Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights, and fan-selected clips from all 17 years of The Adam Corolla Show.
If you'd like to access the entire archive of The Adam Corolla Show, as well as The Adam and Dr. Drew Show, and the newer podcast, Beat It Out, make sure to check out Adam Corolla's sub-stack, adamcorolla.substack.com. Sign up, subscribe, listen ad-free. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us, classicsatadamcorolla.com. Now on to the clips.
Coming up first, we have Adam Corolla Show 714, featuring Alonzo Bowden, Alison Rosen, and Brian Bishop from 2011. Check it out.
Hello, and welcome to PlutoFo. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV, where all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long. Catch Anchorman, The Legend of Ron Burgundy.
Fantastic.
Men in Black 1 through 3.
That's what I'm talking about.
Titanic. I'm the king of the world. And so much more. For showtimes, press nothing. They're free 24-7. That is so fetch.
On Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never. Sorry, my voice is blown out. I just got back from a crazy tour. Me and Mike August traveling around. Eat more pussy. Yeah, yeah, we did. Traveling around like Steve Martin and John Candy.
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Chapter 2: What challenges did the hosts face during their shows?
And by the way, sold out like a thousand seater in Detroit. Good, good times. Yeah. snowing in Denver, like just knowing just that Denver snow walked home from the club. The guy's like, you want to ride home from the theater? And we're like, no, no, we're walking back. We love it. Like it was just put the jacket up, put the hood up and just had that snow coming down. Yes. Yes.
That crunching sound underneath the feet just felt awesome, man. What can I tell you? Oh, yeah. So the whole time I was gone, I kept getting these reports about Glenn Beck is taking your Occupy Wall Street thing and he's gone nuts with it and it's all over the Internet and everyone's making a big deal of it. You were like the number one trending topic on Google Trends or Yahoo or something.
Yeah, I didn't know what to do, because I was in a hotel room in Detroit the whole time, and I didn't know what to... I'm not good with the technology. What are you going to do? Yeah, I could barely turn the TV set on. By the way, number one sign you're in a bad hotel room... When the TV set screen faces the side of the bed, not the end of the bed, but the side of the bed, bad sign.
And when you turn the TV off and then you go out and do the gig and you come back and turn it on again, it's on the same channel. See, when you're in a nice hotel, it's... Welcome screen. You get that. Welcome to the Four Seasons. If you like movies, action, adult, you know, you get that thing. But if it's still on Channel 13, that's a bad sign.
But again, the screen facing the long side of the bed. Never a good thing. Always find yourself propped on the bed in some weird direction with your feet hanging halfway off the edge.
I'm trying to think if I've ever even seen that. That means the room is so small that they stick it inside.
It's just shitty hotel. Oh, yeah. If you go to Courtyard by Marriott or something, you just go to shitty. They'll put.
It's not even small. Sorry to interrupt you. It's an odd layout. You know what I mean? It's squeezed in.
People have gotten bigger since the hotel's not been renovated. It's all configuration. It's usually your feet are at the end of the bed. There'll be like a sliding door and a balcony with a parking lot. On that side. On this side, on the left side, has the bureau with the TV on it. And you can turn the TV to kind of face you while you're lying on your smelly comforter. So it was a lot of that.
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Chapter 3: How does Adam's experience in South Philly reflect on his upbringing?
He didn't start with a silver spoon in his mouth or any of that shit. He's an Egyptian guy. He's smart. He busts his ass. And he works five jobs. And he adapts. He had a company that built sets. And he built all these big elaborate sets. And the work dried up. It started just going CGI. Everything was done on a computer now. No one took these big elaborate sets for these commercials anymore.
So now he builds these custom wine racks and bars and things like you'd find at the Foga de ChĆ£o. We'll talk about that in a second. All right. He adapted. He took his ability to build and mainly his work ethic and he steered it toward another market as he saw this one was going bad. You know, probably had to let a few employees go. He doubled down on his hours. The economy got shitty.
The work dried up. But yet he had adapted and he's still working. But he busts his ass. Now, why wasn't he held down? He's got a fucking crazy name. He's 10 shades darker than me and Ray. Why wasn't he held down? Yet no ovaries. And no ovaries. One, possibly. I don't know if it's his. All right. Should we listen to what... Now, I haven't heard any of this stuff. I've not seen any of it.
I've not heard any of it. I don't... Get ready. I don't... Mike August the whole time was like, oh, man, do you see what's going on on Google or whatever? What's going on on YouTube and all that stuff? And I was just like.
Sounds like you're calling him directly, by the way.
