Chapter 1: What is the purpose of Corolla Classics?
Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, Superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights, and fan-selected clips from all 17 years of The Adam Corolla Show. We have a companion podcast titled Corolla Classics, available exclusively through PodcastOne.plus. You can find the ad-free archives.
And if you'd like to find the ad-free archives of The Adam Corolla Show, The Adam and Dr. Drew Show, or get access to the brand-new podcast, Beat It Out, make sure to check out Adam Corolla's Substack, adamcorolla.substack.com. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us, classics at adamkrola.com. Now on to the clips.
Coming up first today, we have Adam Krola Show 1913, one-on-one with Norm MacDonald from back in 2016. Rest in peace, Norm. Adam's guest today, Norm MacDonald. And now, a guy who doesn't drive being interviewed by a guy who just spent $4.4 million on a Porsche. Adam Carolla. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get on mandate. Get it on, Porsche.
By the way, I've been corrected by snobs in the past. Norm MacDonald in studio. Yeah, good to see you, my friend. You too, pal. How the fuck do you get $4 million? Where's that come from? How the fuck do you get that? You got to blow a lot of dudes. No, here's how you get it.
You sell a whole bunch of your other cars that you bought over the course of the last decade so that you can raise the money for the one car. So it's like sell five or six cars to raise some of the money for the one car. So is this like you love this car? I did a documentary about Paul Newman racing, and this is the car he drove at Le Mans, which is a big deal. Did you meet Paul Newman? No.
Oh, fuck. Yeah, sad, right? He invited me to... Because I was on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Yeah. And that was my charity, right? So I won a half million dollars. Hold the Wall Gang? Hold the Wall Gang.
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Chapter 2: Who is the first guest featured in this episode?
Yeah. But I didn't tell them. So they just got a check for 500 grand. 500 grand. Should have got a million. So then... Yeah. I want to get into that. So then... They keep sending me fucking, they want more money. Oh, it's like an alumni association. They think I'm a guy with a half a million dollars every fucking year. So I'm like, no, I don't have a half a million.
Yeah, this Norm MacDonald, he must be some sort of shipping magnet or something. I've never heard of him, but he evidently has very deep pockets and loves homeless children. So we should just keep hitting him up for money. That's exactly it. was going to meet me. So he's my hero, kind of. Newman's your hero? Well, I love all his movies, and I love how he's conducted his life.
Oh, boy, do I have a documentary for you. Really? Yeah. The one you made? Yeah, it's all about his racing life. Oh, that's awesome, because, yeah, I love that, I don't know how old he was, but he was 40 or something. You know, he was, when he started racing, he became one of the best amateur drivers. Four-time national champion. Amazing. I got two of his championship cars 100 feet from here.
And he's, by all evidence, he was monogamous with Joanne Woodward. He wasn't a player when he was the most handsome guy ever. You know what's weird I just thought about, Norm? I think you might appreciate this conceptually. We appreciate two dudes. We appreciate the guy who's been faithful to his wife for 47 years and never looked the other way with all the trappings of Hollywood. Yeah.
And we then thus also worship at the altar of the guy who fucked everything that wasn't nailed down. That guy was serious. Coxman. I mean, he fucked everyone. We don't. But when someone goes, he fucked like eight chicks over the course of 40 years. I don't know about him.
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Chapter 3: What humorous story does Norm MacDonald share about his finances?
Well, you know, it's like if a guy gets feast or famine in the fucking department. One chick or 180. If a guy gets divorced twice, he's kind of a loser. But if he gets divorced nine times, he's a character. Ladies, man. Yeah. Hide the daughters when he comes into town. I met Mickey Rooney. So, you know, he was the biggest star in the world and he was married.
Norm's eating, by the way, if anyone wants to know what's going on. So he was married to, I don't know, but it was like Ava Gardner, like seven beautiful women, the biggest women, most people in Hollywood. So in his head, he still thought. He could get these women, you know. Well, it works on chicks. It doesn't work on dudes. What I'm saying is... You mean like Bea Arthur or something?
