Zaslow

Whoa! I wanted to ask... Thank you. I was asking him about I wanted to ask him about running point, as he mentioned, because it's Jeannie Buss. It's Kate Hudson. The Lakers story continues to be mined for gold everywhere. And I was curious about how some of this got made. Jeannie Buss is forthcoming with all parts of her story here.

How much of this is fictionalized and how much to you feels like it's just Jeannie Buss turned up to 10?

Can you help me understand Jeannie Buss? I don't know what her relationship is or was with Jay Moore or with comedy, but I believe she's got a special relationship with specifically comedy. Does she not?

I hope. That seems dramatic. It's the first season of Running Point. It is streaming now on Netflix, which is in more disarray, weirdness, and general uncertainty right now. Hollywood, the sports media, or your Chicago Bulls? Oof.

You'd give all of them. Fair enough. But then we're just the Bucs. That wouldn't be a bad thing to be if you were properly made. You're the Bulls, right? Hold on. Congratulations, you're the Bulls.

92.

Is there any way, I don't know how much you value, how much do you value that Wheaties box? Like what would we have to do in order to get you to try and eat a piece of 30-year-old cereal?

It seems like we are now in a negotiation that will make you eat from that box right now. At the end of today's show, you will get a producer credit.

We almost had him. No, we did have him. No, that should be orally binding, and now he's backing out. What do you mean we almost had him? We did have him, and then he realized, wait, they let all the producers talk around here. It doesn't mean anything. Yeah, that's what he realized. Can we talk for a moment before you go about your PTI Sports Radio Jim Rome days?

He's a radio professional and you could have heard all of these thoughts on the starting point with Brian Scalabrini and Frank Isola yesterday because he can do things on repeat. He's a good radio person. He's a rising star at ESPN radios.

The Jim Rome experience different than that, right? It's a little it's not quite as I wouldn't imagine the community is locked in arms laughing and singing toward the sky there.

I put you in a bad spot there. No, I'm just kidding. The only reason I'm laughing is because knowing the two environments and knowing how much I love the environment backstage at Pardon the Interruption, I can see how a communal show would be much different than writing for one person who's doing one show as one voice. Those are very different projects.

And so I put you in a bad spot, but I did it on purpose.

Do you miss anything about the sports beginnings?

Wow, what a great position. Did you hear that position as a sports fan? To win so much that I no longer care about sports because I've had my fill. I've moved on to other things.

David, thank you. We appreciate the time. I do recommend Running Point, the new comedy series on Netflix. These folks do nothing but good work. So I would recommend it to you strongly. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Really fun.

Yes. Thank you for being on with us. Quite the endorsement on that at the end.

Yeah, he got a thumbs up.

All right, well, hold on a second. So let's just make the allegation clear. I am saying that when Zaslow talked... with David Sampson, whose company he has enjoyed, it is without David Sampson having the knowledge that Zaslow has called him a swindler in the past. And Zaslow is claiming he's never done that. I don't think it's true.

The conversation he walked in on of Amin and his child clogging a toilet that began with not to go too deep into the woods on toilet humor here, that then became an alligator.

Okay, so he's saying it's not in any way true, but when introducing... Your son, to our audience, and your son's feelings about David Sampson because of what he's done to the Marlins, you put a framing on it that was positive as if you've never said anything bad about David Sampson. But what you actually told your son, I think, is that he's a swindler who built the Marlins in Miami for millions.

I still would put that on the poll at Levitard Show. Is there a difference in the smell?

I'm not saying waste. I'm saying the farts of children. versus the farts of adults, is there a scent difference that would make you in a Disney World line be able to accuse a six-year-old instead of his lumberjack of a 340-pound father with the turkey leg in his hand?

I didn't do it. Come on. You think I haven't done that? You think that's what heaven gives is gifts.

Billy, I would like tomorrow on the show or next Wild Willie Wednesday to put adult poop, baby poop, and dog poop in front of you and you pick which is which.

Blindfolded, yes. Okay, no. Blindfolded.

That's too bad. Wild Willie Wednesday needs to be wilder. I can provide the human poop, the adult poop.

It happens in South Florida with snakes, iguanas. These are things that are frogs.

I think you're missing the point. It's all pipes.

Yeah, but they're not pipes big enough for alligators. You'd be surprised.

I mean, I wanted to ask you about where it is that we are placing Jamal Murray on the pantheon of performers when I've been telling you here that And it's a tricky thing to trust James Harden, and it's a trickier thing to trust the Clippers. I've been telling you that I believe that team for two seasons now is championship good if healthy. They run into the best player in the league.

When James Harden was asked recently who should win the MVP, he said we'd all like Shea Gilgis-Alexander to win, but of course... Jokic is the best player. He's obviously the best player. Last night, Jokic again controls a basketball game in a way that is super strange and allows us and allows Jamal Murray to enjoy the heightened excellence of what it gets

to be when you're the number two guy who doesn't ever have the number one guy responsibilities and you can occasionally put up the 36 because he's going for a triple double 13 points and you don't and that's the day they decide he's just going to pass the ball and allow Jamal Murray to be a player that generally he's not. I mean, he is not.

I don't believe that Jamal Murray without Jokic would be putting up a great many 40-point games. I believe he's afforded what he's – and not that – how many 40-point games has Jamal Murray put up in his career? Is it five, you'd say? What would you guess? Just all total. I would say that if he's done – he may have done it more than five times, but I don't think of him as a player in game five.

Even as someone who saw him in the bubble and says that first-round playoff series of Jamal and Jokic playing together is the best basketball I've ever seen. him playing against Donovan Mitchell and Utah, because it was that unstoppable. Those two guys was that unstoppable.

Okay, but for his career, I bet you it's not a ton more than that. I'm going to guess.

I'm going to guess that this guy is putting up something that would resemble Jimmy Butler if Jimmy Butler didn't exist in terms of what he does in the postseason versus what he's doing in the regular season and what that buys you in reputation when the next two games, nobody trusts James Harden in the next two games. Like, there's nobody listening to this. Nobody who will say that...

I trust that James Harden in these next two games isn't going to put up what he just put up there when they needed him to do something.

Your son's appraisal of David Sampson is that he's a swindler and a liar based on what his father has told him.

You believe, though, that there is a lot of comps for a guy who will score 40 points in six playoff games, is a champion, and is not an all-star?

But I'm saying that if I just give you Jamal Murray statistics and I just show you things being done in important moments on the way to important victories, that's a player that's remembered for all time if you put up six 40-point games in the playoffs.

I think that off of the games yesterday, you're going to have some difficulty finding something that's harder to talk about than the placement of Jamal Murray, given that from StatMuse, he now has more 40-point playoff games than Larry Bird, Charles Barkley, Kawhi, Ant, Mitchell, Jokic. Dan. Carmelo, Dame, McGrady, Magic, Trey, Oscar Robertson, Paul Pierce, Karl Malone, Jason Tatum.

I can't believe that my father saw Mickey Arison leaving the arena in a wig, sunglasses, and a mustache. Like a ball of wax.

Those were the cliff notes.

$2 billion FU.

Cuervo.

He swindled the city.

The Boost Mobile phone line is a subject of great ridicule by me. It has slightly improved. It is still not yet good.

Cuervo.

It's too bad Jeremy's not here. I don't know why he's not here. I was just going to go to the Shakira story that he so badly wants to tell anybody, but he's not here, so we're not going to be able to do that. That's unfortunate. Zaslow has created some tensions around here. And what are you shrugging your shoulders about?

That's a good badge. I'm telling you.

Pasta put it on the pole at Levitard show. Can you get away with never using a fork your entire life?

I think there's a difference that you can smell the difference. Do I have this wrong between adult farts and child farts? Do I have this wrong?

And then I looked at you like, oh, no, no. David Stassin joins us now. I can't imagine how he's been absorbing this. OK, this is one of Hollywood's great showrunners. You've got you've got two movies. On his resume that Zaslow loves, two of them, Central Intelligence and Blockers. The Mindy Project is wildly popular and he's now got a series on Netflix. What are you laughing about, Billy?

No. Yeah, he did seem surprised that Zaslow was such a big fan of both of those movies. Why were you surprised? And what did you make of the conversation that you walked in on where one of Amin's children had clogged a toilet so badly that Amin, his father, thought it was an alligator in the toilet?

Zaslow, you want to tell the man? I am more interested in the gutter parts of your story that involve working on the Jim Rome show and Pardon the Interruption. Oh, yeah. But Zaslow has questions about your actual success.

Well, you have some stuff with him. I don't have anything with him.

Okay. That's been alleged. And I would say that Greg Cody has some problems with him. And I would also say that now the audience... Journalistic beef. The audience also has some problems with Zaslow because... Earlier in the show, David Sampson was on with us and Zaslow said one thing to his face. And I alleged that he had said something about Sampson being a swindler.

Do you want to talk to him about central intelligence? I imagine the Mindy Project is the thing that you've done that's gotten the most critical acclaim?

You're being nice and you're being this is a very kind story the way that he's telling it. There's no way under that circumstance that The Rock wanted to talk to you or wanted you anywhere near him. And so he was nice under the circumstances. But he would have wanted to tell you to bleep off. Exactly.

Oh, no, you're good. Oh, yeah. Scandalous. One of the writers for Blockers has said a word that we don't like around here. So sorry.

Cuervo. Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

Chris, can you get the timing right on Wild Willie Wednesdays? It's never been more appropriate. The Wild Willie question. Please put it in every Wednesday.

And Zaslow said we would not be able to find the sound. And then I was a lonely Kentucky fraud chicken because nobody believed me. And I've been told we have found a sound. And so now I just want to get the nature of the dispute out in front of people because Zaslow has said he never said what we accused him of saying. So, Chris Cody, what is the sound that has been found by our researchers?

I didn't know, but I'm glad we were able to confirm it. Confirm it?

Yeah.

It's a short one for me. I tried to speed it up for you guys. You forgot about the League's Cup. Stugatz.

Well, when Fidel died the first time.

You can see the silencer. I stand corrected. In Stephen A's defense, the nurse pulled a gun on him first. What you say? So Zazlo's second shirt.

No? I've been your loyalist subject.

Falsehoods?

No, I said if you're caught in the middle of a lover's quarrel and the lover's quarrel is your family and the heat, then what do you do? Because the heat will be responsible possibly for your parents' divorce.

The father?

The father, the father. I don't know. I didn't think it was embarrassing for him.

Zaz, you know Tyrese Halliburton, who his cousin is? No. Eddie Jones. How about that? Oh, okay. Got an Eddie Jones shirt there somewhere hidden?

The way you're selling it is that these are super old and ratty, and they show how much of a lifelong fan Zazz is, and we're going all the way back to 2016, the oldest shirt so far.

That's history right there, yeah.

Is a Chris Bosh years post-retirement Chris Bosh shirt.

I'm wearing a shirt from Pitt that someone sent me that I'm pretty sure is older than 2019.

I have no expectations for number one, I'm going to be honest with you, so far. That's my move right there.

If it doesn't say Cycli on it, get out of here.

Like Zazzle, they've got to retire that white hot every playoff. We're embarrassing ourselves at this point in time. Every time it's white hot, you knew you were going to get destroyed in this playoff. I think you play it by ear. You say, this is going to be a run, we do white hot. This one, we knew. You can't do white hot today.

You're my turf, friend.

No, that was this morning. That's why I was a little tardy for the party. As I left the house, I stopped at the gas station, and I didn't have my wallet. So I had to head back home to go get that wallet and then go back. It was Westchester. Come on. What do you think that these are, like, fancy gas pumps? No, I've seen them with the Apple Pay stuff from Westchester. Apple Pay, not for me.

It is weird considering what your profession was. You're a journalist. You had sources. But if we tell you anything, you tell everyone everything.

But we're not coming to you for content mining. We're coming to you with personal, private conversations that then you turn into content.

Apple Pay is fine when it has my thing saved and I can order my McDonald's, I hit Apple Pay, whatever. When I have to go start and tap my, first of all, last thing I'm gonna tap with my phone is a dirty gas pump, okay? I'm not gonna go touch a dirty gas pump with my phone that then is gonna go and lay on my face. That's not gonna happen. And this whole tapping situation, I love technology.