Yeah. I didn't. I didn't. I realize I don't like it. I'm uncomfortable with it. With this attention? I just want to get through my life. You know what I mean? It's like you chose the wrong profession for that. Well, I don't give a shit about me. It's great news for the rest of us. I just don't care. I'll see something I don't like and then I won't like.
I just rather pretend like it doesn't exist. I just move on. So I haven't looked at any of this stuff. I was incommunicado for four days during all this because I couldn't work anything. And I know I had my iPad, but I'm not going to Google Glenn Beck and find me. I don't know why. I don't know. What's wrong with me?
Like everyone said, oh, Glenn Beck was talking a bunch of great things about you, and I have no idea what he said. Does it make you uncomfortable? Like to sit there and actually listen to it, would it make you uncomfortable? It's partially ā yes, it's partially that. It's partially ā Having somebody say, Glenn Beck is saying great things about you is sort of good enough. Right.
Like, all right, we're done. Yeah, like it might start, it might create more questions and dissatisfaction and unease in your head if you actually know specifically what he said.
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Chapter 4: What cultural perspectives are explored in this segment?
That was that was in the 70s.
We so I guess it makes sense. But it's weird that each culture gets has their own take. I mean, you go, that's a Japanese guy with that car. And that's a Mexican guy with that car. It's a black dude.
But you know what that was? It was drag racing. Which if you're, you know, if you live in a city, you're not going to be cornering. Right. I mean, we like we didn't have a Mulholland drive to race on. Right. You had you had the street.
So you built bikes to drag race because that was the type of racing that you found. Alonzo, a true American success story, came out here from New York after going to like an aviation high school. and got recruited by Lockheed to come out in the San Fernando Valley. He was a young man and worked at Lockheed and worked on all the cool stuff, right?
Worked on the stealth fighters, worked on private jets. Yeah, definitely got to work on some very cool stuff. Got to spend time with the SR-71? No, I didn't get to work on the Blackbird. Well, not work on it, but you saw it, right? I saw it. Also the name of Alonzo's penis, the Blackbird. Yeah, well, they travel at the same speed.
I'm not bragging.
I'm just saying.
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Chapter 5: What was Alonzo's journey before becoming a comedian?
That is the hottest thing ever created by a human being. Unbelievable. He said that while looking at your penis.
And I'm comfortable with that. Because I'm doing what it takes to move up to number one. And if I've got to take a little visual abuse to be number one, I'm alright with that.
Yeah, I mean, don't let me put words in your mouth or urethra, but seriously, the SR-71, the greatest achievement of man ever, really. And they never declassified how fast it is.
They always just say Mach 3+. Right. And I've heard Mach 5. I don't know. Really?
I do remember a test pilot saying that he overshot an air-to-air refueling in New Mexico, and they said the next shot was over Florida, and he said, I'll be there in 20 minutes.
Insane. Like, literally faster than a bullet. Yeah, they had to redesign missiles.
The plane was so fast, it could not fire a missile because it was faster than the missiles.
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Chapter 6: How does the discussion shift to the impact of celebrity culture?
So they had to redesign the missiles... Otherwise, he'd have launched them and then he'd have shot himself.
It's an unbelievable aircraft because it was really designed in the 50s, 60s, built in the 60s. I mean, it was not all the computers and technology that we have now. It was built back in the day. It was one guy. It was a guy named Kelly Johnson. Kelly Johnson.
This guy was an unbelievable genius.
Hold on. You guys don't have a picture of this thing we've been talking about for 18 minutes? Thank you.
The fastest aircraft, the highest flying aircraft. And he had a lot to do with the stealth design, with beating radar. And it's one guy who worked for Lockheed from the 60s to the 80s.
Well, probably from the late 50s up until close to 1980. The Kelly Johnson thing was interesting because he was the first guy who wanted to do the delta wing, just the flying triangle, just like the flying bat wing. And everyone sort of laughed at him, said, no, you don't make an airplane that way. And they didn't have the technology to really pull it off back in the day.
But he was always like, that's the future. And everyone's like, ah, get out of here, old man. And then when the stealth stuff came around, that's basically his whole design. Yeah, the bomber. The bomber was the flying wing. The fighter, which Lockheed built, that was the one that had all the weird angles on it. So you guys built the bomber? We built the fighter. Oh, built the fighter.
We built the fighter. And the big thing with that was the bumblebee can't fly. That's what we built. From an aerodynamic standpoint, like a bee's wings are not big enough for it to fly. Well, it's the same thing with that.
