Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast where we put the best moments, highlights, and fan-selected clips from all 17 years of The Adam Corolla Show. We have a companion podcast titled Corolla Classics. Check out podcast1.plus. There you'll find the ad-free archives.
And to access the ad-free archives of The Adam Corolla Show, The Adam and Dr. Drew Show, as well as the podcast Beat It Out, make sure to check out Adam Corolla's sub-stack, adamcorolla.substack.com. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us, classicsatadamcorolla.com. Now on to the clips. Coming up first today, we have Adam Corolla Show 1851.
This episode is featuring Paul Scheer, Vinnie Tortorich, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop from 2016. Hope you guys enjoy. Gina Grad, good day. Good day to you. And bald Brian. That's right. Hear some stories. How'd you fly through customs that fast? Oh, Vinnie Tortorich is here. Good to see you, Vinnie. I've been thinking about this a little bit.
And Chris, I think I sound a little weird, but not horribly weird. But Dawson's still, his flight probably just landed. I got a million stories to tell, Airbnb complaints, all sorts of stuff. Brian was in- Kauai. Kauai. Kauai. It's my push-pull argument. Do we need a Hawaii and a Kauai and how much confusion- There's a Molokini? Yeah. All right. There's only 13 letters in the Hawaiian alphabet.
They got to stretch them pretty thin. We got all that. Paul Scheer's out there. Gina was in Cabo. Yeah, Gina was in Cabo. And I just feel like we should just get to that next time we meet in studios. Everyone have all their stories lined up. I got stories chambered. All their... Travel stories chambered because I got a million of them, too, but I don't want to give a short shrift. Vinny is here.
Vinny's got a book, and it's Fitness Confidential. I listened to the audio version of it, and it'll change your life. Gina Grad is down 20, 25. It's hard. Vacation's hard. Well, actually, it was pretty easy. Vacation was just, you know, fajitas and vegetables and stuff, but I'm still toggling right around 20, but I'm happy with that. Good. You should be. Thank you.
We'll play a fit or BS with Vinny in a couple of few. Vinny's also doing a show, Ice House. That's coming up July 14th. I hear the sales are brisk. That's what I'm hearing, too.
I was told by Mike, he says, hey, your first time out, if you get 30 seats filled, and we went right past 30 to 40, and I don't know where it is now because Mike has been out of town with you, but yeah, people keep tweeting that they're coming, and I'm excited about it, and I'm looking forward to it. And I think you realize I'm not a comedian. Vinny, you're trying to sell tickets. Come on.
I'm not a comedian. Pat is going to be playing there as well. Right. I'm going to be opening up. Oh, he's got a couple of refunds. All right. A couple of phone calls and we'll play a little game with Vinny. And like I said, I have so much to talk to you guys about that. And everyone does. So we'll just we'll just save it for the next show. Let's see. Tom, 30, Florida. Ace, man, welcome back.
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Chapter 2: How do the hosts share their travel experiences?
And I don't know if you have an opinion on that. Well, you know, what Snoop Dogg is to weed, Michael Jackson is to crazy. Nobody ever goes, oh, wow, boy, you should see how high my eyebrows raise right now that I found that fetish porn. Weirdest thing. There's nothing on the, it's actually kind of a shrewd move, which is like early on in your career, you try to buy the elephant man's bones.
Right. And then you sleep in a hyperbaric chamber. You take a chimpanzee to the Grammys. Right, right. And then McCulloch Culkin. The next thing you know, whatever goes on after that just falls under weird. Right. It doesn't fall under macabre, sexual or deviant or criminal. It's now all just part of your weirdness. Bill Simmons calls out the Tyson zone.
You get the Tyson zone, you can do whatever you want. You know, tigers and whatever. Yeah. So, but it's funny. I was listening. Do we have man in the mirror? I was complaining about that in London. Find it. We were driving out of London and we're passing like Buckingham Palace. That's not even a tool tune, man. And this song came on the van that was driving us.
And I was thinking about Mike and I thought he probably should have took a longer look in the mirror when he was writing this song. He's going to make that change. But also, list how many of his short little that's and oohs are in the beginning. I'm going to make a change for once and for all. I see. You would not have this if I was the engineer. Because I'd be like, what?
It goes a long way, Mike. Where were you, Quincy? Yeah, the hiccups? I see little kids in the street. All right, so he should have looked in the sound mirror, but wasn't crying in there. Are there no Shamones in this song? I think there might be. There's one at the end, and then the breakdown at the end.
From what I understand, and Tom, maybe you know better, some pretty violent child pornography images. And bestiality, correct? Tom? Yes, it was Barry, yeah.
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Chapter 3: What insights does Vinny provide about fitness?
Was he involved in it, or just... I think he was a collector, an appreciator, a horrible way to put it. Yeah, yeah. Horrible. Here's what... Although, can we just start... You know, it was funny, I was talking to...
mike uh august about uh just a little glimpse like this whole thing where we have these adages like you really got to get to know the guy no you don't you just need one little glimpse into their psyche i was having fun with mike because we're laughing about uh mike dawson and the time you gotta get another guy the lisa lobe the time i was just thinking about that it
It's the greatest story ever where he just showed up at the radio station and he went like, you know, you hear I'm going out with Lisa Loeb tonight or something? I went, you are? And he went, yeah. And I said, you're going out with Lisa Loeb? She's hot. She's rich. She's young. She's got a Grammy. And he was like, yeah. And I said, how's that work? How do you know Lisa Loeb? And he said, I don't.
