Emma Chamberlain
Appearances
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And I honestly would say that the ways that I was burned the most, though, were like more personal ways, like the ways that just like people who were like kind of bullies to me, like behind the scenes, like you would never like not necessarily on camera, but like most of the shit that was like. Bad was like behind the scenes where it's just like shitty friends. Yeah.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Well, I mean, I think that our friendship was based in content. You know, a lot of the times it was like, what was our friendship without content? Yeah. Like, if we weren't making content together, would we be friends? It's hard to say.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But I'm done with that. I've taken a break for the past few months. I'm like, sorry, I'm done. Or a month or so. Not that long. But I was like, I'm burnt out. So I'm going to take a fucking break.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Well, it's interesting because actually some of the friendships were like quite close friendships where we were talking a lot. Some of them not. But like some of them genuinely were close like that. But the question still remains, would we be friends if we weren't making content together when we were together? Right. And it's like, that's kind of where it gets foggy, right?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Because it's like, we were really close, but if we weren't making content together, would we be hanging out? Would we even care to check in on one another? You know what I mean?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It happened, like, one by one, I would say. Like, I would have kind of realization about... Just... And it wasn't, like, anything... Some of them, there was, like, moments where it was, like, a blow-up, where it was just, like, fuck you, you know? Like, this is just, like, not... Like, you are using me. I can tell. Fuck you. But then other moments, it was, like...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It was more just like a drift away where I was like, you know what? How is our friendship off camera? And if the friendship was like not good, then I was like, you know what? I'm just going to back away. And I've always been somebody where I'm like, I don't feel much sadness. If a friendship's not like positive, I will be the first one to fucking cut it off. And just because what's the point?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
You know, even if we're profiting off of our friendship, even if we're not, even if it's a private friendship, I will like walk away with no remorse if I feel like it's right. And so that I kept that principle for all friendships, you know, throughout my teen years.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
yes like I've definitely like I've definitely struggled to cut off public friendships a lot more public friendships have always been harder to kind of back away from even if it was like what needed to happen for all parties you know like it's definitely harder because you're like god like you know even if this ended civilly or even if it fucking didn't yeah we you know I don't want someone else the other party to get
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
in trouble by the court of public opinion for our friendship ending because even let's say they did the worst let's say they were such an to me they're gonna pay enough with their own conscience yeah you know i don't think it's necessary to have the world knowing about that too what do you get anxiety about in general like what are the main things that give you anxiety i would say the main thing that gives me anxiety
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
is something happening where my character is portrayed incorrectly and it being believed, right? And me not feeling like I'm able to say, this is not me. Because I know, like, I don't care what anybody says, I'm not a fucking bad person. And I know that. And I know that because... I have too much of a conscience. The guilt I feel about everything. I can't do bad shit.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Because my guilt and conscience is so strong that I almost wish I had less of that. Because I actually feel guilty about things that I don't need to feel guilty about. And it sucks. But I know that I'm not a bad person. But I do... sometimes fear that something will get in the, somebody will even spread a rumor about me. That's not real. And that will become known as fact.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And I know how things work on the internet where it's like, people aren't digging into every single story that they see. So if like a bad story that comes out about me comes out, people see it. They're just going to take it as fact. And let's say a week later it's proven. Oh, that's not true. Like Emma, Emma didn't hit an old person in the street. Um, like, um,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
people are still gonna remember the article that they saw where they said that I did. And that's what freaks me out is that, you know, I don't always feel like I'm able to defend myself. And I also don't always want to. And I also can't go in and diffuse every rumor about myself. I would be fucking, that's all I would ever do. You know what I mean?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
If I went and addressed every fucking rumor or every fake blah, blah, blah, blah, blah about me, you know, I wouldn't, that would be actually my full-time job. So like, I can't do it. And so it's just like this process of trying to figure out like, you know, like I just feel so out of control of the public perception of me because somebody could go and lie about me tomorrow. And you know what?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
The other thing is I don't like, let's say I did do something fucked up. Let's say I did push an old lady in the street. Let's say I was having a really bad day. Who knows? There's not a lot of room for having a bad day. There's not a lot of room for making a one-off mistake. And even if that's not something that reflects my character, how am I
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I can apologize and say, this is not me all I want, but everybody does that. And how do people even know that I'm being honest? You know? So it's like, it kind of feels like a witch hunt in a way. And I think that in some areas, like, yeah, criticism is necessary. Absolutely. But I think that sometimes like people love it. And so,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
They want to feed the drama and I don't want to be the butt of that. And listen, it's happened. You survive, but it just fucking sucks. And it sucks even more when it's not.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
true or it's not a representation of you as a person and people make blanket statements like oh we we heard Emma did this one time Emma is now evil all around you know there was like a rumor that I was a bully in high school and I remember I was like okay and I saw like a girl from my high school made a TikTok that was fully not true it was fully not true about like me saying some mean shit during class like made up this whole like fake story I'm like girl I
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
We went to all girls school. We were like nerdy. Like nobody was bullying each other in high school. Is there a chance that I excluded somebody in high school? Is there a chance that I maybe made a snarky remark to someone in high school? Fuck yes, there is. There's a great chance that I probably did that sometimes. I woke up too early. I was in a bad fucking mood. Sure. But.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I never did anything evil. I know that for a fact. And do you know what? If I did, I'm sorry. I don't know. I don't remember. Do you fucking remember what you did in high school? No. Nobody fucking remembers. And we're also kids. It's like kids playing in a fucking knife drawer. We're all learning how to be good people. And you're going to fuck up in that process.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But it's the fact that, you know, my... identity is in the hands of like everyone who's ever met me and everybody who's ever seen me do anything and I don't have control over that and the psychological damage is quite it is crazy but also I signed up for it. So here we are, you know what I mean?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
course so that's actually you guys are listening you are the ones ingesting it you're clicking on it i don't know i it's a it's a scary industry a little bit to be in right now i agree and i think the other thing is is that there's a difference between you know somebody doing something genuinely bad right and something genuinely bad and having an intent that's like i actually i
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
like want to hurt people, you know, because that happens on the Internet. You know, you see people fuck up and do things that genuinely directly harm people. And they actually had the intent of harming people. Right. I never on my whole time on the Internet have ever posted something with the with a negative intent. Right.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Now, listen, if I do something that is perceived in a way where it's like, Emma, that's not right. And here's why. That's fine. I'm willing to like learn. I'm always open minded, you know, and I think constructive criticism. There's nothing wrong with it. This could have been perceived in a way that was offensive and hurtful. I totally get that. Then it's like, OK, we'll go from there.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And thank you for letting me know. Let's move on. Like, I didn't have that intent, but I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm so glad that you let me know. I'm so happy to do better next time and to be more aware of how this could be perceived wrong. But it's when people are like, oh no. You're done.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
You're done because even though you had no idea what you were doing and even though it was a complete, complete 200% accident, you're still done because you made a mistake. That is such fucking uncharted territory. How are you supposed to predict? It's like, I could fucking put on deodorant in a video and I feel like at this point somebody's gonna be like,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I've been thinking about YouTube for four years straight. There's not been a day or an hour that has gone by where something about it has not come into my head. And whether it's like, how do I want to evolve my, my videos? You know, what am I going to film next? Like, what are people going to think of that video? Was that video shit? Like same thing with my podcast.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
you're offending people that don't want to wear deodorant. No, literally. You know what I mean? It's like, I understand that like you have to, if somebody does something wrong, holding them accountable is fair. And in some actually places, very good. I've learned so much from being on the internet and from people being like, Hey, when you talk about this, like this, that's not cool.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And I've been like, damn, I would have never known that. Otherwise. Thank you. Like truly, like I'm grateful for that, but it's when it's like, people twisting shit just for funsies and not giving me room to be like, it just discourages me and it just makes me, yeah, it makes me want to disappear, you know? How has your brand evolved?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
When I first started on the internet in general, I was just kind of copying what all the girlies were doing. You know, I was like, okay, I'll talk about makeup and clothes and things like that. And then that wasn't really...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I will say there has been a lot of times where I've almost quit.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
lighting my soul on fire so then I was like I'm gonna start vlogging and I just started vlogging and then I vlogged for years I mean I was like you know just like filming random shit like whatever I thought was like funny or interesting or random at the time I was just filming it and so um in some like more concept-based videos too like stuff where I was like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
going to children's place and trying to pick out a cute outfit, you know, like shit like that. Yeah. And just like having fun with whatever. I kind of had no I was like my baseline theme on my channel is me. So like whatever happens, I'm just like the main theme of it, which I mean,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
What kind of self-centered idiot 16-year-old do you have to be to think that that's going to... You fucking narcissist, Emma. I know, right? I'm like, damn. You think it's about me? I'm like, it's about me? Me. Okay, that's it. What's your channel about, babe? It's about me. Me.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Tune in. I promise you'll love it. No. But really, that was it. And then I think within the past year or so, I've been trying to kind of make my content a little bit more...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
mature because I'm more mature you know so like on my podcast I've been talking about more serious topics and on my YouTube you know the last few videos I made were very like more just like chill and toned down and just relaxed and like not super based on like a gimmicky kind of concept like just kind of just me existing and doing whatever and like editing the videos myself in a way that I felt was like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
calming and more mature to watch, I would say. Because I just don't think that like I want to be making, you know, I have to evolve the things that I'm putting out or else I'll seem ingenuine. They have to evolve with me or else it's like not going to work.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Was this episode, did I rant too much? Did this episode, like, was this episode fucking annoying? Like, was I repeating myself too much? You know, it's like, There's no end date. There's no room for a real break. There is, but you don't want to let yourself believe that, right? And... There's no room for mistakes. There's no room for mistakes. There's no room.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
This is something I've been thinking about a lot because I think that the last four years or whatever of me being on the internet, you know, I... When it came to... my career, I was just in autopilot. I was just like pumping shit out and it was coming from my heart still, but it was like, I was just kind of like on go, go, go, go, go mode. So I wasn't thinking about anything too deeply.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And I also wasn't thinking about, I definitely wasn't thinking about my own personal identity when no one's around and I'm by myself and I look in the mirror, who is that?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I was so focused on working 24-7 for the past four years that I was teetering between having no thoughts and being burnt out and just feeling like I was dying because I just could not look at a Final Cut Pro one more fucking time, right? But then also moments of just like,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
absolutely just busting shit out and like it was just like back and forth teetering that left no time for me to ever have a free moment to be like okay wait who am i outside of all this so for the fat for the past four years you know i've just been on in this hamster wheel of working and working and working and working and working and you know kind of exploiting myself at times to just
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
do as much as I possibly could, especially because I started to get so many opportunities that I was excited about. I was like, well, I don't wanna say no, you know what I mean? Like I wanna do everything, but you can't do that. But I didn't know that at the time. So I was spreading myself so thin and giving myself no time to sit back and be like, okay, wait, who the fuck are you?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Who the fuck are you? And within the past, I would say, honestly, especially two or three months, I've been having a lot of like psychological struggles because I'm like, I'm now having to figure out like,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
refine my identity after like shoving it away for the past four years ignoring it and just putting that on the back burner it's like now I'm left being like I don't even know what fulfills me what excites me what you know makes me feel like I have purpose outside of my work I don't know what it is because I've not let myself go there I didn't have the time to go there and so that's kind of what I'm figuring out now and you know
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I've gotten to a place where it got so dark for me you know even recently that I was like well I don't fucking care if everything goes away I'm like I don't care because I'm so I'm so disconnected from myself that like I need to refine that and if when I'm ready to come back to the internet fully and if when I'm ready to like you know get back into the swing of things like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
i if if people don't want to watch anymore people don't care anymore i need to do what i gotta do yeah it's impossible to develop your identity and be online at the same time because developing your identity means silence you need silence you need alone time you need to be
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
intimate with people you know you need all of these types of things that do not align with being a fucking youtuber or even being a podcaster at times you know i think podcast is like when it comes to personal identity it's easier especially too because like they can't always see you there's something nice but i don't know but with youtube specifically it's like trying to develop your personality and simultaneously continue to be consistent on the internet it's like you cannot do both because you have to have
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
A fully formed something to show. Did you ever watch Harry Potter? You know I did.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
You're giving me Gryffindor through and through, and I don't say that about many people.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
humanity in a way like your boss is literally just like public opinion it feels like and that's fucking weird and it's so out of your control because the court of public opinion evolves it ebbs it flows it's not like you're reporting to one person and like being like here's my work for the week you just have to be constantly trying to guess what the people want and when you're living by that
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
You know, I, I wouldn't say that like my growth completely stopped because I, you know, it's like I was still growing. I, I, for the last four years made my entire purpose in life. To like at a certain point, I was like, my entire purpose is to now succeed at this and take it as far as I can and enjoy it while I'm doing it. Right.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And so I put away and threw away all other purposes that I had even brewing in me. I was like, I don't give a fuck about anything else. I'm throwing all of my eggs in this in this basket. You know what I mean? I want to make this is my only purpose. And then now I'm at a place where. I've arrived at what I wanted to happen.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And now I'm left with this feeling where I'm like, this is fucking amazing. And I'm so happy that I'm here, but I don't have any more goals in this area. Right. I don't have any more thing. I don't want to get more followers. I don't want to get more views. I don't care about that shit anymore. You know, like at a certain point I was like, I would love to grow this as big as I can, like whatever.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Now I'm like, I don't really think it needs to go any bigger. Like I'm good. You know what I mean? I'm fine with it how it is now. So I'm having to like figure out now what things will give me purpose outside of this. And it's a fucking hard pill to swallow. I didn't, I, you know, I'm like, I'm 20 and I'm like,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Now I have to find a whole new purpose, but also everybody is looking at me and is like, look at that. But you have this to look at. And I'm like, I need something bigger and deeper for myself that might not have anything to do with the internet. You know what I mean? I just don't know what that is yet.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And so that's been something that I've been struggling with is like, I haven't had time to do hobbies or whatever. But the other thing is that... I'm now in a routine where like I don't really have a lot of inspiration to do things that don't involve my work, which is a weird thing that like because my work in my hobbies became one. Right. Right.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
So like I don't have like the desire to do other little hobbies that like my brain convinces me are pointless to do. You know what I'm saying?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Yeah, it's honestly like everything in my life is melded into one where it's like my job, my social life, or lack thereof most of the time because I'm too anxious. But like, you know, every element of my life is all connected. You know, I don't have a separation of things.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And because of that, it all feels like everything could fall apart if I just pushed the wrong domino and it could just all fucking fall down. Like, you know, It's it's everything feels very fragile, which is why I'm now like, OK, I can't have all my eggs in this basket. I want to continue doing this. This is, you know, my passion and something that I I enjoy doing this stuff. Right.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But I have to find a life outside of it and solidify that life and like make that life something where I'm not so worried about what people think of me on the Internet. I'm not so worried about, you know, if this all went away tomorrow, because I do have this life outside of it that's so rich that. It doesn't matter.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It is, I mean, of course, like I do love meeting people. I mean, I really do. And I am generally a social person, I would say. Like I don't really get social anxiety about talking to people. Like if somebody comes up, I mean, there's been moments when it's been like kind of overwhelming or something just because it was like, you know, I was late to something or blah, blah, blah.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It's like, what formula are you to follow? There's no formula to follow. It's like uncharted territory. And sometimes the people don't even know what they want. So if they give you an idea that might not actually work. Sometimes you have to predict what people want. And it's just this whole mind fuck.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I always, you know, the actual interaction itself is always pleasant. You know, the only thing that I'm paranoid about is people who don't maybe like me and see me in public and they are like want to film me or are like watching me and like making fun of me behind my back. Like it's the fact that I could be anywhere and somebody might recognize me and I might not actually know that they know me.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
If somebody comes up to me and like says, oh my God, like,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
what's up you know like that's sweet i don't actually mind that it's it's the fact that i don't know when i'm not when i'm just another human being drifting through the street or when somebody is watching me because they've seen me before that is what makes me anxious and that's what makes it hard you know because i'm constantly feeling like i'm being surveillanced whether i know it or not
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I think a big step in it was deciding like that I'm going to, probably step back from youtube okay you know just because i will say that and i mean i don't know i'm not making anything definite right i'm just like this is just where i'm at now i take it day by day that's what i have to do or else i lose my mind but um
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
i i do like for me doing a weekly podcast is something that i can do because i mean it's very much me sitting in bed and like just talking um but i also think that by stepping back from youtube i have a lot more free time so that i can figure out okay maybe i want to like you know, who knows what I want to do.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But like, I might want to do something else that's creative that I can create for, you know, the world to hopefully enjoy if they decide to enjoy it. Like, it gives me room to explore number one, like what I could do next in my career, but also it gives me more time to like develop friendships properly.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And listen, I'm not complaining about it because in every job and every, you know, profession in life, like there are elements of it that are just a nightmare. And I think just with this, it's like, everything could just go away so quickly. And I think the way that I've found peace in it is I'm like, okay, if it does, then it does. And I'll just get pregnant and have a baby.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Cause I also, you know, don't like to have people in my videos or in my, on my podcast or anything. Cause I just gives me too much anxiety and I like it just to be me. And so, you know, it caused me to push a lot of people away cause I couldn't combine work and play, you know, I had to keep those very separate. And so because of that, it was like, I didn't hang out with people very often.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
So I'm taking this time to just like have as much free time as possible and just let myself get really bored and like see what I want.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
it's hard i and i think i have to be strict with myself and be like emma like you know you can do your podcast yeah but you can't be posting videos and be trying to figure out who you are and what you enjoy to do when the camera's off if the camera's still fucking on every week you just can't figure it out so you know
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I don't know what's, I'm constantly changing my, I'm like, oh, now I'm doing this. Oh, wait, now I'm doing this. I'm all over the place, right? Dude, you're 20, as you should be. So it's like, but I just don't think, I also don't know if, I feel like there might be something else out there that might excite me career-wise.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It might light me, light my soul on fire, you know, like there's something out there that I might be missing.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And so I want to have a little bit of time to explore that and see like what I want to do next that's going to be exciting to me. I think that's amazing.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It's really interesting because I always I struggled with my sexual identity growing up as well because as I mentioned earlier like I was just a late bloomer and I just also wasn't like an ultra feminine girl and I've never been like a super stereotypically feminine woman but yet like I I
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
straight woman like that's what I am but like no one ever like I've always gotten like shit for that you know and people have growing up too you know like people being like that's not true and I'm like you guys like Why? And I mean, listen, like I don't ever want to complain.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Like sexuality is such a tough and like intimate and emotion filled subject that like I don't want to complain about people like, you know. questioning my sexuality because I know it can be so much worse and so much more complex so I don't want to sound like I'm complaining but at the time I was like you know people like I remember my ex-boyfriend was like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
we were dating and like one of his friends like was like, dude, like she doesn't actually like you. Like she, I don't think she actually likes you. Like she's, I think she likes girls. Like I don't think she likes you. And then he came to me and told me that. And I was like, why the fuck would you say that? Like just why the fuck would you say that? Like, why are you assuming that?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Like, cause that's not true. And if it was true, so fucking be it. But like, why is this like, why are people speculating? Like I'm like, I'm dating it. Like, Why do you think he thought that? So he actually told my ex-boyfriend why he thought this. And it was because I didn't wear makeup and I wore sweatpants a lot. So all of a sudden now I'm like not allowed to like boys.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I was like, shut the... Right. Holy fuck. I mean, seriously, like just stupid. And I mean, I've always thought like...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I mean I get it we're humans like we're curious about other humans and so I don't think it's like I don't think there's anything wrong with within the privacy of your own mind to look at somebody else and be like hmm I wonder this this or that about their sexuality if you do that within the safety of your own mind totally sure but don't go to my boyfriend and be like dude
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Like, I think you're barking up the wrong tree here. Like, that's so fucking rude.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I was like, well. all of a sudden now I feel like I need to start being like, not myself. Like this is me. You know what I mean? This is just who I am.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I do like you. And I'm like, why the fuck should I have to prove that anyway? Nobody should ever have to prove shit about never. It's like, it's so incredibly nobody's business, which is, I think,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
why like I've always kind of been afraid of getting into it is just because I'm like sexuality is also something that has ebbs and flows too like some moments you're like oh my god I'm on like a roll I'm just like hooking up with everybody and like I just whatever and sometimes you're like I literally can't remember the last time I felt like any kind of excitement about anything sexually like there's so many moments things are constantly evolving there but
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Well, I'm in an interesting spot now where, you know, I'm 20 and I am in a spot where I'm ready to evolve things. And I don't really know what that means for myself right now. But I need to like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I also think that I'm just not somebody where, actually let me rephrase, because I was a very late developer as a young person, and because I didn't get any attention from guys really for my,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
appearance I definitely like became used to getting attention from what I was talking about and like what I was and how I was behaving and like that was what I started to lean into more because I was like well people don't I don't have boobies so like nobody's looking at me for my boobies so you know I have to figure out some other way to get attention and so that kind of became muscle memory where I was like well now I just feel like nobody's ever looking at me and is like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
looking at me in a sexual way so in order to like get attention I just have to like utilize my personality and then hope that like through that somebody will be able to be attracted to me in a more sexual way like If they maybe like like me personality wise. So that's kind of what I became used to.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But it always made me feel shitty because I was like, I just don't think guys are looking at me and are like looking at me in a sexual way ever. And that fucked with me because I was like. But. But why? Like, you know what I mean? I was like, this sucks. And even now that I'm older and like I like my boob has grown like maybe like this much, like like a tiny little little tiny bit.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But now that I'm older, you know, it's like. Even though like that's not really as much of an issue anymore, it's still. there's a little trauma there, you know, where in the back of my head, I'm like, number one, I remember people always not believing that I was like, that I was somebody who preferred dating men, uh, which like fucked with me.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But then also like, I, uh, like have memories of like just guys not being attracted to me physically. And then on top of that, like, I'm also just not a super outwardly sexual person. Like, I never present myself in a very outwardly sexual way. I'm just not comfortable doing that. And I don't have – there's nothing wrong with doing that. I just – it's never felt right to me.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And I've always felt like, well, because I'm not an outwardly sexual person, like, does that make me less attractive too in some ways? You know what I mean? So – But, like, that's just – it's so interesting, though, because the perception of me is so interesting for me to, like, watch. Like, people are like – I've seen comments that are just like, there's just no way, like, Emma's ever had sex.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And I get it. But I get it. But then that fucks with me because I'm like, I get why they think that. So –
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I mean, my, like, experiences in, throughout my life, actually, I haven't had, like, a lot of one-off experiences. Like, I've mainly just been in relationships, which I think... was good and bad. You know what I mean? Well, I think, okay.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I would say when it came to like any experience I've ever had in my life where it's been like a sort of one time thing, which hasn't actually happened a lot, but every time that it has, I feel like I've been able to kind of play a game where maybe I'm being a little bit more feminine because It's just fun. It's just fun. I can just be whatever the fuck I want right now.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I am. You can't do that in a relationship. No. Because the colors come out far too quick. So I've never really been able to play that game in a relationship. I definitely have done that in the few times that... I've like, again, like so it's happened, but never in relationships.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But I found that in past relationships, I didn't feel as respected by guys that have dated in the past just because I feel like they kind of. Well, especially like one relationship in particular, but it was just like I just felt like, you know. he was very critical of the fact that I like maybe wasn't a super feminine girl. And like, sometimes he was like, Oh, it's actually super cool and chill.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And then sometimes he was like, he was like, like if I had like put on jeans and come over, he would be like, Oh my God. Like you finally like put effort in. Like, that's crazy. Like it was like, and you're like, and I'm like, dude, shut the fuck up. Like I'm like, or you know, if I would be wearing makeup, or whatever, it would be like a big deal.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And like, it would be like, oh my God, you're wearing makeup? Like, whoa, you know what I mean? Or like, you should wear heels tonight. And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, I'm like, no, like I felt like I wasn't enough in like the areas that I was feminine weren't enough. So I felt like, you know, there was an effort to like make me more feminine to fit what they wanted.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But just like, again, it's like, we were fucking kids. All my relationships happen you know, at such young ages that it's like, of course there's going to be shit like that.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Well the thing is too about it is that as humans you know we're not supposed to. I mean, this is just an issue with social media in general. But you're just not supposed to be exposed to that many opinions, that many people's successes, that many people's vacations, that many people's hot takes. You're just not supposed to experience that many people's...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Um, but I would say I'm fully comfortable now in like what areas I'm more feminine and what areas I'm more masculine because I simply just getting into a relationship where my masculine and feminine traits are appreciated, but also like you know dating somebody who like just doesn't care about that shit and is just like enjoys people for like being a person like that it's like in less about like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And also it's like kind of similar to me in the sense where like maybe not the super traditional, super masculine, super feminine, like that's not playing any roles in our relationship. You know?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Yeah. Okay. I was, I've never talked about this on the internet. This is so fun.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I also like in my personal life, I talk about sex all the time. That's why it's so fucking weird for me that I never talk about it. Like,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I don't think, but also like I, yeah. Okay. So. Oh yeah. Oh. I was 17. Great age. It was actually a really not bad experience. Like it was with.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
a guy that I was like seeing at the time that I was pretty comfortable with and I mean he was definitely like you know he had had sex lots of times and I obviously hadn't but he was like great he like really like I don't know it was just like it was one of the most jarring experiences for me though in my entire life because it was one of those things where
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It was something I just never believed was possible for myself. Because growing up I had these experiences of people doubting my sexuality. I even had moments where I was kind of like, I don't even know if I like anyone. I went through phases where I was like, I feel nothing towards anyone. And I don't even know if I'm ever going to like somebody enough to... you know, let them in like that.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And, and I also was like, I don't feel like anybody wants to do this with me. You know, like I've never been, nobody's ever looked at me in a sexual way before, at least to my face. So like, I don't think that this is possible. Yeah. Um, and so when it was happening, I was like, Oh, it was so, it was, I was like, this is just like, it feels like everything's like shifting in my life, you know?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
lives right you're you know we're programmed biologically to only have to compare ourselves and and listen to like a handful of people right i've watched a video about this like i'm not a fucking scientist but like i did watch a video about this yeah yeah um i'm citing my sources long story short like you're just not supposed to hear from that many people it's not
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
chapter and i felt i had weirdly like imposter syndrome with it right because i was like i don't feel like i'm like are you sure that you want to do this i'm like nobody ever wanted to do this so i don't know why you want to do this and also i had a huge crush on this guy at the time so like you know he's even more crazy for me um and in retrospect i can look back and be like no like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I was being hard on myself and I didn't need to be like that. But... I mean, it hurt really bad.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It was so awful. We didn't even have sex. Right. It's not sex.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It doesn't get fun until you're like, Older. Older. Yes. And even like... Then like there's always more to learn. Always.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Well, you also are like, it's so true. I mean, I've had moments like on a personal level, but also like with other people, like when I'm, you know, like. Where I've just been, I've gotten into my head and been like almost embarrassed. Where I'm like, bitch, you are not, stop. Like stop being like.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I'm like, I literally, I'm like, this is not, it feels like out of character. Yes. And it doesn't feel like it aligns with me. And like. And you want to do it. That's why I hate going on top. Because I'm like, I don't want to have to fucking think about me.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
but it's like people are very judgmental about if you're like, I'm not, I don't like, I listen, it's not like I'm not a sexual person. There's definitely that side of me, but I also am like not a super sexual person. And like, there are times when I'm like, I don't, it doesn't need to be this like whole crazy thing. Like it's just, it just is what it is.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And like, I don't feel like I don't want to fucking perform. I don't want it. It just,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
and I think that the expectation to perform might actually end up being detrimental too at times, because you're like, it's all about figuring out what the vibe is, and if you're just like, well, the vibe doesn't feel like making really loud sounds right now, but I'm just gonna do it anyway, because I saw it in porn yesterday. You know what I mean? But then it's kind of like,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
like something that we're evolved to be able to comprehend. So it makes sense that, you know, for us, for example, like reading comments all the time from hundreds of different people, sometimes thousands, sometimes millions, that's just not a normal experience. And so when our brains react in weird ways, it's like, what else did we expect? This is a weird situation and is not normal. Natural.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But then it takes away from the intimacy of it. Yeah. You should just disappear and like not think. Yes. And like let it happen. Yeah. And that's it. You just have to get out of your way.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I will admit that I will enjoy... Kate, I know you're going to hate me. I was just about to say something. I'm not going to say it. Wait, but should I say it anyways? What? And then I'll cut it out. On Call Her Daddy, I will admit that I enjoy vanilla sex.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
i think that's okay like you're not trying to like like boring sex like you're not trying to like swing from the i think that's totally fine what's wrong with like fucking like like a good missionary and then like one other position go to bed what is wrong with nothing i don't need to fucking like literally do a helicopter background fucking right flip all over i don't want to do that i also like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I mean, listen, okay, yeah. There's moments when you can be crazy. There's moments when you can be fun. I get it. That's like once in a blue moon. In reality, it doesn't need to be like that.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
With guys or in general? Oh, both. Okay. With guys, I get the ick when just like any kind of like cockiness and bragging and like trying to like...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
signal that they're like successful to me this is not rapid fire with me nothing will ever be rapid fire with me i'm so sorry um being cocky and honestly when people like just have bad taste in like clothing and fashion i feel um not that i know around emma right now stop with my outfit i'm like no I'm not saying like, there's like a certain like, but they're like braggy about it.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
So like being cocky about like having bad taste, that's really icky to me. It makes me have the ache every time. Is that you? That's not you. You're always hot.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And who's also so gorgeous. So gorgeous. And dresses like the hottest.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It can never be short. Not technically, but like I've been in situations where it was maybe not right for people to be going out and they did. Fair.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
just like not be supportive of like things that I was doing like simple things like work stuff what I decided to order on a menu like just like being in a relationship where somebody was constantly disapproving of every little thing I was doing and like being genuinely mean about it good answer how is the relationship you're in now different from previous experiences with partners it's I mean so many everything about it I mean obviously being like best friends with
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
your significant other is the best fucking thing ever and i don't think that that's ever been true prior also like just the most like not like incredible i i can't even it's just like it's almost like when you're in a good relationship it's like you found somebody that's like a missing piece.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And like, they just have all the things that you wish you had and you learn from them and they learn from you and they treat you with respect and there's a mutual respect and it's like all these things and it's like also your best friend and then it all comes together and you're like, I don't have any complaints and I don't know how that's possible. You know?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I think that even for me, as a consumer of the internet, things are interesting when there's mystery around them. And because I don't ever confirm or deny anything,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
that's why I think it's so interesting it's almost like if I were to share it it would become possibly less interesting but the problem is that I want to protect the people that I'm dating or the people that I'm like even just lightly talking to or the people that I'm hooking up with like whoever it is at whatever given moment like even at whatever stage it's at I want to give them complete privacy and I don't
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I mean, for me personally, I'm like, I don't care. Like, I mean, I it's more like I'm concerned about how it affects them. And I don't ever want to, like, lose an opportunity to, like, have a good connection with somebody because my life style creates them stress. Right. And that's something I've like worried about in like relationships that I've been in that have been positive.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I'm like, I just like I'm scared that this is going to get out because I don't want them to feel violated and like they didn't sign up for this. Like, you know what I mean? And so that's why I keep it private.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But also if things come out or things are speculated about most of the time, people that I've been with or people that I haven't been with where it's been speculation and they're like, this is silly. Right. But I just decided to talk about none of it. Cause I'm like, if it's true or it's not, it doesn't fucking matter. Cause if I chime in about stuff when it's not true, then that means everything.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I don't chime in about smart. I just leave it all to the imagination. And honestly, it's kind of fun to see. It's kind of fun to see like what people assume. So yeah.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I would hope that people would say that in one way or another, like something that I said, something that I shared made them feel inspired or made them feel comforted in some way. Like that's my main goal is I want people to feel comfortable and heard by listening to me, but also kind of like safe in a way too.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
find what mediums and what things make me excited because I was in this hamster wheel of you know creating content every single week for four years and the thing that kept me coming back was the fact that that's It's literally like a disease.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Well, I think a lot of people who were following me at the time when they found out I was moving to L.A. were like, there she goes. You know what I mean? Like, there goes the girl that we fell in love with. She's about to die. You know what I mean? Like, she's not going to be here anymore. And I think to a certain extent that was a valid concern. And I think, well, okay, here's the thing.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It was such a huge life shift in my foundation and my reality changed so much that my sense of identity kind of went out the window and I was having to like rebuild myself. My new I mean, and this happens regardless of if you're moving to L.A. and doing YouTube or if you're just literally a teenager, you know, like there was a lot of shifting that was going on.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It was like I was making new friends. I was starting to try to date guys like I was like. like living on my own and, uh, like trying to figure out what that entailed. And like, there was so many life changes all at once that like a whole new group of people, a whole new scenery. It was just like, whatever my sense of identity was fucked.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And so when it came to like making videos, the shift from moving from home to moving to LA took such a psychological toll on me that I don't think I was willing to admit to myself at the time. But yeah, It was so exhausting to you know, find your footing in a new place, especially LA that like I was very drained just from life itself.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And so when it came time to like make YouTube videos, I was like, I am so fucking tired just from like existing here right now that I think my content at certain times throughout the first year and a half, two years of being in LA, like my content had moments of suffering because there were just moments when I was
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
my life itself was a mess and not even a mess in a bad way, just simply a mess where I didn't feel like I had a foundation.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I think the good is that there are so many people here that are in a similar industry. to me and to you it's so being here is nice because there's a lot of people around that can relate because it's a very unique situation and it's comfortable to be around people that are in the same industry as you but but well also another good thing about LA is that
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
you know, there's a lot more opportunities here and it's a lot easier. Like if you have to do a shoot for something or if you have to do an interview for something, you know, everybody's in the same area. So it's just a lot more convenient to get a lot more done because everything's here. It's either here or New York. And usually it's here.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Actually, a lot of people from New York fly here to do stuff. And so living here is very easy, uh, to get the most done. And I can't take that away from LA. Also LA, you know, it's like the weather's nice and like, you know, you're close to the beach. Like there's great things about LA, but I will say that there is a lot of toxic stuff about it. Number one being that you can't walk anywhere.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
That makes me really upset. Number two, that's like the stupidest thing to complain about, but it sucks. Um, number two. Being around people that are in the same industry as you is also not always the best thing because there's a lot of competitiveness. There's a lot of trying to, you know, use you to get farther. And that's something I didn't anticipate.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
You know, it's great when you can find someone here who is in the same space as you that, like... just wants companionship, but that's actually more rare than you think. Yeah. So there's a lot of room to get fucked over when you're being friends with people in your industry. And that's something that I really struggled with and experienced.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
When you start doing YouTube or you start a podcast or whatever you do, which I've been doing both now for two years or so, you're like, if I miss a week, I'm done. People are going to fucking forget. People won't care. And you guilt trip yourself into pushing through even the roughest moments because... I burped. Because... There's this stigma that like the second you take a break, you're out.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Oh, my God. It's been so many times. I mean, like, I... And sometimes using is not always a bad thing. Sometimes you can even find yourself being like, well, yeah, they're maybe using me, but I guess I'm kind of using them too. In certain types of collaborations, things like that.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But I think that's kind of different because usually when it comes to a collaboration of some sort, it's a mutual benefit. Sometimes it's not, though. And in those moments, you're like, okay, I'm not benefiting from this at all. This person's profiting off of...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
me in some way and I don't feel number one like it's having a positive impact on me and number two like I don't think that they actually care about me and so that's when it gets a little messy is when it's not a mutual thing and you can tell that they actually don't even care about you at all and you know It's a part of it. Again, like it's a part of it.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And so I, in retrospect, now that I'm far away from all people or all things that could ever put me in a spot where I would be used or would feel taken advantage of in some way, like now that I'm far away from those things and I can look back at those moments when I did feel that way and I was wrapped up in those things, I forgive because I understand that
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
you know, it's like, we're all just trying to prove that we deserve to have dropped out of college or to have dropped out of high school or to have moved to LA. Like we're all just trying to make it happen. And so if somebody thought that they could benefit from me in some way, yeah, that's not nice of them. But also I understand where their head was at and I'm able to forgive now.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
there was like a few instances where you know people would want me to appear in their videos for example and you know I would be like I can't today because like I need to be working and I need to like I have to be doing and they'd be like and you know maybe because they were more successful than me in some ways or whatever when they would be like you have to I would be like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
You know, and so I was young and very yes man when I first moved to L.A. So if somebody in these like YouTubers who are maybe more established, I think that they knew that they could kind of push me around a little bit, not only on camera, but off as well, just by, you know, like they just knew that I was really also still kind of a fan of everyone. I think they could sense that as well.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
knew that they could take advantage of me and that it would be fine and listen again it's fine like I get it but I'm also like but it still sucked and it it made me a lot less productive and it made me depressed because I felt like just an object in some ways which again I don't think that was their intent but I felt like I was just like a fucking drone a corporate drone you know what I mean like a YouTube corporate drone um
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
No, it hurts. Wait, why? Explain. Like, why does it hurt? Yeah. Well, you know, let's explain this for people who don't know what MagCon is. Basically... There was a group of really hot. Well, it's creepy to say that they're hot now that I'm 20.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
But like at the time, I thought they were the hottest guys I'd ever seen. They were on Vine doing absolutely nothing of substance. Right. Right. Which is fine. You know, like that's not their fault. Right. It's like TikTok.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
It's basically, it was like a group of like really good looking kids that were on Vine that were famous and they would like go on tours and do meet and greets and like meet all their young girl fans and like, you know, do weird shit on stage that made no sense because they really, if you think about it, didn't necessarily have some sort of talent except for actually Shawn Mendes was in MadCon and he is like now Shawn Mendes.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
So like it worked out for some of them. It was like Cameron Dallas and like Nash Greer. You know what I mean? I remember that. Yes. I was obsessed.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
with them like I and they had YouTube channels and I would rewatch their videos like every night before bed and I was like one day like I'll meet a Madcon boy and I'll be able to just date one of them they'll fall in love with me and like I was I think that's how a lot of people felt though oh for sure yeah but I will say that like my crushes as a young person were all consuming like they were not like cute little mini crushes like I was obsessed with
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
fiending for that i was fiending i don't it was weird like in retrospect i don't it's so out of character right like people would not assume that of me but i've always been somebody that like when i have a crush on so i'm not creepy i don't like stalk anybody but it is all consuming for me i get that because then you go spiral down like you watch every youtube video and you watch every single possible thing that you consume of that like interviews and everything everything and then you're invested in their life yeah and they don't even know who you are no well now they probably do
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
It was... I don't even fucking want to think about it.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
So I had an interesting experience with high school because basically I was a really... academically driven student. And so I was obsessed with the idea of going to a super prestigious college and I was willing to do anything to get there. And so when it came time to choose what high school I was going to go to, the public schools in my area were not great. And I wanted to go to that.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I wanted to go to a braggy, you know, super prestigious, impressive school. And I was like, I can't get that if I go to these public schools. So I was like, Mom and Dad, I want to go to a private school. And I went and I toured this all-girls Catholic school that had a really great education. And I was like, you know, this could actually be good. I really liked it.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
the environment when i toured the school and i was able to get financial aid so that i could financially go there because i would not have been able to afford it otherwise and so there i went i went to all girls catholic school um and i hated it after the first year and i was like i made a big fucking mistake and i haven't seen a boy in a long time and now those dick pics on kick suddenly i'm trying to fucking hack back into my kick to see those dick pics i'm like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I my dream school was Columbia, which was like not going to fucking happen. But like, you know, actually, I mean, I was a good student. Like, I don't know how I was a good student.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I like just knew how to do school for whatever reason. And so I got really good grades, like always above a 4.0 every year.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
i listen i don't fucking know how it's possible okay it was flex i was like really just i and i don't think that school is a great measure of intelligence i'll be the first one to say it um because i'm a fucking idiot in a lot of areas so like whatever but i was good at school so i was like i'm gonna use this and you know i wanted to go into the medical field like i wanted to be an anesthesiologist wow but like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
On what basis? One time I had anesthesia when I had a surgery and the anesthesiologist, see I can't even fucking pronounce the word.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I dropped out of high school so it's fine that I don't know how to pronounce it. I didn't finish my education so you can't expect too much from me. Like I got a surgery once and was like, oh, this job seems chill. And then I looked up how much they make a year and I was like, oh, this job's super chill.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I'm like, you have to go to school for like 11 years, but like... Eventually you'll get that check. Why not?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
No. Oh. It was not cute. No. Actually, you know, in retrospect... It was fine. Like, it could have been a lot worse. Okay. But it was pretty bad.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Basically, the all-girls school had a corresponding all-boys school. Yep.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And so we would kind of party with the boys from the all-boys school. And they had friends that they knew from middle school that were at other, like, co-ed schools. And then we knew other girls that went to...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
other co-ed school so it kind of all like congealed but I think that the thing that made it possible for the boys and girls to be together was the fact that both boy and girl schools were desperate for each other you know what I mean yeah so and and you know there was like a distinct like okay this is the corresponding boy school so it was like we didn't see each other every day but at football games we'd see each other and prom and things like that anyway
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I think that's what really like I was like, I don't even care what we talk about. Like, I need to do this because we just clicked so well. And we just like talked about so much random shit. And like. We just clicked so well.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I actually ended up kissing a guy from, like, a school that was probably 30 minutes away that, like, came to a New Year's party that we were throwing, like, the two schools. And it was extremely set up.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
You know, it was like, oh, he's outside waiting now. Okay, but you also have to, like, can we paint a picture? Like, I was a super late bloomer. I mean, I had, like, no boobs. Like, I looked really young. Like, it was, like... I looked super young. I always have. I even now look kind of young. A lot of people think I look young now. So I felt super... Also, I never felt like...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
mature enough for like this type of behavior you know what I mean because mentally I felt mature enough but physically I didn't I felt like I didn't fit the super feminine mold right where you like have like boobs and like you know you wear like a low top and like you whatever I could not participate in that so I felt so uncomfortable when it was time to do anything with boys because I was like I want to and
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Like I mentally feel ready, but outwardly I don't feel like I look ready. And I feel insecure of my appearance, even though I know that in my brain, like I'm ready and that I like love boys. And in fact, I'm like quite obsessed with boys. Like, but I didn't feel like I looked that way.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I was super insecure about my boobs. Okay. Because, which now I'm like, I love having small boobs. Like it's the best thing ever. Like I don't care. But you know, when I was younger, I like didn't have any boobs. Like it wasn't just like, oh. they're no, they flat. And you know, guys in middle school used to give me a hard fucking time about that.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Like calling me, you know, like a door, like whatever, like shit like that. And, um, which is fine. Like whatever. I'm friends with those kids now. Like I forgive. Um, but you know, it's good to, it's good to be forgiving. But I also like didn't get my period until I was 16 and I felt like I wasn't a woman without it. You know, I was like,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Well, I was always really obsessed with YouTube because as I mentioned earlier, I didn't have cable. And so I watched a lot of YouTube. And when I was like in fifth grade, I tried to make a YouTube video on my iPad. I wish we could watch it so bad. I need to find that iPad because it has so much good shit on it.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
But my cousins and I were constantly making little videos during family vacations, during holidays, like whatever. Constantly making little videos. There were these...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
iMovie trailer templates that you could use so you could make like a movie trailer but iMovie provided the template so all you had to do is like film little things and then they would plug it in for you and so we would do those all the time so I was familiar and comfortable in that sense where you know my cousins and I were always obsessed there is a big difference between recording something and then pressing upload on that shit like you gotta have balls to press upload for sure
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I'm like getting a facial done and getting my toes done while I'm at the table.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Well, my first YouTube video ever, I was in fifth grade and I was like, I don't care. I don't, I didn't even want to like be famous. Like I never thought I could like get any like recognition from it. I, To this day, I've always looked at fame as an impossible thing. So I was like, I'm not going to become famous from this. But I was like, even just a few people commenting will make me feel good.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Post. And then, of course, nothing happened. And then I deleted it a week later. That was my very first one. But then when I was 16 and I uploaded, I honestly...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
just i was in such a shitty spot that i was like i have nothing to lose like i'm so depressed i'm so unhappy i like i want to do something that makes me feel good and youtube has always made me feel good so i'm i'm just gonna post on there did anyone from your high school when they saw that make fun of you or like say anything mean behind my back yes but never to my face and i heard about people saying shit behind my back but it's like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Like, what were they saying? They were just like, does she really think anything's going to come of that? Which is... You know what? No, listen. Fair enough. Like, if I would have seen...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
someone from my high school posting on YouTube I number one I would have said the same thing about them I would have been like really like what's gonna come on you guys like it's not easy but on the other hand I was even saying that to myself it wasn't like people were it wasn't like I was posting YouTube videos being like I'm gonna make it big one day you know I was posting videos like this is just a hobby for me and like even if I just get a hundred subscribers like that's fun
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
like I just a little community and also I enjoy making the videos I enjoy the process of it so what happened after I pressed upload it was more just like well at least it lives somewhere when did you go viral so about about like two or three months after I started That's crazy. It was, you know, it was crazy. But I also think that a big reason for that was I was uploading every fucking day.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Like I was uploading every single day during the summer. And by the end of the summer, I had like something like 50 videos. And so I had such a
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
collection already that it was easy it didn't take as long because I was grinding I mean every day I was like I need to make a video every day and then I ended up cutting it down and I was like three days a week and then I cut it down two days a week and then I cut it down one day a week but it was like in the beginning I started and I was like I just want to get as good at this as I can as quickly as fucking possible and then when that one video did really well I was like it was this video where I went to the dollar store and I bought a bunch of like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
random shit and did like a fake haul like I was kind of like kidding around doing a haul and I was really proud of the video and it like after two weeks it had like half a million views or something or maybe it was like it had a hundred thousand views after like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
yeah and what when that was happening what were you doing like were you telling your parents what were you my parents my dad was like super interested he was like i think you could really do something with this actually and i was like okay i don't but thanks dad i was like dad like that is like one in a trillion like why are we why are we let's not go there because i'm just gonna get disappointed you know but he's like i don't know i'm like i think if you really get good at this like something could come of it when all of a sudden like so many people are watching
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Well, I think it was one of those things where, you know. I have been on the internet for so long that people know me as a teenager. Yes. And I'm 20. I'm about to be 21, which is still literally like a child. Like I still am like prepubescent. Like I know I'm 21, but whatever. Or almost 21. But I've been really trying to grow like in the public eye in a way because I can't –
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
You're like, I actually cannot comprehend this number of people. I can't comprehend the fact that all of a sudden now I'm making money. I can't comprehend
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
whoa like half a million people just watched that video yeah it feels it's like a different metric in your brain yeah like it's like you're looking at it in a different you're not looking at it as real people but you're also not looking at it as just a number there's this like weird in-between way that your brain processes it yeah but it's it's kind of i think i knew subconsciously that if i
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
looked into it too deeply and I thought about it too deeply that I'd psych myself out fuck myself over and ruin the whole thing so I was like I'm not gonna think I'm just gonna just tunnel vision keep going and like I did that up until probably the last three months when and it has been really uncomfortable when when you really like wake up and realize like oh shit this is the situation and
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
It's like I finally turned off my tunnel vision and it felt like everything was like that had been building for four years was now right in front of me and I had never looked at it. You know what I mean.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
So the summer of sophomore year, I started my YouTube channel because I was depressed and I was like, my dad was like, you need a hobby. I said, OK. So I started my channel. And by the end of the summer, you know, I was making money.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
and I was like and I've never made money you know and I was like oh shit okay this is actually pretty serious you know and I was loving it and people at school were like respecting me because I had they weren't being an asshole anymore some people still were but you know people were like excited for me and I was excited and junior year I was like okay I this is the year I take hard classes so I was taking like three AP classes and
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And long story short, it just was so I couldn't do schoolwork and YouTube. But I was like, obviously, schoolwork is more important. So I was like, OK, I'll just drop some of my classes and take easier classes. But then YouTube kept building and I was like. I already took all the... I'm just taking added shit to help me for college.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And I started questioning, okay, am I even going to go to college anyway? Now that this YouTube thing is going the way that it is, I'm making an income now. I can support myself now. All of a sudden, by the end of the summer, I was like, I actually could support myself. I don't... It changed everything.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And I was like, I don't think I need to be working this hard because I don't think I'm actually going to college anymore. I might try to... ride this out and then when this doesn't work out anymore then I can go to college even if I'm like 30 like who gives a fuck you know and so I
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
took one of those standardized tests and just left school like I kept basically dropping classes more and more until it got to a point where I was like I just don't need to be here because I'm not I'm number one I'm not learning anything that is necessary it was all stuff that was only really necessary for college I had already taken all of the classes that I needed to that were like normal high school level I was just doing added shit what's the point of that I was like this is stupid so
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I was out of there. How did you tell your parents and how did they react? Honestly, it was kind of their idea. It was kind of like... It was not just my idea. It wasn't like, mom and dad, I want to leave school. They were like, you're so miserable in school. You know... Well, actually, at first we were thinking about homeschooling me. Interesting. So actually, that was the first idea.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
stay a teenager in everybody's mind forever. But I think I needed to do some of that work on my own before I came on here and was like, let's talk about big girl stuff. You're like, so the Glock Glock? And I'm like, Emma. So the first time I tried the Glock Glock was a year ago. And you guys won't believe what happened.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
They were like, you... This structure is not working, right? And so we toyed around with the idea of homeschooling me. But then after doing more research, we were like, okay, actually, let's just cut it. Cut it. Because I know that I don't recommend people drop out of school.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And I think that my situation was very unique because I was fortunate enough to get all of my general high school education out of the way in the first two years. Right. And that's a really like, again, like it would have been irresponsible to leave if that had not been completed. And I and I always I actually have never said that out loud, I don't think.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
But I know it's kind of fun to be reckless and be like, I dropped out of school like fucked it. But it was it wasn't this super irrational, super irresponsible. I could have gone straight to college from that point that I was at. Got it. You know, so like I didn't need to.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
it wasn't fucking me over I completed my high school credits like I was done you know what I'm saying so how did your friends react when you told them like were you close with a lot of people in high school did you have a lot of friends the first uh year and a half of high school yes but towards the end no I only really had one friend and even and she like knew everything about
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Like she knew about how school was like affecting me negatively and how I just was depressed. So like I couldn't be social, you know, and I couldn't deal with the ebbs and flows of friendship. I just didn't have that in my head.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
in me and so she understood that and she was kind of kept up to date on like how things were evolving but she you know she was like she had other friends like she was so she was just like peace you know everybody was just kind of like peace I really just disappeared one day honestly if you could change one thing about that time in your life what would it be nothing
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I really you know I have a lot of moments in my life that I look back at and cringe at and I have a lot of moments that I regret like for sure and not regret that's actually completely the wrong word I have a lot of moments that I'm like damn I would do that so differently now but I refuse to ever even think about how I would change things because I Every bad experience has just made me me.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I think the thing that I sometimes get a little bit upset about is how quickly I had to grow up. And it sounds so... Again, like just so like, Emma, shut the fuck up. But I don't think I realized when I left school and immediately started working how there's no leeway for me anymore. You know what I mean? There was no room. for being a kid anymore.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
It was like, okay, no, you have to get your fucking act together because you're saying that you can make a living on your own and that you're gonna make this shit work and that you're gonna make it last and that moving to LA is a good idea and that being friends with other YouTubers is a good idea and having to do your own laundry and do your own dishes and cook for yourself and taxes.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
There's so many facets of it that you're like, oh shit, I didn't realize that this came with this. By quitting school and by just going straight into being technically self-employed, I was also saying that I could handle all those other things. My parents were very helpful with the technical stuff, but emotionally...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I would say at first, not much changed. It was really interesting because yes, I had a following on the internet that if you look at it, you know, like 100,000 subscribers, that's a fuck ton of subscribers, right? But in the grand scheme of the world, people didn't really, they're like, eh, we'll see you at a million. Like, you know, this is, whatever.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
My family was very skeptical, like my outer family. They were kind of like, what is going on? You know, and so they didn't treat me any different, but they were definitely just like curious. A lot of people were really curious, but I didn't really have any friends. So I didn't have any friends reacting to like what was happening to me.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Yes, but I really wanted once I started to you know turn YouTube into my job I Started to feel like I couldn't really relate to kids in my high school as well and so I was like, you know, I would still hang out with those kids and
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
we would have fun and like that was fine but there was a disconnect and so I started looking to find people that were in this space that could be friends with me and I ended up finding those friends and that was really awesome so like and we didn't live near each other but I made quite a bit
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
of friends on the internet that were doing the same thing and it was nice because there was a mutual understanding and also there was no weirdness there was no questions about it there was just like a unspoken understanding that was very special at the time there's always the moment when you start getting recognized in public yeah
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
So I go to Maine every summer with my family on vacation. And I had like 6,000 subscribers when I went the summer of sophomore year. Like 6,000 subscribers, OK? Which to me was like, oh my god.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
fuck all y'all i'm popping off i'm popping off y'all don't know me anymore i'm different now no but um so i'm i'm on vacation in maine and this girl comes up to me and like asks me for a photo now i had 6 000 subscribers i thought that this was a real interaction my grandma set that up no
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I'm already getting a big fucking head, grandma. Do not play with me like this. Holy shit. No, but it was sweet. It was sweet. That's actually so cute. It was hilarious.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
At first, I've actually gone through phases with it. In the very beginning, I was stoked. And I was like, this is so awesome. My dream was coming true, right? It was so fucking cool. And then, you know, I've gone through ebbs and flows where it's made me a little anxious. Because if I'm not in a good spot, I'll get anxious about not being in a good spot mentally. And I'm like, is this showing?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Like, I don't want... I started getting anxiety about giving these people the best experience they could possibly have meeting me. And then that kind of got into my head. But I didn't have that thought in the very beginning. So that came into play later.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I don't feel that I am. And I think that. Really? I mean, I've gone through the ringer. Really? In what way? Well, so there is like there's been chunks of time throughout my experience on the Internet where I've been like widely disliked. You know, whether people thought I was annoying or people like or.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
So I grew up in San Bruno, California, which is actually where YouTube headquarters is, which is ironic, a little bit of foreshadowing. I grew up with my parents. I was an only child. And when I was five, we're like already getting into my drama. No, when I was five, my parents got divorced and my mom moved like 20 minutes away from my dad.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Like it's interesting like there's just been periods of time when people have just not liked me and the general conversation around me has been negative. The thing that's really interesting about it is that I noticed this just from talking to other people in this space. A lot of people. They're so hyper focused on themselves as they should be. We're human. Right.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
So like I perceive you and I'm like, you're nobody fucking hates you. Right. But see you because I'm not seeing people giving you shit. Right. Whereas like you're not seeing people give me shit. Everybody gets shit. And so everybody, their own perception of their own career and like general likeness
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
is not right right it's skewed in a in a negative direction for everybody individually i look at any other personality on the internet and unless they're like genuinely yeah just a bad fucking person and everyone knows it unless that's what's going on generally like i nobody is going to see it except for you.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I mean, I would say that like when I was a lot younger, I edited in like a really like fast paced, like a kind of, you know, flashy way. And it was kind of like and I thought it was like funny and annoying. And that's why I liked it. I was like, I think this is just like funny and entertaining. And like, it's not serious, like whatever.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
But some people just found that annoying and were like, why the fuck do people want to watch this? Which I totally get because that's not everybody was going to like the style editing and my personality. I was a loud kid. I was a, you know, outgoing kid and people just thought I was annoying. So that was like one thing.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
But then also I think a big part of it was just like when you become successful, people just are going to nitpick just about anything.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And so and I understood that. I was like, I get it. Like I'm. You know, I'm a target and I understand that. And I think some of it might have been from jealousy and some of it just might have been from like people just simply not enjoying me. And like, that's fair, but it doesn't make it not hurt. You know, I can't blame people. I get the culture of the Internet. But it still sucks.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
It's always that way. Yeah. You think you can and you might have a good moment where you're like oh this shit doesn't bother me but it always comes back. Is there anything that made you almost quit? I will say there has been a lot of times. Where I've almost quit.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Yes, I have had sex, Alex. There's a lot of room to get fucked over when you're being friends with people in your industry. And that's something that I really struggled with. This person's like profiting off of...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
me in some way i don't think that they actually care about me and these like youtubers who are maybe more established they i think that they knew that they could kind of push you around push me around a little bit not only on camera but off like you are using me i can tell fuck you
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And that was actually not a super bad experience because I was so young that I just didn't really know any better. I was definitely a really bored kid because I was an only child and like my parents were both like fully working parents. And so I had a lot of time by myself and I was very bored a lot of the time, which I think is... good.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
If I went and addressed every fucking rumor, every fake blah, blah, blah, blah, blah about me, that would be actually my full-time job. I just feel so out of control of the public perception of me. I remember my ex-boyfriend, one of his friends was like, dude, she doesn't actually like you. I don't think she actually likes you. I think she likes girls.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
In retrospect, I think it was good because it made me a lot more curious, I would say, because I didn't have a lot of distractions. You know, it's the Silicon Valley. It's a big tech area and a lot of kids there are super smart. And there's this
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Yeah. Why are you here? Okay, well, number one, Alex.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
crazy pressure to go to a really good college especially Stanford is like you know the big school there that everybody tries to go to and there's also a lot of wealthy families too and like so a lot of people assume that if you live there you're wealthy but that was not the case for me and my family at all but a lot of people there are very wealthy there's like a very big gap I would say between it's like very very very wealthy and then like very like lower middle class and like not
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
definitely an in-between for sure but not as much an in-between it felt like there was a very stark difference but I I've you know my dad's an artist so like I felt more on the you know lower middle class side of it which was tough but did you feel like your family didn't fit in For sure. We're living in a one-bedroom apartment, and all my friends at school are living in these massive mansions.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I'm a big fan. Like I've been a big fan of you forever. I don't know how, like I wish I knew my discovery story of you.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
It was tough socially, I would say. I didn't want to have people over, that's for sure.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
So we'll start with my dad. My dad is very... open-minded and creative, but also very wise. Dad, this boy's the love of my life. And he's like, Emma, that's the worst dude I've ever met. You're like, really? I'm like, Dad, what the fuck? He's incredible, Dad. I'm like, but he's so hot, Dad. What are you talking about?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
No, but he's very open-minded and very sweet and very creative and not super controlling or super... pushy or anything like that but he also is opinionated because he has a lot of knowledge and wisdom about things so he's not sweet and creative in the way that makes him a pushover. He'll tell me what he thinks. But he also gives me the freedom to make the mistakes. And he's always done that.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And he never judges me. But a very, very cool man. The coolest person I know. I mean, he paints paintings and surfs every day. And that's his job, is painting paintings and selling them. And started making YouTube videos before I did. He's very cool, right? My mom is... How do I describe my mom? She's like one of the girls. You know what I mean? She's very... It's lovable. I tell her everything.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
honestly you're like don't don't drag me like that I did let me tell you like I I found you when things were very sexual yeah and I learned a lot wow yeah that makes me so happy yeah so like that's how I found you I think I I was really just like looking for advice on how to be crazy but then like in turn I fell in love with you oh my god so we're just this is a big love fest it's such a love story how we're in love with each other I know
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Like, everything. And I have no hesitation. Like, she knows everything I've ever done in my whole life. Got it. So I'm very, very close with her. But we're more like sisters, I would say. Like, you know, we used to butt heads a lot when I was growing up. And, you know, because she's picky. She's very, like, likes to keep the house clean and, like, set things folded a certain way.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And she's very particular about things like that. Very meticulous woman. about everything that she does, which is a very admirable quality. But when you're growing up and you don't know how to fold a blanket properly, it can cause some problems. Absolutely. But no, at the end of the day, we're very close. And even when we do fight literal sisters, she's always there.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I'm really lucky that my parents have always been very... Not like traditional parents. Like they're very sibling like. OK. And I think it's because they didn't even consider themselves to be the type to be parents ever. And so they had me because they wanted to. But they were like, we don't fit the parent mold. So we're just going to do it in our own way. And it's been great.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Well, you know, I think in one way, and this is no one's fault, right? Like, I'm grateful for their divorce. And I'll say that before I, like, go in and, you know. It was, number one, what was best for them and for their happiness. Number two, like, I never saw them fight. I never saw them argue. They divorced before it could ever become traumatizing in that way for me. And that's really mature.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And also they're still friends and they talk all the time. I mean, I'm really lucky in that way too. Like they get along great. Like they talk all the time and, and. They're so supportive of one another. So it's not been a negative thing in that way. But I will say that for one, not having a relationship to look up to when you're growing up.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
does become a little bit jarring when you're older and you're like, okay, I'm in my first relationship. What is this supposed to look like? I don't know. I've never seen it. Did you wish you had had siblings? You know, no, because again, like my relationship with my parents was so close because it wasn't, there was nothing in the way of it. Right. Like,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Each parent was not in the way of my relationship with the other parent. And also I didn't have a sibling in the way of my relationship with my parents. And listen, I think it could have been really fun to have a sibling. I don't know. I'll never know. Right. But I liked the friendship I was able to develop with my parents in the closeness.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And I don't think I would have had that if I had a sibling.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I had two older cousins. Well, I have two older cousins. They're three years older than me. And they were like my idols, you know, growing up. And they got Snapchat. And they're like, Emma, babe, it's time to download Snapchat on the iPod Touch. And I was like, you got it, girls. Let's go. And so I downloaded Snapchat. And, you know, we would just send each other silly stuff back and forth.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Pretty soon after that, Instagram came out and I was like, all right, here we go. So I downloaded that, too. I think my cousins told me to download that, too. And my first post was a picture of a mini bag of Cheez-Its with like some crazy ass filter on top of it. And I think my caption was something like crunchy, yum.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
So weird. Like I would, I would do anything to be able to find my old Instagram. I don't know if I would. No, I would.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Honestly, they didn't care. Okay. Like really... Just never brought it up. Like, they didn't care.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I was a really good kid. I had... Because of my anxiety as a kid, I think I had a really strong conscience. Which is good. You know what I mean? I never... did anything bad without my parents finding out about it 24 hours later. Got it. So they knew that I would tell them like if I did something wrong, my conscience would force me to report it back to them. Got it.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I don't know what that stems from. I don't know why that is, but. I was very transparent with them. And so when it came to things like social media, they were like, she's not, she's not, she's just not a bad kid. Like she's just not going to do bad shit on there. And, and I did it because I just didn't even know how to do bad stuff. I'm like, I like didn't know what bad stuff was. Right.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Um, I did have a kick that just reminded me. I had a kick that I used for, um,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
like just kids at school messaging kids at school I forgot and then I would get like dick pics and kick and then I got super scared like so was that the first time you saw a penis yeah terrifying oh I was so fucking great I was like I don't actually think I am sexually attracted to anything you're like I do I do not know what I like but I don't like that I don't like that and so like who
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I was scared of penises until probably like I was 16. OK. Like seriously like I was like I'm not scared of them but I was like that is such a for like it was so alien to me. Yeah. Cause I didn't have siblings. So it's not like I had a little brother where like, I like saw him growing up and like, I saw a boy like exist. I didn't have a lot of guy friends.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Like, so to me, like a penis, I was like, I, I can't, I don't know what that is. I get scared me.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Well, I have to give a few from the years. Give it. Okay.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
my first youtube obsession was fred do you remember fred oh my iconic iconic i completely forgot about that well i like got on youtube super young too because like you know my dad was into youtube he was posting singing covers on youtube when it first came out and so he found out about it and was like emma this is great and we didn't have cable so he's like here you go little one you know you don't get cable but you do get this babe enjoy it's a pretty good trade
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
No, it was great. I loved it. So I got super into YouTube super young. Loved Fred. Then as I grew a little bit older, it was Jonas Brothers for me in Hannah Montana.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
It kind of teetered between Nick and Joe. Sorry, Kevin. Honestly, Kevin's... Kevin's coming back. No, Kevin, he's a fucking angel. He deserved...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
devastated and everyone was obsessed and it was like we were like we will do anything to save him anything like it was so dramatic no i know okay so you had jonas brothers you liked miley i loved hannah montana miley all of that um okay i have to bring this up because it's so fucking funny okay um but like when i was like 12 13 and vine came out i was a huge mad con girl Okay. That's okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
Listen, I'm not a scientist, okay? I'm not a biologist. I'm not a chemist. I'm not a physiologist. I don't even know if a physiologist is a real thing. I have no idea, okay? But that doesn't mean that I don't get to have a hypothesis every once in a while. And recently, I found myself obsessing over a hypothesis that I have. as though I am a scientist.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
I actually cannot perceive this woman for another instant because I'm exhausted. I don't need to see this woman anymore. It's me. But, you know, I'm exhausted by myself in a way. I'm fatigued by myself. In this sort of like inner conflict where it's like I have a split sort of identity in a way like Hannah Montana. Oh, my God.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
See, I'm already like preparing myself to get just fucking ripped apart for this. But I'm talking about my experience. You can rip me apart all you want. I'm fucking used to it at this point. As a result of this sort of dual identity. where it's like on one hand, I resonate with my life for the first 15 years of my life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
And then on the other hand, you know, my current reality is very, very different. And I also, you know, have a connection to that sort of reality. That confusion has led me to have many existential crises about my career. You know, I've thought a lot about things like red carpet events or fashion week.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
I'm like, I've spent a lot of time attending these things that I enjoy attending and I actually benefit from in a way. But I've spent so much time doing that that I haven't spent as much time doing things like figuring out how to make making YouTube videos something that I can do consistently that like mentally is also sustainable, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
Like where my brain doesn't explode because filming my everyday life like I used to when I was younger is something that was unsustainable for me mentally and I would have mental breakdowns all the time. So I was like, okay, well, even though this should be the easiest job in the world, for whatever reason for me, it's not. So I need to figure out something else. But anyway, I feel like
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
I've just been doing all this stuff that people do when they're famous. Go to red carpet events, go to fashion weeks, do all this stuff. I'm still going to do stuff like that sometimes, but I need to be more intentional with my time. And I don't know, I feel like this craving to sort of return to self because... this sort of existential crisis about fame in the industry of fame.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
I'm like, I just want to go back to like doing what I always did, you know, talking to a camera like I'm doing right now. And while talking to a camera and into a microphone like I'm doing right now, or, you know, making YouTube videos or whatever, like I just want to do that. But this is honestly not the point of this episode at all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
I totally went off on a tangent about what I've been personally feeling. But I do think it's relevant because, My feelings towards the elements of my career that are directly related to celebrity culture, I think reflect how everyone's feeling about celebrity culture. It's just a little bit different because... I'm involved in it in a very intimate way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
I would say now more than ever because, I don't know, anyone can be famous with the internet, of course. I briefly paused this episode of Anything Goes to let you know that this episode of Anything Goes is presented by Amazon. Getting sick is horrible enough. The getting better part shouldn't be horrible too.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
So in the same way that people are like, I don't care about what people wear to red carpet events anymore. I don't care about watching award shows anymore. I don't care about this or about that. I'm also kind of like, wait, do I care about that? I don't think that for me, I'm like, I'm never going to do that again. I love going to a red carpet and getting dolled up and being social.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
For me, there's a lot to benefit from that. And same goes for a fashion week. I love fashion. I like the art of it. I love going to the shows and getting to go is incredible. However, I think... for many years, it was a priority for me to, you know, go to these sorts of things because in my head, I was like, if I'm invited to this type of stuff, like, of course I'm going to go.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
And now I'm reevaluating and I'm like, I think moving forward, I'll go to this stuff when it feels right intuitively. By the way, like, it's my career and no one's telling me this or whatever. This is just the conclusion I've come to. I'm ready to go back to my roots a little bit. You know, I'm feeling kind of fatigued by that whole situation and with everyone else, right? And that leads me to
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
Why does everyone hate famous people so much right now? Why? What could potentially be the reason? And I've done a lot of thinking about it. And I have some potential ideas on how we got here. Starting with traditional celebrities and influencers swapping roles and it not working, okay? Let's discuss. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Skims.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
You got to check it out. And without further ado, Let's go back to the episode. The allure of the traditional celebrity, I would say, is a mixture between talent, musical talent, acting talent, directing talent, whatever, and mystery. I think the combination between extraordinary talent and a bit of mystery is what makes celebrity, traditional celebrity, feel so exciting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
It automatically puts the celebrity on a pedestal, which benefits both the celebrity and the audience. The celebrity gets the work-life balance. You know, they're not constantly giving themselves to the world. They give themselves in controlled spurts, right? They're, you know, working on a project and then doing a press run and then they disappear and they're completely isolated.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
removed from, you know, the public. And then the audience gets to look at someone who's inspirational in a way that's almost godlike. I think both the celebrity and the audience benefit from the celebrity being on a pedestal and the celebrity being this sort of Perfect role model. Right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
Obviously, the celebrity is not a perfect role model, but it's fine for the celebrity because everybody loves them. So that's a positive thing. And it's fine for the audience, because even if that person is not really as great as the audience thinks that they are to try to strive to be great like this, you know, celebrity, that's not a bad thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
I mean, I think, you know, these types of situations are not black and white. But I would say for the most part, that structure works pretty well. And it has worked really well in the past. I mean, again, celebrities have always been our punching bags to an extent. But I think it used to be better. The celebrity audience relationship used to have more of a sort of homeostasis.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
You know what I'm saying? It used to be more balanced and functional. So what happens when the celebrity ruins the mystery by becoming sort of an influencer, you know, showing their real life? making a YouTube channel, becoming an influencer. What happens then? For better or for worse, the illusion dies.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
And I think that that can sometimes be a good thing for some, you know, traditional celebrities. And I think sometimes it can be a bad thing. It just depends on the how the audience reacts, which is completely uncontrollable and unpredictable. I feel like mainstream celebrities in the past, their role has been sort of more of a fantasy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
And I'm not saying that like that is the only way to do it, right? But I think that it's worked really well in the past. And I'm just, listen, I'm just presenting a potential idea. Celebrities becoming influencers, right? might sort of ruin the fantasy. And I think a lot of people like the fantasy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
They like the feeling that, you know, mainstream celebrities are these sort of like godlike, talented, extraordinary, mysterious, hot, gorgeous, incredible, timeless beings. You know, there's something fun about that. And if you start to see their everyday life, you're like, wait a you see them as a normal person and it sort of ruins the excitement.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
But then on the other hand, it works for influencers, right? That's influencers' entire job is to just talk to the camera and be a friend to the audience. So you might be asking, well, if it works for influencers, why doesn't it work for celebrities? I think it's because traditional celebrities are do not live normal lives, right? They are having really unusual experiences.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
Now let's get back to the episode. So that's my hypothesis, okay? And it's a hypothesis because I don't know that for sure. Here's the deal. Let me share with you what I've observed in the world, okay? What got me to this hypothesis? Number one, on social media, okay, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter X, I still call it Twitter, even though it's, I don't know, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
They have a lot of money. They have a lot of resources. They have a very unusual lifestyle. And I think the average person is like, I don't want to hear about that. You see what I'm saying? So it is perhaps better for mainstream celebrities to sort of keep
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
their lives a bit more mysterious because maybe people don't really want to see the real lives of celebrities because it seems a little bit too easy or too glamorous or whatever. I don't know. Again, I'm just hypothesizing here. On the other hand, the allure of influencers is that they're real people. They're human. They're relatable. They feel like a friend to the audience.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
This is how I started my career on YouTube, being a normal high school girl. Influencers are usually just random people who happen to have some sort of charm or some sort of differentiating factor that makes them famous unexpectedly.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
Not really because they're good at any particular thing, but just because for whatever reason, there's something about them that makes them fun to hang out with virtually, you know? Now, this is incredible for the influencer because they get to be themselves as their job. Easy, right? Well, what happens when an influencer becomes rich and famous? The audience feels betrayed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
They're like, that's my friend. And now... They're famous and they're going to red carpet events and they're hanging out with people that I perceive to be as like mysterious godlike creatures. And now my favorite influencer is over there with them. I don't even recognize this person anymore. I don't feel close to this person anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
And then, you know, the influencer is like, well, I can't share my day to day life anymore because I'm I've gotten to a point where I'm a public figure and I don't feel safe showing the grocery store that I go to every day. I don't feel safe showing the coffee shop I go to every day. I don't feel safe sharing my day-to-day life. I don't even feel safe videoing myself in my house.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
Now I have stalkers and there's people sending me weird letters and there's all these things happening. And people are taking photos of me when I'm at the store. And now I don't feel as safe to be as open online anymore. And all of this happening at the same time makes the audience angry at the influencer. So I guess to sort of wrap up this whole point, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
I think celebrities are trying to be influencers and influencers are trying to be celebrities. And I think that there's a chance that it's not working. And I'm fully... an example of an influencer going and doing celebrity stuff. You know what I'm saying? And I've experienced the feeling of betrayal. People feel at times betrayed by me. And I get it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
But I also understand that, like, from my perspective, you know, in my defense, I'm like, but these are cool opportunities. And like, I want to take advantage of them. And I think, you know, more recently, I'm sort of figuring out, OK, what can be a good healthy balance because I think, you know, I swung a little bit too far in one direction and, and extremes are not, are never good. Right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
And so I think I'm coming back home, but it's taking a bit of time to recalibrate. And, and that's something I have to be patient with myself about because I, You know, I'm doing my best, but it's confusing. So, you know, I'm guilty of this. I'm not blaming myself for it necessarily, but I'm aware now like, oh, I don't think that that's working. Or at least I don't think it is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
Another reason why I think people are hating famous people is because the wealth in lifestyle that famous people tend to show off is is not aspirational anymore. It's annoying. A lot of people are really annoyed. They're like, I don't want to see your private jet. I don't want to see your vacation house. I don't want to see your expensive clothes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
Reddit, which isn't really social media but is sort of a pop culture conversational platform, I just feel like there's more hate than ever. Okay? There's always been hate. But I'm noticing... A lot of celebrities turning off their comments, limiting their comments. When it comes to engagement, I'm noticing engagement on the biggest celebrities in the world is...
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everybody hates famous people [video]
I don't want to see, you know, the fucking like 10 course meal you just ate. I don't want to see the $2,000 bottle of champagne that you're drinking. Like, I don't want to fucking see that anymore. I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted and I'm working really hard and I don't get to have what you're having and it doesn't feel fair. And I don't want to fucking see it anymore.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
And I completely understand that. That makes complete sense to me. I think as the state of the economy changes, people's feelings towards aspirational living changes, right? When the economy is in a really comfortable... I mean, I guess maybe the economy is never in a comfortable place. I'm not an economist, so don't ask me.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
But when the economy is in a solid place, I think people are probably more excited about seeing something aspirational because they feel empowered and they feel... the general population feels more comfortable financially. So they can look at these things and maybe even see themselves in it. I could work up to that one day.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
But when the economy is maybe in a rough patch, people don't want to see flexing. They don't want to see the private jet. They don't want to see the vacation. They don't want to see the closet tour. They don't want to see it. And again, that makes total sense to me. Another issue I think is overexposure. Because of the internet, we see famous people all day long.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
It's not just like, oh, it's the end of the day. Let's crack open a magazine and... read an interview in the Rolling Stone or like, it's the end of the day, let's turn on MTV and watch some music videos. Me like being born in 2001, I have no clue like if people even did that. I think so. We see what famous people are doing all day long.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
We go to the bathroom in the middle of the workday, for example, we open the phone, we're scrolling, we're seeing. We're seeing who's on vacation. We're seeing, you know, what somebody just bought at the store. Like we're seeing constantly. And I think overexposure causes fatigue and annoyance and frustration. Like if I hang out with someone too much, I start to absolutely fucking hate them.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
And then, and they probably start to hate me too, by the way. And then, you know, I maybe go a week without seeing this person that I'm fatigued by. And then suddenly I just can't get enough of this person again. Yeah. Like, it's so normal, so human to have a little bit too much of someone. And I think nowadays we see celebrities way too much to a point where we're starting to hate them.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
Overexposure. In addition to that, there's too many famous people. The internet has made it possible for absolutely anyone to become famous. which is how I became famous, by the way. I am absolutely a product of that, okay? And I'm eternally grateful for that opportunity. And I think it's absolutely incredible.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
And so I'm not trying to shit on it, but at the same time, because everyone has access to fame now, there's no gatekeeper anymore because the gatekeeper used to be industry. You know, like you have to audition for movies. You have to try to get signed to a label. Otherwise you're not gonna be Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
on average, from what I've noticed going down, it seems that people are hating on celebrities more than ever and engaging with celebrities less than ever on social media. That's what I'm noticing. And I find it really fascinating because five years ago, the love, the excitement, The likes, like, it was massive. Like, you know, I'm talking about for the top celebrities in the world, right?
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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And we find a likable, charming, normal person, turn them into an influencer until they have a big house in LA, and then we tear them down to the ground too.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
It just felt huge. And I feel like even the... Most famous people in the entire world are getting less likes, less comments than they ever have before. And, you know, as somebody who's in this industry, I find that fascinating. I'm talking about every single celebrity for the most part, with maybe like two or three exceptions. It's very fascinating to me.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
I've also noticed people just don't seem to care as much about what's going on with celebrities. And by that, I mean, I feel like people don't really care about if a celebrity is on a vacation or if it was a celebrity's birthday or if a celebrity made a new project. I feel like, like, I can't explain it, but I just feel like the excitement is down. Do you know what I'm saying?
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everybody hates famous people [video]
And this process continues over and over and over and over and over again for the remainder of time, leaving celebrity culture and fame to be sort of this terrifying hamster wheel for the remainder of time. There will always be celebrities. But I think in this scenario, it's not going to hold the same weight. You know, it'll never hold the same weight again.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
The magic of Hollywood will never recover. We will still have musical albums, movies. maybe even certain personalities that we return to time and time again. But our obsession will be contained more to the individual projects rather than the celebrity as a whole, because perhaps our trust in famous people will be gone. Just an idea. I'm literally just, I have no idea. I'm hypothesizing, okay?
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everybody hates famous people [video]
Last but not least, scenario four, okay? This is all an illusion. Celebrities are always hated, and they've always been hated. It just feels different now because the media landscape has changed so much. But if you were to step back and look at the last hundred years of celebrity, perhaps they've always been absolutely despised.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
Perhaps we're just romanticizing the past because that's what we do as humans. We remember fondly. There's a chance that nothing has drastically changed and rather this is just a normal cycle in pop culture that will eventually become less severe.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
Maybe we're having a little bump in hatred, but we've been having little bumps of hatred and little bumps of love, you know, teetering back and forth for the last... how many hundreds of years since famous people have existed, which I think famous people have existed for a long time, very, very long. Perhaps this is just a normal cycle that seems extreme because number one, I'm living through it.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
And number two, because the landscape has changed so much because of the internet. Perhaps everything I just said was completely inaccurate. But isn't that the beauty of a hypothesis? I think it is.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
With all of that being said, I think that this is sort of a fascination for me in the same way that like they say that women are obsessed with watching crime documentaries because it makes them feel more prepared for if they get in a situation where they're about to be a victim of a crime.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
I feel like that's why I'm so fascinated by celebrity culture and pop culture and all of this stuff because maybe I don't want to be a victim of it. And maybe if I analyze it to this extent, I'll be more prepared and I won't be. But I think it's up to you. Well, in the case of being a victim of celebrity culture and pop culture, I think that's up to me for the most part.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
Being a victim of a senseless crime is a little bit different. I don't know. I'm so curious. I'm curious about what you all think. So let me know on social media at Anything Goes. You can find Anything Goes anywhere on social media at Anything Goes. And let me know what you think. That's all I have for today. I hope you all enjoyed this episode. If you did, tune in Thursdays and Sundays.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
Anything Goes is anywhere you stream podcasts. also on YouTube, also on social media at Anything Goes. Find me pretty much everywhere at Emma Chamberlain and find, yep, here we go, my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee at chamberlaincoffee.com and at Chamberlain Coffee on social media. If you're wondering what I was drinking today...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
While I was recording, I was drinking a matcha sample that's unreleased. And I'm actually really sad about it because it's really good. It's a flavored matcha, like an infused matcha. So it's like normal green matcha powder, but it's infused with oils or something to make it, you know. And it's so good, but I don't know when it comes out. You know what? I'm not fucking selling you anything, okay?
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everybody hates famous people [video]
Because this isn't even a product that we're selling. It's just a sample that I like. Okay, that's all I got. I love you all. I appreciate you all. It's always so much fun. Just really shooting the shit with you all. And I'll talk to you soon. And goodbye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
Like, people just don't seem to care as much. What people seem to care more about is when there's drama. Like, when there's drama, be sure that the numbers... will be up. But if your favorite celebrity is on vacation and posting photo, like no one cares anymore. But that used to be like a big deal. Like, oh my God, so-and-so, look at them. They're in Paris. Like, I don't know.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
But again, not a biologist, not a chemist, not a physiologist, if that's even real. Rather, a new kind of scientist. Rather, a pop culture scientist. What is my hypothesis, you may ask? Well, let me share with you. My hypothesis is is that right now, today, people hate famous people more than they ever have before in history.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
It just, everything that celebrities did used to be exciting. And I feel like even the most exciting celebrities are not maintaining that interest as much anymore. That's just something that I'm feeling, okay? Again, this is a hypothesis, okay? These are observations I've made. I have not done the scientific testing. I'm just observing, okay?
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everybody hates famous people [video]
I feel like this next point is sort of a combination of the first two, but just like a general fatigue around celebrities. I feel like everybody is tired of hearing celebrities talk, tired of finding out that their favorite celebrity is not the most morally perfect human being in the world. And I'm not talking about like actually like a genuinely bad person, like a criminal or something.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
I'm just saying like, you know, a celebrity yelled at a waitress or something and you find this out. And now, you know, it's like, well, there's another one who has failed me. I feel like that's the general tone of people about celebrities fatigue. That's really palpable to me, to me. OK. Moving on to a lot of really unfavorable news stories about a lot of celebrities.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
I'm not in the mood to get into that right now, but that definitely doesn't help celebrity culture as a whole, right? It's just not looking good on the news. Okay, we're finding out some stuff that's not so good. We're finding out things that are a little bit not good, and that doesn't help anything.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
I'm also noticing a lot of, you know, video essayists on YouTube, pop culture commentators on TikTok or Reels or whatever, talking about the downfall of celebrity culture, the death of Hollywood, why everybody hates influencers, et cetera, et cetera. Like, you know, just lots of content in discourse.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
among sort of influential commentators and opinion voicers, as well as, you know, viewers commenting, agreeing with the video, it's starting to feel like everybody agrees. And last but not least, I was doing research for a podcast episode. Not even research. I was actually brainstorming podcast episode ideas. And I have sort of random ways that I come up with ideas.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
Like I'll just go on Reddit and like click on random recommended threads and just see what people are talking about. And sometimes that'll give me ideas or I'll Google search random things like, you know, top moments of 2023. You know what I mean? Like, I just like will Google random things and just try to read them.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
random stuff and see it's a very weird method okay like I honestly shouldn't explain it because it doesn't make me look good but one thing that I randomly googled okay was I'm not even kidding overrated things or like the most overrated stuff That was something that I Googled to spark some ideas. And Google's been doing this thing where, like, AI generates an answer for you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
And so AI generated a list of the most overrated things. And celebrities... and influencers were both on that list. That was AI generated for me. Thank you, Google. To me, I feel like people just really are over famous people and celebrity culture. Like people really are absolutely sick of it. So those are the observations I've made in the world, right?
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everybody hates famous people [video]
But I've also been feeling some complicated feelings on a personal level because I'm also in a really weird position in relation to this particular topic, right? Because on one hand, some people would consider me to be a famous person. It depends on what your definition of true fame is. I'm not a traditional celebrity, obviously. I'm not an actor. I'm not a singer. You know, I'm not a politician.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
And that's saying something because I do believe that famous people have always been our communal punching bags. We've always hated famous people, whether it was politicians or controversial celebrities or even... just annoying celebrities, I feel like we've always hated famous people. And I say famous people instead of celebrities because I am sort of talking about any type of famous person.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
Some people would consider me to be an influencer. Other people would consider me to be a YouTuber. Other people would consider me to be an ex-YouTuber, which I do not think is true because I'm not that. But some people would consider me to be that because I'm not consistent on YouTube anymore, even though that was how I built my career, which is something I'd like to change.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
but I'm clearly, I clearly have a hard time with it for whatever reason. That's a topic for another day. But some people would consider me to be a podcaster because that is something I do do very consistently. Some people would consider me to be somebody who goes to fashion week for God knows what reason.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
Like to some people I'm famous, to other people I'm not, but I'm definitely a public figure in one way or another. Okay, so why my relationship to this is so complicated is because I built my career on being a normal girl. The reason why I believe that I have a career today is because I filmed my normal life as a teenager.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
And I did so in a way that was unusually realistic and honest for the time. And it worked and people liked watching it and people liked me for whatever reason. But then it worked so well that the industry got involved. I signed with an agent, and I got publicists, and I got lawyers, and I started making money, and I started doing brand deals, and all these things started to happen.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
And I was able to buy a house and then I was able to buy a nicer car and then I was able to buy nicer clothes. And now all of a sudden, I'm not a normal girl anymore to the public. To me, I still feel like a normal girl because I will always feel that way for the rest of my life, whether you like it or not.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
Whether you think that I am that or not, that is how I'm always going to feel to myself for the rest of my life. That is just how I perceive myself and that is what it is. However, now other people perceive me as a famous person who has a nice home and a nice car and all these things. And yet I still feel like a normal girl.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
So I perceive celebrity culture as though I'm a normal girl, even though I'm involved in it. But weirdly, I feel disconnected from the whole thing, even though I'm involved in it and I'm around other famous people and I'm involved. It's so bizarre. But
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everybody hates famous people [video]
As much as I'm in it, and I'm aware of it, and I'm not trying to say that I'm not involved in it, and even though you see me at the events and I'm photographed there, I'm just different. I'm not like other girls. I'm different in there. I'm different in there.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
I'm telling you that I genuinely in my heart of hearts just don't feel like I match the label or the identity of like a famous person because for majority of my life, I was not, I was a very normal kid. I didn't have famous parents. I didn't have wealthy parents. Like I just had a normal childhood. So like, and that's,
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everybody hates famous people [video]
majority of my life and how I grew up so I still do feel that way and again people can tell me that that's not like me anymore and whatever all good but I still feel like the same child that I was when I grew up because I really do think that like you know during the first let's say 15 years of your life, like that is so foundational. What happens then?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
And for the first 15 years of my life, I was a completely normal, living a normal life with a normal family, young woman. Okay. All of this to say, I perceive fame and celebrity culture from two polar opposite perspectives at the same time. Okay. On one hand, this is the industry that I work in. This is my job to be involved in this. So in some ways it's like, oh shit, this is not good.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
You know what I mean? Like, should I be worried about this? Like the culture around celebrity is really negative. Like as somebody who's in this industry, like what do I do to protect myself? What do I do? How do I handle this? That's one side. And then the other side is me being like, wait a minute, I'm also a consumer of pop culture and celebrity culture and entertainment and all of these things.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
That could be a mainstream celebrity, an actor, a singer, whatever, a politician. Nowadays, an influencer, a podcaster, an entrepreneur. There are so many different types of famous people these days that, I don't know, I feel like the word celebrity just makes everyone think of actor, singer, entertainer. And the industry of fame is so much broader these
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everybody hates famous people [video]
And weirdly, I'm also feeling fatigue in a way. I'm also feeling frustrated. I'm also feeling sort of disappointed, not by everyone by any means, but like I sort of understand that. where everyone's coming from. And it's very confusing for me. You know what I'm saying? Because I'm on both sides of the coin. I'm experiencing both sort of perspectives, both worlds at the exact same time.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
And it manifests in a very odd way in my life and career. I'm fearful of a lot. I think as a result, fearful to just speak my mind or say anything because I'm like, well, I don't feel like people really want to hear what celebrities have to say right now or famous people have to say right now.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
I'm frightened of things being taken out of context or seeming out of touch because there's things I say that are out of touch sometimes because I do have a really unusual sort of circumstance. So I absolutely say things that are out of touch sometimes. But yeah, like I have a hard time.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
I'm like, why am I, why would I put myself out there when I feel like people don't want to see celebrity right now? They don't want to see famous people. They don't want to hear from famous people. But then at the same time, there are always people who, who do. And so it's like, wait, Emma, who fucking cares? Like just, this is your job and it's your job to keep doing it regardless.