I love the advances of technology. Zazz, I feel like you might be with me on some of this stuff. At a certain point, we've advanced far enough. We're going too far on some of these things. When I just am close enough to something and it takes money out of my account and I didn't have to do anything other than my device was close enough to the device that steals the digital money for me.

No, you're on. Come on. You have an 80-year-old shirt in your hand. You have two old shirts on your lap. Are you not with me on this? I'm doing my job. You're not with me on this? You like the idea of someone just going up to you and tapping your phone and then you lose money? Yeah, I'm good with it, man.

I'm using money. No, you're losing it. Here's the thing. Unless you're there watching all the time, I'm telling you someone's going up there. Have you seen these scams?

Okay, welcome to the party, friends. Go on.

What do you mean?

No, there's always a scam going. That's the thing. There's always a scam going.

Haven't you seen the parking things? They had to take the QR codes off of the parking signs here because people were putting their own fake QR codes on the parking signs where you would go, you'd go on the QR code, and they had a fake website, and you'd just give them $5, $8, whatever it is, and they'd have your credit card information. You didn't actually pay for parking.

You paid a stranger.

What do you mean?

What do you mean? How so?

I'm not. What do you mean? That's what I mean. What am I too worried about? What should I be worried about?

You're too involved. Nah, dog. I'm telling you. This is what happens. People come after me. They come after me. And, like, I need to know. I can't trust no one. There's one person I can trust. It's me. So if someone's saying, especially a stranger, trust me on this, no thank you. I've been burned too many times. I know not to trust anyone around here. You can only trust me.

And even me, I'm a slippery one.

No, because he says dog, so I was trying to get him on my side. I like the tension you two have over the last couple of days. We don't have tension. I feel like we're close. Are we not close?

Yeah, we're getting to know each other.

I mean, I started interviewing 20 years ago when you were there, but we're just getting to know each other. That's fine. I'm not going to rush this relationship. It's at your pace, I suppose.

I parked in someone's carport the other day at a Marlins game. Because I was going to park, and I looked at the curb. They're like, you're going to have to go up this little ramp, and the ramp was four little blocks of wood that they put in front of the curb. And I was like, you want me to back in here? Because my car's a little low to the ground.

I don't want to lose my bumper parking in your front yard. I'm paying you $10 instead of $30 at the garage, but I don't want to lose my bumper here.

It is parky, no blocky. Well, sometimes there is blocky and you've got to leave your keys. And those are the houses I say, I'm good, thanks. I'm going to go find another house. Well, I've never experienced that. Sometimes they ask you, like, you can leave your keys and then we'll move the car. And I'm like, I'm okay.

I know where they are pretending to live. I don't know that they actually live there. I haven't seen them go in and out of the house. And I don't know that my car will be there when I get back. I've been in situations where I go and I park and I come back and the house is a different color. And I just assume someone left their keys there and that car is gone. It's happened.

Dan, when we were at the Super Bowl just this past year, we went in and it was clear glass windows. We came out the next day. When we went out clear glass windows, when we came back, that whole thing was wrapped and it looked like a giant beer can. Didn't even look like the hotel anymore. That's how quickly they can change appearances now. That's why you can't trust people and things.

Not even buildings. You're too involved. No. You're too loosey-goosey, if I'm going to be honest with you. Oh, Joe cools ass over here just walking around trusting the world. Must be nice. Must be nice to walk around here and just trust everyone and everything. How does this change colors?

A Hall of Famer.

I don't know how they did it. You could smell the paint. I didn't say I smelled the paint.

I don't believe your story. I didn't say that I smelled the paint. I didn't say it was painted.

I said I left, I came back, different color. That's not true. And I didn't leave my keys at the house that day. I said, you know what? If it gets blocked... I'll deal with it when I get back. I'm not leaving my keys here. And I'm glad I didn't. Because guess what? When I left, I could go right out. A car was there that was moved.

I don't know how or why they were trying to do what or how they were doing. I'm just saying I didn't get got. And it's because I was vigilant.

What do you mean? Nobody painted their house to steal your car. I didn't say they painted the house. I said it was one color when I was there, a different color when I got back. I don't know what happened. Games are long. Three hours. They were shorter last year. This year they seem to be getting long again, if I'm going to be honest with you.

Baseball was fixed, and I don't know what they did, but someone was tinkering with something where the length of these games is getting long again.

Do you think he lost it between when he got here and now?

Not surprised at all. I told you guys just yesterday, no one wanted to listen to me, and everyone started scoffing at me when I told you. Dodgers aren't fun to watch. They score 15 runs every day. What happened last night? 15-2, they beat the Marlins. Guess who didn't stay up until 1 in the morning to watch that? Me. I knew exactly what was going to happen, and I told you.

And then Jeremy and all these mouthpieces out here telling you, no, it's not going to happen, it's not the situation here. I'm happily married. The Dodgers, they're not that exciting. They're not going to score that many runs. Sure enough, same night, 15 runs. Quique Hernandez is on in the last inning, pitching with a pitcher's helmet. What is this? Youth League softball? Pitcher's helmet?

Games are lasting one minute longer this year than last year. Told you. See? I was right. Thank you.

No. Only one of us had to sit down. It wouldn't have been both of us.

You have to understand what was happening because time was standing still because Dan had a lot of pockets. He also was going through his wallet. He still has this old fashioned wallet with a bunch of different slots in it.

And everyone is panicked except my girlfriend who's out looking for the ticket. I'm making sure that we can get Dan in because you have to understand the background of this whole Pearl Jam concert. This was a major thing for Valerie's birthday.

And it was crumbling in front of our very eyes because Dan lost the ticket and the show was about to start because we had inside information that at 849 is when lights are out and when it starts. And Zaslow... wants to be there. Valerie wants to be there. And Dan is standing there.

Samson, you've been firing Riley the last couple of days. Well, I simply it's not about firing Pat. It's about him understanding that it's time. And it's a tough thing when you've got someone like Pat Riley, because he's never going to get fired by Mickey Harris. And we know that is true. But at some point, you have to do a self-evaluation and say that what we're doing simply is not working.

And the way we've constructed this roster is not working. And adding a third star to Bam and Hero, that is not going to be enough. And you therefore have to admit it. And I think it's time. And frankly, Spolstra looked terrible. He we talk about the fact that he acknowledged how embarrassed he was. He just for whatever issues he's having on or off the court, he looks beaten.

And many managers, this happens to them and coaches. It happens to them. It's a really hard job. The Popovich's are really few and far between. It is time, I believe, for a fresh start in Miami and a fresh set of eyes and ears and voices. And that's not an indictment, Chris Cody, at all. It's been the greatest run you've had, dare I say, in South Florida sports history. It is an indictment.

because all runs come to an end and that's just a fact and for people not to recognize that or realize that it's like holding on to a sixth grade t-shirt in the top shelf of your closet and singing glory days david considering how many times riley over the 30 years here has been able to remake this team and have success why would you believe that he can't do it here

because I believe that his time has passed and that's not an ageist thought. It's actually, I don't want to spoil this. I actually, I'm not going to be irresponsible and be a journalist in this way. I will only say this, that what owner's job is at the end of the day, it's not to make fans happy. It's not to have great ballparks with great concessions.

What an owner's job is to win while the value of their asset increases. That's it. And what Mickey Arison has done is both. But when one stops, which is the winning, the Heat were a 10 seed, a below 500 team. They are overmatched. Forget what you think happened in the Cavaliers series and how pissed off Poppy is.

They have no path to competitiveness with this current administration and this current team. And as an owner, you've got to recognize that. That's, no. Giannis himself will not make a difference for this Heat team. What? Who are you going to get? Wait, wait a minute. Are you getting Giannis as a free agent? Just getting Giannis.

But what do you have to get rid of to get him? Milwaukee? Mediocre?

I'm going to tell you, Zazz, it's the ability to actually rebuild, which the Heat have never been willing to do. They've never been willing to understand that you may have to take three steps back and not be in the middle. Pat Riley would tell you himself, Being a 10 seed or a 7 seed, it's the worst place to be in any sport.

I'm trying to think of the NBA coaches who have won championships who don't have jobs now. What's that stat, Jeremy? I believe that every NBA coach of a champion in the last four years, I think one still has the job. I think I may have. I may have. Maybe I think it's five.

I don't think that anyone would say if the Heat move on from one or two of Bam, Tyler, Pat, or Eric, that they're being panicky. I just don't think that would be the narrative surrounding those moves.

Oh, I'm not, I wouldn't say it's against his will. And that's why I wouldn't say that it would be a firing down. What I said is it's an acknowledgement by the heat, which are defined as Mickey and Pat and Nick. that it is time to go a different direction with a different voice. And I think that that is what they do.

And by the way, Bam Adebayo, if you look at his salary, Jeremy, I believe he has three years left and it goes like 50, 51, 59 in the last three years of his deal. I hear that you're saying he's all NBA and I understand there are a lot of overpaid players, but do you have him as that type of player?

Where are you as the Heat, though, if you replace Giannis with Bam? You replace Bam with Giannis. You're incremental between Bam and Giannis.

I'm not sure I recollect it that way, but I do know that I enjoyed watching you at the Pearl Jam concert. The only issue I had is as and we talked about whether we should stand at concerts when we did show together last week. But what I didn't realize is that I was not going to hear Eddie Vedder the entire night. All I heard was your voice.

Let me just try to get through this. And there is a real problem with what's happening in the tariffs, not just in the economy. What's happening is that companies are trying to figure out, they're going to pass on the increased expenses to the customer. We are all gonna suffer because of the tariffs. The question is, how do you quantify it? Amazon said, we have an idea.

We're gonna put the amount of money that these tariffs are increasing the cost of your product, and we're gonna put it right there on the page. The White House got word of this and they lost their minds. There was a quick phone call and a quick meeting which said, Hey, Jeff, here's an idea.

You may want to cancel this plan because we're going to crush you because we've lost three legs of the tripod. And as the executive branch, we're now in a position where we can make your life miserable. You want tax on the rich? We're going to do it. Then Amazon, 20 minutes later, second statement, hey, that was a division of Amazon. No idea what anyone was talking about.

We're not going to identify what the tariffs are doing and the impact they're having on the prices of the products.

it was a faster retreat than you saw in the 1700s and what does it mean it means that we are now in a place where there is fear that is ruling individuals corporations and those who run the corporations and it will cost us make no mistake the companies that you do business with will not take on the cost of these tariffs by themselves it's maddening they will

It's guaranteed to happen. And you're watching it happen right now. I have an Amazon package waiting for me and I'm just seeing how expensive the toilet paper is.

I had metal art people, Dan, at the apartment where I'm doing show right now, and they were doing the lights. And they said, listen, is there anything you can do about the brown boxes of tissues, toilet paper, Clorox wipes, and paper towels that were in the way of the lights flashing properly off the walls? And I said, hey, it's a New York apartment. There's nothing I can do about it.

every word every song in my ear and i didn't know what to do i thought of an elbow i thought of ear plugs i thought of switching seats but i didn't have a seat it was a whole magilla but your voice is mediocre why didn't you have a seat because levitard is is outrageous do you understand what happened What happened is we had tickets and they were hard tickets, actual tickets, not on the phone.

And they said, and these are great IT people, they said, why do you have so much stuff? Like, are you worried about the apocalypse? And I said, no, I've always been a bulk guy. I can't deal with the people. There's two types of people, those who run out of toilet paper and those who don't. And I am one who never runs out of toilet paper.

Multiple, multiple big brown boxes of toilet paper.

That's apocalypse hoarding. I am a hoarder of products having nothing to do with the pandemic. This was way before. I never panicked during the pandemic because I always have supplies ready to roll. When do you redo? How low on your 200 before you reorder? It's a rotate. And when there's a hole in where I store stuff, I refill from the back.

Tickets were distributed to each of the people in our party about an hour and a half prior to the concert. When it came time to enter the venue and show the ticket, Dan Levitard says, Sorry, I can't find my ticket. He lost his ticket, which would have kept him out of the concert. He was there for his wife for her birthday. So my girlfriend has to go looking in a casino for his ticket.

Doesn't find it. And I'm forced to get him in because I knew security people at the concert.

