How to Break Free from Toxic Relationships: Boarding School Trauma, Attachment & Healing | Dr Jane Halsall | A Bunch of Therapists Podcast | Episode 20

This episode contains discussion around boarding school experiences, grief, attachment trauma, addiction, and toxic relationships. 🎧 Join us for a profound and insightful conversation with Counselling Psychologist Dr Jane Halsall as she shares her transformative journey from career change to specialising in grief and attachment, uncovering how early boarding school experiences shaped her ability to trust and form meaningful relationships. This honest and enlightening discussion explores how personal therapy can reveal hidden trauma, and why understanding our attachment patterns is crucial for breaking free from toxic relationship cycles. Hosted by: Michaela McCarthy (Founder of The Awareness Centre, The Awareness Centre Training School, and Creator and Host of A Bunch of Therapists Podcast. Senior BACP Accredited Psychotherapist and Influential Leader) and Dipti Solanki (Therapist, Coach & Consultant, Mental Health Trainer and Founder of Grief Matters 4 All CIC). In this compelling episode, Dr Halsall openly shares: • Her mid-twenties career pivot from her original path to studying Psychology • Training in Addiction Counselling and working at a women-only rehab facility • How witnessing trauma in others revealed her own unresolved issues • The profound impact of boarding school on her ability to trust and form relationships • Using personal therapy to understand her own attachment patterns • Specialising in grief and attachment as a Counselling Psychologist • Working with clients who struggle to form and maintain relationships • The psychology behind toxic relationships and why they're so difficult to escape • The art of sitting with yourself and developing self-awareness • Practical insights for breaking destructive relationship patterns This essential conversation offers valuable guidance for anyone struggling with relationship difficulties, trust issues, or the lasting effects of early separation and institutional experiences. 🔍 Key Topics Discussed: • The long-term psychological impact of boarding school experiences • How early separation affects adult attachment and relationships • Recognising and addressing unresolved trauma through therapy • Understanding the psychology of toxic relationships • Why we repeatedly find ourselves in harmful relationship patterns • The role of grief in attachment and relationship healing • Developing the capacity to sit with difficult emotions • Career transitions and finding your therapeutic calling • Using personal experience to inform professional specialisation • Practical strategies for building healthier relationship patterns Chapters: 00:00 Intro  01:03 How Jane found herself in the world of therapy  02:36 Jane’s placement in a women’s only rehab centre 05:01 Treatment centres being geared towards men  05:44 Jane’s own challenges surfacing  08:10 Jane’s experience at boarding school 10:30 Struggling to fit in, bullying and feeling isolated 11:40 Attachment Style and being ‘hard’ in relationships 12:50 Is everyone traumatised? 13:40 The traits of being traumatised 15:34 Feeling guilty about being privileged and traumatised 16:26 How Jane’s family & friends viewed her going to therapy  17:56 What Jane has learnt from the world of therapy  18:34 Grief and the different types of loss 21:30 Is phone use and social media problematic? 22:35 How working with grief has changed Jane as a person and as a single parent  24:26 Toxic relationships and the subtle changes  26:30 Attachment styles  28:16 Family trauma and recreating patterns 32:04 Jane’s final message to viewers and listeners 33:30 Outro  🎬 Watch full episodes of A Bunch of Therapists on our YouTube channel 🎧 A Bunch of Therapists is available on all major podcast platforms 🗓️ New episodes every Thursday Follow A Bunch of Therapists on Social Media: YouTube: @ABunchofTherapistsTV TikTok: @a.bunch.of.therapists Instagram: @abunchoftherapists Facebook: A Bunch of Therapists LinkedIn: A Bunch of Therapists #TherapyUK #AttachmentTherapy #ToxicRelationships #BoardingSchoolTrauma #GriefTherapy #CounsellingPsychology #RelationshipTherapy #MentalHealthUK #TherapyTraining

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