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everybody hates famous people [video]
Like culturally, you know, regardless of how things are going, this is still your job. And, and, and it's an incredible job at that. So just do it. Right. But then on the other hand, I'm like fatigued with myself. It's so confusing. Like I, I see, like, like I see photos of myself Or I see video of myself and I'm like, oh my God, I cannot see another minute of this woman.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I've been on this planet for 24 years now, and I've spent majority of those 24 years soul-searching and discovering who I really am. And I'm proud to say that at this point, I think I have a pretty strong sense of self. However, I'm of the belief that there's always more to learn and there's always more to discover.
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self discovery
You know, if they cry for a second and then they feel better, maybe I would sort of back off and let them be like they sorted it out on their own. But if they were profusely crying, if they were not letting up, I would say I would gently ask if there's anything I can do. Yeah. See, but that kind of scared, like, yeah, that's what I would do. You know what?
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self discovery
I think I would ask them if they're okay and if they need anything. I do think that that's what I would do. If they seemed like in a pro, like if they, if they seemed like that is what they would want, I think for the most part, I would do that. Okay. Next. Your friend is short a few bucks for their meal at a restaurant and you have plenty of money. Cover the whole meal. That's obvious.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Okay, that was easy. Next, if we offered you $500 right now, what would you do with it? Give it away to a charity, stash it away for a rainy day, spend it on something I've been wanting like a game or gadget, use it to spoil my friends or family. Listen, I'm all about charitable acts, okay? But it's kind of a weird question. If we offered you $500 right now, what would you do with it?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Sure, I'll donate it to charity. It's no different. But I also don't think you're a bad person if you're like, I'm going to stash it away, invest it, or I'm going to go buy that thing I've been wanting. I'm When it comes to money, I think it's okay to treat yourself or consider yourself and your own well-being first. Not everyone can afford to be charitable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I'm in a place where I can afford to be charitable. So yeah, I'll give that $500 away. No problem. But there's been times in my life where if I was offered $500, I'm fucking taking that shit. You know what I mean? For the most part, everybody wants to be charitable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
So I think that's more of a question that is less asking you about your morals and it's more asking you like, how much money do you have to just to, you know, give to others? Like, right? Do you know what I'm saying? Moving on. How often do you give money or food to homeless folks? Let's see. Number one, I never give anything to homeless people. Number two, I prefer to give to charity.
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self discovery
You never know what a homeless person might use the money for. Three, I give something when I can spare it. Four, I keep spare cash or food on me so I can give whenever the opportunity arises. I would say, I mean, personally, I usually tend to do things more through charity. So I guess that will be my answer. However, there are times in the moment where I've also given to a homeless person, but
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
eBay is where you'll find those one-of-a-kind, can't-stop-researching, stay-up-dreaming-about pieces again and again. I'm talking about that Miu Miu off-the-runway red leather bomber, that Cousteau Barcelona top with the cowboy on it, or that fleece in the 2017 colorway. All of these finds are on eBay. They even offer millions of main character pieces backed by authenticity guarantee.
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self discovery
Yeah, I'm going to say, I'll say the charity. Okay, next. Choose the option you most dislike. Seeing other people suffer, my own suffering, interacting with other people, seeing my enemies thriving. Listen, nobody loves to see their enemies thriving. No, I'm kidding. It's actually, that actually doesn't bother me. No, it does. No, I don't really have enemies. Oh my God, the truth is coming out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I don't like to see my enemies thrive. No, I mean, listen, if somebody's like fucked with you or wronged you and then you see them thriving, it's not a great feeling. I don't think there's anything morally wrong with that. But that's definitely not my least favorite feeling. I would say, ooh, this might be my most selfish answer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Choose the option you most dislike, seeing other people suffer, my own suffering, interacting with other people. That's a weird option, seeing my enemies thriving. I might have to say my own suffering is what I dislike the most and seeing other people suffer is a close second. Listen, if I said that seeing other people suffer is worse than me suffering...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
If you are the one experiencing the suffering, of course, like that is going to be the most visceral for you. I also strongly dislike seeing other people suffer. That's a very, very, very close second. But I do think that it's more challenging for me psychologically for me to be suffering. I think that's pretty, I don't know, maybe that makes me a bad person.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
We're going to find out with the results. But okay, where it's culturally expected, do you tip your waiter? Yes. Yes. Well, now I'm kind of, okay, there's two options. I'm stuck between yes and at least 20%. And the other option is yes, as long as the service isn't atrocious. I will say I've experienced some pretty bad service before, and it's been a real moral dilemma of whether or not I tip.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Nowadays, I always tip just because if somebody is like, if the service is really bad, they're probably just having a horrible day. I am morally conflicted about like enabling bad behavior. Like that is kind of challenging for me, but I also am like, you know what? This person's clearly struggling.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
At this point, I'm always tipping at least 20%, but in the past, you know, if the service was bad, I would tip lower because again, I didn't want to enable bad behavior. But I think as an adult now, I'm like, oof, I don't want to, this is how somebody makes their living. Like who knows what they're going through in their life. I'm just going to tip regardless. But
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
It's sometimes morally tough if you get treated like shit at an establishment. You're holding a banana peel and there's no trash can nearby. What do you do with it? Toss it on the ground, but then feel guilty about it? Hang on to it until I find a trash can? Keep it until I can compost it at home, anything for the planet. Or throw it on the ground without feeling even a little guilty.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
What's the big deal? I would hang on to it until I find a trash can. Realistically, I'm not keeping, I'm sorry, I'm not keeping the banana peel in my bag until I can compost it at home. I'm not doing that. I'm just not. Insult me, tell me I'm evil, whatever, but no. Next, have you ever ghosted anyone? Yes, I have. There was a slow taper to it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
You know, it wasn't like immediate, but yes, I have ghosted. I've, yes. My answer is maybe once or twice and I had a good reason. I'm going to say that. Sometimes it's like ghosting is the only option and it's like communication would almost be worse. Do you know what I mean? Actually, I don't know if I believe that. I think I'm just saying that right now because it serves my past actions.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
It's always better to communicate. It is. It's always better to communicate. But like, I don't think it's always the worst, most evil thing to ghost. I'm going to say I've ghosted once or twice. Okay, next. You're on a plane and a child seated behind you is kicking your seat. What do you do? I would say I'd put up with it for as long as I can.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
And then at a certain point, I would look around on the plane, probably, and see if there's any other option for a seat. Like, are there any open seats? If there are, ask to move to another seat. If there are no other options, maybe politely ask the parents if they can kind of do me a solid and just calm the kid down. Like, give the kid Cocomelon. Like, come on. You know, whip out the iPad.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
eBay is the place for pre-loved in vintage fashion. eBay, things people love. Now let's get back to the episode. There are 12 questions, starting with, how would you describe the way you walk? Okay, that's an interesting question. My footsteps can be pretty loud. I can be kind of noisy when I walk, but it's nothing major. My footsteps aren't especially loud or quiet, or I'm basically a ballerina.
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self discovery
It's not a crime. Okay, well, but those both are options. Ask the flight attendant if you can move seats or politely ask the kid or parents to stop. I would say I'd ask the flight attendant before I'd ask the kid or the parents to stop. Like I'd rather just not be confrontational. Again, being a parent's tough and I'm empathetic to that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
So I'd almost rather just move and have, I'd rather not be confrontational. Okay, next. Be honest. How do you handle criticism? I think for the most part, I'm pretty open-minded as long as it's constructive and fair. But I'm also willing to be like, you know what? I hear your criticism. I think it's valid. However, I don't agree. Like I actually stand firm in my original choice or whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
What I do not like as much, what I do not respond as well to is criticism that like goes below the belt. You know what I mean? I mean, I don't think anyone responds well to that. I wish I could say it just rolled off my back and I didn't think twice about it. And I'm so confident in myself that it didn't irk me, but it does. It irks me. And so I would say, how do I handle criticism in general?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I'd say I always listen closely and gratefully and ask myself if there's some truth to it. And then go from there, right? If I listen and I actually think it's valid criticism, then, you know, amazing, right? Like I just learned something new. I just became a better person. What a treat.
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self discovery
If I listen to that criticism and I'm like, this is actually rooted in some sort of weird hostility from this person. It's rooted in some sort of weird jealousy. It's rooted in some sort of desire to sabotage me because that absolutely happens with criticism. Then I'll usually get a bit upset about it, but I'll eventually let it go. And last but not least, how do you feel about lying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I don't love it. I don't love it. However, there are times when I think lying is fine. Like a little white lie here or there. And I'll give an example. Now there's a very fine line between a white lie and like a sinister lie to me. Like I will sometimes lie about being busy so that I don't have to do something. I don't have to hang out with somebody. I don't have to go to an event.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Like I will lie about that. I'll lie and say I have work or I have this or that. But I'm actually trying to break that habit and just learn to be honest and say, you know what? Like, I'm so exhausted. I'm so sorry. Like, I can't do dinner tonight. Or, you know what? Like, I just am not in the mood to get all dolled up. I'm so sorry. I can't go to that event tonight. Like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I'm really working on being completely transparent in my life because I think as I mature, the feeling of even a white lie is starting to feel wrong to me. But I'll still drop a white lie here and there or to protect others. You know, like, for example, if somebody is wearing something that I don't like, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Let's say somebody shows me an outfit that they are passionate about, they're excited about. They're like, Emma, what do you think? If I don't like it, sometimes it's better to just be like, it's so you. Like, it's so good. And you're so into it. Like, I love it, you know? I might not love the outfit, but I love that they're excited about it, right? It's a white lie. It's like, I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I think that that can be harmless. So I'm going to say lies are okay if they don't hurt anyone or protect other people. That's my answer. Okay, let's see my results. Let's see my results. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Hotels.com. I love to travel, and I love staying at hotels.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
There's nothing I love more than walking into a fresh, clean hotel room and just absolutely exploding in it, okay? Putting all my skincare in the bathroom, hanging all my clothes up in the closet, and really making myself feel at home. I also love going down in the morning for a buffet breakfast. But booking the right hotel can be hard work if you don't know where to look.
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self discovery
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self discovery
This could be you if you sign up at Hotels.com. Become a member for free and save on hundreds of thousands of hotels at Hotels.com. Now, let's get back to the episode. Um, okay. I'm not the greatest person in the world. Uh, my result is you're better than most. Okay. That's not bad, but it's not great. Um, let's read about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I'm totally quiet when I walk. Well, according to my downstairs neighbors, when I was a teenager living in an apartment with my mom, my footsteps can be pretty loud. I used to get the cops called on me for how loud I would walk across my apartment. I personally blame that noise on the lack of insulation in the apartment I grew up in.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
In the rankings of villain to Saint, you're definitely trending towards Saint. You're mindful of other people and know how to lend a helping hand when it's needed. Um, Sometimes you might be absent-minded or say things you don't mean, but hey, we're all just humans trying to be people here. All right, whatever the fuck that means. And we can't be perfect all the time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
What matters is that you do your best to do right by other people and continue to strive to make yourself and the world around you a better place to be. All right. You know what? I actually think this is pretty accurate because I am not like the most perfect saint that there ever was. Listen, I'm always striving to be a better person, but like I'm aware of my own shortcomings.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
So I actually think that's pretty accurate. I'm happy with that result. Let's move on to another quiz. How big is my ego? Yeah. Let's find out how big my ego is. All right, question one. Uh-oh, you made a mistake at work and now your team is working late. Ew. What do you do? Option one, everyone makes mistakes. The best thing to do now is take responsibility. Option two, I'm mortified.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Why do I always mess up? I'll apologize profusely and pull an all-nighter to make up for it. Three, oof, this is stressful. I really don't want to acknowledge my mistake, so I won't fess up. Or four, that doesn't sound like me. I bet it was somebody else. I'll get to the bottom of this. honestly, I would say I would apologize profusely and pull an all-nighter to make up for it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Like if I make a mistake, I am the one who's going to make it right because that's the only way to sort of cure my own conscience. Otherwise, I'm going to be overwhelmed with guilt. Like it's almost a relief for me to apologize profusely and to pull an all-nighter to fix it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Like that's actually what will bring me the most peace and also, you know, relieve everyone else of that burden that I've caused. But like part of the reason why I choose that is selfish because it's a relief for me. Okay, next. You're going through a hard time. How are you coping? Option one, I won't reach out to anyone. I'd hate to bug others with my silly issues.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Option two, I try not to show weakness around other people, but sometimes I can't help but break down. Option three, I'll reach out to the people who care about me. I know I'm resilient. I'll get through this. Option four, I'll handle it myself. My biggest fear is having to admit that my life isn't perfect. I am pretty good about shielding others from my challenges.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I try to use my time spent with other people as a distraction from my challenges. Obviously excluding my parents though, like my parents are on the emotional rollercoaster with me. But everyone else, I try to keep a healthy sort of boundary between my personal challenges and my relationship with them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Not to necessarily hide from them the fact that I'm struggling, but rather to, again, like use that time with them as a distraction. And also, you know, to keep the time we spend together fun, right? Like I like to have fun with people and I want other people to have fun with me. Obviously, it can't always be that way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Sometimes we're going through it so much that it all spills out in front of others and vice versa. You know, that's not always realistic. Sometimes we have to vent. I don't think it's necessarily bottling one's feelings necessarily. to sort of leave those things at the door when you hang out with other people. I don't think that's necessarily unhealthy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
It can be nice to have a sort of compartmentalized life at times. I have my support system, my parents, my significant other, whatever, my closest friends. But when I'm with everyone else, I just want to be normal. You know, like I think that's healthy, actually. So I'm going to say I'll reach out to the people who care about me. I know I'm resilient. I'll get through this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I'm only reaching out to the people closest to me. Everyone else, they don't need to deal with it with me. You know what I mean? Like I know who I can lean on for that type of stuff. Next, how often do you think about yourself? Option one, I never think about myself. Option two, all the time. I'm the most interesting person I know. Option three, it's probably about 50-50.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Like that building was old and there was no soundproofing happening. You know what I mean? So like, I actually don't think I'm that loud of a walker. I think the building had no insulation and it was creaky and squeaky. And every time you'd move... there was rattling and like, I don't think it was my fault, but I'm going to consider my old downstairs neighbor's opinion and answer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Option four, I prioritize my happiness. So I do think about myself, but I also make sure to be present for others. I actually like that last answer. I think that's true. Well, but I do think that I sometimes think about myself almost too much because, well, it's because my job is very much my personality in my life and who I am.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Like, I'm constantly thinking about my own life and my own experiences for this podcast. I'm constantly filming and editing videos of myself for my YouTube. I think about myself more than the average person by nature of my job. Uh, and sometimes I'm like, oh my God, I don't want to think about myself anymore, but because it's my job, I, I must still think about myself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
So I'm going to say it's about 50, 50, because I think it's a bit less intuitive than that final option, which is I prioritize myself. So I do think about myself, but I also make sure to be present for others. No, but that's actually true though. That actually is true. I'm actually going to say the last one. Okay. Next, your friend got a big promotion. What are you thinking?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
And so today, I thought it'd be productive to sit down and take some unreliable personality quizzes that I found online to learn a little bit more about myself. I don't know, like I feel comfortable with how I perceive myself. I know who I think I am, but online quizzes are gonna tell me who I really am.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I'm excited for them, honestly. When it comes to my friends, if they win, I win. You know, if I'm genuinely friends with somebody, I am happy when they succeed, no matter what. If it's someone who I have a complicated relationship with, like, say, someone who has wronged me in the past...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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someone who maybe like copies me or something like, or who copied something that I did and then they succeeded. Like that becomes a bit more challenging, right? I'm human. It's impossible not to struggle with that. I think the only people who don't struggle with that are people who are like so spiritual and like, so like, I'm not on that level yet. Maybe one day.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
If it's my genuine friend, I'm not jealous. I'm not, no, I'm just happy for them. I would say my answer would be, that's great. It's so fun to be in a big, successful friend group, myself included. All right, someone just corrected you. What do you do? To be honest, I usually make a joke about it. I find a way to sort of make a self-deprecating joke.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Like I'll be like, oh, well, I didn't go to college. Can you tell? You know, like there's always some sort of self-deprecating joke to make about I don't know. I don't mind somebody correcting me. I always want to learn. So if I make a grammatical mistake, if I say something that I think is a fact and it's actually not and I get corrected, that doesn't bruise my ego.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I think the answer that aligns with me the best is I'll double check their source, but if they're right, I'll accept it happily. I think that's me. Okay, moving on. You just got rejected by your crush. Where's your mind at? Ooh, I don't love this. I don't love this. This sucks. This sucks. But I'm usually like, I don't feel like my ego is as much bruised as I'm sad. I'm heartbroken.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I would say my mindset is usually like, well, you know, I guess I'm not for everyone. I'll find the right person soon. That's the answer I'm choosing. All right, next. This one's funny. Would you want to be famous? Well, I am a little bit. Not that famous, but famous enough. Okay, let's see the options. Option one, yes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Whenever I'm watching a famous actor or singer, I always think to myself, I could do better than that. Option two, definitely not. I'd hate to have that many people know of me. Option three, maybe. I'm sure it'd get annoying, but it'd be fun to be appreciated for my skills. Four, I think I would. Who wouldn't want all of that praise and attention? I like the third answer. Maybe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I'm sure it'd get annoying, but it'd be fun to be appreciated for my skills. I feel like that's very aligned with my relationship to being a public figure. Next, what do people think of you? Option one, they probably think of my faults first. They probably associate me with low confidence or maybe weakness. Option two, people probably see me as a little above average.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I can be kind of noisy when I walk, but it's nothing major. All right. Next question. You and your friends are catching a movie this Friday. You'll probably arrive 30 minutes late, maybe an hour. It's okay. I'll just meet them at the theater or I'm known to show up 15 minutes late to things. Or I'll arrive on time. I'll try to at least. Or who, me? I'll be there 15 minutes early. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I'd love to become even more impressive someday. Option three, I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but I still have a lot to offer. My friends love me for who I am. Option four, people are jealous of me, so they try to drag me down. Sometimes it feels like the world is against me. I don't really like align with any of these.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I think the third one, I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but I still have a lot to offer. My friends love me for who I am. Listen, I think I'm a little bit more pleasant to be around than like this answer would portray me. Do you know what I mean? Like I actually think by saying like, well, you know, I'm not everyone's cup of tea. It insinuates that like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
There's a 50-50 chance that somebody's gonna like me. I think my ratio's a bit better than that, but I feel like that answer aligns the most with me. Okay, next. Pick a statement you relate to. Option one, I wish I cared a little less about what other people thought of me. Option two, I wish I could fix the things that are wrong with me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Option three, in this life, I care about wealth, status, and how others view me. And option four, I love myself, but I find that I'm happiest when I'm not 100% focused on myself. I like the last one. I love myself, but I find that I'm happiest when I'm not 100% focused on myself. That's very true. Your classmate or colleague just made an awful joke.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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You, option one, stay silent and think to myself, geez, I'm glad I'm actually funny. Option two, get a bad feeling and think, is this what people feel like when I try to make jokes? Option three, throw them a pity laugh and try to make it convincing. Option four, tack a new joke onto theirs. That way you get a laugh and you help ease the awkwardness.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Ooh, I'm either throwing them a pity laugh or tacking a new joke onto theirs, but not in like a narcissistic way. Like not in like a, let me make it all about me. This person's not funny, so I'm going to show them up and be funny. Anytime there's an awkward moment, I go into like crisis mode immediately. And I'm trying to just do anything I can to ease the awkwardness.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I'm going to tack a new joke onto theirs. Final answer. All right, next. Pick a fantasy. Option one. I'd love to wake up and feel like a brand new person. I'd love to be stronger, smarter, you name it. Option two, I'd love to have a moment of success at work or in school. Like maybe I get recognized for a great idea. Option three, I've achieved my goals.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I'm surrounded by amazing friends and family, and I'm a confident, fulfilled person. Can I be honest? I don't need to read anymore. That is the one. However, I'm going to read the last one just in case. I'm the most celebrated person in the world. Tons of people cheering my name and telling me that I'm the best.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Listen, I think everyone on this planet would enjoy to be the most celebrated person in the world, okay? I don't think you're like an egotistical person for wanting that. However, I will say I choose number three. I've achieved my goals. I'm surrounded by amazing friends and family, and I'm a confident, fulfilled person.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
That's like an exact explanation of what I think we all want in life for the most part. That's like the ideal situation. That's the dream. All right, last question. You're in a brainstorm sesh. What's your goal? Well, I mean, I guess it depends on what I'm brainstorming. Like, what am I brainstorming? Let's read the options. Option one, I just want to get through this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I hate being put on the spot, and I feel like all my ideas are bad. Option two, my idea is definitely the best, so I'll do my best to convince the others. Option three, I'd love to be recognized for contributing a couple of strong ideas, but otherwise, I'll take a backseat. Option four, the goal is to hear as many strong ideas as possible.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I'll put mine forward, then encourage others to do the same. Definitely the last one. If I'm working on something, I don't care if I'm the one that came up with the good idea. I just want a good final product. You know what I mean? I don't care how we get to the best option as long as we get there. Because then everyone succeeds. I don't need to be the one that gets the credit for it. I don't care.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
To be honest, I'm usually pretty on time. So I'm going to say I'll arrive on time. I'll try to at least because I'm not somebody who's always 15 minutes early, but I'm also not somebody who's always 15 minutes late. I am somewhere in between. So that feels about right for me. Next, do your pals ever tell you to tone it down when you're talking? Option one, all the time, I basically talk on a loop.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Um, wow. Okay. This might be my most flattering results yet. You're confident, but not egotistical. Wow. You might be our idol. Literally this episode is just me like taking quizzes and it giving me like actually quite favorable results. Maybe I am like a narcissist. Like this feels actually, this is a weird vibe. Okay, fine, I'll read. Okay, fine, I'll read what it told me about myself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Wow, you might be our idol. You're self-assured, value-driven, and balanced, but you don't have an ego. There's a difference between confidence and self-centeredness, and you're the proof. You refuse to be your own worst enemy, but at the same time, you don't step on others to climb to the top.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Basically, you're a super healthy, developed, and empowered person, and we're pretty sure we want to be you when we grow up. Oh my God. That is so nice. Okay, fine. I'll take it. I will say I have my fair share of shortcomings, but I am pretty proud of my ego. I don't have a huge ego and I'm not sure why, but it's such a peaceful existence. Like getting your ego under control is such a blessing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Okay, that was like, that was almost too flattering. I need to take one more quiz that's gonna kind of humble me a little bit. Okay, let's see. I'm gonna take a quiz that'll tell me how weird I am. Okay, because I know I'm weird. Although I don't think being weird is like a bad thing, but I actually think, I'm curious to see what it says about me because I know I'm a bit odd.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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But let's find out how truly odd I am. All right, question one. It's below freezing outside. What are you wearing? Well, I live in California where it almost never goes below freezing. So anytime I'm in freezing temperatures, I am wearing 50 layers, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I'm wearing a turtleneck with another turtleneck on top of it, with a turtleneck sweater on top of it, with a thick winter coat on top of it, with a scarf and a balaclava and leggings under my pants and boots. with socks, three layers of socks underneath. I'm wearing so many layers. So that's my answer. Okay, next. Do you get secondhand embarrassment when other people do something cringe? Yes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. In fact, it's something that brings me a lot of pain in my life for a multitude of reasons. Number one, because it's just uncomfortable to cringe. But number two, because I kind of feel bad about it. Like every time somebody does something cringe and I cringe a little bit, I feel bad. I feel like I'm a bad person. I'm like, should I be more accepting?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Does this make me a judgmental person? But yes, I definitely have a really strong cringe meter. That doesn't mean that I show it though. If somebody does something cringe, I'm the first one to make them feel like it wasn't cringe. And I'm proud of that. Like I will... I will do what I can. I will laugh at their shitty joke. Like I'll join them in the cringe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Anything to make sure that they don't know that they're being cringe. I can't control it. Like I wish I didn't ever cringe at anyone, you know? But my definition of cringe is when somebody is not being themselves. They're trying to be something that they're not. That's really what cringe is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
People can do things that are weird or embarrassing, but if they feel authentic to the person, they actually don't make me cringe. It's only when someone's like trying to be cool or trying to be suave or trying to be funny. Like if somebody's trying to be something, that's cringe. But it's not inherently wrong to try to be something you're not. Like I want to be graceful with others.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
So I feel bad that I cringe at this stuff. But I do. So the answer is yes. Moving on. Do you ever make faces at yourself in the mirror? Yes. Yes. Yes. Listen, like I'll pose in the mirror sometimes randomly. Like I'll be like in the mirror and I'll be like, oh, like I can't explain it, but I do do that. And by the way, we all do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Or sometimes, I just get caught up in a story, you know? Or hardly ever, I try to talk at a normal volume. Or nope, if anything, I'm too quiet when I speak. Um, you know what? Actually, these days, no one's telling me to tone it down. Should they tell me to tone it down? Probably. Probably. Because I will get wrapped up in a story and I will become animated and I will lose myself in it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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So don't pretend that you like casually walk past the mirror and don't give yourself a little look every once in a while. Like, don't lie to me right now. We all do that. So I don't want to hear any of you saying you don't do that. I'm actually going to answer. There's three options. Totally. When I look good, I got to play it up a little. Or sometimes when the mood strikes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Or, nah, that's not my style. I'm going to say totally. When I look good, I got to play it up a little. No, maybe the answer is just sometimes. I don't do it that much. Okay, I'm going to say sometimes, actually. I'm very indecisive when it comes to choosing my answers. Okay, next. How do you talk to animals? I definitely... to have a little bit of an animal voice.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Like, you know how people speak to animals in like a certain tone? It's almost like a baby voice. I definitely do have that a little bit, but I'd like to believe that mine is really mild. Do you know what I mean? Like some people... Listen, I'm not judging. I get it. I get it. We all have our own unique relationships with our animals.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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And some people, you know, just fall into a habit of using a really loud, weird voice with their animals. Mine is mild, but it's definitely not my normal tone of voice. So I'm going to answer, I'm going to answer, I do a little baby voice. Like, I can't. It's just true. Next question. What are your thoughts on Stuart Little? What a random question. I love Stuart Little.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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This is such a... Who made this quiz? Okay, the options are, number one, I have no thoughts about Stuart Little. I'm not even sure I know who that is. Option two, I wish I had his car. Option three, I feel bad for the kids at the orphanage when he was adopted. Like, imagine a mouse being chosen over you. Okay, the third option is a bit too heavy for me. I'm not in the mood.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I'm going to say I wish I had his car. I love Stuart Little. I think he's so cute. I actually have a Stuart Little hat. I love little cartoons with little critters involved. I love that shit. So I'm going to say I wish I had his car because that feels the most aligned with me. It's just a weird... Okay, this quiz sucks. The next question is, how do you feel about this image?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Now, obviously, you guys can't see this image. I'm going to describe it to you. Imagine like a Windows background, okay, on like a Windows computer, like bright blue sky, rolling grassy green hills. Now, imagine a ball of hair. This is the image that the quiz gave me, okay? A ball of hair with one big glass eyeball sticking out of the hair, okay? That's the image that is in front of me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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And the question is, how do you feel about this image? The three options are, this is art. It's so cool. I love it. Or two, I'm not really sure what I'm looking at, honestly. Or three, I don't like this. It makes me feel weird. I'm going to say I'm not really sure what I'm looking at, honestly, because I'm not about people just saying like, oh shit, this is so abstract.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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It's art about like literally anything. That's just not who I am. Like I love weird art, but not all weird art resonates with me. Like I'm not of the mindset that like anything weird is cool. I don't like that. So I'm gonna say I'm not really sure what I'm looking at because this particular image that they presented to me is not evoking any sort of feeling in me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
It doesn't really have any clear direction in my heart. Like I'm looking at it and I'm not getting, it's not evoking any feelings in me. And I'm not even really sure. It probably is art. And if it is, that's great. It's just not my taste. I just, yeah, it's not for me. Okay, next. Think of something that you find totally fascinating that you know is a little unusual.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Would you be willing to tell a stranger about it or do you have to keep it a secret? No, I don't keep any secrets. I am proud of the things that I'm interested in that are unusual. Because those are the things that make me interesting. I'm not afraid to sort of embarrass myself or make myself look weird to entertain others. That is a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
The most important thing to me in conversation is to entertain the person I'm talking to or be a good listening ear. That is my priority. So I will share almost anything about myself for the sake of other people's entertainment. People don't care about the mundane. You know what I mean? People like to hear weird stories. They like to hear vulnerable stories.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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It's almost drug like for me. But I'm never I'm not usually raising my voice like I'm very rarely raising my voice. So I'm going to say hardly ever I try to talk at a normal volume. I don't think I'm yelling as much anymore. I definitely used to, but not anymore. Do you tend to check your phone a lot? Honestly, no.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I think that's how you have better conversation and create deeper bonds with others. So I'm all about talking about the weird elements of myself. Next, do you ever talk to yourself? You know, I really don't that often. Like there are occasional moments where I'll notice myself talking to myself, but it's very, very, very rare.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I mean, I talk to myself in my head all day long, but I think we all do. I rarely talk to myself out loud. So I'm going to say sometimes, like when I'm really thinking through a problem. Okay, next. Has anyone ever told you that you were weird to your face? Yes. Many, many, many times throughout my entire life. I'm weird. I'm a weirdo. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I remember in fifth grade, I like missed a day of school and I came back the next day and one of my teachers had told the whole class like, oh, Emma's not here today. That spaz. She called me a spaz to the whole class. And then the next day, everyone was like, yeah, she said you're a spaz. And it's kind of true. You're weird. And I was like, all right, enough. Enough, people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Yeah, I've always been told I was weird. And I, to be honest, I don't think I'm that weird. Like I'm actually not. I know in the beginning of this test, I was like, I'm pretty weird. People have always told me that I'm weird. I'm probably gonna be told, you know, through this quiz that I'm pretty weird. It's probably gonna be pretty humbling.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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But as I'm thinking about it more, I'm like, I'm actually not that weird. I think I'm just really open about who I am and I'm not afraid of showing my weird side. And I think most people are very, very frightened of that, you know, because being weird is vulnerable. That just for some reason doesn't bother me. So I'm realizing that I'm not any weirder than you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Rather, I just might be a little bit less afraid of showing it, which in turn maybe makes me weird. So I don't know. All right, next. Do you ever feel bad for inanimate objects like an old rusty bench or a forgotten shoe? Sometimes. Sometimes. Like, I'm very sentimental and deeply nostalgic. And there are certain items that I have deep attachments to.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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And I think my deep attachments to these items have almost made them feel real to me in a weird way. And I definitely do sometimes feel bad for them. Yeah, like I feel sort of like a connection to them that almost feels like, oh, this is like a living thing. So yeah, I'm going to say sometimes. Next. Hey, can we see your phone's camera roll? Honestly? Okay, there are three options.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Option one, okay, I have nothing to hide. Option two, yeah, just one second. Let me delete a few things. Option three, never in a million years. Listen, I don't love people looking through my camera roll. However, I don't have anything that bad in there. Like I don't have any like sexy nudes. I actually don't. That's not a joke. And I don't even have like calculator app downloaded.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I just don't take nudes ever. I never take a nude. Isn't that weird? Is that weird of me? I just don't need that on my phone. That's so stressful. Like if somebody, if I want to see myself nude, I'll take my clothes off. If somebody else wants to see me nude, they can take my clothes off. Like I don't need to have a photo of me nude. I just don't want that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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If I'm with somebody I'm really close to and I get like a work notification, I will check it sometimes at the table really quickly. But never if I'm, you know, with somebody that I'm more of acquaintances with. Or even just somebody that I don't see that often. I'm not checking my phone. I think I'm pretty good about it. Like I'm better than the average, I would say.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Like it's stressful if it gets leaked or like if something happened, like I just don't need that in my phone. But also I don't like taking photos, like sexy photos. Yeah. There are some photos in my camera roll where I am not nude, but like where like any photos in my camera roll that have some sort of genitalia involved, it's only funny. But it's not even that graphic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Like if it got leaked or something, it'd be like, okay, like there's like a nip slip. Like I had a nip slip. Like I'll give you an example of a recent photo in my camera roll that would be kind of embarrassing, but I wouldn't really care. I was in a pool recently, like a swimming pool. And I was like jumping around and flailing around and someone was taking a photo of me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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And then I looked back at the photos later and like my bathing suit had moved a little bit. My nipple was like barely out. But I'm like I look like a freak like flailing around in this pool and like my nipples out. It was just these are crazy photos. They're funny. They're funny. Do I want anyone to see that? No, I don't. But like worst case scenario, it would be all right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Like it's not that vulnerable or mortifying. Like a nude, like a sexy nude. Like no thanks. If I had nudes in my camera roll, I would say I need to delete a few things. I'm going to say I have nothing to hide. I really don't. Listen, again, I don't like when people look through my photos.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Not that there's anything to hide, but just because like sometimes I take a selfie and I feel like I look cute or something. Like that's embarrassing. I don't want anyone to see that. But I'm not really hiding anything. All right, last question. When walking on the sidewalk, do you avoid the cracks? No, no. I just don't even think about that. So that's my answer. All right, my results.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I'm a little weird, it says. Let me read. If you ask us, you're one of the best kinds of weird. Why, okay, why are these quizzes complimenting me so much? I feel like I've set you all up to listen to me take these quizzes just to then compliment myself. Like it feels like a setup, but fine, I'll read it. If you ask us, you're one of the best kinds of weird.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
It usually takes people a while, but the people closest to you know that you're a bit of a wild card. You've got unique interests, a special perspective, and a view of the world that's anything but normal. And the people in your life find it refreshing. To most people, you're another person standing in line or riding the bus
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
But if they knew what you were reading or where you were going or what you were thinking right then, they'd see that you've definitely got some major uniqueness to you. You're a total original. And most people only wish they could be as interesting as you. Stop. Stop. Wait, why are these quizzes so nice?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I really thought that this was going to be a more self-deprecating episode, and it's turned out to be honestly like a boost to the confidence. I'm feeling amazing about myself right now. Can I be honest? That's enough self-discovery for today. I'm good. I've focused enough energy inward today. Now I need to go focus some energy outward. But thank you all for listening and hanging out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
You didn't learn anything about you today, but you definitely learned a lot about me. And hopefully you enjoyed the experience. And if you did, have no fear. New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Tune in, hang out. I'm here twice a week to hang out with you. Anything Goes is anywhere and everywhere at Anything Goes. You can stream anywhere. You get podcasts.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I think mainly because I don't have social media on my phone and I recently got a new number and almost nobody has that number. So like I don't get a lot of notifications. So I'm going to say no, I don't tend to check my phone only if I get a notification. Next, you're about to grab a seat at a super busy movie theater. Where do you put your bag?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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But if you want to watch me talk, that's on YouTube and Spotify. You can find me as a person everywhere at Emma Chamberlain. And you can find my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee, anywhere at Chamberlain Coffee. As always, it's a pleasure. And I'll be speaking to you soon. Love you all. Don't miss me too much. Okay, so it's turning out that I am a narcissist. Don't miss me too much.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I know I'm so awesome and that you're going to miss me. Don't miss me too much. Bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I feel like I would put it on my lap or like in between my hip in like the, I don't know, like the side of the chair. I would say it's by my feet or on my lap. Honestly, probably on my lap because I don't really like putting my stuff on the floor. I'm going to say I'll keep it on my lap. how often do you share your accomplishments with others? Uh, never. That makes me so uncomfortable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I will not bring up an accomplishment unless somebody else brings it up to me. And it's like, oh my God, I saw what you did. And then I'm like, stop, don't bring that up. Let's talk about you. I do not like talking about my accomplishments. And I don't necessarily think that that's like a bad thing or a self-deprecating thing. I think for me, it's just like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Like if somebody finds out about it on their own time and wants to talk about it with me, great. Otherwise, I just don't think it's necessary. I don't think it's necessary. I have other things I'd rather talk about that are better for morale, you know? Maybe it is rooted in some sort of low self-esteem or something. I don't know. Well, here's the other thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
So today I'm gonna be taking some random online personality quizzes, starting out with a quiz that's going to tell me if I'm annoying or not. Now, before I even begin this quiz, I will say I'm not not annoying. Like, like if the results come back at the end of this and the results are that I am annoying, I'm going to be like, all right, I could have predicted that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
You never really know what other people are going through. If somebody is going through a really tough time and they're not accomplishing much, the last thing they want to hear is, hey, good to see you. Listen to what I just did. I did all these amazing things. And I know that in an ideal world,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
We could all be excited for each other and proud of each other, even when we're not in a moment where we're thriving necessarily. But I know that that's not reality. And I know that sometimes it can be really tough to hear about other people's accomplishments when you're struggling. And so I'm mindful of that. And
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I'd rather like guide the conversation based on the other person and what they seem to be excited to talk about and then find, you know, personal stories or things to bring up within that. I tend to let other people guide the conversation because I am very outgoing and I have a lot to talk about. I can talk about anything. And not everybody feels that way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
So I'd almost rather let other people guide the conversation and not make it all about me and my accomplishments. So I'm going to say almost never. If anything, my friends bring up my accomplishments for me. That is absolutely true. Okay, moving on. Think fast. It's your turn to order a smoothie. Yum. What do you say?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Well, I'm probably going to say, can I have a raspberry banana vanilla protein powder vanilla yogurt smoothie? Because that's the smoothie that I get at the smoothie place that I go to in LA and the smoothie I make almost every day for myself at home. Okay. The options are, I want a smoothie. Can I get a smoothie? May I get a smoothie? Or may I get a smoothie, please?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
You know, I'm going to be honest. I think I'd probably say, may I get a smoothie? And I wouldn't put please. I'm being honest. And it's actually weirdly because I feel like saying please feels condescending. Like, I know that saying please is like the most polite thing to say, but I actually feel like saying, may I get a smoothie, please? Like, I don't know. It sounds weird. Whereas saying...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Hi, may I get a smoothie? Like, that feels nicer than, hey, may I get a smoothie, please? Like, the please feels weirdly backhanded. I can't explain it. So my intentions are good. That's my answer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Okay, how often do you hold the door for people behind you? Always, 100% of the time, without fail. I am the type of person that will hold the door even if somebody's literally, I'm not kidding, at the other side of a building. I'm like, baby, I'm waiting, I'm waiting. Unless I can't tell what they're doing and I feel like it'll make them uncomfortable if I keep the door open.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I'm pretty good about that. All right, next. Your friend just texted you. When do you reply? It depends on the friend. It definitely depends on the friend. If it's like one of my best friends, I'm responding as soon as possible, like immediately. If it's a friend that I don't talk to very often, like we chat once a month, once every few months,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
That might take a bit longer just because usually those texts are longer, more extensive. And it's like, you know what I mean? I don't know. It's like it's more of a more of an emotional upheaval to respond. It's not like I can just do a one sentence response. Usually that requires like a paragraph response. And that just takes me more time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I'm going to say within one to two business days on average. I would say that's a good healthy average between my close friends and like my acquaintances slash more distant friends. But I would say in general, I'm actually pretty bad at responding to texts these days. Sometimes I never respond. It's not good. I'm not very good at it. But with my super close friends, I'm good at it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
But it's just I can't be available to everyone. So I'm going to say within one to two business days. Whoops, you just got the last of the toilet paper. You, option one, flush, wash my hands and leave. Someone else can replace it. Two, hurry out of the bathroom. But I tell myself I'll replace it later, if I remember. Three, replace the toilet paper roll.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I definitely used to be more annoying when I was younger. Like when I was a teenager, I was so hyper and outgoing and loud and brash. And luckily for me and for everyone around me, I've settled down a lot in my older age. But there's still some lingering annoying qualities. So again, I'm going into this expecting it to tell me that I'm moderately annoying. But we won't know until we take the quiz.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Four, replace the toilet paper roll and make sure there's a backup one nearby. Okay, I'm so sorry. If anyone's replacing the toilet paper roll and making sure there's a backup one nearby, enough. Enough. I always replace the toilet paper roll. I actually find it quite fun. I'm like sitting on the toilet. I'm peeing, peeing, peeing, maybe a little poop slips out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
And then I'm also like doing a task, replacing the toilet paper. I don't have social media on my phone. So there's not much to scroll on when I'm on the toilet. I have like a few fun things. Like I look at fashion runways on TagWalk or Vogue or I'll go on Pinterest or whatever. Like I have stuff I do on my phone, respond to texts, work on my phone. But sometimes I'm not in the mood for that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Sometimes I want to do something a bit more tactile. So replacing the toilet paper roll is quite fun. But I'm not making sure there's another one nearby. I'm sorry. That's not my job. Unless it's at my house. If it's at my house, yeah, I'm obviously going to do that. But not anywhere else. Okay, next. We're almost done. We're about to find out if I'm annoying.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
If you finish off the milk, do you put the carton back in the fridge? Absolutely not. No, no, that's like I don't even like there's nothing even to chat about with that. Like I'm not even going to dig into that answer. That's common sense. I actually can't stand that. I really can't stand that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
And I mean, I've been really fortunate that my entire life, for the most part, I've lived with my parents who are really good about that. Like they are not the type to leave the milk finished in the fridge. Like they're not the type to do that. And then I moved out and I pretty much lived alone the last seven years of my life. So I haven't really had to deal with that, which is kind of awesome.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Although if I have friends sleep over or if I'm dating a guy, that's when that shit starts happening in my house. And I can't handle it. I can't handle it. I go full Karen mode on my loved ones. I'm like, are you fucking kidding? I'm silly about it, but I'm also like, this is really ridiculous. Okay, moving on. You're binge watching a TV show with a group of people. What do you do?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
One, talk through the whole thing. I might even give away the end if I know what happens. Two, I make my fair share of comments, but if people tell me to be quiet, I'll stop. Three, I'll talk occasionally, but I try to read the room first to make sure everyone's okay with my chit-chatting. Four, I'm super quiet the entire time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I would say I talk occasionally, but try to read the room first and make sure everyone's okay with my chit-chatting. When I was younger, I definitely would talk a lot. I would never spoil the show or the movie. I'm not evil, okay? But I would definitely talk a lot more. I'm a bit more reserved these days. Not in a negative way, just in a more mature way, I would say. Oh, my God.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I just got my results. And it says, it seems like you're not an annoying person. I actually genuinely expected it to come back and tell me I'm annoying. I'm stoked. Let's let's read my results. You might get on a person's nerves every once in a while, like once a year, but for the most part, you seem to be super enjoyable company.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Based on your results, it sounds like annoying is not a word that most people would use to describe you. We bet that you're great at reading the room, have no trouble adjusting to new social scenes, and generally like to make sure that people like you. On the off chance that you don't vibe well with someone, it doesn't really bother you. Who cares what other people think anyway?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
I do not like when people don't like me, but I can handle it. So that last part, I don't know. But this is great news. I actually agree. I don't think I'm that annoying anymore. I think I used to be annoying when I was younger. Actually, I know I was annoying when I was younger. I think I'm occasionally kind of annoying, maybe occasionally.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Like my sense of humor can sometimes not align with everybody. But I'd say for the most part, I'm not that annoying anymore. And I don't know if that's like conceited to say, but listen, it's a relief. But I can admit that I was at one point in my life annoying. You know what I mean? Well, that was sort of reassuring. I'm feeling really confident.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
This next quiz might make me feel worse depending on the results because this next quiz is high stakes. Am I a bad person? Being annoying is like no big deal. Being a bad person is not good. So let's find out. Okay, question one. You find a misplaced wallet on the street. What do you do? I will never take advantage of somebody else's misfortune.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
If somebody drops their wallet, I'm happy that I'm the one who found it because I know I will do the right thing. I will try to find the owner myself or try to find the nearest police station or something that I can drop it off on. I would say I'd probably, I'd probably turn it into the nearest shop or to the police and let them handle it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
Just because I do have a little bit of anxiety about being baited, which is so stupid. But like, no, it's not actually stupid. It's a little irrational. But like, I would be afraid that, I don't know, somebody would have like left their wallet on the ground as like a trap to like kidnap me. Like if I call the number in there, then they kidnap me. Like that's how my brain works.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
So let's begin. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by eBay. We all have that piece. You know the one. The thing that's so you, you've basically become known for it. And if you don't have yours yet, you'll find it on eBay. Let me put you on, people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
So I'd rather drop it off to the police and let them handle it. What they would do with it, I don't know. But it's like, you know, technically this is kind of more so their job than mine. And they have the training to handle sort of random personalities. So I would say I would turn it into the police and let them handle it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
self discovery
All right, the stranger on the bench next to you starts crying out of nowhere. You, number one, gently ask if there's anything you can do, get up and leave, offer them a tissue, or leave them be. I will say, if I'm crying on a bench, chances are I don't want anyone to talk to me. That's just who I am. However, I think I would wait it out for a minute, try to analyze their situation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
Hey, do me a favor and excuse my raspy voice today. I know it's sexy. I know it's mysterious. I know it's distracting. But I went to the Sabrina Carpenter concert last night. I sang my heart out and now my vocal cords are fatigued. I hope you can understand. I mean, to go to the Sabrina Carpenter concert and sing your heart out is to be human. That's all I have to say.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
But I also think that living in the big city is not necessarily all sunshine and rainbows, in my opinion. There are a lot of challenges that come with living in the big city that don't make it, for me anyway, an obvious answer. For starters, it's expensive to live in a big city.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
It's sort of this thing of like, there's a potential to make a lot more money in a big city, but the cost to live in a big city is a lot more. You're not getting a bang for your buck in the city. Okay, that's for sure. There's more pressure. This pressure to keep up with the pace of the city. There's a pressure to succeed in
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
Everybody, for the most part, living in a big city has some sort of dream. There's like an energy in cities of like, oh, we're all just, we're trying to make our dreams come true, you know, and continue to make them come true. Like there's a lot of people in big cities who have made their dreams come true. And then, you know, now they're trying to maintain it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
There's a lot of competition for attention, to get a reservation at a restaurant, you to talk to the hot guy at the wine bar, get in line for the best bagel in Los Angeles. There's competition everywhere. Like living in a city, you're competing for everything. You're competing for space. You're competing for time. You're competing for attention. You're competing constantly.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
So let's say for the first five years, my relationship with Los Angeles had many ups and downs. You know, when I first moved to Los Angeles, I loved it because it was new and exciting and I was making new friends. The city itself was this symbol of freedom and independence and also a huge milestone in my career. So it was very exciting and positive. But very quickly, things got complicated.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
And that gets exhausting. Speaking of exhausting, the pace of a city is so fast and intense. Everybody's on the move. Everybody's got somewhere to be. Everybody's working every day. Everybody's fucking grinding. It's grind set. There's a lot of noise. Like you can hear the fast pace. You go outside and it's not quiet. Actually, it's pretty quiet where I live. I'm very lucky.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
I live in a very quiet little corner of Los Angeles. But... It's fast and it's loud, you know? And that's fatiguing. It's overstimulating. You never get to feel at peace, I feel like, in a city. You never get to feel peace. It is not until you leave that you feel peace.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
And that's part of why the city is fun and inspiring because it is so fast-paced and it is so overstimulating, but also that does get fatiguing. Parking, transportation, doing things safely, a lot of things are harder. Also, I think big cities tend to attract fascinating ideologies, some very positive, some very negative. you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
Like, I think there's this beauty in the open-mindedness of a big city. So many different beliefs and opinions and religions and everybody's so different in a big city that it defaults to being a safe space for so many different ideologies, moral compasses, you know, sets of values, like it's wide open, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
And that's really great in some ways because there's a lot to learn from each other in that way, as long as we're all handling it maturely and rationally, right? Like there's so much to gain from that. But that also means that there's going to be some bad apples in there as well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
When you have such a wide range of beliefs and ideas and thoughts on things, I mean, of course there's going to be some bad apples, right? And there's definitely also some bad apples in small towns too. But I think there's a lot of vulnerable people in big cities who have big dreams, who will do anything to get there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
The pressure to keep up is so strong that a lot of people can find themselves weakened and broken down from that. And they can fall into some bad circles, hanging around with people who are obsessed with status and money and cheating their way to the top.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
Or, you know, falling into sort of a group of people who have sort of been beaten down to a point that they don't even have a sense of morals anymore. Like, you can go down the wrong path really easily. And there are a lot of wrong paths around. Yeah. The moral compass of a city is hard to pin down. Fame, power, these things tend to be the priorities in big cities.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
It's a lot of the reasons why people even move there to begin with. Now, that's complicated, you know? I personally struggle with that. When I go and visit a small town and people are less concerned about what they look like and are more just like down for like a cool conversation, like it's like, wow, that's cool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
It's hard to find that in a sea of every different type of moral and belief, you know what I mean? In every extreme. And I also think it can be really hard to build meaningful community in big cities. It's weird because I know I mentioned it as a positive side of big cities. There's so many different people. It's easy to find people because you don't like hanging out with this group of friends.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
Go out one night to a bar. You'll meet a completely... new group of people if you want. There's so many different people. There's endless people to meet. That can make it easier. It can also make it harder because it's so overstimulating. There's so much decision fatigue. It's so overwhelming. It's so intimidating. It's like, where do I even start?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
So depending on who you are, I think it can be an advantage or a disadvantage. I have found meaningful friendship here. You know, it's been complicated, but I have. It was easier in some ways than it was tougher in other ways. I think life in the big city is definitely romanticized. I would say it's dangerously romanticized. Now, two things can be true at once, right? I still live here.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
And my relationship to the city of Los Angeles changed a little bit. I started to see the negative sides of the city. Now, I think some of that was accurate because as with all cities, as with all things, there's negatives. But I think a big part of my perception of Los Angeles was skewed by the industry that I'm in that is based here in Los Angeles.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
I could leave if I wanted. I'm making an active choice to be here. I think what I mean by dangerously romanticized is I think people underestimate how easy it is to go down the wrong path. to lose your way, to fall victim to the pressure, to the overstimulation, to the competition, to the sketchy morals and values. It's easier than you think. It's also so extreme.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
It's such an extreme lifestyle that it can create extreme emotions, at times extreme joy, at times extreme darkness. So, there's pros and cons, as with everything. The choice to live in a big city is neither right or wrong. It's neither good or bad. It is everything all at once. For a lot of people, it makes sense for their career, lifestyle, fulfillment in life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
Like, it absolutely makes sense for people to live in the big city, myself included. I think it's good that I live here at this phase in my life and in my career. I completely see the value in it. That's why I'm still here.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
But I wish that somebody would have told me when I was younger, even though I'm glad that I moved here and I'm glad that I'm here, I wish somebody would have told me that I didn't need to. You know, you can make your dreams come true anywhere. That is the age of the internet. Don't feel like you need to be there forever to succeed. Like, open your mind. Consider all possibilities.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
Consider all options. Now, again, would I have still arrived at the same conclusion? Would I still be living here? Probably. But I don't know. There's part of me that sort of feels upset that I felt like I needed to live here to fully succeed. I have such a problem with the way that we attach status and success to whether or not we made it to the big city.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
I hate the idea that if I had stayed in my hometown in the Bay Area, Northern California, right outside of San Francisco, which is still kind of a big city, by the way, I hate the idea that if I had stayed there, it maybe even reached the same level of success. as I am at now, right? That I would have felt like, oh, I didn't reach my fullest potential.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
Because in retrospect, I don't think that that's true. I think I could have stayed there. And I'm glad I didn't. But it's like, it makes me think about other young people trying to figure out what the move is after college or whatever, trying to figure out what the move is right after high school even, and maybe even feeling ashamed about staying in their smaller town. that is not as celebrated.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
And I just fucking hate that. Like, it bothers me. I wish that there was less of a pressure on young people to dream stereotypically big. Dreaming big does not look any particular way. I think dreaming big means dreaming of a life that's going to be fulfilling and beautiful and as catered to you as a person as possible. That's what dreaming big is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
And it takes a long time to get there for everyone. Like I'm still dreaming big. I'm dreaming big now in a different way where I'm like, I don't even, I thought I wanted one type of lifestyle. Now I'm here and I'm like, you know, I would make some changes to this. A lot of my dream was co-built by culture, you know, and what people believe is the big dream.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
And now I'm like rewriting my big dream because I'm realizing that not all of my dream was mine. There's this pressure to take the flashiest next step, not the next best step for you. Like in high school, there's this pressure to go to a flashy college. And the kids that choose to go to community college or go to trade school, there's like a weird stigma around that. I think that's so fucked up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
It makes me so sad. The only thing that should be sort of not celebrated is if somebody's like giving up completely, which if somebody's giving up completely, that means that there's something wrong with them emotionally and they need support and love and help. And so it requires that type of attention.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
But any next step that is productive and catered to somebody's interests or what they think they're going to be good at or what type of job is going to let them have time to have hobbies on the side or what type of job is going to take up all their time but it's something they're passionate about or whatever it is, like whatever fucking choice is made, working on the family business, who cares?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
And I started to see the negative sides of this industry, which also sort of skewed the way that I perceived the city. And so for many years, I struggled with that. But I was here because for career purposes, it seemed like unthinkable to leave. And, you know, a lot of people around me at that time also didn't love Los Angeles.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
Making any sort of next step should be celebrated. And that sort of leads me to what I think the pros and cons are of living in a smaller town. You know, when I think of a small town, I immediately think of, honestly, how delightful it would be, really. And I mean, visiting some smaller towns recently, I was like, I see the appeal here. There's a lot of beauty in this lifestyle.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
Less pressure, less stimulation. It's a healthier pace. It's a more human pace. The pace of the city is too fast. I think it's safer a lot of times. Not always, of course. You know, it's complicated to make a blanket statement like that. But I think a lot of times... You know, smaller towns are just safer. There's a lot of danger in a big city from busy traffic to just more crime in general.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
I feel unsafe walking around in Los Angeles. Sometimes I get really scared. Same thing in New York. I'm definitely in a phase of my life where I'm thinking about, OK, what type of environment do I want to raise my children in? I cannot imagine raising my children in a big city.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
It terrifies me mainly because of, I mean, obviously the safety element that I just mentioned, but also the morality of the city, you know, like Los Angeles is very flashy and kind of surface level from, from an, if we were to look at the average morals and values of the people here. Now, if you were to Take it down to a granular level, there are many people here with incredible morals, values.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
It's not everyone, but some of the loudest, most influential voices here in this city, the people who demand the most attention are the ones with the worst morals, right? And they're around us. I don't know. I would be frightened to send my kid to school and like everybody at school is a fucking Gucci belt. And it's like, okay, this is just like ridiculous. Like that's something I don't like.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
And you know, at 16, who knows? Like girls are getting lip injections. Like I don't, I want my kids to hopefully have a childhood. I want to protect them from that stuff. And I think it would be very challenging to do in Los Angeles. And I think there would be a way to do it, but I just don't know if that's a battle I want to fight.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
I think in a smaller town, I don't know, it just tends to be a bit more humble, maybe. Obviously there's narcissists everywhere. There's freaks everywhere. It's everywhere. But I think you can choose a small town that has a good set of morals and values that you like. What do you like in a community? And I think in a small town, you can kind of find that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
There might be a lot of small towns that don't sort of match my energy, but there's definitely some out there that do. I mean, I can think of quite a few, especially even in California. There's some smaller little beach towns and stuff that very much match my philosophies and my values in life, like what I find important. I love the idea of a tight-knit community as well. I mean,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
The idea of everybody kind of knowing each other and taking care of each other and looking out for each other, that's something that's very challenging in a big city. It's kind of cool that that can exist in a smaller town or a smaller community. You definitely get more for your money. A lot of times there's more nature, which is something that I find the older I get, the more I crave nature.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
But also, I'd be remiss to not mention the cons. Like, I think there's a lot of potential for the pace to be too slow in a smaller town. It's too boring. It can be really lonely if the community sucks. Less access to stuff. Doctors. help during emergencies, niche foods. Like I'm a vegetarian. I sort of eat maybe a bit different, more niche sorts of foods. It's harder to find in a small town.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
And we were all very immature, in my opinion, and wanted to be punks and wanted to hate everything. And You know, it's part of being a teenager, young adult, like, rebelling against shit and hating stuff and wanting to be different. And all of that led to me hating Los Angeles. And I think the people around me. And then...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
If I want to buy clothing, there might not be a mall, like depending on, you know what I'm saying? Like just less access. Depending on what type of community you live in, people might be more judgmental of self-expression and individuality. It might be a less inspiring, less creative sort of environment. And when somebody goes against the grain, it's noticed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
And definitely less job opportunities, depending on what type of job you have. You know, it depends. It can be totally fine if you work remotely or if... you know, you're self-employed or whatever, or you run your own business or whatever, like, okay, maybe it could be totally fine and not impact things at all, but it also could be really challenging to find the right job for you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
So, I mean, I don't know. And even for me, like it might impact my job to an extent, you know, I might have to get creative and work harder in some areas to make up for the fact that I'm not in the epicenter, you know, I'm somebody who is sort of pondering the pros and the cons of all of these options, which in itself is sort of a luxury.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
Having the choice to move to a small town or even fantasize about a small town is very different than feeling stuck there. Many people look at a city slicker like me who's contemplating moving to a smaller town at some point and they scoff because they think I'm romanticizing the reality because there are many challenges that come with living in a smaller town.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
And there are many people who feel stuck in that environment and would do anything to switch places with me. And so it seems sort of out of touch in a lot of ways. And I can understand that. That's why I'm being honest about it. Like I'm aware of the pros and cons And I'm also aware that I might be romanticizing it. I'm not leaving Los Angeles anytime soon.
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
But I will say that it's definitely on my mind that when I get a little bit older and maybe become a mommy, which is really sickening to think about, to be honest. It's exciting in a lot of ways, but it's also like... I feel still so young, you know, that like the thought of having children, I just really it's it is really crazy thought. It is a crazy thought.
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
But I am definitely heavily contemplating moving out of L.A. and potentially moving to a smaller town. I think it'd be healthy for me. I think it would be good for my future children and. And I may never, you know, move back to a big city again. You know, like I did it. I'm happy I did. I have no regrets. I would never tell anybody not to do it because it might be exactly what you need.
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
But I also would never say like, if you want to make it, you got to go to the big city. I would never say that. Dreaming big does not mean where you live, where you end up. I think the moral of the story is it's really hard not to make decisions based on what is considered the most impressive. And we don't think about quality of life.
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
And we don't think about what we actually like doing, what aligns with our morals and our values. We don't think about any of that. Majority of kids, I would say, don't. And there's a lot of kids that I think maybe feel bad about themselves for not having a stereotypical big dream. And that is something that I just think is a really big shame.
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
Anyway, when I fall asleep at night, recently I've been thinking about living in a smaller town and living a slower paced lifestyle. The irony of it is, I think there's probably many people who live in a small town who dream of what I'm doing. The grass is always fucking greener. I think the best thing you can do is make decisions based truly on what will make your life as fulfilling as possible.
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
I grew up, I surrounded myself with different people and I started to see the light in Los Angeles. I built a really great group of friends. I started to figure out where I liked hanging out in this massive city, where there's like-minded people, where there's things that I like to do. Yeah, I just grew to actually really love this city. I grew out of my negative punk lens of hating everything.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
But also, I might feel that way and then try it and then hate it. Who knows? But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Anyway, that's all I have for today. Let me know what you think. Do you dream of the big city? Do you not dream of the big city and feel kind of bad about it? Do you love living in a small town? Do you hate living in a small town?
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Do you think that I'm fucking delusional because I've only ever lived in a big city and now I'm like fantasizing about living in a small town and I'd fucking hate it? What do you think? What do you think about all of it? What do you think about the cultural pressure to live in the big city? Tell me your thoughts. Tell me your feelings. Tell me your everything. Add anything goes on social media.
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Shoot me a message. Shoot me a comment. Whatever. I love to read through. Find me on social media at Emma Chamberlain. And that's all I got. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Find the show anywhere you stream podcasts. And I just appreciate you all listening and hanging out. Okay, I love you all. Talk to you later. Okay, bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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And the older you get, the easier it is to see the bigger picture. Yeah, I just decided to see this city from a positive lens. And now I really love Los Angeles. There are still things that I don't like about it. Don't get me wrong. It is challenging to live here in a lot of ways. But I'm choosing to love it. And that's amazing. And then... Like, finally, I love this city. God damn it.
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
If you go to the Sabrina Carpenter concert and you don't sing your heart out, you might be an alien. You might be a reptile. I don't know. Go get it tested. There's something wrong. Go get that checked out. If you wanted a test to see if I was human, my voice is raspy the day after the Sabrina Carpenter concert because I sang. Because that is what humans do.
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
And then a few things happened that made me kind of start fantasizing about leaving one day. Now, fantasizing about leaving Los Angeles is very different from actively living in Los Angeles and being like, this place fucking sucks. This place sucks. You know, like those are two different things. I would say it's not like now I hate Los Angeles again because of a few things that happened recently.
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
It's more like now I'm starting to think about life after Los Angeles. And it is making it a bit challenging to live here sometimes because I'm starting to fantasize about life after it. But yeah, I don't hate this city. But I'm thinking about leaving one day and what that might look like. You know, I've been watching videos of people who live in small towns and
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
not even necessarily small towns, but normal sized towns, maybe even on farms, living in a van. Like there's a lot of influencers online these days who post content about living in a very different way than the stereotypical influencer lives. Like most influencers, you know, live in LA or New York. They're doing the big city thing. They're, you know, whatever. I mean, I did it, right?
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But I'm starting to watch these people living in small towns or even normal-sized towns or farms or in a van, and I'm like, huh, that kind of looks awesome too. And in addition to that, I think what really sent... this thought pattern into orbit was recently going on a road trip with my dad that made me realize how much awesomeness there is in America. I've lived in California my whole life.
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I've never lived further than 30 minutes from a big city. I grew up outside of San Francisco. And like the area that I grew up in was very suburban and it was not necessarily a bustling city. I didn't grow up in San Francisco. You know, I grew up outside of San Francisco in a very different environment. It did not feel like a city at all.
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
But I was always close to things that resembled a city or an actual city. So I don't know. I think my perception of the rest of America and like what everything looks like, I was like, what's out there? It was just the unknown for me. But my dad and I went on a road trip. We hung out in Idaho. We hung out in Wyoming. We hung out all over Colorado. It was fucking awesome.
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
And it really made me contemplate my future. You know, I'm ruminating on the various pros and cons and false promises and hidden benefits of both lifestyles, big cities and small towns. And I want to bring you into this conversation because I think it's interesting. But before we begin, let's get on the same page about some definitions. Like what's a big city? What's a small town? Like what...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
Now, to me, a big city is one of the big cities, okay? LA, New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Austin, if we're talking about America, Paris, London, Milan, like big cities, famous cities, cities that sell merch that people actually want to buy. When I think of like a medium city, I'm making up my own fucking definitions here.
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
Anywho, so my voice is raspy, and it's kind of fun because I haven't lost my voice in a while. I've been a bit more chill in my lifestyle recently. I tend to lose my voice more when I'm more of a party girl going out more, and I just haven't been recently. So my voice has been really solid. My vocal cords have been really solid. But Sabrina Carpenter, demolish them. Please, please, please.
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When I think of a medium city, I think of areas outside of the big city that feel quiet and suburban. But if you really look at the population and the access to doctors and different types of grocery stores and clothing stores, if you actually look at it, it's a big city. Kind of like what I grew up in. And then a large town. Again, making up my own definitions here.
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When I think of like a large town, I think of a town in the middle of nowhere. A town being smaller than a city, right? It's not like a city. It's a town. It's not very big. But it's not technically a small town because there's a decent amount of people and a decent amount of business around. It's classic suburbs. But it's not like 10 miles from a big city.
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You know, it's kind of in the middle of nowhere, potentially in a less bustling state or country or whatever. To me, when I think of that, I actually think of that as being a small town. But most people would think of that as like a large town. What a real small town is a really small town, like population, 5,000 people. There is like one grocery store. Nothing is happening here.
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
It is microscopic. That's technically what a small town is. To me, that's like a micro town. When I think of a small town, I think of a large town. But again, that's because I'm a fucking city slicker, okay? My perception on the size of cities and towns is all fucked up because I've always lived pretty close to one. But for the sake of this conversation, let's just get this straight, okay?
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Big city, Los Angeles, New York, Paris, London, San Francisco, you get the idea. Medium cities, areas outside... of those cities that still have activity because they're close enough to those cities. Small town, a town in the middle of nowhere. No big city around, in the middle of nowhere. And then a micro town is like 5,000 people. What a real small town is.
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
Emma's coming up with her own definitions because she's selfish and a freak. But for the sake of the conversation, I know I need to get this cleared up or else it's going to get confusing.
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You know, as we grow older, we reflect on the beliefs that we developed as a kid.
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I mean, we're like sponges when we're young, right? We're listening to our elders, our peers, the media, society, culture, like everything seeps into us. One of those beliefs that I've recently been thinking about a lot is to find ultimate success in life, you must move to the big city. The peak of success can only be reached in the big city.
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How many times have we heard the story of the small town kid moving to the big city to become a star? We're shown this narrative over and over and over again, our entire childhood and our entire life. This is a story that we're all accustomed to. You know, like this is, it's almost like a fact in our minds. If you want to go and be a star, you need to move to the big city.
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Is it true that to be a big star, in a lot of cases, you do need to move to the big city? Yes, that is true. And so I'm not shitting on that fact. Although I do believe that there are ways to be a big star, depending on what that means to you, anywhere in the world. There's a way. Within the age of the internet, there's absolutely a way.
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demolish them. And now my voice is raspy. But anyway, let's make a really big pivot here. Okay. I'm about to, I don't know how to transition to the next part of my conversation. So we're just going to do a really strong pivot.
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What bothers me is less the fact that the big city can help you be a star, and in a lot of scenarios is necessary for that, depending on the industry you want to get into, how you want to be a star, etc. What bothers me is this sort of belief that if you don't dream of life in the big city, then your dream isn't big enough. It's not celebrated to dream of building a strong career in a small town.
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Have they ever made movies about that? Do your family members celebrate that at Thanksgiving? No, they celebrate the cousin that's moving to the big city. There's more high-paying jobs, more diverse job options. There's a lot of opportunity in the big city because there's a fuck ton of people and a fuck ton of stuff that needs to be done.
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It's definitely the most ideal location for certain career niches, like the flashy ones, especially. I mean, listen, if you want to go and start an Apple farm, you should not move to the big city, obviously. But for a lot of flashy niche careers, like going into tech, going into acting, going into writing screenplays, social media management, like all these sort of niche career paths,
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For the most part, those are in the big cities. Lots of opportunity for networking, but also more people for making friends and finding people to go on dates with. More people in general means higher social success rate. The more options, the merrier, which some would argue makes it harder because it's so busy.
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
There are so many people that it's hard to make any sort of meaningful connection because everybody's moving at a quicker pace. But some would argue it makes it easier. I actually think it makes it easier, personally. You know, I'm meeting new people all the time. There's so many people in Los Angeles. I'm meeting new people constantly. Also, in a big city, there's access to literally everything.
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Like I'm going to snap my fingers and you're just going to pretend that all the stuff I said before, like you're just going to pretend I didn't even say that because we need to switch subjects in a very big way. Okay. Snapped my fingers. Here's the deal. I've been living in Los Angeles for six years now. And I finally now love it. Six years later. I've probably loved Los Angeles for the past year.
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Every single type of doctor you could imagine who are specialized in different things, all going to be in the big city. shopping, any kind of store you want to go to, anything you want to buy, it's here. You know, a new product gets launched. It's probably getting launched in the big city. Like you have access to everything. You have the most access out of anyone in the entire world. Like, okay.
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
Like I had to buy a weird, I'm giving an example briefly. I was working on a project with someone. We were doing a project with a costume and we needed to buy something that was like prosthetic, you know, like for movies, how there's like prosthetic ears and nose and teeth and stuff. So we needed to buy prosthetics, which is like a very niche, random thing to buy.
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And we needed to buy them that day. Okay. And I knew exactly where to go in Los Angeles. There's a prosthetic store, a costume store in Hollywood. I knew exactly where it was. I knew they'd have exactly what we needed. If I lived in fucking rural, I don't know how to say the word rural. Rural fucking, I don't know, Ohio, okay? And I needed to buy prosthetics last minute.
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
Yeah, that's not going to happen. Also, because there's so many different types of people, I think big cities tend to be more welcoming to differences because people are immune to people. Nobody knows anyone. Everybody's a stranger in a big city and nobody's phased by anyone.
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the (possibly delusional) small town fantasy
You can be you the most comfortably in a city, I would say, because cities attract a bunch of creative people, a bunch of eccentric people, and those people are able to fully express themselves because they don't stand out in a city. There's so many different types of people that all look so different and dress so different. And like, it's just, it doesn't even matter.
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Everyone's numb to it in a really beautiful, spectacular way. Growing up, even in a medium city right outside of San Francisco, I felt nervous when I wanted to express myself with fashion. You know, I was like, oh, and I wasn't even wearing anything avant-garde. Okay. Okay. I was just wearing stuff that wasn't trendy in the mainstream, wasn't trendy in my town, and I would get really nervous.
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There was a very distinct aesthetic in my town, and I was scared to go against it. And that's not even in a small town. That's in a medium-sized city. The city is a great place to express yourself. You can be free. Last but not least, this is kind of surface level, but living in a big city provides a level of social status. For better or for worse, being like, oh yeah, I live in New York.
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Oh yeah, I live in LA. There's like a weird status that that gives you. Like, oh, they're doing something. They're on a mission. They have goals. They have dreams. It's ridiculous, honestly. But it kind of does do that. And it's interesting. So listen, there's a lot of truth to the value of living in a big city. And I will never take that away from the big city.
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Now tell me, how do you feel when you see an inspirational quote? Let me guess, uninspired. Yeah, but that wasn't always the case. Think back to a decade ago. How did you feel when you saw an inspirational quote? I can tell you how you felt. You felt inspired. Yeah, you did. You felt inspired. A decade ago, we loved inspirational quotes. We slapped them on our t-shirts, on our notebooks.
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If you genuinely see the risk in that and you're uncomfortable by it, I would never say, well, you should do it anyway because risk is better than regret. No, I don't think that that applies there.
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But when it comes to emotional things or things that are ultimately harmless, the worst thing that's going to happen is maybe people make fun of you, which can be really harmful, but you're not going to die from that. In fact, that's a normal part of life. Or, you know, you might get rejected. Like this is risk that I believe in. Like that is risk that will help you grow.
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I'm going to rate risk is better than regret. Honestly, a six out of 10. I'm going to rate it a six out of 10 because I think for like harmless risk, I absolutely agree. And I like to believe that the nuance is there. Okay, moving on. What you're looking for is not out there. It's in you. Yeah, I agree somewhat. Like, what does this quote mean?
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The sentiment that accomplishing something in your career, dating, you know, your dream significant other, looking the way you've always wanted to look like, those types of things, those are not going to fulfill you in the way that you think that they are. Ultimately, the fulfillment comes from within. What do I mean by this?
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Accomplishing what you want to accomplish, dating the person you want to date, looking the way you want to look, that only goes so far. It's never going to fully satisfy you. It's never going to fully fulfill you unless you have a good relationship with yourself, unless you are happy with who you are as a person, unless you're you have your morals and values sorted out and in line.
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Can we all just stop being fucking cool for a second and be nice again? We need to get back into inspirational quotes. I think it's about time that we get back into inspirational quotes. And honestly, there's a chance that inspirational quotes might become trendy again, just considering that 2010s are going to start coming back soon.
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Unless all of that is intact, the stuff out there, it's not going to fulfill you. At the end of the day, it is in you. I agree, but I also think it isn't all in you. We as humans get fulfillment from helping others. from experiencing the world, from witnessing beauty, from treating others with kindness, from making art, from creating things that make the world a better place. There are things that
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We do that are outside of ourselves. There are things outside of ourselves that do provide us a lot of value, you know, community camaraderie. Like, I don't know. There are so many things outside of ourselves that do provide value. And that is my one thing. issue with this is that it isn't all in you. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong.
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Maybe I'm misreading this quote, but saying what you're looking for is not out there. It's in you. To me, I take it to an extreme. I imagine if I was locked in a room, this quote is telling me the stuff out there in the world, that doesn't matter. All you need is yourself. That's not fucking true. Humans are social animals. We need other people. We need the sun. We need plants. We need trees.
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We need to jump around. We need to swing on the branches sometimes. Do you know what I'm saying? And that is not in us. That is in the world. Do you know what I'm saying? So I don't know. That is, to me, the flaw in this quote. That kind of negates the value that the world around us brings. In fact, I think focusing too much on ourselves can be a horrible thing. And I think a lot of times...
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we need to look now more than ever in the age of the internet where we're all becoming more and more narcissistic because that's the impact that social media and the internet has on us. Like if anything, we need to focus our energy outward on, you know, the exploring the world in, in, you know,
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treating other people with love and kindness and learning about other people and learning about, you know, and learning about the world around us. Like if anything, that's what we need more than ever. So I am not sure that this quote is almost saying like, look inward. It's in you. It's like, yeah, but we need to look around. I don't know.
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But then at the same time, there is a lot of personal work that we have to do with ourselves that is in us, that is crucial for us to be able to, you know, enjoy the world around us and stuff like that. I don't know. I'm going to give this one probably a four out of 10. I don't love it. Wow, I really hate inspirational quotes. What is happening? I thought we were all going to get inspired today.
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And we all know how we felt about an inspirational quote in 2010. We loved it. So I don't know, like maybe I'm just right on time and maybe inspirational quotes are going to come back into style, but they're definitely not yet. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Westin Hotels and Resorts. Westin Hotels is designed with your wellbeing in mind.
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I guess I was wrong. Okay, next. Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself. I agree. Oh my God. Wait, I just saw in this book. Baby girl. Wait, this is actually the full quote. Excuse me. Can't believe I missed the small text on this. This is the full quote. Excuse me. Baby girl, just remember, life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself.
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Find the power in that. Now that I've been called baby girl, I actually totally agree. It's actually like a better version of the last quote that we just read, which was, what you're looking for is not out there. It's in you. This is a better version of that. Life isn't about, you know, finding yourself in things. It's not about like finding yourself.
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It's about creating your unique being as like a beautiful sort of combination of all of the things that you've experienced and all the things that you love, like creating yourself, yourself. It's kind of hurting my brain. I'm going to give it a 7 out of 10, or maybe even a 7.5 out of 10. I actually quite like it. Again, I can't explain it or put it into words, but yeah, like 7.5 out of 10.
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It's pretty good. Moving on. The universe sends us exactly what we are ready for at the exact time we need it in our lives. Again, this one's a little bit too good to be true for me. Sometimes the universe sends us shit that really is just fucking unfair, painful, horrible. But you know what? Majority of the time, this is true. Majority of the time, I do agree with this. And I actually think
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even if it isn't true, believing it is a net positive in my opinion, because I think we all know that inevitably bad shit's going to happen to us in our life. Unfortunate shit is going to happen to us in our lives. And there is something really comforting about believing that some sort of higher power, doesn't matter what religion you believe in. It doesn't matter if you are religious.
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It doesn't matter. I mean, if you're an atheist, this one might not work for you. But other than that, If you're even a remotely spiritual person, there is value in being like, you know what? I'm going to trust that the universe is giving me exactly what I need when I need it. Even if it's the fucking worst possible thing that could happen.
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If I'm not dead, for some reason, this is what's meant to happen right now. there is like beauty in that. There is, there is like, I think believing that even though it's a bit too good to be true. And sometimes the universe will hit you when you're down over and over and over again, and it will feel unfair and it is unfair and it doesn't make sense. And sometimes it's not exactly what you need.
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You know what I'm saying? Like, like that is like a little bit blissfully ignorant to reality, right? But at the same time, I have a soft spot for this because I do think that believing it is like a net positive in life. If you can find a way to believe this, I think you should. And I try to believe this. It brings me a lot of peace when I do.
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And so with that, I'm going to give this quote a seven and a half out of 10 as well. Maybe a seven, maybe a seven, because it's a little bit too like unrealistic. But so seven, seven out of 10. Okay, next. Change is scary, but so is staying the same. You know, it's funny. This is like the least deep one we've read thus far. Arguably, no, I would say risk is better than regret. Was probably less.
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No, honestly, no. That one's weirdly more deep than this. This is probably the most surface level one that we've read. Change is scary, but so is staying the same. This is the first one that I think I have no complaints about. It's simple. It's to the point. And it's absolutely true. Change is absolutely scary. And it's often met with criticism, discomfort, blah, blah, blah.
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But staying the same, I'd argue, is even scarier. It's way scarier. It's definitely more comfortable, but it is not good. Okay, this one's great. Can I be honest? Eight out of 10. You have to admit you're a little bit inspired by that one. That makes you inspired to change and not say the same. Admit it. You're feeling inspired. Next, motivated by the fear of being average.
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I fucking hate this quote. Sorry, I don't like it and I'll tell you why. What's wrong with being average? Tell me what's wrong with being average. Majority of people on this planet are average at things, okay? Majority of people are average at school and then they play sports and they're average at those. They're not the best on the team.
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And then they go and work their job and they're average at their job. Does that make them an average? Are they defined by that? Majority of people on this planet are average at things. My entire life, I was arguably average at things. I was average at sports. I was average at school. I was good at school. I got good grades, but I wasn't the best. I wasn't the valedictorian.
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I wasn't in all honors classes. I was in a lot of that, but like always still average. There is nothing wrong with being average. I don't like this at all. To me, this is degrading to majority of society. Not everyone on this planet is meant to be an Olympic gold medalist. Not everyone on this planet is meant to be the most beautiful supermodel on the planet.
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Not everyone is supposed to be a super successful entrepreneur or billionaire. And by the way, that's totally fine. Life is probably more fulfilling for those who are average than it is for those who are above average. I'm not kidding. And you can fight with me all you want. And you will. You might. You can fight with me all you want. I stand by that.
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I think people who are Olympic gold medalists, billionaires, that is a nightmare. I don't envy that position at all. Being the best? No. Sorry. I don't envy that at all. There is beauty in having somewhat of a simple life, having maybe even an average life. I don't know, to like discount that it is just wrong to me. It is wrong to me. This is to me, I'm not even kidding, a zero out of 10.
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No, fuck that. I fucking hate that. That like pisses me off. I'm not even kidding. I'm mad. I'm mad. I think it's so toxic. I think it's absolutely toxic and it's degrading to human beings. If I could rewrite this quote, I would say motivated by the fear of being unfulfilled. That's what I'd change this quote to. Zero out of 10. Moving on.
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I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Walmart. The rumors are true, girls. This spring, Walmart is making it easy to dress like the main character you are. With top trends and cool new closet staples, effortless skirts, the perfect jacket, viral handbags, these are the styles you need right now.
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Basically, if you want to look cool without trying too hard, this is your moment. Shop the latest spring trends and find the looks you love at walmart.com slash trends. Now let's get back to the episode. Next, your time on earth is limited. Don't try to age with grace. Age with mischief, audacity, and a good story to tell. I don't know about mischief.
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I actually don't have any sort of desire to be mischievous. Can I actually Google what mischievous really means? Because when I think of it, I think of like, I don't know, being kind of like evil a little bit. Okay, mischievous, according to Oxford Languages, of a person, animal, or their behavior causing or showing a fondness for causing trouble in a playful way. Nah, I don't like that.
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Whether you're dealing with jet lag or not having slept on a flight, it can ruin a trip. Find wellness at Westin, one of the 30 extraordinary hotel brands in the Marriott Bonvoy portfolio. Now back to the episode. Here's what I want to do today, okay?
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I think that's, no. With mischief like causing trouble like i'm all about goofing around but like I would replace Mischief with humor. I don't like mischief. I I don't think we necessarily need to ever be causing trouble I really don't like personally. I don't like being pranked. I don't like that.
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I don't think that's very funny It pisses me off like if somebody's like hiding behind a corner and I come around and they jump out at me That's not funny to me. That's stupid. What are we three years old grow the fuck up come up with a funny witty joke in the moment Let's grow up Let's go ahead and grow up, all right? So I don't know about mischief. Humor, love.
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Even when it misses the mark, you know, which happens sometimes, especially if you're somebody who's like particularly silly. Sometimes you'll take a joke too far. Sometimes you'll hurt someone's feelings. It's the name of the game. But I think humor is rooted in laugh, in good, in happiness. And there's no trouble involved for the most part. No, aging with mischief, no. Audacity, no.
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I have to Google audacity too. Sorry. Boldness or daring, especially with confident or arrogant disregard for personal safety, conventional thought or other restrictions. Again, it's like trying to be, this quote is trying to be edgy. You know, like the fact that the word arrogant is coming up for this, I'm not loving. I'm not loving. I do think like confidence though is good.
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So, okay, perhaps we change this quote to your time on earth is limited. Don't try to age with grace. Age with humor, confidence, and a good story to tell. I love that. I think that's great. Mischief and audacity, I think to me, has a bit too negative of a connotation. It's like too edgy in a way that's not charming. You know, like in theory, as we grow older, we're less mischievous.
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We realize that being mischievous has a net negative impact on other people sometimes. Like to be humorous is good, but mischievous less so. Audacity, sometimes audacity is disrespectful. Sometimes it's, I don't know, like I don't like that word either. Yeah, I'm going to give this one a four and a half out of 10.
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Cause I do think that it, I get where, what it was going for, but to me it missed the mark of it. Okay. Next. The only failure is not to try. I absolutely agree. This is, this is great. This is absolutely great. I absolutely agree. And again, this one's very simple, but I think it's, I think it's simplicity is its strong suit. Okay. I think it's great. I don't even know what to say about this.
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It explains itself. That's what's so great about it. I'm giving this quote a nine and a half out of 10. It's absolutely true. And it's inspiring. It empowers us to try things and not be afraid of failure. It gets us off our ass. Like I'm into it. I'm all about it. I love this quote. Nine and a half out of 10.
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The only reason why I'm not giving it a 10 out of 10 is because it's not hitting me hard enough to be 10 out of 10, but it's hitting pretty hard. So nine and a half out of 10. Next, consistency is key. Another short and sweet fucking Sabrina Carpenter banger. Short and sweet. The Sabrina Carpenter album, of course, go stream it. As though she needs any more streams. She has enough streams.
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I want to go on Pinterest, aka the home of the inspirational quote, and I want to analyze the inspirational quotes that come up with fresh eyes, okay? For the last few years, whenever an inspirational quote has come up on my Pinterest, I've, for the most part, ignored it.
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No, she doesn't. She deserves infinite streams. Sabrina Carpenter, to me, deserves whatever the most amount of streams in the world is. She deserves double that. I absolutely love Sab Carp. Anyway, this quote is short, it's sweet, and it's good. Consistency is key. I agree. I absolutely agree. In my life, I... Actually, you know, within the last year, I've really realized this.
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Like this has become a truth to me because there's been multiple instances over the last few years where things have started out really challenging. And then as I've stuck with them, they've gotten easier and really become rewarding. And actually a great example would be this podcast. I've always been
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Okay, this is like breaking the fourth wall for you as a podcast listener, but I've always been pretty behind on my podcast episodes. Like to the week, I make an episode and it goes live that week. Like that's always sort of how I've been. I've rarely been ahead. And this season of the podcast, I was like, I really don't like living in that state of like constant feeling like a bit behind.
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I need to be more consistent with like recording on a weekly basis, not like getting sort of ahead and then taking a week and a half off and then being behind again and like not doing that. I want to start being more consistent. And at first it was incredibly challenging because, and this sounds fucking ridiculous, but like I was sort of frustrated feeling exhausted.