So Dan gets into the concert. There are eight of us for only seven tickets. So we squeeze in and all of a sudden there's this guy standing where our seat is. And I, no one else said a word. Dan is just sort of standing there with his eyes half open. And I said, excuse me, this is not your seat. And what does this man do? Oh, he showed the ticket.

he showed the ticket that was dan's ticket because who else has a physical ticket like obviously it's dan's ticket he found it on the floor of a slot machine or a craps table and he said oh i guess i've got a ticket to the concert and he shows up legitimate ticket goes to his seat and i look like a jackass because i said to the guy who actually was quite built and quite strong and i was it was sort of a janice halliburton situation

I said, this is not your seat. And he shows me the ticket. And I had to do tail between the legs and turn around and do a 180. Oh, you got to call him out.

I did.

Give it to Valerie. I'm not going to enable that sort of behavior. You've got to be able to hold on to a ticket And this is, of course, after I'd run into Dan only 45 minutes before that with $5 chips falling out of his hand because he had like, he was the guy, oh, color change? Oh no, I'm okay here.

So like- Walked away with like $100, well, probably more than $100 worth, but just arms full of $5 chips.

I refuse to take any blame in this. What I know is, is that I had to share one seat with Cara and it was fine because we're both relatively small. But you have to picture sharing one seat next to Zaslow, who, by the way, very impressive, knows every word to every song.

But I will point out that what did happen during the course of the concert when I was had Zaslo my left ear, I was glaring far more not toward Eddie Vedder. I was glaring at this guy the entire time. Like I was dressing him down.

Oh, it was some good side eye.

There was no better seat, I would point out, which we which we did for Zaslow and for Dan, you and your wife. But he left what I perceive to be in shame because of all the side eyes. But he did get the first hour of a Pearl Jam concert and really good seats. And I'd like to go through what was in his mind upon finding this ticket when all over Hard Rock. where people say, you got one?

Anybody got one? You got two? I got, people were trying to buy tickets and there was not one ticket available. And there comes row and like right. Perfect. Right. It's like mana from heaven. And he says, what do I do with this?

And the guy goes to the concert, doesn't sell it, doesn't return the ticket, which, of course, is what in a dream world you would do is say, oh, I think somebody dropped this. That didn't quite happen. He just went into the venue.

He knows what he did. I love where your head's at because he left. I thought of that during the show.

If he had stayed the whole time and like wanted a selfie with Dan because he happened to buy a ticket that he found himself right next to the biggest celebrity, second biggest behind Chelios, but one of the biggest celebrities in the crowd, I assume he would have wanted an autograph, maybe a photo.

Give me a player comp on this guy. Who did this guy look like? He looked like Tony from Survivor 28, the winner of the season.

And it wasn't. wasn't just one phone light what we did is we sort of surrounded him and each of us had our phone lights on it and then we were looking at the other tickets making sure that it was numerically in order it was so obvious that he had done something that he should not have done because he didn't own up to it I would have respected if he had just said dude I found this on the ground

I didn't know it was yours, but now it's mine. He stayed silent other than to say it's my ticket.

No, no, not true. Because we already discussed it that Kara would not have gone to the concert. It was your moment with your wife for her birthday and that she would have given up her ticket. I was thinking Zazz's kid doesn't go.

Oh, yeah. No, we had the conversation. So much happened, Dan, while you were here. You have to understand what Dan was doing. There were seven people staring at him saying, where's your ticket? That's right. His wife was getting anxious.

Okay, but his point is that Giannis, in the last three seasons of playoff games, has won, ah—

playoff game and his numbers statistically are all start with a 30 on the points like on average that doesn't make any sense and and last night he's out there at the end and they gagged it away like they gagged away the season the same way they gagged away the season against jimmy butler that led to just perpetual descent from this team from the championship helm i mean doc rivers after game was impressed with that meltdown my god

Wow, that would be shocking.

broke apart my family you ended my parents marriage after 50 years i will no longer report your ice cream stories for you like what how do you handle this situation thank you uh wild willie uh for asking me that question and in that particular case i would have to side with my mother and her lover because she run off to be happier with someone who wasn't complaining about the heat all the time for 15 years well is she is she running an affair

No, I'm not alleging my mother is having an affair. I'm saying, look, this is what I'm saying. My mother has said this, okay? There's my father who was on television, and that person is Poppy, and she said she would love to have an affair with that man. That was never the man who came home.

The man who came home was always firing Spolstra, complaining about Shaq for missing free throws, saying LeBron wasn't good enough. Behind the scenes, my father was just complaining about the Heat for 15 years.

He's got you there, Zaslow. Day two, here we go again. Zaslow, he's cornered you. He's got me there. The last couple of days, Billy has really cornered you on stuff. What are you talking about, Zaslow?

I need to calm you down. That's right.

I want to talk about things you can do in 11 seconds in honor of that hockey game where the Panthers got quickest defenseman playoff goals in the history of the sport to really, you know, just change everything about that series.

In 11 seconds. You mentioned that yesterday. But before I do that, can you just show me the first of the items that you have brought in from among your three old items from the closet? I'll go in.

like bronze the bronze medalist the weakest of the and this but your wife is happy to have this of the house she'd be happy if you left it in a dumpster here yeah a dumpster here if she'd be fine with it you guys are all tony you don't have this problem because you care about your style right jeremy you don't have this problem i mean have you had this problem where you you have you have too much junk in your well no because it's an accusation like what are you saying that

Forgive me. I do. I recognize this in a mirror, right? I'm not even judging you. I, too, would have shit in my closet if my wife hadn't corrected this for me. Heat Family Festival 2016. It's a 90s throwback. It's presented by Carnival. I'll take that. Not bad. Mickey Harrison, Carnival. Nine years. That's nothing. Yeah, that's nine years. That's the first of the items. That's good.

I want to call my dad. I worry about calling an old man this early in the morning.

And you would throw it in the garbage can now or you never would because you value it.

It is comfortable.

I just didn't know. If his wife had the choice, if your wife said yes or no, throw that away.

She would set fire to it.

No, you know my father. Come on. My mom has been complaining nonstop that all he does is sleep in retirement. We're sure to be waking him up. Go ahead and call him.

You need to understand the gauntlet that has just been thrown down here publicly to his wife, who does not like gauntlets thrown at her feet. Thank you, Billy, on a Wild Willie Wednesday for providing that. If you're willing to ask the question, I think you will get a straight answer. Who do you love more, Zaslow, Glenn Rice or your wife?

This is not what I expected. I'm very much looking forward to the reveal of these next two t-shirts. I do believe, I don't remember the specifics of the story, but I have a general recall of having the feeling that it would be bad judgment at Zaslow's wife's wedding day to bring someone who stands out over the wife physically. In the room and in her husband's eyes.

In her husband's eyes, I think was the greatest problem. And so I have a general recall of thinking to myself, I feel like that was close to happening and then it was pulled back.

I think that's what happened. I think somebody, I would have made the mistake. I would not have known to not make the mistake.

And now they're worse than they've ever been. Not ever.

No one has ever looked like they looked. Wait a minute.

What do you mean, what is he doing? I'm asking for clarification. Yes, yes, right. Yes, okay, excellent. Just ask. My wife and I have never been better. Okay, good. I wasn't asking. Nobody was.

Nobody was. Jeremy's only had one marriage.

You've got a couple of stances here, though, that are winners, because it's not just that you're pro-divorce. You're also pro-solitary confinement, pro-restrict me to my house.

Just in a bathroom by yourself for a while where you've got a moment of peace? Yeah.

I believe you've been. In some forms, I can accuse you of being pro-isolation, pro-pandemic, pro-solitary confinement.

Pro-imprisoned in your own home.

But you're asking them of all the married people. That's not true.

Tony just had a kid. We're just in the local hour. It's early. Give you hours. Wild Willie Wednesday just started. You've come after everybody.

You brought that into my life. You started with my parents. That's where you started. You started by divorcing my parents. It's not a falsehood.

You ask him to put in the trash can No, that's not what I said. No, I said his wife would put them in the trash Can

Thank you. Tomato, potato. Okay, you are a bit unruly for the first hour. I'll go. No, I don't want you to go. I don't know the rules today. Well, Wild Willy Wednesday doesn't get kicked out.

If we're committing to Wild Willy Wednesday, we all have to take the consequences of that wherever it is that we end up. That's going to get flagged a thousand percent. We've done it 800 times.

We didn't really finish the sounds tournament, but that was an iconic top 50 all-time sound of all sounds produced anywhere.

disagree with that i know that clay thompson wants to be top 75 and scotty pippen doesn't like anyone who puts him outside the top 50 but if i put that sound in the top 50 of sounds of all time does anyone argue with me top 50 no it's definitely top 50 yeah that's definitely top 50

Is it the good, bad, and the ugly? It's a Western of some sort, right?

I want to get into a couple of things, Amin, with you about what happened last night. Halliburton's dad, this plague of dads in the NBA who are living vicariously through their kids. The Pacers are really fun. Be curious whether you think Halliburton or Siakam is their best player. I like both of them a great deal.

I think Siakam is underrated, and I think it's insulting to say to Halliburton that he's the most overrated player in the league. But that's a fun team that knocked Giannis out, and now Milwaukee is in disarray. And it ends with Giannis confronting a dad who has crossed the line.

No, he had a press conference. He said he was embarrassed.

I'm not arguing security did its job well. I'm arguing you cannot have an adult human being who is the father of an NBA player being such a child that he feels comfortable standing in front of a 6'10 giant feeling like he can talk to him disrespectfully when he's steaming because he's a champion and his franchise has just fallen apart and the game ended that way.

Yeah, that was embarrassing, Papi. It's humiliating.

If Giannis had head-butted that man, Giannis would have been in trouble and I would have been like, I understand that Giannis is really frustrated right now and nobody needs to be around him.

I would not have blamed Giannis at all if he had pushed that old man seven rows deep. I'm not kidding you. A seven rows deep into all those people.

You think a player's strong enough to do what he physically did when he was the only player the Pacers were worried about last night? A player, by the way, that every franchise in the league should want to trade everyone for. Like, there are five like that on earth. Just not Bam. You want to have one of those.

All right, Halliburton did that to Giannis at the end of the game. Did it at the rim. I don't think a pacer has done that since Paul George against LeBron. Like, you don't get those shots at the rim at the end of games. Like, that's a... That's a breakdown in Milwaukee that will have Doc Rivers confused for the remainder of the offseason.

And afterwards said on Twitter, because he doesn't mind being a villain, overrate that because I understand how happy the Halliburtons were. And I also would understand...

Backed by Tony, who's saying dad stood on business if dad was then not standing on business because Giannis had grabbed him by the ankles and not unlike a discus thrower, spun around and threw that old man 90 rows deep like he deserved to be thrown because I don't care how happy he is for his son. You don't go after the 6'10 giant on the other team who just had the franchise collapse on his neck.

Oh, Giannis threw Halliburton's dad into the stands. Giannis frisbeed Halliburton's old man into the popcorn.

It's neither the discus nor the shot put.

I have Giannis spinning around from midcourt and launching something further than a t-shirt cannon does. And what is it? It's Halliburton's old man.

What are you guys talking about? Dad stood on business.

There are Halliburton heads rolling. Papa Halliburton's bowling pins. The gorilla's just rolling 100 heads down the street. Idiot heads that got in his face.

Yes. Yes. It was an embarrassing season, Papi. You were caught on the Jumbotron eating. Did anyone tell you that?

So no embarrassment about that? Like that they caught you with your fingers in your mouth?

Yeah, it's true. It's true. You do have to do something there. You have to stop them from doing that.

All right, Bobby, what are you going to do? Mom said that she was thinking about not renewing the season tickets, and then she told me she is renewing the season tickets, but she doesn't like going with you anymore because you're complaining too much.

Okay, yeah, from the loss a couple of days ago, yes.

Okay, well, the game was less than three days ago, so you were not sleeping before the game, and then it was a very embarrassing weekend.

That's not true in any way, Bobby. There's not a ball of wax, and Mickey Harrison did not leave the arena wearing a mustache.

Guys, Poppy's saying things about the heat I've never heard him say before. papi who claims to be heat fan i've been with the heat forever i've been with the heat since lebron got here my father uh is done with people he hasn't been done with before saslo for instance who i mean everybody everybody well who so you're telling me there are people he has not gotten rid of on this team

My father's reporting that Mickey Harrison left the arena in a wig and a mustache and sunglasses. That's an official Levitard report. Put it on the crawl. Put it on the crawl. My father is reporting officially to the country with the Levitard stamp on it that he saw Mickey Harrison leaving the arena the other night in a mustache, a wig, and sunglasses. Like a ball of wax. Investigative reporting.