Yeah, like if I found out that Lorenzo Lamas Jr. was banging Bea Arthur 10 years ago, I wouldn't go, well, fuck, give me a piece of that shit. I'd go, he's got a mental condition. But women, when they find out that Sophia Loren is sucking off this fat producer, then they go, oh, must be good enough for me. You see how it works? Well, did Sophia Loren suck off a bad producer? Oh, yeah.
Is that true? How do you think we know her name? Lord God. I don't know for sure. Well, you're allowed on this show to just slander anybody. Well, no, I'm not. Look. She's a dear friend. Sophie's a dear friend. No, I don't know her background. All I can say for sure is this, that it works this way with women.
If there's one dude who beds a Kardashian and a Paris Hilton, he'll then get in a Lindsay Lohan. He'll get to mow through other Hollywood hot chicks. Like David Spade is that David Spade is that guy. And I would say he's more, because Warren Beatty was always the gold standard, but Spade doesn't have the looks of Warren Beatty. He's the aw shucks rapist. Rapist?
Well, I don't know why you brought up rapist. No, what I'm saying is Spade has quietly mowed through the entire bevy of blondes in this town, but he does it in a sort of unassuming way. Yeah. Spade is an interesting character because he's he's outside of Hollywood. He makes fun of it. And yet he's deeply inside of balls deep. A lot. Yeah. Many would argue. No, you know, he'll be on red carpets.
And I went out with him one time. He's like, let's go to a bar. We go to a fucking bar. And then, you know, people let us in, which is horrible, you know, like past everybody. Right. Let those guys in. Yeah, they'll go spading his bodyguards. His haggard bodyguard. His haggard is right. So I've never seen a picture of George Harrison not haggard. He's somewhere, but he's be haggard.
He's like beleaguered and haggard. Like he's haggard with a beleaguered thought. Be haggard? Yeah. How about the fact that George Harrison, we got to get back to that. How about the fact that he just got done beating cancer and a mad person broke into his estate and stabbed him repeatedly? I forgot about that. Jesus Christ, that's bad luck.
Did anyone think that maybe hanging with the Dalai Lama isn't what it's cracked up to be, like in terms of karma? How do you get into those? Like, remember that guy was going to jump over and rape Steven Spielberg. Right. Duck tape his mouth. I don't know why you're so fixated on rape, but continue. Absolutely. That's what I'm saying. I'm just playing out here, baby, all right?
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Chapter 4: What theory does Norm MacDonald share about Mexican Coke?
It's only my theory. Well, that's a pretty good one. When I tasted the Mexican Coke, that's when I grew up with the theory. I go, wait, that's the drink. Because you can tell the difference. Yeah. That's the drink I drank as a kid. As soon as I drank that Mexican Coke, I was like, those motherfuckers. So that's a very interesting theory. I'm down with it. You like that one? Yeah.
I'm not a conspiracy theorist. Everyone says you can go to Mexico and get the cane sugar run. So, all right. Count Chocula. Speaking of conspiracy theorists, I saw the real time with Bill Maher. Mm-hmm. How many of you have never been invited on that show? I've done it once, I think, yes.
It must be fun to just, I've never done it, but when you have to sit there while he does the new rules, he does a bunch of string of jokes. Right, you have to laugh. But anyways, I saw in there, you know, they'll put, so if I'm on the show, maybe they put Normie Donald Comedian or Normie Donald SNL. You can choose what you want the chyron to say.
So Richard Belzer was, I was like, Richard Belzer, conspiracy theorist. So I'm like, what, you don't believe in anything? You think everything's a theory? And so he just wrote a book about, as if anybody wants to read about Kennedy anymore.
I think him and Ed Asner and other guys like that, it should just read, instead of like activist or conspiracy theories, it should just go, hates the United States. Because that brings it into focus a little more to me. Because it's not... The conspiracy part is that they just fucking hate the United States. Right. Well, because if you believe 9-11 is an inside job. Yes.
And what the hell are you doing? What the fuck are you still doing in the United States?
