hello and welcome back to advice session, a series here on anything goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on, and i give you my unprofessional advice. today we have a slew of topics, all of which relate in some way or another to personal turmoil - doubting oneself, struggling with oneself, learning about oneself... personal turmoil. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What dilemmas are discussed in this advice session?
Hello, and welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on, and I give you my unprofessional advice. And then hopefully from there, you take the advice with a grain of salt. And today we have sort of a slew of topics
all of which relating in one way or another to personal turmoil, doubting oneself, struggling with oneself, learning about oneself, personal turmoil. I feel like life is just one personal turmoil to the next, to be honest. I'm kind of always in some sort of personal turmoil, if I'm being honest. The second one ends, another one begins. I'm always...
fucking solving some sort of internal issue, I feel like. I think most of us are. I think, unfortunately, that's just kind of what life is. Constantly bettering yourself, figuring out yourself, you know, like that's just kind of how it is. Without further ado, let's begin.
Somebody said, how does one learn to understand their intuition?
To be honest, I'm still learning how to trust my intuition. I'm a very anxious person. And I think trusting intuition is particularly challenging for those who have anxiety because I'll be really anxious about something and I'll convince myself that I'm having an intuitive moment. Like, I'll be flying on an airplane. Honestly, last night is a great example. I was on an airplane last night, okay?
From Denver, Colorado to Los Angeles. Now, something about flying out of Denver is that there's a lot of winds and mountains. It's kind of a turbulent ride, at least in the beginning. Very bumpy. I really, really believed last night while in the Colorado airplane turbulence that I was going to die, that something was going to go wrong. Even though if you Google, is turbulence dangerous? It's not.
But I really had a hard time last night. I fully had a panic attack on the plane. I was really anxious. I felt like something was going to go wrong. And then the turbulence made it 10 times worse. And I fully had a panic attack and cried. My dad was sitting next to me on the plane. He's like, dude, all good. Everything's totally fine. I'm like crying. It was not good, okay? Why was I crying?
Because I had convinced myself that... My fear, the fear that I was experiencing was intuition that something was going to go wrong. No, it was just anxiety because I recently within the last few years developed a fear of flying and because there was a lot of turbulence. Not even that much, to be honest. Like, there was turbulence, but it wasn't, like, that bad.
And because for one brief second, one of the flight attendants looked a little bit concerned. And I was like, are they concerned because the plane is crashing? Is crashing? What's happening? They were probably concerned because... I don't know, like they left their phone on like one of the little airplane countertops. You know what I mean?
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Chapter 2: How can one learn to understand their intuition?
It's another thing to be chronically lonely. And humans are social creatures, okay? I hear that quote all the time by various, I don't know, scientific podcasters, okay? And like fucking on clips, like I'll see like clips of podcasts about mental health and it'll be like, humans are social creatures and we're lonelier than ever. I see people saying stuff like that on the internet all the time.
And it's true. There are sort of two levels to this question. The first part, how to be okay with being completely alone for so long, not having any friends. Can I be completely honest? It's okay to not be okay with that. It's really uncomfortable. And I think the best thing that you can do is to make it a priority to make friends.
Because it's one thing to be in a phase of loneliness because you're searching for new friends actively and you just haven't found your people yet. That's one thing. It's another thing to be really lonely and not have any friends and not really be sure what to do about it. If you're completely alone and you've gone a long time without friends, my first question is, are you looking?
Because we do need people, you know, we need other people. And in moments when we're feeling lonely and upset, our number one priority should be to start looking for community. Where can you find community? Do you want to go volunteer at an animal shelter? Do you want to start hanging out at the library more often? Do you want to start hanging out at cafes more often?
Do you want to start going to the gym where there's other people or go to workout classes? Do you want to join a Facebook group about your favorite book series? Like, how can you find some sort of community? Now listen, does it take time to find those communities? And in the meantime, are you going to be a bit lonely? Yes. And how do you manage that?
I think, honestly, my best advice is kind of similar to the last piece of advice I gave about all of your friends being in relationships and you not being in one. It's about manifesting what you're looking for in friendship, figuring out what that is so that you can look for it even more clearly in your life. Better yourself in the meantime. Work on yourself in the meantime.
Find hobbies that you like. Work really hard. Get a bunch of shit done. You know what I mean? And hold out hope. It's normal to be upset when you're lonely. You don't need to be okay with that. You know what I mean? It's okay to be upset by that and to feel like shit. But I think it's easier to manage when it's a feeling that you're experiencing as you're looking for new friends.
But you know what? Making friends is fucking tough, okay? It's hard. It is not easy. And so a lot of people just feel more comfortable being sad and lonely. You know, it's almost easier that way, but I can tell you, it's so rewarding to put yourself out there. And then the second part of this question is how to be satisfied with your own company. Now, that's kind of its own beast, right?
Because we have to sort of be satisfied with our own company, whether we have friends or not, because we're all gonna be alone sometimes. You know, we can't be around people all the time. And for people who are sort of like me, 50% introverted, 50% extroverted, being alone is pretty comfortable for me, right? I'm satisfied with my own company.
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