[video available on spotify] welcome back to advice session, a series here on anything goes, where you send in your current dilemmas or anything you want advice on, and i give you my unprofessional advice. today's topic is distrust in love. Brought to you by Dove Plant Milk Body Wash. eBay is the place for pre-loved and vintage fashion. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the focus of today's advice session?
Hey there, and welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything you want advice on, and then I give you my very unprofessional advice, and then hopefully you take it with a grain of salt. And today's topic is a familiar one, the topic of relationships, dating, love, romance. This is a reoccurring topic here on Anything Goes.
But to make it a bit spicier, today we're going to be discussing distrust in love, jealousy, trust issues, the not so fun stuff. And so without further ado, I say we should just begin. I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Dove's new plant milk cleansing collection.
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Your boyfriend wants an open relationship and you are clearly hesitant. I say that you're clearly hesitant because you're thinking about it to the point where you're asking me what you should do. Like, you know, a lot of decisions in life require an hour or two of thought.
This is clearly bothering you, sticking with you, to the point where you're asking me, a random lady on the internet, what you should do, okay? That already tells me that this is not something that you're naturally comfortable with. This is not something that you have a really good feeling about, okay?
If this was something that you were naturally inclined to do, if it felt organic and authentic to your personality, it would have never made it to the Anything Goes Instagram account, I can guarantee that. Actually, I can't guarantee anything. I am not God, but I can reasonably guess that this is not sitting right with you.
Now, before we go any further, let me tell you my take on open relationships, okay? I have to start by saying that open relationships don't work for me. And I'm saying that without ever being in one because I know myself enough to know that that is not a romantic structure that would work for me, okay? I know that for me personally, romance, intimacy, connection at that level is far too...
fragile for me to allow another person into that equation. I know that dating and romance and all these things are so sacred to me that involving somebody else would completely destroy the relationship for me psychologically. And it would destroy me psychologically.
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Chapter 2: How can I handle jealousy in an open relationship?
Like, when I look back at past relationships, I'm dumbfounded at the shit that I allowed. Dumbfounded. I can't believe it. But it's because I loved them or I thought I did. And it depends on the relationship. But I loved them or I thought I did. And... I made excuses for them so that they could do whatever they want and be happy, leaving me in the fucking dust, okay? This sucks.
And to be honest, like some people might think this is extreme, but to me, this is grounds for breaking up. Like I, if my boyfriend, like if I were in a relationship right now, who I am today, okay? If I were in a relationship right now and all of a sudden my boyfriend started going out until 5 a.m. every weekend with no communication, I would break up with him immediately.
That's what I would do, okay? That is a complete deal breaker for me. However, my advice is not to immediately break up because I don't know what's happening, right? So I can't in good faith tell you to just break up with your boyfriend, right? However, he's not, I don't like the sound of him right now, okay? He sounds like a really bad fucking boyfriend. You need to have a conversation.
You need to sit him down in the fucking daylight. Sorry, I keep saying the F word. I need to stop cussing. You need to sit him down in the daylight. and say, what's going on? I feel completely neglected every single weekend. You're going out until 5 a.m. You're not talking to me. And the weekends are the world's day off. We're all not working. I want to hang out with you.
I want to spend time with you. It's the weekend. It's time to celebrate and have fun. And you're going out until 5 a.m. and completely neglecting me. This is not my idea or really anyone's idea. of a fun, healthy relationship, okay? A fun, healthy relationship would consist of spending time together on the weekends. But if not spending time together, communicating on our separate ways, you know?
It's just not fair. It's anxiety-inducing. And it feels like shit. It feels shitty. It sucks. And I mean, unless your boyfriend gives some sort of miraculous excuse, I don't even know what he could say, to be honest. I don't know what he could say that could make this forgivable. Like, I hate this shit. I hate it. I don't know what he could say.
I think the only thing he could say that could possibly make it forgivable would be if he just got super vulnerable and he was like, listen, I'm going to be honest with you. All of my friends are single. I'm the only one in a relationship. And recently I've been feeling really excluded in my friend group. I just don't feel like I can connect with them because... They all are single.
I'm in a relationship. And I really just want to make sure I maintain that friendship with those friends. And so, you know, I kind of have to meet them on their level. And they're going out every weekend. And, you know, like, I want to spend time with them. And this is the sort of activity that they do. So... here I am hanging out with them, you know?
But I, and then if he also followed that up with, I didn't know you were feeling this way. If I knew that I would have not done it. How can I, what do you want me to do to make you feel more comfortable? You know, how can we find a happy medium? If he says that literally verbatim, okay, maybe we'll consider forgiving him. But really, any other response won't do.
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