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Chapter 5: How do conspiracy theories relate to American culture?
I would agree with you. You're in the worst fucking place ever. All the conspiracy theories are never flattering to the United States. That's true. Yeah, you're right. It's not like you didn't land on the moon. Yeah, yeah. The conspiracy theory is never like, oh, the melee massacre never happened. It's not that. Right, right. Oh, no, they say 138 villagers, or at least 1,000.
There's never a flattering... There's no conspiracy theory of any country, but especially the United States. It ends up being anything close to flattering to the government or the United States. And also, when you say that, I don't know if it exists in other countries. No, I agree. Like in Thailand. Yeah. Who stole that bamboo? No, I don't know. I don't think they do in, like, Thailand.
But when you start really breaking down the Belzers and the Asners, you just sort of realize the theme is we hate the United States, not that all this stuff happened and we're being naive. Right. And by God, the United States was so good to them in your chart. You know, super rich with marginal talent. Yeah. Roger Belzer? I'd say, yeah. I'd say doing pretty good.
I mean, Dennis always told me, oh, man, he was the best, you know, Richard Bell. But, you know, there's videotape I can see from Batman, you know. Maybe. Timing thing. Yeah, I agree. So who, so then now we're eating Count Chocula. Oh, yeah. So I eat some Count Chocula, which I don't know why that's so ridiculous. And then I, you know, I watch the TV.
Well, can I say this about Count Chocula or any cereals of that ilk? I feel like there's a window. The window is age four to age 11. What? Hold on. And then it opens up again at 81. You see what I'm saying?
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Chapter 6: What breakfast foods do comedians prefer?
But the problem is you're kind of in between right now. Because you see an old guy eating Fruit Loops or Count Chocula. It's kind of cute. You know what I'm saying? And a young kid, it's excusable. What do you think most people eat for breakfast? Adults? Yeah, what do you think they eat? Eggs, you know, other forms of hot cereal. That's what you eat when you're a child?
You eat eggs when you're a child? Right, but I mean, I think some people might have like a protein shake or smoothie or something. I'm talking about adults. You changed it from eggs. Well, no, I'm with eggs. You pivoted. No, I didn't mean to pivot off the egg thing. All right, so Count Chocula. Whatever I eat, it doesn't matter. All right, it's Count Chocula. Now it's noon.
It's something in my belly, yeah. And then it's noon. I round it up. It takes me like five minutes to eat. Okay. I eat at noon. I just eat standing up. And then I watch TV. What do you watch? Whatever's on. You know, you were talking about who's at home during these shows. I have noticed... that more and more the judges on the judge shows are all black. Interesting.
And the game show hosts are black during the day. Like, who wants to be a millionaire? It's hosted by a black guy. Right. The judges. Steve Harvey, right. Yeah, a lot of black judges. A lot of black judges, and it didn't used to be that way. Oh, it's interesting, yeah. So if you think there's a high unemployment rate amongst a certain group, that would be a good group to be represented on TV.
And it's nobody's fault. No, no, you can't judge. You can't blame anyone for being unemployed. But it is interesting. Yeah, so I watch some of that stuff, and then I... Oh, wait a minute. Hold on one second. Mike's from New Orleans. Oh, Mike, yes. Hold on a second. He's from New Orleans, and he's unemployed, so maybe we found the black guys watching the judge show. Mike? How you doing?
Are you black? No, sir. What are you doing unemployed? Norm wants to know. No, no. I got you. I never said that. I heard what you said. I usually work in the oil field. That's why. Ah, okay, yeah. So you got a question? Oh, yeah. So you work in the oil fields, you make a whole bunch of money, and then you're off for a while. Right.
Yeah, so I'm traveling, you know, but it's time to go back to work. And so my question is, something that I would want to do is, what I have an interest in is writing. Yeah. But I don't live in LA or New York or anything. I live in South Louisiana. So if I don't, you know, uh, teach Jimmy Kimmel boxing or something like that. Yeah. That's how I got my don't have in a show business. Yeah.
