How to Be Your True Self: Family, Sexuality & Mental Health | Hilton da Silva | A Bunch of Therapists Podcast | Episode 17

This episode contains discussion around mental health in the family, bipolar disorder, coming out, and psychosexual therapy. 🎧 Join us for a wide-ranging and fascinating conversation with psychosexual and relationship counsellor Hilton da Silva as he shares his journey from Brazil to London, navigating family mental health challenges, and finding freedom to be his authentic self. This honest and inclusive discussion explores how early experiences with mental health in the family shaped Hilton's path to becoming a specialist in psychosexual and relationship work, offering valuable insights for people in relationships of all kinds. Hosted by: Michaela McCarthy (Founder of The Awareness Centre, The Awareness Centre Training School, and Creator and Host of A Bunch of Therapists Podcast. Senior BACP Accredited Psychotherapist and Influential Leader) and Dipti Solanki (Therapist, Coach & Consultant, Mental Health Trainer and Founder of Grief Matters 4 All CIC). In this compelling episode, Hilton openly shares: • Growing up in Brazil and experiencing mental health problems in his family from a young age • How his brother's bipolar disorder and erratic behaviour impacted the entire family • Moving to live with a relative as a teenager due to family circumstances • Finding his way as a queer person and the challenges of growing up LGBTQIA+ • His decision to move to London where he felt freer to be his true self • Training to become a therapist and specialising in psychosexual and relationship work • Supporting clients with sexual dysfunction, shame, intimacy, and communication issues • Working as Team Leader for Wandsworth Talking Therapies This essential conversation offers inclusive and sound advice for people in every sort of relationship, however they identify, and valuable insights into how personal experiences can inform therapeutic specialisation. 🔍 Key Topics Discussed: • The impact of family mental health challenges on young people • Navigating cultural and family expectations around sexuality and identity • Finding freedom and authenticity through geographical change • How psychosexual and relationship therapy works in practice • Supporting clients with sexual dysfunction and intimacy issues • Addressing shame and communication problems in relationships • Conflict avoidance and its impact on relationships • Creating inclusive therapeutic spaces for all relationship types • The connection between personal healing and professional calling Chapters: 00:00 Intro  1:15 Why Hilton went to therapy & his brother's journey to being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder  06:54 Hilton’s decision to move away as a teenager  09:35 Hilton’s experience as a gay, cisgender man living in Brazil and hiding his sexuality as a teenager  10:13 How Hilton’s mum discovered his sexuality  11:35 The fear of being asked to leave your home because your sexuality isn’t accepted  12:10 Hilton’s first experience of therapy at 33 13:00 Why Hilton came to London  14:07 Hilton’s unexpected journey to becoming a therapist  15:30 Hilton’s best therapist & the importance of finding the right therapist as being part of a marginalised community 16:17 How Hilton knew he was gay & dating girls  17:29 Making LGBTQ+ friends & the freedom they feel to be open in London 18:52 Transphobic crime in Brazil  20:00 Hilton’s journey to training to become a therapist  21:32 Hilton’s marriage to a fellow therapist  22:24 What is Psychosexual Therapy  22:47 Vagnismus 24:26 Couple’s Therapy common challenges   25:05 Relationship Problems 25:38 The benefit of going to therapy  27:38 Avoidant-Conflict  28:24 How Hilton works now  30:15 Working with the LGBT community, keeping up with the younger generation & different identities 32:20 The most common issue that people bring into the therapy room with Hilton  34:00 Hilton’s final message for listeners  35:15 Outro          🎬 Watch full episodes of A Bunch of Therapists on our YouTube channel 🎧 A Bunch of Therapists is available on all major podcast platforms 🗓️ New episodes every Thursday Follow A Bunch of Therapists on Social Media: YouTube: @ABunchofTherapistsTV TikTok: @a.bunch.of.therapists Instagram: @abunchoftherapists Facebook: A Bunch of Therapists LinkedIn: A Bunch of Therapists #TherapyUK #PsychosexualTherapy #LGBTQTherapy #RelationshipTherapy #MentalHealthUK #SexTherapy #TherapyTraining #InclusiveTherapy

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