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Like when I record an episode, I'll sometimes get exhausted from it, which sounds literally ridiculous, but it's sort of an expenditure of energy or whatever. Anyway, but I really challenged myself to be consistent and to record at least, you know, at least two a week because technically, you know, I post two a week. So my goal was like, Emma, at least two a week. If more, great.
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If you have stuff on your mind, great. More. Do more. Get ahead. But like two a week. And not only am I enjoying making the podcast now more than ever, but like my energy is up. The ideas are flowing. I have infinite ideas. Like it's just it's making it all easier. And it's beautiful. Another thing like I talk about my fucking yoga class all the time at my yoga class.
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When I first started going, I was really frustrated by the fact that I had to park on the top floor.
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I like was really exhausted by the whole sort of routine of like going into this class and like sweating a lot and then getting out of the class and then having to like take off my clothes and put them into like a plastic bag so that they're not like getting my stuff all wet and then showering in the shower there.
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And then I have like soap and I need to like bring my own soap because I have like sensitive skin. So I need my own soap. And this whole like routine was like so clunky to me, but I was consistent with it for like a month. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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Because I, like the rest of us, thought that they were cringe and overplayed, which is like ironic because I'm like the queen of inspirational speeches. Like half of this podcast is just me on some sort of inspirational rant that sometimes gets turned into like a TikTok sound and then people... like later, like, Emma, is that your voice in that TikTok of you like giving an inspirational speech?
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I'm like, don't bring that up. Maybe I'm just as cringe as the inspirational quote. Maybe I am just one walking inspirational quote. But anyway, let's venture onto Pinterest, read some inspirational quotes, and see what we discover about the art of the inspirational quote. Dare I say the lost art of the inspirational quote. What I learn about myself through the process is
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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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what I learn about society as a whole, and ultimately come to a conclusion about whether or not inspirational quotes are worth our attention. Let's go on to Pinterest. Let's just go on to Pinterest. Okay, let's start with no matter how unrealistic it seems, it's going to happen. I'm not going to lie. We're starting out not very strong because I don't necessarily agree with this.
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We got tattoos of them all over our bodies. We loved inspirational quotes. And then all of a sudden one day, we all collectively woke up and decided we don't like inspirational quotes anymore. They're cringe. They're overplayed. They're pretentious. They're cliche. And it became this sort of guilty pleasure. If you liked inspirational quotes, you shouldn't tell people about that.
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to, you know, overthinking things is not good, right? But I think underthinking is just as bad. I think what we should be striving for is some, some sort of happy medium. So ultimately this quote sucks and I'm giving it a one out of 10. I just think underthink it. It's like, you know, that quote to me is just, it's just the opposite of overthinking.
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But see, in the case of overthinking, the opposite is equally as bad. Overthinking is bad because it's an extreme. Underthinking is bad because it's also an extreme. What we want is balance. Okay, moving on. You cannot use someone else's map to find yourself. Okay, well, what does that really mean? You cannot use someone else's map to find yourself.
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The reality of life is that sometimes we have dreams and they don't ever come true. And this quote is saying, no, no, no, it's going to happen. And I can't agree with that. Unfortunately, reality is harsh and unfair. And sometimes things don't go your way. On the other hand, sometimes they do. But to me, this quote is a bit dishonest.
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Perhaps like someone else is not going to help you find yourself. You need to find yourself. Yeah or no? I actually do think that this is good. I think this is actually quite valuable now that I think about it because I do think that there are times in our lives when we look to our friend group or, you know, our significant other to help us find ourselves. And that is not going to work.
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And it never works. In fact, it tends to put a strain on the relationship or the friendship because you start to expect this person to guide you to fulfillment, you know? And they never will because you are the only one who can guide yourself to fulfillment. You know what I'm saying? And to rely on others for our feelings of like satisfaction and wholeness. It's just, it's destined to fail.
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And so, you know what? I actually kind of like this quote. I'm going to give it A seven out of 10. I'm going to give it a seven out of 10 because its meaning is a little bit confusing to the point where it's like, this quote's almost not even effective because I barely even know what it means. But like, I think I know what it means.
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And if I think I know what it means correctly, then I think I like it. Okay, moving on. Next, if everything around seems dark, look again, you may be the light. Well, if everything around seems dark, it's because there's no light at all, right? If you're the light, then you're shining light on what would then be dark. To me, this quote makes no sense. And maybe I'm just low IQ.
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Like, sorry, maybe it's a me problem. But to me, this is not making sense. Okay, I guess I get what I mean. I'm thinking if everything around seems dark, look again. you may be the light. Basically saying like, if everything around you seems horrible, it's a mess, that doesn't mean that you are also dark. Like you can be the light in that darkness. But see, this is just, I don't know.
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It doesn't really make sense to me. Like on the surface level, like it sounds great. You know what I mean? But when you actually dig into it and are like, what does this even mean? It doesn't quite make sense. But the sentiment of like in the midst of darkness, you can be a light. I think that's a beautiful sentiment. And I think it's absolutely true.
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Uh, luckily oftentimes you're in control of if you're that light or not. So I almost wish that this quote kind of tapped into that. Like if everything around you seems dark, you can be the light instead of saying, look again, you may be the light instead of saying like, wait, you might've missed it the first time you are the light. I think it's, I think that that makes it a bit confusing.
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I'm going to give the quote a six out of 10 cause it's close. And I, uh, maybe even a seven out of 10. It's close, but it's not quite there for me. Okay, next. Whoa, this fucking quote is incredible. She was poetry, but he couldn't read. Oh my God. I can't tell you how many times I've seen this quote, but always a little bit different.
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Like, she was a bestselling novel, but he was ultimately illiterate. Or like, she was a sunset, but he was blind. It's like, wow, that is kind of a crazy thing to say. I've seen these quotes a lot. And it's, can I be honest? This is one of the most cringe. This is really cringe. And I'm not like being some sort of like, bitch.
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Like I'm not being like a pick me like, Oh my God, you guys, she was poetry, but he couldn't read. Like, I bet she wasn't shit. Like what? No, I'm not saying it like that. I'm saying this is one of the worst quotes I've ever heard. Do you know what? No, actually that's not what I mean. It's because it's actually not bad. And it actually is kind of true.
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And to be honest, like I can't tell you how many times I was poetry and he couldn't read. Like this is my life. I relate to this quote. There's just something about it that's so cringe to me, even though it's true, but it's so cringe. But it is kind of a beautiful sentiment, actually. It really is.
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Because it is true that, you know, there are times in life when like you can be an incredible person, you know, and that doesn't mean that everyone's going to see it. Yeah. Like you're not going to be everyone's cup of tea. She was cilantro, but he had the soap gene. You know, like when people have like the soap gene and like cilantro tastes like soap. Like this is true.
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If I had to rewrite this quote, I would say, no matter how unrealistic it seems, it's worth a try. Because that's absolutely true. You'll never know unless you try. Whether you succeed or not, the attempt will teach you something. And that is beautiful and incredible and empowering advice. But this quote sucks to me. I'm sorry. I don't like it.
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I'm literally, why is this so funny to me? What's another one? Let's come up with some. I'm having fun now. Okay. Oh my God. She was a mango jewel pod, but he smoked cigarettes. Holy shit, that's so true. Wow, that's true. You know what? That's a little niche, but if you fucking know what I mean, if you had a mango jewel pot, wow, that's true. Okay, wait, let's keep thinking. One more, one more.
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Okay, I have to give up. I don't have any more. I was going to say something like, she was a Margiela Tabby boot, but he doesn't get it. You know, but like, fuck that. Okay, I'm moving on. See, I ruin everything. Like I actually was, the first few were actually funny and then I ruined it. Okay, moving on. Oh, okay. I'm going to rate this quote.
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I'm going to give it a seven because it's cringe, but a seven because it's actually kind of good and true. I'm giving she was cilantro, but he had the soap gene. I'm giving that one a 10. All right, let's move on. And then I realized the fire was always burning within me, but the flames were busy keeping everyone else warm.
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Well, if they're inside of you, right, they are also, they're keeping you warm as well. You know what I'm saying? So again, this one's not quite making sense to me. It would maybe make more sense if it was like the fire, my fire was burning outside of me. Or no, no. Oh, I have it. I have it. Okay.
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If it was something like, I started my fire to keep others warm when I should have started my fire inside of myself to keep me warm. Horrible. I did a horrible job. But do you get what I'm saying? Listen, I know this is all ridiculous, but I'm just saying. But again, I agree with the sentiment.
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The sentiment is giving too much of ourselves to others to the point where we can't take care of ourselves, right? This is a bit iffy to me, right? And the reason for that is I do think, and the older I get, I think this even more, that it is so important to take care of others, to help others. But at the same time, I am aware of the importance of taking care of ourselves first.
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You know, it's like we should always take care of ourselves before we take care of others. Like we can't properly take care of others unless we take care of ourselves. I really think what it comes down to is trying to find the perfect balance where what we should be striving for is to light a fire that keeps us and those around us warm, right? So maybe we could rewrite the quote with that in mind.
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Like... Instead of saying, the fire was always burning within me, but the flames were busy keeping everyone else warm. Instead of that, okay, what if it was something like, I took such good care of the fire inside of me that it grew big enough to warm everyone. Now, obviously everyone, that is a bit of hyperbole there. But that's kind of heat right there. That's, oh my God, no pun intended.
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I'm silly today. Yeah, that's better. That's better. Listen, I'm not trying to insult these people who wrote these poems, okay? Poetry, I am not a poet. I have no fucking idea what I'm talking about right now. And I could be missing the mark on every single one here. But I'm just being honest. I'm going to rate the original quote, honestly, that one's a four for me, a four out of 10.
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I don't, maybe even a three out of 10. I don't love it. Let's say three and a half out of 10. It's not great, but I do think it's close. It's close. It almost got it. All right, next. You can't talk butterfly language with caterpillar people. I'm a bit put off by this because it's sort of putting people down who are not at the same point in their development as you.
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So if I had to rate this quote on a scale of one to 10, okay, one being this quote fucking sucks. 10 being this is the best quote I've ever read in my life. This quote, I'm not even going to lie. Two out of 10. It's not great. Let's move on. Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day. I would say for the most part, yes.
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Like it's not necessarily a bad thing to be a bit behind somebody else. Caterpillar people, if you will, grow by talking to butterfly people a lot of times. Like we need to have those types of conversations together. So I don't like the idea of like this sort of like segregation thing. Almost. It's like you can't talk butterfly language with caterpillar people. This is weird.
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OK, like what are we talking about? Like, I mean, I get what they're trying to say. It's like you can't, you know, if you've if you've done the work and you've grown emotionally and you're an emotionally mature person. And it's hard to have a conversation with somebody who hasn't gone through that journey yet. They just can't even comprehend. And that's true to an extent.
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But I just don't like the vibe that this is giving off. It feels weird. And I do think that we should try to talk butterfly language with caterpillar people to help them learn. And to sort of assume that like people who are a bit behind us can't comprehend or will never comprehend and we can't talk to them that way or like they need to figure out on their own.
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It's like, we're all in this together. And like, I don't know. I just, three out of 10. Maybe even that's a two out of 10 or maybe one out of 10. Actually, it's a one out of 10 because also I hate caterpillars. So yeah. Okay. Don't strive to be well-known. Strive to be worth knowing. 10 out of 10.
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Ironic, because I'm like, literally my entire career is about being like a public figure and being like a person who is somewhat well-known. Obviously not that well-known, but well-known enough, okay? But I couldn't agree more with this sentiment. I think it's fucking true, and I think this is a 10 out of 10 quote. I have nothing else to say about it. It speaks for itself. I have no notes.
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That is heat right there. That is really good. Okay, you guys, one more. Let's just wrap this up, okay? Honestly, I could do this all day. I'm having kind of the best time of my life and I'm realizing we might have to do this again sometime because I am having fun. All right, last but not least, you can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the last one. Damn, another banger.
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Snaps, snaps. It's fucking true. Why do I keep saying the F word? It's so cringe. Sometimes I like get in the mood to like just say the F word and then I'll have like a month where I don't say any bad words at all. So I don't know why I'm in this phase and I need to cut it off because it's annoying. This is true and I'm somebody who absolutely dwells on the past.
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But the truth of the matter is like no one cares. No one cares. And it only gets in the way of us moving forward and creating a beautiful future. You know what I'm saying? I'm all about this. I do think it's good to analyze your past to an extent. Like, you know, you definitely should reread your last chapter once or twice to hopefully extract some sort of lesson from it.
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But then after that, like let it go. I'm somebody who will reread my last chapter for like years and years and years and years. Like I'll probably be on my fucking deathbed one day, hopefully as like an old person. Fuck. See, this is where I had to knock on wood. I'm like scared of jinxing things. Left hand three times. It's just what I do. What was I saying? I'll be on my deathbed.
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We're knocking on wood again. Literally like just recounting like every chapter. Like, I don't know. I'm just, I'm very like, I'm, I'll be like talking about like my cringe streamy award acceptance speech that everybody makes fun of. You know what I mean? Like I'm definitely somebody who dwells on the past. Okay. And so this really hits for me. Honestly, let's end off.
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Sometimes there are days when quite literally nothing good happens. I guess even on the worst of days, can you maybe find something? Probably. Like even on the worst day of your life, there was probably something good that happened, whether it was community coming together or it was, you know, an epiphany that you had or... you could probably find something.
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Let's end with a 10 out of 10. I'm going to give this one a 10 out of 10. I actually do feel inspired. Even though, listen, I was very critical of these quotes. And I was because I genuinely have not paid any attention to inspirational quotes in a long time. And I wanted to see, you know, like, is there something to gain here? Absolutely. Absolutely.
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But I do think we need to be critical of the inspirational quotes that we take inspiration from because I do think that a lot of them are bullshit. So be careful. And I think to truly extract value, you kind of have to dig into it. This is fun, honestly. Like I had so much fun. I'm just going to start analyzing.
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Like every time I see an inspirational quote, instead of just scrolling past it like I used to, now I'm genuinely going to analyze it. Like this is a new hobby of mine. Okay, sorry that I have a new hobby. Sorry that I'm developing hobbies. But I do think that there was value here. Like I feel kind of warm and fuzzy inside after reading some of these.
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Some of them were horrible, but the good ones really stuck with me and I'm feeling really warm and fuzzy. So I think it's about time that inspirational quotes came back into style. I'm ready. And for fuck's sake, I mean, oh God, there I go saying the F word again. I don't know what's going on. I'm cussing like a teenager that just learned like the F word.
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I guess you learn cuss words when you're in like middle school, but you get what I mean. Give quotes a chance, but be critical. That's the moral of the story today. I hope that you all enjoyed. And if you did, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday, so you can tune in. You can watch on Spotify and YouTube or listen anywhere you stream podcasts.
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And you can follow Anything Goes, at Anything Goes on social media. Follow me at Emma Chamberlain. Follow my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee. Check out chamberlaincoffee.com. Check out the store locator online to see if we're in a store interview If you're in Los Angeles, check out our new cafe in the Westfield Century City Mall. Anyway, that's all I have for today.
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feeling uninspired? listen to this
Thank you all for listening, hanging out. It is always a pleasure. Today was especially a pleasure. I'm not kidding. This is my new passion. I don't know what... There's something unlocked in me today. Analyzing these inspirational quotes, I've found a new passion. I can't quite put a finger on what the passion is because analyzing inspirational quotes is not a passion.
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But there's something in this that I'm enjoying. And I don't quite understand what it is yet and what it means yet. But I can't wait to find out. And you know what? We're all on this journey together. And I'm probably going to do this again. So if you enjoyed it, stay tuned because my new hobby is reading inspirational quotes.
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And luckily for me, there is an infinite, infinite flow of them on Pinterest. Anyway, I love you all. I appreciate you all. Thank you for listening and hanging out. It is always a pleasure. And I'll talk to you soon, okay? And you know what? I'll leave you with this. Let me leave you with one more inspirational quote. Which one do I leave you with? Let me read and try to find a good one.
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This is a good one. Ooh, this one's good. I like this one. Discipline is the highest form of self-love. Now I ask you to sit with yourself and consider this quote for the rest of your day and let it inspire you, my love. Let it inspire you. Okay, I'll talk to you all later. Bye-bye.
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But I also think, again, I'm finding a hole Wow, I really thought that this whole episode was going to be me defending inspirational quotes and I am ripping them apart. It's okay if you just have a bad fucking day and there's nothing good about it. And sometimes a day is so fucking bad, it's not even beneficial to try to find something good about it.
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It's actually more effective and productive to just accept the fact that that was a horrible day and tomorrow will hopefully be better. Like, it's okay to not... be able to figure out like where the positive element is, where the silver lining is. There isn't always one, I don't think. But I would say in general, this quote is true.
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Like when it comes down to like a mundane, ordinary, meh sort of day, right? That's how most of our days are, just sort of ordinary. Ordinary days might not be good, right? Like we might not look back at those days in our lives, the ordinary ones, and say, oh, those are good days.
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But I do agree, even though those days aren't necessarily good, there's definitely something good in every ordinary day. So I guess I like 50% agree with this quote. So if I had to rate it, I'm going to go ahead and give this one a four and a half out of 10, because I do think in general, it actually does apply. Next, you are still a creative even when you've spent a long time away from your art.
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Oh, I'm snapping. I agree. Anyone who's creative can relate to this because it is really uncomfortable to be in a phase where, oh my God, this sounds cringe. This is cringe. I'm actually cringing. But it is true. There are times in life when you're not feeling creatively inspired or there's other things going on in your life that are preventing you from being creative.
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And it can make you feel like you've lost your creativity, like you're no longer a creative person because you're not actively using that muscle. But in my opinion, it never goes away. You either have it or you don't. And that's not a bad thing at all. I think... It just is the way that you are.
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And if you're not naturally a creative person, if you're, again, more of like a mathematical, logistical, who knows, like scientific, like type A sort of person, you probably don't even want to be creative. That doesn't even sound inspiring or fulfilling to you. You are wired differently, perhaps. Or maybe everyone's creative. I don't know. I'm not in everyone else's brain, okay?
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You know, it used to be posting an inspirational quote on your Instagram was cool, was, well, inspirational. And then it became cringe and choogy and out of touch. But for fuck's sake, I think we need inspirational quotes. I think the fact that we've written off inspirational quotes as cringe and pretentious and cliche is to me a sign of a declining society.
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But most people that I know are creative in one way or another. Even like the people in my life who are... really mathematical and logistical in type A, like my mom, for example. My mom is one of the most organized. She is just, everything is perfect. Everything is done exactly right. You know, she doesn't like using her creative mind.
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She likes doing things logistically and in an organized manner. You know what I mean? Not in like a creative thinking outside the box sort of way. Like she doesn't like doing that for the most part. However, I still think she's a very creative woman. There are times when she problem-solves in a way that's incredibly creative, and I couldn't even fathom how she came up with that. I don't know.
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I think creativity looks different for everyone, and I actually, as I'm discussing it, think probably everyone's creative in one way or another, but maybe not everyone's creative in an art sort of way. And so back to the fucking quote, because I love to go off on a tangent. I agree with this quote.
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I relate to the feeling of maybe not feeling inspired or being busy with other things that are preventing me from being creative and creating some form of art. And it fucks with my head and makes me feel like I've lost it. And I agree that that's not true, even though I know that. It's still helpful to see a quote like this. So you know what? Thank you, Pinterest. I'm feeling inspired.
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Honestly, I'm giving this quote a nine and a half out of 10. I want to give it a 10 out of 10, but I'm giving it a nine and a half because I felt cringe when I was talking about it. Like it definitely felt a bit pretentious. It definitely made me cringe. So because of that, it's getting a nine and a half, but I mean, it is damn close to a 10 out of 10. What else? All right, next.
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When you choose yourself, everything around you will choose you too. Again, this is a little bit unrealistic and I have a problem with that. Because again, like even when you choose yourself with, which is, well, I don't even know if I agree. We need to break this down.
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When you choose yourself, which I'm assuming means like to love yourself, to be connected to yourself, everything around you will love you, will be connected to you, you know, whatever. This is not true to me. It's unrealistic. It's not how the world works. You might be in an incredible place with yourself and you might go on a date and that person will reject you.
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You know, you might apply for a job and not get it. Does it help? Sure. Absolutely. And it makes rejection much easier as well, because if you're truly choosing yourself, you know your worth and you know that you are not defined by, you know, rejection in life and stuff. Right. And again, maybe I'm like missing the nuance, but I don't love it. I just don't love it.
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And so I'm going to go ahead and give this quote. I'm going to give it a three and a half out of 10 because I do think that the sentiment is good. Like I do think when you choose yourself, like I think choosing yourself is ultimately a good thing, but it's not always true. So it's getting three and a half, which is really low, but that's just how I feel about it. All right, next.
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Better to admit you walked through the wrong door than spend your life in the wrong room. Okay, let's break this the F down. Better to admit you walked through the wrong door and then ultimately leave that room and try another one than spend your life in the wrong room because you're too afraid to leave and admit, oh God, I went into the wrong room. Okay, I understand this now.
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I kind of love this quote. Ooh, I kind of love this quote. Okay, am I going to get this tramp stamped onto me? I kind of love this. I completely agree. This really like taps into sort of the stubbornness of humans. Like it is really hard for some of us to admit when we've made a mistake. And maybe we've started on a venture that actually isn't working.
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And this can apply to so many different things. This can apply to a romantic relationship, to a job prospect, to a creative passion. Like there have been things that I've started. Like a good example would be like the interviews on this show, Anything Goes. Okay. I, I did, I really tried to make interviews work And I just ended up being like, this doesn't feel like me for some reason.
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Like if we can find something negative about inspirational quotes, that is a bad sign. Because from what I can remember of inspirational quotes, I haven't paid any attention to an inspirational quote in years. From what I can remember... They were delightful. They inspired thought. There was nothing remotely bad about them. We've all become far too judgmental, cynical, and like cool.
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This doesn't feel like anything goes. I just don't like it. I don't enjoy doing it. I'm not passionate about it. I don't like it. It doesn't work for me. And in a way, that's sort of a failure. And I ended up doing interviews for months and months and months longer than I wanted to maybe because I was like, no, I need to find a way to like this. I want to like this. I want to like this.
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But the truth is I walked through the wrong door. And eventually I was like, all right, I walked through the wrong fucking door. I got to get out of here. And I did. And now I'm at a place where I'm fucking loving it. And I am doing it alone every episode. And I absolutely love it. And it's incredible. And I'm having so much fun.
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And the only reason why I'm here now is because I walked into the wrong room and then realized it was wrong and then walked out. And now I'm here. You know what I'm saying? I walked into a new room and that's the room... I've been in relationships where I've known it wasn't working, but I had told myself in the beginning of the relationship, like, I want to marry this person.
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And so I have fought for this thing that wasn't really working because I was stubborn. I was like, when I walked into this room, I decided I was going to stay in this room. And it takes courage and like an ego death to say, I'm wrong. I'm fucking wrong. I failed. This whole thing failed. I'm in the wrong room. I got to get out and try another one. but it can be so joyful and it is so joyful.
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I absolutely love this quote. This quote to me, it might be a 10 out of 10. Damn, I love it. I love this fucking quote. That is beautiful. I love it. All right, moving on to risk is better than regret. You know what? To a certain extent, I will agree. I do think it's better to take a risk, a risk that is ultimately not dangerous, right? Like a risk that's like not gonna actually hurt you, right?
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It's better to risk than to regret. In that case, yes. I've actually never regretted a risk like that. I think back to like times when it's been sort of a risk to say confront somebody or tell them how I feel about them or even like starting my YouTube channel or, you know, all these things were risks that ended up being incredibly rewarding, even if...
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they failed at first, even if they failed altogether. Like I've always come out the other side, either wiser or with an incredible, something incredible in front of me. You know what I mean? Like something really, I really reap the benefit of the risk. So I agree.
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I will say though, like when it comes to things that actually do have physical risk to your like health and safety, for example, like skydiving. Things can go wrong when you skydive. Another example, reaching out to an ex that was abusive.
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These are risks that may be tempting in one way or another, but even if you regret not doing those things, you're better off, if you don't feel right about it, you're better off not doing it. I wouldn't promote learning how to do flips on a dirt bike.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
In the last episode, we discussed how sometimes I can be a little bit of a hater, okay? And I say a little bit of a hater because unlike most haters, I don't seem like a hater. I don't spread hatred. I don't put people down. In fact, I tend to do the complete opposite. I'm very supportive and kind and nonjudgmental and loving. To the naked eye, I'm a bundle of love.
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finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I hate neon colors. I just hate them. I think that they're hideous. Like there's not much to say about it, right? I just don't like neon colors. I think that 99 out of a hundred times neon colors are hideous and I don't want to look at them. Like clothes, cars, like plants. Like, I'm never gonna choose an item that's neon. I'm always going to choose the non-neon option, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
If I'm buying clothes, I'm almost never gonna buy something that's neon. Probably never. I have nothing in my closet right now that's neon. If I'm picking out the color for a car, let's say I wanted to get something weird, right? Like, let's say I was going to go get my car wrapped, full LA style, like get a wrap. I'm never going to choose a neon color.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Okay, if I'm landscaping my garden, I'm never going to choose flowers that bloom neon. I hate neon. However, there is one occasion when I think neon colors are unmatched, and that is in highlighter pens. Can you imagine if highlighter pens weren't neon? It would just be wrong. It wouldn't highlight. It wouldn't serve a purpose.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
When it comes to highlighting things on a page, there is nothing better for that than a neon color. I feel like my slight affection for neon colors in this application, okay, in pen form on paper, my affection for the highlighter pen comes from when I was in high school. And sometimes for tests, we'd be able to make a little note card that had like, I don't know, let's say it was a math test.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
We were allowed to write down like formulas or notes that would help us on the test, but they had to fit on a tiny little note card. So you only had that space. And I would spend literally hours and hours and hours writing teeny tiny little notes so that I could fit every single note that I made the entire test. semester onto that little tiny note card.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And again, like it could be much worse, right? There are people who are haters, chronic haters who spread hate. and who have a negative impact on the world. And I really don't think that I am that. I think I'm really good at controlling it and keeping it contained. You know, my hater only really comes out within the privacy of my own mind and my closest friends and family.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And in order to clarify when a note started and ended or whatever, in order to help make the little note card more readable, of course, I had to use a highlighter pen. And it absolutely made the little study card 10 times more readable and effective. And I don't know, I just, I loved having highlighters at school. I would go through them very quickly. I loved them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
So maybe I don't hate neon colors after all. Next, I have a tendency to hate people who have rejected me. And I know that's normal. Being rejected doesn't feel good. And I think it stings the most, not because this person is no longer going to be in our lives anymore because they've rejected us, but because them rejecting us proves our suspicion about ourselves that we suck. And that sucks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Do you know what I mean? Like that's, I think what the worst part about rejection is. And so if you're in a place in your life where you kind of hate yourself and then someone rejects you and confirms that suspicion, it's hard not to hate that person because that's a very negative experience. And so when I'm at a low point and I'm in hater mode, I really hate people who reject me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But you know what? There are some beautiful things that come from being rejected. Number one, sometimes someone rejecting you removes someone from your life that wasn't really supposed to be in your life anyway. You don't want people in your life who don't want to be in your life. So if someone rejects you and then exits your life, they kind of did you a favor in a way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And now you can focus your energy on finding people who do want to be in your life. And that's a positive thing. I also think sometimes rejection can force you to analyze yourself, your shortcomings, and ultimately grow as a result. I think that's beautiful. I think that's beautiful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And you know, in retrospect, when I look at all the times I've been rejected in one way or another, I have no sort of regrets. Not that it was up to me. Usually we regret our own choices, but in a way you can sort of regret being rejected because you can regret maybe what you did to get rejected or you can regret not working harder to prevent getting rejected. I don't feel that at all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
There is not one instance in my life where I've been rejected and it hasn't ended up being exactly what was supposed to happen. Like it always sort of seems meant to be, at least in my experience. Maybe I'm lucky, but yeah. So I don't need to hate those who have rejected me. Even though, you know, it was a bit maybe of a hit to the ego, I think it all is actually ultimately positive in the end.
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finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Next, I hate loud, persistent noises, okay? When I'm cooking in the kitchen and I have to turn the fan on because whatever I'm cooking is like creating a lot of smoke or whatever. Probably because I'm burning it. Probably because I'm not that good of a cook. I'm actually I'm not that bad, but I'm not that good either. You know, the sound of the kitchen fan being on. Wow. Wow.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I fucking hate that when you're on the airplane and it's super loud on the airplane. It's like making that rumbling sound, you know, loud, persistent noises. I absolutely hate that. But you know what? When I reflect on all of the times that I have to hear loud, persistent noises, it's always worth it. With the kitchen fan, I enjoy cooking. I really love cooking.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And I don't like smoking up my kitchen and breathing in all the cooking fumes. And once I'm done cooking, I can turn it off. It's kind of loud and chaotic for a bit while it's on. But then... When it's time to eat, it's off and the food is delicious and everything is good. And I ultimately was happy to have cooked myself a meal. Okay.
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finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
When I'm on the airplane, it's loud, it's persistent, but it's a privilege and a joy to travel. And I'm always grateful to do that, which actually leads me to the next thing I hate, which is flying on planes. I totally developed a fear of flying and it has truly caused me to form a hatred for air travel. I hate everything about the experience. I'm so scared.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You know, I keep it really close to the chest. So me being a hater isn't, like, a worldly problem, okay? I'm not hurting people. I mean, maybe occasionally something gets out. Like, I don't know. But, like, for the most part, it's really just something that impacts me. I am the one who is ultimately being harmed by this. In the moment, it feels fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Every little bit of turbulence, every little sound that the plane makes, everything causes me immense anxiety and I just fucking hate the experience. I hate the loud, you know, the loud noises. I hate, oh, I just, there's not really anything I like about it. I don't like watching movies.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
So like, you know, a lot of people are like, oh, well, I love flying on a plane because it's the time when I get to catch up on movies. I hate movies. There's nothing about it that I like. The food sucks. There's nothing about it that I like. Even if I was a billionaire, okay, and I could afford to fly on a private jet, I would hate that too. I really hate flying on planes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But also, it is a privilege and a joy to travel. I do absolutely love traveling. I'm kind of not in a phase right now where I'm enjoying traveling. I haven't traveled in a few months. For a while there, I was traveling on like a monthly basis, constantly on a plane.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I needed a break psychologically because of my fear of flying and my hatred of flying, but also just, I don't know, like it's hard on the body. And so I just kind of decided to take the last few months off of traveling and I'm absolutely loving it. But traveling is ultimately an incredible thing and I'm grateful to be able to do it. I just mentioned that I hate movies. So let's discuss that next.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I have always had a really hard time sitting down and watching a movie. I think mainly because there's a lot of risk in it for me. There's a risk of turning it on and absolutely hating it, but then feeling like, maybe it'll get better. I should stick it out till the end. And there's a risk that it never gets better. And I just wasted two hours of my life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
So there's a risk that I might be wasting my time. I also don't love sitting down and watching something. I'd so much rather, during my waking hours, do something active. I'd rather go on a walk. And I already sit... a lot in my day-to-day life. I work sitting. I don't want to sit anymore. So seeing a movie is not appealing to me in that way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I also kind of feel afraid of the movie theater for some reason. There's something about it that really frightens me. I feel like I'm in this room with a bunch of strangers. It's dark. It feels dangerous to me. And I know that that's irrational, but that's another thing I sort of hate about movies, or at least the movie theater specifically. And just in general, I've always preferred nonfiction.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I love documentaries. I love YouTube. I love real stuff. That's just always what I've been drawn to. I just kind of hate movies, to be honest. But the funny thing about it is that I don't actually hate movies. I just tend to hate the idea of sitting down for a movie for a few hours. Like I dread it. I don't want to do it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
If I get invited to go see a movie with somebody, I'm like, oh my God, I need to come up with an excuse. But then when I actually allow myself to experience it, I always like it. But I hate the idea of it. The idea of it to me is like my nightmare. But it always ends up being great. And I end up seeing movies that I really like.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I love, you know, listening to a new album that just came out, right? Like a musical artist drops an album. I love listening to it and fucking hating on it. There's something fun about that. Again, in private, but there's something fun about it. I love when someone slightly wrongs me and they just become my fucking enemy in private. This person is just now my enemy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And even if I see a movie that I hate, there's actually joy in that as well. Like there's something fun about it. In fact, it's fun because I get to hate on it. And we all know that that's something I like to do. I don't know. I always end up actually liking the movie. Like I always end up liking the experience. Okay, moving on. I hate thong underwear.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I absolutely hate a thong and I wore them for years. So don't tell me like, Emma, well, you just never got used to it. Like you get used to it. I got used to it. Okay. I wore a thong for many years and I got sick of it because it's truly uncomfortable. And it's also kind of disgusting. Like I don't need something up my asshole. I'm good on that. Like in all capacities.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I don't ever need something up my ass like that. Ever. It's just not my style. Okay? I hate the sensation. But also I find that like thongs are super, they do have a tendency to like really just like ride up and like get lodged in there in a way that to me, it's just like, it's so uncomfortable. And I feel like it's not healthy for your holes to be suffocated by a thong.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Whereas like other underwears that are maybe a bit, they're not like a thong. So they don't really like, they don't as easily like get sucked up into your holes. Those feel healthier for the holes. I'm the queen of a seamless, like little boy short underwear, because again, I don't wear thongs anymore. I refuse.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Majority of the reason why we wear a thong is because, you know, I mean, I guess maybe some of us wear it because it's like hot and we're like feeling ourselves. But I think a lot of times it's because there's no underwear lines, right? I just got to a point where I was like, this is so uncomfortable. I can't do it anymore. I don't even care. I need to figure out something else.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
What's the alternative? This can't be the only underwear line list option. You know what? It kind of is. It kind of is. And that is what I will say about a thong. It absolutely serves a purpose. You know, if you don't want underwear lines at all, if you want it to be smooth, smooth, smooth on the butt, you got to wear a thong. It's the only option.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I have probably the best pair of seamless underwear on the market. I think I've tried so many. And even then, sometimes it'll get a little bit bunchy and you'll see the underwear lines, you know, like it's just it is what it is. And that's the risk that I take. But I have to put some respect on the thong. It's either a thong or no underwear. That's as close as you're going to get.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And I've done both for multiple years at a time. Yes, I've done thong and commando. And I've actually brought that up in another episode recently, the fact that I was a commando gal for a while. And I'm just wondering why I keep bringing it up. No one really needs to know that, but I was.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And the truth is, is that, you know, pants and dresses and skirts and all this, it's so nice when you're wearing a thong. But my God, it's too uncomfortable for me and I'm never wearing them again. Moving on. I hate blush. I really don't like blush. I just, when it comes to makeup, it's one of those things that I just never really liked.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But more recently, I've grown to dislike it more because it's super trendy. I feel like it's been a huge makeup trend over the last few years to like wear a fuck ton of blush. Now, let me be clear. I am not saying I hate blush on other people. I don't give a fuck what makeup other people do. Like it really, that I don't hate. it on other people, but I hate it on me, hate it on me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But I guess that's the positive thing about it is that I don't hate it on other people. In fact, I think it can look quite beautiful on other people, but as it's becoming more popular, I'm more aware of how much I don't like it on myself because every time I see it on somebody else, I'm like, oof, I couldn't, I couldn't and I wouldn't. And so, you know, I'm just more aware of it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
There's something about that that I find fun. However, it's fully against privacy. my morals and values. Like, being a hater is fully against my morals and values. I do not think it's okay. I know it's bad. And it just happens to be something that I am particularly prone to. Which means I have to pay extra attention
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But yeah, you know what? It looks incredible on some people. And that's like awesome. I mentioned this earlier, but we're finally coming around to it. I absolutely hate delays, changes in plan, minor inconveniences that get in the way of getting something done. Like I absolutely hate these things. To me, I love efficiency.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I love writing down a schedule for the day and just getting every single thing done. I hate wasted time. There's nothing I hate more than wasted time. I'm so anal about time optimization that it's definitely toxic. It's definitely a flaw. But that leads me to hate Minor inconveniences, delays, changes of plans, you know, these things get in the way of my time optimization.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
They prevent productivity, all these things that I'm sort of obsessed with in a toxic way. And to me, you know, these things can be catastrophic. Like I have a tendency to, when I'm in a hateful mood, run into some sort of delay, change of plans, minor inconvenience, et cetera, and just fucking lose it. Like that is often the straw that breaks the camel's back for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
If I were to try to find the silver lining, number one, these things are never that big of a deal. I tend to overreact about them. The nature of these things, they're frustrating, maybe. They're, again, inconvenient, sure, but they're not a catastrophe. Also, sometimes, not to get spiritual, but sometimes these types of things happen to change our course and it ends up being meant to be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Sometimes we're just not meant to complete a task when we wanted to. Sometimes we're not meant to go to dinner with our friends that night. We're meant to do something else. Sometimes your tire will go flat because for some reason you weren't, supposed to leave for the road trip you were going to go on that day. Like sometimes this stuff just happens for a reason.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And I think when we welcome minor inconveniences, delays, changes in plans, we're able to find that silver lining. We're able to be like, oh, you know what? Maybe this wasn't meant to be today. And I'm actually pretty good about that when I'm in a good state of mind. But when I'm in a hater state of mind, this type of shit really fucking sends me. It sends me. But you know what?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
It can be a beautiful thing. And it can just be meant to be. Moving on, I hate room temperature water, which sounds so fucking bratty. Like, I only like water with ice, but can I be honest? I really, really don't like the taste of room temperature water. It makes me nauseous. And I really, really love a crisp ice cold water. And I really, really don't like drinking water without ice in it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
To me, it's gross. And to me, I hate it. And one of my pet peeves is when I'm at a restaurant and they don't bring me ice with my water. And again, I know I sound like a brat. I sound like a total fucking brat, but that's just how I feel. But you know what?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I will say if you need to get water down the gullet fast, if you need to drink water fast, if you're dehydrated and you just want it, well, if you're dehydrated, you shouldn't drink water fast. I've done that before and like almost thrown up. But if you want to chug water for some reason, room temperature water, you can guzzle. Ice water, you have to sip. You do. And it sometimes hurts the teeth.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
to the side of my brain that can quickly fall into a hater sort of rhythm because I feel like our true colors and our weaknesses come out in challenging times, right? And so for me, when everything is good in my life, it's easy for me to not be a hater. I don't really have to check in on it I'm just not a hater.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
It's hard to guzzle. I mean, it's delicious. In fact, it's like making me crave it. I have my Stanley cup over here. Let me just have a little sip of my water. Oh, it's absolutely ice cold. I'm actually drinking some sparkling water with some apple cider vinegar in it. It's so sour today. I really put a lot of vinegar in there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I feel like my teeth are just like corroding from every sip that I drink because of how much vinegar is in there. But I couldn't chug that if I tried. I mean, the vinegar and the carbonation doesn't help either, but it's so cold. You can really just chug room temperature water. And for that reason, I actually think that it's quite beautiful. Okay, next. I'm not trying to be petty here.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I'm not trying to pick a fight. I'm not a big fan of Starbucks. Okay, I'm not gonna say I hate Starbucks. Okay, that's a little bit extreme. Because I don't think I hate Starbucks. I did in the past, but I think more recently I've tried to change my mindset and I don't hate Starbucks anymore, but I don't love it, right? And I'm somebody who's really into coffee.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
So, you know, understandably so, I'm critical of these massive coffee chains because I'm like, this is a product that I really love. I guess I'm just extra judgmental. Listen, here's why perhaps I dislike Starbucks. Okay. I think the plain coffee, right? Like getting like a classic latte with almond milk or getting like a classic matcha, you know, they're simple drinks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
They're classic espresso drinks that don't have a bunch of syrup and don't have a bunch of sugar and don't have a bunch of whipped cream and don't have a bunch of, you know, cookie crumble shavings. It's not great. It's not super high quality. You Do I blame them? Not necessarily. They're in mass. They're massive.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And when things are that large, when you scale your business to that size, understandably, the quality is just not going to be as good. You know what else I don't like about Starbucks? I don't like the decor, the aesthetic. I really, I don't love it. I feel like Starbucks used to have sort of a charming... kind of hipstery, cutesy sort of aesthetic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And it feels very corporate and very kind of beige to me. I don't know. I get it. Okay. I get it. Starbucks, I'm about to find something nice to say about you. So don't hurt me. Okay. Or my coffee company. Luckily for you guys, Starbucks, my coffee company is not a threat to you, okay? I'm not on your coattails, so y'all don't need to worry about me, all right? We have one cafe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
We're in grocery stores, but we're not impeding on your shelf space, so we're good. But you know what I fucking love about Starbucks? A few things, actually. I came up with a few things. Number one, the fucking egg white bites. I absolutely love and adore the Starbucks egg white bites. Okay. Egg white, red pepper. Yum. I've tried to make them at home. Could never even get close. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Want to know why? Because Starbucks does it right. And no one will ever compete. Whoever developed that recipe, I hope that they're fucking retired and living in the Bahamas now. Okay. They should never work another day in their life. People who create good things should then retire and live their life in peace. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
So I really hope whoever developed the recipe for the Starbucks egg white bites, I really hope that you're relaxing and I hope that you're living in a house in the Bahamas and I hope that you don't have internet and I hope that you're disconnected and I hope that every day is a fucking joy for you because my God, you deserve it because you have done a public service. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But when some challenges arise, sometimes I start to become a little bit of a hater again. I'm constantly keeping this side of myself in check, right? And, you know, recently I discovered that I had fallen back into my hater mentality. I just have slowly but surely gotten back to a point where I just seem to hate everything.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Every time I'm in the middle of nowhere, which happens more than you'd expect. Okay. I'm on a road trip. I'm traveling. I'm at the airport. I'm, you know, whatever. I'm in the middle of like Los Angeles and I'm not familiar with the area and I have no... There's always a Starbucks and there's always egg white bites.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I know that whenever I'm hungry, I can find a fucking Starbucks and get the goddamn egg white bites and be full and have protein. I love the egg white bites and I love that I can get them whenever I want. They're always there. I get two orders. So that means four egg bites in total. And I get three sriracha packets and I eat my little egg whites with my little sriracha. It's just good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
It's just good. When it comes to fast food in a pinch, that's what I'm gonna get. It feels healthy enough. I don't feel like shit after I eat it. It's just, it's great. Thank you, Starbucks. If you need help redesigning all of your cafes, just call me. Like I know that I also have a coffee company, but for the love of God, you know, I love this stuff. So give me a call.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
My rate is very expensive though. I'm just kidding. Okay. Moving on. I absolutely hate sitting in an appointment for a long time. There are so many different types of treatments that are popular these days. Hair, nails, eyelashes, eyebrows, waxing, laser, infinite appointments. And there's nothing I hate more than an appointment that is like four hours long.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And let me tell you, I find myself sitting in some long appointments, okay? Mainly for me personally, My hair and my nails.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Those are the two things that I love having done so much That i'm willing to sit through a really long appointment, but there's nothing I fucking hate more Okay sitting in a long appointment for some reason I always get gas In a long appointment i'm like sitting still and my stomach always ends up hurting After like hour three my stomach's just killing me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I like need to fart can't because i'm Stuck sitting and also there's people around um My tailbone and back always hurt during a long appointment. My legs are asleep. I get up. I'm like wobbling around. I always start to feel sick after sitting in a long appointment for a long time. It's just horrible. Like whenever I go to get my hair bleached, it takes so long. And it's just like exhausting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
It's so exhausting. And I absolutely hate it. And same thing with getting nails done. Like I actually think it's fun to get like complex, you know, nails done. There's obviously like standard nail designs, like just getting like a classic nail done with like, you know, a simple color or you can do something more complex. You can get nail art. You could get like unique shapes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You could get, you know, your nail beds cleaned really well. And that sometimes adds like an hour or two. Like there's a lot of different things that you can add to your nail appointment that will add time. I would love to do those things. Like I'd love to like, you know, maybe get a more sort of complex sort of manicure in some way. I'm not like the biggest nail art girl.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I prefer more maybe subtle nail art, but like a little bit of it is kind of fun and I think can be timeless and cool and versatile, but it just takes too long. And I don't want to sit at the nail salon, you know, once a month for like four hours getting my nails done. Like I can't handle it. But the result, the result is so rewarding.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Like in the case for me, I absolutely love having my nails done. I absolutely love having, you know, fun hair that I enjoy styling. And a lot of times that requires a long hair appointment. Like again, right now my hair is bleach blonde and very short. I have to go in once a month to get it rebleached, to get it cut short again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
It's a very high maintenance hairstyle, but sometimes that's sort of the sacrifice you have to make, you know, a little bit of torture sitting in a chair for fucking four or five hours for the sake of self-expression, for the sake of, you know, self-care. And for the rest of the month, When my hair and nails are done, I feel a little bit more beautiful. I feel a little bit more cool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And for me, being a hater doesn't necessarily mean hating on people all the time, right? I mean, there's definitely certain people that end up getting caught up in my phase of hatred, but it's like everything. It's not just big things or specific people. It's everything. I just become a hater. I see everything through a hateful lens, significant and insignificant.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I have a little bit more fun styling clothes because my hair and my nails match the outfit. You know what? In that way, it is worth it. And maybe I'll start getting more complex nails done. But... I don't know. Maybe not. Okay, moving on. I hate the talking stage of romantic relationships. You know, the phase when you're overthinking every single little thing that you say to the person.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You're nervous every time you hang out with them. You're not really showing your full personality because you're too scared and you don't even know how. And they're not showing their full personality. And... it's a little bit tense and it's a little bit uncomfortable. Like you don't really know how to read the other person.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
So you're constantly like worried that maybe you did something wrong or that they like don't like you anymore. You don't know if they're taking it seriously. You don't know if they like want this to be something that lasts forever. long or short and it's just a mess, the talking stage. I fucking, no, I absolutely hate it. It's miserable for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I really don't like, like some people love it, like really find it exciting and fun and exhilarating and whatever, you know, like the physical chemistry is more explosive because it's new and exciting. I personally don't like it. Like there's nothing worse than when you've been talking to somebody a little bit and you've not had any like physical, you've not been sort of romantic with them yet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And you're like, oh my God, now there's all this buildup. Like when's it going to happen? And then you like start to get in your head and you're really nervous about it. And then it happens and it's either really good and you click really well, or it's like, ooh, that was actually not as great as I wanted it to be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And the whole thing is like so high stress and you can't get anything done in your life because you're focusing on this person. It's like all consuming. I hate it. You know, I do always sort of look back at it fondly. Like in the moment, I despise it. But when I look back, it's always one of the most like beautiful romantic times of a relationship.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Like when I look back at all of my exes, okay, every single one, the beginning was the most special. And then it got progressively less special. I don't know. Like when it comes to remembering my exes, the fondest memory I have with every single one is the beginning stage when it was new and it was exciting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And I think the goal, at least for me, is to eventually be with somebody where the fondest memories go beyond that beginning stage that is sort of magical. But also, well, but horrible. It's actually horrible in the moment, but it is sort of magical. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. Yeah, that's my goal. My goal is to have good memories with somebody that happen after that phase.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Like I don't want the sort of sweet memories to end, but that is sort of the positive silver lining of that uncomfortable time is that for whatever reason, it's a fond memory, even though in the moment it's so stressful, it's so overwhelming, it's so all consuming, it's like exhausting, but it is kind of a sweet memory. Next, I just absolutely hate itchy wool sweaters.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I cannot stand the feeling of itchy clothing. I mean, I guess I could just say itchy clothing in general, but especially itchy like wool sweaters. The feeling of itchy wool, it's actually shocking to me that they even make clothing that's itchy. anymore. Like it makes sense to me that like, I don't know, a hundred years ago, there wasn't as many options and like clothes were just itchy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But in private, I can be a little bit of a hater, okay? And I've always sort of been that way. Like I've always found weirdly a sense of joy in novelty in hating on things. I've always sort of loved gossip. Like there's just something about me that enjoys hatred. It kind of reminds me of my relationship to nicotine. For whatever reason, I just like nicotine.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You know, that was just sort of the way it was. Have we not evolved past that point? Okay. I have wool sweaters that are not itchy. I know it's possible. In fact, I'm wearing a beanie right now as I'm recording this. Um, cause it's a little chilly in my house.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
So I'm wearing a little beanie cause it feels kind of warm and good, but I've been wearing the beanie for a few hours and it's getting so itchy on my head and I want to take it off, but my hair is going to look terrible and I'm just, I don't want to, but my head is just, I'm itching. Oh my God. My head is itchy. Ouch. Oh my God, my head is absolutely itchy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Yeah, I hate the itch, but I will say though, I don't know why this is. Itchy sweaters are always the cutest. Itchy beanies are always the cutest. Like, you know, the chunkiest, cutest, most like luxurious looking knit. is always the itchiest. I don't know why it is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I can't tell you how many times I've been shopping in store and just like looking around, looking around, looking around, and I see a beautiful sweater. I'm like, wow, that is the most beautiful sweater I've ever seen. It has like this incredible texture. It has little things poking out of it, like little pieces of fabric. Like it just is so beautiful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
So I had an idea, an idea to help retrain my brain, hopefully. Is it going to work? I don't know. But here's my idea. Maybe I could find some value in doing a little exercise every once in a while.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Everything about it, texture, color, blah, blah, blah. It looks luxurious. It looks, you know, high quality. I walk up, too itchy, too itchy. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a scarf and I'm like, oh my goodness, this scarf. I mean, this is just an incredible scarf. It's the most incredible I've ever seen. The bright color, the dynamic texture. Let me try that thing on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Try it on too, Itchy. Can't do it. I feel like my sweater collection would be so top-notch if I wasn't as uncomfortable in an itchy sweater. Now, it's one thing to have a physical aversion to something. I hate how itchy wool sweaters feel. I think a lot of people probably do. that's fair, right? That's like a fair, rational thing to not like. But I think for me, it's sort of irrational.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I hate itchy sweaters. And I think what makes me hate itchy wool sweaters is the fact that every single time I see a sweater that I really like, I go up and I touch it and there's a 99% chance that it's going to be itchy and unwearable. And that's just such a shame to me and makes me wonder, like, how have we not figured out a way to eliminate the itch permanently?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Why are we still selling clothing that's itchy? I hate that. That is something that I hate. It makes me angry. But again, you know what? They are beautiful garments and the silver lining is that other people wear them. who don't mind the itch and I can enjoy it on them. I'll enjoy them on other people. Moving on, I hate when people aren't self-sufficient. Like, what's a good example?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Like, let's say your friend's car breaks down and they call you and they're like, hey dude, like my car broke down. Like, what do I do? It's like, I don't know, Google it. You don't need to call me and ask me what to do. You can Google it. Or let's say you're really good at something or really into something. Let's say I'm really into skincare, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And then one of my friends is like, oh my God, I've been really wanting to get into skincare. What products do you use? And you're like, oh yeah, fuck yeah. Let me send you all these products. So you send all the links and then You know, they're like, oh, well, how do I use them? And then you explain. And then like a week later, they're like, oh, wait, I've been thinking about this product.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And they send a photo of it. They're like, do you know anything about this one? You're like, no. And then they're like, oh, well, can you let me know if it's any good? OK, at that point, you need to just start doing your own research. Do you get what I'm saying? Like there's certain people who they're just their personality is they just don't do things on their own.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
A little exercise that consists of finding things that I hate unfairly, unnecessarily, irrationally, and then finding something nice to say about that thing in an attempt to sort of help to retrain my thought patterns. Is it going to work? Maybe, maybe not. But I thought it'd be a fun activity.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
They don't like I am very sparing about when I ask people for advice or for help. I wait until it's kind of an emergency or like this person. I've Googled it. I've tried to use my resources. I really just need help from a person. And then I go and I get help. But there's certain people that just want everyone else to help them through the world.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And that is something that I hate because, you know, I try to be sparing and intentional about how I use other people's time. And I would hope that people would do the same for me. And so when they are not self-sufficient and just start like realize, oh, this person like, you know, knows how to figure shit out. Like I'm just going to start going to this person. And it's like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
No, I'm self-sufficient because I just know how to fucking Google something or like I'll watch a tutorial. I'll figure something out, you know? And I'm not even the most self-sufficient person. Like there are people in my life who are way more self-sufficient than me, but like I'm self-sufficient enough to, and self-aware enough where, like, I don't abuse it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And there's just certain people who do, and that's something that really bothers me. However, number one, these people aren't bad people, okay? So let's be loving, Emma. Let's be loving. These people aren't bad people, okay? They're not trying to be inconsiderate. They're not evil. Just for whatever reason, they're not self-sufficient, okay? Everyone has flaws.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I have shortcomings, and so I should be accepting of others, okay? Because this is not the worst possible trait that someone could have. This isn't that harmful. You know what I mean? So that's sort of, you know, maybe something nice to say. What else? You know, helping people feels good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Maybe another silver lining is that people who are not self-sufficient need help and helping people feels good. Maybe? I don't know. OK, next. I really hate loud cars. I hate when people drive through the street and they just absolutely with their car. And it happens all the time in Los Angeles. And it's often so loud and startling that like I will jump and I fucking hate it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
OK, I just think it's obnoxious. I think it's unnecessary and I don't get it. But you know what? I'd like to believe that when the car makes the loud sound like that, it does make the driver of the car happy. If, you know what, I'm going to choose to believe that it brings the driver so much joy that their day is made every time they with the car really loud.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
If it brings somebody else joy, then I'll try to find joy in that myself. Okay. Yeah. Maybe moving forward, when I hear that sound, I can say, you know what, the person driving that car is is having fun. Yeah, that feels nice. I think that's something nice. That's nice. Moving on, I hate high heels. I do think that there's something wrong with the anatomy of my foot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I think my arch is too high on my foot. I physically can't wear high heels without being unable to walk within an hour. Blisters, back pain, foot pain. So listen, do I kind of hate high heels for a rational reason? Yes. But like I even like see other people wearing them and I'm like, oh my God, why are you wearing those? Like it's so uncomfortable. Like take those off. What are we doing?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You're out to dinner. Take them off. Why are you hurting yourself? Like I like hate them because I've experienced so much pain from them that now I just hate them every time I see them. Whereas with blush, right? Like I see blush on other people and I'm like, you do you. But I see high heels on other people and I'm like, why are we doing this? What if we all collectively took them off?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Now, listen, I feel like this activity only really works or makes sense when trying to find the positive in something that truly does not deserve to be hated. Because there are certain things that actually deserve to be hated, right? Like violence, injustice, hypocrisy. You know what I mean? Like there are things that do deserve to be hated.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You know, they're so uncomfortable. They also are kind of choogy, but like I kind of think a high heel is a little bit choogy. Like a fucking stiletto, to me, it's a little choogy. It feels kind of like, I don't know, there's something about it that's a little choogy to me. Like a little kitten heel, cute, you know? Like, I don't know, like a full-on heel, there's something about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
It just makes me cringe a little bit. Like from an aesthetic standpoint, I don't think it really looks that, like the shoe itself is kind of, It's hard to style it in a way that is, to me, not choogy. Have I done it? Absolutely. But do you want to know why I've done it?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Because the one high heel silver lining that I can think of is that sometimes it's just what an outfit needs to make the leg look good. A high heel can really change the entire silhouette of an entire outfit. So it does serve a purpose sometimes, but I do ultimately hate them. And my stylist, Jared, knows every time he puts me in a high heel that I'm going to complain about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Every single little red carpet event I go to, the heel gets a little bit shorter because he's like, I just can't hear Emma complain anymore. Okay, let's move on. Okay, this is going to be controversial and I just can't wait for somebody to cancel me for this or something. But I have a hard time See, I'm being so gentle and like media trained.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I have a really hard time with when certain people copy me. Now, I don't care about being copied for the most part, especially because I'm on the internet. And if somebody sees something that I do and is like, oh, I want to do that, and they're a consumer of my content, I'm like, that's great. Copy me all you want. But there are certain times when I hate when people copy me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I'm going to be honest, okay? I'm not saying it's right. I'm not saying that this is morally fair, but I'm just being honest that this is something that I hate. I hate when perhaps a peer copies me. I can have a really hard time with that. I also have a hard time with when a friend copies copies me a lot. Like it's one thing, listen, I copy my friends. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
When you're around somebody enough, you just start to absorb their personality traits. It's inevitable. But there's a difference between that and like intentional copying to a point where it's like, oh my God, I don't have anything of my own anymore. There's nothing that's just mine left because I'm being copied so much. Um, and I know it, I know it sounds petty and rude and like whatever, but
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I've always kind of had a hard time with it. And I think it's because I feel like it's detracting from me. Like if I do something that feels like a personal expression of myself and then someone else who's sort of close to me or is maybe even a peer who's maybe like in the same sort of space as me career wise or whatever, like copies me directly. I'm like, Come on, man.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Like, let's all we can all kind of do something similar. But like, let's all kind of do our own thing. Because to me, I feel like threatens my feeling of individuality. And which again, is that like, is that wrong? Maybe. But it's something that I've always hated. It's
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And I think too, there's part of me that's like, oh my God, if somebody gets praise for something that they like directly ripped from me, that kind of bums me out. But then that's also, it's like, Emma, you don't need any more praise. You fucking like narcissistic freak, like chill out. Listen, I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying it's the way it is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I'm not going to try to find the positive in those things today. I think it's valid and rational to hate those things. I'm talking about the things that I hate that it's a waste of my energy to hate these things. I don't know. This might be pointless, okay? We'll see. We'll see at the end of this if it had a positive impact on my brain or not. And if it had a positive impact...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I don't like being copied by certain people. There are certain people that trigger me when they copy me. Okay. However, this is actually really a sweet thing, and I should be a bit more graceful, okay? Number one, it's the highest form of flattery when somebody copies you. Highest form of flattery. They must love it. Right. It's a compliment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
It doesn't feel like a compliment because I sort of feel like, oh, my God, I've been ripped off. But it ultimately is a compliment. But also the truth is no one can really fully copy anyone else unless you like fully like let's say you are an artist and you painted a painting and then somebody literally screenshots it and starts selling prints of it. Like that's different.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But copying in the way that I'm saying, like making a podcast episode with this exact same title and basically making the exact same episode, but maybe there's a few differences, but it's pretty much exactly the same. That person's rendition is always going to be a little bit different.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Let's say I start wearing a lot of black and white stripes, and then one of my friends starts wearing a lot of black and white stripes, and then I get a new car, and then they get the exact same car, and then I I start saying a certain like phrase and then my friends start saying the certain phrase and then and it starts to build up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Yeah, they're technically, you know, kind of copying me in a way. But also the beauty of us as individual people is that even when we copy each other. We never fully can copy each other because we're all unique. You know what I'm saying? So there kind of is no such thing. There actually is no threat there. But, you know, you can feel sort of threatened in a way by that or frustrated or ripped off.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But it's actually not. And you know what? That's sort of beautiful. So... Next, I hate being spoken to when I'm in a quiet mood. Like some days I just want to go to hot yoga, go to the grocery store and not talk to anybody. And sometimes people talk to me and I really, really hate it. And I feel kind of bad because I'm like, Emma, you're evil.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You know, why don't you want, like, come on, be a human being, get yourself in the mood. But when I'm not in the mood to talk and people talk to me, it's really, I really hate it. I absolutely hate it because there just are some times when I don't have the energy and I don't, I don't, I just don't have it in me. But you want to know what, it's actually a beautiful thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Anytime a stranger talks to you. Why? Because number one, for whatever reason, you felt inviting to them. And that is such a wonderful compliment. Also, community and connection with other human beings is so important. Honestly, probably the most important when one is feeling like a hater. So perhaps sweet conversation could change a hater's perspective.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I think there's something kind of beautiful about that. Next, I hate oversleeping. It really ruins my day. Okay? Like, if I oversleep... the rest of the day for me is ruined. I'm out of whack. I'm not motivated. I feel like there's not enough time in the rest of the day to get anything done. When I'm in a hateful place, oversleeping will literally ruin my day immediately.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Waking up, it's 9.30 a.m. I've overslept. My day is ruined. Now I hate my life for the rest of the day. But you know what the truth is? Number one, you can always turn around a late start. Oversleeping is not the end. It's not the end of the day. The day is not ruined. That is not true. So that's one positive thing. Another positive thing is that sometimes like your body just needs it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
then you can steal this exercise and do it when you're being a hater. Okay, let's begin. I hate purses that are too small to fit your phone. I see one of these at a store or being carried by a beautiful, beautiful person, and I feel my skin start to get a little bit hot. I really struggle to not be overwhelmed by how ridiculous the concept of a mini little purse is. It drives me nuts.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You're exhausted and you're actually going to be more productive for the rest of the day because you overslept and you're well rested. And I guess last but not least, there's always tomorrow. Wake up early tomorrow. You know, this is just one day. Try again tomorrow. And last but not least, I hate when people are overly nice. It really fucking pisses me off.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Like I have a really hard time with people who are almost like sickly sweet, you know, like positive to a point where it's like, oh my God, are you even like being a real, are you even a real human being? Like, do you even mean any of this? Like, how is this even possible? Like, is it even possible to be this positive? Seems a little bit too good to be true to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
To me, somebody who's like really positive, overly nice is lying, is faking, is hiding something. But you want to know what? These types of people are harmless. And they're actually, their impact on the world is probably... very positive. These are not harmful people. These are not the people to hate.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But for whatever reason, I'm more bothered by people who are overly positive, overly nice, because there's just something about it that to me feels sinister and I just hate it. But it's not fair because they're not doing anything wrong and they're probably happier than I am. Maybe not. Okay, I'm done. That was me trying to say something nice about things that I hate.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I do not feel like this activity changed my life. I can't even say that this activity changed my perspective. Okay, so am I going to recommend this exercise to you? No. Actually, you know what? It was kind of a positive exercise. I think it would actually be fun to do this with someone else. Like maybe if you are going to do this, do this with one of your hater friends if you're a hater.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
It's fun because you get to sort of vent about what you hate, which is really kind of cathartic for us haters. But then you counteract it with something positive. And I don't know, we'll see in the following days whether or not this exercise sort of got me into the routine of finding the positive in things that I dislike. I actually think that there's a chance that it might. Can I guarantee it?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
No. I can't, but I hope it does. That would be great. So maybe give it a try. If you don't, that's fine. That's all for today's episode. You know what? It was one of the stupidest ones I've ever made. Actually, Emma, stop. I'm trying to stop you. See, that was hateful. That was hateful. That was me hating on myself, okay? No, it was not one of the stupidest ones I've ever made.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Perhaps it was experimental. You know, I've never made an episode like this before. I came up with my own exercise to help with, you know, one of my issues. So it was experimental, but it was not stupid. Okay. Experimenting is good. Anyway, I need to make myself like a little matcha or something. I'm getting the afternoon sleepies. It's 1.30 PM.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I'm feeling afternoon sleepies and I need a little matcha. Okay. I think that'd be good for me. So I'm going to go make that. But thank you all for listening and hanging out as always. It's a pleasure. I truly adore and love you all. And when we hang out, it's fun. So come hang out on Thursdays and Sundays, new episodes on Thursdays and Sundays.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You can stream anywhere you get podcasts and video is on YouTube and Spotify. Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes. I'm on social media at Emma Chamberlain and my coffee company can be found online at chamberlaincoffee.com or on social media at Chamberlain Coffee or in stores, Target, Whole Foods, Sprouts, Albertsons, Air One if you're in the LA area. Check us out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And that's all I have for today. I love you all. I appreciate you all. And I don't hate you. I promise. I actually am kind of feeling less like a hater already. So maybe this is really good. Maybe things are looking up. All right. I'll talk to you later. Bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Okay, the whole point of a bag is that you bring it with you to carry your stuff. Now, it's the 21st century, baby. And you know what we all have all the time? Cell phones. If you're carrying a little bag that can't even fit your phone, what the fuck is it there for? And I'm seeing these designer brands come out with these teeny tiny little mini bags and it doesn't even hold a phone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
What the fuck is going on? Now, I don't want to see any of you go back and find a photo of me carrying a super mini bag. OK, because if I've ever carried a super mini bag, it was against my will. OK, I was going to an event with a brand and they were like, hey, can you carry this bag? I was like, is there one that's bigger? And the answer was no.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
That is the only time I can't even remember if I've ever carried like a little mini bag that doesn't hold anything. I know I have. I know I have because it was a huge trend and it's still a huge trend. And so I've definitely to an event or something had to carry a really mini bag because that's what, you know, that's what product the brand wanted me to be holding.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
when photos were being taken, right? There are sometimes moments when this type of stuff happens. I can guarantee that every single time I've ever had to carry a super mini bag, I've also had another bag that was actually holding my stuff and it was being held, you know, off camera or whatever. I just think it's ridiculous, okay? And it's a huge pet peeve of mine and it drives me crazy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And I would go as far as to say that I hate mini purses. Hate. But now that I've let that out, let's try to find something nice to say. For one, I do love many things. I actually do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You know, whenever I see a little video on YouTube Shorts, although I'm trying not to watch YouTube Shorts as much anymore, but when I see a little video on YouTube Shorts of one of those mini kitchen cooking videos, if you don't know what I'm talking about...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Someone has this little mini kitchen, okay, that they like light little candles underneath the like little stove and they have like little water tanks or something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Like I don't even know how it all works, but they have all these mini little things that power this mini little kitchen and they cook little meals in this little kitchen with their big fingers are in there cooking in this mini little kitchen and I'm obsessed. I love that. When I was a kid, my favorite toy was any sort of mini doll.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Polly Pocket, mini doll houses with mini little beds and mini little closets with mini little clothes and mini little pillows. I love mini, okay? I am one of those people who finds joy in a mini thing. I think things that are mini are cuter than things that are normal size. In fact, I was at this little trendy gift shop in Eagle Rock, a very trendy shopping area in Los Angeles.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Some people I know couldn't care less about it. They smoke a vape, smoke a cigarette, whatever, and they just never get hooked, and they just never like it, and nicotine never works for them, and they just never get addicted, and it just never happens. I'm the opposite. For whatever reason, I've always loved it, okay? Does it ultimately impact me negatively?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And I made my way into the kids section and I stumbled across this little brand that makes these little like matchboxes, cigar boxes, little functional boxes. filled with little mini mice in little outfits. And I bought two of them, okay? I bought this little cigar box that has like a little mini bed inside with two little mini mice in pajamas.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I bought this other little box that has, you can open it and then like there's a little tiny mouse that has like a little tiny surfboard. Okay. And you can like strap its little feet into the surfboard and lean it against the box and it sort of stands up. I bought that for my dad. I don't even know if he's going to want it, but I bought it for him because he's a surfer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Is he even going to like that? I don't know. But I thought it was too cute. I had to buy it because it's mini and it's so cute. Okay. Okay, I love mini things. And a mini purse is technically a mini thing. So in that way, I actually do think it's cute. Okay, function aside, I think mini bags are kind of cute.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Another thing that I think is kind of nice about the mini bag is that it can be a bit humorous. It can be sort of a conversation starter. When you're carrying this tiny little mini bag, it is a bit ridiculous. Everyone knows that you can't put anything in there. And so there's actually something sort of camp about that. Like I'm literally carrying this little bag around and nothing fits in it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I can at max fit like a vape and a lipstick in there. There's something kind of funny about that, which I think could be sort of a beautiful conversation starter. I actually fuck with that. I love humor in fashion. And last but not least, maybe there are some nights when you don't want to bring your phone and you just want to bring a little lipstick and a little vape.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And that's when you bring the mini bag out. You know, maybe there is a function for some people. For me, I never feel safe leaving the house without my phone. But if you do... And that's how you disconnect sometimes in bringing the mini bag forces you to leave the phone at home and disconnect. You know what? That's beautiful. I hope that there's someone out there that where that happens.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You know, I really hope so. Oh, you know, also, I think it could be kind of fun to like clip a mini bag onto a larger bag that could kind of look cool or be kind of funny. In fact, I've actually sort of done that. I'm now remembering an event that I went to where they were like, hey, can you bring this tiny little mini bag?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And I was like, yes, but only if I can bring the exact same bag in a larger size as well. So I'm holding both at once. And they were like, sure. And I thought it was like, I don't know, silly. Okay, so see, there's something positive about a mini little bag. Let's move on to mushrooms. I despise mushrooms, okay, for two main reasons. Number one, the texture.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Bouncy, chewy, gummy, light, weird, what the fuck? Like, mushrooms in my mouth, it's wrong. It feels wrong. There's something about how light and bouncy it is. It's so unnerving to me. So that's number one. Number two, I hate the way a mushroom looks. Flip that thing over. See those little lines, those little fibers underneath the top of the mushroom? Disgusting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Yes, because having nicotine in my system makes me anxious and paranoid, and it makes me dissociate. It has a bunch of negative effects. But in the short term, I love it. I absolutely love it. The way that it releases chemicals in my brain, I just absolutely love it. And I'm prone to being addicted to it. I feel the same way about being a hater. Like there's just something about me that enjoys it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
There's something about that texture, just the way it looks? Disgusting. You know, and I think that I'm particularly hateful towards mushrooms because I grew up a vegetarian and at every single restaurant, it feels like the vegetarian option contains mushrooms. And it makes sense, really, because mushrooms are sort of a meaty kind of vegetable. You know, they have like an umami sort of flavor.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
They're less vegetal, more umami, which is more reminiscent of, say, meat, right? They're hearty in some ways. I don't even really know because I've never eaten them, but I've heard that they're sort of heartier. And, you know, restaurants love to just grill up a portobello mushroom and put it in between two buns and call it a veggie burger. I mean, you know, restaurants just love to do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And so I guess maybe for me, the hatred stems from just like a pure dislike combined with constantly having it be my main option. you know, less so now. I feel like when I was growing up, you know, mushroom was sort of the main meat alternative, but food technology has advanced to things far more palatable. There are a lot of fake meats on the market these days.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And so restaurants aren't really relying as much on mushrooms. But like in the early 2000s, I just, it was, there was mushrooms everywhere. It was like, get out of my face. But now I have to say something nice about them. Well, for starters, I will say that mushrooms are really cute, okay? If I'm like walking through the forest, which happens sometimes, and I see a mushroom, I'm delighted.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Like when I'm looking at a mushroom from the top and I can't see the creepy fibers that are underneath, Mushrooms are super cute. And they also remind me of being a child and being obsessed with fairies who, of course, live in the forest and live under mushrooms. I don't know. I see a mushroom and I think, maybe there's a little fairy living in that mushroom.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. So in that way, I love mushrooms. Actually, I even have some outdoor decor that are mushrooms. I have these sort of stone mushrooms in my backyard and I love them. I think that they're precious. And when it comes to mushrooms being a food, I actually kind of love the way mushrooms smell.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Like if I'm walking past a restaurant that's cooking mushrooms or a house that's cooking mushrooms, I know that smell and it's delightful. It is a delightful smell. Honestly, I think the smell of cooking mushrooms is one of my favorite, like, savory smells. It's kind of unbelievable. So you know what? Maybe mushrooms aren't so bad after all. But I am not going to eat them ever. Okay, moving on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
You know, I've always struggled with finding hobbies. Ever since I was a kid, I remember being so jealous of the kids who seemed to just find their hobbies effortlessly. Almost as though their hobbies just fell into their lap. You know, like the kids who got put into soccer camp when they were four years old. And then by 14 years old, they were soccer prodigies.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
A manicure looks good because your cuticles got cleaned and your foot got scrubbed and your hands got scrubbed and you got lotion put on and then they put oil and then alcohol, sprayed alcohol. Like it's this whole process, okay? It's not just like putting on nail polish. When you're at the nail salon, there's like a 90-step process that goes into a simple manicure.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Like, how is he able to find so much fulfillment and excitement from these arguably pointless tasks? Like, I don't know. I always really just struggled with the concept of hobbies. Always. In fact, to fully paint this picture for you, let me tell you about every single hobby I've ever had throughout my life, at least that I can remember. Thank you so much for watching.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
But when you don't have proper training, all you're doing is just putting polish on and taking polish off. You know what I'm saying? In addition to that, gel polish started to become a thing. And I was like, wait, I don't know how to put gel polish on myself. And I'd way rather have gel polish than regular nail polish because regular nail polish chips and, you know, takes forever to dry.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Like I want to try out gel polish or everybody was calling it shellac at the time. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to start going back to the salon. So I ultimately went back to the salon and I stopped doing nail art and it was kind of heartbreaking. I would honestly love to learn how to do nails, not only on myself, but also on others. Like I just love the art of nails.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I've always loved it. But right now I have short little nails, short little nails with no art on them. Next, we have one of the most successful hobbies I've ever had, and that was competitive cheerleading. I was a competitive cheerleader for like five, six years, okay? That's pretty good for me. Every other hobby I just mentioned was max two years, if that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
So five or six years cheerleading, pretty good. I started cheerleading because, shocker, one of my cousins started doing cheerleading, and it looked so fun to me. she was showing me videos of her cheer team and like the stunts that they were doing. And then we would like try to do stunts with just us and like our other cousins. And I loved it. And I was like, I need to join a cheer team.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
So I ended up signing up and the first team that I was on was literally so bad. It's insane. I watched the videos from this cheerleading team. We were obviously the lowest level, but we were like lower than the lowest level. Like we were so bad. This first team, we went to competitions and got last every single time. It was insane how bad we were, but I got the bug because
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I got addicted to cheer. This was the first hobby for me that like I really became passionate about. Like I fully dedicated myself to cheerleading and I fucking loved it. When I first started, I had practiced I think three days a week. You know, that's a decent commitment. And I practice in the gym with my team and outside of the gym. Like I was practicing at home.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I was like going out on my front lawn at my dad's house, like doing cartwheels, doing back walkovers, doing roundoffs, you know, trying to practice the splits to get more flexible. I was like, I am going to be a good cheerleader. And after a few years at this tiny little local cheerleading gym, um, I got pretty good. You know, I could do backflips here and there and I got kind of good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And then I ended up ultimately moving to a more competitive cheerleading gym that actually required me to drive one hour to cheerleading practice because it was in a whole other town far away. Multiple times a week, I think four times a week. And the cheerleading gym that I went to was one of the best in the United States. Yeah. And I was driving an hour to go there and I was not on the best team.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
That is for sure. I was on like a mid-level team and I never went higher than that, but I got really into it. Going to a gym an hour away from me, it's dedication. Also my parents, I also feel horrible for my parents. I don't know why they did that for me. I begged, I begged though. I begged. I've never begged harder for something in my life because I really love cheerleading. I
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I loved it to the extent that I was on Instagram and Twitter and I was following all the famous cheerleaders. And I was looking at updates about famous cheer teams all the time. And I was constantly stretching and practicing at home. And I was obsessed. I lived and I breathed cheerleading. I loved it. But in high school, the passion started to fade. It just became too intense, I think.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Like, you know, driving an hour to practice like four times a week, training really hard and ultimately not improving that much. Like I wasn't improving that much.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And it was starting to get to the point where I was like, okay, I have three or four more years left of my cheerleading career that like I can like even legally participate in because like the cutoff for cheerleading competitive is for the most part 18. There's some... competition cheerleading that you can do after 18, but not as much.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I was like, I'm not going to get that much better in three or four years. And I'm dedicating a lot of my time to this. My body hurts because I'm training so hard. I want to go to a good college one day. I And I'm focusing so much time on cheerleading. I don't have time for school. I should probably quit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And then I was doing high school cheerleading a little bit there, even though I got kicked off the team. But then they put me back on the team a little bit. And I was like, oh, OK, maybe I'm going to be back on the team. And then my first performance back with my high school team, I broke my hand. And then it was like, fuck it. I'm just done. I'm done with cheerleading. I'm done.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
It's ruining my body. My back hurts. Now my hand is broken. I'm just done. And I don't regret quitting. I don't because I think I ultimately had to quit. Like I wasn't ever going to be at the level that I like dreamed of being at. And to me, like the hard work wasn't worth it unless I got to that point. So I gave up. But I still absolutely love cheerleading.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And sometimes I go on YouTube and watch cheerleading competition performances. And that's weird, but I do it. Okay, another hobby. This one started, I think, in high school, running. After cheerleading, I was like, what am I going to do with my time? And I wanted to try another school sport, so I tried cross country and track. And let me tell you, it was miserable. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I absolutely hated running. I hated it. I literally, oh my God, I hated it. But to me, it felt like a sport that I could just jump into and get decent at quickly because unlike something like lacrosse or soccer, like you need years of experience to know how to navigate the ball. You know, to truly be able to multitask in the way that soccer, lacrosse, these sort of ball sports require.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
It's just, it's not beginner friendly. Whereas running, everybody knows how to run. Everybody's run before. You know, when I was a cheerleader, I used to run. We were forced to run like two miles twice a week outside of practice. And then we had to send a screenshot to our coach that we did it. So like I had run before, you know, I'd been running. So it felt like something I could do anyway.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I've, I absolutely hated it. I was so slow, especially at cross country. Cause that's like long distance running, you know, at our cross country meets, we were running two miles, three miles, four miles. I was always in last place in JV. I am not a long distance runner. Track was better for me. And they actually put me in hurdles, which I really liked.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
That was kind of good for me because I was flexible for being a cheerleader. So it was kind of fun. I did each for one season. I did cross country for one season. I did track for one season. And it just didn't stick for me. Not only was I so bad at it, it wasn't fun either. you don't have to be good at something to enjoy doing it. Amen. Amen to that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Feed by hand for a playful moment, in a bowl for a creamy treat, or as a topper to make mealtime fun. Visit TemptationsTreats.com to learn more. Now, let's get back to the episode. As a kid, I really loved listening to music with my dad. And I watched my dad play music, play guitar, sing. I was like, I want to do that. So my dad was like, let me teach you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
But see, the problem with running was in specifically running as a sport, you know, cross country and track, I wasn't good at it and it wasn't fun. So it was like, okay, we're done. So I ended up never doing that again, but I, actually continued running as a hobby on and off up until recently. I've gone through running phases time and time again since high school, and it's never fully stuck.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I've had like good, decent chunks of time where I've been running really consistently, but I wouldn't say it's ever fully stuck. And can I tell you something? I've never fully enjoyed it. The thing that I have always loved about running is how I feel afterwards. I feel incredible afterwards. But while I'm running, I'm miserable. And I've never experienced runner's high.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I thought a few times I did, but then like my back and legs just didn't hurt for a second. And I thought I had runner's high. Like running hurts. I hate it, to be honest. I really hate it. As you can tell, I'm not in a running phase right now because I'm speaking negatively about it. For whatever reason, there are times in my life when I really enjoy it or I convince myself that I really enjoy it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And it becomes a part of my routine. And I might even recommend to people, oh my God, you should start jogging. You should give it a try. I'm into it right now. But in retrospect, I think because I've found forms of exercise that I prefer, I look at running and I'm like, you never liked that, idiot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I briefly interrupt this episode of Anything Goes to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Squarespace. So Squarespace helps you make websites that look so good. But get this, they also give you everything to sell your services and get paid all in one spot.
