hello, and welcome back to advice session, a series here on anything goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything you want advice on, and i give you my unprofessional advice. today's topic is dating complications. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Full Episode
Hello, and welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on, and I give you my unprofessional advice. And today's topic is dating complications. Dating and romance and love can be absolutely incredible.
But as with all things that can be absolutely incredible, it can also be miserable and challenging and complicated and confusing. And that's what we're going to be discussing today. The complicated side of dating and romance and love. Without further ado, let's begin. Somebody said, I can't develop any feelings for any dates or any guys that I've met recently. Is it me?
This is such a frustrating feeling and I deeply relate to it because I've been there many times. I feel like there's this pressure to go on dates and feel things relatively quickly. Like, okay, if you go on five dates, there's this expectation, like, at least one of those should work. But it's not that simple. There's no... predictable outcome, right?
You might go on a hundred dates and not click with any of those people. And that is neither your fault or theirs. Whether you click with someone or not is arguably up to the cosmos. You know what I mean? It's written in the stars. It couldn't be less of your fault or their fault. It's no one's fault. It's just how it is. You can't control if you click with someone.
And to blame it on yourself is to cause yourself unnecessary grief because it is so normal to go on a bunch of dates and click with absolutely no one. And the best thing that you can do is honor your instinct that it's not working and not bark up the wrong tree and try to force something to work that isn't working. I will say, though...
It is a bit complicated because there are times when you might be in a certain state of mind, you might be in a certain phase of your life that is preventing you from connecting with people that you're on a date with. And that's something to consider. Now, I would argue that that's almost your subconscious and the universe protecting you from getting into a relationship at the wrong time.
But when you ask the question like, hey, why am I not connecting with anyone I'm going on a date with? Is it me? I guess sometimes it can be you, right? But I would argue it's beyond you. It's a state of mind that you're in. You're not ready. Maybe you too recently broke up with your ex.
Maybe you're going through a really hard time on a personal level and bringing somebody else into the picture would be really complicated. And your brain doesn't have the capacity to be excited about someone. That's absolutely possible. And that's something you should... And consider, am I in the state of mind to be dating right now anyway?
Do I even have the energy, the capacity to give myself and my attention and my vulnerability to someone? You have to be in a pretty healthy state of mind to do that. And if you reflect on yourself and you're like, huh, yeah, I probably don't have the capacity to be dating right now.
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