What happened to your timing with Amin there, Zaz?

Zazlo came in with some of his rattiest attire. I asked him to bring in the three worst things from his closet that his wife hates the most because they're the oldest things.

Over the years, yes, yes. But that's the only reason they're leaving the house. She's giving so many. It's not a we are giving those away. You would never give those away. Those would keep stacking up in all of the closets of your house.

That have gone to Goodwill, right?

Because your wife doesn't want them in the house anymore and would set them on bonfire in the back of the house if she could.

There's like one white W shirt. Let's do the entirety of this, though. How many shirts? What have you brought in? It's all in three. It's all T-shirts. Yeah. And my hypothesis is it started with me saying that I think he's got shirts in his closet that are older than Greg Cody. And while I'm joking about that, I do believe there's the possibility that he unleashes something from 1988 in here.

Like, I believe that. I mean, I was seven years old. Why would I hold on to that? Because you're that weird. It's going to fit my arm. Well, because if not for your wife, you would have every shirt you'd collected since that age. She hates it. She sent all of this stuff out of the house. I'm like, why?

This is a memorabilia off. I've got you beat. Anthony Mason does indeed trump Glenn Rice, but not by much. Both pathetic. Rest in peace.

Come on. Billy, the oldest garment in your home from Marlins, shirts given away at stadiums?

How much of this is going on around here? Because, Chris Cody, I am guessing your wife has got a t-shirt cannon that she is just blowing things out of the house like a leaf blower with because you've got so much crap she doesn't want in the house because you're your father's son.

It's everybody. He doesn't want the team to be anymore what it is.

But in the corner, wait, is there a do not touch? Excuse me, is there a do not touch?

Whoa. Did I get shot? What was that about? It seems disruptive. What just happened there? Wild Billy Wednesday. Yeah, you mentioned that. Who is that? I don't know what that was, but it's a lesser voice than all the other ones that we've paid for professionally around here that are better than that one.

Look, I don't know what's happening with my parents and these tickets, but I will say to you that the heat streak is in jeopardy next season because they've been selling out the place for a long time. And the big story from last night, I think if we're going to be transaction heavy, is Giannis producing that game.

and losing and being eliminated by a Pacers team that doesn't have a player as good as him. And that is a structural problem, management problem, not able to keep a champion around him problem. And he's been passed in a way that his excellence... The window's closing on his excellence. This is the back end of his prime, is it not?

I'm not even saying, I'm knowing that statistically you're looking at somebody who's looking as good as he's ever been, but there has to be a descent from here, correct?

Okay, I'm not saying he's not great. Not my intention. My point is, as great as he is, he can't be losing in the first round. That doesn't lose in the first round when it's that great. That's a structural issue.

Well, he won a playoff game, but the stats... That's what I said. He can't win a playoff game. But he did win a playoff game. Where did we come up with a? He likes doing that as... What?

No, Mike Ryan stole that from Zaslow. That is a Zaslow original.

That is not—Mike Ryan won't claim, ah, I think Whittingham stole it from Zaslow, too. That should be a patented catchphrase. That should be copyrighted by Zaslow. Anyone else in the market has stolen it.

What are you smiling about, Taslo?

Can you guys find video, please, of Amin racing Pablo and whoever else it was when we did those races outside of the Clevelander that were a liability risk and eventually ESPN took them away from us?

But Marino was wildly famous at the time. Marino's not three-time Pro Bowler Brian Arakbo.

I don't know. Find out for me what he said, because he might not have been a three-time Pro Bowler. I think they might have actually given him more Pro Bowls in the commercial than he actually had, just because they were false advertising, I feel like.

OJ is the first. This is the first commercial of this kind we're talking about. They're imagining you running through an airport looking like the first commercial there was anywhere on television for anything involving someone from sports.

that David Sampson, by virtue of being in billionaire company, would have a better ticket guy than I have, but he said he couldn't get Pearl Jam tickets in a week and couldn't necessarily get good tickets... And I think I can.

I don't think. You are all pro. Thank you. Please look up whether he was actually an all pro.

I felt like I thought the reason I'm remembering a commercial from 20 years ago is because they also got it wrong.

I thought he was a pro bowler and not an all pro.

They're wrong. That's correct. This is the part I'm getting to. I don't understand why everybody still don't know. And I'm like, no, the reason that it's funny is not merely because Andrew Luck is over-enunciating, introducing to an audience, here's this person with a funny name.

No, I'm joking. Okay.

Not thank you, Mr. Dutz. He's not an all-pro. It's also wrong. So it's not merely that they're introducing him to the audience to sell something. They're doing so incorrectly. It's the reason that I remember that commercial.

The thing that I was trying to get to here with the rest of you is I legitimately feel bad for Mike Ryan, who has left the show in disgrace today because he went viral yesterday the way that he went viral.

Let's get David back on to negotiate free work from Zaslow on behalf of the company if indeed this is something that he can execute. I don't think people understand what a hard thing David Sampson just did.

This is difficult. Look, locally, Pearl Jam does not play. Never. And Pearl Jam is at the end of this. And my wife and I have gone and seen Pearl Jam. I'm excited that you're going. We don't think they're going to play much anymore. And Zaslow cares about Pearl Jam more than I know.

That's what it says to God's successful readers. The audience. The audience didn't know, Dan. As a successful wearer of Pearl Jam, you have much Pearl Jam gear? I have much Pearl Jam gear. Well, we've got to negotiate on air then, right?

The thing that I was beginning to say about the things happening at our company, because Samson's getting more and more power, and we've got to be careful about that. Well, you have to. Everybody needs to be. Everybody needs to be. Because what are you giving me the thumbs up about?

So can you do better? I'm trying. Are you? I have not yet begun to try, but I'm guessing that I could. Well, what's better? I don't know.

Well, but let's negotiate this. Let's watch Samson in negotiation. But before I do that, because I just do want to get to the thing I was saying, I feel bad because Mike Ryan left the show. I don't know why he left the show today. But there was shame involved for him yesterday in going viral in a costume.

And one of the reasons that John Amici is here wrestling David Sampson to make sure that our company is run correctly so that everybody feels cared for is at least in part because we're trying to make the show better than it has been.

And because costumes around here are not something that anyone will wear, even though a bunch of people own a bunch of different punishments and our customers want costumes. And yesterday, by accident, Mike Ryan wearing a costume went viral, which is my favorite thing. I think we should give bonuses, David, when anybody goes viral wearing a costume. But it wasn't as he intended.

He was just wearing a ridiculous shirt. And so what ended up happening is he comes after Ryan Clark and Ryan Clark got some information wrong. Mike sounded pompous, but Mike was also right. But Mike was wearing a ridiculous shirt. So can you guys put up, please, the video of or I'm sorry, the picture of the shirt that Mike Ryan was wearing? Yeah. And so you guys...

But you guys can see why that would be embarrassing. He looks stupid.

From a guy wearing a Pearl Jam sweater.

All right, so start the negotiation, Samson. Let's watch you negotiate. How much free work are you... You've got the tickets? You've got them secured?

Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Have you ever heard anyone refer to underwear as skivvies at Levitard Show?

You want him to try a third time? I appreciate that you're treating him like a trained monkey here, but I would like for you guys to actually negotiate.

Yeah. You've been... You come in here today, use our platform to grovel.

I mean, you're right to coach him this way. But if we were to test sort of how Zaslow feels about things, however much he loves Pearl Jam is how much he hates David Sampson saving money on the Marlins.

Please stop pushing him. Please, please. Always asking for more. He cannot help. He cannot help. It's going to say it on his tombstone. Always asking for more. I don't understand. Before we get to Zazzler, this is what I don't understand. Perhaps our crack training team here will explain to me what happened.

Please explain to me how in the other room Tony wants to throw it to a song and surprises an executive producer with a thick song who's still looking for it because they didn't coordinate to play that song like producers would as Tony was talking about it.

Samson, I need your help here. Close this out. Get him Pearl Jam tickets, and what does it cost? How much does he have to work for free?

David, why are you starting so low, David?

You're coming in very cheap, David. I'm coming in to close.

I've got to stop everybody here. Roy, you're as disappointed as I am here, right? Don't do that. Do you know how much Zaslow would give up to have this? I said six months. Having him come in here a few times. Not a chore either. Love coming in here. Love it. I don't have any idea. Samson, are you going to be negotiating on behalf of Metal Ark? I need you to not be if that's how poorly you do it.

What a snur!

But wait a minute. So I feel like I can get the second night. This is what it's talking about. I feel... But wait. But how much... What's legal here, David? I already told my guy, forget it. In terms of how... He didn't have a guy. Stugatz was going to be the hero. But...

But he's unselfish. He's unselfish. What can I do here to get the payoff? All right. Are you here tomorrow? Yeah. For free. David, are there legalities involved here? Because I don't feel like you negotiated that very well. I feel like we could get— Someone committing a crime? Yeah.

Well, I just feel like I'm just stunned that David came in so low on something that he got when the return he could have gotten is free work from an employee. Maybe he appreciates that I'm a nice boy.

Zaslow would work for free for a year for this company in exchange for what you're offering him.

His lip is quivering. Look, I've known Zaslow for a long time. I've known Zaslow's crazy for a long time. There is nothing in the world he is as crazy about as Pearl Chan.

Is anyone here aware, as we did everything that we did there with Pablo and Samson, I've never seen Samson laugh like that. He was spasming. It was real emotion. He was violently spasming because he knows how funny it is that I was apologizing for something that embarrassed me and then I did it again. And I'm not sure the audience or you guys still remember

I knew exactly what you were going to say. I did too, but he had to throw in Fred McGriff after. It sounded like any better.

I mean, you're doing this very poorly. I'm going to have to stop you for a number of different reasons, including that you're doing this very poorly. Am I?

The question is, Zaslow, who do you love more, Pearl Jam or the Heat?

Two-time champion broadcaster.

What an asshole. He can't just take what's there. He has to always ask for more. Just say your wife for crying out loud. Of course, my wife.

The better way to ask that question is, who do you like better, the heat or your wife? Because then he can just...

Yes. A play-in game. A build-up.

I actually want to see if David Sampson can negotiate how much free work out of Zazz in exchange for free Pearl Jam tickets. I want to ask you guys two questions. One starts with... Last segment. I hope my wife's not listening. She's not. I assure you, she's not. The last segment, okay, Roy and Zazz, I wanted to carry us into hockey playoffs. Here they come. What a magical time.

You and I were ready to sit back and watch two guys talk puck. We were going to watch Roy and Zaz cook. And Roy decided to do a lot of analysis in against the spread that gave us the start to some hockey. But all Zazlo gave us while I was trying to get, let's Panthers lightning. They hate each other. Let's see what we could get there.

I felt off of my partner of 20 years here that Stugatz felt the same thing that I did, which is we were tossing a lob to Zaslow and we were going to watch the boys work for a while. And then both Stugatz and I got confused by... Get that ass took. Yeah. As analysis. Yeah. As analysis. Yeah.

Yeah. The hockey show sometimes on Friday, like they break it down and they'll explain to you what's happening between Tampa and Florida. But get that ass took. Yeah. It's not helpful. It just wasn't helpful.

know what it is that I was apologizing for. No idea. In the dog den.

Again, the taking of the ass. Why take it? You know exactly what he means.

It's not analysis. You have to take it.

Two asses. Cutting it up. I remember when Tampa was the ass taker.

Wasn't that long ago.

They're claiming that no ass was taken last night. That it was just 5-1 Tampa and it doesn't matter.

Understood. It's still Tampa.

Yeah, yeah. I can't believe I'm sitting in the middle of a market where I just saw our resident legend radio hockey people have the back and forth efficient exchange of Tampa. So? What do you mean Tampa's so? Tampa's been a haunt. They've been a haunting franchise that made you completely change everything that you were doing blueprint-wise because they've owned Florida.

A lot of people were confused earlier this week by something that I said because we were making fun of the Peabody Award. And the Peabody Award is a very prestigious award.

For the last seven years.

Their time is done. Yes. You understand how I'm watching basketball and everyone's still here saying, I don't know about LeBron. I don't know about Steph. And both of you are like Tampa so. Are you? You can't look at me in the face, see what this franchise has done for 30 years, and go Tampa so. I bet you Zaslo can.