And I said, well, how is it you're going out with her? She's coming in today, right? And I said, yep. And he went, she's single. Yeah. She's got a show about being single. Well, she comes in, she's single. I ask her out, and then we go out. I'm single. That's a big set of rocks and slugs. Poor Dawson's not here to defend himself. I don't know if he would defend that.
I'd like to be a little bit more like Dawson. But here's all I'm saying. That's Dawson's psyche. You don't need a hundred examples. That's how we think. I got to know. Did they go out? Hell, of course they did go out. They've been happily married for 11 years. Yes. They have so many musical little prodigies running around the house. No. She said no, but... Can you imagine a voice on that kid?
Oh, yeah. But in terms of... Like, if I find something on your computer that's got this, that's enough. I only need to see, like, one image. Like, if you're into it, you're into it. I don't need to sit back and look at your entire pornography career or whatever else you're into. The people that are into this are into it, and the people that aren't aren't sort of peeking through the window of it.
It's not like I sit around, like, every other Wednesday and go... I wonder if today's the day I really take the plunge into child pornography. Some stuff is kind of interesting out there. It's not like what people do with cigars, where they don't really smoke cigars, and then one of their friends introduces them to a good Cuban, and they go, I kind of enjoy this. Where has this been all my life?
They're reading a magazine that they're learning about. Schwarzenegger's on the cover. It's not that. You're either in or you're out, and if you're out, you're a million miles out. It's not even one of those, well, now that I have kids. No, way before I had kids, it was always a million miles away. Yeah, and speaking of that, Mark Salling, remember, Puck from Glee, the show Glee?
He's out on $150,000 bail right now for the same thing. So the deal is, I'm not surprised, but Michael is, he'll be missed. But wait, I got to ask one more question about this. Yes. Okay. Michael Jackson dies. Yes. The first thing you do is check his penis for the Vigalago, Vitiligo. Right. That's number one. You look at that, right? Yeah. We get that.
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Chapter 4: What news stories are being overlooked by mainstream media?
I was like, oh, I got to get some news on this. Nothing. The news channels, but they weren't covering that. They were covering the weird little parliament. They're always into this parliament thing wherever you are. And there's nothing worse as a foreigner to watch. Just like you're watching foreign C-SPAN. Yes. Yeah. All right. Sorry. Well, this this woman's name is Star Swain.
She was one of many tourists visiting the memorial when her travel companion kept coaxing her to sing the national anthem. She was a little hesitant at first, but after some persistent badgering, she finally gave in. She belted it out. It's amazing. It's chilling. It's beautiful. Her friend captured the performance on video. It quickly went viral, still being shared all over the place.
Chapter 5: How did a spontaneous national anthem performance go viral?
Here's just a clip of the very end, even though the whole thing is worth watching. Let me fill in people here. Squatty Jewish broad. That's a towel. Skinny Asian. And the home of the brave The whole crowd gathered. That's nice. They gave out her phone number. One of the guys holding the phone was like, I'm the manager. I'm the manager. Call me. And hopefully she'll get a little workout.
That's a shot of Von Miller with a single teardrop coming down his cheek. If Chewbacca mom can be going to Star Trek or Star Wars conventions now and signing autographs for 20 bucks a pop, she'll be on a TV show very soon. She better be. Yeah. Simon Cowell's got to get on. I mean, Chewbacca mom really did. I found it to be amazing, but really did nothing more than just put a mask on her face.
And giggle. And giggle. Well, I think so much of that has to just be about timing and news cycles. Right. You can't do that when the airport is shot. It can't be 10 minutes after that. It's got to be slowed down. Maybe also maybe tired of hearing whatever Trump or Hillary story has been out there. And Chewbacca mom pulls us out. That really helps us that.
That's our biggest national export right now. Good viral videos. Well, do you want to beat a parking ticket in court? Because there's an app for that. The Do Not Pay Robot Lawyer, which 19-year-old British student Joshua Browder introduced last year, works by guiding users through a chat. It's also a great Phil Hartman bit. Yeah. Robot lawyer. I'm just a robot. I understand your flying tubes.
Chapter 6: What is the significance of the Do Not Pay app for parking tickets?
So it's a chat interface asking simple questions about the citation from the accuracy of signs to how legible the ticket is. The team created the chat bot by scanning thousands of documents released under the Freedom of Information Act and working with a traffic board. So, yeah, the site launching Do Not Pay has helped people beat 160,000 tickets, saving people about $4 million in fines total.