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the struggle to find a hobby
We're talking scheduling tools for things like appointments, email marketing, and they can even help you handle invoicing and online payments too. It's basically an entire business toolkit. Start your free trial at squarespace.com. And when you're ready, use squarespace.com slash Emma for 10% off your first website or domain. Now let's get back to the episode. Okay, now we get to the kicker.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
The next hobby I got into was making YouTube videos. Now this one did work out for me. It started out as a hobby to keep me busy during one summer. I just was in a dark place in my life. My dad was like, you need a hobby. You should make YouTube videos. You watch YouTube videos all day long and all the time, almost like that is your hobby.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Maybe your hobby should be making YouTube videos instead of watching them. Maybe that would be good for you. So I started making YouTube videos and, you know, I liked everything about it. I liked filming it. I liked editing it. Like the whole thing was a great hobby for me. Now, here's where things got a little bit complicated. My hobby became my job very quickly.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Nobody wants to hear a fucking person whining about how their hobby became their job because in a lot of ways, that's the dream. You can get paid to do something that you would do for free. However, for some reason, When your hobby becomes your job, it changes the way you feel about the hobby. This is a very common experience.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And I do think that there's a way to experience hobby-like joy from your career. But a few years in to your hobby being your career, you're like, wait a minute. I hate this now. Now this just feels like a job.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And again, it sounds whiny and it sounds ungrateful and it sounds, it sounds sort of ridiculous, but I've experienced this and everybody that I know whose hobby has turned into their career agrees with me. It's this, like, it's this cursed sort of thing that happens where sort of the impossible happens. a hobby that you loved so much turns sour for you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And I think that there is a way, again, I think that there is a way to turn it back around, but I think it's almost inevitable that at a certain point in your career, it gets complicated. And so that has definitely happened to me with making YouTube videos. It started out as a hobby. It very quickly became a job. And that was actually okay with me for a little bit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And let me tell you, the same thing would happen over and over and over again. We would have like a singing lesson or a guitar lesson or something. And it would start out inspired. I'd be like, yeah, let's fucking do this thing. You know, I'm going to sing Hey Soul Sister by Train. I'm going to hit all the notes. You know, maybe we'll even record it and listen back to it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
But then I started to put all this pressure on myself. to put out as many videos as possible. And the pressure started to get to me, and I experienced a lot of creative block and a lot of burnout from pushing myself too hard. And then I started to become more known publicly. Not even that famous, but to me, I felt kind of famous all of a sudden. And I was like, okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And then that came with its own slew of complications. And then That made me afraid of posting YouTube videos because I was like, oh my God, I like don't even want to be perceived anymore. Like I'm afraid I won't go into it into too much detail. But that hobby became very complicated very quickly for a number of reasons. And it is still a hobby of mine. I still love video creation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I will never stop loving that. But it's been very challenging to get back to a healthy place with it. It's brought a lot of complication, a lot of intense emotions. Like there's been a lot to handle on this journey and it's made it very hard for me to sometimes participate in this hobby that I truly do love. There's been a lot of other variables that have complicated it because it became my career.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
But I will say that that is a hobby that has stuck. And it's one of the first ones that's ever stuck for this long. Like I've been making videos for what, seven years? And I don't make them as consistently anymore. But that is actually my longest standing hobby of all time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
But again, like going back to what I said in the beginning of this episode, I have always struggled with hobbies, even though this is my longest standing hobby. And I love it still. It has been a journey. It's like, this was my hobby. Now it's my job. Now it's stressing me out. Now I'm burnt out. Now I'm scared. Now everybody, now people are talking about me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Now everybody, oh my God, now I don't want anyone to see me. I don't want to show myself. I just want to be in private, but I can't because I'm making videos and people are seeing them. Like it became this mess. So this is sort of what I mean by I'm not good at hobbies. Even my best hobby, my most successful hobby has been incredibly complicated.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
It also became my career that I am immensely grateful for. So I have no regrets. But I'm just painting this picture for you. Anyway, moving on. A few years ago, I tried to learn to play drums because my dad bought a drum kit and put it in my childhood bedroom. And I went home for the holidays one year and I was like, what is this? And he was like, you need to try to play it. It's so fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I need to play drums. Like, what are you talking about? Like, why are they in my room? What's happening? And he taught me a few little drum beats and I was like, wait, this is actually really fun. And I really enjoyed it. And I ultimately decided to buy myself a drum kit because I loved it so much. And I was having my dad like send me drum beats so that I could learn them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I don't even know if that's the technical term, like a drum beat, like a pattern, like a drum pattern. which would maybe just make me better at playing drums. So then if I wanted to like copy a song or something or like learn to play with a song, it would maybe be easier. Anyway, I hit a wall with the drums.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I hit a wall with the drums because eventually it got to a point where my dad's like, I don't really have any more drum beats to send you. Like you already kind of know all the basic ones. Like you should just start playing with music. So I started playing with music, but then that got too hard. I like couldn't keep up with music.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
So then I was like, huh, OK, well, maybe I could find like some tutorials online that are a little bit more advanced than what my dad's teaching me. But I could never really find any good tutorials. And it was just like it. Anyway, I ended up quitting. I was like, fuck this. I still have a drum kit. I still sit down and play with it sometimes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
This is going to be great. Or, okay, it's time to learn guitar. Let's sit down and let's get going. Let's start strumming. I think playing guitar is going to be really satisfying. Mind you, this is at age like seven, eight, nine, 10, pretty young. Long story short, every time would start super inspired. I'd be super excited.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I have a lot of musical people in my life who love to sit down at that drum kit. It gets use. but not as much by me. And it makes me sad because I really love the feeling of playing drums, but I don't know the effective way to learn. And maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. And that could be true. Maybe I don't care deeply enough to figure it out. That's probably the case.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I think if I really wanted to, I would. But for some reason, I'm just like, you know, So I ultimately quit. And the same thing sort of happened with rock climbing. Okay. As you might remember, I was rock climbing a lot as a kid. Recently, I was like, you know what? That kind of sounds fun. I'm going to try rock climbing again. And then a few months ago, I went rock climbing again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And I was like, wait, this is awesome. And I had a really good time. Like I remember doing it and being like, I'm going to do this again. And the last time I went rock climbing was I think last weekend. And I was like, I am never doing this again. I'm not having fun at all. I think the reason why I enjoyed the rock climbing on day one of my rock climbing revival was because it was new.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I hadn't done it in so long that it was like a novelty because I hadn't done it. Every time I went back, it got more and more miserable until I just hated it and decided I'd never go back again. And it's a shame because I bought a really huge thing of climbing chalk for your hands. Yeah. And now I'm not going to be going back. I actually hate it. I actually really despise it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And I didn't have fun. Anyway, another hobby phase that I've been through time and time again, cooking. Wow. Wow. When I was a teenager, I got into cooking a little bit, mainly baking. I was baking a lot of like little cookies and stuff that were healthy. Like my mom and I were really into making healthy recipes, healthy cookies that were made with like nuts and maple syrup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And it was kind of beautiful and very tasty. And I remember really enjoying it and finding it therapeutic and Um, and then I sort of got sick of it in like, I don't know, my career sort of took off and I like moved to LA and I was like ordering food delivery for every single meal and then forgot cooking existed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And then eventually got to a point where I was like, this is an unsustainable lifestyle and it's ridiculous that I'm ordering food delivery for every single meal. This has to end. So eventually I started getting back into cooking again and then on and off over the phases, I think the challenge with cooking for me is, number one, it is a lot of work.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Doing the shopping, you know, grooming and cleaning your produce, storing everything, being smart and tactful about what you buy and how much of it you buy is And like when its expiration date is so that you can minimize food waste, like managing all of these different things. Also finding recipes that you like, doing research to find those recipes. Like it is such a time consuming process.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And after like 15 to 20 minutes, I would get so frustrated that I would storm out of the kitchen where we were doing these music lessons and And I would go in my room and slam the door because for some reason I got angry, either because the guitar was too big for my little fingers to reach around and pluck and press on, or the strings on the guitar were hurting my fingers.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And to be quite honest, I can't justify making time for it all the time. Like when I'm in a phase where my workload is pretty low, things are pretty chill. Like, I don't know. I got time to spare. I'll cook. But a lot of times it's like I don't have time to cook. Now, when I say cook, I mean cooking things from scratch. I only eat out on the weekends.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
That's sort of my rule because I had gotten back into a routine of food delivery again. And then I ended up drawing the line. I was like, no, we're only doing food delivery now. on weekends, during the week, food has to be cooked by hand. Does it need to be from scratch? No.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
If I want to put a frozen pizza in the oven, if I want to fry up a veggie burger and toast up some buns, if I want to make pasta with sauce from a jar, that's what I have to eat. But that's not cooking. That's not cooking as a hobby. That's like cooking for survival.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
It's a hobby when you're going to the farmer's market and you're picking out produce and then you're finding a recipe and you read the reviews of the recipe and then you set up your menu for the whole week so you know what you're going to cook that week and you buy all the right stuff and then you have a plan and everything's planned out and there's minimal food waste because you planned well and it's like this whole beautiful sort of
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
system that you got going on, that is when it's a hobby. And I just, I don't have the time for that all the time. Listen, if I really wanted to make time for that, I could, right? But there are other things that are more important to me than that. But I love cooking. That's what's so sad. I really love cooking and I love food science. Like I have watched so many cooking videos. It's unbelievable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I have so much cooking knowledge. I know more than the average person about cooking and yet I don't cook as a hobby. It's very weird. But again, it's just like I've never been able to fully embrace it as a hobby because it's too much work and I can't justify how time consuming it is. And last but not least, art, paintings, drawings.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
My dad is an oil painter and has been for as long as I can remember. And it's always brought him so much joy to paint. always wanted to experience just a sliver of that joy. And throughout my life, I've really tried to enjoy it. Okay. I've oil painted with my dad. I've taken art classes at school. I've I've played with pastels. I've played with colored pencils. I've played with charcoal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I've played with I have tried to enjoy the creation of art of this type of art my entire life. And I've always felt uninspired. uninspired, directionless, and ultimately miserable. I've never enjoyed making art. I've never enjoyed it. And it's always really bothered me because I always really wanted to enjoy it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And like a few years ago, I kind of got into like watercoloring and it was sort of soothing, but it's just never stuck for me until recently. In fact, not just art has stuck for me, but many hobbies have started to stick for me. It's fascinating. Don't get me wrong. There were a few hobbies that really stuck for me and really worked for me for like, you
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
YouTube and cheerleading being the main two, but more slow, simple, soothing hobbies. I just couldn't justify spending time on these things. It often felt like too unnecessary for me to continue spending more time on them. Like I would get to a point with almost all of these hobbies, like I'm wasting my time. Like I just need to give up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I also really struggled with getting past the initial stage when I was really terrible at something. Like it was really hard for me to get past the beginner stage with a lot of the hobbies that I had experimented with. And I also think too, in retrospect, I attempted a lot of hobbies for the wrong reasons.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Or the kids who started painting and doodling at age two and then by age 12 were being entered into art competitions. Or the kids who were obsessed with bugs starting at age three and now at age 15 are working at an internship at a bug scientist lab making paper mache replicas of bugs. I've always just felt like hobbies come easily to everybody but me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And of course, I didn't have calluses because it was my first day of guitar practice. Or I would sing and I would feel like my dad wasn't impressed enough with my singing voice and I would get frustrated and walk out. Whatever it was, I would end up frustrated. But then like a few weeks would go by and I'd be like, wait, no, let me try again. And I'd try again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
because they were bringing joy to other people, because I thought it would make me look cool if I participated. I was running into a lot of the same issues over and over and over again. It was rarely working out. And now, for some reason, I don't know what has happened, but finally I feel like hobbies are clicking. And a lot of the old hobbies that I tried long ago are now finally clicking for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And I'm like, wait, I'm actually finding joy from these things. And here's how I think I got here. Okay. Number one, sobriety. In October, I went sober. I stopped drinking alcohol. I have a suspicion that I have an alcohol intolerance and I haven't drank since. I feel really good, but it's also been incredibly boring. Being sober is boring. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I used to love going and getting a glass of wine on a Friday. I used to love getting drunk on a summer day with my friends in my backyard, just spending a whole day just drunk. I used to love that. And that all went away. And for a few months, I was like, oh my God, I'm so bored. I don't know what to do with all this time that I have now that I'm not drinking alcohol.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Drinking alcohol used to just make hours disappear. And the stuff that used to be fun with alcohol is now no longer fun. Going and sitting at a bar is not fun when you're sober. going to a day party. It's way less fun. Anyway, when you're not drinking alcohol, you are forced to entertain yourself in more classic sort of ways. Actually, alcohol is arguably classic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
It's been around for a long time, but in more wholesome sort of ways. Eventually, I got so bored that I was like, wait, maybe I'll draw something. Maybe I'll do an extra yoga class, or maybe I'll start playing guitar.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
All the free time that I used to put towards drinking and hanging out drunk, now I put towards hobbies because that's kind of my only option, which leads me to my next time suck that I used to indulge in far too frequently, emotional crutches and addictions. I used to spend so much time shopping, obsessing over toxic boys. What are my other emotional crushes?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I don't know, like gossiping, talking shit. Like, I don't know. I used to really allow myself to indulge in emotional crutches. And a few months ago, I really cracked down on myself. And I was like, we're not doing that anymore. We're done. No more toxic boys. No more excessive shopping. No more shopping addiction. No more nicotine. Although, listen, I still hit a vape every once in a while.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I still hit a vape every once in a while. I'm working on that one still. That one's hard. I was doing really well, and then I'm not doing very well right now. I've been hitting a vape every once in a while when I see it, when somebody has one around me. Just being honest, not proud of it. But I really have cropped down on emotional crutches.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I was wasting so much time and stunting my emotional development by allowing these things to distract me and numb my pain and give me a false sense of fulfillment. And I cracked down on them. And that's even more time I have available. I have no boy to be stressed out over. I have no shopping to do. What the hell am I going to do? That has also made hobbies feel more appealing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And then the same thing would happen. I would get pissed off and frustrated for some reason. And I'd quit again. And this happened over and over and over again throughout my childhood. And eventually I decided, number one, guitar is too hard. I'm never going to learn it. And number two, singing is way too embarrassing. I would never sing in front of anybody ever because that's embarrassing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
because I'm so bored. Anything remotely stimulating sounds interesting to me now. And it's fascinating, but it's also like awesome. I've always wanted to find hobbies that are exciting to me. This is like a dream come true. And I never would have expected it to come this way through severe boredom and the elimination of a lot of normal, I don't know, like activities in life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Like a lot of people drink and a lot of people go shopping a lot. And a lot of people doom scroll on their phone. And a lot of people date toxic people because it's kind of addicting. And a lot of people, you know what I mean? Like a lot of people participate in these activities and they also have hobbies.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
But for some reason, it wasn't until I eliminated all of those things that I could fully find the attention and the time and the space to participate in these hobbies. And I really do think that those are the main life changes that have led to me being able to participate in hobbies. But I do think that there are a few other maybe less significant but still notable shifts that have led to this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I think I used to try to force myself to participate in hobbies. The voice in my head would say, Emma, you need to do this hobby right now because doing hobbies is good for you and you need to be good at something. Now I'm like, do whatever sounds fun. I don't care. I've taken the pressure off of myself. I now choose the hobbies that I participate in more intuitively.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
So like, for example, let's use cooking as an example. If I really don't wanna cook and I'd rather just throw something together with a few pre-made things, Okay, I'll do that. And it's no big deal. If I really don't want to go to yoga class and I'd rather sit down and paint something, I'll do that. Like it's fine. You know what I'm saying? I used to be very harsh with myself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And I even sort of spoke in that way earlier when I was talking about cooking, how like I've never fully been able to make cooking a hobby because I've never been able to do it routinely. Well, I've sort of changed my perspective now where I'm like, I don't need to do something all the time for it to be my hobby. Like if I can do it whenever I want. Hobbies are not supposed to be chores.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
They're supposed to be enjoyable. And weirdly, by not forcing myself to do certain hobbies, it makes me want to do them more. I also think too, removing the expectation that I'll ever be good at these things and strictly doing them because they're enjoyable. I don't ever need to be a chef. I don't ever need to be a professional artist. I don't ever need to be a professional musician.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I don't ever need to be a professional yoga teacher. I just need to enjoy doing the hobbies I enjoy doing. And I think subconsciously without me even realizing it, when I was younger, I really wanted to be good at my hobbies. And I really wanted to be consistent and get really good at these things. And I've realized that pressure makes me want to participate in these things even less.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I also think too that it's really hard to participate in hobbies unless you feel productive in your work life. And for so long, it felt like work was constantly piling up for me until recently when I got ahead and removed that pressure. Now it's like, wait, I don't feel like I need to constantly be working to stay on schedule to meet the deadlines I need to meet. I'm so far ahead now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
So I can actually justify taking time to cook a meal from scratch or draw something. I can have a better work-life balance and I don't feel guilty about it. Because I think for a long time, I was like, any free time that I have should be dedicated towards getting more work done. That is made worse when your career is your hobby.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
So ultimately music didn't work out for me, which is a bummer because I wish I would have stuck with it. I love music. I have this like deep, like... yearning in my soul to just play instruments. And it's not too late, but if I would have started when I was a kid, can you imagine? I would be Sabrina Carpenter Jr. You know what I mean? I would be out there singing and twirling around on stage.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
There's no, like, why would I go do a hobby that isn't ultimately benefiting my career? I need to do the hobby that is benefiting my career. That's the hobby I need to be focusing on. Why would I waste my time doing any other hobby? And last but not least, I think I'm just more mature and more patient. It was harder for me to enjoy hobbies as a kid because I was impatient.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I wanted to be good at everything immediately. I got frustrated easily. And I think with age and wisdom comes the ability to truly enjoy slow, arguably pointless activities. I feel like I'm just drowning in so many hobbies that I love and enjoy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Like, for example, this summer I started making these little weird cartoons with pen and watercolor because my dad and I were on vacation and he, being a painter... was painting every day on vacation with watercolors. He was painting and he was having so much fun. And I was like, all right, you know what? I'll give it a try too. And at first I was trying to paint like him.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I was trying to paint landscapes and stuff like that. And then I was like, I fucking hate this. So then I just decided to make funny little cartoons. And then I was like, wait, why didn't I do this sooner? This is fun. The reason why I never liked doing art before was because I was trying to copy the way that my dad does art. He paints the world around him. That doesn't work for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I don't like that. That's not fun for me. That's boring. I like looking at photos of that. Like I love seeing my dad's paintings once they're finished. That's gorgeous. But like, I don't like to create that. These little cartoons, I love making them. Am I good at it? No. Is it hard for me? Yes. But this clicked for me. I'm just absolutely obsessed with making these little cartoons.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Number one, I feel like I have the time to make them. But number two, it's intuitive. I genuinely enjoy making these. I've also been, this is cringe, but I'm trying to learn guitar. And let me tell you, as an adult, it is so much easier than it was for me as a kid. As a kid, my fingers were hurting. I couldn't remember the chords. I barely even remembered the alphabet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
How am I supposed to remember what an A minor chord is? I don't know. It was just too much for me. I'm really loving it as an adult. It is really fun. Listen, it's fucking hard. I don't care what anyone says. Guitar is hard. And it's just one of those things that you get older and you're like, oh my God, I shouldn't start this. There's so many people who did this when they were younger.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
It's way cooler. Yeah, it just feels cringe. But it's not cringe. It's actually quite fun. And I really don't care about being good at it. I mean, it would be nice to like be able to maybe play a song one day, but I don't even care. It's just fun. And the fact that I'm enjoying it to me is like a miracle.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I also think when I was younger, I wanted to play instruments because I thought it would make me seem cooler or something. Whereas now I don't care about seeming cool. I mean, that's obviously the cherry on top, but I'm not as concerned about that. Like I'm not making my decision to learn to play guitar because I'm like, I want to be cool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I also recently got a button maker so I could make my own little buttons. I'm so excited. This is going to be a new hobby for me. I just love this idea, button making. Another hobby, yoga. I've been doing yoga for a very long time, but I never even thought of it as a hobby until recently when I was like, wait a minute, this is totally a hobby. I go to yoga multiple times a week and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I'm interested in getting better at it. I am getting better at it. Like this is totally a valid hobby. And for a long time I was like, no, like that's just me going to a workout class. No, that's a hobby. I also kind of realized like, wait, fashion is kind of a hobby for me. Putting together outfits, making mood boards, styling my friends. Like, I don't know, like fashion is a hobby for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And that was another one that like, I've grown to sort of acknowledge my existing hobbies as well and give them a bit more credit. You know what came back around for me? Sewing. I actually can't believe it because I've gone through a few sewing phases. Every single one has been sort of a failure, but I recently got a craving to start sewing again, and it's been a joy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I don't know if I would have liked that, to be honest, but it could have happened. if I would have stuck with it. But I got discouraged and I hated it. And then, you know, it only got worse when I got older. And I was like, and this is embarrassing. Like when I was a kid, it was like, this is too hard. And then it got worse when I got older because I was like, and all of this is cringe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Sewing was too hard for me as a kid because I just didn't have the prefrontal cortex for it yet. Now, sewing is coming to me so much more easily. I don't know. It's just more fun. But also, it goes hand in hand with fashion being a hobby of mine. Sewing makes sense for me now. It did not make sense for me as a kid. I've been loving it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I think what's allowed me to enjoy sewing the most, though, is my newfound sort of patience. Because it is tedious and it is frustrating. You'll work really hard on something just to realize that you made a mistake and you have to seam rip everything and start over. It's very frustrating. It requires a lot of patience. And the very... easy, simple alternative would just be to go buy something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
You know, it's like so easy to not sew something from scratch. But I have sort of this newfound patience that makes me enjoy it. In fact, maybe I'll sew later. That kind of sounds appealing. Actually, it doesn't. I'm a little bit too tired for that. I have to have a good amount of energy to sew something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Like I have to start sewing something in the afternoon and be okay with spending the rest of the day doing it because it's very time consuming and taxing. So yeah, I love sewing. And last but not least, cooking. Listen, am I really cooking as a hobby? Not fully because I still don't think that I cook enough. But when I do cook, it's a hobby. It's just not consistent. I'm playing guitar every day.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I'm going to yoga multiple times a week. I'm participating in fashion all the time. The button making, it's kind of weird and it's definitely less consistent, but it's a niche specific cool hobby that I participate in sometimes. These cartoons, I'm making them all the time, every day. Did I already say that? I don't remember. But you get the idea.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
These things are, they make sense to call a hobby for me. Cooking, I don't know if I can call it quite a hobby yet. But it is sometimes. And hopefully more to come. Because hobbies are supposed to bring joy. And I can truly say that all of these things, whether I'm good at them or not, are currently bringing me immense joy. Even if I'm horrible at them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Even if I'm great at them, it doesn't matter because I am kind of good at yoga, I will say. But it doesn't matter because I'm able to find joy in them and it's so rewarding. And I guess the moral of this episode is if you're having a hard time finding hobbies that stick, it might be because you have some toxic shit going on that you need to remove from your life first.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Or maybe you're just looking at hobbies in the wrong way. Maybe you're expecting too much out of them or you're choosing them for the wrong reasons. But it's worth figuring out how to find hobbies that you like because they can bring a lot of joy. And with that, I conclude this episode. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. It's always a pleasure.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And if you enjoyed it, new episodes every Thursday and Sunday. Come hang out. You can find Anything Goes anywhere you stream podcasts. But for video, you gotta go to YouTube and Spotify. Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I think all of this is cringe. Okay. So music didn't work out. I also tried a few different experimental sports. Okay. I tried figure skating. I tried karate. And And I tried like a hip hop dance class all between the ages, I don't know, six and 12, probably, approximately. I did them all for varying lengths of time. Like I think I figure skated for like a year.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I'm on social media at Emma Chamberlain and my coffee company is at chamberlaincoffee.com, at Chamberlain Coffee and at our cafe in Los Angeles and in retail stores like Target and Whole Foods and Sprouts. Anyway, okay, I'll talk to you later. All right, bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I think I did karate for like two years, which is actually kind of long. I did hip hop dance for like five minutes, actually. I think I did like a one month class. Did I hate these activities? No. In fact, for two out of the three of them, I actually went over and over again for longer than a year, but I was never passionate about these things. I wasn't passionate about figure skating.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I wasn't passionate about karate. It was cool and it was fun and I enjoyed it and I got a little bit better, but it never clicked for me. I never got past the point of being a beginner where I was like, oh wait, this is satisfying. Whenever you start any new hobby, it's not going to be fun in the beginning. It's just not. You're going to be frustrated. You're going to be confused.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
You're not going to have the skills to fully participate in the hobby. Like it sucks in the beginning. Even me as a kid knew like figure skating and karate, like these things are not going to be fun for me in the beginning. Like I have to practice, you know? but it never got fun. It wasn't miserable, but it never got fun. So I ultimately quit those things too. I think I liked it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Like, I think I enjoyed it, but I didn't love it. And at a certain point, when you've been doing something for like a year or two years and you don't love it yet, it's like, okay, I think we're good. You know, I also went to sewing camp. This was inspired by my older cousins. I have two older cousins on my dad's side that when I was a kid were like my idols. I thought they were so cool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I still think that they're so cool. But when I was a kid, it was like, oh my God, they're so cool. I want to be just like them. They're three years older than me. They're so old and cool, you know? And I remember they went to this local sewing camp and showed me a And I was just dumbfounded. I was like, I want to sew a pillow and like a skirt. Like that sounds awesome.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
So I begged my parents to sign me up and they did. And I did a one week sewing camp. I think it was during the summer when I was like probably eight. Like I was very young. which in retrospect is kind of impressive that they're like teaching eight-year-olds how to sew with sewing machines. Sewing machines are so scary and so dangerous.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Like you can really get injured with a sewing machine and they just let us use them. I don't know, they trusted us. It's kind of beautiful. And I mean, I was totally fine. I remember I sewed a little skirt, a little pillow and like a little pouch, literally exactly what they sewed. And I actually really loved it. Oh, and like a cross body bag too. Yeah, a little cross body bag.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And I am aware that that's a bit extreme, a bit irrational, but that's always how I've felt. I've had hobbies over the years that have stuck somewhat, but I have never really liked hobbies. Even the hobbies that really have been satisfying and exciting for me have always come to some sort of tragic end eventually. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
At eight years old, I actually did stick with sewing for a little bit. I probably sewed like once a month, once every two months for like two years following that sewing camp. And luckily for me, my mom is incredible at sewing. And so she had a sewing machine and she would like help me set up the machine so I could sew. But like, to be honest, I hit a wall with sewing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
because you can only sew simple things like pillows and little pouches and little skirts with like one little elastic band in it. Like you can only sew that type of stuff so much before it's like, okay, I have a lot of pillows and I have a lot of like little skirts and I have a lot of little pouches. Like I can't, I literally cannot add another one of these things to my collection. It's
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
filled with junk that I'm sewing. Like I'm not sewing anything useful, right? Like it became this sort of stupid thing where I was like, okay, I can't justify this anymore. Even as like, I don't know what, an eight or 10 year old. And when it came to like sewing actual garments, like shirts and pants, I was like, I'm obviously not going to sew a pair of pants.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I don't even know where to begin with that. And I wasn't motivated to do it. I didn't even know how to find, like, I didn't know to, you know, go online and buy patterns for making clothes. Like that whole thing. It was like, it was just beyond my capacity as a 10 year old. And so I eventually gave up sewing because I had too many pillows and too many pouches. Oh my God. You know what else I did?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Needle felting. Needle felting was interesting. It was actually quite fun. Needle felting was basically like, imagine like raw wool that's just in like a puffy ball, okay? And imagine if you were to take a needle and poke it over and over and over again. As you poke it, it starts to condense, like the fibers condense
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And you can basically shape the wool, the big wool piece into something dense and smaller and shaped. And it's like making a little figurine. And then you can like take dyed wool and you can needle felt color onto it. You know, like you do the base with like a, just like a basic beige color, like the natural color of the wool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And then you cover whatever your little shape is with colored wool and you needle felt that on. It's very, I don't, know if I'm explaining it well, but you get the idea. I got into that for a minute. I think that was another thing that I copied from my cousins. Like they were doing that. And I was like, well, I want to do that. And then I made my mom go buy me a bunch of wool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And I actually got really into that. And I, I did that for probably over a year. But the problem was it took too long. Like you're just poking this wool over and over and over again for so many hours and it just gets so boring and I just couldn't do it anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And then it's like, if you try to like half pay attention, like let's say you were to like sit on the couch and needle felt and watch TV, you will poke yourself in the hand with the needle. And the needle is no joke. It's like sharp. So yeah, that didn't stick for me. It just, it took too long. It wasn't satisfying. Like I like being able to start and finish an art project.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Ideally within one day. That's ideal for me. And a needle felting project would take like two weeks. I actually never tried knitting because everybody that I knew that knit or crochet or whatever, it would take them so long to make anything. I was like, I don't even want to try. What else? You know, for a little while there, my mom and I were rock climbing and we actually kind of got into it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Like actually my mom wasn't ever rock climbing, but she learned how to do the like ropes from below. Cause like if you do rock climbing, like the rock climbing where you're like going really, well, let me tell you, I was going rock climbing in like a studio and Okay. I was not rock climbing in real life. Let's be clear.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I think you know that, but I'm just clarifying just in case we were rock climbing in a facility where there were these fake rock climbing walls. They were not real. They were not natural. They were high up, but they were not real. Okay. And there were these harnesses with ropes that you were forced to put on if you were going to climb these really, really tall climbing walls. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
It was really hard growing up and watching my dad, somebody who is the king of of hobbies. He is a painter. He's a surfer. He makes music. He's a photographer. He does woodworking and carpentry and like this man is a walking hobby. Okay. That doesn't even make sense, but you get what I'm saying? Like he is the king of hobbies. And I remember feeling so jealous of him.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And I don't remember how I got into it. I think my mom took me a few times because she just thought I would like it. And there were like some instructors there and they did the rope stuff with me. And then I really liked it. And I was like, well, mommy, can you learn how to do it? Like, can you learn how to do the ropes? And she learned.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
So then I could go as much as I wanted with my mom and she could do that for me. And we didn't have to like set it up with like a coach or whatever. Anyway, I really liked that for a little while. But once again, like I just got bored of it. It was never like this huge, there was not a falling out with rock climbing. It wasn't like, oh, I hurt myself and now I don't want to go anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Or like, I found something else that I like better. It was just like, I just woke up one day and I was like, you know what? I don't think I'm ever going to go rock climbing again. And that's just how it is sometimes. Next, I did gymnastics for a little bit. Again, at age like what? Was I eight? Was I 11? Like, I don't really remember. It doesn't really matter. I really liked gymnastics.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
It was really fun. I actually don't know why I quit. I really can't remember. I might have quit because I started to get scared because I was moving to the next level and it scared me. I really don't know why I quit gymnastics. Honestly, I would have to call my mom. And to be honest, it's not that important, but I tried it and I think I was afraid of it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
That's my guess because gymnastics does get scary really quick. One day you're jumping on the trampoline and the next day you're doing a flip around the bars. You know what I mean? a big jump, you know? And I think that might've frightened me. Either that or I didn't like my coach or something. Like, I don't know. Anyway, I quit gymnastics. That didn't last very long, maybe two years. Oh my God.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
This was one of my favorite hobbies. In fact, I might get back into this one day. I really loved this. nail art. Yeah. I became obsessed with nail art in middle school. Obsessed. Okay. So I used to repaint my nails every other day and I would do a full design that I found on Pinterest. It was a whole thing. And there was nail polish all over the living room. This was my lifestyle.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
Let me give you some design examples. Okay, I did cheetah print. People think, oh, cheetah print, beige, browns. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, have you ever heard of hot pink cheetah print? Paint the nails hot pink, do like little black squiggly lines and do like a little white dot in the center of the squiggly line. Suddenly you have cheetah print that is neon pink. Yeah. Yeah.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
One day I did sort of like a little sunset on my nails. So I like painted my nails pink and then used a sponge that I stole from my mom and like sponged on orange and yellow and made the sunset. And then on one nail, I took a tiny little brush. I literally bought the tiny little brushes. Like I was so into this. And I painted like a palm tree, like a black palm tree on my nail.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
So it looked like the outline of a palm tree. Like I was so into it. And I was actually pretty good. I wasn't great. I wasn't great, but I was pretty good. And it became sort of known that I did nails, probably because I was marketing my work. I did have an Instagram account called Emma Chamby Nails, I think. It doesn't exist anymore, so don't get any ideas. You're not going to be able to find it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
And it became known, oh, Emma does nails. So my friends started having me come over after school or after cheer practice or whatever. Cheer, that's a little foreshadowing for the next hobby. But anyway, and I would paint my friends' nails. Like I fully had a clientele. It was absolutely incredible.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the struggle to find a hobby
I think I ultimately gave this one up because you end up hitting a wall when you're a nail artist and you don't have professional training. You get to a point where you're like, this actually doesn't look very good, right? You know, because manicures look really good, not just because of the application of polish.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Happy New Year, everyone. Happy New Year. I know you're probably sick of hearing that by now because we're two weeks into January and the whole novelty of the new year has worn off, but I haven't talked to you yet this year, okay? This is the first episode of Anything Goes of 2025, and I think it'd be impolite if I didn't wish you a happy new year. So with that being said, happy new year.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
geniuses, scientists, like influential people who set trends are really highly visible. I think it's going to become a trend for them to live a more normal life. I think extravagance is going to become a bit cringe. Now, listen, do I think every fucking celebrity is going to downsize their home and get a Toyota instead of having a Bentley wrapped in like metallic wrapping.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
No, but I think that it's going to become a more of a trend than ever. I think being normal and living a more normal life is going to become trendy for influential people, which is then going to make it feel trendy in the world. Because of course, you know, that's kind of how that, how that works. Let me give an example.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Like I imagine a paparazzi photo of like Ed Sheeran and Ed Sheeran bought a Prius. He's a fucking billionaire probably. But I could imagine in 2025, Ed Sheeran getting a new car and it being a Prius. He's like, fuck it. I don't even, I don't, I don't need the Bentley anymore. I'm just going to get a Prius. Or I could imagine like Adele
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
buying a cute little normal two bedroom cozy house in Colorado and taking a photo in it. And it's like, it just looks like a normal house. It looks like the house we all grew up in or majority of us. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. I see it. I see it happening. And I don't know if it's going to happen.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I actually quite like it because I don't think that there's anything wrong with extravagance. if you have the money and you want to do like, who am I to fucking judge? I don't. And there's a lot, there's things in my life that I've done that are considered potentially extravagant. Like I'm not fully against it. Right. Um, I get it. You only live once.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And if you worked hard and made money or your family worked hard and made money and now you want to live sort of extravagantly, it's just none of my fucking business. Right. I don't want to get involved in how somebody else spends their money. Okay. I mind my own business. However, I do think that it's not necessarily necessary.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And I don't think there's anything wrong with maybe downsizing or realizing, you know what, I would rather spend my money in other ways. Like, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And I could see that being a trend. And I could also see extravagance becoming sort of cringe. Big houses, big fancy cars that are custom. I actually could see that becoming cringe in 2025. Okay, next.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Physical games are in 2025. Physical games. I'm talking about board games. I'm talking about pool games. playing pool, ping pong, bowling, Frisbee. I don't know. Physical games. I think it's in. I think game nights are going to be in in 2025. Like, I think you can expect to get an invite to a game night.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I just trusted my gut and my intuition and my judgment based on what I've been observing over the last few years and This is just really what I see and feel coming. But we'll see. We'll see. Hey, you know what? I could get every single thing wrong. And I'm okay with that. I'm prepared.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And the reason why I feel this way is because, number one, again, there's just so many articles about how lonely Gen Z is. But number two, I think physical games are ultimately timeless. I mean, there's always people who are playing board games. There's always people who are playing cards. There are always people who are playing pool at the bar.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
You know, it's not like these things are ever fully out, but I think they're going to have a resurgence and have like a big moment in 2025. I think people are going to rediscover games. Oh, also because I forgot, I keep seeing articles about how Gen Z is drinking less alcohol than other generations. And being somebody who... recently stopped drinking alcohol.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I haven't had a drink since, I don't know, October because I think I'm allergic to alcohol, which is not confirmed. And I should go to the doctor and get it tested because I might be just being sober for no reason. Although I'm really liking not drinking alcohol. So I actually just might not even test it and just assume that it's true and just continue not drinking.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
But, you know, on a Friday night, it's kind of boring sometimes. And so you have to figure out what to do with Your free time. And I've been playing a lot of games. I've been going bowling recently. I've been playing a lot of pool recently, playing a lot of board games recently. Like, I don't know. And I'm loving it. I'm loving it now even more so than I'm sober. So I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think the combination of Gen Z being sober more than ever and lonelier than ever, I just could see a resurgence of game night, physical games where people are together. And this might be too good to be true. We might all just... get even more sucked into TikTok in 2025. But I want to dream and manifest that we all get back into physical games in 2025. I've been loving it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
You know, give it a try. Plan a game night with your friends. All right, next. Work-life balance. I know it sounds too good to be true, but let me explain. For the past few years, what's been trendy is grinding. Grinding. Grinding. Okay? Working your ass off. Grind culture. Grind set. Waking up at 5 a.m. Doing...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Uh, an ice bath, then getting in the sauna, then working for eight hours, then eating egg whites and rice, and then going and lifting weights and then grinding more and then working more and then grinding and then reading 90 pages of a nonfiction book and then reciting your favorite philosophers quote. From 1902 and then going to bed at 7 p.m., grinding. I think it's over.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think the grind set era is over. And can I be honest? Thank God it was so toxic. There's always going to be people who want to grind, who want to overachieve. But I think its cultural relevance will die down. I really do. And I think what's going to become trendy is having work-life balance. I think that's going to be the flex.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
moving forward, being like, yeah, I have this job that I like, I guess, but I also have all these hobbies. Look at all these hobbies I have. I just feel like in 2025, people are going to be more focused on quality of life instead of status and success. Obviously, like there are times in your life and career where you have to grind, whether it's
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I briefly paused this episode of Anything Goes to let you know that this episode of Anything Goes is presented by Amazon. Getting sick is horrible enough. The getting better part shouldn't be horrible too. Waiting on hold for an appointment, sitting in crowded waiting rooms, standing in line at the pharmacy, that's almost as bad as the sickness itself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
for survival or it's because you have a goal that you really want to accomplish. That's different. Okay. That's, that's different. I'm talking about the culture being obsessed with grinding, right? Like that I think is out. And I think the culture being obsessed with work life balance is in. All right, next.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think this was already sort of in last year, and this is already sort of in all the time because it's something that we kind of have to do for survival. But cooking from scratch in gardening and just food, being connected to food and... I think last year there were, there was quite a few viral women who were cooking and people were just obsessed. Myself included.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I loved watching the videos of them cooking. It was mainly the viral, viral, viral cooking videos of 2024 were amazing. I would say Ballerina Farms and Nara Smith, of course. They were moms showing themselves cooking for their families, right? Or for themselves. And it just went so viral. And it was controversial, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
But let's... I don't want to discuss the controversial side of things because I still think that that was very influential, regardless of it being... like it inspired me. It made me want to cook. I was like, this looks so peaceful and the food looks so delicious. Like my human, like Neanderthal brain was like, that looks fun. That looks good. And that looks satisfying.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Like I want to cook like them. Not, I'm not a mom. I'm not like trying to cook for my kids. I'm not trying to cook for my husband. I'm not married. It was literally just a human reaction to being like, huh, that looks really appealing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
and and wholesome and I don't know I just I think gardening and cooking is going to be in this year and I think the sort of aesthetic of it is going to be in this year I don't know we'll see I actually really want to cook this year I love love cooking I like love cooking videos and I actually enjoy cooking but I just don't do it very often because it's a lot of work
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
But this year I really want to cook. And I cooked actually something from scratch last night and it went really well. And I kind of want to start like tending to my garden. I have a little garden in my backyard that I ignore and it's just overgrown and looks horrible, but maybe I'm going to fix it up. I don't know. We'll see. Kind of jumping off of that, gluten and dairy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
For so many years, we've all been afraid of gluten and dairy, even if we don't have lactose intolerance or celiac disease that allow us to literally not be able to eat gluten and dairy. There's been this sort of negative feeling around gluten and dairy and To some extent, for good reason.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think gluten and dairy, being somebody who has a sensitive stomach, can be hard to digest for some of us, even if we don't have lactose intolerance or celiac that makes it literally impossible for our body to digest it. I have IBS, irritable bowel syndrome, which a lot of people apparently have because I hear people talking about it a lot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And yeah, like if you have IBS, gluten and dairy doesn't always agree with you. But I feel like the really negative feelings around gluten and dairy are gonna dissipate. It's like how a few years ago, or maybe it was like 20, 30 years ago, There was sort of a campaign around the food group fat. Butter, oil, whole milk, full fat yogurt, you know, fat. People were really afraid of eating fat.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Amazon One Medical and Amazon Pharmacy remove these painful parts of getting better with things like 24-7 virtual visits and prescriptions delivered to your door. Thanks to Amazon One Medical and Amazon Pharmacy for sponsoring today's episode. Now let's get back to the episode. So without further ado, let's begin with what I think is going to be in, in 2025. What I think is going to be hot.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
foods that had a high fat content. And so they were avoiding it. And a lot of brands started doing low fat stuff. And then later, it came out, oh, wait, that might not have been true. And we were all avoiding fat, perhaps for the wrong reasons. And fat is not a perfect food group, but also it's not as bad as we thought.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And I think that's going to end up happening perhaps with gluten and dairy, maybe not. I'm not a fucking scientist, so don't ask me. But I could see the overall perception of gluten and dairy becoming more positive in 2025, especially as perhaps cooking and gardening becomes trendy. People are looking at food in a different way, in a more romantic way.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And food groups like gluten and dairy maybe seem a bit more romantic again. As long as you don't have lactose intolerance or celiac. And kind of, again, jumping off of cooking and gardening and stuff, I think making things yourself, right?
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Like if you're somebody who likes to drink a lot of sparkling water, I think it's in to buy like a SodaStream or like a DrinkMate or one of those water carbonators, right? that carbonates your water for you. I think that's in.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Or if you drink nut milk, you're an almond milk person, you're a coconut milk person, you're a cashew milk person, buying a nut milk machine, okay, so that you can make your own. If you love sourdough bread, I mean, I know sourdough bread, making sourdough bread was really... popular a few years ago, but making sourdough bread, I think making your own is going to be in, in 2025. I don't know.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
We'll see. I think for two reasons, number one, because it's convenient. You can have those things whenever you want. You're not relying on going to the store, which is really nice for things that you use routinely because it's very stressful to run out. But also I think, I don't know. I just think it's like smarter and more efficient. And I think people are going to really lean into that in 2025.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Next, hot yoga is in. Hot yoga. It's the new Pilates. Mark my words. I don't know why. Well, I actually really like hot yoga right now. So maybe I'm biased. But I just feel it coming. Like 2024 was all about Pilates. And I don't think Pilates is going to be out by any means in 2025. But I think hot yoga is going to come up and potentially bump Pilates out of its spot.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
When I say Pilates, I'm talking about like reformer Pilates. It was so trendy in 2024. And I just, I don't know. I think it's going to be out a little bit. It's not going to ever be out. Like it's not like all the reformer Pilates studios need to shut down. Okay. I'm not saying that, but I'm saying I think all the trendy people are going to be going to hot yoga instead this year.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And listen, I love hot yoga. That's kind of what inspired this prediction. I was like, I kind of discovered hot yoga and I was like, holy shit, this is the vibe. I think people are going to be into this soon. Next, local travel is in this year. For so many years, it was all about going on an international trip. That was the desirable trip to go on.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
You live in the United States, the dream is to have a European summer. You live in Europe, the dream is to go explore Tokyo. I don't know. I feel like The culture has really been obsessed with like international travel, seeing the world, this, this, and that. And I think it's going to become sort of a trend to travel more locally. Okay. If you live in California, explore California.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
What I think is going to be happening in 2025. Starting with shopping in person and shopping at the mall. Yeah. Yep. Online shopping has been all the rage the past few years, and understandably so, right? Online shopping is incredible and better than shopping in person in many ways. Number one, you can find absolutely anything. Absolutely anything.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
If you live on the West coast, explore just the West coast. If you live in Europe, explore Europe. You don't need to go to New York city or go to Tokyo or whatever. Like, do you see what I'm saying? I just feel like people are going to travel locally. Do road trips, go camping, like do stuff that's a bit more local, a bit less extreme. And I think that's going to become a trend.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And I think for good reason, because we really take for granted what's around us. And we're always like, oh, we want to go somewhere completely different. But there's something actually really enjoyable about traveling locally. And locally meaning like within a few, I don't know, what, thousand miles? I don't know. maybe hundreds of miles. I don't know, but you get what I mean.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Local travel, I think it's in. I think international travel, obviously there's always going to be the travel vloggers and bloggers who are like randomly in Bali and then randomly in the Andes and then randomly in India and then randomly in New York and then back to Copenhagen. And it's just like crazy. But I just think for the most part,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
By the way, I'm literally like talking about myself because there's been phases of my life and career where I've just been traveling a lot for some reason. And that's been a lot of my output, my content. I'm not I think that phase of my life is over. I'm kind of excited to be more local recently. Like I'm feeling a craving for that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And also, I think, I don't know, I think the world is kind of craving that too. Like, wait, what's around us? What's easy? Anyway, and last but not least, what I think is going to be in is YouTube. The cultural... The platform for pop culture has been TikTok for the most part for the last few years. And I think it's going to shift a bit more back to YouTube. YouTube's always in.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
But I think YouTube is gonna regain its power. I think becoming a YouTuber is gonna be cool in a whole new way in 2025. I think, I don't know, I just think YouTube is gonna be magical this year, which is exciting. And I love YouTube. And I don't know, I have this gut feeling that YouTube's gonna have energy in 2025. And it always has energy. It's always a great platform.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
It's my favorite platform, even though I have a complicated relationship with it. I do think it's the most timeless platform, to be honest. And I think it's going to regain its power this year. And I can't wait. Now let's discuss what's out in 2025. Number one, vape is out. Now, in some ways, this is a good thing because I think, of course, vaping is bad and unhealthy.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
But I think it's out perhaps because other things that are maybe even worse are in. Like, I see so many kids smoking cigarettes. I'm like, you guys, come on. What are we doing? What are we doing? I don't know. Like the whole sort of like grunge indie sleaze is sort of in, which means smoking cigarettes is in. That means the vape is out, but cigarettes are in, which is bad.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
But I also think too, a lot of people are going to try to quit nicotine this year. I really, I really hope so. So overall, the vape is out, which is a good thing and a bad thing. I just think the vape is going to become cringe. I mean, it already sort of is. When we look at a box vape, like the big sort of 2010 vape, right? That's cringe now, right?
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think the little vapes of today are going to be cringe soon. And people are going to be embarrassed to be seen with them, which will either cause them to quit completely, which is ideal, or... start smoking cigarettes, which is not good and no one should do that. Let's not do that. It's crazy that cigarettes are cool again.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I honestly, I would have said that it's in for 2025, but I can't even manifest that. Like it really, I don't want it to be in. I think it's, really bad. And the fact that it's trendy to post on Instagram with a cigarette is so fucking stupid to me. I'm sorry. It's just stupid.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
If you want to find a pair of socks that have toe holes... so that your toes stick out the front and the heel is padded and it comes up three inches on your leg and they're blue. You could find it. Whereas you show up to the mall trying to find something niche like that, good luck, obviously. The options are endless online.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Listen, I get that it looks cool, but even if I was a chain smoker, I would never post myself online smoking a cigarette because I would never want to inspire anyone else to do it. I don't know. That's my opinion. Sorry. Okay. Whoa. Oh my God. The second thing that I think is out is actually crazy and I'm going to get probably canceled for this or something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Well, I don't know if I'm going to get canceled. I don't know what's going to happen, but it's a crazy thing to say. Famous people. Celebrity culture. I think it's out. Now, I know you're thinking, Emma, you're a public figure, babe. You're a public figure. I know, but I don't care. If celebrity culture, public figures are out, what am I going to do? I don't give a fuck. It's all right.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I'll still be here, but on the internet, you know? But... I don't know. Like, I just think that celebrity worship is out. I think people are starting to realize, OMG, celebrities are not perfect. I mean, people have been realizing this for years, but celebrities are... kind of bad vibes. Like, I think a lot of people think celebrities are bad vibes. And I think that's sometimes true.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think it's sometimes not true, but it's definitely sometimes true. It's often true. Understandably so, because power corrupts and celebrities have a lot of power. I mean, it makes sense, right? I just think people hate famous people right now. And I'm actually going to make an entire episode about this, so I'm not going to go too far into detail here.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Stay tuned for an entire dedicated episode to why I think everyone hates celebrities and public figures. By the way, including me. Like, I think everybody... resents famous people right now. Also because famous people have a tendency to be out of touch. Like there's endless, I'm not going to go too far into it because I want to make an entire episode about it.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
But I think celebrity worship, celebrity culture, I think it's out in 2025. I think, I don't know what's going to replace it. I mean, I think celebrities will always have a role in society for better or for worse. I think it's inevitable, but I think Honestly, 2025 is more about hating celebrities and less about like worshiping or being a fan of them.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And listen, I'm not fucking looking forward to it. Guess who does not benefit from that? Me as a public figure. Okay. I'm not like a big celebrity, but I'm a public figure enough where that does not, that's not ideal for me, but I see that coming. Moving on. Hookup culture out. I think people want to settle down with a bae.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think everybody has experimented over the last few years with hookup culture and has ended up disappointed, unfulfilled, and bummed out by it. I think because naturally... If you're, okay, I'm not fully against hookup culture all the way. I mean, again, it's like totally up to you and what your vibe is and what works for you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I do think that there are definitely some shortcomings and I think almost similar to like online shopping, okay? It seemed too good to be true. I can buy whatever I want whenever I want. Online shopping is awesome. But then you realize the slower and steadier way of shopping in person might actually be better. There's actually a lot of benefits to it. It's the same thing with hookup culture.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
The idea was how liberating I can get with whoever I want and I get to have a little bit of everything, right? Like I get to hook up with whoever I want. I don't have to be with just one person. I can... hook up with somebody who's outgoing and then I can hook up with somebody who's shy and then I can hook up with whoever, you know? And like, that's so fun, right? But there are shortcomings.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
There's a lack of depth. There's at times a lack of chemistry, I imagine, because it's a new person all the time. You can feel sort of icky about it. I'm somebody who feels icky when I hook up with people. It just like doesn't work for me. So I don't know. I think hookup culture is out and I think commitment is coming back in. you know, finding one partner.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Also, there's something so fun about sitting in bed or even like sitting in the lobby of your doctor's office shopping. You know, you can shop anywhere, comfort of your own home, killing time, waiting for a doctor's appointment. You get the idea. It makes sense that shopping online has been all the rage the past few years. It's in a lot of ways better.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Well, yeah, yeah, I could see that coming back in. We'll see. But I don't know. Okay, next. Sending people TikToks, reels, memes on text and DM. It's out. You know what the truth is? Nine out of 10 times, when we get sent a meme or sent like a reel or something, are we really watching that? Not always. Not always. I don't know. I just think it's out.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think unless it's like an emergency and somebody has to see this meme right now because it's so spot on. It's so on the nose. Somebody has to see this funny TikTok right now because it's so spot on. It's so on the nose. I think that's out. I think it's out to be sending people shit that you find on the internet.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Most of the time people don't care and they're not like your friends, your loved ones. They don't care for the most part. They don't, they're not clicking on it. My mom is going to be so offended by this. She sends me TikToks and reels and memes literally every day. And I click on not every single one of them. I click on as many as I have time for, but I don't have all day. Okay.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
But also when I send people stuff, they often don't respond to it. Do you know what I'm saying? So I don't know. I just think that that's out. Next. Well, this is another thing that I think I'm going to probably get canceled for saying, or not even canceled, but like, in trouble, I don't know. Don't get mad at me. This is just what I predict. Filler is out.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Like filler, like going to a plastic surgeon and getting filler, right? Or going to a cosmetologist, getting filler. I don't think Botox is out. I do not. Because Botox, you inject it and it makes it so that your face, like certain muscles don't work so that you don't get wrinkles, right? That's how Botox works. I don't think that that's out.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think Botox is in still because it's been in for many years, but I don't think it's out yet. Filler, on the other hand, filler is out. What filler is, is like, I don't know, like goop that you inject into your face or anywhere to make certain areas look more full, right? That is out, okay? Filler is out.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
A lot of people became addicted to filler and started to get a sort of dysmorphia where they couldn't tell how much filler they had. And apparently, I've seen some plastic surgeons and stuff talk about filler and how it actually doesn't fully go away, right? You inject this filler into your face and... a lot of it actually stays in there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
In honor of the year ahead of us, today I'm going to be sharing what I think is going to be in this year and what I think is going to be out this year. I have worked on this list for the past month. To be honest, it's tortured me, this list, of what I think is going to be in and out. I'm overwhelmed by the possibilities.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
So if you keep it, like it doesn't dissolve or it doesn't get metabolized by your body. I've seen a lot of stuff about this just because it's fascinating to me. And it's so prevalent, especially in Los Angeles. So I just can't help but, you know, listen to the conversations about it. And so you end up looking puffy when you get filler for a long period of time.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And I just, I think that people are starting to realize, wait, filler maybe looks good like the first year that you get it, but then it starts to look built up and puffy and bad. And it's super obvious that you're getting filler. It doesn't look subtle. It doesn't look natural. I just think filler is out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I mean, actually it's funny because I think it was sort of a trend to look overfilled as some would say, like to have lips that are,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
exploding with filler to have super like prominent cheekbones and jawline filled with filler like that was actually sort of a trend for a little while I think that's fully out in natural it like as it should be you know what I mean it looked super unnatural it can't be healthy for you uh and it doesn't age well right like as time passes it doesn't look good um so I think filler is out
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Next, complicated skincare tools, facial steamer, microcurrent tool, red light mask. This stuff was so trendy in 2024. Everybody's showing their 40 step skincare routine and they have every single little gadget. Like this has been in for the last few years. I think it's out. And the reason why I think it's out is because I personally have used a lot of these tools. I've used the red light mask.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
But I think, as with all things, online shopping is not perfect. And its shortcomings are starting to show themselves as we've all been shopping online for the past few years. And I think shopping in person is starting to seem appealing again. To a lot of people, I think. Number one, I think we all have underestimated over the last few years how important it is to try something on.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I've used the microcurrent tool. I've used the facial steamer. I've used the gua sha. I've used all these things. And here's the truth of the matter, okay? The truth of the matter is... A lot of them actually do work, right? Like you see benefits from them. It's not like they're complete snake oil, right? They actually do work.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
However, the amount of time that it takes to consistently use these things in your routine it's unsustainable. It takes so much time to outkeep these things. I was obsessed with the microcurrent tool, which is basically this like tool that sends like shocks or something into your face and it makes your face look more snatched, if you will. Okay. Like it, it helps with facial puffiness.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
It helps with, you know, the tightness of your face. And I actually saw a difference. Although if you were to ask every single straight man in my life, if they see a difference, they would say absolutely not. Like I would like, I asked my dad, I was like, do I look more snatched? She's like, I'm so sorry. You look exactly the same. So yeah. I just think it doesn't work enough.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
A lot of these things don't work enough to make them worth spending 30 minutes to maybe even an hour integrating these things into your routine on a weekly basis. I don't think it's... They're not impactful enough to upkeep. And so I think that a lot of these things are going to be out this year.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think, listen, if you absolutely love your red light mask and you really see a difference, maybe you keep just the red light mask. But like using all these tools all the time, it's just out. It's out. Next, taking photos of absolutely everything that happens all the time. Having social media brain is out.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
For so many years, I had social media brain where like I was always thinking about what I could take a photo of so that I could post it. What I could, I don't know, like, oh, that looks aesthetic. Like I'm going to take a photo of that for Instagram. Oh my God, I'm at a concert. I'm going to take a video. Oh, I'm not, you know, I had that brain for many years. And I grew out of it.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And I think that there's going to be a collective growing out of it, to be honest. I think, again, we were in a honeymoon phase with the internet for so long. And I think now it's like, wait a minute, I need to have some stuff for myself again. I don't need to post every single thing that happens to me throughout the day. And I think this is going to be
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
really true for people who just run their own personal social media account for their friends and family to look at. But it's also going to be true for influencers and celebrities who have spent the last few years posting every single thing that they do all the time.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think it's going to become a trend even for influencers and celebrities to be like, I'm actually not going to post every single thing that I'm doing all the time. I'm not going to take a photo of every single thing that I'm doing all the time. I don't know. I just, I think it's an unsustainable lifestyle to constantly be taking photos and videos of everything.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Like I documented everything when I was a teenager, everything. And I've sort of set myself free from that pressure to document everything. And it's so freeing that I just have a feeling that it's going to catch on. And a lot of people are going to be like, you know what? I'm just going to live in the moment a little bit more.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Taking photos of absolutely everything that happens all the time is out. Next, self-diagnosing on the internet. Oh my God. 2023 and 2024, I saw so many people on the internet being like, if you have this, this, this, this, and this, you have ADHD. If you do this sometimes, you're bipolar. Like literally random people...
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Online, like listing different, you know, personality traits and then saying that if you have these traits, you have this, you know, neurodivergence, if you will, or saying like, oh, if you have like a pain in your left arm, that means you're going to have a heart attack. It's like self-diagnosing on the Internet.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
especially through social media influencers who have no idea what the fuck they're talking about okay that is out in 2025 we are not tolerating that we're not double tapping those posts we're not feeding them in the algorithm those are out they're toxic they're not based in any fact or truth you know what they might be right but it doesn't even matter if you think something's wrong with you you go to a doctor you talk to somebody who knows what they're fucking talking about
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I can't tell you how many times I've ordered something online and it's been... imperfect. The fabric is itchy. The fit isn't quite right. Blah, blah, blah, blah. And I've kept it and been like, oh, I'll get it tailored or oh, I'll just get over it because I was too lazy to return it.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
You even talk to a family member who has the same genetics as you and could potentially have experienced a similar sort of abnormality that you're experiencing just for the love of God. Like we're not diagnosing through TikTok and Instagram anymore. I really fucking hate it. I absolutely hate it. And I think it's so toxic. And I don't know. I just, I think it's not net positive.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And I think talking about, you know, your experience with... A health issue of any sort I think is helpful on the internet because it makes people feel less alone who are dealing with the same thing. But that's different, right? That's being vulnerable and sharing your experience. That's always going to be helpful. There's always going to be somebody out there who could benefit from that.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
But trying to diagnose people for the sake of likes and to take advantage of people's fears and anxieties around health, so fucked up to me. For the sake of likes, uh-uh. That needs to be out for all of our well-being, okay? Next, shopping addiction. It's out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Shopping addiction, overconsumption, buying everything in sight that you like, going on Timu and buying a bunch of shit, going on Amazon and buying a bunch of shit that you don't need. All of this is out. Shopping addiction is out. And it's tough. It's tough. It takes a level of discipline.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
But I think it's actually going to be a good thing because I think everybody in unison is going to be like, wait, yeah, this lifestyle of overconsuming and buying so much shit all the time is not fulfilling and is just surrounding me with junk and is causing me to just waste a bunch of stuff, which makes me feel bad. This doesn't make any sense. I'm not doing it anymore. And it's a waste of money.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I just think it's out. And I've heard a lot, I've heard some discourse on the internet around like, you know, under consumption core being in minimalism being in is a bad thing because everyone's just going to get rid of all their shit just to then buy everything back when maximalism comes back into style. Yeah. I actually disagree. Okay. Hear me out. I disagree.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Do I think, okay, there are certain people who are trend followers in a way that's like, you know, that is their hobby. That is what they love to do. And so like that will happen with them. Right. But I actually think
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Shopping in person, you try something on and you find out if it's perfect or not immediately and you just put it back and it's easy. I know that these are all obvious things, but I don't know. I absolutely underestimated the importance of trying on clothes the last few years.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
For Gen Z specifically, I think we grew up and started making money for the first time in a maximalist time where it was all about having as much stuff as possible, having everything. everything being aesthetic, everything being beautiful, having everything, right? Having a closet full of clothes, having a pantry organized perfectly, all these things with lots of food. It was all about abundance.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
We grew up in a time of abundance. And I think now we're kind of snapping out of it and being like, ooh, this might not be the vibe. And I think we might overcorrect to an extent and maybe be a little bit too minimalist, a But I think a lot of Gen Z is going to learn from going from being a maximalist to being sort of a minimalist and that being the trend cycle.
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in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And I think Gen Z specifically will never consume as excessively again, or at least it will never be as bad as it once was. That's my opinion, okay? I could be totally wrong and naive and whatever, but I think that a lot of young people especially are going to learn from this phase of...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
buying less being more of a smart shopper and it being actually trendy to do so I think a lot of people are going to learn from that and realize wait that's a way better way to live life I'm saving money I appreciate every item that I have and it's forcing me to like find hobbies in other areas that are more fulfilling and more sustainable from a like lifestyle perspective like I can actually continue this hobby for years to come and not feel guilty about it and not feel wasteful and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
actually something positive will come out of it. So I don't know. I think shopping being out, under consumption being in, I mean, nothing's ever perfect, but I think good things will come out of it. That's my opinion. Next, flexing in any capacity is out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I sort of touched on this earlier, but like having a big house, flexing it, being on a private jet, flexing it, having a custom Bentley that's wrapped with metallic wrap out cringe. I think... like extravagance, luxury, wealth, flexing, all this. I think it's out. I really do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Again, I think there's always going to be certain celebrities and rich individuals who will participate in these things, who will buy these things, experience these things, will even show off these things. But I think it's not going to be cool. I think it's not going to be aspirational. I think it's not going to be cool. I think it's
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
gonna look shallow empty cringe even yeah like empty like I think people are gonna look at you know rich people driving in their like car that has the little sparkly lights on the top and they're gonna be like that is so empty and like lacking personality and intrigue Yeah, like I see that being out. I don't know. Just like flexing wealth is out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think being humble is going to be in and like being more nuanced with, well, I guess that's kind of already in because of like quiet luxury. Like flexing has already sort of been out for a while now in quiet luxury, wearing things that are subtly branded. You can't really tell what brand it is, but it's expensive.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And recently, as I've been focusing on shopping in person more because it makes me a more conscious buyer, which is good for me because I am recovering from a shopping addiction. I've realized, wait, this is the move. This is, we should all be doing this. And I have a feeling that I'm not alone in this discovery. I think everybody's going to be discovering the power of shopping in person in 2025.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Like that was sort of a trend last year, but I think it's going to extend to lifestyle as well beyond fashion. Next country music is out. Country music had a huge moment last year. Maybe it was even the year before too, but I think country is out. Listen, I will always love Casey Musgraves when Casey Musgraves comes on country. Some of country is timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And so I don't want to disrespect the genre completely, even though it's, it's actually not my least favorite genre. I used to say country music was my least favorite genre. I know what my least favorite genre is. It's like electronic music. No. Cause I like, I actually fuck with like certain like club music, like electronic club music, like Charlie, like brat, you know, like I love that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And that's sort of electronic, but like EDM, like rave music. That's like, well, that can be fun though. Like Skrillex vibes. I think that might be my least favorite, but there's still some of it. That's good. Anyway, country music's not my least favorite. Contrary to what I've said many, many times. Um,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
But I think country music is out, meaning that it's not trendy to make a country album anymore. It was trendy to make a country album last year and the year prior. Or maybe just last year. But yeah, it was trendy. It's out. Nobody's making country albums anymore. You know what I think is in? I think people are going to be making, trying to make like alternative indie albums.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think that's going to be in. You know, Radiohead vibes, like Arctic Monkeys vibes, like... Yeah, but you get what I mean. I think alternative, like, I don't know. I could just see alternative albums becoming the vibe. Okay, next. Wearing AirPod Maxes and trendy headphones while walking down the street as a fashion statement. This is out, number one, for safety reasons. I'm so sorry.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
It is unsafe. Like, I don't care what anyone says. I'm not trying to be a fucking Karen and be like, take your headphones out. Take your headphones out. You're going to get hit by a car and get robbed and get pickpocketed. But it's low key true. When I'm walking down the street, I don't care if I'm in the safest fucking neighborhood. I don't care if I'm in a gated community. Shit happens.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I need to be agile. I need to have my ears out. Okay. One time I was wearing my AirPods while I was walking through the street and I got myself into a really sketchy situation. I was in San Francisco, which is going through a little rough patch, but I'll actually tell the story real quick. I was walking to go get a coffee in San Francisco.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I was staying in a hotel, even though I live pretty close to San Francisco, but I was staying in a hotel for fun. And I went on a walk alone to go get a coffee. Actually, I was getting a matcha. Excuse me, to go get a matcha. And I had my little headphones in. And on the way there, I was like, ooh, I am kind of staying in an area that is a little... crime ridden, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
It's a little edgier here, but I was like, it's all right. So walked and got my matcha. It was like probably a 20 minute walk. And then on the way back, I took a different way back and I had my headphones in, so I couldn't really hear anything. And I look up and I realize, oh no, I am not safe here. There was a lot of stuff going on that was not safe. A lot of drug use. Like, I can't explain this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Imagine this. I'm at a four-way, like, intersection, right? And every street that I look down, I look behind me, I look to my left, my right, I look straight ahead. Every single way, something dangerous is happening. There's, you know, people doing drugs out in the open. There's like people like beating the fuck out of each other. I'm not kidding.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Like fighting, like physically fighting each other, screaming at each other, yelling, fighting, punching the shit out of each other. Multiple people in full fist fights. Okay. People like, I don't know, like it was really, it was not a great situation. Okay. Listen, I'm not judging the people. I'm not judging, whatever. Okay. But all I'm saying is I did not feel safe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
not only does it prevent imperfect buys because you're able to try stuff on and touch the fabric, but it's also an outing. It's something to do. And I've seen so many articles over the last few months, maybe even years, about how lonely the younger generations are. And I think a third space like the mall is perfect for socializing and hanging out and being around people. So I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And I don't think you would have either. And I actually had to get escorted out of the area by the community. There was like community police in the area. And then there was also a kid who lived in the area who goes to college in the area. And he also walked me out. Everybody had to walk. They were like, you should not be here right now. Get the fuck out of here.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And I was like, oh, I was like, I grew up near San Francisco. I didn't know. I thought I was fine. I thought everything was fine. You know why that fucking happened though? Because I had my little AirPods in and I couldn't hear and I wasn't paying attention to what was around me. And I got myself into a sketchy situation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And as a young woman who doesn't even have pepper spray on me, which is bad, I actually should start carrying pepper spray and I will starting today. So don't fuck with me. But at the time I had none of the such. So I was very vulnerable and I would not have gotten myself into that situation had I not been wearing my little AirPods.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
So for safety reasons, take the fucking headphones off, okay, when you're walking around the street in a big city or whatever. It's sketchy and it's stupid. But even if you're in a small town, if you're walking on a sidewalk, if somebody's driving crazy, driving drunk perhaps, and they start driving on the sidewalk, it sounds irrational and crazy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
But to me, you just always want to be agile when you're on a walk. That's my opinion. But I also think it's just kind of lost its allure, right? Like the hotness of wearing, you know, headphones while walking around, I think is out. Like as a fashion statement, it's out. Next, Instagram photos that are clearly very planned and posed, I think are out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think ironically enough, we're still going to be posing for Instagram, but I think it's going to be more casual. It's not going to be like making a fucking like model face and like mewing and like I think that's fully out in 2025. I think no one's going to be posing for Instagram.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think the method of taking the Instagram photo now is going to be like you hand your phone to your friend and you're walking down the street and you're like, just take photos of me while I'm walking down the street. It's still posed, but I think... the idea of the posed Instagram photo is out because we all now know what the process is of taking that type of photo.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
So I think it's kind of cringe now. Like now when we take a photo like that, we're like, oh my God, I know everybody knows exactly what I'm doing when I'm taking this photo. And then on the other hand, when you're on Instagram scrolling, you see a photo of somebody super posed and you're like, oh my God, I know how much work went into that photo.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Like the illusion of perfection from a super posed photo has kind of gone stale because we all do it now. I don't know. We're almost done. Wow. This is the longest episode of my life. Crumble cookie. It's just out. Like it was already kind of on the way out. Like the public perception of the crumble cookie was already starting to go out. But I think 2025 it's fully out like crumble cookie.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
They're not going to shut down all their stores. But they're going to end up having to shut down some of them. And I don't know, they'll become sort of like a Mrs. Fields sort of cookie. You know, it's like it's at the mall. We get them every once in a while. But it's not like all over the internet, viral every single week. I think that is over.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Even though I loved watching the crumble cookie reviews. Wow. And like when people would do it ASMR and you could hear them chewing on it, to be honest, every time that'd come up on my YouTube shorts feed, I was like, I'll watch. I'll absolutely watch. Okay. Next therapy speak is out. Like taking what your therapist told you to say to somebody verbatim and then saying it to them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Like if you're going through a friend breakup and you're like, I can no longer hold space for you. Like saying shit like that or like abusing the word gaslighting, just therapy speak. I think it's fully out. I think it's totally cringe now. I think it's been ruined. I think it's been abused. I think it's been overused and abused. And so now it's just cringe and it doesn't hold any weight anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Which is kind of a bummer because I do think that certain therapy speak terms and stuff are actually useful and whatever. But I think it's out because it became sort of trendy to speak in that way. And I think it's out. And I think it was already on its way out. But I think it's like going to be not heard at all in 2025. It's like completely gone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And I think speaking in a more, I think speaking bluntly is going to be in. Like I think just saying it how it fucking is, is in. not walking on eggshells at all, just speaking the truth. And I think that's going to be present in a lot of areas. Like I think celebrities in interviews are going to be less media trained. They're just going to say whatever the fuck they want.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I just see shopping in person coming back into style, especially the mall. I don't know, I, over the holidays, shopped at some malls, some modern malls that have stores that people like, that have beautiful modern design that doesn't feel super early 2000s. And I was like, you know what? The mall is not dead. I thought the mall was dead because so many malls feel outdated.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think when people are giving advice on how to confront, I think instead of being like, say it politely and like this, it's going to be like, you know, don't say anything out of pocket, but like, Say how you truly feel. Like, I don't know. I just feel like there's been a lot of filtering of ourselves over the past few years. Everybody's been really careful. And I think to an extent that's good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think, you know, we should be careful and thoughtful about our words, but I think it kind of went to an extreme measure. And I think there's going to be a bit more bluntness in our collective tone as a society in 2025. Next, humanizing brands as marketing. Like when brands, like, okay, like when I love when this happens, but I think it's out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Like if Burger King, Burger King's Twitter account starts subtweeting McDonald's account and they get into like an online beef and it's like funny and we're humanizing Burger King because we feel like their Twitter account is a person who has a personality. Do you see what I'm saying? Or like humanizing brands, brands humanizing themselves to market themselves.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think it's out because I think too many brands did it. And I think now the novelty has completely worn off and it's just, yeah, it's just stale now, which is a bummer because I actually quite like it. And I think it's funny, but I think it's just going to seem forced moving forward because it's been done so much because it worked so well because it was so smart and so funny and so intriguing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
But I think it's out. Next, having a good side. You know, like when you're taking a photo, being like, oh, wait, let me go to my good side. That's out. That's so out. Listen, I have a good side. I prefer to take photos on one side of my face. But it's such a, I don't know, I think self-acceptance is in and I think vanity is out. And we've had a really vain last couple of years as a society.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And so I think people are going to just start to let go. Like, fuck it. You know what? That's the left side of my face. That's the right side of my face. It is what it is. And I'm just going to not inconvenience people and say, oh, I need to be on this side of the photo because my bad side. I think that's out. I've been guilty of this. Okay. So I'm guilty. If you're guilty of this, all good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
By the way, if you still can't handle your bad side being photographed. I'm not judging you, but I'm just saying I do think that that's going to be out. Next, DJing is out. Becoming a DJ, DJing being like the hot thing to do. I just think DJing is out. It's funny, too. Like, I don't know. I know nothing about DJing at all. I have no, like, knowledge about what it means to be a DJ.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I don't know anything about it. So I don't even know if all of these new DJs popping up are, like, any good or anything. Probably not. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what a good DJ even is. I just... I know nothing about DJing, but... Listen, there's always going to be DJs and we need DJs because like who's going to DJ the party music? Like I get it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
But it was such a trend to become a DJ for the last few years. And I just think that that is over. I think no one's going to become a DJ in 2025. People might stay DJs who already were, but nobody's becoming a DJ in 2025. Like no new DJs are coming, which leads me to my last thing that's out, starting a podcast. I don't think podcasting is out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Hell, I hope it isn't because I have one and I have for five years now. Wow, that's a really long time. But yeah, I don't think podcasting is out. Like I think people, podcasting is going to be in, podcasting is kind of, it's just, it's a blank canvas. certain podcasts might be in, might be out. But like podcasting as a whole, it's too broad, right? But I think starting a podcast in 2025 is out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
That's just because they haven't updated, okay? There are malls out there that have updated that are great. And so, I don't know. I just think shopping in person in the mall is back. That's my opinion. Okay, moving on. I think the smaller iPhone is in. For many years, we all thought that the superior iPhone was the iPhone Pro Max, the big iPhone that's like a fucking iPad.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Now, listen, I'm not closing the door. If you want to start a podcast, if you want to become a DJ, do it. Don't let me fucking stop you. I'm not trying to like close the door behind me. But I just genuinely think that last year, starting a podcast was so popular. Everyone started a podcast. which I think was great because it's a fun thing to do for some people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
It's not fun for everyone, but it's, I don't know, it's, listen, I have a podcast, like I get it. I enjoy having a podcast. And I think everybody who wants to try it should try it. But I think because everyone who is interested tried it last year already, they've either quit already or they're still going. But no one's going to start a podcast in 2025.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I feel like they would have last year already. So I think starting a podcast is out in 2025. That's my opinion. And we'll see. But it could be, you know what? Podcasting could become even bigger this year. And that's only good for me. So if that prediction doesn't come true, I'm fine with it. I have been holding my pee for the last 20 minutes. I have to go pee and end this episode.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
But that is what I think is going to be in and what I think is going to be out in 2025. We'll check back on this episode in a year, listen to it again, see if I was right, see if I was wrong. Now I can finally go and really look at what everybody else predicted because I didn't want to be biased. You know what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Like I kept seeing videos of what people thought was gonna be in and out for the year on my YouTube recommended. And I was like, Emma, you can't click that because you have to wait until you make your list. Like that's the only way for it to be genuine. But now I can finally go look. All right. You all, thank you for listening. Thank you for hanging out. It's always a pleasure.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. We're now on YouTube. So go subscribe to the Anything Goes YouTube channel. That would be Anything Goes with Emma Chamberlain on YouTube. Go find it. You'll find it. Anything Goes is anywhere that you stream podcasts. So go listen wherever you please. Follow Anything Goes on Instagram at Anything Goes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain. Follow me on YouTube at Emma Chamberlain. Oh, follow anything goes on TikTok and anything goes. Wow. I haven't like done this outro in a while. So I really forgot what to say. This is the first episode of 2025. I'm completely rusty and I have no clue what to say. I'm a mess. What did I miss? Oh, check out Chamberlain Coffee, my coffee company.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I'm overwhelmed by the pressure to sort of be right, which is defeating the purpose. This is not about being right. It's about Sharing your gut feelings about what you think is going to be in and out, what you think the year holds. It's not about being right. But of course, there's a little part of me that's like, well, I want to be right. Like, I want to be spot on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
chamberlaincoffee.com or at chamberlaincoffee on social media. I'll talk to you very soon. I love you all. I appreciate you all and goodbye. Oh my God. No, last thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
It might as well be an iPad because it's so big. That was perceived as the ideal iPhone for many years, at least for me and the people that I'm around. You know, it's bigger, it's better. And I think because we were all in this sort of honeymoon phase with technology and with the internet, the bigger iPhone made sense. It's like, well, I want to be able to watch movies on it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I want to be able to see my Instagram feed very large on my phone. I want to be able to write emails on this massive phone. It's kind of awesome to have an iPad in your pocket. I think the honeymoon phase with the internet and with technology is over now. And having an iPad in your pocket is is not as desirable anymore, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think now everybody's trying to get off of their phone, trying to be on their phone less. And so having a smaller iPhone, I think that that's gonna become the standard again, having the smaller little iPhone. It fits in your pocket easier. It's less... I don't know, like because the screen is smaller, maybe in theory, you won't want to go on it as much.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
That probably doesn't work or isn't like a real thing. But I think a lot of people, myself included, would assume that and would maybe choose the smaller iPhone for that reason. I don't know. I just see the smaller iPhone coming back in. And listen, majority of us are not getting a new iPhone every year. I definitely do not.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I wait as long as I possibly can because I don't like switching everything over. So this might take a few years, but I think the popular choice is going to be the smaller iPhone. Next, minimalism. I think full-fledged minimalism is coming back into style. I'm talking about like the cult-like minimalism. The borderline toxic sort of minimalism.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
This was really popular a few years ago, and then it sort of fell out of favor. I think it's going to come back. By cult-like minimalism, I mean really getting rid of absolutely everything, every single item being perfect. I sort of see it becoming, for a lot of people, a fixation, an obsession of getting their minimalism lifestyle down to a science. And that's what happened a few years ago.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I don't remember how many years ago it was, but I think it's just a natural response to... hyper consumerism, which has been very in style over the last few years. The content that we've been watching over the last few years has been hauls and organizational videos and just videos about stuff. I can't tell you... how many videos I see per day because the algorithm serves them to me about stuff.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Even on the news, we see stuff about how, you know, people are collecting this new viral item. Like people are collecting the Stanley cup in every single color and they're waiting outside of target to get the new Stanley cup at six in the morning, even though they already have nine Stanley cups, not even 20 Stanley cups at home. The last few years have been all about consumerism.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
So I think naturally, extreme minimalism is going to become trendy, is going to be in for 2025. Now, I think extreme minimalism is unsustainable for most people and not actually the most productive approach. That's my opinion. I think it works for some people, but I think for a majority of people, it's too extreme of a lifestyle. So I think...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
People have been having this conversation online for the past month and a half. So yes, I'm really late. But I'm late because I wanted to take my time. And I wanted to make this list perfect. I wanted to present you with the highest quality. And I think I did that. But I'll let you be the judge. These are broad predictions that apply to society and culture as a whole.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
the extreme minimalism is going to be sort of a fleeting trend. But I actually think the trend of extreme minimalism is going to have a net positive effect because I think a lot of people are going to try it and fail, but they'll end up somewhere where they still have a better relationship with their items and with consuming stuff than they did before, if that makes sense.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
So I actually think it's going to be a net positive sort of trend. Like, I am not a minimalist, okay? I'm not even trying to be a minimalist. However, I really admire a lot of the philosophies that minimalists hold dear to their heart. And I take what serves me and leave the rest. I don't consider myself a minimalist at all. I'm not a minimalist at all. But I have, over the years...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
really kept in mind their philosophies and they've benefited my life immensely. And so I think that will be the net positive of minimalism being in 2025. And we're already sort of seeing that being discussed with various online trends, like people talking about under consumption core, which is basically just living normally and consuming normally and sharing that. Like
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Hey, look, I only have one water bottle. I don't have nine Stanley cups. Check out the one pair of running shoes I have that I've had for the last year. Just sharing normal consumption because online it's been all about buying as much as you possibly can. Okay, next. Indie art in entertainment. Low budget stuff.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I feel like over the last few years, I've heard a lot of people talking about how big budget projects and entertainment, big budget movies, big budget TV shows, big budget music albums are just not hitting the mark. They're just not exciting to people. And I've been hearing that swirling around for honestly the past few years.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And that's not to say that there haven't been some big budget projects that have been incredible. I mean, there definitely has been a few. But I feel like the general consensus around big budget industry projects is nine out of 10 times, this shit sucks. It's just not as good as it used to be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
And I think a natural response to that is going to be an uptick in indie artists, indie music, indie filmmakers, indie TV show makers. And I think now more than ever, you can be indie. You don't need the industry to make art. You can make an album and put it on Spotify all by yourself. You can make a movie and put it onto YouTube if you want.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
There aren't really gatekeepers of the industry anymore. So yeah, you can be indie now more than ever. And definitely like there is indie stuff happening, but I think 2025 is the year of indie. I don't know. I think it's going to become in the entertainment industry.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
I think it's going to become trendy to do things yourself, to make an album, a music album all by yourself, to not be signed to a label, to go and make a movie with your friends and submit it to a film festival. And who cares what fucking happens if no one picks it up, put it on YouTube and then it goes viral. I just, I think that, And we're long overdue for this in art. And I think it happens.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
There's like a phase of indie and then there's a phase of big budget and then there's a phase of indie and then, right? I feel like it maybe goes back and forth and back and forth every few years. And so I think indie's back, which I love, of course. a lot of my favorite art of all time is like low budget stuff. Like Napoleon Dynamite is my favorite movie of all time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
That was total indie movie, low budget. And it's to me, one of the best movies of all time. And so I just, I don't know. I see that coming back in. It's a style. Next, Normcore. Okay. I Googled the definition of normcore and it didn't really paint the picture of what I think normcore is. So I'll give you my own personal definition of normcore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
When I think of normcore, I think of quite literally just normal, normal core. Okay. So normcore meaning like the house that I grew up in, the car that my dad had growing up. I'm talking about Normal, like architecture, like just like a normal house, normal stuff, common stuff, not flashy, not expensive necessarily, not like shitty quality, but like not designer normal. norm core. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
These predictions don't just apply to me or just apply to any one person. They're more societal. They're more cultural, you know? These are a combination of rational predictions and gut feelings. Some of these things I want to be true. Some of these things I don't want to be true. I was completely unbiased in making this list.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
Now I know you're thinking, Emma, you're talking about the, like you're turning normal life for 99.9% of people into an aesthetic or a core. No, I'm not fucking doing it. Don't point fingers at me. This is my prediction, babe. This is my prediction. OK, I'm not saying I like it. I'm not saying it's good. I'm not saying it's politically correct. I'm just this is just what I see coming.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
in's and out's for 2025 [video]
OK, I think it's going to become a trend to be normal, which, to be honest, I don't think is actually necessarily a bad thing. I think it's a little bit frustrating. for people who are not like, well, see here, let me clarify. I think it's going to become a trend online for like influential people, meaning like celebrities, influencers, billionaires, like tech,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Happy birthday to me Happy birthday to me Happy birthday to me Happy birthday Oh, it's my birthday. Yeah, it is. I'm 24. Time flies. But you know what that means? I'm almost 25. And you know what that means? My prefrontal cortex is almost done developing. My brain is almost fully adult. If you don't know what a prefrontal cortex is, to be honest, I don't really know either.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I don't give a fuck. Okay. I'm comfortable. And I still find a way to express myself fashion wise while being comfortable. You know, there's a few times a year where I can like wear something tight and the booties out or the boobies are out or whatever. Like it happens. And I would do it more if it wasn't physically uncomfortable. I don't like how it feels on my body. Sorry.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And I'd rather sacrifice a bit of like sex appeal just to be comfortable. That's my opinion. That's who I am. That's what's important to me. And that wasn't always the case. You know, I think aesthetics used to be more important to me than comfort for a period of time there. And those days are over and the prefrontal cortex is solid and I love my comfy clothes. Okay, moving on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Having a fully developed prefrontal cortex is pretty awesome because life in a lot of ways is sort of easier. Making decisions, planning things, coordinating things, those things are hard when you're younger. The older you get, the more developed your prefrontal cortex is, the more wisdom you have, the easier it is to deal with some of life's problems. And that's sort of a beautiful thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I exist in a lot of silence these days. When I'm making my morning coffee, when I'm sitting and I'm drinking it, when I'm having my lunch, when I'm going for a walk, when I'm laying in bed, taking a midday rest, you know, when I'm doing chores, when I'm driving, when I'm doing my makeup. There are a lot of routine actions that I used to do with noise that I no longer do with noise.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
You know, I used to drive with music on. I used to eat lunch with a YouTube video playing. I used to do my makeup with a podcast going. For some reason now, I just want silence as often as possible. And it feels to me like evidence of the prefrontal cortex developing. Listen, There are moments where I'm like, you know what? I want some music on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
But they're far less frequent than me choosing silence. And this is somewhat of a new development. Like for a really long time, I always had to have noise. Like any moment that was quiet, I had to have noise. And I challenged myself a little while ago to stop doing that because I think it was impacting my ability to number one, motivate to like get back to work.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Like if I would be like working and then I'd sit down for lunch and watch a YouTube video, it would make me not want to go back to work because I'd be like, wait, I want to watch more YouTube. So I sort of decided, all right, I'm not going to basically consume anything during the day. And then at the end of the day, I could watch a little YouTube, listen to a
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
So yeah, for one, it was making it hard for me to be productive in a weird way. But also, number two, I then wasn't using my time to think to think. I was using my time to think to listen to music, to listen to podcasts, to listen to YouTube videos. And a lot of my job is thinking. I'm thinking a lot for this podcast. I'm thinking a lot for Chamberlain Coffee.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I'm thinking a lot about random creative concepts for like brand partnerships. I'm thinking about how to make a YouTube video feel well-rounded and how to make it entertaining. I'm thinking about how can I film this video to make it more interesting? Like all of these little random things happen in those little quiet moments throughout the day.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And if I fill that with noise, I'm not getting to benefit from that quiet time anymore. And so those two reasons made me want to, you know, exist in more silence. But then I ended up just falling in love with it. And now I'm existing in silence majority of the time by choice, not because I'm like trying to further my productivity.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
It's actually become something I just enjoy and find to be so recharging for me. But it's almost like unthinkable. Like if I think of myself as like an 18 year old driving around in silence, doing my makeup in silence, absolutely not. I don't think it would have happened. So it's very much Emma growing up. I also think I've become a lot more productive in the last few years.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Like for so long, I was so emotionally unstable. Like as a late teenager, early 20 year old, there were so many things just constantly rattling my foundation, you know, turbulent friendships, turbulent romantic relationships, friendships fluctuating self-esteem, figuring out who I am as a person. I just was much more unstable and I just couldn't get as much done, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And a lot of it was self-inflicted, dating the wrong guys, being friends with the wrong people, prioritizing the wrong things, not understanding myself well enough to make the right choices for myself. Like the list goes on. Technically, these are all of my own doing. I did these things to myself, but I think it was a necessary part of growing up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And I'm just in a much more stable point in my life now where my life is just more chill. There's much less drama going on. I understand myself a lot better. I'm still learning, but I understand myself a lot better. And that has just led me to being more productive. And it's incredible because it was so stressful for so many years of my life, constantly struggling struggling in my personal life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
It just made me so, I couldn't get a lot done. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Skims. I'm somebody who barely likes to wear a bra to begin with, right? Like for the most part, I'm choosing a bralette, something light. But there are occasions when I want my boobs to be up and out. I remember the first time I tried on a push-up bra.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
But it is also sort of terrifying to be approaching the end of the era where I can use the excuse that my brain isn't fully developed whenever I make a mistake. So, you know, I'm mourning that loss, but I'm also excited. I'm not afraid of growing up. And I think it's because of my parents' relationship to getting older, particularly my dad's.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I was blown away at how uncomfortable the bra was. But I tried on a push-up bra again recently. My boobs were lifted and I was comfortable. Thanks to the Skims push-up bra, okay? Somehow this magical bra manages to push the boobs up without digging into your rib cage and squishing your boobs in a way that feels completely unnatural. I just didn't think that you could get the best of both worlds.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I don't want to have to sacrifice lift for comfort. And with the Skims push-up bra, I don't have to. And you don't either. Let those boobies shine, okay? Shop Skims Ultimate Bra Collection and more at Skims.com and at Skims LA Flagship on Sunset Boulevard. If you place an online order, be sure to let them know that we sent you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Select podcast in the survey and then anything goes in the drop-down menu that follows. Now back to the episode. Next, my friendships have matured. You know, I feel like when you're a young person, your friendships are much more intense. Like when I was a late teenager, I saw my best friends every single day. We slept at each other's houses almost every night.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
We, you know, would do our work together. We would do everything together. And my friendships have definitely evolved beyond that. Like, I don't have friendships like that anymore. I have friends that I see on a biweekly basis. I have friends that I talk to on a semi-daily basis. But at this point, we're adults. We have work. We have hobbies. We have family. We have a lot to balance.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
It's completely unrealistic to have that type of friendship as an adult. It's just kind of impossible. Listen, it probably works for some people, but for me and for my friends, it doesn't. So like we see each other when we can, but it's just not as intense. And can I be honest? It's so much better this way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
When, you know, you're young and you see your friends every day and you do everything together, it's really fun. It's really deep. It's an experience that I'd hope that every young person has with their friends. But it does ultimately take a toll, not only on the friendship, but also on all individuals individually. in the relationship.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Like it takes a toll on the relationship because the more time you spend together, the higher the likelihood is that there's going to be conflict. Now, conflict is important in relationships, but if you spend too much time together, you can just start bickering about nothing, you know, because you're just sick of each other. But
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Beyond that, I think it can be really hard to have a sense of individuality when you're in a friend group that's so tight-knit that you see each other every single day. You know, you don't have a sense of self anymore at a certain point because everything you do is with this friend or with this group of friends.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And it can also cause an unhealthy dependency on one another where, you know, you don't want to do anything without that friend, and that's not healthy either. And I don't know. It's just... I think friendships like that are just... Those types of friendships, at least for me personally, are reserved for my teenage years and my early 20s. I will never have a friendship like that again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And can I be honest? I'm overjoyed. I love... having friends at my yoga class that I only see at yoga, low maintenance friendships. I love, you know, my best friends that I text on almost a daily basis and I get dinner with, you know, every other week or so. And, you know, every once in a while we go on a trip or something, but it's like, we all get to have our own lives.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
We all get to get work done. Nobody's expecting too much from the other. It's just healthier. Next, I almost have no drama in my life anymore. Now, listen, I still have drama, but like when I was younger, there was constant drama, like drama with who I'm dating, drama with my friend group, drama at like in my work life, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
He has reassured me throughout my life that getting older is an incredible thing. You know, he's 60 years old and he reminds me almost on a daily basis how much fun he's having. He's like, I'm having more fun now than I've ever had before. Seeing him living his best life every day, I'm like, I can do it too. We can all do it too.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And I mean, I guess this kind of is the same as me being like emotionally unstable in a you know, this is kind of the same thing, but it extends to like my personal relationships and stuff as well. I just don't have drama as much anymore. Again, there's always going to be drama here and there, but I'm out of it. You know what I mean? And I will say I do kind of love drama.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
There's always been a little part of me that loves it. I don't like when I'm in it. And luckily for me, I'm in it less now than I've ever been before. And I'm happy. Okay. I don't want drama. occasionally I like to hear about a little bit of drama. Sure. But I don't want to be in it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And I think, you know, part of growing up is being like, wait, I don't want to put myself into situations that are going to cause drama. So I'm going to avoid them. When you're younger, I think sometimes you can chase chaos. Like for example, I used to only have crushes on guys that didn't like me. Thought it was so hot. Oh, this guy doesn't like me. That's so hot. I have to have him. Or
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Or I would date emotionally unavailable guys. They literally barely could give me the time of day. I was like, I'm obsessed. I'm addicted to this feeling. I love this. And I was fucking miserable. It was horrible, but it was sort of addicting. I was addicted to the drama. Same goes for friendship. I used to allow my friendships to become so intense and so...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
we're this friend group and there's so many of us and we're all in this group and we all hang out every single day. And that was a recipe for disaster. And I knew that, but I didn't know how to not get into those friendships because that was the only type of at least female friendship that I'd ever had where it's like, we're all like sisters. We hang out every day. We talk every day.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
We hang out every day. We're attached to the hip. We don't do anything without each other. And I knew deep down that that type of friendship, that structure of friendship caused drama, but I just kept getting into those types of friendships anyway. And that was a lot of drama. You know, there's always drama with that. Somebody would feel left out. Somebody would start to, you know, get grumpy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And then like everybody else would be like, why are you grumpy? We don't want to be around you because you're being grumpy. And it's like, there's always some sort of drama. And then even with work, like, you know, constantly dealing with mental blocks and because I was so distracted by all of the drama in my life, which then created more drama because then I couldn't get any work done.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
But also constantly being chased by deadlines to the point where it became drama, you know, and it's like, I can't get this done. I can't get this done. I don't know. I just used to have a lot of drama. No, I don't. And I love it. Number 10. Majority of the time when I do listen to music, it is soft, acoustic, simple music.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I love soothing, beautiful, quiet, cozy, like super stripped down, like low production value music. This is what I like. I don't want it to sound like it was made on a computer for one. I don't want to hear auto-tune on the voice. I don't want the voice to be perfect either. I don't want it to be like this perfectly loud singer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
No, I want some little indie person with a soft, soothing, normal-sounding voice. I want classic instruments. I want it to be really easy on the ears. I want there to be nothing loud, nothing sticking out. I love that. I just love soothing music.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Now, listen, there are times when I want to listen to something upbeat and I'll put that on, mainly with friends or whatever, driving around with people or something. That can be really fun. Or if I really want to get hyped up when I'm doing my makeup, maybe then. Maybe, but... I don't know. Again, 98% of the time I'd say maybe 95. Let's say 95 to be safe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Anywho, in honor of my 24th birthday, I thought it'd be kind of fun to discuss all of the evidence of my prefrontal cortex nearing its final stages of development. Within the last year or so, I've noticed a lot of maturation. See, even that word, maturation, big word. It's very clear that the prefrontal is just, it's hardening, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
95% of the time that I'm listening to music, it's something so fucking chill. You can barely comprehend how chill this music is. And that to me feels like a prefrontal cortex development. Like, I don't know, just wanting to hear soft, soothing sounds all the time to me feels like, okay, she's growing up. you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I mean, I never loved like super loud, super intense music, but I liked upbeat, fun music and I still do. It's just that I'm not gravitating towards it. A lot of times I just want to feel peaceful. I'm like constantly chasing peace. That's actually not something I put on my list of evidence of prefrontal cortex development, but that is actually another one. You know, I'm...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Everything that I do in my life for the most part is an action that hopefully will lead me to a more peaceful life. I just want peace and calm. You know, that's what I want more than ever in my life. Next, I love doing chores. I'm sorry. I love doing chores. Listen, I will say, I don't love doing chores when I don't have time to do chores. Like, chores when you're busy with other things, horrible.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Like, if I... Okay. Like if I have a photo shoot and the photo shoot starts at eight and I wake up and I go into my kitchen and I'm like, Ooh, I didn't do the dishes last night. Maybe I could try to do these before I leave for the shoot so I can come home to a clean house. But like, I also really wanted to like sit and have my coffee and just relax this morning. Like, and I'm making that decision.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
That sucks. Like, I'm not saying like, I love chores no matter what, but I actually enjoy doing chores if I have the time. Like, If it's the weekend and I don't really have anything going on and it's like 4 p.m. on a Sunday, I'll do a little house cleanup. I'll put my clothes away. I'll put the dishes in the dishwasher. I'll organize my pantry. I'll clean out my fridge. Whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I like these things. I love these things, actually. And it used to be not the case. I did not like chores, especially as a teenager. I don't think anyone does. But I don't know. I've ended up finding a lot of joy in it. I really enjoy the routine of it. I really enjoy the satisfaction of it, you know, because there actually is something that you gain from it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
It's not like an action that doesn't have a reward. If anything, it's like instant gratification. which these days we experience a lot of, this is like the healthiest form of instant gratification possible. You clean your space, you organize your space, you take care of your space, you take care of yourself, you take care of your animals, whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
You do chores, you get to benefit immediately, okay? If you clean your kitchen, now you get to look at a beautiful, clean kitchen. You get to enjoy that right after you do it. You get to enjoy that until you make your kitchen a mess again. Same thing goes for your closet. If you take care of your space and yourself and your animals and all these things, you will immediately benefit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
It's like everyone's happy. And, you know, if you look at it as something that's tedious and horrible, it's going to be tedious and horrible. But if you give it a chance and let it be sort of satisfying and relaxing, it can be kind of awesome. Like I love loading the dishwasher. An hour goes by, I take everything out, I put it all away. So satisfying.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I love putting all my clothes away and having a perfectly clean closet. I love making my bed. Actually, I'm kind of bad about making my bed, but I love when I do it. That's not as much of a priority for me. That's actually like the one chore that I'm not good about doing. I pretty much do everything else with joy and pleasure, but making my bed less so.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
But that feels very like maturing and being able to enjoy the simple tasks in life. I also love when people help me out with my chores. Don't get me wrong. I'm like not trying to do them all myself all the time, but I'm just saying that, you know, I do find joy in them occasionally. Moving on. I'm less available to people. I really don't have the energy to keep up with everyone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I don't respond to texts. I don't hang out with people as often. I'm just not a people pleaser anymore. And this is definitely that brain developing because... For so many years, I was a people pleaser, hung out with everyone who asked me to hang out, gave everyone my phone number, responded to every text. I was constantly available.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And thank God I've grown out of that because that was absolutely miserable. And it is incredible. There are moments when I get a bit concerned, like, oh, does this person feel like I'm ignoring them? You know, am I a bad person for not responding? But a lot of times... you know, I'll get back to them eventually. Or maybe I won't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I've noticed a bit of growing up and I think it's solid evidence that, you know, that frontal lobe is frontal lobing. You know what I mean? And so, I don't know, I thought I'd share with you all some of the results of my brain development. Like, you know, some of the things that have changed about me Without further ado, here is a list of all of the proof that my prefrontal cortex has developed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And I'll see them in person, like six months later and everything will be cool. And I'll be like, hey, you know, sorry, I didn't respond to the text. Like, I'm just not, I'm just not on my phone right now. Like I'm really, which by the way is true. I'm not lying. But I'm prioritizing my close circle. I'm prioritizing my own needs. I just can't be available to everybody.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I just can't show up for everybody. I used to show up for everyone all the time and now I just don't. I show up for far less people and it feels amazing. And I have so much more energy to put towards things that are ultimately more important. We can't be available to everyone all the time. It's impossible. And if you try to do it, you'll fail and you'll end up worse off.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Next, I think I'm developing new fears as my prefrontal cortex is developing. It's almost like as that part of my brain is developing, I'm becoming more scared because I am grasping more information, which means I'm grasping more scary information, which means I'm developing new fears. I feel like as I'm getting older, I'm becoming more and more and more terrified of flying on airplanes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I'm also becoming more and more and more terrified of my health and my physical well-being. I'm more and more frightened of illness and disease. Even people sometimes, like when I walk around in LA or New York, it's a big city, and there's a lot of crazy shit going on all the time. I'll get scared. I don't know if I've told this story, but I used to live on Hollywood Boulevard in Hollywood.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
which is very like city, you know, it's gritty, you know, it's, it's a bit spooky out there sometimes, you know, like there's, there's a decent amount of crime that goes on in Hollywood. And I lived, I lived right in the thick of it. And it was so funny. I was 17 living on Hollywood Boulevard at any given moment, something bad could happen.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And that's like not a rational, like that's a rational fear just because that area is like a free for all. And I didn't give a fuck. I was like 17 walking around like late at night by myself. It was so crazy. And I didn't care. I was like, nah, if somebody tries to fuck with me, I don't care. What? Now I'm an adult and I'm like, oh my God.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Like I would not, I would not feel comfortable walking around the area that I lived when I was 17 alone at night now. No way. No way. I'd need like my dad, a boyfriend, somebody like, you know what I'm saying? I'm not, I'm not walking around Hollywood Boulevard alone anymore. In fact, the last time I was around there at night, I actually was with like a protector in theory.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And I still was frightened. Like, I'm just frightened. So moral of this story is, like, I do weirdly think that I'm just developing more fears as my brain is developing. And hopefully, maybe over the next year of prefrontal cortex development, that will even out and I'll end up not afraid again. Because let's not forget, I still have a year to go.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Okay, but for now, I'm experiencing a lot of fears. Okay, next. I'm weirdly developing a deeper appreciation for animals. It's so weird. Growing up, I always really envied my mom's relationship with our animals because we had four animals in the house growing up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
We had two cats and two dogs, all of which I gaslit my mom into adopting and then proceeded to never take care of and she had to do everything. That's always how it is. And I always envied her relationship with the animals. She like adored them like as children almost. And, you know, she would talk to them and she would like cuddle with them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And she just, there was something about my mom's relationship with the animals that just felt deeper than mine. And I always envied it. And I didn't understand why I didn't have that relationship with them. I was like, why do you connect with them like this? Why do they love you so much? Why do you love them so much? Like, how do I get there?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And weirdly, as I'm getting older, I'm starting to feel more like my mom with animals. And I really think what it comes down to is when you're a kid, you really only hear what's loud. Like, you're listening to the noise when you're a kid, I feel like. You're listening to what people are telling you. You're listening to the music that's being played loudly.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
You're not, like, you're listening for loud things. Like, you're... What catches your attention is stuff that's loud. And I think the older you get, the more your brain is able to hear a whisper. And I think animals, weirdly, their magic is not loud. You know, it is sort of a whisper.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I just think that there's too much noise when you're a kid to be able to fully appreciate the beauty of an animal. I don't know. I mean, maybe it's different for everybody. I think for me, I had to grow into it. I think for other people, it's probably like, I was born and I loved my horse, Emma. And I could speak to my horse from a very young age and you don't understand me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Fine, but you get what I'm saying. Okay, I couldn't connect with animals fully until recently, really. Like I really just enjoy the moments that I have with my cats. laying in bed at the end of the day and doing work on my computer, my kitties coming and laying in my lap, you know, sitting on the toilet and like the kitties come and rub on my leg.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Let's begin. Number one, partying, going to the club, going to a bar, these things are no longer as enjoyable for me. And to be honest, this is something I'm kind of sad about. Like I'm struggling with this one. Like I still try to go out sometimes and I really don't enjoy it, but I want to enjoy it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And it's like these little moments throughout the day, I just, I feel so connected to them. And it didn't always feel that deep to me. It's just my relationship with animals, I feel like is becoming deeper and even more meaningful than ever. And it's almost like I can hear them now. I don't know how to explain it. It sounds crazy.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Okay, I'm starting to sound... Let's move on before I say something else weird. Moving on, I'm much more responsible with money. I had such a bad shopping addiction as a teenager. And when I was in my early 20s, horrible shopping addiction, had to buy everything, bought everything all the time.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And what was interesting about my shopping addiction was that I wasn't addicted to buying expensive things. The price didn't matter. In fact, I was all about getting as much as possible for as less as possible, which is why I've always loved thrift shopping and vintage shopping and all of this. But I was also buying like little trinkets for my house or like little useful gadgets. I don't know.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I've always loved shopping. And the second I made my own money, it got really dangerous. And I just was buying, buying, buying, buying, buying all the time. And it was definitely somewhat financially irresponsible. I wouldn't say it was detrimental or deeply harmful because, again, I wasn't actually spending a lot of money. But now I'm so much more responsible with money.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I'm kind of doing incredible. I still buy things. I'm a human being. I still buy things, but compared to how I used to be, I'm doing much better. And what really made me realize that I was having a problem was just starting to feel fatigued by having so much stuff around all the time. I started to become really aware of the fatigue that stuff gave me and too many choices.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
All of that was exhausting for me. And I think as my brain developed, I realized I can't justify this anymore. So I'm not going to do it anymore. Next. Oh, God, this one. This one. I'm scared to say it out loud, but I have to because it's true. I'm less scared of getting pregnant on accident. OK, hear me out. I don't want to get pregnant.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I am not going to get pregnant unless like my IUD falls out and I didn't know and I get pregnant. I am not planning on getting pregnant. I am very, very adamant about being on birth control, about preventing pregnancy in as many ways, safe, comfortable, healthy ways as possible. I'm all about it.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Like I got the IUD in, I get it checked, you know, to make sure it's in the right position as often as I can. I do not want to get pregnant. And when I was a teenager and in my early 20s, of course, I was terrified of accidentally getting pregnant.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I can't even tell you how many times I've had a full panic attack thinking I was pregnant because my period was late and I was really bloated just to then take a pregnancy test and it be negative and then me, you know, get my period like a day later. But I used to be so terrified.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Now, when my period's late and I'm bloated and I'm like, oh, I should probably take a pregnancy test because I'm scared, my fear is like dwindling. I'm less afraid every time because I'm getting to a point now where I'm like, if I were to get pregnant, it would be okay. I could have a baby if I had to. I don't want to, but if I had to, I could.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And, you know, I think my biggest fear for so long was like, I don't want to have to deal with the weight of of this decision of like, what am I going to do? I'm now pregnant. I'm I'm 19. Like, I don't I was very afraid of that experience and what mental turmoil that would bring. And I never wanted to be faced with that at an age where I wasn't ready to deal with that sort of decision.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And, you know, now I'm at a point in my life where I'm like, okay, you know what? I'm a full grown adult. I feel, you know, the prefrontal cortex is, is hardening. Okay. If I happen to get pregnant on accident, it wouldn't be as traumatic for me anymore. So therefore I'm not as frightened of it. Listen, I'm not trying to have a baby. Stop, stop. Stop starting rumors about me.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Like I feel like I'm still young enough that I should be enjoying it and I'm not, but I like want to enjoy it. So I'm frustrated. But the reality is I don't enjoy it. I'm over it, to be honest. And I think why I'm so sad about that is because I never really had like a party phase, to be honest. I didn't go to college.