Something happened yesterday on the show that I need to show the audience because it's the reason that John Amici, John Amici, a hero of mine for a lot of reasons, is braving customs and everything else to fly in here and make sure that our company is protected during a prosperous time and so that we can do all the corporate exorcism around here we have to do so that David Sampson cannot win.

He cannot be the one who wins at the end. It has to be the rest of us that win. It cannot be David Sampson.

So you were apologizing to the Peabody? No.

He comes right in the way Amin catches the red eye. And he's Uber driver. Launching like just. I wish I had video of you running through that airport.

Like OJ. From Golden State Memphis to get to this thing.

So no one still, as we do this, no one understands what I'm embarrassed about, what I'm apologizing for, and Zaslow still doesn't know the truth of why it is Pablo would be mad at me.

Are we allowed to play that commercial? I think that's so, that commercial is so old that I don't believe that many people listening to this have any idea what you're talking about. But it's like one of, it might be the first famous sports commercial.

I bet you we can do a whole show about all of those because that happens a lot. Hell, they put Tua in uniform because nobody was going to recognize him.

He has no business being in a commercial. He's not the one. In that commercial, they had to say, hey, look, it's three-time pro bowler Brian Arakpo or whatever it was.

Yeah. But we can play the game. If we open that up right now to the audience and had something live to interact with the audience, you'd get 50 funny ones like that. Because commercials have to do that all the time when they want to go to sports for sponsorship, but they're going to somebody who doesn't cross over.

Pablo, Pablo, one more question. One more question, Pablo. Have you ever done an episode? Oh, come on.

If he's ever done an episode on helping a friend get tickets. Come on.

Look, it's been a year. They can come get that ass took, all right? Let's go.

Tony, bring us home.

All right, but it's not bullshit, though, because the NBA last night is showing you they're a good product when the players try. Like, it's not bullshit. Well, when they play.

I don't think we've mentioned this yet today. Golden State and Memphis last night, great game overall. Has there ever been a more anticlimactic finish?

Oh, David has a ticket. Let's get right to it. He has a ticket.

On television, it was brutal. Brutal. Five seconds.

Maybe he didn't know.

Oh, yeah. What are we weighing here? Like, what's what are we talking about?

And it's not that I'm disorganized. It's that I don't want to have to count on someone else. Like I, I'd like to get it done myself and I have failed. I have failed miserably. So now I need help.

No, that's fair, but you got to weigh, it's sitting up top, and am I also able to pay $2,000?

I'll work for free this week if that happens.

Two shows, Thursday and Saturday. Two shows, two shows. Two shows, Thursday, Saturday. Thursday and Saturday.

You're asking me?

Oh no, I need to go to both shows. But you need two tickets to each show, right? Yeah, how do I not take my son? He loves them too. My son!

No, I would accept just one. See, this is what happens. You do the arbitrage thing. No, I'm not going to be a schnurrer. If you presented me with one ticket, I'm very happy about that. Very.

Is this someone who is greedy, doesn't appreciate? Me.

Well, I read it yesterday on Barrett Sports Media and the tone of the article was very much, Dan is really mad at Pablo Torre.

But I'm telling you why I'm rooting for it because it's going to be real confusing in your personal record book to do whatever it is that you're going to do. James Harden. You're going to get a part two on James Harden.

Make sure, Stan, But what are you going to do if the championship is won by James Harden drilling a bunch of important buzzer beaters because they've got two other guys out there to make you not worry about James Harden?

Well, he hired you, and legends of such strength. that Amin Elhassan, one of our giant personalities around here, is flying in with emergency desperation from the Memphis Golden State game that he was at last night, which is great, by the way.

Yes, he had some options. He had some options after he was bought out, and he chose the Clippers. He didn't have to choose the Clippers. There were reasons. I assume that it's real estate and location-based.

I don't know if he thinks or thought that they could surprise some people, but what do you think of my contentions as that if the Clippers won the championship, they would be the single most surprising champion in the history of the league? Whew!

win four playoff series not cumulative over his career no no in one postseason he's done it twice I saw him do it once I saw him do it as the primary piece once and I saw him do it with LeBron looking over his shoulder waiting for him to come off the bench and being scared at 25 the first time

Just great. Takes everything Steph and Jimmy got to take out finger guns. Amin flies in with desperation. An urgency to come and bring us the information from last night's game, but has to step aside for the legendary Zaslow so that he can interact with the legendary Stugant. And I don't love that for Amin. I've got to be honest. We all have to sacrifice. I don't love that Amin's not there.

I do have to stop you just for a second. We'll get to the second biggest surprise. He's rolling. No, I just want to clearly understand what he said because the information is good. You surprised even a radio legend. No, he knew. No, no. He was going to say it. He said he was going to say it. I feel like he might have been lying. What?

Warriors. So, yeah. So, you know what? I'm sorry. I'm going to have to do this for the first time. I regret doing this.

I need to find it here. I need to find out where it is. No, that's not it. Celebrating him? No, that's not what I meant to do. No, that's the wrong thing. I'm sorry. No, here it is. I found it. You dropped a doogie. Yes, thank you.

I just want to better understand what Amin was saying there because I think the audience received it the same way I did. How can you say with a straight face to us that the most surprising team in NBA history is the blackest team in NBA history? You can't say that. I mean, it's something Mad Dog would say. You can't say, you cannot say that publicly. Emphasis on history. Yeah.

You can't say that the most surprising team in NBA, put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Can you say the most surprising team in NBA history is the blackest team in NBA history? That can't be a surprise.

The 1975 Clippers did? They did, yeah. Warriors.

It's not that I don't love Amin causing the chaos that Jessica causes in that seat. I'm just saying that I don't know whether Amin is hurt or not by Jonathan Zaslow, someone that he perhaps doesn't know that well. Jonathan Zaslow, who wasn't available to us earlier this week because he's very busy with ESPN now. He was doing very busy ESPN things.

Don Levitard. What is the worst part of the life? Stugatz.

We have something I want to get to here with Zazz because I heard him and Stugatz negotiating and I think Stugatz is going to try to help Zazz with something that he may or may not help him with. It's going to be hard to help Zazz with something that he needs help with.

I did want to tell you guys here that at some point today, I need you guys to remind me to apologize for what was one of the most embarrassing mistakes of my career this week. And it sort of escaped some notice, but I want to put it out in front of everybody so that everyone can see it.

And I can apologize for legitimately, I'm not making this up, one of the most embarrassing things that I've ever done that some of you may or may not have noticed that I have to get out in front of people and take the flogging on. Before I do that, though, Dan Dockich is really mad at me. Wow. Wow.

He also doesn't think that Eric Spolstra is a good coach. What?

So, but when I say, I don't know why Dan Dockich is mad, I have that partially wrong. I could actually be lying in that circumstance because he's mad because there are people other than white people in the world. That's why he's mad. But when he's mad in this clip, I don't know what he's mad about.

I legitimately have not heard anything in this clip except that he's doing the best thing that you can do at the front of this clip, Sports Radio 101. He's got it mastered. You have to start what you're saying this way.

Stugatz is being made happy here by Zaslow's presence. I see. He's really unloading the cannon from over there and then turning away with a flinch from me.

Well, I mean, it's a big deal and was a big deal at ESPN, too.

Crumbs don't usually stain. Sausage. I think what he is talking about, I said at one point with that TikTok video that Florida was dancing around to, I thought that Dockage made some sort of point that you can't win a championship doing TikTok videos, which is, to be fair to me, Something Dockich would say. Checks out.

But I didn't say it about the right team because evidently, I don't know whether to believe him or not, he didn't say that about Florida. And I quoted him wrong. So I got the team wrong. You know what? Dan Dockich, everything you said is right. Wow. Wow. Wow. I got the team wrong. Yeah.

But everything I said about you not liking anyone who's not white is also right.

Please do.

What were you and Zazz negotiating about because... Well, we're not negotiating.

He didn't hear what you said. He was too busy talking. He didn't see you there because he's ready to do the show with Zaslav.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Five-minute major. Out. Great time. Game time is great for everything. Go find those tickets to Pearl Jam at game time. Out. I'll find them right now. Great time. Promo code Dan. Are you kidding me? This ESPN shit's going to your head so much that we say game time, you say the word no afterward?

That's unbelievable what he just did. What are you promising him, Stugatz?

GameTime is the best. We all know this. Zas is the worst. We've all known this for 20 years around here, if you've ever been in this market. He does things like that. He's a rebel. This is how he climbs at ESPN, who continues to feed all of these gas bags like Zaslow and give them more and more power, even though they have no respect for anything.

We have the best sponsors. They keep this whole thing afloat so that we can do this every day.

I want to get to the embarrassing thing, and I want to talk a little more about this Pearl Jam thing, because I, too, am very excited that they're going to be this close. Two tickets. You're going with a friend. Maybe you split the tab. Maybe you Venmo them.

Well, we'll talk about this a little bit with Zaslow, because I do have an unbelievable ticket guy.

unbelievable right in that i have and this has only been happening over i would say the last three or four years where the the hardest stuff the taylor swift stuff and anything on a moment's notice i just can't believe that this thing exists right uh but i think i have the same guy do a couple of shots of jagermeister make sure they're ice cold though

That's a lot of work Amin is doing to get back here to Florida this morning for this show after being at Memphis Golden State last night. You must be beat up.

So I want to get to this with Zaslow, but please do not let me forget at any moment to remind. I'll do it within the next hour here that I owe an apology to somebody publicly for something that I did wrong. On this show.

Well, no, no, no, no. I'm not saying that. I'm just telling you. I make the ask very infrequently. Like, I don't. Stugatz hasn't learned this lesson. I've been trying to teach it to him for years.

Yeah, well, but OK, so you do that way and you keep asking and you often get your tickets. I ask people of power very, very, very infrequently for anything. And I maintain my relationships with those people in power because of how infrequently I ask for things. Stugatz is not built like that. And he sometimes gets tickets, too.

I wouldn't mind having a competition with Stu Gotts about whose ticket guy is better. I love that competition.

I doubt. Well, maybe. I am pretty confident. Well, if we have the same ticket guy, let's do it this way. I think I can say with 100% certainty as we sit here that I will get Zaslow a ticket. No. You know what? I can, but I might not. I can, but I might not. That's not 100%. No, no. No, no.

You should take Zaslow. A lot of people would want the tickets.

He would, but he— That's what I'm trying to say. Exactly that is what I'm trying to say. I'm not promising Zaslow that I could correct this problem for him. I am telling the audience as a way of executing this competition with you about who has the better— How did it become a competition?

But can you get them? I don't know. I told him, I don't know. Then we don't have the same ticket guy.

No, I can get tickets. I know I can get tickets. Yes, yes. For me. And me. Well, but I don't make excessive asks of the people in power. I would do what Stugatz is doing here, where there's a line where I would ask for me. It would have to be hugely important. And now if I'm asking pluses, plus one, plus two, plus three.

I'm going to do like a wedding list, wedding guest list of who's willing to be the best man type of list.

I can get a sports radio show right next to me that's just all Pearl Jam. It's what? Channel 23 on Sirius XM? Just all Pearl Jam.

Well, let's see, though, what it is that we can execute here, though, because do you believe that Stugatz will actually try for you or as soon as he leaves here, he will stop thinking about it? The dead are 23, by the way.

So you're not going to try anymore? I did try. I didn't go to the guy yet.

When will the B guy answer? Today. Okay. Come on. Can we do this already? Before the end of the show?

When Stugat says there's a lot of pressure in being the ticket guy because he is right. Everyone I know believes I can get any ticket to sports there is.

In the world. You got two for the Super Bowl? Everybody I know thinks that I'm game time, that I can get any ticket. Dan, World Cup final next year. Which I can at game time. At game time, I can.

You made it from curbside to your plane in less than 15 minutes?

I'm going to guess that whoever is your prime ticket guy is only your prime ticket guy because I got you tickets through that prime ticket guy. Who's my B guy? That's your B. Wow! Wait, wait, wait. My A guy is your B guy? I'm going to guess. The guy that got me tickets to Springsteen on Broadway?

You know your B guy, I think, can get tickets because I presented you with that ability because you needed tickets for something. So I not only not have taken your request, I gave you, I think, the guy. There's no way that you would be able, before me, through this guy to get those tickets. No way. Not what I'm talking about.

