Zoe Kurland

I've heard my dad say this before, but this is the first time it really clicked for me.

In Erin Brockovich, the bra was more than a bra.

It was a place that this amazing performance of confidence, ease, paralegalic badassery could radiate out from.

The message is clear.

I need to buy a push-up bra.

Thankfully, to get this kind of bra now, one does not have to enlist my dad.

Obsessed.

Many thanks to the slew of influencers, mostly Australian for some reason, who turned me on to the latest in bra technology.

Kim Kardashian's underwear brand, Skims, has apparently picked up where Jeffrey Kurland left off.

I placed my order online.

$58 plus shipping.

it comes in this kind of chic frosted plastic bag it's like so modest it's like oh what's inside what's inside is this sort of pearlescent nude bra it's very smooth it's very soft it looks like barbie boobs

The bra is sort of sexy, but also deeply sanitary, like your skin, but also not.

It's pretending to be something essential and corporeal.

You, but better!

Exclamation point.

Okay, I'm going to try it on.

I will take you with me to do so.

Okay, I'm walking over to the mirror.

Nope.