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Like, I'm not, but I'm just saying that it would be fine. And last but not least, I'm less focused on my appearance. Like, I'm not talking about, like, my clothes, you know, my makeup, my hair. I'm talking about my body, okay? I'm talking about what my actual face looks like, what my actual body looks like.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I'm talking about what I look like if I'm stripped down completely naked and that's who I am. As a young person, I was obsessed with what I look like. I was obsessed with what my face looked like. I was obsessed with what my body looked like. And I was obsessing about it constantly in a very unhealthy way. And I think that's very common for young people and especially young people growing up.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
With Instagram and YouTube and all of this, like I used to be so focused on my physical body. And listen, am I still? Of course I am. But I would say that its intensity has dwindled down to like 50%, maybe even like 40%. I used to be at 100% obsessed with what I look like. Every little wrinkle, every little thing I didn't like, I was aware and I was like, I will get rid of it. I will find a way.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Which has always been shocking to people about me because I'm not particularly obsessed with my more surface level appearance, like my clothes, my makeup, my hair. Like I'm down to look like shit in that way. As long as I like how my face and my body look. Does that make sense? Like I care about that. Yeah. And I just don't care anymore.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Like sometimes I'm editing a YouTube video and I'm like, holy shit, I cannot believe how hideous I think I look in this clip. Like, should I just cut this clip? And then I'm like, wait, no. And then I move on. It's like a split second thought of like, oh wow, that's an ugly, ugly angle of me. Okay. And then I move on.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Whereas it used to be like, I'd see an ugly, an ugly angle of myself and I'd be like, I'm cutting that. And I know what you're thinking. Emma, you've always showed like your ugly side. Yeah. But I've always had a limit. Okay. Now I have like no limit. I'm like, I don't really care. I don't know. I just, I'm less concerned about my body. I still care. to an extent.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
It's like if I have acne, if I'm not taking care of myself in some way and it's showing in a way that is unfavorable for me, yes, I'm going to notice that. Yes, I might not be happy with it, but it's less torturous for me. I just used to be so obsessed with it in a toxic way. And I think that that's just kind of cooled down a bit for me. And I think that's it. Is that it? I think that's it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
We'll check back in a year when I turn 25 and see if I had any more developments. But this is all I got for now. Anyway, I hope you all wish me a happy birthday because if you don't, I will be really offended. So, um... Blow up my freaking comments on all platforms. Happy birthday, Emma. Happy birthday, Emma.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Get me to 40 million comments on every single video and every single Instagram post I've ever posted in my life for my birthday gift. And yeah, that's all I got for today. I love you all. If it happens to be your birthday today, happy birthday to you as well. Let's not make it all about me. Yeah, that's all I got for today. New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Find Anything Goes anywhere at Anything Goes. Find me anywhere at Emma Chamberlain. I'm Emma Chamberlain. Find my coffee company anywhere at Chamberlain Coffee. Chamberlain because I'm Emma Chamberlain and it's Chamberlain Coffee. Uh, I'm recording this before my birthday. Like it's not like when I'm recording, this is not my birthday. You know what I mean?
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Like, I wish I could say something like, I'm going to go eat a fucking cupcake, but I can't really justify that. Cause it's like, I mean, I can have a cupcake whenever I want, but I don't have cupcakes at my house. Like I don't have a cupcake, you know, because, um, it's not actually my birthday. I can't say, I'll talk to you guys later, going out to dinner tonight for my birthday.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
A lot of kids right after high school go to college and they party more nights out of the week than they don't. They're drunk all the time. It's a big party for like four years. And then they eventually, you know, grow out of it. I didn't go to college. I didn't have that experience. I moved straight to LA at age 17. And shockingly, I didn't party. I just didn't. And then...
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Because again, right now it's like, to me, it's a random Tuesday when I'm recording this. It's a random, random, random Tuesday. My birthday is, it's not now, you know? So I'm going to go proceed to have a normal day, but I wish me in the future on May 22nd, a very, very beautiful, happy birthday. Emma, if you're listening to this, I hope that, you know, you do something fucking fun.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Obviously, you're sober. You don't drink anymore, so you can't do anything that fun. No margarita jugs, no beer kegs, you know. Oof. So I don't know. Go like fucking, I don't know, go sit in a rocking chair outside and read a book or something, you old hag. Is hag derogatory? I should Google that. I don't think. Okay. So if I said something derogatory, you can't get mad at me because I didn't know.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Um, nah, it's fine. Hag is a wizened old woman or a kind of fairy. I called myself that. Like, don't cancel me for that, okay? You guys, don't cancel me on my fucking birthday. I'm actually not kidding. Don't do that. That's like cruel. Cancel me another day. I'm knocking on wood. But don't do it today because it's my birthday. Okay, you guys, I'm done. I'm not talking anymore. I love you all.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I appreciate you all. Have a gorgeous rest of your day. I mean, it is the best day of the year because it's my birthday. So celebrate for me. Treat yourself today in honor of me. Okay, love you, bye.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
When I was around 20, I really started partying, but not really in a club environment or a bar environment or even like a party environment, more so like at home with friends, you know, and that was fun. But like, I can count the amount of times I've been to a club on one hand, like, okay, maybe two hands. But that's not a lot.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Just because I've never hung out with people who have liked going to clubs or whatever, you know, I never had that phase in the way that maybe I wanted to. And then as soon as I got a little glimpse of it in my early 20s, in my now almost mid 20s, I'm over it, you know.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
But I also think too that when you're young and you're dating around and you're trying to like find a partner, I don't know, going out and partying is more intriguing. And the last time I was single, fully single, I went out for sure. I didn't even enjoy it, but I did it because I was like, I need to ultimately, this is how I will find my next boyfriend. I have to be going out.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I have to be social. But then once that sort of single phase ended in my life, it was like, okay, well now I really, now not only do I not like it, but now I don't even have a reason to do it. So it's just kind of over. But then a part of me still is like, wait, it can't be over. That can't be right. So I'll like try to go out and then I just hate it and it sucks.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
But I actually think it's ultimately fine. Like I actually don't think I was ever destined to be a partier. I don't think that's who I am. I get too bad of anxiety the day after I party and drink and whatever. I don't think I'm built for it anyway. But now it doesn't really matter because I don't like it anymore. So that's not to say I don't like being social. Like I love to go out to dinner.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I love to do like a small little party at home with friends at a reasonable hour. I love that. Like there's other things to do that sort of have the same energy, but I just, the partying, the going out, I don't like it. I think the part that I miss the most is actually the getting ready. I loved getting ready to go out. Like the few times that I really went out, that was the best part. Yeah.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
So, okay, moving on. Number two, this kind of sounds contradictory to what I just said, but just bear with me. I don't really get FOMO anymore. And if you don't know what FOMO is, fear of missing out. You know, like all of your friends go rock climbing and you have to do something else.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
You have to, you know, go get your nails done or something because you booked that appointment a week ago and you need to get them done. And so you have to miss out on the rock climbing. Horrible example. But FOMO would be like, I wish I wasn't getting my nails done right now. I wish I was rock climbing with my friends. I have FOMO. I have fear of missing out.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Or not getting invited to a party and spending the night at home and being like, oh, I wish I was there. I have FOMO. Why can't I be there? I definitely used to have FOMO as a young person. I was trying to get invited to as many things as possible. And I was also simultaneously a yes man. So anything I got invited to, I was going to. I always had FOMO.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
You know, if there's a party I wasn't invited to, which in LA kind of happened a lot because I like wasn't known for going to parties. So I just like didn't really get invited to a lot of parties. And then when I would get invited to parties, I would like, I don't know. I like didn't really stand out necessarily in a big way. So people weren't like excited to invite me back.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I wasn't like the star of the party. You know how there's like stars of the party where it's like, wow, this person is just fun. We need to invite them back next time. I've never been that. So yeah, I always had FOMO. Anytime I wasn't invited to something, anytime I had to miss out on something, I had FOMO a little bit. I felt anxious. I felt stressed about not being there. Now, no.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I know it's a part of the brain. I don't exactly know what part it is. And that's kind of mortifying to admit for me, honestly, because I use the word, the term prefrontal. prefrontal cortex so often. It's like in my vocabulary and I don't really know what part of the brain it is. So let's read the definition together.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And I think the reason for that is because I'm so aware of what's fulfilling for me in my life. And all those things are in my control for the most part. You know, my relationships, my hobbies, my work life, helping others, taking care of myself, exercise, like all of these things are what make me feel fulfilled. And those are all in my control.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
If I want to exercise, I can walk out my front door and go for a walk. If I want to deepen my relationship with one of my loved ones, I can go to dinner and have a deep chat with them. All of the things that make my life most fulfilling are actually at my fingertips. I'm not at the mercy of an invite. I don't have fear of missing out because I just do stuff that makes me feel good in my own life.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I don't need to go hang out with other people or go to a cool party to fill my cup. And also too, I think I now have grasped the reality of most situations. It's very rare that an event will live up to expectation, you know, like the party, the hangout, the rock climbing adventure, like whatever it may be, like whatever you're missing out on is probably not that great.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
You'll be able to have an experience that's just as good another time. You know, it's OK. You know, I think I've realized that over the years and as my prefrontal cortex has developed. OK, moving on. I don't want to wear cropped clothing anymore and I don't want to wear platform shoes. I don't know what it was about me as like a teenager or even a young woman in my early 20s.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I just I wanted every single shirt I wore to be cropped. and I wanted every single shoe I wore to be platform. And I feel like there's something about that that's so very much like prefrontal cortex is not fully developed, not in an insulting way, but it does feel very, at this point, sort of immature style-wise. I can't explain it. I'm not saying I never will wear a cropped shirt, okay?
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I absolutely will. Like, that exists, but I don't need every shirt I wear to be cropped. And the same thing goes for the platform shoe. Like the platform Ugg boot is very popular right now. Like you walk through the streets of LA or New York and half of the people are wearing a platform Ugg boot, which I totally, that's totally fine.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Okay, but my point is like, I don't need to wear the platform Ugg boot. I like the original. Same thing goes for like a classic t-shirt. I don't need to wear a cropped t-shirt. I'm just going to wear one that's a normal length. You know, there are times in fashion where I'm like, wait a minute, this is a cool cropped shirt, you know, or like this is a cool... platform boot.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Like, sure it happens, but I'm just saying like, it used to be this thing of like every single shirt needed to be cropped. I'd buy a shirt, crop it immediately. Every single shoe needed to be platform. And now it's like, okay, no, we can wear, we can, we can wear normal length shirts. We can wear normal, um, you know, normal shoes. Do you know what I'm saying?
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I don't know what it is about that in like late teens, early 20s. Like every girl in their late teens, early 20s loves a cropped shirt, loves a platform shoe. Go into a high school right now. You're going to see crop tops and you're going to see platform Converse and platform Ugg boots, okay? Count how many you see. This is not an insult. This is just the truth. I loved this. I was all about it.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I was there too. I just grew out of it for whatever reason. I don't know why. My brain has just decided it's done with that. And it was like so, it was such like a moment where I was like, wait a minute, what have I been doing? I don't want to do this anymore. It doesn't feel chic to me anymore. You know, it doesn't feel cute to me anymore. I don't like it.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that controls higher order cognitive functions, including decision-making, planning, and personality. And And apparently, it's pretty much done developing by your mid-20s, approximately at age 25. So I'm almost a full-grown adult. And that's exciting because, you know, from what I've heard from the adults in my life,
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Which actually leads me to my next piece of evidence that my prefrontal cortex is developing. My personal style is definitely maturing. You know, like I used to wear maybe brighter colors, trendier silhouettes. I was attracted to more like maximalist sort of things. And just for whatever reason that I can't even necessarily explain, it's almost like just something that has happened subconsciously.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
My style has matured a lot. And it's not because I'm trying to dress my age. I don't believe in that. I don't think that that is a thing. Naturally, my style has just matured. And by matured, I mean I'm attracted to, you know, soothing colors on the eyes. I don't want to wear bright colors. I don't want to wear crazy patterns.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
I have a really sort of gentle on the eyes sort of color palette in my closet. All of the silhouettes, in my opinion, are really timeless. Like I'm not buying super hyper trendy things anymore. The clothing in my closet is much more comfortable. Like I'm not, I don't have a lot of tight pants on. or like super mini skirts.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
It's just a lot more simple and more mature and more, in my opinion, sophisticated. And again, I'm not saying like to not wear clothes like that is to not mature, is to not be sophisticated. It's just how my taste has evolved, what I see as sophisticated, because in my opinion, what is sophisticated is subjective, you know, in my opinion. Like I think
anything goes with emma chamberlain
oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Well, I guess sophisticated does sort of have more of a definition. So maybe I shouldn't have used that word. Maybe I should say chic because chic to me is much more subjective. Like what's chic to one person is not chic to another. And that is made clear whenever you go on TikTok or Reels and see people reviewing fashion. I will vehemently disagree with what people think is chic.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And I'll also disagree with what they think is not chic. You know, chic is definitely up for debate. What I think is chic has changed. I think it's a lot more consistent now. Like, I used to change my style a lot. And I still do when I go to events. But that's kind of different because that's not really as much my personal day-to-day style.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
That's like me experimenting because I get to rent clothes for these events. So I get to like have fun and wear stuff that I don't have to commit to buying, you know? But my day-to-day style, what is in my own personal wardrobe that I own is really consistent, really simple, really timeless, and in my opinion, really chic and a bit more mature.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
There's no way that my prefrontal cortex hasn't played a role in that. Moving on, this also sort of relates to fashion. I definitely am prioritizing comfort over aesthetics now more than ever. I have become really good at balancing fashion and comfort. Everything that you look at on me is, in my eyes, fashionable, but also physically comfortable for me.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
There are a few times a year where I will prioritize aesthetics over comfort, and that is for the two or three major red carpet events that I do on a yearly basis. Other than that, it is comfort over aesthetics for me. For example, like my hair, I love my pixie cut. I love the way it looks. But more than anything, I love it because of how easy it is and how comfortable it is.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
Having short hair is so comfortable. No hair on my neck. I don't know. I don't have to brush it. It doesn't get tangled. It doesn't feel heavy. It's so comfortable. I took my long acrylic nails off, or they weren't acrylic, but they were like extensions, Gel-X, whatever. I took my long nails off a few months ago because I'm learning how to play guitar.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
And at a certain point, I was like, maybe at some point I'll get them back on. Maybe I'll do guitar for a month and then have long nails for a month, just because I loved having long nails so much. I always loved how they looked. But now that I have short nails again, I'm like, I don't know if I'll ever go back. Like even for red carpet events, I'm like, I don't.
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oh, there’s my prefrontal cortex!
It's so uncomfortable to have long nails. I don't think I ever want to have them again. Now I'm I'm so obsessed with comfort at this point in my life that I'm like, oh, I can't. You know, I wear a lot of loose clothes. And listen, people will say things about me like Emma looks like doesn't look hot. Emma is like, I don't know, like her clothes look like she doesn't look very feminine.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
My media consumption is at an all-time low. I still consume media. I'm on YouTube. I listen to podcasts, but I'm not consuming media. I'm not consuming the media like Instagram, TikTok, the zeitgeist. I'm not involved in the zeitgeist. I've been able to curate what I see on those platforms in a way that shelters me in a lot of ways from the zeitgeist. However, it doesn't shelter me completely.
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the allure of the "winter arc"
Now, I did the dopamine detox a few years ago, like a year and a half, maybe two years ago. I don't even remember. It doesn't matter. But I did it. And I will say, short term, I did not stick to many of the habits. Like... I felt really good when I did the dopamine detox. I really enjoyed it. I had like a really peaceful experience, you know, not consuming any media.
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the allure of the "winter arc"
I don't even think I listened to music. I might be wrong. I was like really connected to the real world. I was filling my time more wisely. My head felt clearer. Like I had a really beautiful experience doing that. I made a whole podcast about it if you want to go listen. But short term, like right after, did those habits stick? No.
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the allure of the "winter arc"
And not only that, but we're going to be mentally shredded, okay? The brain folds are going to be folding. We are going to be locking in mentally as well. Health at an all-time high, bad vibes at an all-time low. Show up January 1st, already the best version of yourself. 2025 is going to start off on the best foot, the fucking winter arc.
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the allure of the "winter arc"
However, did it plant a seed in my mind that made me realize like, okay, I can't be as extreme as this, right? The dopamine detox, it's too extreme. I can't do this every day. But can I strive to find that peaceful state of mind and make that a baseline for me by changing my habits? Yes.
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the allure of the "winter arc"
So it sort of showed me what a peaceful, not overstimulated, not relying on instant gratification sort of brain feels like. And I really enjoyed it. And I've sort of chased the feeling in a weird way ever since. And that was very valuable. And now a lot of the habits that I implemented in the dopamine detox now are permanent habits for me. It just didn't happen immediately. And I
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Can I say for sure if that one experience doing the dopamine detox got me to where I am today, where a lot of those habits are like permanent for me at this point? I can't say for sure. There's been a lot of things that have happened since that have gotten me to this point, but I would assume it did at least a little bit. But all of that to say, like the rules are very strict and unsustainable.
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the allure of the "winter arc"
And to some people, that's the whole point. To me, I think that could be a potentially very negative thing because while you're doing it, the strict and unsustainable rules might be sort of impossible to complete or to do, or it might just be miserable. You might just be miserable and having a terrible time and following a list of rules that aren't even really yours. You just found them online.
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the allure of the "winter arc"
They're not catered to you in your life. They're from fucking Reddit or TikTok or whatever. And then after the challenge ends, at best, you won't be able to sustain everything you did and you'll go back to some of your old ways. And at worst, you'll go back to all of your old ways.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Would it be better just to slowly but surely integrate healthier habits into our lives, you know, to slow and steady win the race? I don't know. That leads me to my next negative point. There's just a lot of opportunity to fail here. And I personally think failure is great and totally fine. I have my moments where I struggle with failure.
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the allure of the "winter arc"
But overall, I would say my relationship to failure is pretty healthy. Is it perfect? No. But I would say I am pretty good at handling failure. However, even for the strongest of people, failure can be demoralizing And because the winter arc tends to be very challenging, there's a lot of rules, very strict rules.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
You have to be very, very disciplined and determined to successfully execute the winter arc. We're human, you know? We only have so much willpower. We only have so much determination. We only have so much discipline. We only have so much motivation. Like... there's a lot of room to fail.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And when you have a really, really challenging list of to-dos every single day for a long period of time, there's days when we're exhausted. There's days when we work really long hours and there are things that get in the way. And if you're somebody who struggles with failure, this might be an experience that actually sets you back.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
You know, failing at this might actually put you in a worse state of mind. It might send you into a worse place mentally. And last but not least, I think sometimes these rigid resets get in the way of enjoying life, specifically with the winter arc. Winter is winter, but it's also the holidays. The holidays are for food and family.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Now, the winter arc doesn't really mesh well with the season of food and family, okay? Because the winter arc is telling you to go to the gym and eat chicken breast, not hang out at your grandma's and eat her world-famous pecan pie, okay? That has an entire cup of sugar in just one slice. That's fucking delicious, by the way, and you should eat it. Again, ideally, we strike a balance here.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
We strike a balance. Like, I love the idea of the winter arc being like, yeah, for the majority of the winter, we're pushing, we're focused on this winter arc. But for fuck's sake, on the week of Thanksgiving, like, relax. You know what I'm saying? When your grandma comes to town and she's making pie every night, have a fucking slice of pie every night. Like, it's ridiculous.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
A lot of times I think we can all become obsessive about sticking to the fucking rules, you know, sticking to the rules. That can prevent you from experiencing life. There are times when we have to sacrifice things to... feel our best. There are times when sacrifice is necessary. I think sacrifice is what makes things mean something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
For example, if you're in a phase where you're bettering yourself, whatever, you might have to sacrifice nights out with your friends to staying in and going to bed early and working on your hobbies or reading a book or
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Getting work in late because you have this one project you really want to finish like but that's what then makes going out with your friends when that makes sense again all the more beautiful and enjoyable without sacrifice we wouldn't even enjoy these things we take these things for granted that's what gives them their power in a good way I think. It's the same thing with like eating healthy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
It should be very delicious. It should be very filling. It should be very satisfying. However, eating something that's technically, you know, not nutritious, but is fucking delicious, like, I don't know, a slice of pecan pie, that is so much more enjoyable when it's like a treat. Again, that's my point of sacrifice. It's like sometimes you have to sacrifice certain things.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And I know a lot of you are going to be like, Emma, that's toxic. I actually don't think so. As adults, I would argue, you know, it's kind of our job to be like, all right, we need to take good care of ourselves. We're our own responsibilities now. We need to sacrifice stuff sometimes to do the right thing for our health, mentally and physically. And I don't think it's restrictive either.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
It shouldn't be. Finding the balance between enjoying life and, you know, having discipline and it's tough. It's a fucking tough balance, you know? All of this to say, you know, I'm aware of the positives and the negatives. I kind of want to have a little winter arc.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Like I want to start January 1st kind of slaying, you know, like I'm down, but I'm going to make my own rules because one of the biggest issues with the concept of the winter arc or the concept of the 75 hard is that a lot of times the rules are predetermined online and I'm my own individual person. The rules for one person are not going to work for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
So I'm going to take it upon myself to make my own list of rules. Like, for example, I'm not going to put on my list that I'm going to journal for 10 minutes a day because you know what? I'm not in a phase of my life right now where journaling is necessary. There have been times in my life where journaling has been exactly what I needed. And it's been something that took a level of discipline.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
But once I got into it, I was like, you know, I knew I needed it. I needed a place to organize my thoughts. And so, you know, it was beautiful for me. But now, right now, in this moment, it's not something I need. I'm not going to put meditating on my list either because, again, it's very similar. There was a period of time in my life where I needed meditation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I needed to sit and meditate for 10 minutes a day. And it was really, really enjoyable for me. That's not something that I can integrate into my life right now. It's not the right time for me. And some people might disagree with that sort of belief. They're like, well, you should because everybody should be meditating.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Honestly, I agree, but I just know myself and I'm finding meditation through other activities right now, particularly exercise, and I'll get into that in my list. Yeah, long story short, even though there are some tempting things on other people's list of rules that I know I probably should do, Honestly, journaling and meditating are two of those things.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Like I wish that I was in a time in my life where those things worked for me because I do think that there's so much value in those things. But I'm also aware that they don't click with me in this phase of my life for whatever reason. And so I'm not just going to put them on my list to put them on my list. even something like training for a marathon. Okay. Yeah.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
It'd be great to run a marathon, but that's not something that feels inspiring to me. So I wanted to make this list of rules that kind of had a balance of like, okay, it's definitely going to be a bit challenging, but it's also going to be doable. And everything on the list ultimately sounds good to me. Like it doesn't sound grueling to a point where I'm like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
like I think about it and I'm dreading it. Like I don't feel a feeling of dread. I feel inspired by the list of rules. And I think if you do make your own list of rules for your winter arc, I would hope that you would do the same. Okay. Let's dig in to my rules for Emma's winter arc. I'm going to be showing up on January 1st with insane calves in insane traps. Just kidding.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Recently, there was the 75 hard, which was this internet challenge of like, spend the next 75 days following this set of strict rules on how to live your life healthy, disciplined, rigid, productive, whatever, and come out the other end a new version of yourself. If you fail, you have to start at day one again. That was the concept of 75 hard. Before that, there was the dopamine detox, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I've never been able to grow my calf muscle and I don't really know why. It just doesn't really show up. In fact, I've never really been able to grow really solid leg muscle in general. Like, I just feel like I'm always, I don't know, I'm lacking in that area. It's fine. I don't mind. It's not my, it's not a priority for me. Uh, let's begin Emma's winter arc rule.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Number one, go to bed before 11 PM. This is going to be challenging for me because recently I've been going to bed late. I had like a solid three years where I was going to bed actually at a really reasonable hour in waking up at a really reasonable hour for some reason in the last, I don't know, three to six months. Maybe I've just kind of fallen off.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I don't know why I've been going to bed later, uh, closer to like midnight, 1 a.m., waking up later at earliest, 8 a.m., at my worst, like 9.30, 10 a.m., which is to me, like I don't like that. I don't like that. Do I still get the same amount done in the day? Yeah, I do. Like it's fine. I just, I'm my own boss. So I work then later in the day. It's fine. But I don't like the feeling.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
It feels bad. So go to bed before 11 p.m., wake up at 7 a.m., I'm not trying to wake up at 5 a.m. I just don't need to do that. It's fine. I'm going to start with my goal being this. And then if it ends up being easy and I want to push it further, I can update the rules and maybe I'll start going to bed at 8 and waking up at 5. But probably not. Okay, number two, we have a very standard rule.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Okay, this is on like everybody's list. Read a minimum of 10 pages in a book a day. I was doing really good on the reading. I fell off. I will say, I haven't been spending the time that I would be reading doing things that are unhealthy, I wouldn't say. It's not like, well, I haven't been reading recently because I've been doom scrolling on my phone. Luckily... That's not really the problem.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I mean, yes, a portion of the time that I should be spending reading is spent with me on YouTube shorts, scrolling. Like that does happen occasionally, but I wouldn't say I'm doom scrolling on social media for hours and hours. Like I don't do that anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
It's not going to be an impossible feat to like stop going on YouTube Shorts when I'm like on the toilet for a long time or like laying in bed after a really long day where I worked a lot and I'm like tired and I'm like, you know what? I cannot use my brain anymore. I'm going to go on YouTube Shorts. Like, you know what I mean? I don't think I'm like abusing it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And then in addition, I feel like I've been spending the time that I would be reading, like either talking to people on the phone or just like working later, you know, just continuing to work until the evening instead of like being like, oh, it's 6 p.m. I'll be done and go read a bit of a book. Do you get what I mean? Like my work-life balance hasn't been great, I would say.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
So I've been prioritizing being productive work-wise over having time to like read a book. And it's been so exhausting. I think that by the end of it, I'm like, I can't use my brain to read a book. I'm going to go on YouTube Shorts or like call someone on the phone and just talk or whatever. But I do think reading is really important for me. And I really enjoy it when I'm in the swing of it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
So I'm just going to read 10 pages a day. That's it. Hopefully I'll read more than that, but 10 pages minimum. Number three, spend minimum 10 minutes a day on a hobby or interest. Again, this is another thing that I've been struggling with because I think it comes down to my work-life balance. And I know what you're thinking, Emma, you're an influencer. What even is your fucking job?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I understand. I get it. People get very annoyed about influencers, whatever, people online, people who are their own bosses. When people in that category are like, I've been working so hard. It's like, you're your own boss. Shut the fuck up. By the way, fully, yes, I understand. I agree. However, I'm my own worst enemy. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I'm my own boss in a way that is toxic at times where like I will overwork myself and it's my own fault. Like I give myself a lot of tasks and I feel immense shame and guilt when I don't complete all of them. And I feel like a failure to my boss and I am my own boss. It's just, it can get very toxic for me. And so I'm aware that I'm fully in control of it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
very similar, slightly different, basically avoiding dopaminergic activities, activities that release, I guess, happy chemicals in your brain. But I guess you can maybe become dependent on these activities that release more dopamine. And then, you know, you can lose your discipline to do activities that have delayed gratification, whatever. Okay. Fuck it. You get the idea. Do harder things.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And that's why this is on my list for my winter arc. I don't think it's good for my overall well-being and also for the sake of me being an interesting person to not be reading books and participating in some sort of hobby for at least 10 minutes each day. I think me just working all the time makes me boring. It makes me a not interesting person. And I'm in control of this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
So I need to get my shit together. Okay, moving on to number four. I have this bad habit that I've talked about before where I'll get into a routine of never existing in silence. I wake up in the morning, I make my coffee, and then while I'm cleaning up the kitchen, I am listening to a podcast. And then when I'm on my way to my workout class, I'm listening to a YouTube video.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And then when I get home and I'm working on my computer, depending on what the work is, if it's something that I don't need to be like focused on, I'm listening to a YouTube video. which sometimes, I mean, a lot of times I can't really do that, but I try, I will try to do that. When I'm on the toilet, I'm scrolling through YouTube shorts. When I'm in the shower, I'm listening to a YouTube video.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
If I'm going on a jog, I'm listening to a podcast. Like I'm always listening to someone talking. And it always happens like subconsciously, like it starts out not an issue where I'm like, oh, I'm good. I can have YouTube on my phone. You know, I can have podcasts on my phone. It's all good. And then I get addicted to it and I get addicted to constantly having noise in my ears.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And so my rule, rule number four is that I'm only allowed to listen to music. No listening to YouTube and podcasts all day long. Listen, if at the end of the day, I'm done with my work for the day, I'm done with everything for the day. Sometimes I just like to lay down and watch a bunch of music videos. Okay. Or I want to watch a video, a YouTube video, classic fucking YouTube video. Sue me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Or I'm with a loved one and we want to watch something together. You know, it's like, okay, relax. You know what I mean? It's all good. That's fine. But that is only if everything else for the day is done. I already did my reading and the day is over, then it's fine. But other than that, no.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And the reason why this is good is because there's a lot of things that I do every day that can be meditative for me if they're done in silence. Exercise, showering, cleaning, chores, all of these things can be meditative for me. Even fucking sitting on the toilet, as stupid as it sounds, if they're done with no noise.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
So in a weird way, this is sort of my meditation because I like to meditate throughout my day. I'm on the toilet. I close my eyes and think I'm doing chores. I'm in my head. I'm working through stuff or my brain's just empty, whatever. But like I'm working through stuff. I'm having a moment of blankness, you know, like whatever it may be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
But I can't have that if I have noise in my ears all day long. But it's kind of nice to have that sometimes because then I just don't have to think. I just have information going into my ears and it feels nice. But it's not good for not only my self-improvement, but also for my work because I need to be thinking about stuff all the time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
There's never a moment where there's something that I don't need to be thinking about, whether it's like, oh, podcast episode ideas. I'm coming up with podcast episodes, ideas constantly, which is fun and I enjoy doing it, but it's, you know, I do two a week.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
So it's like, I'm constantly thinking, thinking, thinking about, you know, what the next episode is going to be, what the next 10 episodes are going to be. Brainstorming ideas for like, oh, you know, this project I have coming up that I'm working on and blah, blah, blah. You know, like I'm like coming up with ideas for these things.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
When I sound in my ears all the time, I am not in that flow state as often, you know? Yeah. Okay. Rule number five, although this isn't an issue for me anymore, thank God by some miracle, I'm putting it on here anyway. No doom scrolling. I don't think I doom scroll anymore. I don't scroll on Instagram. I don't scroll on TikTok. I just don't do it anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Honestly, the two phone method for me has been unbelievably helpful. I don't have Instagram or TikTok on my phone. I obviously have my own sort of toxic relationship with YouTube and Spotify and all these things, which is not as toxic. I love these platforms. Well, Spotify also gives me music, but it's also where I listen to podcasts. So that's what I mean by Spotify, but mainly YouTube.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
YouTube is the thing that I still can have a toxic relationship with. However, it's never nearly as toxic as Instagram or TikTok. And I just can't scroll on those things anymore. Maybe a time will come in my life where it makes sense again, but I've found that it's bad for my brain. And I've kind of solved that problem.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Release less happy chemicals in your brain. Be better as a result of it. Follow these hard rules. Be a better person at the end of it. We've repackaged the winter arc a trillion times. I mean, I think actually the original concept of the winter arc was the New Year's resolution. You know, growing up in the 2010s, it was all about the New Year's resolution. Your mom is...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And it was by getting two phones and having one phone with only healthy apps on it, the good phone, and then having all the toxic apps on the bad phone for whenever I need it. I can just easily go over, everything's already logged in. We just post a little something on Instagram, maybe check in on a few things, what the friends have been posting, go ahead and like everything and then get out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
But it's on the list anyway, just for good measure. Rule number six, stick to the workout routine. I will say I am somebody who really loves exercise and honestly needs to exercise for my mental well-being. Like exercise really, really, really helps me as an anxious person. This is something that I already am good at prioritizing. However, I've been sort of in between routines.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Like I've been trying to figure out what I like doing for exercise recently because I go through phases where, you know, I had this like bootcamp class that I really enjoyed for a while there. And then I got to the point where I was like, you know, I actually don't really like lifting weights. I kind of got sick of it. So I was like, all right, I'm probably not going to do that anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Then I was trying at home workouts for a while and I was like, eh. Maybe this will work. And then I was running outside. Running is nice, but that's not enough. And so I've been going through all these different phases. Finally, I've figured out the workout routine that right now I really like. Run or speed walk minimum of two miles every day.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Now, this makes sense for me because I have a very sedentary job. I sit at a desk majority of the day or sit in my bed on my computer. I mean, it's like I actually am trying to sit in my bed less because I think it's getting to a point where like then I just feel like I'm bed rotting, but I'm actually being productive. So I've kind of had to stop working in bed as much.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
But yeah, I'm sitting a lot. So for me, going for a two mile jog or two mile speed walk every day, that's the bare minimum. I'm so sedentary. And I think every day is reasonable. I can get a two mile run done in 20 minutes. I can get, you know, a two mile speed walk done in like 35 maybe. And then if I feel like it, I can go for longer, whatever or not.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And then my favorite workout class right now, because I love workout classes. I love the community element of it. I love the fact that I'm being told what to do. I find that element really meditative. I can just follow instruction and then think about other stuff while I'm doing it. And I love when I'm getting an experience that I couldn't get at home, which a lot of times is the case.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
So I've been recently doing a lot of hot yoga and hot Pilates. Now, I know it's a controversial workout class, actually. I did research on it. And a lot of people are like working out in very hot environments. It's like it can be kind of bad for you. Like you can fuck with your electrolytes. in your body if you're not careful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And there's like no sign that it actually makes a workout more effective. I'm aware of all this stuff. I've read up, okay, on my favorite workout class. I just genuinely enjoy it. I genuinely enjoy it. And also I am prioritizing replenishing my electrolytes before, during, and after these classes. And I've felt good. Like these classes aren't wiping me out and making me feel sick.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I genuinely enjoy it. I love sweating, which is weird because I like hated hot environments growing up. But for some reason now I like really like it. I'm like acclimated to it and I enjoy it. Feels actually fucking horrible in the middle of it. But the feeling after is amazing. Also, there's something about sweating a lot that makes my body feel really calm. So I'm really enjoying that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I also love yoga and Pilates. I get the hype or whatever. We use like light to medium weights for this sort of yoga Pilates fusion stuff. Like it works for me. That's really all that fucking matters. I don't even care what I'm doing. I'm not like looking for any sort of result. I just know like exercise makes me feel good after.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And I just need to find something that I like enough while I'm doing it so that I'll stick to it. And then we have a happy medium. So right now, Call me a fucking Pilates princess. You know, hate me all you want, but I really enjoy these classes. So hot Pilates, hot yoga, minimum four days a week. I don't think that that's too much. I don't think it's too little. I think it's just right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
getting a pair of shape-ups for Christmas to help her get in shape for New Year's. But like we watched our parents do the New Year's resolution, set goals for themselves. But you get the idea. Like this is not a new concept. However, a new form of self-improvement has arrived in the form of the winter arc.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Next, number seven, instead of shopping or drinking on the weekends, although stay tuned for my next episode about drinking because I am not drinking anymore, but not by choice because I may or may not have an alcohol intolerance. Again, more on that next episode. uh, instead of shopping or drinking as I used to on the weekends, which sounds really honestly toxic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And it kind of was, but for a long time, my main activities on the weekend were like, okay, number one, I want to go shopping, go thrifting, go to the flea market, go to little boutiques. Like I love doing that. I can't tell you how many free weekends I've spent doing that. Okay. Shopping around. And then at night going and having glasses of wine. What a delight.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Well, I want to replace those things during the fucking winter arc with active activities and then having a delicious meal, okay? So instead of shopping and then drinking, doing active activities and then having a special meal. Because during the week, no eating out at restaurants. which is actually honestly easy for me. I don't eat out at restaurants during the week anymore anyway.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Like that's not a part of my routine right now. It has been before. I've had my phases of post-mating majority of my meals or going out to eat for majority of my meals. Not right now. But it's nice to have like a predetermined plan for what you're going to do on the weekends to enjoy yourself during something like a winter arc.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Because a lot of times, at least for me on the weekend, I'm like, it's time to lean into my vices. Let's fucking have fun. I grind it all week. Let's have fun. So instead of shopping and drinking, it's hiking, rock climbing. I just went rock climbing last weekend. Honestly, so fun. Really hard. Really hard. I was really, really bad at it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And I have long acrylic nails, which I might have to cut down now because I... actually really enjoyed rock climbing and I'd like to go again, but it's kind of impossible when you have really long nails. It's not impossible, but it makes it a lot harder.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
So anyway, rock climbing, maybe throw in an extra yoga class, an extra Pilates class, maybe try a different type of yoga class, a different type of Pilates, go on a run on a beautiful trail. Like there's the options are endless. Okay. But do some sort of outdoor activity. Go surfing. Maybe I could go surf with my dad. I wouldn't surf alone. I'm too scared.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
But if I'm visiting my dad or he's visiting me, maybe go surfing. Outdoor activities, physical activities, active activities. And then after that, try a new restaurant, go to an old favorite, have a fucking good meal. No alcohol, no drinking. And yes, in the winter arc, I will be ordering dessert. I can't help it. I think it's healthy to have balance.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Like it's not healthy to be like, no, no dessert for me ever. That doesn't end well. Next, number eight, be more present with my loved ones. Check in on people, spend quality time with people, et cetera. I wish I was better about this. I have a tendency to isolate myself. Not like completely, okay? I have my like very close circle.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And I'm going to talk about it as though it's its own thing and look at it with fresh eyes because I'll be honest. I saw the winter arc come up on my feed. I started to see things popping up about the winter arc. And I was like, I hate to be like a sheep, you know, and see everyone do this and be like, oh, I kind of want to do that. But also I kind of felt that. I'm kind of inspired by that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
But I'll even like neglect them in a way and like not spend quality time with them. Like my mom lives in Los Angeles now. I should be going to dinner with her at least once a week. One of those going out to dinner on the weekends should be with my mom. And I do see my mom. She comes to my house and we hang out. But we tend to do a lot of tasks together. She'll help me with something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Or every once in a while, I'll help her with something. But for the most part, she's helping me with stuff. And that's when we see each other. And that's something I want to improve upon. I want to spend more quality time with my loved ones. Or I'll call my dad on the phone and I'll talk about work-related stuff. Or my friends and I will go weeks without texting each other because we're busy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
It's stuff like that that I want to be better about. And then I put this on here as its own sort of thing. eating nutritious, healthy foods. But also it's key to mention that I also, I also am going to allow myself to have fun and it shall not become toxic because that can happen.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I think especially with exercise and eating nutritious, healthy food, whatever, it's like it starts as that and it can derail into something far more sinister. I can assume majority of us have been there, okay? I know I have. So these things are on there because I do not think that they're inherently unhealthy goals to have. I think they're great and it makes you feel good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And I'll be the first one to tell you that, but I'll also be the first one to tell you it can derail quickly. So there's an asterisk saying no toxic vibes allowed, okay? And then last but not least, don't just be nice on the outside, be nice on the inside too, okay? Be nice to myself and to others behind their back. Because here's the thing. I really work hard to be a good person, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And I think I do a pretty good job. Like I really try my best. I'm not perfect. I definitely make mistakes and I have a lot of flaws as well. But, you know, it's a priority for me to be good. However, behind closed doors, it's harder to regulate, right? Like to people's faces, I think I'm actually proud of myself now more than ever about how I treat people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I think I get better at treating people well every day. Like the older I get, the more kind I become. And I'm proud of that. However, I still am very mean to myself often. And I still think mean thoughts about people and talk shit about people within my close circle. I still do that. And do I think that there's value in that sometimes? Do I think it's inevitable sometimes? Yes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I think gossip to an extent is normal and healthy. It's how we learn from others. It's how we express our morals and beliefs to our close loved ones who are safe to discuss gossip with. Do I think being hard on yourself is sometimes a part of growth? Yes. Like all of these things are true, but I think I could be a bit better about it. I could maybe talk a little bit less shit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I could get a little bit less pissed off by other people's actions. I could pay a little bit less attention to what other people are doing. And I think I'm doing a good enough job, but I could be even better. And then last but not least, I mentioned this, like I'm somebody who tends to isolate a lot. And I would like to be more involved in my community and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
through charitable volunteer opportunities. There are so many in Los Angeles. I would love to do more of that. But like in person, it's one thing to like say donate money to a charity. That's great. That's helpful. But it's even more impactful to show up somewhere. I think for yourself, it's almost a selfish thing in a way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Like, I don't know. I like, I, it kind of gave me like a glimmer of hope. Like I felt a good feeling in my gut when I started seeing winter arc stuff, which is actually hilarious because if you were to look up winter arc on any social media platform, you'll see some of the weirdest content you've ever seen. Like videos of like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
The fulfillment that comes from being with community and helping others, that's the difference between, say, just like donating money versus donating time. I think when you donate your time, you actually get more in return in a lot of ways. I mean, I think money is helpful as well, of course, but it's just like you get something really tangible and beautiful out of helping people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And it's not, listen, helping others isn't about what you gain from it. That's not what I'm saying, but it's this added bonus of like, You get to have this beautiful, fulfilling experience, and that makes it all the more worth it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I'm making this distinction because I could come on here and say, I want to donate more money to charity this holiday season, but being like, no, I actually want to be present in being helpful because it's an even more beautiful experience. That's what I'm saying here. I hope I communicated that properly. Anyway, so that's my winter arc. We'll see if I stick to it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Um, it's 7 30 PM on a, uh, Thursday night, uh, for me right now. And I'm about to go make dinner and I would normally turn on a YouTube video and listen to the YouTube video while I make dinner. But tonight I'm going to be doing it in silence and I can't wait. Maybe I'll listen to music, but probably not. Anyway, let me know if you participate in the winter arc. I'm curious.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
When something goes completely viral, I end up finding out about it naturally. There's a lot of stuff I don't find out about until like six months later or whatever. Those are things that just didn't break through. They're just not big enough. They're just not viral enough. But you know what did break through? The concept of the winter arc, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Let me know what your rules are. The Instagram is at anything goes. Find anything goes anywhere you stream podcasts and new episodes every Thursday and Sunday. Find me. I'm Emma Chamberlain at Emma Chamberlain. And find my coffee company called Chamberlain Coffee. Yeah, pretty obviously named. My name's Emma Chamberlain. That's all I have. Thank you all for listening and hanging out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
It's always a joy and a pleasure. I love you all. I appreciate you all. And I will talk to you very soon.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
a lion walking in slow motion, like an AI generated video of a lion walking in slow motion. The clip is black and white. And then there's like a clip of some person talking, being like, you only have one life to live. You got to lock in right now. And it's like, has like echo and it's like super inspirational.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And then you have like a clip of like a dude who has like huge muscles, like doing a deadlift and then like screaming and then You have like, you know, a clip from Joe Rogan's podcast. And then it's just like, it's like a whole thing. But that's not all the content you'll see, okay? There's also like girls in their little Pilates outfit talking about like their routine. Like it varies, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And a lot of it is stuff that like I normally wouldn't be attracted to, you know? I wouldn't like see that and be like, no, this content's for me. I am seeing value here. I am tuning in. It's like very out of character for me to see this and, for the lack of a better term, fall victim to it. But here I am. I saw it and I was like, I'm intrigued.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
So let me tell you what the rules are of the winter arc. A lot of this is just standard stuff, okay? Go to bed early, wake up early. For some people, it's like go to bed at 8 p.m., wake up at fucking 4 a.m. For some people, it's more normal, like go to bed at 10, wake up at 6.37, like whatever. Get the sleep schedule in order, solid workout routine.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Definitely the workout routine element is big, okay? A lot of people have goals to walk and run more, which I think is somewhat valid because I think a lot of us are very sedentary these days. journaling up to two, three times a day. I've seen on some people's routines, meditating up to two, three times a day, reading books anywhere from like 10 minutes to an hour a day.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
A lot of people are following some sort of diet, cutting out soda, cutting out, you know, refined sugar, refined grains, whatever. Daily cold shower for some people, no sex for some people, which I'll never understand. Actually, no, I think a lot of people are saying no masturbating.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Like sex is fine, but no masturbating, which I think could probably make sense for some people who maybe masturbate a lot. So fair enough. You know, that makes sense for some people. But I was thinking about it. I was like, no sex.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Like, I feel like that's a very healthy thing we should all be doing when we feel like we want to, you know, like if we're, as long as we're being responsible and safe and Some people are shaving their head. A lot of the boys doing this are shaving the head.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
A lot of people are cutting off toxic people, like breaking up with their significant other, cutting off their friends that are holding them back, using to-do lists to organize schedule, and then either posting everything you do on social media and trying to build a following, or Or deleting everything and not ever posting again. So there's kind of like no in between. I've seen a mixture of both.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I already mentioned that I'm intrigued by the concept, which is actually very funny because when I think about it, I've been critical of other sort of self-improvement movements like this before. Like I've been somewhat vocal about not really liking New Year's resolutions. Feeling like if I'm going to do something, I'm just going to fucking do it. Like I'm not going to wait for the New Year.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And listen, you might not even know what the winter arc is, but I'm assuming that it's really viral because it broke through my algorithms. And to me, that's a sign of true virality. So what is the winter arc? You probably know because I'm assuming it's very viral. But just in case you don't know, the concept of the winter arc is... Hey, fuck New Year's resolutions.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And then I've gone back on that and been like, you know what? I actually see the value in it. Like it can be nice to have a start date or just like a defined time to reset. Like I actually do see value in that. So I've gone back and forth about that. I tried the dopamine detox when that was a thing. There were things about it that I thought were useful. I never tried the 75 hard.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I just never happened. So, you know, my opinions about these things have varied. So it's funny that with almost a sense of childlike wonder, I'm looking at the concept of the winter arc as though it's like brand new. Like I've never experienced, oh my God, what is this? Like, this is fun. What is this? But I kind of am. And it is sort of embarrassing, but at least I'm self-aware about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I'm aware of the positives and the negatives of the winter arc. To lean into my sense of childlike wonder, let's, as though we've never explored self-improvement movements before, let's analyze the concept of the winter arc. Let's break down the positives and the negatives because there's definitely a strong set of both. Let's start with the positives.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
As I just briefly mentioned, in general, I think it can be incredibly helpful and inspiring to to do an occasional reset. And I mean, lucky for us, the internet feeds us a new one every six to 12 months these days. But I actually do see value in it. And I know I've said in the past that I think it's ridiculous. And if you want to change something, you should just change it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I really used to strongly believe that. However, as I'm getting older... And my life is growing more busy and stressful and serious and emotionally exhausting because I think it kind of has a tendency to do that as you get older. Like as my life is growing more consequential, if you will, and it's still not even nearly as consequential as it will become. I am at the beginning of that journey.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
But even now, I'm seeing the value in a distinct reset in life. Like, oh, it's New Year's. You know what? This is a moment for me to pause everything and actually reset my goals, which I don't have the time and energy to do as much as I did when I was a teenager. And I was honestly not really doing that much with my time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I realize now that it's sort of a naive belief that if we have something we want to change in our lives, we should just get up and change it. Yeah, in theory, that's great. And I think at times we can do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
But sometimes we don't have the time or the energy to check in, to reset our goals, to figure out how we can be the most productive, disciplined versions of ourselves while maintaining balance. And like sometimes life sort of slips away from us in a way and we can fall into bad habits.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
We can prioritize our time incorrectly and spend too much time doing the wrong things and not enough time doing the right things. Like these things just happen. And a lot of times they can compound and compound until you get to a point where you're like, I don't even fucking know. Like I have no structure left. You know, I don't even know what a healthy version of my life looks like anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
My eating habits, my workout habits, my social habits, like everything is off. And it can be hard to motivate yourself to get your ass back in line when you have this huge list of things that have gone awry. It's like kind of beautiful to be like, you know what? I'm going to get everything back together and do the 75 hard challenge with my fellow internet users.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
We're starting early this year. Instead of the cold, dreary weather giving us an excuse to be lazy and irresponsible, we're using these months to, and I quote, lock in, okay? October 1st is the new January 1st. We're going to be getting into amazing shape physically, absolutely fucking shredded, bringing our dream calves to life. okay? Calves are popping, biceps, triceps, abdominals popping, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
You know, we're all going to do the 75 hard together. This will get my shit together and everyone else is doing it. Like I actually see the beauty in that. And I also think in general, structure, routine, goals, all of these things are very enjoyable and inspiring and productive for humans. Like in general, beyond just being like, oh, fuck, I need to reset.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
in general, just having structure and routine and rules and goals, like these things can actually be really nice to have in life. And a lot of times these sort of resets help give us that for a period of time. And there's something sort of weirdly freeing about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Like when you're following some sort of regimen and you're just kind of told what to do and all you got to do is show up and check off the boxes. There's something kind of nice about that. Now, specifically the winter arc, winter is very tough. Now I live in Los Angeles where winter could not be easier, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Out of every single place in America, I would say with not a lot of evidence, but enough evidence, I think Los Angeles is probably the easiest place to live during the winter. And even for me, it is really challenging. Like the time just changed. It's getting dark at like 5 p.m. I'm pale. I'm not getting vitamin D. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
The wintertime I think can also get really intense with work for a lot of people. Like there's always like a lot of work to do for some reason in the winter. It's hard. Unless you live in Los Angeles with me, it's probably harder for you than it is for me. And even I know how hard the wintertime is. Okay. And so I think the idea of having a distinct goal is
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
for the winter is actually very helpful because it's really easy to just lose all motivation, all hope. It's cold, it's dark, there's a lot of work to do. It's very hard to be disciplined in those conditions. So having something to distract from the sort of hopelessness that oftentimes winter brings,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And even a lot of mental health challenges that come with the wintertime, like scientifically as a result of the season, it can be really nice to, I don't know, like have goals to help you push through those challenges. Maybe the winter arc can save me. Okay. Maybe, you know, that's kind of a hopeful idea. Also the habits in these self-improvement movements are, are always healthy and positive.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
Can they turn unhealthy and positive? Of course. But we're not there yet. We're talking about the positives right now. All of these things are good. Exercise, meditating, journaling, like all of these things are undoubtedly things that improve your quality of life. And then last but not least, I think it's kind of cool that the whole internet will hop on a sort of trend like this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
There's something kind of fun and communal and exciting about it. I mean, obviously, ideally, we could do this type of stuff with people in person. But if not, you know, there's a community online doing it. And there's something very beautiful about that. We love community as human beings. Okay, it's fun. Now let's discuss the negatives. A lot of times the rules are very strict and unsustainable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
I would say some would argue, and honestly, I might even argue, I don't know, that that's the whole point. You're challenging yourself for a period of time, proving to yourself that you can do it. And then from there, picking and choosing what habits you want to keep and which things you want to be more lenient on for a more realistic sort of lifestyle. okay, that's a really idyllic idea.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
You know, like that, that sounds beautiful. That sounds awesome. However, that's not guaranteed depending on who you are and how challenging the experience was for you. You might do, you know, this sort of winter arc challenge and then come out the other side of it and be like, I'm fucking treating myself, you know, and then you sort of slack and then you end up where you started again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
And it's like, well, what was the point of all that hard work just to go back to what you were doing before? And that happens for a lot of people. I think it depends on what type of personality you have and I don't know how particularly challenging the challenge was for you and how much you enjoyed it, right? Like if you fucking hate journaling and meditating and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the allure of the "winter arc"
and doing CrossFit, then following those rules, like you probably shouldn't have followed that set of rules. Now you're definitely not going to stick to it. And when the X amount of time ends, you're not going to want to maintain any of those habits. You're just going to want to go back to what you were doing before and you end up back at square one and you didn't gain anything from it in the end.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
You want to know what just absolutely terrifies me, keeps me up at night, and then when I finally fall asleep, fuels my nightmares? Let me tell you about the permanence of the internet. This is a reality of life that I contemplate multiple times a day. And not in like a sort of beautiful, introspective way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I've also spent an equal amount of time fearing rumors, fearing people telling stories that are false for the sake of Who knows, you know, like going viral or like who or just to like character assassinate me because, you know, for whatever reason, someone doesn't like me. This is something that in the age of the Internet, because of the permanence of the Internet, can truly ruin your life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Like I genuinely live in fear of a well-crafted rumor. Because I remember there was like a story made by someone who actually did go to school with me. That was true. This girl who went to school with me basically posted a TikTok telling a completely fabricated story about me and my interactions with her. completely fabricated. Okay. In fact, me and this girl were always cool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And I'm not just saying that, like, if I fucked up and I like was a complete bitch to this girl, I would fully, fully sit here right now and say, you know, that was a dark moment in my, in my life. I was, you know, 14, 15 years old, probably 15 at that time. I, you know, was going through this. I was going through that. I was an asshole and I treated this girl like shit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And now I have to live with that memory forever. Like I would just say that. And that would be the story that, but, and trust me, there are definitely some things I did in high school that I'm not proud of. I don't necessarily remember all of them, but I bet, you know, people could remind me of those things and I would regret them and be apologetic of them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I'm all about, you know, taking responsibility and shit. Don't get me wrong. However, if I didn't do something, I'm not going to take responsibility for it because I didn't fucking do it. This is a great example of that. This girl came up with this whole story about basically me being a total bitch to her and fabricated this entire story that I know for a fact was not true.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And anybody who knew me in high school would be like, Emma didn't do that. Emma probably made some other mistakes, but Emma definitely didn't do that. Like it was just completely out of character and like evil in a way that I've never been in my life, even at my darkest moments.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And that was really, really upsetting to me because I was reading the comments of people being like, oh my God, I can't believe she would do that. I always knew she was a mean girl, all this shit. And it's like, my entire character is being judged right now based on a complete lie that is now going to be permanently on the internet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Like I can sit here and deny, I didn't even address it or deny it or do anything because I was like, that will only bring more attention to this. And this is not true. This is not true. So I don't want to talk about it and bring more attention to it because it's not real. You know, like I don't even know how to, how to handle, I'm just going to ignore it, I guess.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But it was really upsetting to me because I was like, this is now something that when people Google me, it might come up this story that is completely false.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And now this is something that I am going to be tied to for the rest of my life instead of the actual memories of me in high school that are true, who I really was, which I was definitely not a perfect person in high school, but I was not mean like that. I'm sorry, I just wasn't, okay? Like I wasn't, like, no, that is ridiculous.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And it's completely just a fabricated story for character assassination. That is the truth. But again, like there are people who saw that video back then and that story became permanent in their mind. You know, in that way, the internet is permanent. But then also it's permanent because that video is probably still up. And if somebody wanted to go find it, you know, they could.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And in that way, it's permanent. And that has also really bothered me. You know, a lot of the controversies that I've been in in my career were actually based on false narratives, a decent portion of them. You know, there have been things that I've said that I've gotten called out for that, like I have genuinely said, fair enough.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But there's also been so many false narratives as well that people now forever will remember. People fully think that I did things that I did not do because these narratives become permanent through the internet. And it fucks with me. It really fucks with me. And another thing that fucks with me is sort of how my past phases in life though harmless, right? Yeah, they're harmless, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Like when I was a cringe sort of 16-year-old or when I had really bad acne when I was like 18 or 19. Every little phase in my life has been documented. Now, I must also add voluntarily, okay, I posted all of this of myself. I'm not sitting here saying like, oh my God, it's all permanent. And like, I didn't even want that. No, I posted it. You know what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
So it is absolutely, you know, this is something I did to myself and I am fully aware of that. But at the same time, even though I have no regrets and I think it's absolutely worth it, I definitely struggle with constantly being reminded of past phases of my life. I mean, in theory, could I delete my past? I could, but like, that's sort of the dilemma.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I'm also like, I don't want to delete my past. Like it was my past. And also, you know, there are people who still find entertainment or value in these, these past moments of my life. Right. So like, I don't want to delete it. Also, even if I did, there's everything I've ever done is reposted somewhere. There's documentation of it beyond my own. So like, it's, I'm in a
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Some people could delete all their social media, start fresh, whatever. And there's no sort of documentation of their past. Once they delete it, it's gone. So there is sort of a feeling of control there. Is everything ever truly gone? No. And some things are posted by other people and those things are permanently posted and you can't hack into their account and delete the stuff.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But I will say I'm experiencing an extreme level of permanence on the internet. It's exhausting in a way because it's like, again, like I've worked so hard to build the person that I am today. And I don't necessarily want to be judged by who I was. A year ago, three years ago, five years ago, like that's something I really struggle with because there are moments when I was really annoyed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Find Wellness at Westin, one of the 30 extraordinary hotel brands in the Marriott Bonvoy portfolio. Now back to the episode. I'm like, I have like a tight chest. Okay. Just talking about this topic. But I also think I have a tight chest because I was around people this weekend who were vaping and I was like, I'm obviously going to hit that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
There are moments when I did something embarrassing. A great example would be my fucking Streamy's award speech acceptance speech when I won a Streamy award in like 2019 or something. And the speech went viral because it was so cringe. That was absolutely fucking horrible for me. And it still gets brought up and people still show me the video and I still have to see it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And it's absolutely horrible. And I'm wearing a hideous outfit and I look hideous and the speech is fucking cringe. The whole thing is a mess. And I... see that video like once a month, probably. It comes up somewhere. I see it somewhere. And like how beautiful it would be if that was just a memory that we all had. You know what I mean? A memory that we all had.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
It wouldn't be nearly as cringe if it was just a memory. You know what I'm saying? But it's cringe because it's this video and it's permanent. And that is really challenging. But also like, periods when I've looked bad, you know, and I know that this is like vain and I am probably more vain than I think people would think I was, which is perhaps in a whole episode of its own.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I seem like I don't care. And many people are like, Emma just doesn't care. She posts and she looks ugly and she doesn't care. That's true. Listen, at any given moment, I look the way I'm going to look and like I'm never going to necessarily hide it. I'm never going to hide. Right. Because it's the reality. But that doesn't mean I'm not unhappy with the way that I look or something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
You know what I'm saying? So like now phases when I feel like I didn't look good, like those are permanent as well. Phases when I've had really, really severe acne or, you know, I've been unhealthy in one way or another. And I look like shit as a result. You know, like these are moments of my life that are permanent.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I am reminded of those phases constantly because they're documented and seemingly sort of permanent. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Squarespace.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
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And Squarespace payments makes it easy to take all kinds of payments, including Apple Pay, Klarna, and more. Get started with a free trial at squarespace.com and use squarespace.com slash Emma for 10% off your first website or domain. Now let's get back to the episode. The phase that I'm struggling with the most right now is my most recent sort of phase that took place over the last few years.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
So I vaped a lot this weekend after a long time of not really vaping. And so I think my chest is a little bit tight because of that as well. I'm also feeling a little weird, I think, because I'm probably withdrawing a little bit from nicotine. So if my vibe is like off, it's because I'm kind of dissociating from nicotine withdrawals. And I feel weird.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Where I kind of had this like serious sort of artsy to some maybe even pretentious sort of philosophical. Although some people would say that that is just I can't even call myself philosophical, even though technically anyone can be philosophical. So that's rude. But, you know, now I had this phase, I think, for a number of reasons. I really want to dig into this phase, honestly.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I feel like I need to discuss it. I feel like it'll be sort of cathartic for me because it directly relates to the topic of this episode, the permanence of the internet. This phase of my life is permanent. And right now, it's really, really bothering me. So let's just discuss it, okay? It was sort of this artsy, sort of pretentious, sort of philosophical sort of phase.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Now, it was not... I didn't mean for it to be... cringe or pretentious. My intention was never bad. I also wasn't necessarily trying to be cool or something necessarily. It wasn't even that. I think it was a combination of a few things. Number one, what I mentioned earlier, me being so afraid of showing my personality.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
That I completely had a mental block when it came to like showing myself or, you know, I've always been a bit edgy with the shit that I talk about. I've always taken risks with what I talk about and I've always received criticism for that to a certain extent. It's not everyone's cup of tea, understandably so. All good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But when cancel culture sort of became more of a thing, I just became more and more afraid to the point where I was like, I don't even want to make a joke. Like I remember I used to like, I don't know, like fucking start writing an Instagram caption and it was like funny.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And then I was like, I can't, I'm too scared to be funny because I'm too scared that being remotely funny will somehow get me canceled. So I would just delete the caption and post the photo with no caption. You know, that was the vibe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Or like I would be editing a YouTube video and I'd say like one funny thing and I'd be like, I'm too scared that, you know, because being to be funny is to be edgy a bit a lot of times. Right. So I just completely couldn't show the side of myself anymore. I was way too afraid. So I was like, well, I need to show something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
So I showed myself sort of depressed and sort of in the middle of this mental block, having this sort of existential crisis, rethinking everything. Thinking really philosophically about everything. Because that's truly what was going on in my head. So there was that. But then I also think, too, that I was experiencing a bit of a...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
a creative growth period, if you will, where I was trying to figure out like, all right, what's the next step in my career, right? Like I've been vlogging my life. I've been, you know, talking about my life very intimately and very vulnerably for a long time. And
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I want to maintain a decent amount of that, but I also can't really do this anymore because my career and my level of, um, fame in a way, even though I'm not that famous, but like my level of fame, even, even to the, you know, maybe smaller level that it's at compared to say like fucking, I don't know, Jennifer Aniston.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Like, I don't know, but like, I'm not a fucking, I'm not super famous, but I'm famous enough that like, I have to do things differently now. I was kind of in a phase where I'm like, what do I do next? And part of me was like, well, maybe I should make things feel a bit more meaningful. Maybe I need to... add a bit more depth to what I'm putting out there, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Instead of just talking about like mundane shit, instead of showing mundane shit, maybe I share things that are a bit more potent, a bit more deep, a bit more whatever, like maybe share that side of myself. And I think to an extent that was good. Like I actually think that there was some beauty to that. And I think I enjoyed that a lot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Like my brain and body equilibrium is very off. Would I love to hit a vape right now? Yes. But no, I don't own vapes anymore. I only hit other people's. Anyways, I will say, I do think that I am more significantly affected by this reality of life, the permanence of the internet, than the average person because my entire life and my entire career is on the internet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And I think it was exciting to show like a deeper side of myself. But at the same time, I think it became like all I did. And then I wasn't showing any of my humor or like my lighthearted personality. And that I don't think is good because I think honestly, my strong suit is a balance. You know, and I think it was almost like an overcorrection.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
It was like, I became too like deep and like, like, look at how beautiful, like everything became too deep, too artsy. Like it, it, I was trying to infuse meaning into my internet output and also simultaneously, you know, protect a bit more of my privacy. And in a lot of ways, again, you know, there was a lot of positive there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Like I did end up showing a different side of myself that was actually truly genuine to me. And but then through doing that, I like lost touch with my sense of humor and like my edginess. I don't know. Like I lost my edge a bit. I mean, listen, I can't like I don't know. Everybody had a different opinion and everyone does have a different opinion. So I can't speak for everybody.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And I also try not to. read too much or see too much of what people think or else I have a meltdown. But I do think that, you know, there are people who are like, where did you go? Emma, where are you? And understandably so. Right. Because even though I was still there, it was I wasn't all there and I wasn't in the best place. Like things weren't working out. They weren't working.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
They simply weren't working. And it came off as pretentious. It came off as like, why is Emma talking about like philosophical topics? She's like an idiot podcaster, which by the way, I think is completely an unfair criticism. Even if you thought that phase of my podcast or YouTube or whatever was cringe or pretentious or whatever, or even if you think that I'm not smart enough to be talking about
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I can everyone has the right to give their opinion on whatever they want, you know, or to discuss, you know, whatever they want. I think if I did maybe go wrong, it was because I was accidentally maybe speaking from a place of like, let me teach you about this. And that's a mistake. If I whenever I did that, if at any point I did that, that's a mistake.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But to simply talk about things that are philosophical is to be human. I don't think we can. We should not ever take that right away from anyone. I'm not a fucking philosophy major. I'm discovering it. Having my own sort of philosophical epiphanies on my own and doing so in a way that's normal. You know what I'm saying? And I'm not claiming to be some sort of philosopher.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I'm just like discussing what I've been thinking about. On my own timeline as I'm discovering it. And if it's later than you, it's later than you, you know, whatever. But I definitely received a good amount of criticism during this sort of transitionary period of my career where, you know, I just couldn't quite get into rhythm with with things in the audience and you all. felt that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Some of you maybe felt that, but were like, okay with it and didn't mind it or whatever. Some of you fucking hated it and hated me and whatever. It's one of those phases that I cringe at, but also you all cringed. A lot of you, not all of you, but a chunk of you also cringed at. And I'm not going to go back and delete it. I'm Because, again, I don't want to erase history.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I don't want to erase history. I want to. I do, but I'm conflicted. I don't know. Like, I would love for it to disappear, right? But I'd love if it just never happened. But it did. And so because of that, I have to just own it and live with it and be like, this is permanent. But it's challenging. And, you know, to sort of wrap up that whole story, I recently, within the last, I don't know,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
year, slowly but surely realized I had it all wrong. Number one, I cannot live in fear of the permanence of the internet. I cannot live in fear because not only does it make me completely miserable, but it also, it causes my career to suffer. And my creativity to suffer, it completely gets in the way of me living a fulfilling life. It's completely detrimental for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But also my sort of desire to instill more meaning and depth into, you know, the content I put out on the Internet. That was also sort of irrational. To continue to evolve my career and take things to the next level, I don't actually need to instill more depth into things. That was a miscalculation. That was a hypothesis that ended up not being true.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
However, I do think that this is a concern for people in the 21st century, okay? I think my feelings towards it are a bit more extreme, but I actually do think that this is a concern for everyone because it is just a current truth. This is just something that, like, the internet is permanent. That can be good and that can be bad. Do you know what I'm saying? For everyone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
In fact, by doing that, I think I ended up removing meaning from what I was doing. But it was something I had to try. And it's something I have to accept. That's a phase of my career that I have to accept. And is it all bad? No. And is it even really that bad? No. No, it's not. And there were some people out there who actually enjoyed this phase that now I cringe at so.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But now I realize through that phase that I'm cringing at now, that number one, I can't live in fear. And number two, I don't need to instill meaning in things. I just need to be entertaining and I just need to be honest and I just need to be myself. And that it doesn't need to be deep. It doesn't need to be artsy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
It doesn't need to be, it doesn't, if I want it to be philosophical because I'm having a philosophical moment in my life, sure, it can be philosophical. But like, if I'm seeing beauty in a way and I want to share it with the world, I can share. But like, I don't need to do that in order for what I do on the internet to be meaningful. You know, like things can be more mundane.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
They can be more surface level. They can be more funny. They can be more chill and they can still provide value to people. Like that was something I was having a hard time grasping. It's like, Can I provide value to people if things are surface level? If things are silly? If things are mundane? Like, how do I level up if not to infuse more depth into things? Anyway, it was just a miscalculation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And now... I'm in this sort of bittersweet position where, on one hand, I'm so grateful for this phase of experimentation and fear and difficulty because without that, I wouldn't be where I'm at today, which is at an incredible place. where I now feel more inspired than I have in a really long time. And I'm feeling more myself than I have in a really long time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And I'm feeling like, you know, I have a plan for my career and an internet output that's sustainable. That's something that I could actually continue to do for years to come where I'm not going to hit burnout. I'm not going to psych myself out or get, you know, experience burnout. you know, sort of a mental block. Again, I'm stronger than ever. I'm more inspired than ever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I'm more myself than ever. Things are great right now. Unfortunately, to get here, I had to go through that little rough patch that was a little cringe, that was a little pretentious, that was whatever. I'm grateful for that time. But at the same time, because it's permanent due to the internet, I'm also sort of tortured by it and I'm mortified by it. I want to move on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
No, I contemplate this reality of life multiple times a day in fear, in a panic, overcome with anxiety. Okay, I am tortured by the permanence of the internet. Tortured. And it's kind of funny because... I am as tortured by the permanence of the internet as I am because of my own voluntary actions. Okay, I made the decision to post the last seven years of my life on the internet. I did that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I'm excited that I'm in a better place now. But on a daily basis, I'm reminded of that phase. And I could delete it. But I also feel like deleting it's even worse. Like, I don't want to erase my past. I don't want to erase these phases. And these phases also weren't necessarily hated by everyone, right? There are actually people who enjoyed this phase, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
It was a smaller group of people than the group of people who have enjoyed other phases of my career and life, right? But there was a group of people that enjoyed that phase. And it's like, do I want to take that away from those people? Ugh.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But, you know, I'm at a point where I'm like, all right, I'm really trying to sort of develop a healthy relationship with this reality, the reality of the permanence of the Internet. I'm really trying to like... Yeah. If, you know, something of me from 10 years ago comes out of, like, me being an asshole or, like, me, like, pooping on someone's front lawn, I never did that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
More so for people who, you know, have a career on the internet, who have shared a lot of their life on the internet, but still so for people who have not. It's sort of terrifying for everyone. I think because I'm somebody who's shared majority of my life on the internet, I look at a time prior to the Internet where everyone could sort of just evolve and grow as a person in the real world.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I did pee on someone's front lawn once, but I never pooped. So, anyways. But, like, if a video of me peeing on someone's fucking front lawn in high school after a party when I was drunk, like... if that video comes out, you know, it's like, or worse, like who knows, you know, it's like, I have to accept the fact that like that could happen. And that's just sort of the name of the game.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And that's just the reality of, of today. And also, you know, use the permanence of the internet to inspire me to only be a better person, but not to the point where I'm obsessing over it. And I'm a perfectionist and I'm like completely, you know, unforgiving of myself if I make a mistake because I'm like, Emma, you have no room to make a mistake. Everything is permanent on the internet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I'm trying to find balance and peace in it, but it's challenging. It's challenging for me. And I also think it's challenging for society, even though I have my own unique sort of relationship to it that has its own sort of unique set of difficulties. I really do believe that this is something that is impacting society as a whole, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Like, I don't think just public figures are impacted by this, right? I will say, these are all sort of hypotheses, right? Like, I don't know for sure if the permanence of the internet has impacted society, but I mean, I'm pretty sure it has. I have some examples of how I think it's impacted society.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
For one, I think partying and clubbing and going out and socializing has really, really deeply been impacted by the permanence of the internet. I feel like people are really afraid of... Not everyone, okay? But I know of people who are really afraid of really like letting loose because nowadays there's a chance you might be filmed and you might go viral on the internet if you let too loose, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And there is something sort of beautiful about being able to like go to a bar and like go crazy and dance and live in the moment and it not be documented, right? Now, I'm not saying like partying is no fun anymore because it used to be like morally wrong things could happen at the party and nobody would find out. That's not what I'm fucking saying.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I'm even just saying like being – like going out and drinking and dancing and being in the moment like that is something that is actually very vulnerable. And it's something that like in the moment feels so magical. But if you were to film it and take it outside of that moment, it is actually like – ooh, it's not supposed to be taken outside at the moment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But now because of the internet, it oftentimes is. And I really do think that it's negatively impacted the club party scene. And I've seen quite a few articles pop up over the last few years about how, you know, Gen Z's not drinking, which I actually think is a great thing. You don't need a drink to have fun, although it does help sometimes. But I'm sober and I've been sober since October of 2024.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I haven't had one drink. Okay. So I know a thing or two about sobriety. Yeah. I mean, I'm still hitting the vape, but I here and there. But the alcohol, no. But anyway, Gen Z is not drinking as much. A lot of clubs are shutting down. Just my own experience in LA. When I first moved here, there were so many parties and there was such an energy. But maybe it was my perception.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But I really do feel like, I don't know, the party vibe, the club vibe, the bar vibe in LA has really lost its sparkle. And I've talked to a lot of people... who also live in LA and been like, has it kind of lost its sparkle? And there's a lot of people who agree with me. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I think that truly going out and socializing and enjoying the moment is a bit harder now because there is a risk that somebody could film you or that you're in the back of somebody's video. I don't know. It ruins the feeling of complete freedom that I think going out used to give people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
It's like at the end of the week where you're being watched by your boss or being watched by your teacher or you have to turn things in on time and there's all these rules. There was something so beautiful about being able to go out and be social and be free. Nobody's watching. Nobody's paying attention. You know, you just get to kind of let loose.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And everyone was judged based on who they were within their close knit community. And obviously, there's always been celebrities and public figures who have, you know, been judged on a larger scale. But even those people couldn't like go on Instagram and read their comments. Like there's something sort of beautiful about the fact that, I don't know, like the past was the past.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And now it's like, wait, we don't get to let loose because we're constantly at risk of being filmed or being this or being that. And it's like, if you want to fucking take body shots off of somebody, you can't just do that. Now it's like probably going to be filmed. You can't just like, I don't know, chain smoke 10 cigarettes outside of the bar because somebody might take,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
photos of you and be like, look at this fucking freak who just smoked 10 cigarettes in one sitting. And it's like posted on TikTok with that caption. And then it gets 30,000 likes. And then it's like, wait, I was just chain smoking my cigarettes because it's the fucking weekend. Why are you, you know what I'm saying? I don't know. It's just not the same.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Maybe I'm just feeling that way because I'm growing up. And that could be truly the case. It could be just my perception. But I've seen and heard too many things that corroborate this hypothesis. So I don't know. I want to vape so bad. I'm fiending for the vape a little bit because I was doing so good. I was doing so good. And then I really just hit it a lot this weekend.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I was just... Everybody around me seemed to have a vape. And it was just like vape after vape after vape. It was absolutely delicious. But I am really paying the price right now because I'm really craving it. And... Yeah, it sucks. OK, moving on. Sorry. I also think, too, that the permanence of the Internet has sort of created a new societal weapon, a lethal one at that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
The permanence of the Internet really it has become a weapon to assassinate character. You can turn the internet against an individual in a way that is truly like being fucking stoned in the town square. It is like being crucified. And I know that that's extreme, but it genuinely is that extreme. Like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
If you're an average person and all of a sudden somebody posts something about you that's negative on the internet and it goes viral because it's like a viral story, the feelings that that will bring up in a person, it's dangerous. It's really dangerous. It's terrifying. And there are absolutely people out there who get off on just destroying people's lives through the internet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And I think that this has ruined more people's lives than we even remember. And that is not good for society. That is not good for humanity, I don't think. The fact that people's mistakes can be used against them on the internet, I don't know. It's to me dangerous. Which leads me to like my next sort of point.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I mean, I think young people are afraid these days of truly experimenting and making mistakes in life, which is crucial for growth. The repercussions of experimenting in life are now unproportionately severe because of the internet. Like if these things make it onto the internet, the repercussions can now be worldly. Are they always? No. But there's a chance.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And the mere chance of it, I think, really, I'm hypothesizing, really severely psychologically impacts young people especially. Which I think, you know...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
is creating an anxious, isolated, depressed generation of young people, which is another thing that I've been seeing articles about for years now, how Gen Z is the most anxious, how Gen Z is the most isolated, how there's a friendship epidemic, like no one has friends. Gen Z is depressed. We've all seen these articles. And I think the permanence of the internet, weirdly, is a part of that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And last but not least, I think the permanence of the internet creates some unfavorable qualities in society as a whole. Not every single individual, but creates... an increase in numbers of people who have certain unfavorable qualities, such as perfectionism, such as vanity, narcissism. In the physical world, your being feels much less significant.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Like people were just allowed to sort of move through phases so much more naturally. Whereas now we have access naturally. to people's history. We can directly see and relive someone's past whenever we want, as long as it's on the internet. And for a lot of us, it is on the internet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I don't know how to explain this, but think about yourself in the real world, and then think about yourself on the internet, if you're somebody who posts yourself on the internet. Your being, okay, your being, like you as a human being in the real world feels much less significant because you're surrounded by other people. You're surrounded by experience.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
You're surrounded by so many things that are bigger than yourself. There's something about the internet and how we perceive ourselves on the internet. where we feel like the center of the universe. It's almost like our profile is the center of the universe and everything else around it is just, you know, details in a way, you know? And like, it's just, it's a different way of perceiving oneself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And yet we perceive ourselves in real life and we perceive ourselves online. And I think now that our realities are so intertwined with the internet and a decent portion of us nowadays perceive ourselves mainly through the internet, it's leading a large portion of us to develop perfectionism, develop narcissism. to be vain.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
A lot of us who wouldn't normally be that way, like we aren't that by nature. There are some who are like that by nature, but I think the internet and specifically the permanence of the internet brings out these characteristics because everybody's aware of how once something's on the internet, in some ways it's sort of permanent.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But also, when people look at things on the internet, whether it's the past or the present, everything when being perceived on the internet sort of feels like the present in that moment. You know what I mean? When you're looking at it. I think it explains why people are so obsessed with looking perfect, right? Face-tuning things. Sometimes...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
FaceTiming to oblivion to the point where it's like, where did their nose go? They smoothed their face so much the nose disappeared. This is kind of ridiculous. Getting arguably unnecessary procedures done to have sort of unnatural features almost that look good on social media. but actually don't even look good in real life, but look good on social media.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But it's like in like real life almost matters less because the internet's more permanent. So as long as it looks good on the internet, which is permanent, then who really cares what's happening in real life? If your lips are so big, you like can't talk properly. It's like, it doesn't really matter because it looks really good on Instagram and Instagram is permanent.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And so it's all about like looking perfect because that is what is permanent because of the internet. I think people are also obsessed with sort of curating a perfect looking life on the internet. Because again, having an actual perfect life, who cares? Number one, it doesn't exist. But number two, it's like, who cares? Because that's not as permanent. The internet is permanent.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
So there's this pressure to sort of show everyone this perfect life. And a lot of times that actually ends up just kind of actually destroying quality of life. I don't think that that adds to quality of life at all. I think it a lot of times is actually quite a negative thing. And I really think this just leads to to narcissism.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Instead of it just being this distant memory or something that only our close friends and family knew about, or you know what I'm saying? For a lot of us, Our entire past is completely documented. It's completely cemented in history in a way, in a way that is so accurate because of the internet. And there's something so much more powerful about that that really freaks me out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I'm not saying that the Internet turns people into narcissists, but I'm saying it it causes people to develop narcissistic traits, I think. The permanence of the internet feels so severe that I think it tricks people into thinking that they're more important than they are. They're the center of the universe because this, does that make sense? I don't even know what I'm fucking saying anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Okay, like what did I even just talk about for the last however long I've been talking? I don't even know what the fuck I just talked about. I'm going to wrap it up, okay? I'm going to wrap it up. I'm going to give a positive conclusion because I think otherwise this is a little bit too depressing. Here's the deal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
In conclusion, I think the internet, though it has elements that are complex and arguably damaging to society... The internet also is an incredible thing. And with all good, there's bad. And this is just part of the bad. And I really hope that over time, as a society, we're going to get better at managing this sort of challenging element of the internet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Because I think we all know that the internet's not going anywhere. And also, we don't want it to go anywhere. There's a lot about the internet that is incredible. So I really do believe that over time, we're going to get better at managing the negative elements of the internet. And I even feel like I'm getting better at it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
You know, as I mentioned earlier, I spent many years struggling with the permanence of the Internet. It really, really bothered me. And it led me to sort of a cringe phase that ironically became permanent, that I ironically ended up cringing more at later. But living in fear and letting it get in my way negatively impacted me to the point that I ended up coming out the other end fearless again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And I think, and I hope that other people will experience this as well. And hopefully in an ideal world, the permanence of the internet will actually force us to accept ourselves for our mistakes, for our shortcomings. And we'll hopefully one day, instead of just canceling each other immediately, unless, listen, if you do something bad enough, okay, I'm always like, I get it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Okay, sometimes we have to cancel. I kind of get it. But it's also like, a lot of times we're canceling, we shouldn't be. I really do hope that One day it will hold us accountable in a way that's like genuinely beneficial to the person and to the world. Right. And I see a future where that happens. I really do think that this could turn around and be a positive thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Anyway, that's all I have for today. Thank you all for listening to this episode. If you enjoyed it, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. You can watch video on Spotify and YouTube and you can listen anywhere you stream podcasts. Find Anything Goes on social media at Anything Goes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Find me on social media at Emma Chamberlain and find my wonderful coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee. at chamberlandcoffee.com or perhaps in a store in New York or perhaps at our cafe in Los Angeles. That's all I have for today. I'm really just fiending for a vape. I just am absolutely having nicotine withdrawals right now and I'm completely spaced out and I feel weird.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But actually talking to you all today really brought me back to earth and made me forget. Actually, I didn't forget. I did not forget about my nicotine withdrawals at all. I brought them up multiple times. Anyway, that's it. That's it. That's all I have to talk about. I love you all. I appreciate you all. I enjoy the time that we spend together. It is always, always, always a treat and a joy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And I'll talk to you in a few days. Okay. Bye. Bye. Love you. Bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Prior to the internet, there was no fear of your mistakes being broadcasted to the world stage. Worst case scenario, you know, your family and friends and community find out about a mistake you made. But these are all people who know you. They know your character. They might, at worst, exile you in some sort of way. But technically, you can leave that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
You can get in your car and drive five hours and move to a city five hours away and start over fresh. And none of those people will know about your past. You know what I'm saying? The idea that you could make a mistake and be confronted by your friends and family and community and then sort of move forward in the world as a person who has learned from that mistake to me is so romantic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
The idea that there isn't actually really evidence necessarily, unless you did something so bad that it made it into the newspaper. Like prior to the internet, there was no risk of your mistakes being permanent in history. I think that there probably felt like a future where it could even be forgotten. It was up to you to tell that story once everybody forgot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
If you wanted to bring it up again, if you wanted to tell that story again, you could. Whereas now on the internet, if one of your mistakes gets broadcasted in some way, everyone knows about it forever. One Google search away, they can find your mistake for the rest of your life. You never get to move on from that. That's not your story to tell anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
That is now this permanent story that is permanently on the internet that can be accessed at any given moment at any time through the phone, through the Google search. Okay. This upsets me. I also think too, the idea that, you know, you can have sort of cringe, embarrassing phases in your life, but then move jobs or towns and start over completely. Like all of this is
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
a beautiful sort of concept to me that I think still does exist depending on your lifestyle, but is a novelty now more than ever. It didn't used to be a novelty. This just used to be reality. Whereas now for majority of people, this is this is a concern. This is the new reality is the fact that, you know, like even for people who are not on the internet, right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Even for people who don't have social media, there's still this sort of fear of the permanence of the internet, because let's say you're out at,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
party and you get blackout drunk and people take their phones out and start filming and then post it on the internet and you go viral because you did something sloppy or silly or stupid or dumb or you said something horrible like even for those who are not on the internet this is still a concern and I mean I do think it's all relative because prior to the internet the ridicule of perhaps your community was just as scary and terrifying I
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But now it's on a worldly scale. And I know it might sound sort of irrational, like, again, for the average person. For the most part, you can live anonymously. You can sort of rewrite your history. The past is not necessarily permanent, but it can be. For me, it's fully fucking permanent. Okay. For me, I'm living the extreme. Like it is fully permanent for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
For most people, it's still not fully that extreme yet, but it's still a concern. And it's something that deeply, deeply affects me personally. It's something that for the last few years has fucked with me psychologically in a number of ways. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Number one, I've struggled with something that I think every public figure has struggled with, which is the fear of being canceled for something that I did when I was younger and dumber. In the age of the internet, and growing up in the age of the internet, everything that I did as a middle schooler and high schooler is documented, okay? In middle school and high school, we all had iPhones.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
It was like when the iPhone first came out and we all finally got them. And we were all filming and taking photos of absolutely everything. And I... would be lying if I said that I don't worry sometimes about like what the fuck I did. I know I probably did some shit that I would absolutely regret now. Was I ultimately 13 years old?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I made that choice. Now I'm sort of tortured by it and it's like, okay, but I did it to myself. That's a reoccurring theme for me. Okay. I often sort of get myself into the most uncomfortable predicaments in my life. Usually I'm the one who did something wrong to get myself there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Yeah, I was 13 years old, but it doesn't matter because something that I did as a 13 year old, not knowing how things could be hurtful or mean or disrespectful or like not knowing, being so young and completely aloof. We have no clue what the fuck is going on. We have no clue what we're doing. We have no clue what we're saying. We have no clue the repercussions of anything. We're rebellious.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
We don't care. Like the fact that that phase of my life is in some ways permanent through fucking Snapchat memories and shit. on my own phone and other people's phone. This is something I don't like. This is a reality that I don't like. This is something that really, really bothers me. And it bothers me because I've worked so hard to become the person I am today.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I've been scolded by my fucking parents for saying shit that's disrespectful, saying shit that's morally wrong, doing shit that's disrespectful, doing shit that's morally wrong. I've gotten my ass handed to me already. I've learned my lessons. Who I am today, I'm very proud of. Do I make mistakes still? Do I do things still that could potentially... I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Tomorrow, somebody could come out and say, one time Emma was rude to me. And I might think of me like, oh my God, that was a week ago. And you know what? That's true. I don't fucking know. We live half of our lives in autopilot. So is there still a risk today? Yes. However, who I am today... I am in control of. This is me today.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I am the product of every single mistake I've ever made in my entire life. And I'm better for it. And I really am proud of my character today. So I'm tortured in a lot of ways by this person who is almost not even me anymore, right? Like me as a child with barely developed brain, like in the age of the internet, that is not just a distant memory. That is permanent memory. Right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And the idea of being judged for my past as though it's the present, it's a hard pill for me to swallow. I think it's a hard pill for a lot of people to swallow. And I think that sort of leads me to this other complicated sort of terrifying element of the permanence of the Internet. The fact that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Although I don't think I did anything wrong because I actually have no regrets, even though I am completely tortured by the permanence of the internet. I also am aware that it is something that I have to deal with in order to be on the internet. Like, the internet is not the internet if it's not permanent. That is a key detail.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
A memory, a story told verbally, it's so much more gently received than like a video, a photo, like solid proof. You know, that is responded to much more viscerally and understandably so, because by watching a video, by looking at a photo, you're transported to that time because you can see it. You know what I'm saying? It just it brings you there. It connects you to that moment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
story to that moment. Whereas like hearing something or recalling a memory, it's just so much more gentle. Right. And so that's the other thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
It's like the permanence of the Internet is made even more complex because not only is it now permanent, like set in stone in time, but also it's even there's something about the way that we psychologically respond to it that makes it also like more potent. Right. But that also leads me to what I briefly mentioned earlier. Like I also experience immense fear around messing up today. Right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Like there is this sort of fear of being judged on what I did in the past. Right. Because it's sort of made permanent or it can be made permanent. through the internet, but there's also a fear of making a mistake today.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And then not only, you know, being judged based on that in the moment in a way that's very intense because of the sort of permanence of the internet and how things spread permanently on the internet, but there's also the fear of like, am I damaging my future self? Right. And I've actually spent the last few years absolutely tormented by this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And it's caused me to develop a toxic level of perfectionism. I need to be perfect all the time in every single way because at all times, I'm at risk of making a mistake that could become permanent. It could change my life forever because on the internet, the past is permanent. And it sort of caused a mental block in me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
You know, I'm talking about the last few years, like maybe the last four years. I've really, really struggled with this. And it's made it really hard for me to show my personality online as much as I used to because I was so afraid of doing saying the wrong thing. I was constantly psyching myself out. I had a mental block. I had a mental block.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And there's other reasons why maybe my personality was less present on the internet. I was less present on the internet. You know, this sort of mental block is not the only reason, but it's definitely a significant reason. Sort of the realization of the permanence of the internet combined with the rise of cancel culture, I mean, I'm not playing victim here. Okay. At all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
This is not me like whining, being like, I'm a victim of, of this. And it's so sad for me and scary. I'm not saying that I'm, I'm literally just saying the truth of, of how it impacted me psychologically. I became so afraid that I started overthinking everything, you know? And like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
in obsessing over every single little thing I said and censoring myself beyond belief because mistakes are received more harshly than ever now because of cancel culture. But again, they're also like, they're never forgotten now. So I don't know. I understandably became obsessive about every single thing that I put on the internet of myself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And it became boring and bland and sort of vanilla even for a period of time because I was too scared to almost like fully just be myself and be normal because I... I couldn't stomach the fact that if I show myself and it's maybe not received well in one way or another, it's now permanent. I couldn't handle it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Westin Hotels and Resorts. Westin Hotels is designed with your well-being in mind. With more than 200 destinations around the world, Westin Hotels makes it possible to keep up with your wellness routine while traveling.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
You know what? It's pathetic how addicted I am to YouTube shorts. It's pathetic. Okay. It's pathetic because I've taken extreme measures to manage my social media addiction. And yet somehow I found a way to get addicted to YouTube shorts. Okay. I got two phones.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
YouTube Shorts was the last chance I had to scroll, or so I thought. I already found something else to scroll on. But this is a little bit healthier. And I don't think I'm going to become addicted to this, but it allows me to scroll in a way that is mentally stimulating. And when I'm on the toilet, I open this app and I look. This is the app Tagwalk, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like, oh my God, I thought you were wearing a sweater, but then I just walked up closer and it's actually like a mesh shirt. Like, that's so weird. Like, because it was printed on. That's so cool. That's funny the first few times, but the more you see it, the less exciting it is. And then you're like, eh. I'm good. And then the last example would be just realistic prints of stuff on clothing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And the example I gave was of faces because that's what I saw. I don't know how I feel about this. I definitely don't think that it's timeless. I think it's a bit odd. Like there's something sort of weird and unsettling about looking at a piece of clothing and it just has like a big face on it or something. Let's even take it a step further beyond the runway.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Let's say there was a big realistic image of a dog on a garment, or there was a big realistic image of an apple on a garment. That actually sounds kind of cool. You know, that actually might just be so odd and unusual, the concept of like printing something realistic and large on a shirt. That actually might be so odd that it's timeless, if that makes sense. Like it's such a unique idea.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
It's so weird. that it might always sort of be intriguing. So maybe that's the most timeless of all of these examples in this sort of category of like semi-realistic photographs and prints on clothes. But all the garments that I saw that had these big, realistic looking photographs of people, I was like, that is one of the weirder things I've ever seen. I don't think I love it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I don't think I love it. It weirdly is so odd that it's almost like Timeless. I don't know. I'm confused by it. Moving on. I've been seeing so many body suits worn without pants. OK, so like almost like a leotard. But I've seen them in many different forms. There's infinite body suits on the runway right now like this. Some of them are long sleeves. Some of them are short sleeves.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Some of them have cutouts. Some of them are lace. Some of them are stretchy. Some of them are like there are so many. But I'm just seeing a lot of sort of body suits where it almost looks like a one piece swimsuit of some sort going down the runway. I find it fascinating because, again, you know, this is not a trend that you can actually go out and wear. You know, you can't go to work.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
You can't babysit your little cousin. You can't go to church. You can't even really go to the grocery store in one of these leotard sort of bodysuit, sort of one-piece swimsuit looking pieces. However, you can layer a bodysuit. You can wear a bodysuit with a skirt. You can wear a bodysuit with pants. On the runway, it's being shown alone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But I imagine that maybe they're doing that to just showcase the design of the bodysuit. And they actually would recommend their customer to wear it with pants, of course, because that's kind of how you would have to wear it. But I don't know. I think the concept of sort of a one-piece leotard sort of bodysuit, I think that is a timeless concept.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And a lot of the ones that I saw were simple and versatile and classic, like nothing too crazy. So I would go ahead and say that the bodysuit is timeless. However, I do not love a bodysuit. Like in reality, when it comes to styling a bodysuit for day-to-day life, I don't love a bodysuit, okay? Number one, I find them to be very uncomfortable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Number two, I don't actually like the look of a shirt being tight. Okay, so if I'm styling the bodysuit with pants because that's how you would have to style the bodysuit for it to be socially acceptable, I don't like the look of a tight shirt tucked into my pants for the most part.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I actually like the look of a slightly looser shirt where, you know, you can see the bottom of the waist of the shirt. Perhaps it's hitting at a very flattering point where, you know, on the waist of your pant. And I like that. I don't love tucking in a shirt. And even worse, I don't love a bodysuit where the shirt is flat to the body. I just don't like how that looks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I actually think I probably like a bodysuit best being worn by itself with no pants, like a leotard. Like that's actually the coolest way to wear it, I think. But again, that's not really socially acceptable. But I kind of think sort of the pantsless trend that we've seen mainly in high fashion, not as much in real life over the past few years is fun and exciting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Tagwalk is an app that basically just shows you runway collections, like fashion runway collections. It's actually really an incredible app. You can look up a fashion show that happened 10 years ago from a certain designer and you can find it on this app and look through it. There's professional images. Like, you get to see everything, right? So...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And I've participated in it a few times. I went to a runway show probably a year ago now wearing sort of what I'm describing right now, like kind of like a bodysuit, a leotard almost with no pants. And I absolutely loved it. I also like probably a little over a year ago wore no pants to an event. I wore sort of like a leather underwear to a red carpet event.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
That doesn't really, you know, fall under the category of bodysuit, but it does fall under the category of no pants. And I quite enjoyed it. I thought it looked cool. I thought it was fun. But on both of those occasions, I'm wearing those outfits wearing in very specific environments where I can wear whatever I want.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Cause that's part of the point of the event is like, get dressed up in fashion trends from the runway for this event. Right. So it's a very hyper specific, like if I, you know, didn't go to those events, I would not have an opportunity to wear those types of looks. Right. So I enjoy it. I enjoy a leotard, a bodysuit by itself for those types of rare occasions.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But again, on a day-to-day basis, I don't get to wear that and I don't like the way it looks with pants. So I'm just not a fan. But I think the concept is timeless. I think the concept of... not wearing pants with it is not timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Because again, I don't think there will ever come a time where it's socially acceptable to go to school in a leotard, unless you're a gymnast and you have gymnastics practice at your school. You know what I'm saying? And even then, I think your teacher is going to tell you to put sweatpants over it. You know what I'm saying? It's never going to be normal, I don't think.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
So yeah, the whole pantsless trend, I think, is not timeless. But I think, yeah, a bodysuit itself. Sure. It's timeless. Okay. Next lace. I saw so much lace on the red carpet. Lace is just the textile of the season. It seems to me, I feel like every day when I wake up, I love lace a little bit more. But I just felt delighted every single time I saw lace on the runway.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I was seeing lace tights, lace bodysuits, slash lace leotards, if you will, lace gloves, lace tops, lace leggings, like lace everywhere. Lace was happening. Lace could not be avoided. Everywhere I looked, I saw lace everywhere. Not only do I know that lace is timeless, okay? I don't think it's up for debate. I think it is absolutely timeless. I think its recent applications are even more timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I don't think I saw one bad use of lace. I looked at 50 runway shows. Not one use of lace was bad. I liked it in every single application. Now, there are times when I don't like lace. Don't get me wrong. In fact, up until recently, I didn't love lace. I really didn't love it. I was often disappointed when I saw it. It was often used in ways that I disliked.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But as time has gone on, I've seen more and more uses of lace that I love. And then over the last week, seeing it be used in so many beautiful ways on the runway. Now I'm obsessed with lace. I love lace. Where's the lace in my closet? I don't have any. That's fine. If I find something beautiful that's lace, I might pick it up, but I'm not searching for it. I'll let it find me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I am sort of manifesting a pair of little lace gloves though, because I saw some lace gloves on the runway and I was like, that is really good. Also lace tights, though. I really enjoy lace tights. Personally, I'm less interested in like a lace bodysuit, even like a lace top. I really like lace being like a subtle detail, like a subtle texture addition.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like, yeah, lace tights, lace socks, lace gloves, little peeps of lace here and there. Perhaps like a lace turtleneck that could be layered underneath other clothing. That could be kind of interesting, too. But I prefer it more as like a subtle detail. But either way, I even love it when it's a main detail. I just think it's great. And I'm into it right now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And I just thought it was delightfully done time and time again. So I guess in conclusion, lace is timeless and I'm manifesting some lace gloves. I briefly pause this episode of Anything Goes to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Squarespace. You know when a website looks insanely good and actually works? That's probably Squarespace.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
When I'm on the toilet, when I'm laying in bed, exhausted, needing a little bit more dopamine from a scroll before I go to sleep, instead of going on YouTube Shorts now, I go on this app, Tagwalk, and look at current runway collections. At a certain point, I'm going to run out of current runway collections to look at, and I'm going to have to go back into the archive. But there are so many...