Look, am I going to Pearl Jam or not?

We are bragging about A guys and B guys, but nobody's gotten him a ticket.

What have you done so far? That's the thing. When he says I'm trying, there's nothing. There's nothing.

Can you ever get... From the curb to a plane that is in flight within 20 minutes. All the time.

It's the thing that I am worried about there is the fact that they closed the doors early and the extra 10 minutes. Like, he did not have enough time to make that flight. That is not enough time. He made it. But were you running? Of course. I was like, OJ. And did you make it? Were they closing the door?

Shadow Show. Shadow Show. Shadow Show.

That can't be true. They don't. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Do you feel like all Uber drivers are confident? And what did you say? Oh, and do all Uber drivers have stories out the wazoo?

No, I've had it closed on my face. Really? In fact, I've only missed one flight in my life because it was closed in my face. You said I'm Dan Levitard. No. I did not. It didn't do any good. It wouldn't have done any good.

I mean... Zaslow has a big problem that I want to get to, but I want to get to the game last night because... My God, they needed all of Jimmy Butler to be all the Jimmy Butler things to get past the team we know wasn't going to win the championship. That team of 30-year-old people are going to have to do an awful lot against teams a lot better than Memphis.

Shadow in it. Shadow in it. Chris, can you help me with something that I'm legitimately confused by as we talk right now? I was going to start right now by saying what a delightful treat to have in the studio at the same time Radio legends Jonathan Zaslow and Stugatz. I don't think they're normally in the same studio together. I cannot remember the last time. Have they ever worked together here?

But they got the one they needed last night to improve their seating. How much fun was that for you? Because Golden State is going to be one of the primary storylines until they're eliminated.

No, but that's why they got Jimmy. I mean, the difference in that game is Jimmy and Steph get free throws and Ja didn't. Well, Ja got hurt.

Steph was 11-11?

point is that the Golden State Warriors have never had the player that gets to the free throw line. Clay and Steph have been great at making their free throws, but Jimmy Butler will go stop the game by just pump faking a couple of times and next thing you know, yes, jaw got hurt, but if you're going to win a game like that, Jimmy Butler and Steph Curry knock out John Morant.

It can't be between those players that two of them on Golden State have 30 free throws and Memphis has three.

Oh, but this one's hugely interesting at the intersection of all the things changing in that sport. Is Gobert going to be able to play now or not? Is Edie going to be able to play this time of year or not?

I went more than I went to the eight. No, I'm not asking that. I'm asking and have been asking since he was drafted. Hey, that can't play in the league anymore.

Here comes Stugatz. I was just going to wonder, where's Stugatz? Because I don't think you two have worked together recently. We have.

Well, I want to do this with you guys because I believe there are at least a couple of teams in the West that have some of the ingredients that you would need to surprise an Oklahoma City team that I don't believe anybody in the West is nearly as good as. But the ingredients that you would have to have, I would say that Golden State has them.

And I would say this is what I'm rooting for, that the Clippers have it. You're big on the Clippers, man. I'll tell you why I'm rooting for the Clippers, beyond thinking they're exceptional. The reason I'm rooting for the Clippers is if that team wins the championship, we're going to have a hell of a confusing time figuring out where and how to put James Harden and Kawhi Leonard together.

in history's players because they've got a champion. Because James Harden has one championship and Kawhi Leonard has multiple championships. Three on three different teams? And then I would ask you the next question on that, why I'm rooting for this. If the Clippers win the championship, this is the question I've been wanting to ask Amin.

If the Clippers win the championship, did they get the better of the trade with Oklahoma City, given that they erased laughingstock Clippers from the resume forever? Remember what the history of that team is. I mean, remember what the history of that team is.

And how many times have you done it?

How about at 790? Oh, yeah, yeah, a few times. Yeah, a couple times.

I feel like Amin really, he really cornered us on that one. We all just had to be ignorant in his face. He's upset because he's in the other room and he now wants to embarrass the people in this one.

Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

That's a good weakness to point out, but I do think you're kind of skipping over what Zubats has been because for those who do not know what is happening with the Clippers both offensively and defensively, because yes, you've seen Kawhi's resume. You've seen James Harden's resume. That's not why the Clippers are championship worthy this year.

It's the third guy.

Okay, so this is a gathering right now, a nostalgic gathering for people who have been listening to 790 since its inception of two legends.

It's done. Oh, that's the thing. They can get eliminated in the first round. I'm in a position for Stugatz to laugh at me if they lose in five games or Kawhi gets hurt. They're a fragile thing.

It's a Gucci cap. Now, he did a lot of signings in Vegas. Maybe he pulled one off one of the sidewalk tables. But that is supposed to appear like a Gucci hat.

I think his would be. You got to RSVP.

Yeah, memorial.

Huh? Game got a little tougher.

It is Pete Rose. We're alleging a hit king's just going to get a fake Gucci? Come on, man.

I think those were more memorable, but they had more matchups, especially with the marquee story in that sport. But to Amin's point... I mean, they also went to an IST final, however you want to downplay that. They got to a trophy final against LeBron James.

Yeah, I mean, they've done a fair amount of suffering already with this core.

Wake the kids up. It's Paul George. Paul George is the one that's shitting bricks.

I mean, you haven't seen Sugatz in a while, but to be fair, many in our audience haven't.

According to Barrett Sports Media, that's Jonathan Zaslow.

It looks like 60 also triggered something else, pal.

But if... Man, what a terrible comedy setup. Oh, this is great. I'm sorry, Hank.

In the future, several decades from now, let's say Major League Baseball then makes the decision after Pete Rose is long gone to enshrine him in the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame. How would you feel about that?

shadow show shadow show shadow show shadow show shadow show shadow show shadow in it shadow in it i should probably ask billy this question directly but i'm afraid to talk to him now that he's got this empowering wednesday uh and it's uh gone to his head a little bit But I will ask the rest of you, instead of Billy, because I don't want to look him in the eye.

But the reason... Okay, so yes, we mentioned that he had his best year. I was just saying we're headed into the 30s, and still I was saying you trade everything for him almost no matter who you are. And the reason is the same reason that the Celtics are unlikely to be able to rally against the Knicks because... You need a guy who breaks down everything the defense is going to do.

And you can build around that. It's the most important thing that you would need from a player that is a centerpiece is somebody who is such a physical force that he can wreck everything you're trying to do on defense. And it doesn't matter if Max Struess is playing for Cleveland or the Heat or whatever. You can find four guys who can shoot around it.

I'm sorry, you said who would rally against the Knicks?

I'm not sure. I've been watching this series just like you guys have been, but I'm not sure you've been watching the Knicks all season if you're confident that they can't lose the next two games.

The Knicks can very easily lose twice to the remains of this Boston.

Oh, wow. Delayed chickens.

Speaking of chickens, Roy has been nothing. He said, I'm a chicken. Chicken? Nothing. Zaz needs some work on the chicken.

He's early. I'm getting used to this. He's trying to figure out how all this stuff works. Imagine how disorienting it is. You sit in the seat. You're just hanging out. And all of a sudden, everyone's talking like a chicken. He doesn't know how to do an impersonation of a chicken. So he explains just obviously, like all the bad impersonations, I'm a chicken.

He was angry. He was bothered, and he does vigorously defend his son. We will see if he comes in tomorrow. He's also asking for a raise. Or you're an asshole. Well, why does it have to be either or? Why can't it be that I'm an asshole and he's asking for a raise?

And by the way, like this part's not a joke, right? Zaslow is, I don't want to speak for him here. Go on. But he marvels at Greg Cody's lack of self-awareness.

So I don't want to speak for you here. That's all you do.

So this is what I'm saying. They're always real and you're always left to wonder, is he serious or is this performative? I told Greg yesterday when he left, I told him, Greg, how is it after all this time, 20 years together?

How do you not understand that you're angry is funny and there's nothing like it in like, Jackass did some of this when they, you know, it's a kid bothering his father. It's funny. And Greg mad? There's nothing funnier than Greg actually mad and forgetting that we're doing a show together.

Well, so let's take people behind the scene on when the cast members don't know what's bit and what's real. What I'm telling you with Greg Cody, whether it's the hard network out or him getting mad, all that's real. Greg doesn't know that we're bleeping with him. Greg does this show as serious sports radio person who has no idea.

He does not think that Billy is agreeing with him because Billy is somebody who's doing show.

The curtain is there for some reason. Thank you, guys. You are absolutely right to correct me on that. Sometimes I don't know when we're doing show and when we're not doing show. I'm glad you said it. Because when I came in here today and Billy said I was an asshole. Kind of, I said.

It seems like the kind of colorful, sugary excess that you would find at Little Caesars because what do I want with my cheese? Just a candy drink that's carbonated and tastes like mango. I don't put it on the poll at Levitard Show because I think everyone winks the same way. Does mango Mountain Dew sound good to you? Because the sound of it does not sound good. We all winced.

Before we answer that question, just real quick.

I am not. I have rarely been more embarrassed than the first thing that happened when we left ESPN is everyone here started panhandling on Cameo.

Whoa, you stumbled onto another wild Billy Wednesday. Hold on to your hats, partners. It's about to get wild. I've worked for 15 years with Billy Gill, and he has never said what he came in here today and said to me boldly. Just not in any way fearful, emboldened, I think, by the fact that Amin came in screaming at me, yelling. Remember, Dan, when you thought the Thunder were done after game one?

It was seconds after we left.

So much money. Christmas was fun. But Zaslow just got here, and so he's asking you for tips. How does he greedily take advantage of the audience immediately? He waited about 10 days before asking. You're going to fit right in here, buddy. That's what that chair does right there.

What? Yeah.

No, it's a plague around here. It's just a plague. People get here and they're just like, how do I find places where there are money?

So this is why I'm embarrassed by some of the things that happen around here because some people can be so gluttonous that they can even turn down the money because they can't get around to it because there are too many requests and that happens with Stugatz and others. But the part

that was problematic when we left ESPN wasn't just that we immediately started panhandling in a way that Greg Cody objects to when he leaves the five-star Michelin restaurant and a panhandler is outside. He doesn't want to be panhandled.

It was that it made what you guys just did now, where you did the subtle advertising for your cameos. For days, you guys were talking about this in a way that contaminated our show. And now he's done it in the middle of the hockey playoffs. He's done it in the middle of the basketball playoffs. He's like, hey, how do I find more money?

Okay, I'm sorry. Yes, I erred there. I got it wrong. Well, this is supposed to be your wheelhouse, though. Food, yes. Thank you. Stop biting the hand that feeds me.

Wow, Billy wins. It's Billy's day. That's one of the best jokes you've ever done. Thank you. I appreciate it. Billy didn't even hear it. I won't even repeat it. Billy didn't even hear it. I'm trying to help out Zaslo here. We need to get back to sports.

He's a busy man. We need to get back to sports. It's an interesting time in sports.

It is a crazy story. You can put it for later in the show because we should have got to it yesterday. But I don't want to leave the local hour and get to Hank Azaria and start talking next. It's a pretty enormous Panther game tonight, and I know that Roy and Zaz and Chris pretend to not be afraid because you've got the better team, but this is terrifying. No, no, I'm afraid.

And also he did. And he also threw in what's this moment you keep talking about? Like everyone's a little stronger on Wednesdays. But Billy said to me after yesterday's show, it wasn't good morning. It was you were an asshole yesterday to Chris and his father.

It's best of three in Toronto, and that place is dying. If they knock off the Panthers, you guys know that this will be a fan base that is feeling as good as it's ever felt.

Unprecedented! So it would be, put it on the poll at Levitard Show, is it unprecedented to win in seven after you've lost in six? Zaslow, the homer train around here, I'm embarrassed for Zaslow on this behalf.

Do you understand how hard it is to be more of a homer than Greg Cody, Parakeet Cortez, and Mike Ryan about our local sports teams? You never think the local team is going to lose. You have never in 20 years watching you do this do you go into a night predicting the locals are going to lose tonight.

We did a decade of radio on, hey, they're four points out. With a game in hand.

And now look where we live. But you should be, Roy. You can't do bravado right now. Even if you're the champions, and even if you know you've got the best team, this is a difficult spot, and hockey can happen, and you can lose in that building to their backup goalie.

