I mean, I love a good burger, you know. It's always nice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, as much as I can, you know. What do you like to eat? You are shaped a specific way. I mean, I love a good burger, you know. It's always nice.
Yeah. They used to call me a bear in college because I'm so damn hairy, you know.
Yeah. They used to call me a bear in college because I'm so damn hairy, you know.
All right. Not in a good gay way, just, you know, insulting.
All right. Not in a good gay way, just, you know, insulting.
What do you do for fun, Zach? For fun? I'm big into video games. Yeah, I'm addicted to them. I love it.
What do you do for fun, Zach? For fun? I'm big into video games. Yeah, I'm addicted to them. I love it.
I'm playing a new one, Claire Obscure, that came out this week. It's amazing.
I'm playing a new one, Claire Obscure, that came out this week. It's amazing.
It's an RPG. It's turn-based. It's a big-budget story. It's really nice. I like it a lot.
It's an RPG. It's turn-based. It's a big-budget story. It's really nice. I like it a lot.
What's your love life like? My love life? Me and my girl bought a house about four months ago. Okay. Nice. Headed towards marriage eventually. We'll see. I love it. How can you afford a house? Who the hell knows? I worked hard before that, but now I'm trying to get into comedy, so, you know. What did you do before that? I used to repair restaurants. Okay.
What's your love life like? My love life? Me and my girl bought a house about four months ago. Okay. Nice. Headed towards marriage eventually. We'll see. I love it. How can you afford a house? Who the hell knows? I worked hard before that, but now I'm trying to get into comedy, so, you know. What did you do before that? I used to repair restaurants. Okay.
It's a three bedroom. Yeah, three bedroom.
It's a three bedroom. Yeah, three bedroom.
Absolutely amazing. Where are you doing with all those bedrooms? I mean, got my computer in one, got the dogs in the other, and then we stay in the last one, you know? Computer in one, dogs in the other.
Absolutely amazing. Where are you doing with all those bedrooms? I mean, got my computer in one, got the dogs in the other, and then we stay in the last one, you know? Computer in one, dogs in the other.
Mostly shit on the floor, yeah.
Mostly shit on the floor, yeah.
Oh, it's pretty bad. It's like $2,000 before bills and everything on top of that.
Oh, it's pretty bad. It's like $2,000 before bills and everything on top of that.
Not enough. I'll tell you that much. It's getting scary quick. Give us a ballpark. Maybe like $10,000 in the bank.
Not enough. I'll tell you that much. It's getting scary quick. Give us a ballpark. Maybe like $10,000 in the bank.
Honestly, I'm not sure. I've never asked her that direct question. She's definitely the breadwinner right now. Well, you look like the bread eater. Yeah, I am. My goodness. And what does she do again? She works for a nursing certification board, so she certifies nurses. So that's like a real job.
Honestly, I'm not sure. I've never asked her that direct question. She's definitely the breadwinner right now. Well, you look like the bread eater. Yeah, I am. My goodness. And what does she do again? She works for a nursing certification board, so she certifies nurses. So that's like a real job.
When work can afford, obviously, our schedules don't really align.
When work can afford, obviously, our schedules don't really align.
They're probably not, honestly.
They're probably not, honestly.
I don't know. Maybe like three times a week, maybe. Three times a week?
I don't know. Maybe like three times a week, maybe. Three times a week?
She likes to insult me a lot and beat me down.
She likes to insult me a lot and beat me down.
The other day my smartwatch notified me that I was having a fantastic workout. I was taking a shit. I don't think I could ever have a normal job, because every time I tighten that tie, my dick gets hard. I've been getting into BDSM lately, or at least that's what my girl tells the cops. Sometimes I fantasize about orgies, so they don't let me near schools anymore.
I think I'm pretty good at flirting, but it's hard to tell between all their muffled screams, you know? I don't like to waste leftovers, so I always eat the fetus afterwards. Why do people fantasize about having a zombie apocalypse? You could eat people right now. You don't have to wait, man. All right, I think that's probably about my time.
You know, it's a short amount of time, so I was really trying to squeeze what I could in there. Yeah, it's not much, I give it.
All around town, Roscoe's, Kick Butt. So Austin is the answer.
Right now I'm a karaoke DJ on the weekends. Ooh, a karaoke DJ.
Oh, it's awful, man. They're always trying to skip the line, bullshit around, yeah.
Every week, yeah. They try to bribe their way on stage. The worst excuse I've had was, I'm dying of cancer. Wow. Did you let them cut the line? No, of course not.
Karaoke DJ. Nothing else about it? I mean, I'm doing DoorDash on the weekends, or I'm doing DoorDash in between doing DJ stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, as much as I can, you know. What do you like to eat? You are shaped a specific way. I mean, I love a good burger, you know. It's always nice.
Yeah. They used to call me a bear in college because I'm so damn hairy, you know.
All right. Not in a good gay way, just, you know, insulting.
What do you do for fun, Zach? For fun? I'm big into video games. Yeah, I'm addicted to them. I love it.
I'm playing a new one, Claire Obscure, that came out this week. It's amazing.
It's an RPG. It's turn-based. It's a big-budget story. It's really nice. I like it a lot.
What's your love life like? My love life? Me and my girl bought a house about four months ago. Okay. Nice. Headed towards marriage eventually. We'll see. I love it. How can you afford a house? Who the hell knows? I worked hard before that, but now I'm trying to get into comedy, so, you know. What did you do before that? I used to repair restaurants. Okay.
It's a three bedroom. Yeah, three bedroom.
Absolutely amazing. Where are you doing with all those bedrooms? I mean, got my computer in one, got the dogs in the other, and then we stay in the last one, you know? Computer in one, dogs in the other.
Mostly shit on the floor, yeah.
Oh, it's pretty bad. It's like $2,000 before bills and everything on top of that.
Not enough. I'll tell you that much. It's getting scary quick. Give us a ballpark. Maybe like $10,000 in the bank.
Honestly, I'm not sure. I've never asked her that direct question. She's definitely the breadwinner right now. Well, you look like the bread eater. Yeah, I am. My goodness. And what does she do again? She works for a nursing certification board, so she certifies nurses. So that's like a real job.
When work can afford, obviously, our schedules don't really align.
They're probably not, honestly.
I don't know. Maybe like three times a week, maybe. Three times a week?
She likes to insult me a lot and beat me down.