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fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
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And when you're ready, use squarespace.com slash Emma for 10% off your first website or domain. Now let's get back to the episode. Speaking of lace, I saw a lot of lingerie on the runway, like lingerie being styled, I feel like, as clothing that you could wear out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I think lingerie itself is timeless, like the classic sort of, here we go again with the lace, you know, lace, silk, underwear, you know, lace silk bra, bras in shapes that are classic, um, and sort of beautiful in a way, you know, the, the bras that I wear when I really have to wear a bra are absolutely hideous. Okay. But they do the trick, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
They're smoothing, they smooth everything out, but they're not sexy by any means. They're I feel honestly, I don't feel hot when I wear them. So, you know, when we think of these bras that are on the runway, it's like a beautiful bra, right? Not as comfortable and definitely doesn't look as good under clothes, but it's beautiful on its own.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
You know, it has underwire and boning that like makes it look really structured and, you know, beautiful. And like, again, you know, the materials are using lace and silk. It's like really luxurious. And then, the colors tend to be classic, white, black, red. I mainly saw white and black. But yeah, that is timeless. I think that type of lingerie is timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
To be honest with you, I've never owned lingerie. To me, it gets in the way. That's my opinion. To me, it gets in the way. I prefer less stuff going on. You know what I'm saying? Like, oh my God, I'm about to TMI so much. People are going to judge me and they're going to be like, Emma, do you forget that like people listen to this? Yes, I do forget because I'm just alone in my office right now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
So I'm just saying shit. I didn't wear underwear for like three years and I fucking loved it, okay? And no, it wasn't like some sort of like sexual thing. It was just, I liked the feeling. In retrospect, I have no clue how I did that because it seems so uncomfortable to me now because now I wear underwear again. I wear granny panties now. Full ass, full ass covered granny panties.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I avoid wearing a bra as much as possible. My point of this is, lingerie to me is like constricting. I feel constricted by that. It's not comfortable. It's not sexy. It's not fun. It doesn't feel good. It's getting in the way. And I'd rather just be nude. Do you know what I'm saying? Anyway, I went on a little TMI tangent, which happens sometimes. But let's go back to the point, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Styling lingerie is in, okay? Styling it as clothing, not as lingerie. For wearing out, is this trendy or timeless? It's trendy. The concept of wearing undergarments as clothing, I think inevitably is trendy because again, I think that modesty... goes in and out of style. I think there are periods of time when it's more trendy to be sort of risque. And I think that's fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
There's nothing wrong with that. But I think being risque ends up feeling... What's fun about it a lot of times, I'm not saying all the time, but I think a lot of the times what's fun about being risque is that it's edgy. It's going against the grain. And then
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
at a certain point when it becomes trendy and everyone's doing it, I think then it's like, wait, I don't really feel like, not as really drawn to this anymore. And then, you know, it kind of falls out of favor for a bit. And then it comes back in. Although I'm thinking about it now and I'm like, because lingerie itself, right? Like just lingerie in general is timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like the design of it is timeless. I am sort of conflicted on whether or not just wearing it is timeless, even though it's sort of risque and that goes in and out of style because lingerie is timeless. Is it sort of timeless? I don't know. I'm kind of conflicted. I'm going to go ahead and say no.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
runway shows happening all the time that there's a lot of stuff to look at. And I love analyzing that. I'm actually having an incredible time. And I really don't think it's toxic. I actually think this is a valid replacement for YouTube shorts that is not unhealthy. I think
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I'm going to go ahead and say that the actual design of lingerie itself is timeless, but styling it and having it exposed is not. And I'm not fully sold on that, but that's what I'm going to say. Okay. Moving on. I saw quite a few 60s mod patterns. Okay. Kind of like quirky retro looking patterns.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like if you were to look up on Google right now, quirky retro patterns, you would see a bunch of 60s mod patterns. And I saw a handful of those on the runway. I saw it enough times to be like, to me, that's a trend. I'm seeing a trend here. I do not think the patterns are timeless. Every few years, they're cool again and they're in again. But then so quickly, they're out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And wearing a 60s mod pattern looks like a Halloween costume. It looks like You're dressing up like a 60s mod girl, like you're being Twiggy for Halloween or something. Twiggy, the iconic 60s mod model queen. I don't know. I do not think that it's timeless. In fact, I think it's one of the only elements of the 60s mod aesthetic that is not timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I think the 60s mod silhouettes, sort of boxier clothing, simple silhouettes, timeless. But the 60s mod patterns, I'm sorry, not timeless. I think a lot of patterns are trendy. Not all. There are a few patterns that I think are timeless. I think patterns definitely come in and out of style.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
One phone that has all of the social media apps downloaded that I keep in my office on the floor for moments when I need to post on social media. And then I have another phone that has no social media apps downloaded on it except for YouTube because I have a soft spot for YouTube. that I carry around all the time that is used mainly for utility purposes, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like patterns will have their moment, you know, but I think that there are some that even when they're not having their moment are not repulsive. Let me give you an example of another trendy pattern, and then I'll give you an example of a timeless pattern, okay? Another trendy pattern would be checkerboard print. When it's in, it's all anybody wants.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And then the second it's out, it's actually repulsive. And even looking at it will make anybody who remotely likes fashion or cares about it nauseous. Nausea. Like I loved checkerboard print in 2019. By 2021, it made me sick. Now, some timeless patterns would be stripes, polka dots, plaid. I mean, it depends on the plaid.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
There's definitely some plaids that are not timeless, but I would say like classic plaid. I'm sorry, you can't go wrong. That's timeless. Those are a few examples. Those always work. You can always make those work. I mean, I predict that stripes and polka dots this year are going to be massive. I think that they're going to be the patterns of the year.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like when we look back on 2025, we're going to remember polka dots. We're going to remember stripes. But I think that they're timeless. Plaid? Come on, it's plaid. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's plaid. You can't hate it. You either hate it or you don't. Like, plaid was really trendy a few years ago, and I really loved it then. And then it sort of maybe went out of style a little bit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I'm equally as satisfied from this activity, but I don't think it's destroying me in my attention span like YouTube shorts did. Short form content is just not good for the brain. It's overstimulating. It causes anxiety. I'm already anxious. The last thing I need is short form content in my day-to-day routine. So I'm loving this, okay? And I've been loving this for like the past week.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I still love plaid, you know? Whereas, like, checkerboard print, I really loved it, and then I fucking hated it. I don't know. Anyway, back to 60s mod, sort of retro-y patterns. Hell nah. Okay, next. I cannot tell you how many pairs of flip-flops I saw on the runway. It was unbelievable. There were so many flip-flops. There were pairs of regular flip-flops, just normal average flip-flops.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
There were little high-heeled flip-flops. There were little wedged flip-flops. There were flip-flops that were almost like a boot flip-flop, like where I've actually been seeing those for the last few years. That is not new, but alas, I saw it on the runway. where it's like a flip-flop, but then the top extends up the leg. Does that make sense? It's okay if it doesn't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
They're kind of weird looking anyway. You're not missing that much. You probably wouldn't buy them anyway. You know, it's all good. I just kept seeing flip-flops over and over and over and over again. And it's funny because for many years, I absolutely hated flip-flops, like despised them, thought that they were hideous, would not be caught dead in a flip-flop. And then...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I got reintroduced to the idea of a flip-flop when I sort of had this epiphany that a flip-flop might actually be cute during the summer. It might. A little classic leather rainbow flip-flop, okay? Not rainbow like color rainbow, but the brand rainbow, okay? If you don't know what the brand Rainbow is, it's a brand of like classic surfer flip flops. They're just classic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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They have like a little rainbow tag on them. It's like super cute, super like California surfer vibe. Hawaii surfer vibe. Very nostalgic for me. You know, I like dreamed of having a pair of rainbow flip flops when I was young and I eventually got a pair and I absolutely love them. I think I got a hand me down for my cousins. Like they had rainbow flip flops and then pass them down to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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They were like a pinkish beige color and I was obsessed with them. Okay. They were so cool. So like surfer girl, California surfer girl vibes. I adored it. And a few summers ago I was like, wait, that's kind of a vibe. And so I wore rainbow flip-flops the whole summer. I don't know, like kind of in like a wannabe surfer girl way. You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I cannot surf, but I can wear cute little leather flip-flops. And I did. And so that kind of got me back into the world of the flip-flop. Okay. Cause I was really against it. I thought that they were unflattering. I thought that they were like impossible to style. I was super closed off to them beforehand. So that kind of wore me back up to them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And then recently I bought a pair of like plain black flip-flops. I was on a trip to my hometown and my dad's a surfer, actually. He's actually like a good surfer. He's not like surfing big, huge, huge waves, but he's a surfer. He surfs almost every single day. And on this trip home, I decided to surf with him. It went terribly.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And I had like a mental breakdown every single time that we surfed because I was so overwhelmed and scared and I hate the feeling of a wetsuit. But I didn't bring any flip flops on the trip. And so I had to buy a pair and I bought a pair of just like plain black ones. I wear these flip flops.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
So often I mainly wear them to my hot yoga classes because it's just like not fun to put a sock on in a shoe after you just sweat for an hour. Like that's disgusting. But I've actually ended up styling them as well. Like I think that they look quite cute with, you know, like a little capri or, you know, with like a little yoga pant, like a little like a sort of chic athletic pant. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
They can even like weirdly look cute with jeans. Like I'm kind of into it. I'm kind of into the flip flop. And if you would have asked me a few years ago if I thought a flip-flop was timeless, I think I would have said no. But I actually do think a flip-flop is timeless. I think the concept of the shoe, right, is timeless. Do I think every single pair of flip-flop shoes are timeless? No.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But I would say the concept of the flip-flop, okay? A little post going between your two big toes and then a strap, two straps going over the top of your foot like that as a concept is timeless. That will never go away. And I think when styled in a cool way or when designed really well, it is a timeless shoe. Do I think that there were a lot of really trendy flip-flops going on on the runway?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Yes. I think the flip-flop that is sort of like a boot flip-flop where it goes up the leg a little bit, that to me is trendy. Again, it's a bit weird looking. It's a bit funky. And I actually think it's kind of cool. It's okay. Again, I'm not obsessed with it, but I'm also not against it. I definitely don't hate it. But I just can't ever imagine that being anyone's staple shoe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
We'll see how long it lasts. But in this last week, I've consumed more runway fashion than I probably ever have in my life. And not only am I having an incredible time, but it's exciting because I'm noticing trends. Like I'm seeing things happen. You know, when you're observing every single runway show,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Usually when you want to expose your toes, it's because the weather's warm. The weather's warm. You want to slip your shoe on and off easily. And a lot of times shoes that are easy to slip on and off have an open toe. But now if you turn it into more of a shoe, more of a boot, half the reason why you would wear an open-toed shoe to begin with, a flip-flop to begin with, is now kind of ruined.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Because it's now a boot flip-flop. Yeah, it's just sort of like a pointless shoe, right? It's like half winter, half summer. You're exposing the toes, but you're covering the leg. If it's a hot summer day, it's 90 degrees, and you want to put on your flip-flops, but you have flip-flop boots, that's not very comfortable. You know? I don't know. I...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But I think like a little kitten heel flip-flop is for the most part timeless. I think like weird flip-flop wedges, like let's relax. That's trendy. That is not going to last, you know. I think majority of flip-flops are timeless, but be careful out there. Okay, next we have another shoe. Knee-high sneakers. I saw this multiple times on multiple runways.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
To me, these are an absolute catastrophe and they are unforgivable. Yeah, they are. Yes, they are. They are unforgivable to me. They are atrocious to me. And I don't say that about a lot of stuff. I really don't. Like, I don't know. It takes a lot for me to call something atrocious. A knee-high sneaker to me is one of the worst things I've ever seen. And I never liked it, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like back in the day when I was a kid, like when I was eight, it was trendy to, you know, get the knee-high Converse. Remember that? I hated them back then. I hate them now. I'll tell you why I hate them. Okay. I'm not just like, oh my God, it's ugly. I hate it. No, I genuinely have like reasons for hating it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Number one, from a functional standpoint, you cannot get your foot into a knee high sneaker without a zipper, but there are laces all up the front. So it's an illusion. The point of laces on shoes is are to fasten the shoes once you get your foot in there. But you usually loosen the laces and then get your foot in. So it's already a little bit silly in that way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But to give the shoe the benefit of the doubt, I'm going to look at it as though it's like a boot. There are sometimes lace-up boots that also have a zipper. But the idea is that you put your foot in, zip up the shoe, and then tighten it even more with the laces. So Even though sneakers are more of a utilitarian shoe, like, you know, the laces are for tightening the shoe, fastening the shoe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
If the shoe doesn't need to be fastened or tightened, it usually will have like a little bit of elastic. So you're slipping your foot in to a shoe that has elastic and there is no laces. There's never like a zipper to zip something up and then faux laces. Like if a sneaker doesn't need a lace, it's not going to have laces. It'll somehow fasten or close in another way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Elastic, Velcro, something else. But like a sneaker is a functional shoe, okay? A boot is more of a beautiful shoe. Like it's also more of a complex shoe, right? Like it's made often out of a stiffer material. The idea of zipping up a boot in the back and then tightening it in the front to me doesn't feel as ridiculous, right? But I think it's because that's the nature of a boot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
you do start to notice the trends and the patterns and the things that are clearly in right now. I mean, I've gone to Fashion Week many times and I don't see nearly as much stuff because I can only physically go to so many shows. Sitting on the toilet and scrolling on Tag Walk, the app, has exposed me to more fashion than I've ever been exposed to in my life. And I'm having an incredible time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
It's just a more complex shoe. Right. And in order to fasten it, it's just more complicated. But like the whole point of a sneaker, I feel like is that it's like a functional shoe. Right. So if now you have a knee high sneaker that you could never possibly get on unless there was a zipper. Now it's just making the whole concept of the sneaker goofy. It's just extreme. And now it's a gimmick to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Okay, in addition to that, it is perhaps one of the most unflattering shoes on the planet. A sneaker is pretty narrow, right? So the foot is pretty small on a knee-high sneaker. The foot's small. And the shoe comes all the way up to the knee. But it looks imbalanced because when you have a shoe that comes all the way up to the knee... it sort of brings like attention to your calves, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
It takes up a lot of space. You know what I'm saying? Like it's bulky, it's there. And that sometimes looks good, like in the case of a boot, but it looks good in the case of a boot because a lot of times the base of the boot is a bit more robust, is a bit stronger. Whereas a sneaker is like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
small and weak at the bottom and it just there's something about like a small and weak little foot in a little sneaker and then the entire calf being covered with fabric it just it's unflattering it makes the foot look small it makes the calf look wide and it makes the leg look short I'm not sure exactly why but it does whereas like a boot with a strong you know
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
boxy toe perhaps and like a strong sole and like, you know, a thicker sort of heel and then a strong sort of situation on the leg, either something really tight or something more rigid that purposefully gapes a little bit. Like, I don't know. It just, it's a more balanced shoe. The knee high sneaker is so unbalanced and it looks horrible to me on everyone. No one is safe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Literally the hottest of the hot to me doesn't look good in the knee high sneaker. Bella Hadid, you're so hot. Don't put on the knee high sneaker. You know what I'm saying? Like Kendall Jenner. so hot. Don't put on the knee high. Like no one is safe. No one should put on the knee high sneaker. I don't care how hot and how beautiful and how tall you are. It doesn't matter.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
We're not ever going to wear a knee high sneaker. Moving on. I saw a lot of cowboy boots with a pointed toe. I wasn't seeing like cowboy boots, like Oh, I just went to Boot Barn and bought a pair of cowboy boots. If you don't know what Boot Barn is, it's like a cowboy store. And I just went to it for the first time because over the holidays, multiple of my loved ones had weird shoes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
unique reasons to go to Boot Barn. There were multiple people around me who were like, wait, I want to see if they have any just plain black boots. And then someone else was like, wait, actually, this is weird. And I don't even know if I want one, but I kind of want to look at a cowboy hat because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It was very random.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
So I ended up going to a place I never thought I would go, Boot Barn. They sell cowboy boots. They sell cowboy hats. They sell cowboy, cowboy, cowboy. I actually have sort of a cowboy in my family. My grandpa on my mom's side is kind of a cowboy and used to make horseshoes like he was a blacksmith. So like in this shit's in my blood. Okay. I should be going into boot barn. Like I'm home.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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It didn't feel that way. I was very overwhelmed. It smelled like leather. I found a pair of boots. I actually did like, like a plain black pair of, I don't know, like kind of motorcycle boots. They're just classic, but I decided against them. I was like, you know what, Emma, you already have something similar and you just don't need them. But anyway, um, just went to boot barn.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
What I saw on the runway over the last week is not what I saw at Boot Barn. Okay, the boots at Boot Barn are like classic cowboy boots. You know, a lot of them are beige. You know, there's like sort of this classic, almost floral looking embroidery that a lot of cowboy boots have.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
A lot of times they have the notch, like the sort of not notches, but I guess like zigzag embroidery on top of the toe. Like there's a lot of... similarities between cowboy boots. They have a lot of key characteristics. Majority of those characteristics did not show up on the runway. However, enough of them did that I would consider these boots to be cowboy boots. Okay. Number one, pointed toe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Anyway, let me get to the point, okay? Over the last week, I've really gotten caught up in current fashion. And I've noticed a lot of trends. And I want to analyze them with you. I want to analyze the trends that are on the runway now and discuss whether I think they're trendy or timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Okay. Not all cowboy boots are pointed toe, but a lot of them are. So that's number one. Number two, sort of the Part of the boot that is on your calf, right? I don't even know what you'd call that. Like the neck of the boot? Like the top of the boot? I don't know what you'd call it. On the runway, a lot of them had that sort of rounded shape at the top that is very much cowboy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And the seams were sort of in the same places. However, the colors on the runway were were very different. You know, a lot of them had elements that sort of made them look not cowboy like they were all black leather or all white leather or they were. painted or whatever. Um, but that shape I saw multiple times, particularly for men. And to be honest, I do think that this is timeless. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Some people might disagree with me because a pointed toe boot, you know, it can be hit or miss, but I'm going to go ahead and say it's timeless because I do think that at any point in history, you can style a goddamn simple cowboy boot and make it happen and make it fucking happen. You know,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Weirdly enough, I think the sort of pointy toe, almost cowboy boots that I saw on the runway, to me, because they're more simple and more versatile than the classic cowboy boot, you know, they aren't as Western feeling. They're vaguely Western, but they're actually more simple in a way, like they don't have the embroidery feel.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
they don't immediately read as cowboy boots, which kind of makes them super specific and niche immediately to what they are, right? I actually think that because of that, they're even more timeless than a classic cowboy boot because a lot of the ones I saw were like, It's very simple, almost like a modern, simplified, more neutral take on a cowboy boot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Although I do think I saw a neon yellow pair, if I can remember correctly, and those are not timeless. And neon yellow, anything to me is a catastrophe. And I do not like... Actually, no, there are moments when it works, but for the most part, I'm not into it. And Something like that is not timeless, but I actually quite like these boots and I think that they're pretty versatile and flexible.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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And so I'm going to go ahead and say for the most part, timeless. I love a little vaguely Western looking pointy boot. Okay. Next, I saw a lot of skinny little dainty belts. Okay. I've actually been seeing these for a while now, but I just kept seeing them. So I feel like it'd be weird if I didn't mention them. I'm going to keep this short and sweet, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Just like Sabrina Carpenter, short and sweet. Skinny little belts are timeless. They just are. They're timeless. They always look good. They always look chic. You know, a belt oftentimes overpowers the waist area. I really love the way that a little thin sort of belt looks. It's just chic and it's elegant and it's not overpowering. And I don't know, I think when it's done right, it looks so good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And I've been seeing it time and time again, and it's still happening. But I think for good reason, because it just... It allows you to sort of cinch the waist in a delicate way. And most belts are not delicate, are not sort of precious. But I think a skinny little belt can be so precious and so elegant as well. Like belts are not often elegant, in my opinion.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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And this is actually a series here on Anything Goes called Trendy or Timeless, where we take fashion and discuss together whether we think it's trendy or timeless. And you can't tell me because I can't hear you. So it's sort of actually just one-sided. I'm just telling you if I think it's trendy or timeless. But I'd like to think that it's a conversation. It's not. It's one-sided.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
In fact, like it makes sense that they're not elegant, right? A belt is used to, you know, make pants that maybe don't quite fit properly, fit properly. And when I think of elegance, I think of every single seam being perfectly placed on the body. I think of like clothing fitting absolutely perfectly. And so the concept of like, oh, actually something does not fit properly is
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Therefore, one must wear a belt. That is the opposite of elegance. Is that bad? Is that ugly? Is that? No, no, I don't think so. I think there's moments when belts look super cool. There are moments when belts are actually serving a purpose. And they look super cool. Like pants are too big and you're wearing with a belt with it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And like, that's sometimes the vibe, but nobody's ever saying it's elegant. It's definitely not. And I think it's cool how a little, you know, dainty belt can actually be elegant. And it's kind of the only belt that can, which I think in my opinion that can. And so I just, I love a little dainty belt. I don't own any, but I like them. That leads me to neon yellow, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I saw a lot of neon yellow and I already said earlier that everything that is neon yellow, I almost hate. There actually were a few things that were more of like a booger yellow. Like they were less neon yellow and more like neon booger yellow. For some fucking reason that I cannot explain, the only neon color that I weirdly kind of like is like a neon booger yellow green.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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more leaning towards green but could read as yellow but like technically is sort of like a neon green booger yellow green it's the only neon color i don't hate i i there's something about it that i like like sort of alien green okay and i saw some of that as well so there's kind of a mix between like neon yellow and neon booger green alien yellow and green yellow green it's hard to say
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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And I do kind of like that. So like, but I don't think any neon is timeless. I have a hard time with that. Like full neon, it's not timeless to me. It's just too loud. It's too loud. And if it becomes too popular, it just gets annoying. You get to a point where you're like, neon's not even fun to look at anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like at first it was fun to look at because it's so bright and wow, that's so beautiful. But then you get sick of the saturation and you're like, this is just becoming annoying. I don't know. At least that's what happens to me. Anyway, neon is not timeless, but I do enjoy like a neon alien booger green. I have to say it. Moving on. A lot of mesh in sheer sort of synthetic fabric. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I do think that mesh in general, and I'm talking about like mesh that's like, not like wide mesh, but like really narrow mesh, like just like a, a shirt that's sort of see-through, but it doesn't have like holes in it. It's like mesh in a way where it looks like one solid piece of fabric, but you can see straight through it. Right. That's what I'm talking about with mesh.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I actually saw mesh used in some very beautiful ways. that were very elegant, very beautiful. My only concern is that mesh does tend to defeat the purpose of clothing, right? The purpose of clothing is to cover your body, stay warm, you know, express yourself as well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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But first and foremost, you're covering up your genitalia and you are staying warm depending on the weather or cooling off depending on the weather. So that means wearing less, you know, but either way, It's usually about function first. And the challenging thing about mesh is that you can see your nipples through it. You can see your belly button through it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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But it feels to me like a conversation. Without further ado, this is trendy or timeless. This is what I've been seeing on the runway. Let's get into it. Let's start out with shirts being worn incorrectly. Shirts where like the neckline, okay, where the neckline would be. is pulled down.
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You know, you can see your butt crack through it. You can see everything. And on the runway, a lot of times you do see nipple. And again, like you can't wear that very many places. So that sort of makes it challenging. But I do think overall, despite that red flag, it is timeless because I think that there's always a way to utilize mesh.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like at any given moment, you can figure out a way to make mesh work. You know what I'm saying? I think unlike, say something that's a wider mesh, like a fishnet tight, you know, unlike a fishnet tight that I think is more trendy because it's just, it's such like a statement. It's so, it's very, it's a loud sort of piece.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Mesh is so versatile and it's so buildable that I do think that it kind of always works. But I do think that there are moments where it's super trendy. And I think right now is one of those moments. Next, I saw a lot of snake print. I hate it. I really don't like it. I saw a lot of snake print and I just couldn't stand it. Every single time I saw it, I said, wow, that's a shame.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
That's a real shame because it's just not good. I think I personally don't like it because... I don't know. I find like this sort of exotic like animal prints like snake, alligator, zebra, leopard. It feels so, I don't know, to me like an exotic fabric or pattern feels sort of gaudy. flamboyant. You know, it's loud and it's like, look at me and look.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I mean, those patterns, though now for the most part, you know, being faux, right? Not actually coming from a snake. Well, I guess it depends on the brand, but, you know, not actually coming from a snake, not actually coming from a leopard, not actually coming from an alligator. You know, a lot of these things are often faux these days. I mean, again, it depends.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Some of the high-end brands still do use you know, the actual animal. But when it comes to going to Urban Outfitters or Zara or something like that, of course it's not real, right? And these trends tend to carry into these places. So anyway, but this sort of concept of like exotic furs and stuff like that
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
it goes back to, you know, the way that people showed off their wealth back in the day, long time ago. Like, hey, look at this, you know, rare animal that I'm wearing. That's how fucking rich I am. And I just think that because it's rooted in gaudiness and flamboyance, it's rooted in being like, oh, look at me, very wealthy in my snake skin, you know? And like that,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
So now the top is like a tube top, but the top of the tube top is actually where the neck of the shirt would normally be. Okay. And then the arms are tied around the waist. Okay. That's one example. Another example would be a shirt that has folded shirts sewed onto the front. okay? Imagine you're at a retail store and you see a bunch of shirts folded up on the shelf.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
sort of like flexing, flexing is not timeless. There are times when flexing is in and, you know, like showing off is in, and there are times when it's out. And I think right now, even it's out, which is kind of ironic because, you know, I'm seeing a lot of snake pattern all over the runway. But it's not necessarily being used in a super gaudy way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
It's not being paired with a snakeskin boot and a big, puffy leopard print jacket and big gold earrings. It's not being styled in that way. But it still reads like that to me. Even when it's paired with things that are more simple and subdued, I still feel like This just feels, I don't know, it like feels icky to me. There's something about it that's just icky to me. It gives me bad vibes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Yeah, I just don't love it. And I don't think it's timeless. I don't think any exotic animal patterns are timeless. Moving on to exaggerated body shapes. Okay, I saw some like big pointy shoulders and I saw a lot of big exaggerated hips that were built out using some sort of boning underneath the piece, like big exaggerated hips.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
You know, I actually do think that exaggerating body shape is timeless. And I think it's a cool concept, you know, that like through clothing, you can in a way sort of reshape your body using, you know, various bonings and like little small sculptures inside of your clothing. You can now move around with a fully different shape. It's very cool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like the idea that like you could wear a dress that has beautiful, you know, puffed up shoulders and like a beautiful wide skirt, right? And now when you walk around, you take up this space and you're demanding the attention of the room. Like there's something very cool about that. I like it. It's a great example of like, using fashion to sort of express yourself. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I think it's a cool concept. So I'm into it and I think it's timeless. Moving on to non-athletic leggings. Okay. I'm talking about like knit leggings, leggings that maybe are in some sort of like synthetic material, but wouldn't be worn for working out. Like they're fashion, fashion leggings, not timeless. I don't think so. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But in the same way that like wearing lingerie feels like you're kind of wearing your undergarments outside of the clothes. Like how can that be timeless if it's like not like socially, like it's not really socially acceptable. Like you can't really wear that around. Same thing with like leggings. Like leggings, I think up until somewhat recently, leggings were worn underneath clothing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And you would never wear your leggings out. You know what I'm saying? And I don't even think leggings fully existed until recently, but like a version of leggings existed, right? You know, whether it was tights or long johns or whatever for keeping warm. I don't know. I just think it does sort of feel like an undergarment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And I'm not, I promise you, like I'm not somebody who is super, like I don't care about Like if somebody wants to walk around with their nipples out, I don't fucking care. I'm not super traditional. Like, oh, well, that's an undergarment and that should not be worn out. I'm just like looking at it from like a societal standpoint, not like I wore a bodysuit with no pants to a fashion show.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I wore leather underwear to a red carpet event. It's very clear that I don't give a fuck. You know, I've had my boobs almost out on multiple red carpets. OK, I've had a one inch piece of fabric around my chest holding my boobs in and that's it on a red carpet. Boobs fully out. Majority of the boob, you know, probably 70 percent of the boob out on a red carpet. I've done it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
So it's like I don't care. But when I'm trying to figure out if something is timeless, I have to consider its history. Like, would this have been acceptable 50, 100 years ago? Leggings? No. And so then that sort of begs the question, like, what's going to happen in the future?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
You know, is modesty going to sort of come back in style and this will look choogy and weird and, you know, unsophisticated? Like, I don't know. But I do think overall a legging is... Like a legging for exercise, I think is timeless because it's serving a purpose, but like a legging for fashion, I'm not so sure. And I could be wrong and we could be sort of in a new era.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And for the rest of time, you know, a legging might always be able to be styled properly, but it's, I just feel like they're so tight in revealing and hard to style and make look good. I just have a really hard time believing that they're timeless. I feel like I remember them being trendy in the 2010s and then they went out in such a big way and nobody dared to touch a legging.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Now, imagine you were to take that shirt that's folded and sew that onto the front of a shirt. I've seen that. I've seen, you know, shirts that have another shirt sewn on the front of it and it's kind of falling off. I'm just seeing a lot of this. Like, weird, deconstructed shirts. Shirts reimagined, okay? I'm seeing this everywhere.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And now they're sort of starting to come back. But I really feel like everyone hated them for a long time. And yeah, I just, I don't know. I don't know about the legging. I'm going to say not timeless, except for for exercise. We got to wear our leggings, but yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong about that one. And last but not least, painted fabric, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Painted fabric in the way that it's supposed to look painted, okay? Like, I'm not talking about fabric that, like, for example, leather, which I guess is kind of a type of fabric, being... painted so that the leather is now a different color, but you can't see that it's painted. It looks seamless and smooth. I'm talking about paint that looks like paint, right? Like you can see smudges.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
You can see imperfections. There's clumps of paint. There's blotches missing paint, but then there's other parts with lots of paint. Like it looks painted. I've seen that, but I've also seen like spray paint where like something looks spray painted. But again, it looks like paint. Like the point of it is that it looks like there's paint on it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But not in the way of like something is distressed and so it has paint on it. Like not like, I don't know, I had this pair of cargo pants for many years that I actually did finally donate. But this pair of like beige tan cargo pants had like fabricated paint on it, like fake paint. But like only just little dots as though I was a painter and I had gotten a little bit of paint on the pants, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
That is not the trend that I'm talking about, okay? I'm not talking about like, manufactured organic distressing like that. Okay. I'm talking about like, it is a design choice to take paint and like paint all over the garment and then have it be imperfect. And like, that is the garment looks like it was painted by a person, not like paint accidentally got on the garments.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Let's be clear about that. To be honest, I quite like it. I actually quite like it. I don't think I own anything that is painted like that, although absolutely insane story time that I'm mortified to tell. And honestly, I don't know why I'm telling it right now. Maybe I should save the story for later, but...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I got a new laptop and I was like, I am so fucking bored of having the same exact design on my laptop, which by the way, is the design that Apple created. Okay. Which is a great design, by the way, big fan of Apple. Okay. Love the company. But I was just sick of like, I've been looking at the same sort of laptop for so many years. And I was like, I just want something different.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I want, you know, to decorate it in some sort of way that's interesting. But I was sort of stumped for a bit because I didn't want to go buy a bunch of stickers and put stickers on it because that's, to me, it reminds me of like being a middle schooler because that's what I did with my laptop in middle school. It just, it didn't feel right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And I don't know, like buying like a snap-on sort of case, like that's cool, but that wasn't personalized enough. I was like, I want to do something personalized. I want to personalize my laptop. And I was online and I was like on some sort of shopping website. I don't even remember which. And I came across these Margiela boots, right? And the Margiela boots were painted white.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
They were black boots with white paint on it. And you could see the black boot coming through because the paint was sort of imperfect. And I had bought the black laptop. So I was like, hmm, what if I painted all white paint on my black laptop and let the black sort of peep through sort of like this Margella boot? And so I got out some acrylic paint. I Googled it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I was like, what paint works on a laptop? And it said acrylic, which actually ended up not being true. But I'll get to that part of the story later. Anyway, painted all over it with white. I was like, that looks actually not bad. Like I kind of liked it. But then I was like, what if I painted an Apple on top of the Apple logo that looks like a real Apple. So then I did that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I saw this at least in three of the recent shows that I looked at. To me, this is not timeless, okay? This is absolutely not timeless. Do I think that it's sometimes interesting and cool looking? Yes. But I have a really hard time with something that truly serves no purpose, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And then I fell in love with it. Then it started to chip off immediately. And I was like, fuck. So then I bought a plastic case and put it on there. And now it's safe. My painting on my laptop is safe. It is so weird that I did that. But that was inspired by the Margiela boot that is all painted or whatever. So it's clear that I do like this, right? Do I think it's timeless? Probably not.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
No, I don't think so. Because again, I think such a strong design choice like that, such a strong choice of material, choosing to paint stiff paint onto clothing, choosing to make the texture that imperfect, just the overall look of it, I think is so extreme that it is not timeless, but I like it enough that I fully painted on my goddamn laptop. So clearly I like it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
A laptop that like, I, it's like a brand new laptop. And I'm like, I'm just going to paint on it. It was, it was crazy. It was a crazy thing to do. It was very weird. But yeah, I like it. But I don't think it's timeless. But I do think it's actually a cool way to potentially upcycle pieces of clothing that you have that you're bored of.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like if you have a pair of black boots that have like a big scuff on them and you're like, fuck, like I don't know how to fix this like big scuff. Maybe you take it in and they're like, eh, like you should probably just buy a new pair of boots like this pair of boots, the big scuff. is kind of too big, can't fix it, you know, sorry. But the boots are still totally good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
You could take a bunch of paint and fucking paint on them and give them a whole new look and it'll look fucking cool. So, you know, I think there's a lot of value in that trend. I actually quite like it. I actually tried to do that once with jeans and I actually did wear them a few times, but I think my choice of paint and my paint job was not great. And so...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
They did not stand the test of time for me. Anyway, that's all I have to say. That is it for today's episode of Trendy or Timeless. I hope that you enjoyed it. And if you did, tune in to Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. I do Trendy or Timeless every once in a while, but I also do other fun stuff. So tune in if you'd like. Anything Goes is on YouTube now, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But as always, we're on Spotify and all of the other platforms that you stream podcasts. Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes. I'm on social media at Emma Chamberlain and my coffee company is available at chamberlaincoffee.com, at Chamberlain Coffee on social media and in Target, Sprouts, Whole Foods and more stores near you. Check the store locator if you want to find us in store.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
That's all I have for today. I love you all and I appreciate you all. And if it was up to me, I would just talk about fashion every day. I don't know why I love talking about it so much. I have no fucking idea what I'm talking about. What am I even saying? You know what I'm saying? I'm just fucking saying shit. I'm just yapping, yapping, yapping about God knows what.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I'm pulling shit out of my ass. But let me tell you, there's nothing I love more. I just love it. And I appreciate you hanging out with me while I do it. That's all I got. All right. I love you all. I appreciate you all. And I'll talk to you all very, very soon. Goodbye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like, okay, so when the shirt is being worn improperly like this, or, you know, there's a double shirt element happening, like, a shirt sewn onto another shirt, it's not making the shirt easier to wear. It doesn't make the shirt more attractive, right? Like it's not serving any purpose at all. It's not as comfortable. It's not as functional of a garment. And it actually doesn't look better.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And for a long time, this worked for me. My social media addiction was cured. But then I discovered YouTube Shorts. And over the last few months, my addiction to YouTube Shorts has now just completely erased all of the work I've done to manage my social media addiction. So yes, I did have to delete YouTube off of my phone because I could not go to the bathroom without scrolling on YouTube Shorts.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like, I think an alternative to this that is timeless would be like layering three shirts, but wearing them properly. OK, so an example of that would be like wearing a white long sleeve T-shirt. with a beige short sleeve t-shirt over that with like a dark gray tank top over that, okay? You're wearing three shirts at once. You can see that. There's a lot of shirts going on. But it fits good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
You know, it looks clean. It looks cool. In fact, I love that. Like, that's something I really love right now is layering a fuck ton of shirts. And the only challenge with it is that sometimes it's a bit uncomfortable if you're not layering the right kind of shirts.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like, you need to make sure that things aren't too tight and like the base layer is tight and then the middle layer is a little less tight and the top layer is... A little less tight, it's not the easiest thing to do, right? But when done right and when you have the right fitting pieces in your closet for it, it looks cool and it's actually quite comfortable. I think that that's great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But the idea of sewing a shirt onto another shirt and it's draping off and it looks kind of confusing and weird... It's not flattering. It's not structurally interesting. Like I haven't seen it done in a way that looks really good. It tends to look a bit awkward. And so I don't think it's timeless. Like I think it's probably exciting maybe every few years.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Thank you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
you know, like taking the mundane and deconstructing and making it into something brand new, using, you know, duplicates of itself to make it interesting. Like I get that. I get the vision. I bet it happens every few years, but it seems to be back right now with tops. And I'm just not obsessed. I'm not obsessed with it. And I do think it's trendy. I don't think it's going to last much longer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I cannot say this for sure, but I bet it comes in every 10 years. Like I bet 10 years ago, this was on the runway. And I bet 10 years before that, this was on the runway. And in between, it was not. That's my guess. I could be totally fucking wrong. So do not take that as fact. And I have no clue what I'm talking about.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But I bet that this is something that just comes in like every 10 years when designers are feeling like they want to reinvent the basic, you know? Okay, next, I have been seeing so many fur coats. It felt like every runway show that I looked at had at least one fur coat. And even the shows that didn't have full fur coats... at least had fur details.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Fur around the neck, fur around the wrists, little fur details. I do think fur is timeless for the most part. I don't think there's any point in history over the last how many years where fur looked bad. I think there are times when fur looks bad, you know, if it's like a bright pink fur coat, that's obviously not timeless, but like a simple neutral fur coat, you kind of can't go wrong.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I mean, I'm personally not super into it. It's not really my personal style, but I think when it comes to classic neutral fur, I think it's kind of timeless. I do. Majority of the coats that I saw were pretty neutral, but I did see some more extreme ones. Some leopard print, some perhaps in weird colors.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I'm not remembering perfectly, but because majority of them were neutral and timeless, I'm just going to say overall that the fur coat is timeless. Because I think, yes, it can be not timeless, but it's because it's deviating from the classic, right? And majority of what I'm seeing right now is classic. So I don't know. You probably won't catch me wearing a fur coat anytime soon.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I mean, if my stylist, Jared, and I decide, wait a minute, we want to wear a fur coat. Don't judge, okay? Because we're unpredictable when we're together and come up with weird ideas. But when it comes to my own wardrobe, when it comes to what I'm wearing on a daily basis, it's not a fur coat. It's just not. But I do think that they're timeless. Okay, next.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I could not... go to sleep without watching at least a few YouTube shorts beforehand. Like I fully became addicted. And so I had to delete it off of my phone. I'm talking about my main phone, like the phone, the healthy phone that doesn't have all the social media apps on it. It's still downloaded on the unhealthy phone, but I don't go on that one. So on my main phone, I got nothing, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
This is a very oddly specific trend, so just stick with me. Semi-realistic photographic faces and bodies printed onto clothing. OK, like a dress that looks like it's see through and you can see the body through it. You know, a shirt that is printed in such a way that it looks like what a person wearing a cardigan would look like. Does that make sense?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like, OK, like the shirt looks like a 3D printed cardigan with like the folds in it. And like with the buttons sort of bent a little bit as though like a body is wearing the cardigan, but it's like 3D printed onto like a mesh shirt, okay? Or another example would be like a face, like somebody's face, like printed onto a garment, very large, like very large face, like printed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I've seen quite a few variations, but I would say the most popular is almost like, maybe we should call it x-ray clothing. where it's like a 3D printed naked body printed onto a shirt or a dress. So it almost looks like the piece of see-through and you can see body, but it's just printed on. That's the most common. And I saw that time and time again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But there were other versions of this too that I feel like are similar enough that I consider them to be the same. But that was the most common one. I think this is cool. I think it's smart. I think it's interesting. I think it's edgy. I think it's kind of tongue in cheek. It's like a bit silly. Sometimes it's sort of can either fall under like cool, edgy, badass. almost like smart ass.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like it kind of has one of two vibes. It's either kind of cool, edgy, smart ass, or it's silly, funny, sort of sweet, quirky. And I quite like it. I'm not obsessed with it. It's not like something I'm passionate about. But I like it. But I do not think it's timeless. I don't. Particularly the nude body, like the naked body trend where it looks like an x-ray is showing through the clothes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
That, I think, is trendy because it's not like you can wear that everywhere. Do you know what I'm saying? It's not super functional. And it is very edgy and like a statement. And I think... For that reason, it's just trendy. I also think it's trendy too, because I feel like modesty as well kind of comes in and out of style. And it's definitely not like a modest choice, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
When it comes to bodies sort of being printed onto clothing that are not nude, okay? Like the example I gave of this sweater, where it's almost like you took a photo of somebody wearing a sweater and then printed that onto a shirt, right? I think that that's a bit less trendy than the nude trend, but I think what's truly timeless is the sweater itself, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like I think the concept of printing one type of garment onto another, making a long sleeve t-shirt look like a long sleeve cardigan, I think that sort of concept is a bit silly, is a bit tongue in cheek,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And I think even though it's, you know, maybe a bit more wearable than the nude trend, I think the fact that it is sort of a novelty, it is sort of like this sort of tongue in cheek, almost humorous sort of choice. I think the problem with a joke is that if you tell it over and over again, it gets old. And I think that's what happens with that. You know, it's funny the first few times you see it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
So, it was announced about a month ago that I'm going to be acting in my first movie. And this is a huge plot twist, okay? Pun intended. It's a massive plot twist in my life. To all of you, because you've all known me for my entire career as a YouTuber and podcaster who's themselves. That's what I built my career on. But it's also a plot twist to me, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
That goes against the entire ethos of my career thus far. And stop trying to tell me what to do. That's the other thing. I'm very rebellious. And when people tell me what to do, I tend to do the opposite. So I think it wasn't helpful that in the very beginning, I was told I should be an actor. I was so closed off to the idea of acting that I said I'd never do it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
I didn't go into this like, I'm gonna book a role. Yeah, I'm going to book a role. That's my goal for this year. I went into it like, I just want to try this and see what happens, you know? But once I got over the cringe of it, I just loved doing it. I loved analyzing the scenes. I loved trying to figure out who my character is. I loved making the scene my own. I loved improvising.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
I loved it all. I loved every single part of it. And I ended up just having fun doing the auditions. And so anytime I had extra time and there was an audition in my inbox, I was like, fuck it, let's do this thing. And I would just do it. I had no expectations. And let me tell you, I've done... Not, I will say I haven't done as many auditions as the classically trained actor.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
Like most actors are doing audition after audition, after audition, after audition, like 50 a month. You know what I'm saying? I couldn't dedicate my entire life to this, but anytime I could dedicate time to it, I would. And I got a lot of no's. OK, I got a lot of no's. I wasn't right for a lot of stuff. I got shut down a lot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
And what I was really grateful for was I didn't feel like I had a leg up because of, you know, my YouTube career, my podcast career. I really did think that that would give me a leg up. You know, I was like, am I going to like get this role because I have followers on Instagram? Like, I don't know. Sometimes that's how stuff works in this industry. Absolutely not.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
I was relieved to find that they do not give a fuck. These casting directors are like, are you good? Are you right for this role? And for a lot of the roles I wasn't, or they didn't like my take, whatever. And it was totally fine. I didn't care. I'm very fortunate that in this thus far, I've had no ego. I don't care. It's just fun. And now I'm going to be in a movie.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
Now I'm going to be in a movie. I did get a role. And I will say, I'm not going to talk too much about this role yet because actually I haven't even started filming yet. I start filming next week and I film for a very short period of time. Like I'm lucky. It's a perfect sized part for my first part. I'm not like in the entire movie. I'm in a chunk of it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
I really didn't want to be the biggest star in a movie for my first project. I wanted to be... kind of the perfect supporting character. You know what I mean? Not like a background character that's in one tiny scene. Listen, I'd do that too. That'd probably be really fun. But I mean, that wasn't ideal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
I wanted something that would really give me a taste of what this is like, but also not fully ride on me. I'm not ready to be the lead in a movie. I haven't This is my first time being in a movie. And to be honest, and maybe I'm completely delusional and maybe the movie will come out and everyone will be like, Emma was terrible in that movie. She's a terrible actor. She should never act again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
Weirdly, like, I'm not afraid. I had a lot of imposter syndrome when I first started auditioning. But once I really just started having fun with it, the imposter syndrome, for the most part, went away. I feel prepared for this role because I think my life has prepared me for this role.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
You know, in a weird way, I've been studying people and using my body as a tool to create interesting imagery for a long time. All of these things have led to this and I'm just excited to try it. And listen, am I going to become a full-time actor? I don't know. What I learned from this experience is to never say never. I could have never predicted this. This is a massive plot twist.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
Like that was my answer to the question. Like if I was in an interview and I was asked, would you ever consider acting? My answer was no, absolutely not. And now I'm gonna be in a movie. Okay, so what happened, right? How did that happen? Well, that's what we're gonna discuss today, okay? How I went from saying never to saying yes. Thank you so much for watching.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
Like, an insane plot twist. There's no reason to say never about something that's ultimately harmless, right? Like, Justin Bieber was on to something when he said never say never. Because who knows? Like, now I'm playing guitar. It's like, fuck, watch me come out with an album. I don't even know. I don't know anymore. I don't know what's happening. I'm... it's going against my own moral compass.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
I was so against me going into genres of entertainment that I am not classically trained in, that I'm not known for participating in. But I think what I've realized is for me, I just want to do things that excite me and are fun for me. And if that means making music, okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
If that means making a movie, being in a movie, you know, being a tool for, you know, the writers and directors who are creating a movie, okay, there it is. If I want to write and direct a movie, okay. If I want to make a reality TV show, sure. If I want to make a really shitty painting, okay, great. If I want to make a YouTube video, cool. If I want to make a podcast, great. Who cares?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
You know, like I had these rigid rules for myself, like, no, we don't do that. And here's why. But why not? If I think I can add something to a space, I'm going to try to add to it. And I never thought I'd be saying this, but I really do think and I hope that I have something to add in the world of film. And you know what?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
Even if it's just me being a background character, even if it's literally me in like a dog suit, no one even knows it's me and I'm acting. Like whatever it is, if I think I can add something, I'm not gonna let limiting beliefs get in my way anymore. I'm just gonna give it a try. And that's what I'm doing now. There's something so freeing about letting yourself try things.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
Recently, I've been painting and I've been playing guitar and I'm so bad at these things. I'm horrible at these things. But I'm really enjoying doing them. And sometimes I even share these things online with the internet. And to some people, it's like, why are you sharing this? You're not good at it. But to other people, it's like, wait, this is inspiring that you're trying this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
You know what I mean? And that's all I have to discuss today. I'm so curious to see how this goes. I'm just as curious as you are. I have no clue how this is going to go. We're all going to find out together on the big screen, baby. Yeah. Fuck yeah. So keep an eye out for Forbidden Fruits, my first movie role. There are so many amazing ladies in this movie who, like, don't watch it for me, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
Watch it for everyone else in this movie, okay? It's going to be really incredible. I'm so excited. I, like, am obsessed with the script. I read the script, like, I can't stop reading the script over and over again because it's so good and it's so perfect. And I just well, I also should be reading the script over and over again because it's my job now to read the script over and over again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
But I would read it anyway, like even if like I didn't get the part, I would still be reading the script every night before I go to bed. Like it's my Bible, you know, because it's so good and it's just it's so well written and it's I'm just so excited. I'm just so excited. So we'll see how it goes. We'll all find out together and wish me luck. Anyway, that's all I have to discuss for today.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
I hope you all enjoyed this episode. And if you did, new episodes every Thursday and Sunday. Okay, I'm not a full-time actor yet, all right? So I'm still, we're still doing the podcast. Okay, I'm still here because this is my initial passion, okay, in my life. New episodes every Thursday and Sunday. Watch on Spotify and YouTube. Listen anywhere. Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
I'm on social media at Emma Chamberlain. And my coffee company is everywhere. Well, it's like, it's not everywhere, but it's, It's online. It's in grocery stores. It's at the Westfield Century City Mall. Chamberlain Coffee. Check it out. All right. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. It was a joy as always. I love you all. I appreciate you all. And I will be talking to you in a few days.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
So this is not goodbye. This is see you later. Love you. Bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
Feed by hand for a playful moment, in a bowl for a creamy treat, or as a topper to make mealtime fun. Visit TemptationsTreats.com to learn more. Now, let's get back to the episode. Let's go back to those meetings in the beginning of my career when I was building out a team. Being told that the ultimate goal in entertainment should be to be an actor really made me angry. It bothered me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
And I really don't think that these agents meant any harm. I really do think that they're trained classically to be like, well, digital entertainment, modern entertainment is a stepping stone to traditional entertainment. You know, this is all that they know. This is the world that they live in. acting being the pinnacle.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
And I do not think that they were trying to insult me or steer me in the wrong direction. I really do genuinely think that they just couldn't comprehend the idea that being a YouTuber, being a podcaster, being yourself is a sustainable career. You know, I think at the time it was so new, it was incomprehensible. But as a 17, 18 year old, I was stubborn. And so this sort of pissed me off.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
And I eventually did get an agent who completely understood my dream of just being myself and that being my job. And we have a beautiful relationship. I absolutely adore this woman. She is still my agent to this day. And then as my career progressed over the years, I started getting asked more and more like, would you ever act? Would you ever act?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
I didn't pursue a career in entertainment to one day be an actor. That was never the goal. In fact, I remember when my career on YouTube really started to pick up and it became time to sort of build a team around me, managers, agents, whatever. And I remember being in meetings with agents and them just saying to me, so you want to be an actor, right? And I was like, no, I want to be a YouTuber.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
By journalists and interviews and actors and directors in this industry that I meet at events. You know, I started getting asked more and more. Being asked in a more sweet sort of way like that made me rethink it again in a less rebellious sort of way. And I came to the same conclusion, but it was a bit different.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
I didn't want to be an actor, not because I was rebelling against agents that told me I should. I didn't want to act because number one, I wasn't passionate about it. Also, I grew up watching YouTube. I didn't grow up watching movies as much. I absolutely watched movies and I absolutely adore movies, but I actually have a complicated relationship with movies.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
I often sit down to watch a movie and I hate it and then I feel trapped. And so there are a lot of movies that shaped me as a child, shaped me as a young adult, have seriously moved me that, you know, I'm obsessed with. But I don't know, like my relationship with movies has always been complicated.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
And growing up, I watched YouTube because I didn't have cable until I was like 15, maybe 14, 15, maybe 12. I don't know. But anyway, I didn't have cable television. I went to the library and got DVDs, which, you know, sometimes I'd get movies and stuff. But I ended up really loving YouTube. And that became my main source of entertainment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
And in a way, you know, the way that a lot of young people feel about movie stars, I felt about YouTubers. You know, the posters I wanted to put up on my walls were not of Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio. I wanted to put posters on my wall of Rhett and Link. The YouTubers. Do you know what I'm saying? I grew up passionate about YouTube. I just never felt passionate about movies.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
And so that was one reason why I didn't want to act. Reason number two was because I didn't want to get nepotismed in. Now, I'm not... A nepo baby. Okay. My parents are not famous. They're not in the entertainment industry. They're not in actually any industry that would benefit me in my career at all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
My mom used to manage an electricity company and then managed like she was like a manager, an office manager. Uh, for different companies, my dad was an electrician and then later became a painter. Okay. I did not benefit from nepotism. However, in a weird way, I have my own form of nepotism already. with myself, okay? Because I built a career on YouTube and now I'm a public figure.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
In a way, if I were to want to enter into another industry that's adjacent to mine, acting, music, theater, Broadway, like all of these different, you know, forms of entertainment, if I wanted to enter into those industries, it's going to be much easier for me to do that now than it would be if I was just starting from scratch. Right. So technically, I'm not benefiting from nepotism.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
Technically, I have arrived at the place that I've arrived to completely on my own. But if I wanted to enter into another space, in a way, I kind of have nepotism. But it's just my own. It's nepotism from myself. Right. okay, I already have an agent. I have a team. I know acting agents. I know directing agents. I know writing agents. I know these people. I've met them all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
I have connections now that could allow me to get involved easier. And that really bothered me as well because I take a level of pride in the way that I've built my career sort of from scratch. And the idea of Using that to potentially get opportunities easier in other areas bothers me. And last but not least, I know how cutthroat acting is. I know how brutal it is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
Memorizing all these lines, doing a self-tape, sending it in, getting rejection after rejection after rejection, doing 40 self-tapes, doing 50, going into 12 auditions a week, getting rejected, rejected, rejected. And the thought that I might take the place of someone who is dedicating their life to this craft, like it made me sick. And so I stood really firm in that for a really long time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
This is not a stepping stone for me. This is the final destination. I want to be a YouTuber. And I remember being so frustrated. Why does acting seem to be the final destination? What's wrong with just being a YouTuber? And I became very stubborn about this. And I feel like these early experiences in my career of being told that I should be an actor, that that should be my final destination.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
It doesn't make sense. And these are all the reasons. I had a very solid perspective on it. So how did I get to the point where I was like, all right, I'll try it. I'll dip my toe in. How did I go from that to, to saying, okay, you know what? I might actually try this. Well, weirdly, it started with my interest in fashion. This was completely unintentional. I love fashion.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
I'm obsessed with fashion. I'm passionate about fashion. I have been for many, many years. But in my late teen years, I really started to get involved. I got invited to my first fashion show in Paris, Louis Vuitton. Going to that fashion show expanded my mind to the possibilities. It... Going to that show exposed me to a whole other dimension of fashion that I had never even paid attention to.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
You know, the world of haute couture. You know what I mean? I'm never going to speak with a French accent again. I'm so sorry. That was horrible. It was horrifying. Hopefully I don't get casted in any roles where I need to do a French accent because that will happen again. And that's not good. I started going to fashion shows. I started working with these very fancy designer brands.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
And I grew this love and passion for the art of it all. And that led me to doing more editorial photo shoots where I'm wearing wigs and doing editorial makeup with, you know, eye looks that are colorful and, you know, wild and wearing these runway pieces and posing in weird ways for magazines or even for my coffee company. I really fell in love with doing these sorts of editorial photo shoots.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
And I never really thought about why I liked it as my love for it was developing. But in retrospect, it's clear to me that I loved getting to be a character. There was something so sort of cathartic about it for me because I had built my entire career thus far on being myself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
And once I got over the cringe element of posing for the camera, I really fell in love with getting to be a character, you know, putting on these outfits, these costumes almost, if you will, and trying to embody them in a way that matches the outfit, matches... you know, the theme for the shoot. And in a lot of ways, this was sort of acting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
It's obviously not acting, but it was 10% of what acting is, you know, putting on a costume and changing your behavior to match that costume. I just grew a real love for this. And, you know, over the years, I've done more and more of it. It dawned on me at a certain point, probably a year and a half ago or maybe two years ago now. I was like, I love doing this so much.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
How can I chase this feeling? Like, what else can I do that sort of is like this? Because this is clearly very fun for me. And it dawned on me that what I like about it is being a character, not being myself. Maybe I shouldn't have said never about all of the acting stuff. Maybe I'll give it a try.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
And it's interesting because it was really hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of me giving acting a try, but not being a TV buff, a movie buff. I was like, is this okay? Am I allowed to dip my toe into this if I'm not technically the textbook actor who is obsessed with watching every single television show, studying every single director?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
I feel like these moments made me stubborn and completely closed off to the idea of acting. And so for the last few years, I've been like, I'm never going to be an actor. I have no interest in acting. and leave me alone. I just want to be myself. That's what I built my career on. That's what I want to do for the rest of my life. I don't want to pretend to be something else.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
I don't know if I'm allowed to be interested in this. My interest in acting has nothing to almost do with the final product, if that makes sense. I like the feeling of not being myself. I like the feeling of embodying someone else. And then as I started thinking about this more, it dawned on me that something that I'm also passionate about is analyzing and discussing people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
There's nothing I love more than analyzing people and discussing people. I find other human beings so fascinating. And I A great example of this is on the weekends, there's nothing I love more than sitting at a cafe and just watching people. I love people watching. I think a lot of people love people watching. It's a very normal human thing to enjoy. We find other humans fascinating.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
But I will say that I've always been a little bit more interested in other people than, say, my parents or my friends. I'm like obsessed with analyzing people and figuring people out, connecting all the dots. You know, why is somebody like this? Why do they do the things that they do? What traits are connected? You know, I don't know. Like I've always been obsessed with analyzing people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
And a lot of what acting is, is having an understanding of people to the point where if you're assigned a character, you can create that character in your head and then be it, you know? I think me being somebody who loves to analyze people goes hand in hand with acting, right? So it really, I was like, oh my God, what is happening?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
A few years ago, I'm having these epiphanies and I'm like, what is actually happening? Like what is happening? I literally, this is the one thing I said I'd never do. Actually, I also said I'd never make music and now I'm learning how to play guitar. So I'm fully just a walk. I'm a hypocrite. I'm a liar. I'm a hypocrite. I like, I mean, I'm not writing any music.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
I can barely play a song on guitar right now, but I don't know. I was so against music. doing anything outside of my little entertainment bubble, YouTube, podcast, whatever. Like I was so against it that it was really uncomfortable to be having this epiphany that I am actually interested in this thing. And so I started auditioning. I didn't want to take a class, to be honest.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
And this is a controversial take, but I really wanted to discover this my own way and teach myself in a way that's intuitive and And if that lands me roles, great. If it doesn't, great. But I want to do it my own way. And so I started doing some auditions. I will say I have some actors in my life. One incredible actor in my life is Owen, my best friend, Owen Thiel. He helped me so much.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
He's so talented and so good. And he's always been like, Emma, please, you have to act, which I was like, why? Why? What are you talking about? Since I met Owen, Owen was like, I just know in my gut that you will act. You have to act. You're made for it. And I was like, why? I never understood. Anyway, so the second I showed interest, he was so excited. And he helped me with so many tapes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
We did a lot of tapes together. But I also have other people in my life who did theater. I have a lot of actors in my life. So I had a lot of support and a lot of people around me who were down to just fuck around and do these tapes with me. and I ended up having a lot of fun with it. I will say in the beginning, it was really embarrassing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
never say never
I was really uncomfortable, similar to how I was the first time I did an editorial photo shoot. It's really vulnerable and weird to be a character, not only in front of the camera, but also in front of whoever you're reading the scene with. It was so uncomfortable for me. I did get a little bit discouraged in the beginning, but I also, I didn't go into this with high expectations.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
For the last few years, I've been trying to quit nicotine. And I know it sounds cliche, but it has been one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. Like, when they tell you in those anti-smoking, anti-vaping commercials that nicotine is incredibly addictive and incredibly challenging to quit... They are not exaggerating to prevent you from smoking or vaping, okay? It's true.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
But the reason why I got my own was because whenever I'd be around this person, I would use theirs and then they wouldn't be around anymore and I would have severe withdrawals. And then at a certain point, I'd see them again. I would feel better because I would have it. And then I'd withdraw again. So I was almost constantly in a state of withdrawal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
And that was just impossible for me emotionally. Like it was like every week I was like starting again and stopping again. And it was just too much. And it was getting in the way of things that I just, I couldn't, I was like, I can't live like this. And so I ultimately relapsed. But here's the thing that's complicated, right? It's like, I am an adult, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
I feel like a failure. I feel weak. I feel ashamed. It sucks to sit here right now and tell the story. But I know from my experience trying to quit thus far that this is an important story because quitting anything is not linear. And to expect it to be linear is to be setting yourself up for disappointment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
I cannot ask the people in my life to quit things for my own benefit. I can't, you know, I can ask people to not do things around me maybe, or, or find a way to, but see, here's the problem. I didn't even want to do that because I was like, deep down, I want to have the vape. You know what I mean? Like I want to have a little moment with the vape.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
So I, I don't want to say, Hey, can you not do that around me? Because then that means I don't get to have it anymore. That's my own battle. It is not anyone else's responsibility in this world to protect me from my own addiction. The truest test of the effectiveness, really, of your quitting is being around it and seeing if you can handle it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
And it's very clear that I couldn't, but I allowed myself to be around it because deep down, I think I wanted it, you know? And so this was my own fault. This is not the fault of anyone who had a vape around me at all. And we can all have different opinions about that. Some people might say, if you know that somebody quit nicotine, you should then hide your nicotine from them. I'm sorry.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
I don't want people to be walking on eggshells around me. I want people to be able to be free. If they want to fucking hit their vape, and blow it in my face, they should. I want to be at a place with nicotine where I can resist temptation. I am not asking people to behave differently.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
Listen, again, if somebody were to come to me and say, I'm quitting nicotine, whenever I see it, it really makes me want it. Do you mind not doing it around me? I'd be like... Duh, 1,000%. I have no problem with doing that for other people. There is nothing wrong with others finding that that's the most effective way for them to quit. For me, I want to quit in a way where I can be around it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
No one needs to change their behavior. That's what I'm striving for. Clearly, it didn't work for me, okay? Because here I am, vape in pocket. Now, here's where I'm at now, right? I'm dealing with a lot of negative emotions towards myself. I feel discouraged. It's hard in moments like this not to feel like a lost cause. Like, why even try to quit?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
You know, what's the point if I'm ultimately just doomed for relapse? Like, why even try? I've been experiencing that. I've been experiencing low self-esteem because I sort of see myself as a failure. I feel ashamed of my lack of discipline. I catch myself looking down upon myself a lot. I've also experienced a lot of fear of karma in a way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
And this is sort of irrational, I think, and not actually necessarily healthy, but I'm just being completely transparent about the way I've been feeling. I think part of me feels like having this nicotine addiction is wrong. It's going to give me sort of a bad karma effect.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
But I think that that's rooted in some issues that I have with perfectionism and being the most morally perfect person so that nothing bad can happen to me. Like I have issues with that. So I think that's sort of more of an Emma problem than something that maybe you might experience if you're going through the same thing. But I've experienced a lot of negative emotional responses as a result.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
But I also am fully addicted to the substance again. The reason why I became addicted to it in the first place is because it makes me feel good in a weird way. It also can make me feel sort of anxious. It can also make me feel sort of dissociated. But this time around, I've chosen a specific vape product that has less nicotine in it. It's a lower percentage. by probably about 50%.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
And I think my expectation for this experience to be linear led me to feeling the negative feelings that I'm feeling now. And I think they're a bit too harsh because I really thought this wouldn't happen again. In a weird way, a perfect, gorgeous, beautiful story of quitting is less realistic. And I think for those of you out there who are trying to quit nicotine, I think it's comforting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
And so I'm experiencing less anxiety, less dissociation and stuff like that. And my addiction is a bit weaker, you know, as a result, but it's still there. It's like if it made me feel completely horrible, I wouldn't be addicted again. So it does sort of make me feel good in a weird way. I come to you now at this place where it's in my pocket.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
Like I can't lie to you and say, well, but today's day one. I threw the thing in the trash. I didn't. I didn't. And the experience of quitting last time was so exhausting that I'm, to be completely transparent with you, I'm dreading doing it again. I know I will be doing it again. I know I need to get back on the horse. But it's tough. You know, morale is kind of low.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
I think the first time you quit, you know, you have this sort of hope in a way. You're excited. You're like, this is the last time I'm ever going to do this. And... when it's not, it's discouraging and it makes you feel like, well, why would I even try this again? Why would I go through that grief all over again if I'm so prone to relapsing?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
And that's sort of where I'm at now is this really uncomfortable place of knowing that at some point I'm going to need to begin this journey again, ideally as soon as possible. But I'm also feeling discouraged and like, I don't know how to make this time different. And I'm stuck with that of like, how do I make this time different?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
And maybe the answer is telling everybody, hey, I'm sorry, I'm quitting. I need a year or two without vapes around me. without any nicotine around me? Maybe that's the answer. I'm thinking about it. I don't necessarily want that to be the answer, but it might be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
The answer might be, unfortunately, you just have to do the same thing over again and next time just be more disciplined about not hating people's vapes. You know what I mean? I don't know what the answer is. And so I'm sitting here now thinking about it and trying to figure out how to make next time different. But I really think what the moral of this story is, is quitting isn't linear.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
Nothing in life is linear. And I'm not trying to put a positive spin on this to make an excuse for my relapse, if you will. I'm not trying to make excuses. I'm not trying to put a little cute bow on it and say, it's totally fine. Like this is good. It's because it's not, it's not good, but it's also normal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
It's complicated with something like this because on one hand, you know, you don't want to almost be so gentle with yourself that you let yourself fall back into it. And you're so gentle with yourself that you're like, you know what? It's okay. Like, I don't need to quit again. You should feel a level of frustration with yourself, I think, when you fail, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
regression
You need to feel a little bit of negative emotion, but you don't need to feel so much negative emotion that it's impacting your self-esteem and it's impacting... The way you see the world, it's like making you pessimistic. It's like making you depressed. It's like, you know, that is not good. You should feel just enough negative emotion that you're like, okay, I want to do better next time.