And the best part, you don't have to pay to use it. I got to say, I feel mixed about apps like this because part of me feels like, yes, I want this app. But then another part feels bad for me for that cop who's like, oh, I didn't make my quota because some jerk used this app. Yeah, but they shouldn't have quotas. Do you really feel bad? A little bit at some, but not much. I just...
got back from amsterdam and all people did was ride bikes and mopeds and scooters and sort of park you know here's how you know our country's a pile of crap when you go to other countries you see people and you go oh look at that one guy he's facing the wrong way he's parked the wrong way the other guy's all going this way he's gonna get it he's gonna get it that's like
No, he doesn't get it because he's not really criminal and he pays taxes and he found an open parking space and he didn't do the stupid move that we do, which is circle around and block traffic and do a five point move, whatever. He just slid in.
And then on the other side of the street, there's people going the other way and everyone's just buzzing around on their mopeds, their bicycles and their little miniature smart cars. We didn't see any form of parking enforcement. We didn't see the sign. See, we are so stupid. We just drove in from LAX. We hopped in the car at 3.30 in the afternoon.
So, okay, it's going to be a cluster heading out here. At one point, we're looking at a sign, and it says, no right turn. It's got the big no right with the big arrow, I mean, big stripe through it. No right turn. Boom. And then in miniature letter underneath, it says between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Monday. But it's 345, and these idiots are just looking up at the thing that says no ride.
See, we're overwhelmed. You go through Amsterdam. You don't see a bunch of signs. Nothing's painted red. Nothing's painted red. There's no, Chris, was there no parking enforcement at all that you could see at any point? No, it moves so smoothly, too. The whole town is just like a well-oiled machine. Well, because they let people just kind of go. It's like the flow of life.
Like, hey, you don't get run over by a chick on a bicycle because let her go and then you go and then that's it. It works. It all works perfectly. The way that I think I've got it so summed up for me well is in Europe, exit signs are green. Here, they're red. So if you don't speak English and you see exit, you're seeing red. So that seems like don't go there. That's bad. Yes.
But green would be like go. That's where we should be headed towards. We're stupid, and everyone get these apps, and let's just claim our streets back. Because here, it's so predatory, and it's so insane, and I can't stand it. And just don't pay your parking ticket. Just screw it. We just drove here. Nick was driving. I told him to drive through Reds, drive through everything.
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Chapter 7: What happened during the helicopter incident?
Okay. Good. So that was bad, but you survived? I survived, yeah. How many people were on the helicopter when it went down? There was five of us, and two of us survived. Oh, Jesus. Wow. Yeah. Tell us the story.
Chapter 8: What injuries were sustained from the helicopter crash?
Okay. We were... We were essentially, okay, what we were doing, we were sending ammo. We were dumping ammo, pallets of ammo, to some special forces. And we got hit by an RPG. It hit the tail rotor, and we just went down. How high were you when you were hit? Really not that high. We were probably maybe, let's say, about 70 feet above the ground.
And he started spinning around and just had a super hard landing? Just super hard landing, yeah. And your injuries were what? My injuries were I shattered my both femurs, shattered my pelvis, and they had to fuse my lower back. And the three folks that didn't make it, were they up front in the cockpit or in the same area? Yeah.
They were up front in the cockpit, and what happened was the tail rotor spun. Not the tail rotors, but the rotor blades spun and basically, well, not basically, decapitated their heads. Oh, Christ. That had to be a bad day. I mean, you were conscious? You witnessed that? I did not witness that. I remember passing out when I hit the ground.
Were you guys, well, not that you were worried because you were passed out, but then what about the folks that whoever shot you with the RPG, the GED, sorry, why were you worried about those people now, you know, sort of Black Hawk Down style? A little bit, but there was plenty of military presence in the area that we were safe. Uh-huh. Boy. Did you know the three guys well? Yeah, I did.
I mean, I was with them. I did, let's see, I did three tours with them, 120 days at a time, yeah. I feel like a bad dream. The guy from Bill Maher said that could have been a Catholic or Christian insurgent just as easily. What about us? What about us? Yeah, we cannot judge. You can't judge. Wow. All right.
My question is that right now I have a Range Rover Sport, and it's just too high for me to get in and out of in the wheelchair. And I'm wondering any suggestions on a vehicle, A, that's safe, and, B, that's going to be easy to get in and out of, you know, taking apart the wheelchair and slinging it in and stuff like that.
You know, the good news and bad news with the confined to a wheelchair and driving, your upper body will be in fantastic shape well into your 80s because every single day you're going to have to do essentially a dip where you lift yourself up, swing yourself over, grab this contraption, sling it over your shoulder. Like you can't go a day without doing the equivalent of 25 push-ups.
While Chris and I were in Kauai, there was a guy at the hotel who had a wife and a young child, probably like one and a half or two. He was in a wheelchair, and he was chasing after the kid and doing all the things dads do and getting out of the pool, in and out of the pool, doing the dip, basically, in and out of the pool. It was super impressive. The guy was well-defined up top.
Yeah, no choice. Sort of like, you know, living on the ninth floor with no elevator, like every single day. Get those calves. Yeah, so a car. Now, but you need space for the wheelchair and everything, right? Yes. Yeah. Now, Range Rover Sport's a nice car. You're not looking to downgrade to, like, a van or something? How about the Murano? Yeah, let's go with that.
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