Okay, that softens it. But you've never called me an asshole to my face before.

The Heat had a minority owner like this as well many years ago. You have to be careful with the minority owners who have public opinions because they're just rich people who don't actually have the power of the toy.

Minority.

Minority owners usually aren't valuable enough to keep around with something like this.

Right, right. You want to give me the Wild Billy Wednesday sound here? Because I have a question here. Wild Billy Wednesday. That I need transitionally to. It's a strange transition. Yeah, well, I needed something softer. Yes, I'm still getting used to Wild Willie Wednesday.

I mean, can you answer for me this question? I fear that I'm asking a stupid question. Mike Ryan corrected me on this last week. I think I referred to a goaltender as a goalkeeper or a goalkeeper as a goaltender. I mean, do you know the difference between those two things? Not just like, of course, we can just say goalie, but one who tends and one who keeps.

Do you know the actual difference of that? Because I don't. Yeah, one's for hockey, one's for soccer. Nope. That wasn't that hard. Not hard.

I don't think we should be telling people what is real and what is not real as people, for example, wonder about the whereabouts of Stugatz. And I kind of wish that was a bit. But I don't understand why Stugatz was on the schedule four days this week and hasn't gotten here yet. He's still in Newark.

Well, this is what's happening right now. This is what's happening. Zaz is like, I'm on a heater, man. I can't believe Stugatz is leaving the seat open.

Is it more or less than 15 years? 15 sounds about right.

Again with this, with all people love money, Zaslow. That's true. It's not just wives. Husbands also love money. Yeah, that's true. Really? We're the show now that plays a cash register sound?

Why don't you find me? He did love his son. He really did.

That's some type of odd detail. No, but he really loved his kid.

Joe Biden. That's a good one.

Greg Cody. Greg Cody, there is nothing, there is nothing that will make Greg Cody angrier. And he gets, this is a place that he will get emotional faster and with more claws than in defense of his two children.

I think 15 is about right. Billy, do you have an exact number?

That's a good question on the depths of his narcissism, but I've seen it happen enough that he will rise to the vigorous defense of his son when his son behaves as Greg Cody would. And so when I say too harshly an indictment of Chris Cody, that's basically just an umbrella for my executive producer doesn't return my phone calls. This is true. It's just an umbrella. This is true.

It's an umbrella complaint that I can't always, I couldn't get a hold of him when he was my assistant. I have some trouble reaching him now that he's in the acting role as executive producer. And so I just didn't say that, but I don't know how you can object to that. I texted you the other day that Dave Starr died.

I just, do you know is what I'm saying.

Yeah. You know, I did miss that. That is true. And that's fair. I'm under a lot of different stuff now. But the thing I had requested from you and Izzy, you guys didn't actually like all you said is, yeah, we answered your questions by telling you we weren't going to send any of the things you asked for. Yes, because we explained why they were unnecessary. It's an answer.

It is an answer, but it's not a completion.

It's not the completion of the task, right? It's just to tell me, no, I can't do that, isn't really completing what it is that I've requested.

Do you guys have any thoughts on the ravaging the Pacers just gave the Cleveland Cavaliers? Because I said yesterday the Pacers can beat anybody, and that's not true. They can't beat OKC. But playing that style of basketball on – I mean – on any game, they can be good enough to beat you. But doing this to Cleveland, right?

Because I didn't actually write off OKC, though I want to hear your thoughts on this. I mean, I'm just respecting the best player in the world and probably not respecting OKC's defense enough because I have so rarely seen Jokic look like he looked in games three and four and Denver was still in those games. But I'm not writing off anybody. I'm just respecting the best player in the world.

Well, what's the indictment of this? Because Cleveland will go down as someone no one will believe in next year because of what happened last year and what happened this year. But those four players that they have are a hell of a core.

I will say, though, that what you're presently watching is the hardening of the Pacers over the playoffs where last year they were a thing to be feared and they had all sorts of win probabilities over the Celtics where they should have won like three of the playoff games late, were probable to win and blew all of them. This feels like a different team to me. Do I have this wrong?

It's just a 50-win team. And I don't know, in today's game, when the players are talking about Halliburton being overrated, I'm watching a player and I'm like, that's not overrated.

He took Duncan Robinson's job because when he's 0 for 9, he knows he's making the 10th one. He doesn't mind 0 for 9. What I loved about Max. The reason that he made $50 million is because, yes, throw me the ball, I will always shoot it. I'm going to continue to space the floor this way. I think that happens.

I did not know that. I am learning that now. I texted you. I texted you and Sugatz. I texted you and Sugatz. That's bad ball.

I wish, though, that we had a segment somewhere in sports where we had so much access that instead of all the stories that we get about, oh, he told me in the dugout he was going to hit a home run before he went up there. This story where a guy tries to fire up his team and then goes 0 for 9 and has nothing to do with the reason they won the basketball game.

There has been nothing more diluted in sports than the public guarantee someone makes because words mean nothing. But you mentioned Jimmy Butler and you mentioned the vagaries and variances of the playoffs. Last round, I was saying Jimmy Butler won the whole thing with the Heat. Tonight's a pretty big one for Jimmy Butler.

The thing's going to fall on his head here if they need him to be playoff Jimmy. And my question to you is legitimately, can he?

From series to series, though, because if his season ends tonight, I was saying last round, Jimmy got it right, the Heat got it wrong. If you can do that 16 times, if he can stay healthy 16 times. You fast forward from seven seed to, of course, Steph and Jimmy can beat anybody four of seven games if Jimmy is right.

But part of the bet that Miami was making on Jimmy is we can't get him on the court all the time. He's not going to keep staying healthy at 35 because that kind of mileage, they're still talking. Bridges is an iron man, and they're still talking about Thibodeau running people into the ground. Jimmy Butler, however it is that science has changed, aging,

There's a lot of mileage on those odometers, and the pump fakes were starting last playoffs when he had to get shot up I don't know how many times in order to try and get into later rounds.

But my question to you is legitimately, can he, right? Because when we talked yesterday about Giannis,

I don't think you can really start a sentence where everyone's laughing, saying not to bring down the vibes, but someone you know died. And you're informing me of that because I didn't see it on the text.

No. Okay, this is his prime. Usually in basketball, the prime isn't at 30. Look, you just look at it.

In case things went awry in the country. Just in case, Zaslow. Just in case the Heat are bad, I have this Panther jersey. Just in case the Panthers are bad, I have a Heat jersey. Just in case one of the countries, I have citizenship in the other one. Just in case.

It's no shame in that. I know people in Santa Fe. You're right. There is no shame in that. There's no shame, but don't pretend you're a Gator if you're not a Gator.

If you're not a Gator, don't pretend you're a Gator.

So you didn't go there either? Where'd you go?

No, I had my ice catch.

Where were your fists, Chris? Where were your fists? Show me. Give me an example.

Oh, yeah.

You guys ever wonder when you're in an arena and you're jumping for joy, right? Because you're so excited and you're like... The engineers, they have to have planned for a lot of jumping. I think about this all the time. All the time, I think, how much jumping is too much jumping based on the structure here and what they planned for?

Did the engineers plan for a very successful hockey team 20 years after you built the arena and we're going to have a lot of jumping? And I'm assuming the average weight of the American has gone up in 20 years. So when you're planning this 20 years ago, are you thinking...

You know, an average American, you know, carry the two, whatever, probably like 250 for the average American and they're jumping. How long can they jump before we're not structurally sounding?

I really doubt Bill Belichick is uploading the photos on Instagram.

No, I think that some of these things, like, he's like, let's take this picture. It'll be fun. He's like, okay. And he has no thought as to where this is going to end up. And then all of a sudden, he's like, getting the news, like, the fisherman, like, mermaid. Like, oh, you guys have seen that one? You think he's learning? He does.

The Heat are just victims of their own mythology that they created, right? Which is championship culture. We're always in it. Banners. And we always get the guy. The Godfather closes all the deals, right? And then when he doesn't close the deals, it's like, well, that's the job. You don't always get everyone that you want.

It's like, but you've been telling me for 20 years now, we do get everyone that we want. And you got the big guys. Who's big?

You've been doing it down here.

Whale hunting, the Godfather. They're going to get a guy. You're a crank anchor. You're part of it. You're one of the anchors.

It's a question. So, like, to answer your question. Dan was going to report something a couple weeks ago, and then it ended up turning into this ice cream thing, but it was, like, very morbid in the morning. I'm telling you, it was like a funeral that day. Everyone was like, something bad is going on here behind the scenes.

And then last minute pivot, I don't know if we got new test results or something, but it's like, ice cream, not cookies. Everyone was confused. Amit was here. He remembers.

Went to the greenery and said, I can't be part of this meeting today. And we're like, whoa, Dan loves the meetings. He's in this meeting every single day. He's blowing this off. This has to be something serious. We all, like, in hushed tones were like... What did you expect it to be? That Pat was... Stepping down.

Not stepping down.

No, we started, yeah, because we started thinking like, oh my gosh, they named the court after him, the Lakers making a statue after him, like something's going on and all of a sudden everyone's honoring him out of the blue and now Dan is like very sad here and then boom, ice cream. And we're like, whoa, okay, well,

Yeah, I mean, Billy Joel doesn't come out and play new songs at his concert. It's my opinion. Piano Man, that's what he does. Billy Joel, you want the hits. Pearl Jam does whatever it wants.

Well, shouldn't he at least wait for them to trade him? No, just leave. Leave for nothing?

Yeah, like I think he meant specifically they lost 10 in a row and they still managed to make the playoffs.

I think we kind of knew that, or at least I felt going into the game yesterday, we were going to learn a little bit about this Heat team. What I mean by that is not that we're going to learn, oh, can they win the game? Okay, send the series back to Cleveland.

But we're going to learn a little bit about this version of the Heat because if you get down early, they all know they're not winning the series. Maybe they win the game, they're not winning the series. They know that, okay? So we're going to learn a little bit about this team where if they get down early, which...

Do they start thinking to themselves, all right, is it even worth trying to put a thousand percent effort to get back in this game than to just get on a plane for one more game and get killed in Cleveland? Like, we're going to learn a little bit about this team. And we did learn, which was, yeah, we don't really think it's worth the trouble. And that's the part that's different, right?

Well, that's also what's going to spark the change. The change that the fan base has wanted. I don't know that I want to sit here and do silver lining today, but losing that game by one point yesterday is not the way to go into the offseason.

The Heat fan has wanted this change, and now you've got Bam Adebayo sitting there post-game saying, the guy with the silver hair, he's going to make major change. It's like, yeah!

Did he hear my appearance as well?

I mean, didn't that also happen with Golden State when Steve Kerr took over from Mark Jackson?

At halftime, I ask myself, can they win by 100?

I saw at one point at halftime, the live odds were 40 and a half. I mean, obviously they ended up covering it, Cleveland, but can you imagine? You're looking like, yeah, I'm going to take minus 40 and a half. And you know what? You were a winner.

That doesn't make me late. I didn't go to the starting lineup in studio.

No, I was absolutely on my car phone. I wasn't in the studio with starting lineup.

My driver had me on speaker in the car.

What a night.

It's the best sport like that. Like what other sports do they still talk like that? It's why I've loved these NBA playoffs because the team seemed to be hating each other this year. But it's always like that with the hockey. They hate each other.

Bosh. Rebound Bosh. Back out to Allen. His three-pointer. Bang! Bang!

Why does Jimmy Butler after the game say, I found my joy, I got my joy back, as they say? No, not as they say. You said that, Jimmy.

Well, I don't think the Heat were saying they don't believe that he could do it for, you know, throughout this year's playoffs. They were saying he can't do it through the year 2028, right? Isn't that what the Heat were saying in getting rid of him?

Ich glaube nicht, dass jeder auf Kachuck ist. Aber ich würde sagen, ich... Ich freue mich wirklich auf Paul Maurice. Ich denke, er ist ein ungewöhnlich ehrliches Trainer, der in seinen Antworten extrem nachdenklich ist. Und er hat früher in dieser Serie, glaube ich, dass er durch die meisten der Tampa-Serie Kachuk nicht selbst war.