From any aerodynamics, that plane shouldn't fly. What did you work on on that plane? I worked on all the hydraulics. So I worked on all the control surfaces, the landing gear. Control surfaces are like the flaps and the rudders and the stuff you see moving when the plane's coming into land or takeoff or whatever. Brakes.
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Chapter 7: What humorous tips does Andy Dick share about milkshakes?
The sidecar. And he left about an inch and a half at the bottom of it. Yep. And he squirts a little whipped cream. I mean, you can suck away on yours, but you always know that's like your auxiliary tank. Right. You have a spare. You have a spare. You're running low on shake. You can go to it. And I always hit the bottom of it a little bit, you know, just to make sure it all slides down.
You ever been to Cafe 50s here in L.A.? Yeah. They do that. They have like a 50 milkshake menu. Right. And they always give you the extra and the two.
The malted is nice because the malt is its own flavor. Now, I'll give you a tip, everybody. And I haven't done it in years, but I swear I'm going to do this once I get that role where I play Robert De Niro getting fat. This is, we'll call it Raging Boar. It's about him being interviewed and being super boring. So... That'd be a good headline for... Raging war.
Well, you know, like, you know, De Niro does a bad appearance on Letterman or something, and then the New York Post comes out. Yeah. All right. I love that. So let me give you guys a tip. I used to go to a place called Swenson's, and I don't think Swenson's exists anymore, but they used to be around. And I would order, like, a... Now...
The root beer float is awesome, except for the consistency is not as good as a shake. The notion of the root beer flavor is awesome, but the shake is a much better consistency. The root beer is the root beer with the ice cream floating in the top. It always gets a little foamy. It's good for the first 10 minutes, and then it gets weird.
It gets weird, and you have two different substances trying to mate. It doesn't really work. Let me give you guys a fucking tip of the lifetime. Are you sitting?
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Chapter 8: How does Andy Dick describe his experience with the film industry?
Yes. Is your imagination unreal? Uh-huh. My vag is in my vibe still. Go to the malt shop and ask for a sarsaparilla shake, which is they'll take... Sarsaparilla is root beer. It just tastes like root beer. So they'll take vanilla ice cream and they'll make you a shake, but they'll dump in the sarsaparilla. So it tastes just like root beer, but it's the consistency of a malt or a shake.
That is fucking hardcore. Sarsaparilla. It's a lot of things. It's not hardcore. And it's old school. No, it is. It's edgy. It's edgy. You're pushing the envelope on normal orders at a malt shop. Yeah, it's like you just walked into a Western bar and asked for a Sarsaparilla. Man, I just had a little drop of semen come out of me.
Thank God it was little.
When you walked into the room, there was voodoo in the bed. God, they're a shitty band. You know your nutmeg argument about how nutmeg is only paired with eggnog? I'm saying no one has ever announced where's the nutmeg at any other time other than when there was eggnog present. I offer, I submit, potentially, for your consideration. Custard pie? No. No, no.
I think I've seen some on a custard pie, perhaps. Is that true? Yeah, I think nutmeg goes on custard. Am I making that up? No, you're not. Well, a custard pie is sort of like an eggnog pie, right? Yes, yes. All right, but go ahead. This is a parallel argument. Malt and shakes. When else does anyone need malt? You don't. I mean, except for your balls.
They used to have malt, like Quick would make chocolate powder, and they would also make malt. powder. Do you guys remember that? Yeah, it was in the store by the Ovaltine. Everything I remember, I remember, oh yeah, John Tyler's mom used to buy that. It was always somebody, you know, oh, Chris had Stratego. Oh, Ray had fill in the blank.
You know, I remember from other people's houses, the Corollas would never buy any brand name, anything, especially if it tasted good. But there was Malt, I think, Quick or Nestle or whoever made it. Carnation. Carnation, yeah, you're right. Carnation made the powdered milk. Swiss Miss.
I remember even being as poor and as white trashy as I was, I turned my nose up at powdered milk when I was, you know, 11. I was like, if you can't fucking afford milk, don't have fucking pull out. Would you, cheapos? Really? Powdered milk. Are we in a fucking, is there a war? Is there a war going on? There it is. Malted milk. Do yourselves a favor, people. Make a malt.
Get some ice cream and dump some of that malted milk in the blender there. And then just let me imagine. Then add sarsaparilla and release a drop of semen. Where do you get sarsaparilla? Can you get little vials of sarsaparilla? I think they keep it in some kind of vault in the back. Yeah, I feel like it would come in a tiny barrel. What does sarsaparilla come in?
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