Did you, um, you know, what do you want to know? Do you have some jokes, Mike? Are they jokes? Like, like monologue jokes? No, I'm talking about write for a show or a comic or something like that. Yeah, no, but write a spec script. What's your favorite sitcom? Oh, let's see. That's good. No, don't write a spec script. You don't know any sitcoms.
But do you think you'd write monologue jokes for Jimmy Kimmel? Yes, and maybe movies, too. All right. We'll throw out a current ā But I will say when I was at Saturday Night Live, I don't know how it works nowadays, but any jokes I would get sent, I would always read all of them. And sometimes it was a good joke. And you don't get much. You get like 50 bucks a joke.
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Chapter 7: What advertising strategies does Adam discuss?
Do it the way Mike Dawson has done it. SimpliSafe. S-I-M-P-L-I. SimpliSafeAdam.com. By the way, right now, free shipping and the keychain remote, too. Click it on. Click it off. Worth $25, by the way. Get it for free. SimpliSafeAdam.com. All right. I'm just now realizing how many of our ads advertise three times better or three times more. Three times is not a lot. Yeah. Sorry.
I'm a little late on that. I take the exposed wiring for the listeners. When you do reads, I oftentimes edit a drop that I'll get during the show. So I have the headphones switched and then I'll be like, three times. Three times, fool. All right. Adam Ray is coming this way. He should be here any minute. It's a new car in the driveway. Let me go look.
Chapter 8: What are the implications of YouTube's content restrictions?
New car in the driveway. All right. Hold on, Gary. Don't look. He'll walk in when he walks in, I'm sure. I can tell you about a little controversy that was brewing over at PragerU. I've been tweeted about this quite often. You have been. Yeah, I've seen the tweets. Yeah. YouTube pulled down the videos or something or restricted them or something like that?
Yeah, they put them under a restricted flag. I don't know a lot about it. I can help you out if you like. Go ahead. So people on Google and on YouTube can flag things as being objectionable for a variety of reasons. And then YouTube has an algorithm where if that happens enough or if YouTube determines that they're sexual or inappropriate content, it goes on what's called a restricted list.
Now, anyone who has filtering turned on on their YouTube account, like basically anyone with a kid or people who have computers at work, if you search for certain PragerU videos like Adam's, even by name, it will not come up. You cannot find it. But there's nothing sexually explicit about Dennis Prager, right? I cannot explain this part. Well, this part is troll. So Dennis, he doesn't drink.
He doesn't cuss. He doesn't smoke. God damn it. He left his cigarettes at the bar. It's an old joke. Yeah. He's a devout Jew. He's the straightest shooting guy I've ever met in my life. And all his videos, they're all made by, like, ex-clergy or generals or Harvard professors. There you go.
The list includes dozens of professors among universities including MIT, Notre Dame, Princeton, Dayton, Boston College, Stanford, UCLA, Harvard, West Point, a black member of the South African Parliament, comedian Adam Carolla, and Yakov Spironov. In order. All the greats. In descending order. Two former prime ministers. Okay, so what it is is...
Some guy comes on, he's a historian, and he explains why it was necessary to drop the two atomic bombs, Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Well, the groups that troll on the internet decide they do not want to hear this, not message, they don't want to hear this truth.
They don't want the fucking truth to interrupt what's going on in their head, because they're beating a drum of how bad America is, and we never end up, we never stop doing that. And his... His things are uplifting and they're pro United States usually. But it's pro United States not pulling statistics out of my ass. It's here's what really happened. And they don't want to hear it.
You know, like he'll say more black people have come to this country voluntarily than came here via slavery. Well, that's a truth. But if you tell it to certain groups, that's hate speak. It's also counterintuitive. Like the video specifically you play on the show before about, no, it was actually in the long run a good thing that we dropped those bombs.
That is, you know, in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, that's counterintuitive. It's like how can it be possibly good to kill millions? Well, if you look at the big picture, it kind of benefited the war sooner, that kind of thing. It's kind of intuitive. You don't think of it that way. Well, that's what they're meant to do. They're meant to get you to think.
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