Er wollte immer noch total zurückkehren und sein Spiel finden, aber jetzt ist er es, laut seinem Hauptmann. Ich vertraue ihm. Ist er 100%? Nein, niemand ist dieses Mal im Jahr, blablabla. Aber ich denke, Kaczuk ist er selbst. Und wie du gesagt hast, Zaz, ich denke nicht, dass die Gewinne und die Verleihungen auf nicht 100% gesund sein können.

Ich glaube nicht, dass es letzte Nacht eine große Überraschung war. Und ich sage, dass es eine Anomalie war, was da passiert ist, was wir gesehen haben. Florida hat fünf oder mehr Tore in vier straight Playoff-Spielen gespielt. Nur das vierte Team in den letzten 30 Jahren, um das zu tun. Extraordinary. Und während der regelmäßigen Saison, das war nicht einer der höchsten scoring Teams in der Liga.

Also, ich denke, für sie, ein Spiel zu kämpfen, Das ist kein großer Schock. Es ist Hockey. Hockey ist Hockey. Das ist es. Ich möchte nicht überreaktieren zu diesem Verlust. Sie können in Carolina in ein paar Tagen zurückkommen und das Spiel gewinnen. Und niemand wird überrascht. Niemand.

Das ist genau richtig, weil Maurice sagte von Reinhardt, er sei nicht geklärt worden und er sei nicht ausgerufen worden. Er hätte gestern Abend spielen können, wenn sie in einer näheren Serie wären. They're up 3-1.

That's the Panthers' mantra, though. And back me up, Roy. Before every series... Go on. The Panthers... Quit saying go on. What are you... Vor jeder Serie sagen sie immer, dass sie sich für sieben Spiele vorbereiten. Das ist nur das Mantra der Panthers. Es gibt nichts Neues in dieser Serie.

They're good jokes.

Sie sind so gut, sie sind so schlecht, dass sie gut sind. So sehe ich sie. Du kannst weinen und lachen gleichzeitig. Am I right? For example, what does the custodian say when he suddenly comes out of the supply closet? You blew that joke. I know, I really did. The setup was bad. Supplies! Instead of surprise, he said, supplies! But I blew it. You shouldn't have put supplies. Supplies party.

I was going from memory.

I've been saying that for like 25 years. I credit your dad for that. You got it. You should. By the way, my granddaughter's graduation from grade school today, second grade, it's big. Not everybody graduates from second grade. There's a lot of first grade dropouts, so we're very proud of her for graduating. Didn't mean to derail your show. Yeah, you did. Yeah, you did.

With your self-involvement and your narcissism. Yeah, well, you brought up granddad. You know, proud to be a granddad. Any other granddads here?

Nein. Nein. Pat Riley. Er ist ein Großvater. Er ist. Ja. Und er ist hier. Das ist eine Kartoffel-Kutte. Oh, das ist es? Ja. So lebendig.

I think they are. I think some of them are very clever. Not the one that I bungled a minute ago, but generally speaking there. If I could remember any of the others, I'd recite another one.

Das wäre besser. Du hättest es in einem Kolosseum spielen müssen, nicht auf dem Platz. Du hast recht.

Just don't.

Math friends.

You mean my reaction or general reaction?

Of course they don't. I mean, why would they? No, I'm kidding, Zaz. You know that. I love you like a pet.

How does he know? That's ridiculous to say that. I mean, you have better than a 0 in 10,000 chance to win the lottery. Mathematisch kann man nicht immer sagen, dass man nur eine Chance hat, weil Scheiße passiert. Aber es ist auch fair zu sagen, dass die beiden oberen Teams das Recht haben, bei OKC in der Finale getrunken zu werden. Was wir hier sehen, ist SGA, der seinen MVP-Wert verurteilt hat.

Wir sehen die Gesichter der Liga aufstehen und wir sehen eine wachsende Dynastie. Der Seed für eine Thunder-Dynastie ist geplant. Ein junges Team, das in drei Jahren besser werden wird. Steht aus dem Weg, hier kommt OKC.

But doesn't he call farts pets? Yeah. I do. You know, that's open to interpretation. That's why I was trying to interpretate it.

Stand out of the way. Let me think about that. You could be right. Thank you. What should it have been though? Get out of the way.

I feel like I just invented a phrase that's not going to take root in the lexicon.

So do you love him like a fart or like Jumpin' Charlie?

I know.

Oh yeah, Bellamy's got that going on. That is smoking hot. The hockey show.

Not knowing who an Emmy is.

Salt and pepper shaker, what is that? Das ist genau so, wie es aussieht.

Well, you know, we expect seven game series. That's the Panther mantra that they say before every series. But I give Paul Maurice credit. He spent the first three games of that series saying, this is closer than the score makes it seem. And your friend the media and most fans were just like, 3-0, 16-4 combined score. Carolina's got no shot. Well, Paul Maurice won. Media nothing. He was right.

It's been closer than the score seems. And Carolina last night, I thought, I mean, Florida played terribly, but Carolina was the team we thought it would be. Hold on a second, though.

Thanks, man.

People like ribs. People are willing to take whatever the mess is. Just get some wipes. Ken Silvano says, he's full of shit. So who's more full of shit, you or Jimmy Butler?

Salute to him, Barrow.

Can we acknowledge how brown my hair is in that picture? I mean, look at that. That's a young man right there. Brown, huh?

I mean, best case scenario is Jimmy Butler missed the shot at the end of the game. He'd win.

Well, listen, I don't want to revisit that. That's not a good memory for me.

I don't like it. Yeah. And I didn't know where it's coming from, where they're singing these LeBron songs. What the hell's going on here, you know?

Thanks for the setup.

Is it just the subject of the song? Yeah, pretty much. And the lyrics, I just, I don't like it. Do you like Blink-182? No, and I don't like that song either. It's one of those overdone things. They played at hockey games and the crowd all sings. Yeah. It's lame.

Very.

I don't know. I didn't like that song. Thanks. Keep it real. Whatever. Not every song's a banger. No, I know. You're right. Yeah, no, I'm not.

I thought the first song was beautiful.

They should win the draft lottery.

Not if the Heat get that number one all-pick. You know about that culture?

It depends on the flavor. Turkey, meatball. I have a favorite cheese, and if I'm having a sub, why would I not want to have my favorite cheese on whatever sub I'm getting? So, yes.

Everything. Here's the thing.

Put some Munster on that, baby. Yeah, me too. Dan's trying to shame me here. It's weird that I love Munster cheese.

I don't know what I mean. And they scrape it onto your meal, right? Yeah. That's raclette.

It's like a French cheese. I like it better if it were Munster.

Thank you.

I go by Popo. Yeah.

Well, so Jimmy was asked with his media availability yesterday, amongst a bunch of questions, you know, essentially, when did you know that things were awry? Like, you know, he was like, you know, I knew at the end of last year. So back in May, you knew that we were at the point of no return. And he said, yes, I knew back then. Well, then why were we asking for an extension over the summer?

And Jimmy was also asked, if you sign the extension, if the Heat gave you the money, was this situation avoidable? And he said, flatly, no. So A, why did you ask for the extension when you knew things were done with? And B, he's just trying to make it sound like it's not about money when we know it's about money. It's only about money. It's always about money. So I think he's full of shit there.

But he's saying that even if they gave him the money, he was at the point of no return, that he didn't want to play there anymore. And I think that's nonsense.

All right, but the girl that I broke up with is in front of a microphone being asked questions. Coming over to your house tonight. And she looks great. By other people. She looks great, and you're so upset. I get it. Talking about me. Oh, but she's going to look like shit in two years.

What is wrong with the Heat having wanted him to play out the contract they gave him?

Look, that girl is going to look busted in a couple of years.

That right there is now – it was the worst moment of my sports fandom life at the time. It's now the second worst, but that is right after – that's in the bowels of the arena. I just got off doing the postgame show, a postgame where the Miami Heat – lost game five in the Eastern Conference Finals to Boston, and they fell down now three games to two. They were going to Boston now for game six.

We all know what happened there. LeBron, he had the eyes. He'd win the series. Amazing. But that right there, they fell behind three to two. And Sedano, I mean, like a snake. I'm sitting there with George Sedano. You see, I got a beer. I'm several beers deep at this point. And Sedano, he sneaks his phone and snaps a picture and he routinely shares it in a group chat. Very dirty move by Sedano.

I didn't even, I mean, look at me. Do I look like I'm posing for a picture?

Is that the group chat?

So like a snake George Sedano now. And that right there, at the time, it's not anymore. It's now the second lowest. But at the time, that was the lowest I had ever been over one of my teams. And yes, I thought they were going to lose.

He's a Pacific guy. He's so L.A. Yeah. I don't know what to tell you. He's a big-time L.A. guy.

But you know what to tell us. He's a big-time L.A. guy. I know what to tell you in regards to Sedano being an L.A.

I'm 305 till I die.

You're 954.

My cell phone's 305. That's what matters. You got me there. That's true. Everybody knows that.

Have you ever lived in Miami? Of course, I grew up there. I'm from North Miami Beach. Come on now. NMB Senior High. What? What? What did you say?

Orlando, basically. That's not Miami, by the way.

That's the OG mall, 163rd Street. Yeah. Come on now. What are you doing? It's OG Mall, Dan. I'm repping 305 is what I'm doing. I don't know what you're doing. What are you doing?

No that's not that's not true at all the only thing that was correct was the medical situation

That's not what happened? No. He had that block, and he did the freak out on the ground. Great moment. Game six, 2006. That block, wow. Wow.

Okay, what fan base, I want to hear the fan base that is, eh, you know what, they take criticism really well. It's not criticism. No, but you're saying that when the Heat are criticized, that the fan base is very sensitive. I want to know the fan base that's like, yeah, you know what, we're good with being criticized, no big deal.

I was like, yeah, yeah, we're bad.

Yeah. Otto Lopez?

That lineup is a vomit.

I was not a nice person. And he certainly knew about it. I know that he knew about it. All right. And I knew there was going to be a reckoning.

When I started to work... At ESPN Radio... A day is going to come... Because I don't book the guests... Like the producers book the guests... You know... And there's going to be a day where... Hey... We're going to have Brian Windhorst on today... And I'm like... Oh crap... So that day came... You know... And I'm going to have to deal with this... In some fashion... And I don't know him personally at all... So I have no idea... How this is going to go down... And I actually sent a text message... To another co-worker... And I said... Listen...

I don't know how I should handle this. Should I call Windhorst right now and just be like, do a whole mea culpa, or are we just going to do this on the air?

Well, yeah. First of all, it was never anything personal. I never said anything personal about him. Did I mean the things where I would say that he hates the Heat and has a bias against the Heat? Yeah, I meant those at the time. Sure I did. I didn't know how it was going to come off On ESPN radio. I thought maybe I should call him in advance.

Like, hey, listen, I'm not like a total a-hole, you know.

Well, I will say that he was he he was totally good about it. I didn't even have to do a whole deal explaining myself. He's very professional. I ask him basketball questions. He answers to the best of his ability. But that was the one where I was like, man, a total pro.

Total pro.

I'm dopey. He's a total pro, and it obviously showed. He's at the top of the list of people.

We'll see if we can extract them over the course of— Well, Skip Bayless is not there anymore, so he would be right up there also. Did Windy know who you were? Definitely. Oh, okay. He knew that my show had him in the Tool of the Week Hall of Fame, all right? There was a banner hanging in my studio with him hanging from the rafters.

Right. That's what I'm saying. It was sponsored. Who was the sponsor? I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Instead of earning it. Earned, not given. You've heard that before, right? Earned, not given.

Thank you. Thank you.

I just said you bought it. That is a shocking accusation. That's very... That's not how I expect to start a Tuesday. I thought I was coming in here. I thought everybody's feeling good about themselves. I thought we're going to be all over the heat's tip tonight because Jimmy Butler is here and he's part of the enemy. I'm just saying, all right?

Thank you. Thank you.

I thought we were all on the same page, and that is a heavy accusation.

Thank you.

You know, let's just put it this way, all right? Everybody knows that if their house caught fire in the middle of the night, we all have that one thing that we would grab on the way out. And the box with my rings in it. That's right, rings, plural. Plural. The box with my rings in it. That's what I'd be grabbing. So the best way to answer that question is, priceless, baby.

Birth certificate. You can get another.

No problem. I can't go to the championship ring store and get another one with Zaslow engraved on it. No. But I can go to the birth certificate store.

That's insulting.

Earned. I stole it. How do you steal something with your name on it? It has my name on it.