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I want to better myself. Does that make sense? You don't want to be so chill with yourself that then you have no reason to quit because you're cool with what you're doing. You know what I mean? But you also don't want to be so self-deprecating that you're destroying your mental state. So all of that to say, I'm not trying to present this in a sweet, overly sensitive way.
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That's not the moral of the story. The moral of the story is not like, it's totally okay to vape. We should all do it. That's not the moral of the story. The moral of the story is that for better or for worse, quitting, healing, all of these different things are not linear experiences. We should strive to have the trajectory of our quitting be upward.
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But on that trajectory, there are going to be little dips and valleys, okay? And that's just inevitable. And what I'm trying to teach myself right now is like, this is an opportunity to prove to myself that I can do it, that getting back up and trying again, even when I feel completely discouraged, can lead to success. Like, failing a few times doesn't mean failure forever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I'm trying to get there, but it's tough. I'm trying to accept that this experience is not going to be linear, but it's tough. But I'm not giving up. This journey, it'll last the rest of my fucking life if it has to, but I'm never going to stop trying to quit. Um, me being like, it is in my pocket, but I promise, I promise that I'm quitting. Um, it's really hard. It's really hard.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I hope it's comforting to hear that the experience is not linear and that's okay and that's normal and you're not alone. Let me tell you how this happened. So I think in August of last year, I made the decision, I'm done, okay? And at that time, I wasn't vaping. That wasn't my form of nicotine. I was using the Zin, which is the little nicotine pouches that you put under your lip.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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It's really fucking hard. And anyone who's ever been addicted to nicotine. in a big way understands. It's no joke. It's no joke. I feel like as a kid, I just scoffed at the anti-vaping, anti-smoking, you know, infomercials about how addicting it is, how hard it is to quit, how it can cause a lifelong addiction that is impossible to quit. Like, I always was like, fuck off.
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Like, how addicting can it really be? You know? The kids need to be listening to those infomercials. I swear, someone needs to create anti-vaping infomercials that don't cause kids to rebel. As a kid, I would see shit like that and I'd be like, shut the fuck up, which is douchey and rude. But as like a teenager, I don't know, like you're rebellious, you know?
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It's like the infomercials are not effective for young people, which is such a bummer because man, I'd love to not be in this situation. If you haven't ever ingested nicotine in your life, I tell you, don't do it. Don't do it. It's, oh my God, I just, it sounded like a wheeze in my, it wasn't, well, maybe it was. Anyway, don't do it, okay? Don't do it. Don't try it. Don't do it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Anyway, y'all, I really wish I had like a really beautiful conclusion with this is what I learned and this is what you should do at home. And this is what we can all do to make the world a better place and to stop consuming nicotine. You all wake up, people. We can do this. Like, I wish that was the conclusion. But here I am back at square one, confused and discouraged.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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But I hope that the next time we talk about this, maybe I have quit for good that time. All right. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. As always, it's a pleasure. And there's new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. So if you had fun, come back. Come hang out. Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes. I'm on social media at Emma Chamberlain.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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And my coffee company can be found anywhere at Chamberlain Coffee. Not like anywhere. We're not like in every store, but like anywhere you could like find a coffee company like on the internet or whatever. Chamberlain Coffee. I love you all. I appreciate you all. We have fun together and I'll have fun with you again in a few days. All right. I'll talk to you then. Bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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And I think what really inspired me to quit was in California, they banned the product. And I was like, all right, you know what? This is the universe being like, Emma, it's time. Stop playing around. It's time. What you've been using just got banned. That's not a great sign for your health and well-being. You should just be done altogether. And so I did it. I actually did it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I threw everything away. I had no nicotine in the house and I just went cold turkey. Let me tell you, the first month was one of the darkest months of my life. It wasn't, okay, actually, it wasn't one of the darkest. I've had darker months, okay? But it was a dark, dark, dark month. For whatever reason, for me, quitting nicotine is incredibly turbulent.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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And I envy my friends who have been able to wake up one day and just quit and have a little bit of discomfort, but ultimately... get over it pretty quickly. That is not my experience. This first month was agony, pure agony. The nicotine withdrawals caused intense anxiety and dissociation. So like I was constantly in this state of borderline panic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Like I wasn't having panic attacks, but I constantly felt like I was on the verge of having a panic attack. I felt dissociated, like disconnected from my brain and body. kind of spacey, almost like I was in a dream, which is incredibly uncomfortable. But in addition to that, it really triggered my depression.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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It is 1000% true. As a young person, when you become introduced to the concept of nicotine, you're like, how addicting can it really be? It can't be that addicting. No, it is. It is. And when you read the statistics that are like quitting smoking is impossible. Yeah, it makes sense. Checks out. My experience is aligning with the data.
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Like I just got depressed and I had been doing really well, not really experiencing a lot of depressive episodes. So this was really tough. Like Didn't want to get out of bed. You know, having mental breakdowns anytime I had to, you know, go to a social event or do something social for work. My motivation was non-existent. I couldn't get any work done. I was incredibly irritable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I was being irritable with my loved ones. They were struggling with that. They were confronting me about that. More so for like people who are not blood related to me, right? Like my family, like my parents, they get a little bit more of my grumpy side, I would say. But like friends or, you know, romantic relations, like all these types of people, they were seeing a new side of me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Like, what is happening? Like, Emma's so grumpy. Yeah. and I wasn't being like mean or harmful, but I just was irritable. I was irritable. And I explained this to everybody in my life, like, and they totally got it. And they were on my team and they were patient with me, but they were also like, you're not doing well. You know, you're, you're irritable, you're grumpy.
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Like this is definitely impacting you. You know, they were noticing. It was really, really, really brutal. And the only thing that got me through was replacing the oral fixation. Obviously the vape, the zinc, all of these things satisfy my oral fixation. And I couldn't lose that element. Like withdrawing from nicotine was enough. I had to replace the oral fixation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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So I started with chewing a lot of gum. A lot of gum. Wow. I was chewing a lot of gum all day from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed chewing gum, just normal gum, not nicotine gum. But that started to really impact my stomach negatively. There's, you know, artificial sweeteners in chewing gum. And that started to give me serious stomach pain, like unbelievable stomach pain.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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If I chew like one or two pieces of gum over the course of a day, I'm not going to have a problem. But the amount of gum I was chewing, 20, 30 pieces a day, that amount of aspartame, you know, artificial sugar was really, really hard on my stomach. And I started to have... severe stomach pain to the point where I was like, okay, I guess I have to quit the gum.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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But luckily for me, I found aspartame-free gum. And so I was on that for a bit. And that was really helping me for a while. But then I started to get jaw pain from how much gum I was chewing. And And I was like, okay, we need to try something else again. So, and I also think that that gum was also giving me gas.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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It wasn't like severe stomach pain because it was a bit more natural, but it was still, I think, giving me gas. I think anytime you're consuming a large amount of artificial sweetener or really a large amount of anything at all, you're gonna pay a price for that. And I definitely did. So then I moved on to mints. Okay. Because the jaw pain was getting out of control.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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And actually I was chewing so much gum that I was having facial swelling. Okay. My face was swelling up a little bit because I was chewing so much gum and my jaw was inflamed. So it was like making my masseter muscles look huge and puffy. And it just, my face didn't look cute. And I was like, okay, that's where we draw the line.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Honestly, I think this sounds so fucked up, but I think the fact that it was making my face visibly puffy was more upsetting to me than the jaw pain. If it was just the jaw pain, I would have pushed through. But I was like, I don't need the cheeks puffing out. You know, I'm good on that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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So then I moved to mints and I was sucking on these aspartame free mints, same brand as the gum that I was chewing prior. And that worked for a bit. And then I got introduced to the concept of menthol minty toothpicks. And then I started sort of switching between those. So I'd have a toothpick for a bit and then I'd have some mints.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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It has been one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. And I know some of you are familiar with my nicotine addiction because I've made quite a few podcast episodes on it. I haven't made one in a while, and I was really hoping that the next episode I made about nicotine would be my story of successfully quitting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Then I started to realize that the mints were giving me gas to a point that was actually becoming painful. And I was like, why are all these things giving me gas? Like, this is insane. It was so frustrating to me because I was doing so well. At this point, it had been a few months since I had had nicotine. And I was successfully off of it.
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Obviously, I was replacing it in a very extreme way, but technically I was off of it. I'm doing so well. Can the universe just give me something? Please, I'm doing well. Why am I being punished? It just felt so unfair. In this industry, I think in all industries, but I think the entertainment industry in particular, there's a lot of nicotine around.
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Like if I'm on set for something, like shooting a project, it could be an editorial shoot or like commercial. It doesn't matter. There is a vape somewhere. There's someone with a pack of cigarettes somewhere. Luckily, I don't get tempted by cigarettes, so that's never a temptation, but there's always a vape somewhere. There's someone with a zin somewhere. There is a lot of nicotine around.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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When I was working at home, it was pretty easy to resist temptation. But in certain working environments, it was kind of tough. We're all adults. And when we have like a 10-hour shoot day, there's something kind of nice about having a little nicotine during the little off moments. I don't know. It was hard to resist in these environments, but also even in social environments, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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So many young people are addicted to nicotine and it's pretty easy to be like, hey, can I have a little bit of that, you know? So there was a lot of temptation around. At first, I was really good at resisting temptation. Like when I'd gotten to a point where I wasn't really craving it anymore, I kind of missed it, but like it wasn't ruling my world anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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At that point, I was pretty good at resisting temptation. I was also becoming aware of how good I felt without nicotine in my system. You know, my anxiety was lower. My mood was better. I was thinking clearer. Like I just was experiencing all of these incredible things from not having nicotine in my system. And so it made it easier to resist temptation. But at a certain point, I started to cave.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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You know, here and there, I'd be like, hey, can I hit the vape? Hey, you mind letting me hit that? Hey. And I started having occasional little stints of having it, but I did not have my own. Absolutely did not have my own. That was unthinkable at that point. I was fully quit. But see, this was the slippery slope, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Because one day of, you know, hitting someone's vape and you're kind of back in it, you know, you're kind of back in it. Like I would leave the person who had the vape and I'd be craving it. It would hurt a little bit. And for the next 24 hours, I felt a little bit off. It was almost like I was going through withdrawals again. Luckily, the withdrawal period would be shorter.
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It wasn't like a month long. Instead, it was like a day or two long. But I was still having that withdrawal period and it was uncomfortable. And it made me crave it more to the point where next time I had one available to me, I was like, ooh, I really want it. It was almost like I was slowly becoming addicted again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I wanted more than anything for this episode right now to be my story of quitting successfully, how I did it, how you can do it too. But unfortunately, I'm here today with a much less honorable story, and that is the story of my relapse. I was doing so good. I was so close. And then boom, back to it. Vape in pocket. My vape is in my pocket right now. I'm back to square one. And it's so mortifying.
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And like every time I'd have some, it would get a little bit harder to let it go at the end of the day when I wasn't around that person anymore who had it. There wasn't a specific person at this point. It was just like whoever had one around me, right? It would get harder and harder to say goodbye to the vape, right? But I was doing well and I was dealing with the repercussions.
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You know, it would give me brain fog. It would make me irritable. It would. But I was so aware of how it impacted me emotionally that I was able to sort of cover it up because I had experienced those feelings so vividly a few months prior when I quit. I knew that they would pass. I actually kind of felt like, oh, I'm doing pretty good.
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Like, even though there's negative consequences, I'm actually handling the negative consequences super well. And it's almost like the nicotine was convincing me like, you're good. You can have as much as you want. You know how to handle yourself. You're not getting addicted again fully. You know, you're just having a little bit here and there. It's no problem.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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There's like something sinister about the way nicotine and anything addicting will convince you that it's okay that you can have it. You can have a little bit and not fully get addicted again. Or at times even an addiction will sort of convince you that it's okay to be addicted. I've really experienced that with this nicotine addiction.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Like when I was fully addicted, not even planning on quitting. I used to tell myself, everyone smokes. So many people smoke. Fuck it. I don't care. By the way, this is harmful mentality. But this is how I was thinking. I was like, it's normal. Yeah, it's not good for you, but it's normal. So many people do it. I'm a good person and I don't do a lot of bad things for my body.
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I exercise and I eat well and I don't... drink too much. Like I don't drink a lot of alcohol, all these different things. So I was like, I can have a little, I can have a little something, you know, come on. And so that sort of started, that little voice started to creep back in as I'm starting to have more vape in my life.
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I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Hotels.com. I love to travel and I love staying at hotels. There's nothing I love more than walking into a fresh, clean hotel room and just absolutely exploding in it, okay? Putting all my skincare in the bathroom, hanging all my clothes up in the closet, and really making myself feel at home.
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I also love going down in the morning for a buffet breakfast. But booking the right hotel can be hard work if you don't know where to look. Whether I'm traveling for work or for fun, I'm always looking for the best hacks and perks. And if you're like me, let me tell you, the easiest way to book is with Hotels.com. Members save up to 20% and earn rewards on every stay.
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In the money I save on the hotel, I can spend on going out to dinner, maybe doing a little bit of shopping at the hotel gift shop. You know what I mean? This could be you if you sign up at Hotels.com. Become a member for free and save on hundreds of thousands of hotels at Hotels.com. Now, let's get back to the episode.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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It got really bad when some people closer to me who I see more frequently got addicted, okay? That's when it all went to shit. All went to shit. If there is somebody in your close vicinity who's addicted to something that you're trying to quit, it's tough. It's really tough. And I'll give myself credit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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For the first few months of this experience of having somebody in my life close to me being addicted, who I see frequently, at first it was like, I can do this. You know, like I will not let this ruin my progress. But it just got harder and harder. And over the course of a few months, I eventually was fully addicted again. And, you know, I ended up getting my own and I felt disgusting about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
My relationship to clothing and fashion over the years is weirdly similar to my relationship to dating and romance over the years. It started when I was young, in my early teens. And off the bat, it was toxic, okay? I was trying stuff, getting hurt in the process, wasting a lot of resources, failing constantly,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
I recommend closing your eyes and thinking about what colors look good on you. Think about, go through every single color in the rainbow and all the different shades of each color, okay? So close your eyes and think about yourself wearing a red t-shirt. Eh, you don't really like that. So now imagine yourself wearing a maroon t-shirt. Oh, that's kind of nice. What about an orange t-shirt?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Ew, ugly. What about yellow? Ew, ugly. What about green? Oh, kind of nice. What about blue? Ew, kind of nice. What about purple? What about beige? What about navy blue? You know, okay, go through all these different colors and maybe even write them down. Write down the ones that look good on you. So like for me, for example, I know blue looks good on me. I think olive green looks good on me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
The more accessories I have, the better. The more I have, the better. It was all about excess. My fashion mentality was just excess. And in retrospect, I realize now that I had it all wrong for a trillion reasons. Like that was the wrong mindset for more reasons than I can count. off the top of my head. Number one, buying a lot of clothes means having a lot of clutter in your house.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
I think maroon looks good on me. I think gray looks good on me. I know yellow looks really bad on me. I know orange doesn't look good on me. So I sort of narrow it down to the colors that I know look good on me. Now it's time to analyze what you've got, okay? Now in your head, figure out if this palette is cohesive. Figure out what you're missing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
For example, you might have chosen the base color of brown and then concluded that olive green and maroon look good on you. But you're like, that's not enough options. So you kind of want to fill in the gaps. And you might want to fill in the gaps with some neutrals. Like, oh, you know, actually cream would be kind of nice to add to this sort of palette.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And that color actually does look good on me. And, you know, navy blue, I haven't really worn a lot of navy blue, but... I actually think it might look good. And that would actually look good in this palette. So sort of create this palette that makes sense for you, right? And at the end, you should have approximately six to eight colors in your palette.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And they should pretty much all match each other. My personal color palette, if you're wondering... is kind of unusual, but it makes a lot of sense to me. Okay. Black, white, cream, gray. So basically every neutral. Olive green, maroon, and pale blue. That's my color palette. Those colors all look good on me. They all look good together. It just works. And it took me a while to figure it out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
But yours might be navy blue, pale blue, beige, cream, white, light gray, and bright red, like more of a nautical vibe. Or, you know, you might be brown, maroon, dark green, navy, mustard. Everyone's different. You're the only one that can come up with your perfect color palette.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
It makes shopping so much easier when you know what colors look good on you and you know that if you buy something in one of these colors, it will match with all the other stuff in your wardrobe. I can't tell you how many times I've bought stuff and been like, wait, I don't even know how to style this
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
color, like I don't even have stuff that goes with this color and it would just end up collecting dust in my closet because it didn't really match anything else. I didn't even know how to style it. That entire color palette always matches. It always has the same vibe and feel. It always works. So, you know, for example, like I just bought a little olive green tote bag.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
I'm already getting a bunch of use out of it because that color is a part of my color palette and it matches almost every single outfit I put together. You could also start making mood boards. The only thing that's hard about making mood boards is that the people in the photos on the mood boards are not you. So it's not as personalized, which is a valid way to learn and figure out your own style.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
But when it comes to building your own wardrobe, it's best to think about what you look best in.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
However, if you're feeling sort of stumped, like I don't really know what I look best in, or you're one of those people that just looks good in everything and that's causing decision fatigue, go on Pinterest and make a Pinterest board of outfits that you love that sort of, I don't know, feel like your vibe. And then look at what color palette naturally comes up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Like if I were to go on my Pinterest right now, there's an obvious sort of color palette going on. There's a lot of reoccurring colors. Because that's what I'm into right now. That's what I've been wearing recently, right? That just naturally sort of happens. So that could also be another method of figuring out your color palette. From there, we must build the wardrobe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Okay, so step number five is finding staple tops. Now, my recommendation that I think would work for almost anyone would be to find a brand that you love that makes basics and load up on simple silhouettes in colors from your color palette, okay? Tank tops, short sleeve, boxy t-shirt, long sleeve, buttoned up colored shirt, and turtleneck. These are like the staple shapes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
You need the tank tops and the short sleeves for summer. There's, you know, lots of different variations so you can find the one that you like. Maybe you like a scoop neck. Maybe you like a slightly cropped silhouette. Maybe you like a slightly longer silhouette. It's all there for you to decide. Boxy t-shirts are great for layering. Also very comfortable. Also kind of a style choice.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
That's great to have. Coarse long sleeve in turtleneck for the winter. And then I feel like majority of us need a button-up collared shirt every once in a while for something. you know? Now, this is sort of going to be the base top for everything that you wear. I think when it comes to building a capsule wardrobe, it's best to just have a bunch of simple tops, and then you can build from there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And clutter causes anxiety for a lot of us, majority of us. Number two, buying a lot of clothes means decision fatigue. How are you supposed to figure out what to wear when you have a trillion options?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Instead of having a bunch of different intricate tops, it's best to just have all the basic tops in silhouettes that you know, you love, you're top of them. And when it comes to picking the colors, I mean, I think anything from your color palette, but most importantly, the neutrals from your color palette.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And now that that's sort of the base for your top half of your body, step number six would be to find some layering pieces, some exciting layering pieces that can be paired with your basic tops to add dimensions to outfits. And these should be simple enough that they could be reworn over and over again, but exciting enough to add dimension. Okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Like something with text on it, like something that says like star girl, you know what I mean? Or whatever. That's kind of loud. That is very memorable. Okay. It's hard to re-wear that over and over again and make it look and feel different. It has a very distinct style. Something with maybe a more subtle pattern. or a really unique silhouette, but a neutral color.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Those types of things can be styled many different ways. And because they're a bit more subtle, it's not like, oh, she's wearing that shirt again. And some people are very self-conscious of that. So that's why... you know, I'm bringing this up because it doesn't really matter. If you don't care, then great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
But I think, again, the beauty of the capsule wardrobe is that you can create a bunch of different outfits and it's not like, oh, she's wearing that shirt again. It's like, oh, that feels like a different outfit. And that's what's cool about it is that you can get that new fresh feeling while wearing the same pieces over and over again and rotating them, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
So like layering pieces to me are little vests sheer lace mesh tops that you can pair underneath other tops, put over other tops, over shirts, okay, like a boxy button-up or like a quarter zip sort of, you know, boxy top tunics, like slightly baggier, longer shirts that maybe have an interesting silhouette. And these things can be paired with a tank top during the summer. Super cute.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
you end up settling on something that you don't even really like because in order to come up with something that actually makes sense and feels complete and exciting to you, you would have had to spend four hours in your closet just finding the pieces to create that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
During the winter, you can wear your mesh top over a long sleeve shirt. Now it has a completely different feeling. If you have like a lace tank top, you could wear that over a short sleeve for a cute layering moment. You could also wear it over a turtleneck for a cute layering moment. You can wear a tunic over a short sleeve, a long sleeve. Do you see what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
There's all these different options. So seasonally, these things can work time and time again just based on what undershirt you put under them. And I think this is the area where you can have a bit more fun. Pick out layering pieces that are in the brighter colors from your color palette.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
I think the only challenge with these sorts of layering pieces is that they're definitely more diamonds in the rough, right? Like finding a beautiful vest. And by vest, I don't just mean sweater vest. Like this could be any type of vest, a little leather vest. It could be like a mohair vest. It could be... canvas material vest. It could be like a satin sort of vest.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Like there's a bazillion different types of vests, you know, when it comes to sheer lace mesh tops, that's a genre of top that's great for layering, but it could be, there's endless options, right? over shirts, finding the right one that fits right and is the right aesthetic that you're going for. That takes time. Finding the right tunic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Honestly, tunics are weird and most people don't even think of them as an option. I personally like them. I have one or two that I really like as layering pieces, but I didn't even know I wanted a tunic until I found one. A lot of these things are going to find you. It's going to take time to find these things. I
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
It's a lot easier to go out and find the perfect tank top or just go into your own closet and be like, oh, this is my favorite white tank top. This is my favorite black tank top. I've been wearing these for months anyway, for years anyway, you know, I don't need a new one. Those things are easier to find. It's more about the perfect fit, the perfect material for you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Number three, how are you supposed to define your own personal style when you're experimenting with 50 different aesthetics in your packed closet every single day when you go to get dressed? It's very hard to define you in a closet full of a bazillion items. Number four, it's wasteful. It's a waste of money. It's just adding more clothes to the landfill.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And it's definitely a saturated portion of the market, right? There's a lot of basics out there. It's a bit harder to find the unique layering pieces that add the dimension to the look. It's just harder to find. I really encourage you to take your time and let them find you, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And I think the key question to ask yourself when you're looking for these pieces and potentially buying these pieces is... Does this work with at least 75% of my capsule wardrobe? Yes or no? The answer is no. That's not a good layering piece for a capsule wardrobe. And then if the answer is yes, this will match with 75% or more of my wardrobe, then you're good to press go.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
There might be a little while where you're just wearing a lot of basics because you haven't found those layering pieces yet. Be patient. Be patient. You'll find them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
let's move on to bottoms. Okay. The bottom half of the body here. Bottoms are a little bit easier because actually they're hard in their own way. It's easier because you can't really layer with bottoms. Like bottoms are just bottoms. You know what I mean? But they're complicated because I think it's harder to find bottoms that fit perfectly. So here's my recommendation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
In total, approximately 10 pairs of pants, give or take, you know? Let me break it down. I would recommend approximately three pant silhouettes and one or two of each. Honestly, one of each. I don't even think you need more than one of each. But if you really like something, then maybe buy double of it. There's endless types of pants. There's jeans, of course, dress pants.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
They come in so many different shapes and sizes. You have a low waisted, more baggier dress pant. You have a tighter dress pant. You have a cotton dress pant. You have like a stretchy, almost like spandexy sort of dress pant. Like there's so many different types of dress pants. Work pants, like a Dickie, you know, a Carhartt, that's an option.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Maybe you like cotton sort of pants, like something that's like tight around the waist and sort of like a wide leg, like cotton pant. Like there's so many different options, right? And I would say you want to choose approximately three. So like for me, for example, I have a work pant and then I have like two types of dress pants, like two different types of dress pants.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And that's pretty much all I wear for pants. And I think it's nice to have at least one pair of pants be your base color. So for me, it's black. You know, I have a beautiful pair of black dress pants. It's very, very handy to have. I wear them a lot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
But for my other two main pairs of pants, you know, my work pants and then my other pair of dress pants, my favorite pair of dress pants are dark gray. And then my work pants are olive green. So, you know, I have options when it comes to colors of my pants. I'm not just choosing neutral, you know, and it's nice to have that green pair because it pops, you know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Next, I would say approximately three skirts or dresses depending on who you are. Now, I'm not talking about like a mini skirt. I'm talking about a skirt or a dress that you could wear to school, to work, like something that you could wear during the summer, but also during the winter. A longer, more versatile skirt or dress that you could wear to a number of different occasions.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And number five, it's a full-time job to constantly be adding new pieces to your wardrobe, to constantly be putting everything together. It takes up a lot of time. And it's interesting because you put all this time into this wardrobe, and a lot of times you don't even create something from it that's satisfying to you because there's too much stuff.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And it's just nice to have options, you know, various lengths, various colors, various materials. I'm not a dress person, so I just don't even own any dresses. I have instead pretty much three main skirts. I have one black skirt that's long. I have one gray skirt that has more of an interesting silhouette to it. And then I have one maroon and gray skirt.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And those are pretty much all the skirts I wear. They're all in a similar length, but they're all very different. They all give sort of a different vibe. They're made of different materials. Some are a bit more dressy. Some are a bit more subtle. It's nice to have some option, right? Moving on, I think it's important to have approximately two comfy pairs of pants, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
I'm talking about a yoga pant, a like cotton, stretchy, comfy, cute pant. These are pants that are not pajamas, okay? They're just comfy. You can wear them to the airport. You can wear them grocery shopping at 9.30 p.m. on a Tuesday. Like they're comfy, but they can be sort of dressed up enough to be worn out, right? Not like fully a sweatpants.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
So this could be like a cute knit pair of pants, maybe a cotton straight leg, sort of almost a sweatpant, but actually could pass as a real pants sort of pant. Figure out what it is for you. And I recommend a neutral color for this, okay? All of my comfy bottoms are black. And then approximately three short summer silhouettes, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
I'm talking about like denim shorts, mini skirts, fabric shorts, longer medium length dress shorts, capris. Like, I don't really know what this is going to be for me yet because I just, it's not, summer just passed, you know? And this summer, I wasn't in my capsule wardrobe era yet. So I'm still kind of trying to figure out what my summer pant is going to be next summer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
But I have some time, luckily. Right now, the only sort of short bottoms that I have in my closet are black capris and then long knee-length dress pant shorts. So imagine like a dress pant if you were to cut it off at the knee. I actually love those shorts. They're fucking amazing. But I don't know. and I'm obsessed with them. But I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
I might wear those during the summer, but I don't know. I don't know what my summer pant is going to be next summer. I'll figure it out. But anyway, that's pretty much all I have. And the thing about bottoms, the reason why I'm recommending not very many pairs is because you can re-wear pants a lot. for weeks and weeks and weeks until they're dirty. I mean, just keep wearing them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
You can't even piece things together in a way that feels cohesive and exciting because there's just too much there. There's too many options. The list goes on, okay? There's many reasons why building your closet in that way is negative. But that's how I lived for a really long time. And more recently, I came to the conclusion that that was not the way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
I think the hardest part about finding bottoms is finding the right fit for you that also goes with majority of your shoes, if not all of your shoes. Let's say one of your staple shoes is a black heeled boot. you need to make sure that your pants all look good with a black heeled boot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Like they all have the proper length to look proper with a black heeled boot, but also all of your pants are the proper length to also look good with a loafer, if that's your other staple shoe. Do you see what I mean? And that's sort of complicated. That means...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
going shopping in your heeled boots so that you can make sure it looks good with the heeled boots and then taking the heeled boots off and testing it flat footed to see how it would look with your loafer. You know what I mean? That means thinking ahead and that's kind of annoying, but I don't know. It's so worth it. I don't have any heels in my capsule wardrobe, to be honest.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
I used to wear heeled boots all the time. It didn't make it into the capsule wardrobe. I'm not really wearing them. I actually still own a pair because it's not bad to have, but they're collecting dust, honestly. I'm like considering getting rid of them because... Anyway, but you get the idea. Same thing with like, you know, skirts though or dresses.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Making sure the length is compatible with all of your different types of shoes and... figuring out what shoes you can wear with your comfy bottoms. Like are the comfy bottoms elevated enough that you could wear them with a loafer? That's kind of ideal, you know, like, cause then you can wear the, or like, can you wear a cute little flat shoe with your comfy bottoms? I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
It's, it's a journey again. It's a journey. It's a puzzle. It's ultimately a puzzle. Last little tip about bottoms. I'd recommend leaning towards the darker colors in your color palette. Light colors of pants tend to get dirty really easily. And it's nice to be able to wear your pants over and over and over again. I don't know. Like you're sitting on stuff in your pants.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Your pants are kind of exposed. Whereas like if you're wearing a white tank top or something or a white t-shirt... Not only do you have to wash that more frequently anyway, but also you're often covering it with a sweatshirt or covering it with a little cardigan or whatever. I don't know. It's just different. So, okay. Now let's discuss outerwear. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
The next step is to figure out the outerwear. I would say you're going to want approximately two to four sweaters in various silhouettes, various colors, in various thicknesses. Okay. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
sweaters are so great for layering and I think it's nice to have a few different options like for me I have a black button-up I have a gray three button little collared sweater I have a cream turtleneck yeah I have like a few other ones and they all sort of serve different purposes and And I think when it comes to sweaters, they're going to find you. Sweaters are not cheap.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
It's best to take your time and wait and find one that you know you're going to be able to wear in many different ways. Because otherwise, I just think a sweater is not worth it. Also make sure it's not too tight.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
There's nothing worse than a tight sweater so that it can also fit over other clothes because a lot of times we buy our sweaters too small and we can't wear them over a t-shirt and that's not cool. Like you want to have some space in the sweater. Okay. So make sure it fits properly. Make sure it's not itchy. Don't order sweaters online. I've made that mistake enough. I'm done.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
I got rid of majority of my clothes, like 90% of my clothes, and I'm left now with sort of a capsule wardrobe. And I don't know if I even want to call it that because I think there are all these different labels for how we put our closets together, how we shop. People are minimalist. People have capsule wardrobes. People have a uniform. There's all these different labels.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Go in person and make sure that sweater is not itchy because there's nothing worse than an itchy sweater. Take your time with the sweater. You're going to want, I don't know, maybe two sweatshirts. If you're somebody who loves sweatshirts though, you know, you could do more. It depends on who you are. I think it's nice to have probably half crew neck, half hoodies.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
I honestly personally prefer blank hoodies. Hoodies and sweatshirts. I used to love ones with designs on them and stuff, but I've noticed that I can sort of elevate the vibe of blank sweatshirts. So that's pretty much what I have now. And I find that I get more use out of them because I can really wear them with anything and everything. A few light jackets, approximately two to four.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
I think jackets are an area to have fun. It is nice to have like one solid jacket that you can throw over pretty much anything that's in your base color. So again, that would be black for me. But I think it is fun to have like a cool pop of color jacket. So choose one of the bright colors in your palette. And then I think it's nice to have one heavy jacket for cold weather and one heavy vest.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
frustrated, constantly confused, constantly self-sabotaging in big and small ways, doing things that I would cringe at three to six months later, a mess. Okay. I was a mess in fashion and in romance. And that was the case for many years. I spent many years in a phase of trial and error in fashion and in love.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Like really find the perfect fucking winter jacket and winter vest and dedicate to it. I can't tell you. I mean, it's even worse because I live in California. Like I really never needed to have more than one puffer jacket or more than one like super cozy warm vest. But it's so nice to just have like one simple matches with everything heavy jacket and heavy vest.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Honestly, I'd recommend choosing one that's in your base color probably. My heavy jacket is a black puffer jacket. Okay. This like amazing black puffer jacket. I've had it for years. I always go back to it. I always wear it. And then I just recently got my vest. It's just a black vest and it goes with everything. And that's it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And then the next step, which is not really a step because this is something that is sort of like an ongoing journey. As you find them in the world, it's fun to slowly collect a few extra fun accessories and shoes in more exciting colors from your color palette as you find them, okay? As you find them. Like, for example... One of the colors in my color palette is cream, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
I took a risk and bought these little cream flats because I was like, they're speaking to me. They're in my color palette. Let me give them a go. And I'm so glad I did because I wear them all the time. I recently explained earlier how I found an olive green bag. Olive green's in my color palette. This bag has such a cool silhouette. I love it. It's very comfortable on the shoulder.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
So I picked it up. I'm slowly but surely adding accessories that match the color palette, match the vibe that I can use instead of my black base options that I wear a majority of the time. And that's fun and that's exciting, but those things are harder to find in a way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Like both of those things, those cream ballet flats that I wear all the time and the little olive green bag, like those things found me. I did not search for those, you know? And so I'm letting those things come into my life. And as I find them, I add them into the rotation, but you can't rush that stuff. And then last but not least, you need special event outfits, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Honestly, I think you need one outfit to wear to a wedding and one outfit to wear to another sort of fancy event. I have not found my go-to wedding dress yet. I haven't been invited to a wedding in quite a while. But next time I'm invited to a wedding, I'm going to dedicate myself to finding the perfect dress to wear to a wedding.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And then I'm going to proceed to wear that to every single wedding for at least the next three years, if not five. I am not playing around. I'm going to find the perfect dress and wear it to every single fucking wedding. It will become like, that is Emma's wedding dress. Okay. But I won't wear it to my own wedding. Actually, maybe I will. That would be kind of funny.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
It's not that fucking deep, who cares? But it's pretty much a capsule wardrobe. And that's what I've figured out works for me. And I've been wearing this capsule wardrobe for a few months now, and it has worked so well for me. And I'm loving it. Now, let me tell you what a capsule wardrobe is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And then one outfit to wear to a fancy event. Okay. You can decide what that is. Like, is that a dress? Is that a really nice suit? You know, figure that out for you. And that's your capsule wardrobe. Okay. Was this helpful? I don't know. It might have just been completely useless, but I really hope it was helpful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
If you're somebody who's trying to build your capsule wardrobe or, you know, you don't know where to start. And is a lot of it intuitive? Yes, it is. Are you going to make some mistakes along the way? Absolutely. But it's so worth it. And I mean, I'm still sort of figuring out my capsule wardrobe, right? Like I know what my capsule wardrobe is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
I have figured it out, but I still have some stuff I need to get rid of that's kind of like in my closet that I'm not wearing at all. And it's not a part of my capsule wardrobe, but it's sitting there because I'm like, oh, I don't know if I want to get rid of it yet, but I know I have to. It's a process. You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Like it takes time to go through and be like, okay, wait, this thing I'm not wearing this thing I'm wearing. It's a whole journey. It's also emotional at times. Like there's things in my closet that have not made the cut. I'm like, I'm not ever going to wear this again. I am going to get rid of this, but there's something sad about removing it from my closet and I'm kind of putting it off.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
So, you know, take your time. You'll get there. It's not going to happen overnight. It shouldn't happen overnight. It's like an ongoing project. And I think that's really fun about it. Anyway, this is actually inspiring me to go into my closet and take out the stuff that I'm not wearing. And maybe I'll do that tonight. Anyway, I hope this was helpful. If it wasn't, don't worry.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Maybe next episode will be a little bit more useful, but probably not. So don't get your hopes up. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. It's always my pleasure. I love you all. I appreciate you all. And I'll talk to you soon. I'll talk to you later. Okay, bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
A capsule wardrobe is a small curated collection of clothing and accessories that can be mixed and matched to create many different outfits. The goal is to have a variety of outfits for different occasions without owning too many items. Okay, a capsule wardrobe is literally just having a normal amount of clothes. Like the fact that I'm coming on here and saying, you guys, I did this crazy thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
I have a capsule wardrobe. That should be normal. And I think for many people it is, but because I'm somebody who, you know, loves fashion and fashion is one of my hobbies. And I also have a career on the internet where I'm constantly wearing clothes on the internet. And there's this pressure to constantly be wearing a new outfit, which I don't really care about anymore, but I used to.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
That's why this is sort of a large feat for me, right? But I think nowadays it's more rare to have a capsule wardrobe, especially Gen Z. I think a lot of Gen Z are big consumers and are buying a lot of sort of fast fashion and stuff like that. And the mindset is let's pack the closet. And I get it because I was the same way. Here's the deal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
So I truly believe that the capsule wardrobe is a beautiful thing. This is honestly the first time in my life that I've had a capsule wardrobe. I mean, I guess I sort of had one in like elementary school, but that doesn't really count. Okay. So this is my first time having a capsule wardrobe as an adult. And I really do think there's an art to building it. And I think it's kind of awesome.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And when it's done right, you can feel fashionable every day, but not have too much stuff. I always thought it was impossible to feel fashionable every day if I wasn't wearing a different outfit every day. That's not true. You can feel fashionable and a little different every day with a capsule wardrobe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And you can also narrow down your own personal style with a capsule wardrobe so that you have sort of an iconic look. It's like, that's... your thing, you know? And that's really cool. That's something I never really had before in a very distinct way. I think now my personal style is very distinct because of this capsule wardrobe. And that's something that I enjoy for my identity.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
But let me tell you, building this capsule wardrobe was incredibly challenging and confusing. It was a multiple month long contemplation, okay? This was something that took months. And I think through my experience of building my capsule wardrobe, or not even building my capsule wardrobe, but rather deconstructing my massive wardrobe and creating a capsule wardrobe out of it, I learned a lot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And so today I'm going to share with you what I learned. This is basically my guide, Emma's guide to building a capsule wardrobe. And it's not easy because the whole idea of the capsule wardrobe is that everything sort of matches. Everything sort of goes together. Everything can be layered together.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
There's, you know, a select number of pieces, but they can all be mixed and matched in different ways in order to create a bunch of new outfits. Like that's not easy. Okay. It's one thing to have like 10 pieces in your closet that you like, but have none of them match. That's like easy. We can all find 10 things that we like.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
It's hard to pick 10 things that we like that all go together in one way or another. The magic of a capsule wardrobe is when majority of the pieces all go together in one way or another. Do you know what I'm saying? But I think I've come up with a formula for creating a capsule wardrobe. And that is what I'm going to share with you today. My formula.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
There's a few things that must be considered before starting. Number one, what point are you starting at? Do you barely have any clothes? Is your closet filled with stuff that you don't really like? And there's also not a lot of it. Like you've been wearing the same thing for a while. Or are you in a place where you have too much clothes and you want to narrow things down?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
If you don't have a lot of clothes, then that means you're going to want to add a few things. And if you have too many clothes, the goal should be to buy nothing and just get rid of stuff. I also think it's important to remember that your capsule wardrobe is going to change throughout your life. This is not something that you're marrying forever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
This is what you're going to be wearing for, say, the next year, maybe two years. But you can constantly be changing it and evolving it and swapping out pieces here and there. Like, don't feel like you're marrying this for the rest of your life. Your capsule wardrobe can evolve and change as you do. And you can just do it intuitively as it happens.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And weirdly enough, recently, both things at pretty much the same time have been figured out. I really think that my relationship to clothing and fashion and my relationship to romance and dating is finally in a state of health for possibly the first time in my life. I don't know if it's a coincidence that these two things happened at the same time, but let me tell you, it's a delight.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And last but not least, instead of rushing to buy a bunch of new things for your capsule wardrobe, shop with intention and wait until you've found the perfect piece. If you're like, I really want the perfect pair of jeans. Don't just rush and buy the first pair of jeans you find. Look in your own closet. See if you already have that pair of jeans. Or...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Go out for two or three weekends in a row and go try on jeans in person until you find the perfect pair. Don't rush it and pay attention to what you already have in your closet. So shop intentionally, don't rush, be conscious of what you already have. Okay, with all that in mind, let's begin. This is the step-by-step guide, how to build the capsule wardrobe by Emma Chamberlain.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
In my opinion, take it all with a grain of salt. The first thing I did was choose my base color. Now, what does that mean? The base color is kind of like the color that grounds the outfit. I would say this is usually a dark color. Honestly, I think the base color is either black or brown. And the first step is to choose one or the other.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
I mean, if you're somebody who loves bright colors, your base color might be red. But I would say majority of us are going to choose between black and brown. So what is a base color? A base color is like the through line color in your outfits. This is the color that's present in almost every outfit, if not every single outfit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
This is the dark color that sort of roots the outfit and gives it dimension. Okay. That's why I'm saying it's usually black or brown. For me personally, it's black. I tend to choose black as my base color for my outfit. I'd say probably 85% of the time. These days, there was a long period of time where I would say my base color was more brown, actually.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Like I tended to choose brown shoes, brown bag, you know, brown sunglasses. But more recently, I'm choosing black. Like black is the through line for my outfit. Okay, next, choose your metal. I would recommend choosing a metal and sticking to it. Now, some people are like, uh, shut the fuck up. No, I like mixing metals.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
I like wearing gold earrings and a little silver bracelet and a little rose gold thing. fucking anklet, like whatever. If you love that, go for it. But I think there's something really nice about choosing a metal and sticking to it and being cohesive. It's pretty much just gold or silver, okay? Choose gold or silver. Which one is more you? Which one do you lean towards?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Which one looks better with your skin tone? Which one do you like better? For me, at this point in my life, it's silver. It used to be gold for me for many years. Now it's silver, okay? So my base color, black. My base metal, I guess, if you will, silver. So now I have sort of my base. Now, step three is to find your staple daily accessories in your base color and base metal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
So for me, that would mean figuring out my go-to sunglasses, black pair of sunglasses. Finding the ones that fit the best, have the most versatile vibe for all the sort of different outfits that I like to experiment with. Sunglasses that are comfortable on my head, I can wear all day long. They're not falling off my head. They fit perfect. They're versatile.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
If there's hardware on them, it's silver and the color of them is black, okay? Jewelry. pick daily jewelry in the middle that you chose. So for me, that means silver hoops, and that's kind of it. I occasionally will wear a watch, but for the most part, silver hoops. That's it. That's my go-to jewelry. I do have a silver watch with a black band. That's another great piece of jewelry for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
It's not something I wear every day, but it's something that I have that I wear whenever I want to wear a watch. It's great because it's in the base color and the base metal. Choose a belt, easy, in your base color. And with the base metal, for me, that means black belt, silver hardware, purse and bag, black bag, silver hardware, staple shoes, black shoes, silver hardware. You get the idea.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
It's a delight. Today we will not be discussing the romance half of this conversation. We'll be focusing in on the fashion half of this conversation. For many years I was in this mindset of consume, consume, consume, consume. The more clothes, the merrier. The more different aesthetics that I experiment with, the better. The more color palettes I have available to me in my wardrobe, the better.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
So if your base color is brown and gold, that actually used to be kind of my base color. color and metal. I had brown and gold sunglasses, gold jewelry, brown and gold belt, brown and gold bag, brown and gold shoes. And that was the base, you know? And when it comes to picking all of these things, I think the key is taking your time to find them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
making sure that they're versatile enough to match a variety of different things. Because even though this is a capsule wardrobe, you're not going to look exactly the same every day. There's still going to be little differences depending on what gets paired with what.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And so you want something that's versatile enough to go with many different things, but also represents your style enough where you're not like, this is just boring. I'm bored of this thing. So simple, but you. And only you can determine what that is, right? But it also needs to be something that is genuinely comfortable for you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Making sure that those sunglasses are so fucking comfortable on your head, that is crucial. Making sure that the jewelry that you chose is something that you can sleep in for the most part. I mean, if you're wearing like big hoops, like I like to wear big hoops, so I do have to take those out or I prefer to take them out. But I have like, you know, small little huggies in two of my other holes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
I can sleep in those. It's easy to pop a hoop in and out. You know, it's fine. So ideally stuff that you can sleep in or easy to put in and out. Ideally pieces that you can shower in. And... Having a purse or bag that's comfortable on your shoulder or it's cross-body so that you don't have to think about it. Like choosing something that you don't mind carrying every single day. It's not annoying.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
It's easy. It fits on your shoulder like a glove. And picking shoes that look cool but are also comfortable enough to wear every day. And I would say shoes are the only thing that you might need a few of. You only need one pair of sunglasses, one pair of earrings, one necklace, one belt, one bag. You could have a few if you wanted. I mean, I have a few all in my base color and base metal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
But I would say shoes, it's nice to have a few pairs. It's nice to have like a light summery shoe, something like, you know, a flat or a loafer or something sort of sandal-esque, I guess, depending on your style. It's nice to have some sort of boot. Maybe it's a heeled boot. Maybe it's a flat boot. Maybe it's a knee-high boot. Again, depends on your style. And then maybe some sort of comfy shoe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
Maybe it's like a fleece boot, you know, a clog, like some sort of comfy shoe, maybe a flip-flop if that's your style, like whatever. It's nice to have a few variations of staple shoe. But then from there, you sort of have the base, okay? All of those things can be worn together with almost any outfit on a daily basis and serve their purpose. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
And to a lot of people, it might seem backwards to start with the accessories, but I don't know, like in a lot of ways, those accessories are in a weird way, the backbone of the outfit, right? Like when you have a capsule wardrobe, that through line, like having like your base color and your base metal, that'll just tie everything together. You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to build a realistic capsule wardrobe, explained
That gives you a really good backbone of for pairing together other pieces, right? Because now you have this through line of the black and the through line of the silver. I don't know. I just, I think it's very helpful. From there, step number four is to choose your color palette, okay? Now, obviously, there's a color we've already decided, okay? As we know. You got to add from there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I am not going to lie. I'm a bit frightened. I'm a bit frightened because I just finished making my fourth caffeinated beverage of the day. Okay. I woke up, had a coffee, mid-morning had a matcha, then a little bit later had another one. And then now it's 4.45 PM and I'm having a third one. So this is my fourth caffeinated beverage of the day. This is very unusual for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
90% of my workout gear is just black. And the reason for that is, you know, when you're sweating and you're wearing like a pale blue workout set, you can see the sweat. And I mean, it doesn't really matter, right? Who cares? But I don't know. I just, I prefer black workout gear. And I also prefer shorts over leggings. There's a time and a place for leggings, but it's definitely not my routine.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Especially because my workout of choice right now is hot yoga. Leggings are not ideal for hot yoga. It is so hot in there that I'm trying to have as much skin exposed as possible. So I get into that and then I put over that a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants. And then I slip on my slippers and I put on my little sunglasses and I pack my little shower bag.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And then I pack my little purse, wallet, keys, hand sanitizer, phone, and I'm off. Okay, drive to yoga. And at the yoga place that I go to, the parking for yoga is on the ninth floor of the parking garage, okay? So I have to drive all the way to the top. And it used to piss me off so bad.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I was like, oh my God, there's all this parking for the first eight floors, but it's reserved for, I don't know, another company or something. The parking for the yoga is on the ninth floor and it takes like... three minutes to get up there, which doesn't seem like a long time. But when you're like circling around up a parking structure, I mean, it feels long.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Anyway, I used to absolutely hate the fact that I had to drive all the way up to the top floor of this parking garage. But I actually ended up finding a silver lining. I'll talk about that in a moment. But anyway, park on the ninth floor. And then I go into yoga. And I do sort of like a hot yoga Pilates fusion class. It is really hard, okay? It is one of the hardest workouts I've ever done.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Every time I go into class, there's a 50-50 chance that like 30 minutes in, I'm going to really start to feel like I'm going to pass out. But that's why I really make sure that I don't forget my electrolytes Because I am drinking, drinking, drinking, replenishing, replenishing, replenishing the whole class. And I have found that that does help.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
When I first started, I don't know, I was kind of skimping on the electrolytes. Like the other electrolytes that I used to use, it's better for like day to day drinking, you know, at least in my experience. So anyway, I'm drinking that. I'm chugging that, whatever. Okay. It's an hour long class. I get out and I shower there. And it's kind of weird.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I have a love-hate relationship with showering at the gym in general. Like throughout my life, I've always had a love-hate relationship with it. There are elements of it that I absolutely love. It's very convenient. But it's also kind of weird. There's people around. They're seeing you naked, perhaps. There's strangers and you're vulnerable and naked. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
There's a chance that I won't, but I have a feeling this fourth matcha is going to impact me in a way that none of us are prepared for. That's the risk that you take when you deviate from your routine. You know, I know what happens when I have three caffeinated beverages. I'm good. I'm normal. Everything's fine. Now I'm throwing in a fourth. I'm breaking routine.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
There's probably foot fungus on the floor. You have to wear flip-flops in the shower. But after hot yoga, I am so soaked. My hair is soaked completely with sweat. My clothes are completely soaked through with sweat. I mean, I'm barely wearing any clothes to begin with, but it's soaked all the way through. The entire surface area of my body is covered in sweat.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And getting in the car like that is disgusting, okay? And I refuse to do it. I used to do that and just shower at home. But the problem with that was if I was going to yoga every day, then every day sweat was transferring from my body and dirty clothes onto the seatbelt in my car. And it was starting to smell like sweat. And to me, that's disgusting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
So now I shower at yoga and I have all my little things that I need. I only wash my hair once a week. And so I actually don't even bring shampoo or anything because if I'm going to do an everything shower, I'll just do it at home. So my yoga shower consists of using a specific vagina soap because if I don't use... a special vagina soap, my pH gets off like immediately and I start to have issues.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
It's uncomfortable. It makes me, I have very sensitive skin, okay? And that includes my vagina. She's very sensitive and she's very sweet and she's very nice. So I treat her well and I wash her with special soap, okay? And then I use a body scrub because I just sweat so much. I like need a body scrub. I use a eucalyptus smelling body scrub from the brand Necessaire. That's my favorite one.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And then I'm using a face wash. And the face wash I use after yoga specifically is by the brand IS Clinical. It's like, it just, it looks scientific, the bottle. You're like, I trust this brand. Anyway, great face wash. Rinse my hair. That's it. I don't even have to wash it. That's the joy of having a bleached pixie. You never have to wash it and you don't even have to style it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
It just kind of does its own thing. It's incredible. I get back into my sweat pant, sweatshirt, little outfit, and I'm out of there. Here's the silver lining of the nine floor parking garage that I mentioned earlier, okay? Starting on January 1st this year, I decided I was going to walk 10,000 steps a day, minimum, for the entire year. Just to see what happens.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And spoiler alert, I absolutely love it. I mean, I absolutely love the routine of it. I have fallen in love with walking in a brand new way. It is just a joy. some days it's hard to get the steps in. You know, it's not always easy. Sometimes I'm like, you know, walking on my treadmill at like 10 p.m. because I'm like, damn, I have like 2,000 more steps. All right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
You know, and it's raining outside and I can't like go for a walk outside like I usually do. Like, God damn it. But, I absolutely love it. And so the fact that now I am always trying to get steps in, it inspired me to start taking the stairs after my yoga class. So after this insane yoga class, I walk up nine flights of stairs up to the top floor of the parking garage to my car.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And you know what? It sucks. It's uncomfortable. It burns. My booty hurts by the end, but it's super satisfying. It feels really good. And it kind of like wraps up my workout for the day. It's like, all right, I did that. Now I did my little stairs. I got my movement in. Now I can proceed to sit inside at a desk for the rest of the day and it's all good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I don't know what's going to happen. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Westin Hotels and Resorts. Westin Hotels is designed with your wellbeing in mind. With more than 200 destinations around the world, Westin Hotels makes it possible to keep up with your wellness routine while traveling.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
So that is the silver lining of the nine floor parking garage. How beautiful is that? Then it's time to run some quick errands. Okay, nothing like intense, you know, go get groceries, get gas, you know, go pick up like printer ink from Office Depot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Like, you know, the vibe, like these are quick errands because mind you, this is so TMI, but I'm basically like naked underneath my sweatpants and huge sweatshirt. which feels kind of weird. And I'm wet because I just got out of the shower and I'm beet red. So this is not when we run the leisurely errands, going to the mall to get jeans, going to get my nails done, going to a hair appointment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And if I want to do that stuff after yoga, okay, that requires a bit more planning. I'm bringing an outfit that's to yoga. I'm changing into that after so that I look presentable. I'm bringing extra products. I'm bringing my hair care products. I'm bringing my skincare products so that I can complete my routine there. It's a whole other thing. So usually I'm just running some short errands.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And to be honest, usually I'm going to the grocery store or getting gas. And when it comes to going to the grocery store, I'm usually getting stuff to make veggie burgers because I've been eating a veggie burger for dinner every night for like the past four months. I don't even know. It's been so long, maybe even a year. So I'm like, I'm so into the veggie burger right now. It's so fucking good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
or I'm picking up stuff to make egg bites because that's one of my other staple foods. Like, you know, like the Starbucks egg bites, like mini little frittatas. Come on, you know what I'm talking about. I like to make those. And that's usually part of my like brunch, lunch situation. Or I'm getting gas, which to me is one of the most frightening activities. I am so afraid of getting gas.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Everything about it frightens me. Number one, I'm afraid of somebody like jumping me or like mugging me. Like I feel like somebody is going to like rob me or something. I don't know. I just feel vulnerable. And I used to get back in my car. Like I would, you know, get out of my car, pay, plug the pump in.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
start pumping it, get back in the car, lock the door and be safe in there until I was done pumping the gas. But then I found out that apparently that's actually not a good idea because it can cause static electricity, which can then cause like a fire or a gas explosion or something. And it's like dangerous. And I was like, oh, fuck no.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
So now I am forced to stand next to my gas pump the entire time that it's pumping gas. And I'm shaking because I'm afraid that like something bad's going to happen to me because I'm vulnerable and I'm standing out here alone. And then nothing ever happens. And then, yeah. And then I get back in my car and drive away.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
If I didn't live in Los Angeles, I wouldn't be afraid, but shit happens in a city. You know what I'm saying? I'm very wary. I am constantly looking around. Yeah, it's a little, it's, it's just, it's, you just, you kind of have to be that way when you live in a city. But anyway, After that, I go home and it's time to make myself look a little bit more presentable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Okay, because up until this point, I've looked horrible the entire day. And for my own well-being, I need to clean up a little bit. Usually, I'm getting home and at max to my hair, I might put in a little bit of this like purple oil. Purple because, you know, the purple pigment helps combat yellowness in bleached hair. I'll put a little bit of that in to sort of smooth my hair out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And if I feel like my hair is really frizzy and out of control, I might put a little bit of wax in it to sort of shape it a little bit. But that's it. Like I'm really not doing much to the hair. And if it's really bad, like it dried horribly after yoga, usually it doesn't because usually I let it dry with my hood up. So then it like dries perfectly flat and in place. That's a little life hack.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
But if for some reason it dried horribly, I'll re-wet it and then, you know, let it air dry again and make sure to put a hood on or put on sometimes like a balaclava or something so that it'll dry flat. I only have to do that for like 15, 20 minutes and then it's dry flat. I don't have to use heat or anything. So that's sort of the hair routine. And then skincare routine is simple.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I'm just doing a light moisturizer in a light sunscreen, okay? Then it's time to get dressed, okay? And let's be honest, I'm not putting on anything special, okay? But it's more special than earlier, right? Like the yoga outfit Mid. Who cares? The sweatsuit, the hoodie with the matching sweatpants that I tend to wear every single day to yoga, not cute.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
So what I'm usually getting dressed in is something that's a little bit cuter. OK, like I'll wear a slightly cuter pair of sweatpants, a slightly chicer pair of sweatpants, and I'll match the sweatpants with my top. And my top is like kind of a normal top. You know, it's not like a baggy sweatshirt or, you know, like a loose fitting PJ T-shirt.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
You know, like I'm wearing like a cute top and I'm wearing cute socks that match the top. And I'm wearing perhaps like one of my pairs of slippers that matches my outfit. So I am still ultimately in my pajamas. Yes. But I'm feeling a bit cuter, a bit more put together for the rest of my day. But listen, I work from home for the most part. I'm home alone all day, every day, almost every day.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
This is my life, you know? When it comes to my routine, like my daily routine, I am not getting dressed. I never get dressed. And now it's time to move to the kitchen, okay? It's time to eat. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Skims. So you guys know how hard it can be finding the right bra and underwear, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I am very, very picky about the way that clothes feel on my body. Actually, more importantly, my underwear and my bras, because those are the pieces of clothing that are the closest to my body. And I want them to be soft and movable and flexible. Your intimates are the most important foundation of every outfit. So you need to know about Skims Fits Everybody Collection.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
The fits everybody boy shorts are a full coverage pair of underwear that fits seamlessly under your clothes. A go-to item for me. But I also love the fits everybody triangle bralette. Those two together, I am on fire, okay? The base of my outfit is... Flawless. Shop Skims Best Intimates, including the Fits Everybody collection and more at Skims.com and Skims stores.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Find wellness at Westin, one of the 30 extraordinary hotel brands in the Marriott Bonvoy portfolio. Now back to the episode. Breaking routine is kind of frightening sometimes. But that actually relates to our topic today. So about two years ago, almost to the day, not quite, but almost to the day, I made an episode where I explained my daily routine. And I didn't just explain it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
After you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and then anything goes in the drop down menu that follows. Now back to the episode. I am usually not that hungry in the morning. It depends. I go through phases in my life, but recently I haven't been. And so I wait until lunch and then I fucking go ham.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Okay, so usually I'm having some sort of egg bite that I made prior. I tend to prepare them in bulk so that I have them for the next few days. And I prepare them at varying times of the day. There's no specific time that I prepare them. But I'm constantly switching up what I put in them. For a long time, I was putting broccoli and they were quite good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And then I had a traumatic incident with broccoli where I had to stop eating it because I found a snail or slug, sorry, a slug in some organic broccoli that I bought. And it absolutely traumatized me and gave me a complete food aversion to broccoli that I've been trying to heal ever since. And I can eat broccoli now, but only when I didn't prepare it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Like when I prepare it, it's really tough for me. I can do it if I like... put a bunch of garlic and Parmesan cheese on it. Sure. I can get it down. Okay. But I could get anything down if it had a bunch of garlic and Parmesan cheese on it. You could literally give me a fucking dog shit and it's crusted with Parmesan and garlic. And I'd say totally fine. I'll eat it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I will eat anything Parmesan garlic. So it's like at that point, it's not even like I, I'm not even really eating the food. I'm just eating Parmesan and garlic. Broccoli is simply the vessel. Okay. And I don't, that's not what I liked about broccoli prior to the food aversion. I liked it because I actually liked the flavor and the texture. I loved broccoli.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
So anyway, one day I'll get back there, but for now I'm completely, completely traumatized by it. So for a while there, I was weirdly putting peas and carrots into my little egg bites because they just kind of disappeared into there and have like a really mild flavor or whatever. Recently, though, I fucking unlocked the best egg bite recipe I have ever unlocked in my life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
OK, let me tell you about it. I'm a vegetarian for the most part, pescatarian sometimes. I do eat fish occasionally nowadays. Imagine this, okay? We're chopping half a red onion, one red bell pepper, one green bell pepper, okay? We're chopping it. Oh, oh, oh, sorry, excuse me. And a zucchini. with the seeds scooped out. Fuck those slimy seeds. Get those bitches out of here. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Then we're chopping it up. We're chopping it all up into small cubes and we're cooking that up with some fajita seasoning. Okay. You can buy it at the store. Chicken fajita seasoning on there. Then in another pan, I'm cooking up some whatever plant-based chorizo you can find. Okay. I've actually tried multiple brands.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
They're all good because they're all probably highly processed and using the exact same seasoning blend. Delicious. Okay. So I cooked that up. So now I have chorizo and then some fajita veggies in the other pan. Okay. Then I take a muffin tin, spray it, and then I do little scoops of the chorizo and little scoops of the veggies into each little tray and then top it off with egg.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
You can use egg, you can use egg white, pop it in the oven, 375 for 20 minutes, done. Boom. egg bites. So good. So I'll eat those a lot of times for lunch, like four of them, fucking pop those things. I could swallow them whole. They're so good. Oh, and I eat them with salsa and a bit of cotija cheese. Yum. It's delectable. It's delectable. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And it's actually funny because growing up, my dad used to make me an omelet that was basically just like vegetarian chorizo with, uh, eggs. And it was like one of my favorite foods when I was younger. I kind of forgot about it for a while. And then recently I, I kind of came up with this recipe and it was so good. So I have like four of those, four little egg bites. Okay. To start.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Then I'll make a little yogurt bowl. Fuck it. Fuck it. Let's make a little yogurt bowl. Recently I've been enjoying some vanilla yogurt, vanilla Greek yogurt. Delicious. And I'll weirdly put on top of it some cereal. Recently, I've been topping my yogurt with just like a fuck ton of cinnamon cereal. And I mix it up so that it's like mainly just cereal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I explained it in such gruesome detail that I don't know how any of you sat through it and listened to it. Unnecessary amounts of detail. And it's been two years and my routine has changed a bit. And I think it's time that I do it again. And so today I'm going to be sharing my current routine in unnecessary detail.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
But each piece of cereal is coated in a bit of yogurt. Yum. Yum. Okay, so that's what I eat. And by then I'm so full and I'm feeling really good. And then it's time to make another caffeinated beverage. This is usually gonna be a matcha. Recently, I'm like very much into matcha. There was a period there, I don't know, two years ago where I was like fully coffee only. I wasn't on matcha for a bit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I'm back. I'm at least having one matcha a day, but sometimes two. So I most likely make myself a matcha Or perhaps an iced latte, depending on the mood. And then I get back to work. And at this point, it's like, you know, I don't know, 2 p.m. I still got a whole day ahead of me. If I have the energy, I'll record another podcast. And that's what I'm doing sort of right now, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Like, it's a bit later in the afternoon, but why not? I do two episodes a week of this podcast, right? And a lot of times, that's sort of easy to keep up with. It's like, okay, you record two episodes a week. But I've been recently trying to record a podcast at any time I have an idea, any time I'm feeling inspired. And if that means recording six episodes in a week, I'll do it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
You know what I mean? Because that... only gives me more time to plan for other episodes, but also to work on other parts of my career more intensely. It frees up some time to do some other things. So whenever I'm feeling inspired, I'll do it. And so that's why I mentioned it as a part of my routine, because there are two points in the day where I'm asking myself, am I ready to record a podcast?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
But when I'm not recording a podcast, which is a significant amount of the time, I'm definitely not recording two podcasts every single day. Sometimes I go, you know, three days without recording a podcast. Sometimes I'll go a full week. But when I'm not recording a podcast, I'm working on, you know, other things, as I mentioned earlier. And I'm just at a desk and I'm just sitting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Although sometimes I like to work on my treadmill because I'm trying to get 10,000 steps per day this year. And because my job doesn't involve any walking, I have to be... really thoughtful about when I get my steps in. That's why I'm taking the stairs. That's why when my work allows it, I will work while on the treadmill. I'll set up my little iPad.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I'll be in my cute little sweat pant outfit, pop on my little running shoes, and I'll walk on the treadmill. And I'm not like... walking fast. I mean, sometimes if I'm brainstorming stuff, I'll walk fast and just listen to music and think. But sometimes I'm there with my iPad, typing on it and stuff. You can't walk that fast. So it's not really about speed. It's just about moving.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Because otherwise, I am sitting all day. And Like 9 p.m. will roll around and I only have 2,000 steps. And then what? I'm fucked. I'm like forced to walk, you know, for like an hour and a half at 9 p.m. And that sucks. You know what I mean? And then around this time, I'll have probably my final caffeinated beverage. Again, usually an iced matcha latte or an iced latte.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I mean, I am just going to be telling you about every single little thing that I do every single day. The reason why I feel like it's okay to do this is because this is the type of thing that I find interesting, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Sometimes I'll have a snack. My snacks are really random and depend on what's in the fridge. Like if I recently went to the farmer's market, okay, great. I'm going to have a bunch of fun fruits to eat. Okay. So I might have some fruits. If I went to the farmer's market, I might have fresh hummus from the farmer's market. Okay. So I might be eating some crackers with hummus or something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
You know, I always have popcorn. I love these little pecan cookies. I Recently, I've been absolutely pounding those when I'm in the mood for a snack. Sometimes I'll have another yogurt cereal bowl. Recently, that's just been hitting for me. And so I'll have another one of those. And it's at about this time that I'll make one of my favorite beverages in another Stanley Cup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I've been sipping on my electrolyte Stanley Cup drink throughout the day, and it's probably running low at this point. So it's about time to make one of my favorite beverages, non-caffeinated, sparkling water with apple cider vinegar. Yum. I love this because I love the taste of vinegar for some reason that I can't explain. It might also help my stomach. It might also have good digestive impacts.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I don't know. But anyway, so I'll fill up my Stanley cup with ice. I'll get out my water carbonator or just drink carbonator. It can carbonate anything. I'll get that thing out, the little machine, refillable, of course. They're like little refillable bottles. Attach it to the machine thing. Press the button. Carbonate water, okay? I can't even tell you how many cans I used to go through.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I usually stop drinking caffeine after my third caffeinated beverage, latest 2 or 3 p.m. It's later than usual. Even though I think I have a high caffeine tolerance, I just don't want to have some sort of panic attack. I also don't want to be up all night. So I'm a bit frightened, but I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted right now. And if I don't drink this, I'm going to take a nap.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Not anymore. I've never been more eco-friendly, you guys, okay? My waist has gone down so much. because I'm carbonating my own water. I'm not going through 10 LaCroix cans per day anyway, because I used to be able to fit two LaCroix cans into my Stanley cup. So every time I'd fill it up, I was putting two whole cans in there. It was such a waste of can. It was just unnecessary.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
If somebody made a podcast episode about their exact daily routine, exactly what they do from the time they wake up to the time they go to sleep, I would listen to that and find it fascinating because I think people are fascinating. We all think people are fascinating. I don't know. There's something sort of precious about the way that we entertain each other.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
So I've been carbonating my own water. Incredible. Put a little bit of apple cider vinegar in there, probably two or three tablespoons, mix it up, and I'm sipping on that for the rest of the evening. So, you know, we're having a snack, we're making our final caffeinated beverage, and we're making a sparkling water with vinegar, okay? This is usually what's happening.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And then after that, I'm back to work for the rest of the evening, okay? I might be at the desk, I might be recording a podcast later in the evening. If I got, you know, sort of a second wind in the early evening, I might just be doing computer work. I might be working on the treadmill still. Like, who knows? Okay. Maybe I have a Zoom call. Boring. Then it's time for dinner.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And I have been really good about not eating out during the week for the past long while, honestly. I actually don't remember the last time I was in a routine of eating out for dinner, either, you know, ordering restaurant food delivery or even going out, you know. I, during the week, have been cooking dinner almost every single night. And dinner varies.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
You know, I love making chickpea pasta by the brand Bonza. High protein, good for us vegetarians. Throw some veggies in there. Have a huge fucking bowl of that with some nutritional yeast on top, which is some sort of weird yeast substance that sort of has a cheesy flavor. It's kind of like a, you know, vegan alternative to cheese.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I do eat normal cheese, but I actually really like the flavor of nutritional yeast. So I eat that a lot. I make veggie burgers a lot, but I mentioned that earlier. So that's not a shocker to you. I've been eating a veggie burger almost every single night for months, months. And that consists of a classic bun, A Dr. Preger brand veggie burger. Classic Heinz ketchup. Classic French's mustard.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Deli hot spicy mustard. Okay, so two mustards on this burger. And dill sour, sour, sour pickle chips. Okay. That is my veggie burger and it's fucking delicious and it's easy and it's quick. If I'm feeling really inspired and I go through phases, I will crack open a cookbook and I will make a recipe from scratch. And I absolutely love to do this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
But sometimes it's like not worth the risk because I don't always love recipes that I make, right? Sometimes I'll copy something from a cookbook and I'm like, you know what? It's actually just not my, it's not my thing. I just don't really like it. But it is exciting and fun sometimes. But I would say more realistically, I'm having something simple. I'm having a veggie burger.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I'm having a simple pasta dish using bonza pasta. It fills me up. It's filling. It's got protein in it. The veggie burger has absolutely no vegetables. The pickle is a vegetable, all right? So relax. I'm so off vegetables right now. I'm off of them. And I was in, I loved vegetables, but the whole, you know, slug incident with the broccoli just really fucked me up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Anywho, then it's time to take my evening pills and then it's time for a sweet treat. I went many, many years in my life without a sweet treat, but I recently got into the routine of a sweet treat because I was taste testing pastries for the new Chamberlain Coffee Cafe and in the Westfield Century City Mall, aka the best fucking mall in Los Angeles. It's an incredible mall.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally. Actors entertain us in movies and random strangers entertain us in a coffee shop. People are interesting. They don't necessarily have to be doing anything interesting to be interesting. Somebody's simple daily routine can be interesting. And that's why I feel inclined to share my daily routine with you. my chest is already kind of getting tight.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
The cafe opened late January, if you haven't seen it or heard about it. Very exciting. Absolutely obsessed. Unbelievable dream come true. Can't believe that it happened. But anyway, I was taste testing pastries for months, okay? And I was constantly getting sent, you know, different samples of pastries from different bakeries, I guess. And they were always sending too much, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
They would send like five chocolate chip cookies, six, you know, coffee cake slices. Like they would send way too much, okay? So I kept just freezing everything, okay? And for months, I just had all these frozen pastries in my freezer and I wasn't eating them. And then at a certain point, I was like, I really should start cracking into these.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And now it's become a ritual because every night for months- I was defrosting a different Chamberlain Coffee Cafe pastry sample and eating it as my little sweet treat after dinner. And it became such a sacred ritual that now I have to have a sweet treat every night. And sometimes that means, you know, extra pastries from the cafe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Sometimes, you know, I buy some like pre-made cookie dough from Whole Foods or something and like... We'll, you know, use that. But anyway, now I have to have a sweet treat every night. And I was never that person. I've never been a dessert person. I've always been more of a savory person. Like I'd rather eat tater tots than like a chocolate chip cookie, man. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Like it might be something with age. I'm realizing that the older I get, the more I love sweets and pastries and stuff like that. So anyway, have to have a sweet treat. Then it's time for a long walk. Okay. I've been really enjoying the evening walk, the after dinner walk. I've talked about it before because I love it so much.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
The after dinner walk didn't make its way into my daily routine here in Los Angeles until I made the 10,000 step a day goal. Prior to that, I don't know, like my neighborhood has a lot of like hills and stuff. I was always like, I don't fucking want to walk. I don't want to walk here. However, whenever I visit my dad, we always go on an after dinner walk.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Or whenever we're on a trip together, we always go on an after dinner walk, but never on my own. But I'm so into it now. Now I'm like, what's wrong with me? I always found so much joy in the walks with my dad. Like, why didn't I integrate it into my routine sooner? Now it's incredible because it's like, I go to visit my dad or we go on a trip, evening walk. Now at home, evening walk.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
It's a consistent in my life and I really, really love it. Um, I usually will walk around, honestly, between one and a half and three miles. It sounds long, but I absolutely love it. And I just take my time and I'm in my sweatpants and I'm comfy and it's no big deal. And I end up getting like anywhere from, I don't know, like 4,000 to 8,000 more steps, depending on how far I go.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And so, you know, I, I make sure that I hit my 10,000 And it's just a great way to end the day. And then after my nice long walk, it's time to get into the PJs. Okay. And recently I've been really loving wearing men's underwear and no, I'm not being like, oh my God, I'm wearing my boyfriend's underwear. He let me wear them. It's so cute. No, no, no.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I ordered men's underwear because I know how comfortable they are because I've had phases in the past where I've been obsessed with wearing men's underwear and they're so comfortable. And I've But I also love to wear my favorite orange sweatshorts that are on the verge of ripping at this point because I have worn them to bed almost every single night for the past three years. I love these shorts.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
But I'm weirdly kind of wearing them less. I almost think it's because subconsciously I know that I need to stop wearing them as much if I want them to last because they're just starting to like get thinner and thinner and thinner and I'm getting scared. So I've been wearing either the orange shorts or the Calvin Klein briefs.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And then, you know, I'm wearing one of my old soft t-shirts or if it's a bit warmer, perhaps some sort of tank top that I find in my closet randomly, any tank top that's soft and comfortable. Then I'm brushing my teeth, not flossing every night. Sorry, I'm not. I floss sometimes, but not every night. But I'm definitely brushing every night. I brush. I wash my face with a gentle, milky cleanser.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I've been fucking around with retinol. So I have a retinol oil three to four times a week. I'll put that on and then top it with moisturizer, a thin sort of light moisturizer. I don't love super thick moisturizers. especially because I love oils. Like I don't need a thick moisturizer and an oil. I prefer a lighter moisturizer and then an oil. That's what my skin likes. Don't ask.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Like, I don't know if I can finish this matcha. I'm really, I'm a bit worried. I'm a bit worried that this is going to really push me over the edge. So I'm starting to feel a little bit shaky, a little bit anxious. So let's just begin before I start dissociating or something. Okay. So I'm going to be sharing with you my generic weekday routine. Obviously there are exceptions. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
So on a retinol night, we're doing the retinol and then we're doing the moisturizer. Then that's it because my retinol is an oil. On nights when I'm not doing retinol, wash the face, light moisturizer, top it off with a beautiful, beautiful oil. Just like a hydrating, nourishing oil. I was really into using chemical exfoliants for a long time, many years.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
A toner or a serum that has some sort of chemical exfoliant property because that can help with sort of refreshing the skin or whatever. But since I started using retinol, I haven't been using any of those products because I'm frightened that if I do, I'll just over irritate my skin. So I'm just doing retinol right now. That is the only sort of irritant that I'm using.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Everything else is like purely just hydrating or nourishing. Like I'm not using anything else that strips at all because I'm just frightened. You know, if I'm going to do like a face mask just because I'm in the mood, I'm not using anything stripping. I just don't want to run into any issues. So I'm being very careful, but I'm actually loving the retinol so far. I feel like my skin looks great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I don't feel like me removing the exfoliant products from my routine has caused me to like get clogged pores or anything. The retinol seems to be doing its thing and I don't really need anything else. Okay, then it's time to get into bed. I'm turning on my heating pad to either medium hot or hot. So, you know, it's up high.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And I'm putting on a little silk bonnet on my hair because my hair is bleached. And I don't want breakage in the back of my head from sleeping and moving around on my pillow. And then recently I've been turning on TV and watching an episode of some sort of TV series. And this is so unlike me. Because for so long, I did not do this. But now this is my thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Like I was super into Squid Game recently. That was the last sort of series I seriously watched. I'll rewatch old shows that I love, like just TV. And then at around 1130 or midnight, I go to bed. And that's it. And then I wake up the next day and do it all over again. And you know, it's interesting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
You might have noticed that throughout the day, I didn't talk about turning on a YouTube video during my lunch or, you know, watching YouTube shorts when I'm on the toilet. And that's because I don't do that anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I was recently having a conversation with somebody who's close to me about like internet consumption and how even watching YouTube, something that I absolutely adore, is still internet consumption. And even though a lot of times it's educational or it's comforting or whatever, it is still consuming and it is still putting useless information into your brain a lot of times.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And then, ironically, I saw this video on my YouTube Explore page, and it was a video by this man, and the title was something like, Stop Consuming, Start Creating. And it was like this inspiring video of this man talking about how he was wasting so much time consuming that it was getting in the way of him creating. And I thought it was so fascinating. And I was like, huh, you know what?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I deleted the YouTube app right there. And I fucking love YouTube. I'm the first, it is my favorite website on the planet. Okay, I absolutely adore YouTube. I'm so loyal to it. I think it's an incredible platform. But, you know, it is my job to create things for YouTube. You know, it's my job to create things in general. And I think I was consuming too much YouTube, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And it was getting in the way of me creating. And what was so fascinating was after I deleted it, creating things, recording episodes, working on Chamberlain Coffee, coming up with concepts for Chamberlain Coffee, you know, working on concepts for my YouTube channel, all of this became easier. And I was like, damn. Okay. Well, during the week then, no YouTube, no YouTube at all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
When I'm traveling, if I have a photo shoot or if I have some sort of one-off like event, like every year I have a handful of events that I go to. Like there are some events that I go to for my coffee company, like some expos, you know, where we showcase our product to people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
On the weekends, who gives a fuck? You know, and I did delete the app off of my phone, but like I can pull it up on my laptop. It was mainly an issue on my phone because I'd be on my toilet, you know, scrolling on YouTube shorts and then in bed scrolling on shorts, eating lunch, pull up a YouTube video on my phone. Anyway, I've been sort of existing in silence forever. for a while now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And it's so incredible for me creatively. It just, I don't know why, it just works for me. And so that guy in that YouTube video that got recommended to me, ironically, because it got recommended to me on YouTube, kind of changed my life a little bit. I mean, I really am grateful to that guy. I want to try to find that video. Let me try to find that video so that we can give him a shout out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Who is this guy? Let's see if I can find it. Oh my God, if I can't find it, I'm going to be really sad. Come on. Where is this guy? Can I be honest? I can't find him. I'm kind of heartbroken. Come on. It was like a man standing like in a forest. He was wearing like warm clothes. It's from what I can remember. And I think he had like either an Australian accent or perhaps an English accent.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Man, I'm sorry. I really wanted to find you and I really wanted to say that you changed my life, but I cannot find you anywhere. I'm going to try a little bit harder. I told, oh my God, it's religious. Oh wait, no, that's not the right guy. Is it? I don't think that was the right guy. Hold on. Where is the fucking video? Wait, is it this guy? Okay, I'm so sorry, you guys.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I really tried to find my best friend, this guy that motivated me. I cannot find his video and I'm starting to wonder if it got deleted, which would be a huge shame. But anyway, I'm sending loving energy to that guy because that was a really, really eye-opening sort of perspective. It was like what I needed to hear in that moment. And it really, really has helped me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Um, if I get bored during the day, instead of going on YouTube, now I will call someone. I'll call my parents. I'll call a friend. I'll call someone. Or if I'm like on the toilet and I just want to scroll for like three minutes. Okay. I'll either go on tag walk, which is an app that updates every time there's a runway show.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
So I can like look at new fashion collections or I'll go on Pinterest and just scroll around on there. easy. But yeah, I'm not really consuming anything right now. And can I be honest? It feels so good. Like my one episode of television at the end of the day is the perfect amount. It's entertainment. It allows me to unwind. I've actually been really enjoying it. So I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
That's what's working for me right now. But trust me, I'm not anti YouTube. Okay. I love YouTube. And on the weekends, I'll fucking open up my laptop and go on YouTube all day long if I want, because it's the weekend. The weekend is a free for all. And that's it. That's my routine right now. I'm actually really enjoying it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
It sounds like a lot of walking and a lot of working and a lot of yoga and a lot of podcasting. That is true. I actually really love all of those things. I love making podcast episodes more than I ever have in my entire podcasting career, to be honest. And I think part of that has to do with how well it fits into this routine, you know? But I also am loving yoga.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
like grocery store buyers, like I have weird events like that that I go to, you know, like sometimes I'll have a handful of random meetings and, you know, those meetings are in person. So I'm like out of my house and my routine is broken. But my routine for the most part right now is super consistent with, you know, an occasional day that deviates from it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
It's like the one part of the day where I'm truly centered and like, There's just something so incredible about that. I love walking. It's great for decompressing. I love walking while I work because it can kind of like help get the blood moving and like the brain moving. And I don't know, there's just something about it where it can be really incredible. I love veggie burgers.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Like I like my routine. I like having three caffeinated beverages a day. It's the perfect amount. Today I'm having four. It's totally frightening. I've only drank half of it. Am I going to finish it? Probably not. It's 6.30 now. Probably shouldn't finish that. That will just screw up the rest of my week. But yeah, I'm loving my routine. It's feeling so good for me. It feels so catered to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And, you know, there's a lot of discipline involved. There's a lot of working involved, but not to the point that I'm feeling burnt out. It's like the perfect amount for me. And when the weekend rolls around, you know, all bets are off. The only thing that remains the same is that I wake up at 7am. I wake up at 7am every day now because I find that I just feel the best when I do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Uh, I still go to yoga on the weekends a lot of times just cause I love it so much. I just genuinely want to go. I still get my 10,000 steps a day on the weekends. Cause again, I love doing that and you know, it's fun. But when it comes to like getting worked on, absolutely not.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I don't allow myself to work on the weekends unless for whatever reason I really want to, or I have to, for some reason, I like to just hang out on the weekends and The weekends are for getting dressed up into a cute little outfit and walking around town, okay? That is what I do almost every weekend. I've tried to do other things.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Like there was a brief little period there where I was super into like going on a hike on the weekends. or, you know, going rock climbing. And I still love that stuff. But the truth is what I really want to do on the weekends is get dressed up and walk around town. Okay. What's walking around town? Popping into stores, just looking around, popping into coffee shops, getting a coffee.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Oh, it's been another hour. I'll get another one. Getting a pastry. Okay. Getting lunch at a cute little restaurant, sitting there for three fucking hours. Who cares? It's the weekend. Go into a little crystal shop. I don't even know anything about crystals. I don't care about crystals because I don't even know anything about them. They have good energy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I don't know what's happening, but I'm in here because I can because it's the weekend. Oh my God, look, it's another vintage store. I guess I'll go in. Oh, everything in here is absolute junk. It's a bunch of like Disneyland hoodies. This is fun. I just like to walk around town, you know? I'll do that all day in my cute little outfit because for the rest of the week, we know I'm not doing that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I'm in my various different versions of sweatpants. So on the weekend, it's time to look cute. And let me tell you, I cannot remember a weekend where I haven't looked incredibly chic. Just banger after banger.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And what tends to happen is during the week, if for whatever reason I do need to get dressed for some reason, like I'm going to a meeting or, you know, I have an appointment where I need to be dressed up for it, whatever, not dressed up, but like in a normal outfit, not just sweatpants, I'll just re-wear, you know, one of the outfits that I created on the weekend.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
But for the most part, this is what I do every single day. Starting at 7 a.m. I recently have been waking up at 7 a.m. and it feels absolutely incredible. I feel like 7 a.m. is the perfect wake-up time for me. When I wake up at 5, I'm exhausted by 4 p.m. Exhausted, okay? If I wake up at 6 a.m., I'm exhausted by like 6 p.m. And that's not good because there's a lot of day left still. 7 a.m.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And then I'll just re-wear that outfit however many times until I feel like too many people have seen it. But like, that's when I experiment. I experiment on the weekends and then I can use those outfits that I came up with throughout the weekdays if I need them. But on the weekend, I have time to put together an outfit. It's fun. I want to.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I also love running errands on the weekend and taking my time, spending three hours at the grocery store, getting nails done, getting my hair done, you know, getting a massage, like just getting appointments, errands, all of that done. And I also love going out to dinner. My God, I love going out to dinner. Texting friends, who's free? Let's go to dinner. That's what the weekend's about.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I used to have a little glass of wine. Not anymore, I'm sober. It's fucking miserable. I'd do anything for a glass of wine. But let me tell you, nothing can ruin going out to dinner. on a fucking Friday, Saturday, or Sunday for me. No one can ruin that for me. Nothing can ruin that for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Not even an alcohol allergy that's preventing me from drinking the glass of wine that I so desperately think that I need and deserve. I'm kind of kidding, okay? I actually don't miss drinking that much, but there was something so fucking delightful about having a glass of wine out at a restaurant for dinner. I miss it, but not that much. I'm being dramatic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I don't know how the caffeine affected me. I actually didn't have that much. I probably drank like a third of my matcha latte. So from a caffeine standpoint, like I should be okay. And that episode shouldn't have been too chaotic because I didn't have that much more caffeine than usual.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I am going to take all of the ice out of this matcha latte and put it in the fridge and drink it tomorrow because I know I cannot have any more. I really cannot have any more. We're done. We're done. That's my daily routine. I hope that this was somewhat interesting to you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Like I truly, after I stop recording this episode, will pray up to whatever is above that you found this somewhat interesting. The only glimmer of hope that I have is that if somebody else made this episode, I would be interested in it. But maybe I'm a freak and a stalker. And maybe I'm overly interested in other human beings. Like maybe I'm weird. Maybe that's a weird thing. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
So hopefully you enjoyed this episode. And if you did, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Come hang out again. Maybe you'll like the next one too. You can stream anywhere you get podcasts. Video episodes are on Spotify and YouTube, okay? Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I'm on social media at Emma Chamberlain and my coffee company is online at chamberlaincoffee.com and at chamberlaincoffee on social media and in person in a grocery store near you, okay? Target, Sprouts, Whole Foods, the list goes on. Check the store locator online to see if we're in a store near you. And that's it. That's all I have for today. I hope that you all enjoyed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
If you did, please tell me. Please compliment me. Please tell me that you liked it because I really, really feel like this episode was just fucking weird and I just told you too much. And I told you too much about stuff that you just did not even care about. So please let me know if you liked it. And if you didn't like it, feel free to leave a hate comment, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
My Instagram account is at ellendegenerous, okay? So find my account and then you can leave the comment there. Anyway, I'm sorry, Ellen DeGeneres. I don't know. I just, people say I look like Ellen DeGeneres in my pixie cut. So that's why I said that. It's nothing personal to Ellen. Ellen, don't like hurt me or something. Okay, that's it. I love you all. It was so much fun to hang out with you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
It always is. I love you and appreciate you. And I'm just grateful that we get to spend time together twice a week because I really enjoy doing it. So yeah. All right. I'll talk to you in a few days. All right. Bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I need to have three caffeinated beverages a day, but it's kind of the perfect time for me because any later than that and I just don't feel like I have enough day to work with. I don't feel like I have enough daylight to work with. I've noticed the 7 a.m.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
wake up time allows me to like have a really relaxed morning and then also get work done in the morning time before my other activities start, which will make sense in a moment. So I've been waking up at 7am and I'm not going to lie to you. Okay. I can't wake up at 7am on my own right now. I don't know what it is. I can't hear an alarm. I don't know what's wrong with me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I literally cannot hear the alarm. So I have to have someone help me wake up. Now, listen, Luckily for me, there is someone who sleeps at my house with me probably 95% of the time. So that person wakes me up. Without that person, I would sleep probably until noon. I'm not kidding. This person has to shake me awake every morning, fully shake me awake. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
From there, I put on my fuzzy robe, of course, warm socks, preferably wool, put on my little slip-on slippers that are a bit fuzzy. I've been wearing them for the past like six years. Go downstairs and it's time to make a coffee. I just recently bought a new coffee machine and this thing is a fucking beast, okay? I completely splurged on this thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And I'm really trying to stop napping because I've just noticed that it ultimately only holds me back in life. It tends to have a net negative effect on my life. In the moment, taking a nap feels incredible. And a lot of times taking a nap is actually quite helpful because it ultimately gives me the energy to complete the rest of my day. But then it's harder to fall asleep at night.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
For a long time, I used a really standard home barista coffee machine. It was super user-friendly. It was super easy to use. You know, a lot of the complicated elements of making espresso were sort of done for you with that machine and I absolutely loved it. But I had always dreamed of getting a more sophisticated machine.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Something higher quality, something, you know, beautifully designed, something like really respected in the industry. And I always sort of dreamed of getting the classic Italian espresso machine that you see in 90% of cafes you go to. And they make mini ones for the home. And I had always dreamed of getting one.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
But I told myself, Emma, you're not allowed to get one until you're at a place in your life where you're actually going to learn how to use it properly because you have to do everything manually. It used to be like I press a few buttons and my espresso is done with the Breville machine. Not anymore. Now I have a separate machine for grinding the beans.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
So I turned that thing on and it took me like a week to get it set. I'm not going to get into the nerdy details about it, but you have to get the grind size perfect in the exact amount of seconds that you want to be grinding to get the exact amount of grams of beans. And then you have to weigh it. And I have a scale now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
You know, I put it in the portafilter, which is like that thing, you know, that you twist into the espresso machine and then you pour it into there. And then I have this little thing. where it's like a bunch of little, like a little needles almost, okay? Like imagine like a little cork looking thing that has needles sticking out the bottom of it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And I take that thing and I, in the portafilter, I like distribute, evenly distribute the coffee grounds, okay? Then I take this first little thing that sort of tamps it down and I sort of screw that on. Then I take one more thing and... press it down a bit firmer, tamp it again. Then I plug it in to the espresso machine or like screw it into the machine. I put down another scale.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I have two scales. This one starts counting. There's a little clock on it. It starts counting when like the fluid starts running from the I'm trying to get basically 36 grams of fluid because that's a double shot of espresso. 36 grams of fluid in 25 to 35 seconds approximately. So I'm like watching and then I turn it off. The second it hits... you know, 36 grams, ideally within that time frame.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
It's a whole fucking thing now. Okay. I'm into it. And I mean, I probably should have gotten into it sooner because I founded a coffee company. Like you would think that I would have gotten nerdy about it sooner, but I actually had the opposite mentality. I was like, most people don't do this. Most people don't drink their coffee like this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
So I don't want to drink my coffee like that because I don't want to make product for this niche coffee loving group that, that weighs the beans and understands how to grind. Like most people don't drink coffee like that. Most people are drinking it out of an average machine that does all this shit for you. So I don't want to be, I want to be a home barista. But then I was like, nah, fuck it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I'm going to get nerdy with it. And I absolutely love it. It's made me like fall in love with coffee all over again. I'm absolutely loving it. Anyway, so I make a double shot of espresso and then I steam my homemade milk because I make milk from scratch using a milk maker. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
It's almond coconut cashew milk sweetened with maple syrup and flavored with a bit of almond extract and a bit of coconut extract. I steam that and nut pod vanilla creamer. I mix those two things together. And that's my morning latte. And it's fucking delicious. I feel like it's mastered. You know, it's perfect for me. And then occasionally I'll have a 9 a.m. yoga class.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I end up falling asleep later and then I end up waking up later the next day. And then that makes me depressed because I'm like, oh my God, no, is my day ruined? Should I wake up too late? And then for the rest of the day, I'm kind of in a funk and I'm trying to get out of it. And a lot of times I can and it's fine, but the day never feels as good as it does when I wake up early.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And then in that case, I'll go to yoga. But I don't want to talk about yoga yet because usually I go to yoga at 12 p.m. So just imagine that sometimes at this point I have my coffee, I poop, and then it's like, okay, we're going to yoga. But most of the time it's at noon. It depends. It depends on what instructor is instructing and I'm, I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
But usually immediately after my coffee and my little poop, I start working. I'm talking about immediately. Okay, I'm still in my robe. I haven't brushed my teeth. I haven't brushed my hair. And I get on my computer and I start working immediately. Now, this could be a number of things. This could be working on a podcast outline. This could be responding to emails.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I'm horrible at responding to emails. A Zoom call of some sort. It could be editing stuff. I edit things a lot, different videos or whatever. So I don't know. It could be organizing, scheduling stuff. There's a lot of different random things that I might do. After I sort of get things together, then I actually like to record a podcast in the morning.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
If I feel like I have time before my workout at 12, I will do it. Otherwise, I'll just work on other stuff until my yoga at 12. But if I am going to record a podcast, the preparation for that...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
basically consists of making another caffeinated drink, either an iced latte, which is the exact same thing as what I described this morning, except I don't steam the milk, or an iced matcha latte, which would be plain matcha or like vanilla infused matcha. I make a shot of matcha, you know, with the bowl and the whisk and the whole thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And I mix a little bit of almond extract into the matcha and a little bit of maple syrup to kind of round out the flavor. Mix that in and then make a latte out of it. Pour it over ice with the homemade milk and the nut pod. Delish. Okay, that's what I'm drinking right now. But anyway, if I'm going to record, I always make myself some sort of caffeinated beverage. Because it just feels special.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
You know, there's something magical about like just having a little drink sitting next to me when I record. And caffeine helps with the talking, of course. And then usually I'll get dressed from the waist up. You know, like I want to be respectful to your eyes. And it's kind of fun. Like I actually enjoy getting dressed up from the waist up. It's like very COVID-19 core.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
When we were all, you know, working on Zoom and stuff or, you know, going to school on Zoom. life was on zoom and you know, on video call on webcam or whatever. And so we were all getting dressed from the waist up because people were only seeing us from the waist up. I still do that. But for the podcast, I'm always wearing a sweat pant, but from the waist up, I'll get a little dressed up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
You know, the podcast is on video now, so I'll put on a little, a little something, no makeup though. That's where I draw the line. Sorry, not putting a makeup on. I will put a little bit of like a tinted lip product on, but other than that, no. And then I'll record a podcast and we get to hang out. What a joy, what a treat. And then after that, usually it's time for yoga, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
And then, you know, the next night I try to go to bed earlier, but then because I went to bed later the last night, it's harder to go to bed earlier. And because I woke up later, do you see what I'm saying? So like, I don't like napping. So I'm having another matcha, matcha number three, caffeinated beverage number four. I am going to be a fucking menace for the next hour.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
If we're doing the 12 p.m. yoga. Now to prepare for yoga, I start out by filling up one of my three Stanley cups with electrolytes. Okay. Love the strawberry lemonade one. Okay. And then I mix that with a teensy bit of raspberry flavored electrolytes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
I do a little bit of both because it's such a large cup of water, jug of water that I end up drinking for the rest of the day that that's why I mix them. And I like the way that they taste together. Okay. And if you're like a doctor and that's too much electrolytes, sorry, I like the way it tastes and I could be drinking far worse. Okay. I could be drinking alcohol. I could be drinking hard drugs.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
You don't usually drink those, but like I could find a way if I wanted to. So fuck off. Okay. I'm mixing a little bit of two different electrolyte drinks, powders into one drink. And I probably am getting like too much potassium or something. But shut the fuck up, okay? I don't have a kidney stone yet. I might soon, but not yet. So shut the fuck up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my daily routine, explained (again) [video]
Okay, so that's what I make in my little Stanley cup. And then I get dressed. I'm almost always wearing... a little tight pair of black sort of spandex and a plain black sports bra. I'm just all about the all black workout gear. Okay. I do have like, I'm not kidding. Maybe like two workout items that are not maybe, okay. Maybe three workout items that are not just black.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
I've noticed something about us as a society. We really know how to ruin a good thing. Yeah, we do. And we do it time and time again. We take something good and we completely obliterate the culture around it. And we completely sell it out. And we make it so corporate that it's unbearable. We really know how to ruin a good thing. Stick with me here. I'll give you an example, okay? The Stanley Cup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
The holidays are about eating together. It's about going into your closet 24 hours before Halloween and saying, what the fuck am I going to do? That's what the holidays are about. That's what makes it wholesome. You know, it's also, listen, it's also fun to participate in the corporate elements sometimes. Sometimes you want to go buy a fancy Halloween costume.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
You want to go buy, you know, a really expensive gift for a loved one. Sometimes that brings joy. Sometimes that's incredible. Sometimes that's magical. And that's why it's sort of complicated. It's like, like the holidays feel like a corporate event. It's up to us to make the holidays wholesome again. But it's hard to do that. I don't know. But I think the holidays are kind of awesome.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
And like, I'm in a phase of my life now where I'm like, if it's a holiday, I'm gonna fucking celebrate, you know, like, This year, I set up a tree in my house, you know, which I had skipped for the last few years. I whipped out the board games. You know, I really spent a lot of time with family. And, you know, I don't know. I just I really leaned into it. Yeah, I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
Maybe I'm wrong, but that's how I feel. Okay, moving on. Disneyland. I feel like now, if you want to go to Disneyland or Disney World or any sort of Disney theme park, people automatically are like, you're a Disney adult. What is a Disney adult? A Disney adult is an adult who absolutely loves Disney. Now, what's wrong with being a Disney adult, you may ask? Nothing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
But people are very judgmental of Disney adults. It's become sort of like almost an internet meme, okay? Like making fun of adults who enjoy Disneyland. And everyone's like, grow up, freak, you know? Disneyland is fun, okay? Disney World, I've never been, but it's probably really fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
And I don't know exactly how it happened, how closely it relates to the Stanley Cup collectors, but I feel like Stanley Cups have become sort of associated with a level of chooginess in the way that we absolutely couldn't stand the Ugg boots immediately after Ugg boots were trendy in the early 2010s, or it was actually mid-2010s, or early to mid-2010s.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
I think a lot of people write off how fun Disney theme parks are out of fear that by going there, they're a nerd, a freak, a Disney adult. There's nothing wrong with being a Disney adult. Also, being obsessed with something, like if you really love Disneyland, good for you. Thank God you have a hobby. Like, now than ever, we need to like things. We need to have hobbies. We're a very lonely...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
Society, according to some articles I've seen, we have less friends than ever. We leave the house less than ever. We're more isolated than ever. For fuck's sake, we need hobbies. If you love Disneyland, you have something that you care about. You have something to get out and go do. You have something to make friends over, bond over with people. That's incredible. Disney is sort of magical.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
You know what it is? I haven't been to Disneyland in so many years. Actually, I really want to go. But like the fear to go to Disneyland every few years, to go to Disney World every few years, whatever, because it's like, oh, that's not cool. I just think that that's lame. And just like, shut the fuck up. Who cares? Good for them. Again, thank God they have a hobby.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
I bet you don't have a hobby if you're shitting on Disney adults. And I think the judgment towards these people who absolutely love Disney is also getting in the way of the average person who vaguely enjoys Disney, but, you know, would probably enjoy a day at a theme park. Why not? It prevents those people from like being like, hey, I'll go give that a try.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
You know, I'll go spend the day at Disneyland. Fuck it. Why not? Could be fun. Very expensive, but could be fun, you know? Okay, I'll give an example. I recently said to a group of people like, oh, I want to go to Disneyland. And I got mixed responses. Some people were like, oh, fuck yeah, I'm down. And then other people were like, ew, no. And I'm like, ew, no? Why? Tell me why.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
Is it because of the lines? Okay, that's fair. But it's never because of the lines. Is it because of the food? You don't like the food there? Hmm. The food's delicious. And also there's lots of, is it because it's expensive? That's fair. Oh, it's not because of that. It's never for a valid reason. There are many reasons to not like Disneyland, but that's never why people don't like it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
That's never why people don't want to go. It's because they're judging it. They think it's weird. They think it's nerdy because that's sort of the culture around it. But I think it's unfair. Moving on. Romantic love. I think there's like a lot of judgment around the concept of romance these days. Like the idea of two people being soulmates, falling in love, getting married, having a family.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
I feel like the general conversation around love is very pessimistic and very negative. If you see maybe a couple online, Honestly, even if you have a happy couple in your life, there's always sort of gossip like they're going to break up in a few years. They're going to get divorced in a few years. They're both desperate. They don't really love each other. Look at the way they look at each other.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
Like it doesn't even seem genuine. Oh, they got married. That's cringe and outdated. Like, ew, who gets married anymore? What are we living in the 1800s? True love doesn't exist, all this stuff.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
By the way, I have a podcast episode on this podcast, Anything Goes, called like Romantic Love is an Illusion or something, question mark, where basically I talk about how a lot of times I think romantic love is an illusion and we have, you know, intimate relationships with people that are maybe romantic, but we actually don't even really truly love each other, perhaps, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
Um, because I think depending on what your definition of love is, which is not just like feeling really affectionate towards somebody or feeling really attracted to somebody, it's a bit more complex. It's more about being like, I want this person to be happy no matter what, you know, like this person's happiness and wellbeing is, is important.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
and is my priority in this relationship above my own in a way. Like, if this person is going to be happier without me, then to love them is to let them go. Like, it's that sort of idea, right? And I think a lot of times we're in a romantic partnership with people and we don't fucking feel that way. We don't feel selfless at all towards that person, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
And a lot of times we're experiencing lust or we're experiencing... you know, without even realizing it, gaining something else from the person, perhaps financial security, perhaps confidence, if it's somebody that we find attractive and they find us attractive, just that can simply make us feel like, oh, I must love this person.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
We all hated Ugg boots for a few years, thought they were absolutely hideous because they were so basic for a few years there. It's like the same thing with the Stanley Cup. It's become like a choogy cup. It's not cool to have that cup. It's sort of Karen coated. It's sort of, it's just a mess. The culture around the Stanley Cup has been ruined. And I think it's unfair.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
But it's like, no, they're just helping you build your confidence or actually giving you something else. So I've myself been pessimistic about romantic love before. I think there are many reasons to be sort of pessimistic or skeptical. I think it's good to be skeptical, pessimistic, less so. But I think it's like to be sort of skeptical, I don't think is wrong. Right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
But I think there's this like understandable, but ultimately harmful pessimism when it comes to romantic love these days. I understand it. I completely get it because it is complicated. And a lot of times it doesn't work out. There isn't actually love between the two people. A lot of times people fuck up. They cheat on each other. They hurt each other really badly emotionally. It's not easy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
You know what I'm saying? So that's why I understand why we're all so pessimistic about it. But I think we're at a point now where, as a society, in a way, we're so pessimistic about romantic love that it's like we're not even giving it a chance to exist in a way. Like, we don't even believe it exists anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
It's only made worse by sort of hookup culture and stuff where the sort of trend in dating has been... less about commitment and more about sort of experimentation and just kind of enjoying the act of sex, which I think is fine. And if that's what works for you, that's what works for you. But I think for a lot of people, myself included, it doesn't work.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
And it actually ends up being like a really sort of at times traumatizing, disheartening experience that then leads to, you know, people feeling like, how can real love exist if I can date so casually, if I can date so like meaninglessly? It can confuse people. It's confused me even. Yeah.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
We've definitely destroyed the culture around romantic love by number one, focusing on what can go wrong, cheating, lying, manipulation, divorce, focusing on that and not, I guess, giving maybe enough airtime to the times when it does work out, but also to hook up culture. I think the two of them have sort of ruined the culture around it. Okay, next.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
I think we've ruined the online discourse around things like mental health, things about personal experiences, things about challenges. That conversation has been destroyed. Like that cultural conversation has sort of been destroyed, in my opinion. I think many years ago, no one was really talking about their challenges. Nobody was really talking about their struggles. It was a lot more hush-hush.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
And slowly but surely on the internet, you know, people, myself included, for whatever reason, just felt emboldened to just start talking about these things, right? Yeah. And I think for a long time it was deeply appreciated. It was like, whoa, this is so helpful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
It's so helpful to hear about people's challenges, whether it's like mental health related or it's just like a personal story or it's a challenging experience, like whatever it may be, having these sorts of vulnerable conversations on the internet was really celebrated and appreciated. And that sort of bled into real life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
I think it's a shame because I think the Stanley Cup is an incredible cup. I have three of them and I use them all. constantly. They're all constantly in rotation. I have two different types of beverages. I put in two out of the three of the Stanley cups. I always have sparkling water with apple cider vinegar in one because that's a drink that I like to drink. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
I think a lot of people, especially young people, became more comfortable with just talking about shit, you know, with their friends, perhaps even their parents or their teachers or their school counselor or whatever. Like, I just feel like the whole culture became more open over the last few years. But I think there's been a shift
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
where now the culture around talking about your feelings, talking about your challenges, telling your stories, I've noticed that the culture around it has shifted. People are not as accepting of this anymore. And I think that that's because, number one, I think it became something that people could profit off of and benefit from. It used to be that telling a vulnerable story was a big feat.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
Everybody was afraid to do it. Now, I think people will perhaps even exaggerate or lie online because they know that being vulnerable in some way will get them a lot of views, right? And I don't think most people are doing that. However... it's starting to become hard to tell, right? And I think some people are doing that, exaggerating, lying for the sake of fame, views, money, whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
And then in real life, I think people have realized like, oh, if I talk about certain struggles, people have maybe started to, at times, not all the time, but at times, abuse that Like, oh, if I say I have anxiety to my boss, then I won't have to do this part of my job that I don't want to do. Now, the problem with that is there's always going to be some who lie and who abuse this sort of thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
And that will always ruin it for the people who genuinely, genuinely have a challenge that they need to talk about or need to share with somebody because it's a survival thing. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, It it gets complicated in that way. And I think because now nobody really seems to be afraid to tell vulnerable stories, nobody really seems to be afraid to talk about mental health.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
And in fact, they're actually lying about it or even exaggerating about it at times for the sake of, you know, whatever. It's sort of ruined the conversation as a whole. There's always a level of skepticism of like, are you talking about this for the right reasons? I've noticed with celebrities, people look at celebrities who struggle and are like, okay, number one, you have so many resources.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
Why are you struggling? That's weird. And then number two, are you just saying this to win us over? Are you saying this to... seem relatable, even worse so with influencers who share their mental health struggles.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
Everyone's like, are you just pretending to have mental health struggles because you gained notoriety for having mental health struggles and now you're just pretending to have them still, even though now you're rich and famous and you definitely don't have struggles anymore? it's very complicated. But it just seems like a lot of people cried wolf in a way. And now no one trusts anyone anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
And I think it's a shame because it's like, I think it was a really good thing for a while there, but I think it kind of got ruined. But I think it's still a good conversation to have, you know, as much as we can. OK, next we have pickleball. Listen, I still haven't played pickleball because of how much I dislike the culture around it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
It's weird, but it's tasty to me. And it, I feel like makes my tummy happy, but I don't know. And there's definitely no science backing that up because I've Googled it. And then I also have another one filled with electrolytes because I love hot yoga and I'm constantly dehydrated.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
It's become this like trendy, pretentious thing that I just am like I'm completely put off by it. I bet I would love it. But if I want to go play pickleball, I have to go pay $40 to rent an hour at a court. By the way, I don't know if it's actually $40. I'm just guessing. I have to try to find a pickleball court that's open, which is impossible because it's so popular.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
And I have to pay a bunch of money and everyone's obsessed with it to the point where now it's sort of considered choogy. Like it's not cool anymore to play pickleball. If you like pickleball, it's the same thing. It's the same fucking thing as the office and the Beatles. Okay. It's genuinely really fun. And that's why a lot of people like it. But it just got completely ruined.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
In this case, though, I think it's really sort of sold out. You know what I mean? Like there's like pickleball clubs that have opened in Los Angeles. I'm not really aware of how they work or what they even are. But to me, that sounds like I don't know what's going to happen to that in 10 years. I don't know. But everybody's buying all the equipment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
People are paying money to rent, go to the court. And like, well, okay, listen, if you live in like a small town, you can probably play pickleball all day long and it's free and it's fun. All you had to do is buy the racket. Great. If you live in Los Angeles, good luck. Okay. One day I went with someone to go play tennis.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
We were going to try to play tennis because I don't know, it just sounded fun. And we had never played tennis before, but we were like, oh, we'll go try it. And we went to a local court and like a public court. And it was all full for the rest of the day. And a bunch of people were playing pickleball. I don't know. It's like the whole thing, it's so mass. It's become so choogy.
