Ep 3 – L Bonita Patterson, CEO of Polaris: Communicating When Things Heat Up

Learn more about Michael Wenderoth, Executive Coach: www.changwenderoth.com   SHOW NOTES L Bonita Patterson, CEO of Polaris Consulting Group, shares how to manage your emotions and communicate in heated situations – perhaps the hardest and most important skill to master. We discuss how to balance tasks and relationships, and she provides practical approaches and phrases when things get emotional. Working with or through others -- many of whom we may not see eye to eye with -- is critical to our success in organizations, particularly the higher we rise. How communications get tricky when things heat up Where people have the biggest challenge The first step and question to ask yourself so you can get to a position of “emotional neutrality” Ways to bide time and turn the heat down, without feeling like you are entering a prolonged awkward silence Practical tips and phrases when engaging someone you really detest “Tailor” your message by knowing your audience, the context -- and based on the power dynamic  The secret sauce: first connect with people’s emotions (“Meet them where they are”) Being intentional but balancing the tension: instead of “Task vs Relationship”, the power of “Task AND Relationship” Being clear and direct -- but leaving people whole Navigating a very sensitive conversation – Bonita shares how to handle a real situation, when colleague “Sally” dropped an insensitive racial remark On vulnerability without looking weak: using more “emotionally neutral” words and phrases, being specific and direct, and pointing out the impact others may not realize they are having How humors lightens thing up, and can help people learn Neuroscience findings that support her recommendations -- and what she would add in a second edition of her book How the pandemic has surfaced our “Line of sight” leadership deficiency – highlighting why we need to get much better at connecting to people, which starts with becoming a better listener BIO AND LINKS: Bonita is CEO of Polaris Consulting Group.biz and an Executive Leadership Catalyst who focuses on transforming individuals, teams, and workplaces. Her strength as a leadership coach, consultant, and facilitator lies in her expertise in rapid change and her understanding of interpersonal and organizational complexities. Bonita has authored the books Communication Under Fire and Emotional Intelligence in Action. With high energy and an engaging style, Bonita has a rare ability to impart very practical lessons learned in her consulting practice - and the 20+ years in executive management and leadership roles in Fortune 100, mid-size, and entrepreneurial companies.  Her email: bonita [at] polarisconsulting.biz Her website: https://polarisconsulting.biz/about-us LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lbonita/  Her post on the sensitive conversation with Sally: http://www.linkedin.com/pulse/ouch-tricky-conversation-l-bonita-patterson/ Links to her books, Communication Under Fire: How to Talk When Things Heat Up; and Emotional Intelligence in Action https://polarisconsulting.biz/bio-%26-appearances  Bonita and Michael’s talk at Stanford: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=YW-xGer46AU&noapp=1  Michael’s Book, Get Promoted: https://changwenderoth.com/#tve-jump-180481ecea3  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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