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But I actually bet pickleball is fun. And once the hype dies down a bit... And it's a little bit less like of a thing. And I can actually find like an available, I don't have to rent an hour at a pickleball court, two days. No, not even, honestly, two weeks in advance. I'll try pickleball. But for now, it's like the barrier to entry here is tough. That's number one.
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And number two, it's become sort of cringe in a way, which I think is a shame because I think it's probably really fun. Next, being into skincare. Okay. skincare is and has been such a cultural phenomenon for, like, the last five to ten years. Like, I feel like we're really into skincare and, like, into it to a point where we know the ingredients. You know? Like, I don't think my mom...
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And then I have a third that is there for emergencies for if one of them's in the dishwasher or for my loved ones when they come over to my house and want a big jug of a liquid because you'd be shocked at how often people want that when they come to my house. Yeah, I could make you a glass of water in a glass, or I could make you a glass of water in a Stanley cup and you could stay a while.
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really knew about like an AHA, BHA exfoliant when she was in her 20s. She had no clue what that fucking was. And now, you know, everybody knows everything about skincare. And it's sort of a rabbit hole that you can so easily fall down. And we've all been falling down it for the last few years to a point where we've taken our cultural skincare obsession to a ridiculous point, right?
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For example, you know, middle schoolers are now into skincare. Children who do not have acne yet, who do not need to be using skincare products, you know, and at times it's actually even... potentially harmful for children to be using skincare products. They're using things that are meant for older skin.
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Everybody's obsessed with an intense overnight routine where they're putting on eye patches and a face mask and a lip mask and a jaw mask and a red light thing and all of this. And, you know, in the morning it takes like 10 minutes to take everything off.
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And, you know, there's viral products, trendy products, intense methods of like, you know, anti-aging, like taping your face or like there's just, it's gotten to a point where it's crazy. A lot of it's irrational, not even effective a lot of times, like some of it's not even effective.
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And I think that this sort of hysteria around skincare has ruined the culture around it to the point where now it's confusing for people who say, just like enjoy taking care of themselves, right? Like I'm somebody who, because I have struggled with my skin in the past, have learned a lot about skincare and I find it really interesting and I like trying new products and stuff.
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I'm careful about it, very, very careful about it. But you know, I have a lot of brands that I like. I have a lot of products that I like. And I like experimenting. And I like using products. I like the way that certain products make me feel. But I don't even want to talk about skincare with people or watch videos about skincare because they've gotten so extreme.
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And that's a bummer, I guess, because it's now something that causes me stress. I'm like, I don't know who to trust. There's so much information. It all seems kind of bullshit. Half the time, it's feeding my shopping addiction, which is unhealthy because I'm trying to not have the shopping addiction anymore. I don't know. I feel like being into skincare is now...
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Something it's become sort of a skincare has become a monster in a way. And I think it's a shame because I think taking care of your skin is actually a really enjoyable, luxurious, but also like helpful practice. Now it's just considered like overkill. And I don't think all of skincare is overkill, you know, because there's so much misinformation or like extreme practices.
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You know what I'm saying? I love the Stanley cup and the culture around it has been absolutely ruined. And that's the whole point of this episode. We ruin everything. We ruin everything. And Stanley cups are not the only victim of our wrath as a society. I have a list of approximately 20 things that,
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It's just sort of, I think, made a lot of people feel like, well, the whole thing seems fishy to me. Do you know what I'm saying? Also, too, there's so many skincare sponsorships. I've done skincare sponsorships, you know? So that also makes it confusing. It's just like, it's so saturated. I don't know. It's overwhelming. Next, we have Jane Birkening, The Bag. I've talked about this so much.
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It's the concept based on Jane Birkin, a model who would carry around her Birkin bag every day. And as she went on with her life, she would attach things to her Birkin. For example, tie a bandana onto it that she was wearing one day but got too hot and took it off and tied it onto the bag. Untie her watch one day when she doesn't want to wear it anymore and attach it to the bag.
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You know, attach her favorite necklace to it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Attach things to her bag. And over time, it started to look like Jane Birkin's bag. This is Jane Birkin's bag. It has stuff hanging off of it. It's uniquely hers. And it became sort of a trend to mimic this style of accessorizing the bag.
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And I do think that this sort of concept in some ways has been ruined because I think what was so cool about it when Jane Birkin did it was that it was a genuine utilitarian practice. Okay. She was putting, she was taking her watch off and attaching it to her bag, not because it looked cool, but because it was useful.
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You know, she was tying her bandana around her bag because she was like, I might want that bandana at some point. I took it off right now. I'm not going to put it back into my drawer because it actually is kind of nice that it's here on the bag. And if one day I want to put on a bandana, now it's attached to the bag. I have this sentimental necklace I want to carry around with me.
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I'm going to attach it to my bag so that it's with me all the time, but I don't want to wear it because it maybe doesn't match my outfit. I'm not saying these are the reasons why she attached things to her bag. These are just assumptions. But that's sort of what the concept was. And that's what made it so cool.
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And I think sort of the concept now of like, we're attaching all these things to the bag, not because they're sentimental or meaningful, but rather because... it's, it's a trend. The look of it is sort of a trend. I think it took away the personal element of like the whole, I guess the, the whole point of it was that it was personal and it was actually useful.
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And I think by making it a trend, we in a way ruin that. Do I think it's cute? Fuck yeah. Do I think if you think it's cute, you should do it? Fuck yeah. Who cares? But I'm just saying, okay, that I think the true magic of, magic did not follow into the trend because it kind of became ingenuine, you know, and a lot of bag designers started coming out with charms and stuff.
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People are buying, you know, key chains that mean nothing to them. It doesn't have the same magic. Do I think it's wrong or bad? No, but I think, you know, like, I actually think it looks quite cute. And I think it's really smart. Like, let's say I was like, oh, it's a really smart idea.
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Like from like a utilitarian standpoint, from like an actual utility standpoint, it's helpful to attach things to your bag. In fact, I actually do attach one thing to my bag. I have these little hair clips that I wear now that my hair is short because they help me get my bangs out of my face when I want to get my bangs out of my face. And I will clip them to my bag. It's vaguely Jane Birkening.
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that actually are good, like genuinely good things, at least in my opinion, that have been completely destroyed by us. We've ruined these things. We've ruined the culture around them. We've ruined the magic. And today I want to go through that list of things that I think have been ruined by us.
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Not quite. Um, but I got that idea to clip them to my bag because it's nice because they're not like lost in my bag and at the bottom of my bag. So it's nice to have them out and attached. I think it looks cute. And the idea of like attaching it to the bag came from the idea of the Jane Birkening. I was like, wait, I could just attach these clips to the outside.
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There's nothing wrong with the contents of my bag being half in half out. Like that's kind of cool. But let's say I had a bunch of ideas. I was like, oh, you know, I wear a digital watch every day now. I never take it off. But let's say I wanted to. Would I attach it to the bag or would I put it inside? Like, it's almost like now you can't do the Jane Birkening trend authentically.
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It feels like because it's been so corporatized now, it'll always look like, oh, she just is doing the Jane Birkening thing. You know? It's not like, oh, she's authentically doing that. Like, it always looks like, oh, she's trying to be trendy. Now, who cares, right? Like, if you want to do something, you should just do it. Who cares if it's trendy or what anyone says?
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But I'm just saying that I think the culture around it has been sort of ruined. And... I'm not saying that that's wrong. I'm not saying you should avoid it. I'm just saying that that's how I feel about it.
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And that's what I've noticed where now, you know, it's like looked at as a trend, which will ultimately soon become cringe because that's what happens with super, you know, popular, popular, popular trends. they eventually become cringe and stale. Again, none of this really matters and none of this is really that deep, but I'm just analyzing it for the sake of analyzing it.
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I have nothing better to do. Okay, next we have the sweater vest. Okay, the sweater vest was such a trend in like 2019, 2020. I was involved in that trend, you know, I was there. But for some reason, I feel like we've all decided that we hate sweater vests now and that they're completely out and we hate them. But we forget that a sweater vest can exist in many shapes and sizes.
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A sweater vest is not just a V-neck vest with an argyle print on it. A sweater vest is an incredible layering piece. And I think we associate it with 2019, 2020 style. And that takes away from what a sweater vest can be. You know, like if you're online shopping and you're looking through the categories online, you shouldn't ignore the sweater vest section.
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You might find a really incredible layering piece. Do you know what I'm saying? But I think a lot of people now are like, ew, I don't want to wear a sweater vest. I don't want to even look at a sweater vest. We imagine it styled exactly how we styled it in like 2020. And we're stuck in that memory. But it can be so much more than that. Okay, next we have organizing with plastic containers.
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Okay, it has become such an online trend and just like a kitchen, pantry, garage, laundry room, closet, organizational trend to have a container for everything, have acrylic storage for every single little thing. And the whole sort of concept of organization, I think has gone a bit stale for people. I think because it's gone to an extreme, right?
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And I want to remind all of you and even myself that these things are great and that it's our fault for ruining them. But what's sort of beautiful is that we can also fix them. We can bring them back. We can fix the reputation of these things. We can fix the culture around these things if we work together. Without further ado, let's begin. Obviously, Stanley Cup was number one. What's number two?
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Like people aren't just like, oh, it makes sense for me to have a container here. Like using a container is actually gonna be useful for this specific function. It's become this thing of like, everything needs to be aesthetic. Everything needs to be beautiful. And convenience in utilities like coming second, right?
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Like a great example is people are, you know, taking their spices out of their original spice jar that is totally usable and good and putting it into like a plastic one just because it looks aesthetically pleasing to have all of your spices be in matching little containers with cute little labels on it from a cute little label maker, right?
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Now, listen, if that's something that really makes you happy and is your hobby, like, please don't let me get in the way. I don't like policing people and telling people what to do. And I don't like also being like, that's wrong and that's wasteful because it's just not my place. Like, if that really makes you happy and is your hobby, for fuck's sake. do it.
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The problem is it's become irritating to a lot of people who are looking at this sort of lifestyle and they're like, it's so wasteful. It's so stupid. And now the whole concept of containers, going to the container store and organizing your home is considered over-consuming or it's considered excessive or unnecessary. But I actually don't agree.
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I think that there are times when it really does help and it is a great concept and a great thing to tap into. I think The missing piece is it just needs to be intuitive. Like I hired an organizer a few years ago and like did the whole thing and had her like do the whole fucking Instagram organization sort of. I hated it. I hated it. Okay. She did a beautiful job. I hated it. Okay.
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I didn't like having all my spices in the individual spice things. I've, you know, hated refilling them. You know, I had all these different bins for all my different like things in the pantry, even though like having them in their original boxes or bags was totally fine. Like, I hated it. Okay. And so, you know, since then I've, I have all these containers in my garage that now I use intuitively.
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I shouldn't have, I also donated some of the boxes and stuff too, because I just had way too many, but it was an unsustainable lifestyle for me. It was completely ridiculous and I regretted it. And now, you know, I repurpose those sorts of containers for you know, purposes that actually make sense to me. Like, you know, I'm using all the storage food bins for stuff like cat food, right?
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Where like, it's actually really helpful to have the cat food in its own little smaller container because I buy massive bags of cat food that like don't fit in my pantry where I want to store them. Or I make my own nut milk and I buy massive, massive, massive bags of nuts, almonds, coconut shreds, cashews, whatever. And it's kind of frustrating to manage the big bag.
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It's very helpful to put it into smaller containers that I can fit again in my pantry. I think we've become fatigued by the idea of organization and using these sorts of methods because we've seen such an extreme and become fatigued by it. But it's actually it is not a completely like ridiculous, stupid, excessive method. I actually think there is value to it.
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So it's kind of a shame that now it's like it feels like you're doing something wrong almost. But I don't think that that's necessarily true or fair. Next, we have the DJ. The reputation of the DJ is struggling, I would say. I don't know a lot about DJing. However, I love, as we all do, for the most part, listening to music.
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The culture around the Stanley Cup is a catastrophe. For one, it's become sort of a trend to collect every single color. Now, the beauty of the Stanley Cup is that it's incredibly durable and will last you a very long time. So you really only need, at max, two or three of them. I have three of them. But we really only need one because it's such a good cup.
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I love going to a party, going to a bar or club or whatever, and the music to be good. The art of playing good music, the art of building up the energy, the art of curation, I'm there. That, I understand. The actual art of being a DJ, what it really means to fucking touch all those knobs, it's none of my business. I don't even want to know. But I know where the doubts are coming from, okay?
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Number one, I think we're at a point where becoming a DJ is so accessible because of technology. It's like easier than ever. Apparently, it used to be a situation where you'd like go out and collect vinyls, right? Like vinyl records. And then you'd spin the vinyl and...
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Band tees. Okay, hear me out. Banties like wearing a Beatles t-shirt, wearing an ACDC t-shirt, wearing a Guns N' Roses t-shirt. I don't know who's wearing a Guns N' Roses t-shirt who actually likes Guns N' Roses. I don't know if that person exists, but you get the idea, okay?
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you'd like bring a bunch of vinyls to the club or whatever or to the party and you were known for your vinyl collection and you were also known for your ability to like spin the vinyl well and like blend it from one song to the next really well. I don't understand how this works, okay?
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It's again, none of my business, but like there was more of an art to it, I think of curation and actually executing on the sounds. Whereas it sounds like now, you know, a lot more things can be automated, right? That's not to say that there aren't DJs out there who are like fucking twisting and beat matching and like doing all this shit, doing a really good job and whatever.
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But like I watched this YouTube video about the quality of DJs going down. a lot of people who are actually finding success in it apparently aren't technically good. Okay, this was a video from a DJ talking about other DJs and about why, you know, the quality of the DJ is going down. You know, this was an opinion piece from this person, but it kind of resonated.
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And then I started paying attention. Anytime I'd hear DJing happening in any capacity on the internet, in real life, wherever, I started paying attention. And I'm starting to like realize like, oh, Yeah. And maybe that wasn't super well done, like a super clean transition or something. I don't know. Again, I don't know about DJing, but I can see what people mean. Like, I don't know.
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I guess maybe the art of it is struggling. But listen, if you want to be a DJ, I don't know. I just think, oh, my God, it's so funny. Wait, I have another funny story. I was at an event recently and I was talking about someone in my life who makes music and I was talking to like an older man. OK, this person makes music, blah, blah, blah. And I was like telling a story.
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And I mentioned that this person in my life makes music in this story. Okay? I know this seems like a ridiculous story, but just stick with me. And then this man that I'm talking to is like, is he a DJ? Don't tell me he's a fucking DJ. I was like, no, he's not a DJ. But like, that's the general sentiment around DJs. It's not good.
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But I think it's kind of a shame because I actually do think that there's an art to being a DJ. You know, like... playing good music, beat matching the music, you know, curating really well. But I think now, you know, majority of DJs are playing top hits. They're not curating in a way that's unique to them.
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You know, God knows how much they're doing themselves and how much they're automating or doing beforehand or like who even knows what's happening. But it doesn't feel as hands-on. It doesn't feel as intimate. It doesn't feel as authentic to the DJ as it maybe once did. And I think it's a shame because I think that there's an art to it. That's all I'm saying. All right, moving on to acai bowls.
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Genuinely delicious, but it was a huge food trend like 10 years ago. And now I feel like nobody just wants to sit down and have an acai bowl anymore. Can I be honest? If I was caught sitting down eating an acai bowl, for some reason, I'd be kind of embarrassed. There's something about it that's embarrassing. I think because it's such a pretty, beautiful food. It's almost like avocado toast.
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I bet a lot of you are listening to me and thinking, Emma thinks the band tee has been ruined because it's become a trend to just wear a band tee and not necessarily care about the band that you're wearing the t-shirt for. That's part of it. Don't get me wrong. That is part of it. And we'll get to that later.
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Avocado toast, acai bowls, these trendy foods that are genuinely delicious. are embarrassing to order or embarrassing to eat almost because it's like, really? You fucking Tumblr girl? You're ordering an avocado toast? It's a stereotype. It's become something that's like, try hard or something. But they're genuinely good foods. I love an acai bowl and I love avocado toast.
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So we've sort of ruined it, but also I think still delicious. I think they hold up. And last but not least, ironically, I think to an extent we've ruined podcasting. Or maybe we haven't. Maybe we haven't. I don't know. I'm sad and scared to even... I don't even want to talk about it because I have a podcast. But I'm also probably a part of the problem.
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or not the problem, but the reason why there seems to be this sort of general feeling around podcasting that everyone has a fucking podcast these days. Most podcasters are talking about jack shit. I don't know. I feel like there's sort of this feeling of like, oh my God, if I hear about another fucking podcast, I'm going to put glue in my ears and let it dry and not hear anymore.
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I don't want to hear about another podcast. I don't want to hear another podcast. Um, a lot of people seem fatigued by podcasts and by the industry. And they're just like, I'm sick of this. There's too many. And like, I just don't like, and I don't even like a lot of them. And people just are saying shit and they don't even know what they're talking about.
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Like I make a podcast twice a week doing it right now about podcasts. Jack shit. What am I even talking about? You know what I mean? Like, I'm coming to you with opinions, thoughts. That's about it. You know, and like, some people really enjoy that. But I think a lot of people are like, why does that exist? Like people probably think this about me and about my show.
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Like, why does she even have a podcast? What the fuck is she talking about? And I think like, because there's been this sort of podcast boom, if you will, over the last few years, it's sort of giving everyone this like podcast existential crisis all at once where everyone's like, like, what the fuck is going on? Oh my God. I just remembered I ran out of the yogurt that I like to eat.
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And I was really excited to eat a yogurt bowl after. I recorded this because I'm very hungry and I'm like, I'm out of my yogurt and I'm bummed out. It's all good though. Like I can totally go get more yogurt, but I'm just remembering. And like this specific yogurt, I have to go to a specific grocery store to get because they just, they don't have it where I usually shop. And so I'm just sorry.
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I just had an intrusive thought about the fact that I don't have my yogurt. All good. Anywho, you get the idea. Okay. I think people are sort of fatigued by podcasts. However, I think podcasts, I think it's incredible. I like listening to podcasts. I haven't as much recently.
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I think the worst thing that's happened to band tees is their presence in fast fashion sorts of stores, okay? Band tees available at Forever 21 or at H&M or on fast fashion websites or at Brandy Melville. I think that taking band tees and pumping them out to the masses, I think it ruined the culture around the band tee.
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Like I don't really have one that I'm really into right now, but I've gone through many podcast phases with many different podcasts. I like making them. I think podcasting is great, but I also understand the sort of fatigue and like just kind of cringed out culture about it.
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Like everyone's kind of sick of the podcast, but also that doesn't mean that the podcast is not still like a booming industry. It's doing very well, but I think a lot of people are starting to get sick of it. I'm noticing that. Um, and I totally get it. However, I'm still here making mine on that note. That's it. That's all I have to talk about today.
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I really have to pee and I really, really want yogurt. So I'm going to wrap this up. Okay. Those are some things that I think as a society we've ruined, but I don't think they're ruined permanently. I think that these things, all of them, all of the things that I mentioned are actually genuinely solid things, you know, like solid concepts, solid items. They're solid.
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And I think that they will stand the test of time, despite the fact that They're maybe going through a rough patch with their reputation right now. Okay? These are all good things. And I'm here to remind you that they are. And to not let the fact that we ruined them to ruin it for you. You can... choose to love these things again. Okay, anyway, I'm done talking.
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If you enjoyed this episode, tune in Thursdays and Sundays to Anything Goes, anywhere that you stream podcasts. Video is on YouTube and Spotify though. At Anything Goes on social media, at Emma Chamberlain on social media, chamberlaincoffee.com is my company, my coffee company, at Chamberlain Coffee on social media. Today I was drinking a cute little iced latte, which I think is why I have to pee.
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Sounds disgusting going down my gullet, but I had to just let you hear that. Yeah. Okay, that's it. I'll talk to you all very, very soon. I love you all and appreciate you all. And it's always a pleasure to just sit around and yap to y'all. So anywho, have a great rest of your day or evening. I love you all and appreciate you all and goodbye.
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And I think it's because number one, the way that they've created band tees in mass is is all wrong. Number one, they took like top rock bands in like, I don't know what the 70s and 80s, like Guns N' Roses and Led Zeppelin and ACDC and the Beatles. And I guess Beatles or like whatever earlier.
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But anyway, and they take these like same like 10 bands and they slap the logo on a T-shirt and then like somehow rip it up a little bit or put it on like a faded T-shirt. And then also people were just buying them because they were like, this is a cool design on a t-shirt, which I can't blame people for.
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I'm not, see, I'm not about to police people for wearing a band tee for a band that they don't care about. Listen, if you like the design on a shirt, be my guest. Okay. I'm not going to judge. I'm not judging the consumer. Rather, I'm angry at the company. You know what I mean? For taking something that was cool. Like, okay, so what are these retailers imitating, right?
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They're imitating the concept of someone in the 70s going to a concert and buying a band tee and then it getting worn in and ripped up over the years because it was somebody's favorite t-shirt.
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Now they're replicating that at Forever 21 or now they're slapping it onto a T-shirt of Brandy Melville and a bunch of like 15 year old girls are wearing it who are like, I don't know who this band is, but I just think that the design is cool. And it's very saturated. And a lot of people wear mainstream sort of band tees because it's sort of just something mass that people just buy.
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It's completely lost all of its power. Right. I think what was cool about a band tee before was like, I bought this at my favorite artist's concert or, you know, I ordered it from their website and I like was maybe supporting them directly. And the bands who are on t-shirts in Forever 21 or Brandy Melville or whatever are having no problems financially.
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So like, I'm not saying that, you know, it's like, come on, man. Like you need to support the Beatles directly. It's like the Beatles are okay. They're definitely fine. But I'm more talking about like the experience of buying a band. He used to be kind of sacred in a way. It was like, you know, it's special. It's, it's for a band that you really do love and care about it.
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Like the shirt actually sort of means something to you. And when you wear it out, people are like, oh, fuck, you like them. That's cool. And there was sort of this authenticity to it.
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we ruin everything [video]
And again, I'm not trying to be a pretentious asshole and I'm not blaming the consumer at all, because when I was a teenager, I was buying band tees from Brandy Melville that were like it was it was ACDC or some shit. Who knows what I even had? I'm not blaming myself for that. I'm not even blaming like the companies for selling the band tees. Like I actually don't think anyone's at fault.
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I don't think anyone's in the wrong. I just think it's like this sort of series of unfortunate events where now it's just like the beauty of the band tee I think is kind of gone now. You know, like the idea of it being special and personal and it being a conversation starter, that is ruined. And I think it's a shame. I guess maybe still some of the magic exists. Like, I don't know. I don't know.
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But it's become a trend to collect every single color. Fine. That's a hobby for some people. Who am I to judge? And that's great for the company. You know, they're probably very happy about this. However, a lot of people are posting videos about their Stanley Cup hauls and the new Stanley Cup colors that they got.
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Listen, I could be off base here, but I feel like the culture around the Bantis is not great anymore. It's a bummer. Moving on. Moving on to monogramming stuff. getting your initials embroidered into things. Okay. I think it was something that was really trendy a few years ago, sort of in the early 2010s, early to mid 2010s.
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And now it's sort of considered out of style, choogy, cringe, whatever, because it's just out of style. But I think it's an underrated concept. I don't know. I think a lot of people look at it like it's sort of How do I explain it? Like, it's not cool. And it's not even looked at as something that's like, oh, it's personalization.
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I feel like it's looked at something where it's like, oh my God, like you're so not laid back and chill. Like you're embroidering your initials into stuff so that what, you don't lose it, nerd? Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, it feels like that. I just feel like the concept of monogramming something, like getting your initials on something, it's actually kind of cool.
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Like, I don't think it's cringe. I don't know. And I think like taking the extra effort and like getting your makeup bag embroidered or... You know, getting a blanket and getting that embroidered or like it feels like everyone hates it and everyone thinks it's sort of cringe. And I just I don't know exactly how it happened.
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It almost feels like something that like a super mom would do for all of their kids lunchboxes. It feels weird. Not cool. Right. I don't know. But I just I think it is. And I don't think it's try hard. And I don't think it's in choogy land. I think it can actually be cool. Not everybody thinks it's choogy, by the way, like there. But I I don't know.
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I think the culture around it got ruined, perhaps because maybe it is sort of the mom thing.
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that embroiders you know all the initials of her kids into the lunch boxes and then the kids go to school and all the kids are like okay mama's boy like you have your little embroidered little lunch box you know maybe it started then for us um when somebody's parent like loved them enough to embroider their lunch box it's like fuck you that's cringe you know and then maybe that
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carried on into adulthood for us, or perhaps it was the Vera Bradley, you know, floral bags of 2012 embroidered with cursive letters that have just scarred us for life. It could be one of those two things. It could be something else. But I do think that the culture around monogramming has been completely ruined. I also think it's often not done very well.
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And people are waiting outside of a Target because there's a new Stanley Cup drop at Target starting at 6 a.m. it's starting to be something that people judge, right? People are judging people who participate in the hype of Stanley Cup. It's starting to make the news.
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Like it's often done in sort of an outdated way. And, you know, I actually just recently was online shopping, which is not good. And this company was like hand painting toiletry bags and stuff, hand painting onto canvas initials. And I was like, that is sick. And I did buy it. And I was like, this is cool. Like monogramming is cool. Like we need to not sleep on the potential for monogramming.
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I think it's not all bad. Moving on to the show, The Office, okay? I absolutely love The Office. You probably do too. The problem with The Office is that it's such a good show that absolutely everyone loves it. And for one out of 10 people, I would assume their favorite show, honestly, one out of five people.
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If you were to take a random selection of five people and say, what's your favorite TV show of all time? At least one out of five would probably say The Office. And I think that that person genuinely means it. I think The Office is one of the best TV shows ever to be made. And so it makes sense that it's a lot of people's favorite show.
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But the problem is, because it's everybody's favorite show, now when somebody says their favorite show is The Office, it's like, okay, who cares? you know, wearing merch for The Office, wearing a t-shirt for The Office. Who cares? Everyone loves The Office. Do you know what I'm saying? It's one of those things where it's like everyone loves it to a point where it means nothing to love it.
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The thing about that that upsets me is I actually really do think that that undermines the true beauty of that show. You know, like I don't know. It's unfortunate because I think now everybody's fatigued of hearing the answer that The Office is someone's favorite TV show. You win everyone else. You know, I actually feel the same way about the Beatles.
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I think in the exact same way that The Office is everybody's favorite TV show, the Beatles is everybody's favorite band. But the Beatles are really, really good. And like what both of them have in common, the Beatles and The Office, is that they're both magic in the way that they appeal to pretty much every human being on the planet.
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And that has ruined it in a way because everybody's just sick of hearing about it. If you talk about why you think The Office is good, if you talk about why you think The Beatles is good, it's like you're a sheep. You're considered a sheep. And I think that's a shame because I think both of these things are genuinely good. And they do... mean something to people.
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Like, even though everyone likes them, they still mean something to people. Both The Office and The Beatles mean something to me personally that feels intimate. I feel an intimate connection to these two works of art, you know? I don't know. It's just a shame. I think the culture around them has struggled a bit. Next, we have holidays in general, but especially Christmas, okay?
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Well, I think the holidays have just gone a bit too corporate, and I think that has sort of ruined it for all of us. A lot of holidays nowadays seem to be all about consumerism. It's like, it's Christmas, gotta buy gifts for everybody. It's Easter, gotta buy a bunch of Easter candy for the kids and buy Easter eggs and fill them with stuff. It's Thanksgiving, gotta buy all this special food
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And now the culture around the Stanley Cup has sort of been ruined because every time you walk around with your Stanley Cup, there's a chance that people are perceiving you like you're a Stanley Cup collecting freak. I'm not saying that's right or wrong. I'm just saying that that's the truth. I also think the Stanley Cup has an interesting symbolism.
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Got to buy these decorations. Got to buy this stuff. It's Halloween. Got to buy a costume. Got to buy. It's all about like holidays are all about spending money and feeling stressed out. You got to be on top of it. You got to be ready. You got to be prepared. Valentine's Day. If you're in a relationship.
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Oh, got to drop a bunch of money on my significant other or else they're going to think I don't love them. It's all about spending money. And I think that is the worst part about the holidays, the corporate element. I mean, listen, I do kind of love holiday shopping. Like I love walking down, you know, the aisles during Easter. I love walking down the aisles during Halloween.
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I love walking down the aisles during Christmas. I'm there. I don't even celebrate Easter because I'm not a child anymore, and I'm not religious particularly, so I don't celebrate Easter. But, like, Easter's coming around, and I want to see all the stuff with the little bunnies on it. Yes, I do. I do actually like... some of that.
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But I do think that we all almost have like a level of PTSD every time a holiday comes around because we're like, oh God, it's time to spend money. I think holidays have lost their wholesomeness. The holidays are about reading Christmas stories in bed the night before Christmas, even if you're 23 years old. Okay. The holidays are about cooking with fucking grandma. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
About 20 minutes ago, I sat down to record this episode. I lit a candle, I got comfortable in my chair, I pressed record, and I started yapping. And everything was going smoothly. Until the unexpected happened. Out of nowhere. I got hiccups. This has never happened before, okay? I've recorded hundreds of podcast episodes.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
The internet has such a fucking chokehold on fashion trends. Like the internet has its own trend cycle sort of situation that a lot of times the brands can't even keep up with. Okay. The brands can't even produce fast enough. The fashion kids online are so fucking fast. They're not even waiting for shit to be produced anymore. They're making it happen themselves.
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They're, you know, making certain references go viral and then they're making it go mainstream before the urban outfitters of the world even catch on. So like at times, certain individuals may rely on designer brands to be fashionable.
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They may rely on the prestige of designer brands to portray an interest in fashion that is merely just that sort of an interest in fashion, not really a sense of personal style. That definitely exists and falls into the category of maybe a fashionable person, somebody who is into fashion. But that's not it.
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I used to think that, you know, relying on designer brands, relying on companies who are on trend, that was the definition of being somebody who's simply just fashionable. But I realize now that that's not necessarily it. Like right now, thrifting, secondhand shopping, vintage clothing is trending. So it's sort of like now everything's fair game because of the internet, I think.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
I'm talking about 90 to 95% of the clothing in my closet donated. You probably know this if you're a listener to Anything Goes because I have unfortunately made it my entire personality. It is a reoccurring topic for me. I cannot stop discussing the realizations and epiphanies that I've had from getting rid of majority of the clothing in my closet.
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It's gone from being like, well, you're just mimicking the mannequins and the models for certain clothing stores that are trendy. Now it's you're mimicking the trends of the internet, which are, it's the wild, wild west on the internet. Now, what I think what complicates it is the trend over the last few years.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Online, if you look and see what fashionable people are wearing, what is currently trending is mimicking people with personal, distinct style. Stick with me here. People in the past who have maybe taken risks, innovated, who are maximalist, who have shown really distinct personal style, those people have now become icons. Their personal style has now become a trend, okay?
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
A great example is Jane Birkin. Jane Birkin had a very strong sense of personal style. And one of her staples was her Birkin bag. It's a bag named after her. She wears this bag every day and she dangles a bunch of stuff off of it. You know, many of you know this if you're into fashion, but if you don't, then here I am explaining it again.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
She would like hang necklaces off of it, charms off of it, her watch off of it, all these different things, right? And it was such a distinct Jane Birkin thing. Like nobody else was really doing that. Like it was very unique to her. She had personal style and that was one of the key elements. And now that is a trend.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Another example would be like, you know, a lot of artists in the past have had sort of a certain like aesthetic. We've seen so many cool people on Pinterest, you know, wearing sort of an odd, unusual outfit, but it's so intriguing and it's so cool. But now that is the trend. I don't know how to explain this, but it's like now the trend is to mimic people who have distinct personal style.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
I personally was fooled into thinking that being the micro trend final boss meant being stylish because participating in all these different micro trends and especially doing them all at once sort of mimics the appearance of somebody who has a really distinct personal style. But now it's trendy and the outfits are being done over and over again. It's not stylish.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
I think it was stylish for the people who maybe did it originally, but I think now it's a trend. And so now more than ever, I think it's challenging to be stylish and being stylish, meaning having a sense of personal style that is unique to you, that sort of in some cosmic way is just you being
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
That's harder than ever because the trend is to fabricate having personal style by copying people who do. Now, there's nothing, the way I'm discussing this is making it sound sinister. It is not. We can wear whatever the fuck we want. We can copy people when it comes to style. I mean, as long as we don't take credit, right? We should give credit where it's due.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
But like, we can wear whatever we want. There's no moral hierarchy. It's down to personal preference. Do I personally think that one is more favorable? Yes. But before I continue, I want to be clear that I do not attach moral value to this stuff. I love looking at people who are fashionable. I also love looking at people who are stylish. I love watching trend cycles. I think it's very creative.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
It's actually kind of sad how profound this experience has been for me. Most people's profound events are a bit more deep, you know? Getting rid of majority of the clothing in my closet, like that's not that deep. I didn't have a near-death experience. Like shit didn't get that real. Like it shouldn't be as profound for me as it is.
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Even when you're following trends, there's so many ways to follow trends in a way that's creative. I'm absolutely amused and visually delighted by looking at somebody who is very fashionable and participates in all the trends and is keeping up. I enjoy that. And most of the time, people put a little bit of their own spin on it. And I think that's interesting and fun. And that is a hobby.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
But there is a difference. I figured out sort of a test to determine whether an outfit is fashionable or stylish. The mannequin test, okay? Imagine you were to take a mannequin and put one of your favorite outfits on it. Now, bring in 50 people that you know. Some people are like your best friends and loved ones.
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Some people are your teachers, your bosses, your coworkers, like you barely know them. And then you take two other mannequins, and these two other mannequins are trending outfits right now. And now you ask everybody, which one is your outfit? If people can figure out immediately which one is you, you're stylish because you stand out. You're not copying. You're not trending, whatever.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
And if majority of people would struggle to figure out, you know, which one is your outfit, then good chance that you're fashionable. And that's cool too. Now, I've never tried that test and I won't ever. But, you know, I think if you imagine in your head this test occurring, you can kind of guess what the results would be for yourself.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
I ended up realizing how rare it is that people are truly stylish. I think most people in the fashion world are fashionable. And that's great. But I think many people want to be stylish. I want to be stylish. That's a goal for me. So now what do I think it means to be stylish?
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
I realize now it's not about styling outfits in the most maximalist way possible to make the outfit feel unique, utilizing every single micro trend in one outfit, you know, layering in a trillion different ways to create something that literally no one has ever seen. It's not that. Instead, it's sort of undefinable.
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Instead, it's about having a truly distinct sense of style that feels unique to the person wearing it. That could mean accessorizing and styling to the max, but it could also mean wearing something shockingly simple that is just a unique pairing of specific items. It's maybe a bit unexpected. It's not something that you could find on Pinterest. It's them.
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They thought outside the box and they've not even necessarily created something new, but they've done something that feels so authentic to them that it just makes sense. It feels like they were born wearing it. You know, I think truly stylish people are balancing technically good styling, right? Styling meaning how you put a bunch of pieces together.
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Truly stylish people are good at creating an outfit that feels balanced. And technically good styling means putting together an outfit that clicks. And I think people who have really strong personal style also have that. But they're balancing that with things that they personally love, couldn't live without, things that are staples in their personal style. And... Potentially trends.
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I don't think people with personal style don't participate in trends at all, but I think they do it sparingly and only when it matches their personal style in a genuinely authentic way. And it is something that they'll wear regardless of the trend cycle. And if you were to put someone with personal styles outfit on a mannequin and do the mannequin test, it would be easy to figure out.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
However, the experience of getting rid of majority of the clothing in my closet for me has been profound. And objectively, that's kind of sad. But I think anytime anything is profound in life, we should welcome it with open arms and say, you know what? Any experience that invites conversation, I think is positive, no matter how surface level it may seem from the outside.
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I like to believe that I'm at a place now where for the first time, I would argue, I have a truly strong sense of personal style. And I exude that on a daily basis. I have a very specific capsule wardrobe. Every single item in my closet is something that I don't want to live without or it's like a basic and I wear it every day. It's something that I truly utilize to the max.
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I feel like I have my own sort of personal color scheme and various silhouettes that I wear on a reoccurring basis. Everything sort of goes together. And I think at this point now, people in my personal life would know it was my outfit if it was on a mannequin next to two Pinterest outfits. I really believe that.
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And I think that is because I had no choice but to figure out what my personal style was when I got rid of all my clothes. Because I had to narrow down like what's staying and what's going. And what ended up staying was stuff that's truly the most me, right? It all just makes sense. It all goes with each other. Like everything matches.
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It's all kind of falling into one aesthetic that is not really one thing that you can put your finger on, but it's just me. And I would say there are some trendy stuff in there. I don't know. Like I'm not like reinventing the wheel. Like there's definitely some trendy stuff in there. But if it's trendy, it doesn't matter because I'll wear it for the next fucking 10 years.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
There's distinct qualities, whether it's a color palette or the fact that like you wear the same types of little pins on your clothes every day or you wear the same staple pair of sunglasses every day. Like these little things add to your personal style. Like it's almost something that you can't even explain. You can only see it and feel it. It's kind of cosmic, to be honest.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
So there's my sort of updated understanding of what it means to be fashionable versus what it means to be stylish. It's two completely different lifestyles. It's two completely different sets of priorities. When I was younger, I loved getting dressed up and taking photos for Instagram and, you know, constantly be putting together trendy outfits and stuff like that.
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If you love that, if that's how you express yourself, if that's a hobby for you, if you like making fashion related content, if you want to be a fashion influencer, like whatever it may be, Be fashionable. That is the path for you. That is the philosophy to hold near and dear to your heart. However, that doesn't work for everybody. And let me tell you, it did not work for me. I love clothes.
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I love paying attention to trends. I love all of this stuff. However, in my own personal life, on a day-to-day basis, I would rather be stylish. I'd rather have a really strong sense of personal style that is distinct to me I don't want to keep up with the trend cycles. I can't do it anymore. I don't want to do it. I want to come up with my own thing.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
And that works better for me and potentially for many of you because number one, it takes you off the hamster wheel of keeping up with the trends constantly. You can love fashion and not want to participate in the trend cycles. hold on, stop the presses. Yes, that is possible. Yes, we exist. Okay. That's number one.
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Number two, there's something really appealing about having a distinct, consistent fashion personality that is evolving in a much more controlled, tactful sort of way. You may not always look on trend. You may not be the one that people go to to figure out what's going to be hot this summer, but you're going to have your own thing going. And that's fucking cool.
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And I think it's also a better lifestyle and philosophy for those who do not like to have a lot of stuff. I'm now realizing, oh my God, I have too much stuff. I don't want stuff anymore. I want less stuff. That is a very, again, that's a privileged position to be coming from to say like, I want less stuff. It's bratty. It's annoying. Listen, I get it.
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I've had many epiphanies from this experience, and I've talked about a lot of them on this podcast. So some of these epiphanies may be familiar to you, but I'm going to list the epiphanies I've had thus far. Number one, the true value of quality over quantity in clothing. Something that I was aware of prior to this experience, but I wasn't really living out in my life.
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However, I think it's pretty common because it sort of became trendy to buy more fast fashion, more lower priced, trendy places. That became a trend. It became about having more, having options. And, you know, I'm not really about that life anymore. I just, I don't like that way of spending my money anymore. Uh, I don't like having too many options.
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I prefer having a high quality item that I can wear for the next five years.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
The collection that I have going now is going to last me a really long time and it might ebb and flow and I might get sick of some stuff eventually, but like a lot of the stuff that I've been wearing recently is stuff that I've had already for a long time and I've already worn quite a bit and I'm just going to continue to wear it, you know?
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
From there, you know, the question is like, how do you become fashionable or how do you become stylish depending on what you want to do? It's far easier, I think, to be fashionable. I think I've been a pretty fashionable person over the years. My recommendation for that would be use the internet, like study the runway, see what types of stuff is sort of starting to pop up. Like,
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oh shit, a lot of brands are using the color maroon. Like maybe maroon will be the color of the season or like, oh, it's kind of weird. A lot of brands are doing shoes that look like flip-flops. Oh, maybe flip-flops are going to be coming in. Like, you know, you can start to sort of predict. Being fashionable requires a lot of times money. Whereas like style, anyone can have style. Anyone.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Being stylish, you can do it on a budget, but it takes a lot more brain power and a lot more soul searching. But I have some tips for you. Some of you might be like, Emma, I don't believe that you're stylish. I think you're fashionable and I think you're fucking cheap. That's fine. But I truly do believe that I've stumbled upon my own personal style. I don't know.
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fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Maybe I'm going to get shit for that. I might get shit for that because people are going to be like, I've seen that on Pinterest. I mean, maybe, but it's like, this is what I've determined is my personal style. And I feel confident. It feels, it's clicking. Do you know what I'm saying? It's clicking for me and it feels right.
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And for the first time in my life, I feel like I actually do think I have a personal sense of style. So I feel qualified to give you advice on how to find your personal style. And hopefully you're okay with that. So let me give a few tips and tricks on how to be stylish. Number one, be intuitive. Ask yourself, what clothing are you truly drawn to most often?
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What clothing truly makes you feel the best? Not what clothing makes me feel like I fit in the most. What clothing makes you feel the most like you? That's a feeling that is very hard to explain and you know it when you feel it, okay? There are certain pieces in my closet that make me feel like me. I've talked about these pants before.
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I have these green pair, it's like this vintage green pair of like work pants. They just fit me perfectly. The way that they look, the way that they feel, everything about them, they just feel like me. I actually have another pair of pants like that. They're like a dark gray with like a little black button and little slit pockets on the back. And they're kind of wide leg or whatever.
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I don't know what it is about those pants, but I bought them and I immediately was like, these are my pants. I have this pair of little flats. They're not like ballet flats. I mean, they're kind of like ballet flats because they have the silhouette of a ballet flat, but they don't have the little bow.
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I never thought I'd be a girl who like loves flats, but I started wearing these and I was like, where have these been my whole life? I love the way that they feel. I love wearing them. I love the way that they look. They match every single thing in my closet. They have such a great vibe to them.
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So they have like a bit of a feminine element, but they're not like super feminine, which is very much my vibe. They're just like the perfect shoe for me. You know, I have this like gray like sweater that has like three buttons and it's just the fucking perfect sweater for me. It's the perfect shade of gray. It's the perfect material. It fits perfect. I love it. I want to wear it every day.
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All of these different things, right, are things that I am like naturally drawn to. Like I just love putting these things on. I love the way that they make me feel. They make me feel confident, but also very me. I just feel like myself when I wear these things and I can't quite explain why. it's intuitive. So I think my first piece of advice is be intuitive. Wear what you like wearing the most.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
We very often will wear stuff that's like trendy, especially when we're into fashion. We'll wear stuff that's trendy that we don't even really like the way we feel. We don't even like how we feel when we wear these things, but we wear them because they're trendy. That's not being intuitive. Wear what feels good. Next piece of advice, find your staples.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
I definitely had quantity over quality before, whereas now I definitely have quality over quantity. And I think only upon enacting it in my life do I truly realize what it means in building a wardrobe to have quality over quantity. Next epiphany, owning more clothing will not make you more stylish or fashionable. If anything, it will hold you back. It will probably make you overwhelmed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
I already sort of said this, but like find your sort of iconic pieces and allow those things to be the backbone of your closet. Figure out like what you love wearing the most right now and then get rid of everything else. Focus on those staple pieces and slowly but surely build around that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Build a wardrobe based on stuff that have proven time and time again are staples for you because they intuitively feel good, but they're also pieces that match other things in your wardrobe. Like they all kind of go together. They're sort of perfect. You know, like I have pieces in my closet that are perfect. They feel perfect. They look perfect. They're perfect.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
I think we should absolutely be striving for that. Moving on, focus on quality over quantity. Get rid of the stuff in your closet that you never wear. And moving forward, only buy something you truly are going to cherish that's going to become one of your staples as well. Buy stuff that goes with your staples, that feels cohesive with your staples. Buy things that fit you comfortably.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Buy things that you're excited to wear. You're like, I could wear this every day. Buy things that you would sleep in. Buy things that are truly high quality. And that doesn't necessarily mean expensive. It just means it fits you right. You love the material. Is it itchy? Is it tight anywhere? Like that's what I mean by quality.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
And I've already sort of mentioned this a little bit, but I feel like personal style a lot of times means having sort of one cohesive vibe. And I might change my mind on that down the line. Like I don't want to marry that idea, but I think for the most part, if you have a sense of personal style, most of the things that you like are going to go together just naturally.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
And at least that's my experience. Like my closet today, almost everything matches, you know what I mean? Or not matches, but like it all has a similar vibe. So everything can be mixed and matched very easily to create many different things because everything has this sort of feeling of Emma, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
They might not even traditionally go together, but in my head, they go together for some weird, sick, twisted reason. Everything matches. Everything feels cohesive. I don't know. I really, truly believe you will start to see your personal style coming together when you start to feel cohesion in your closet. Suddenly, everything just kind of works together.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Oh, I just realized I should have said this earlier, but I'll say it now. Shop in real life when you can. I mentioned a few minutes ago, quality over quantity. When you try on a piece, you can feel if it has the magic or not. I mean, it's like dating. You know, it's like, it's really hard to find a high quality partner. And when you find it, it clicks and you're like, holy fuck, that's awesome.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
But you know, it's a lot of trial and error and it's really hard to do trial and error when you're ordering online. being able to feel how things feel on your body. I mean, I'm so particular, like very particular, probably too particular, to be honest, about how clothes feel on my body. Like it is not something I take lightly.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
And I can't tell you how many times I've ordered stuff online and it's come and I've been like, ew, this doesn't fit right or ew, the material feels horrible on my skin or whatever it is. Then I either have to go through the hassle of a return or I just end up keeping it because I'm like, well, I'll wear it eventually. And then I'm left with more junk.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Next tip would be to sort of block out the noise. Listen, sometimes you need to take a break from current trends. Like we're constantly being bombarded with what is trending on Instagram, Pinterest, trendy clothing stores, etc. Sometimes you just need to take a month, get off Instagram, maybe even take a little break from Pinterest.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Which is crazy that I'm saying that because I literally am like the Pinterest girl. Go on a different side of Pinterest, you know? Start looking up like fucking holiday recipes instead. Like use Pinterest for something else. Use Instagram for something else. Don't go into the trendy clothing stores. Like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Sometimes you just need to sort of turn a blind eye to the trends for a little while so that you can let your own internal instincts speak. It's very hard to hear your own internal instincts when you're being constantly bombarded by trends. It's very hard to come up with your own original thought. And last but not least, think outside the box. Honor your weird ideas.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Like, I'm trying to think of... a weird idea I had. I was shopping like probably, I don't even know, like eight months ago, maybe. It was a while ago before I had all these epiphanies. But I was shopping like eight months ago and there was this over shirt tunic like thing. And I was shopping with my besties and I was like, what do you guys think? And they were like, to be honest, I don't get it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
I've never spontaneously developed hiccups in the middle of an episode ever in my entire life. And I kind of froze. I didn't really know what to do. I was like, well, are they going to go away, like, right now? Like, I'm in the middle of something. Like, are they going to go away right now? So I just kind of kept it rolling. I was like... They'll probably go away in like a minute or two.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
So I was like, okay, let me try it on. I have a vision. Let's just see if I'm onto something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
I tried it on it's like this black I can't even explain it it's like a black tunic I don't even know with like a weird frill on the bottom it makes no sense like I don't know why I was drawn to it but I was because to me it felt like me by the way one of my best friends is quite literally my stylist we work together for photo shoots or for you know events or whatever him and I collaborate and he has a lot of fucking phenomenal ideas and I love talking fashion with him
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
And I showed this little weird tunic to him and he was like, I don't get it. And I was like, honestly, I get, I understand, but just trust me. And he was like, as always, I trust you because, you know, he doesn't judge. My friends don't judge, but they didn't get it. That was eight months ago.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
I would say for majority of people, decision fatigue happens. If you have too much stuff, you get exhausted. You don't want to make a choice. If your closet is filled with different options, that doesn't mean that you're going to be more creative and come up with more innovative outfit ideas.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
I bought that weird tunic thing because it just called to me against all odds, but it stood the test of time. I got rid of 95% of the things in my closet. I still have that weird little tunic thing. And I wear it and I love it. And I don't know, like it was sort of something that was maybe like taking a chance for me, but I thought outside the box and I honored my weird ideas.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
And, you know, that helped me further figure out my own style. Anyway, that's all I have for today. That's it. The difference between fashionable and stylish and how to be stylish. And that's it. I hope this was in the least interesting and at the most helpful. That would be great. Oh my God, this is literally the longest episode I've ever recorded. Why is it so long?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
I mean, it gets edited down because I reiterate things a lot and stuff. I've been talking for an hour and 30 minutes. When you listen to the final cut, it could be honestly as short as like probably 40 minutes, maybe even... But like that is a long episode. I love talking about fashion. Anyway, that's all I have for today. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. It's always a pleasure.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
New episodes every Thursday and Sunday. However, I will be taking a few weeks off during this holiday season to recharge the brain and get prepared for next year so that this show can get only better for you. And for me. Find Anything Goes on social media at Anything Goes. Find me on social media at Emma Chamberlain. I love you all. I appreciate you all. And I'll talk to you later. Okay, bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
It probably means you're going to get overwhelmed and end up wearing the same thing every single day because you don't want to attack the beast that is your clothing collection. Is that for everybody? Is that true for everybody? No, but I would say for majority of people, it is the case. And it definitely was the case for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Next epiphany, the concept of a capsule wardrobe, I would say is underrated. It's not like it's something that nobody is utilizing, but I don't know. It's not like trendy to discuss a capsule wardrobe. I feel like what's trendy more than anything is to be like, look at all this stuff I just bought. Look at this haul, which by the way, I'm guilty of. I've done a lot of hauls in my life and career.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
So I'm not saying that there's anything morally wrong with doing a haul or that people who do hauls are evil because I'm not evil and you're not evil. It's not that. But what I'm saying is,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
It's not trendy to talk about the concept of having a capsule wardrobe, which is having a smaller amount of things that all go together that can create a number of different unique outfits from a smaller collection of clothing that's more tactically created. Is tactically a word? Oh my God. It is. I love that. I love when I say a word and I don't know if it is a word and then it is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
And now, for my most recent epiphany, drumroll please, it's been brought to my attention the real difference between being stylish and being fashionable. Now, I know what you're thinking. Emma, who gives a fuck, you freak? Who gives a fuck? That's like being like, what's the difference between a turtle and a tortoise? What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Oh my God, I almost forgot. What's the difference between a frog and a toad? Like, what's the fucking difference? Who cares? They look the same. They're close enough. No, I know what you're saying, but hear me out, okay? The difference between a crocodile and an alligator, the difference between a frog and a toad, these differences are minor, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
A lot of times it comes down to like their environment. One goes in water, one doesn't. One is like an omnivore, one is a carnivore, whatever. And those minor differences don't really matter to the average person, right? Like to me, to you, I mean, depending on who you are and what your interests are, who cares about that, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
But to somebody who is really interested in biology, the differences between a frog and a toad, the differences between a crocodile and an alligator, I keep forgetting which one's which and what the name of the other one is. The difference between those two things is very significant.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
They did not go away in a minute or two. I had to turn off my recording equipment and sit and stare at the wall for 20 minutes and wait for my hiccups to go away. As you can hear, the hiccups are gone. I'm back. We're trying it again. Everything's going great this time. I'm actually like kind of afraid. that I'm going to get hiccups again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
So my point of that is the difference between being stylish and being fashionable doesn't fucking matter to people who don't care about clothes. If you wear clothes in a utilitarian way, you wear clothes for function, then the difference between fashion and style, it's neither here nor there. Who fucking cares? But for those of us who love this shit, Why do I keep cussing? Let me relax.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Sometimes I'll like get into a mood and I'll just start cussing a lot. And it's very cringe and it to me like reminds me of when I was a teenager and I'd get, I don't know, like I'd feel super badass or something and I'd just cuss a lot or I'd get nervous and I'd cuss a lot because I was like trying to be cool. Like if I was around like a cute boy, I'd start cussing a lot because I was nervous.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
It reminds me of that and it's very cringe. So I'm done cussing apparently. But... There is a very fascinating difference between being stylish and being fashionable. And I think if you're somebody who's into clothing, then analyzing the difference can be not only interesting, but also helpful for your own self-discovery when it comes to your relationship to clothing and style and fashion.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
So let's begin with what I used to think it meant to be fashionable versus stylish, because I always knew that there was a difference, but I had never taken more than a minute or two to think about it. Like it never really meant anything to me. It wasn't a part of like my own philosophy on clothing and expression through clothing. Like it wasn't a super developed thought.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
It was kind of jumbled in my brain. I thought being fashionable, it was mainly about designer brands. Like to be fashionable means to know about all the brands, to, you know, wear stuff with logos, to buy the latest, you know, trending item that's sort of viral, to be super on trend. for the most part, leaning into sort of designer brands, right? Not all the time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
I mean, trends aren't always dictated by large fashion houses. Sometimes they're dictated by urban outfitters, and that's also in some ways at times a designer brand. Not really, but you know what I mean? Like, I thought of being fashionable as being so predictably on trend that it's an art in itself, right? Right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Like, wearing what's on the runway, even if it's, like, doesn't really fit you right or something. It was more about money and status in my head. I thought being fashionable meant wearing what was in fashion from an industry standpoint. Does that make sense? Like... Wearing what the brands want you to wear. It's not taking any risks. It's not inventive.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
It's just taking what the brands are making that's currently trendy in the zeitgeist and wearing it. There's maybe less personal style involved. It's safe. It's arguably sort of vanilla. You can be fashionable and look great, but you look no different than a model on a runway or a mannequin in a trendy store. it's maybe a bit less interesting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Whereas to be stylish means not just to wear what the mannequin's wearing, but to style the clothing, okay? Somebody who's stylish knows how to accessorize, layer, make things their own. To be stylish is to be the micro-trend final boss, okay? Do you know what the micro-trend final boss is? Don't worry, I'll tell you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
It was kind of a, not to be dramatic, but it was kind of a traumatic event because I was so like in the zone. I was so fucking ready to chat with you guys. And then hiccups, it was just, it was unbelievable. It was terrible. But I'm here. The hiccups are over. I fucking hate having hiccups. They hurt a little bit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Micro trends, let's break it down. Micro trends are little trends that pop up on the internet every few weeks. Definitely heavily dictated by the zeitgeist. Like it's so deeply ingrained in the culture that if like you're not online, you might not even notice that it happened.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
It's little things like bows or certain patterns or the little heeled sneakers from Isabel Morant, if you know what I'm talking about. Those little heeled sneakers are like putting charms and stuff on your purse, as it's called on the internet, Jane Birkening your bag. If you don't know what that means, Google it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Uh, but you know, putting all little charms and necklaces in your watch and hanging stuff off your bag, all of those things are, you know, ways to style clothing. You know, it's one thing to just put on clothing, put on a shirt, put on a pair of pants, put on a shoe. You can either do that in like a utilitarian way, if you're just wearing simple basics, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Or you can do that in a fashionable way. You're wearing a trendy top, a trendy silhouette of a top and a trendy silhouette of a pant and a trendy shoe. Or you could be stylish. You could truly style the clothing, okay? You could take a trendy bag, but then you could add a bunch of charms and then you could put on a pair of pants, right? And then you could cuff them in a way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
And then you could wear socks, two different types of socks. And then you could wear a trendy shoe. And then you could wear a tank top with a long sleeve shirt under it. And then with a pair of glasses and then with like 50 barrettes in your hair. You know what I'm saying? Incorporate as many fucking trends as you possibly can. Micro trend final boss. That's what I thought being stylish was.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
I thought it was to be the micro trend final boss, to be a fashion person, right? To constantly be evolving and changing personal style, to be constantly trying and experimenting with every single trend, to ideally at times be ahead of the trends, right? It's to be doing the fucking most, okay? That's what I thought it meant to be stylish. It's not about wearing expensive clothing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
It's about knowing how to create a vibe and knowing how to put together something that no one's ever fucking seen before. That's what I thought it meant to be stylish. And to be honest, I was kind of haunted by what my definition of stylish was. Like this definition of stylish for me haunted me. It was kind of exhausting. I was like, God, it's so much fucking work to be stylish, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Like, I want to be stylish. I don't want to be fashionable. I want to be stylish. This is how, you know, we truly express ourselves and are unique and use fashion to truly show who we are, right? Is to do the fucking most. To take every single thing that you love on Pinterest and put it on you and become that. is to find the things that work for you and then do all of them at once.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
I don't know if that's just me and like I have something undiagnosed, like maybe hiccups shouldn't hurt. But for me, they hurt. It's like uncomfortable. It's miserable. So I'm just happy to be here. Anyway, abrupt topic shift alert. As many of you may know, if you listen to Anything Goes, about two or three months ago, I made the decision to get rid of majority of the clothing in my closet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
But then to also constantly be exploring and actively trying to fix like, okay, what's the next thing though? What's the next thing though? Constantly be on top of it. Be one step ahead. I realize now that my definitions were wrong. Were they completely wrong? No. In fact, they're pretty close. But there are some key differences. They are so minor.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
They're so minor that some of you are going to roll your fucking eyes and be like, Emma, I mean, seriously, you're just fucking grasping at straws at this point for podcast topics. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? At this point, you're taking a metaphorical microscope at every single thing on planet Earth. And my God, is it exhausting for you probably, but then also for everybody else.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Emma, please give it up. No, you're wrong. There is a key difference between what my definitions used to be and what I realized the definitions are, what it truly means to be fashionable, what it truly means to be stylish. Okay. What I realize now is that to be fashionable is far less simple. Okay. I thought it was just like wearing designer brands, sort of being a mannequin, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
Like being a walking mannequin from stores. Okay. So like wearing an exact Louis Vuitton runway outfit. Leaning into the logos, leaning into the brands, right? Wearing exactly what an Urban Outfitters mannequin is wearing. They signal to the world very, very clearly and very loudly, I'm aware of what's trendy. Look at it. It's on my body. I'm into fashion. Look.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashionable vs stylish (yes, there's a difference)
What I realized was, in the age of the internet, it's far more complex than just copying what's on the runway, you know, if you have the means to do that, or copying, you know, the Urban Outfitters mannequin. It goes so much deeper than that, okay? Being fashionable today just means being chronically on trend, whatever that means at any given moment. And nowadays...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I just had to take some deep breaths because my chest is tight and I have a lump in my throat because I'm frightened of today's episode. I'm deeply frightened. Today, I'm going to be sharing with you what I think are the greatest songs of all time. And this terrifies me for a few reasons. To start, music is polarizing. We adore the music that we love and we despise the music that we hate.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It sounds really raw, you know? And that's a bit jarring at first. Daniel Johnston, I learned later as I listened to more of his music, that is his style. But the lyrics are so good. And the raw sound, I actually ended up liking later. And I really do believe it's one of the best songs of all time. And that's why it's been covered so many different times.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
This song feels like going through a breakup and crying in somebody that you love's lap. Somebody that you love so much that you almost don't even really care anymore that you broke up with the person that you broke up with. Like, you almost... It's like, okay, like for me, for example...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
This song feels like breaking up with one of my exes or whatever, and then laying in my parents' lap, both of them at the same time, and crying in this way where I'm sad and I'm heartbroken, but I'm also being healed simultaneously because I'm surrounded by my favorite people on the planet. It's like this interesting juxtaposition, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And listen, this episode is just so cringe because of these types of things that I'm saying and the way that I'm describing these songs. But this is honest, okay? And I'm being honest, and this is truly the best I can do and the best way I can describe them. And are you cringing? Probably, because I am. But this is just the best that we can do, okay? That is how that song feels to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It's so refreshing to hear a song that is so lyrically honest and easy to understand. And it's nice to hear a sound that is raw and human and real. It's a great song. And it feels good to listen to. Okay, next. Clay Pigeons by Michael Cera. Clay Pigeons has been covered by many people. Michael Cera released his cover in 2014. The lyrics are so good. You know, you're transported into this story.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I can't be like, well, so in this song, the baseline is very heavy. And there's this folk undertone with an emphasis on the percussion. Listen, I know these words, but I don't know what the fuck they mean. I can't actually describe how the song sounds.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It's easy to listen to. It's beautiful to listen to. You can listen to it over and over and over again and never get sick of it. This song feels like a foggy day in the fall. You're sitting on a bus. There is a lyric in the song that says, I'm going down to the railway station going to get a ticket to ride. Or maybe Michael Ceras' Greyhound Station. I don't know. There's different lyrics.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
But anyway, there is a lyric in the song about going to the station to get a ticket to ride somewhere. So yes, okay, there is, you know, but it actually does, this song does kind of feel that way to me. It feels like you're sitting in on some sort of public transportation. Okay. Maybe it's the bus. Maybe it's the subway. Maybe it's a Greyhound. Well, that's also a bus.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Maybe it's a train or a train. Oh my God. You know what? Let me say it's a train. It feels like being on a train and it's fall and the leaves are turning. Wow. It feels like this. The, the leaves are turning orange and And it's foggy out. Maybe it's like 5 p.m. So the sun's going down and starting to get a bit dark. But there's still like a sort of glow in the sky. And you're a little bit sleepy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And you're wearing a sweater. You're wearing like a soft turtleneck sweater. It's a cashmere sweater. Fuck it. It's cashmere. Fuck it. It is. It's cashmere. And you have little fingerless gloves on. And you're having a little cup of mint tea. You have some mint tea. And you're looking out the window. That's what this song sounds like. And you have headphones in, noise canceling.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
That's what this song feels like. Okay. Next we have Don't Look Back in Anger by Oasis. I didn't realize that this is a massive song. It literally has like a billion streams. I found this like a year ago. One of my friends played it in the car and I was like, where has this song been? I had heard it before, but I was like... This song is so good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
A lot of people who share sort of similar music tastes to me really like Oasis. I never really got into it. Oasis' biggest song is called Wonderwall. You probably know it. I never liked that song. I don't know. I just... But... This song is so good. To me, it feels like a really romanticized high school drama movie. It feels stereotypical almost in that way. It feels like a 90s high school movie.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
So I have to literally, to the best of my ability, like try to paint a picture for you about how these songs sound without having basically any words mentioned. to like accurately describe the song. It's a mess. This episode is going to be a fucking mess. Okay. I'm going to probably accidentally sound pretentious at one point. I'm probably going to accidentally sound cringe at another point.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
with a popular girl who wears a pink velour tracksuit and then like a hot football jock who like whatever. And to me, this song feels like the popular girl in the high school movie and the jock breaking up because the jock is going to college, but it's summer. So like everything's going to be okay. And she knows deep down that she'll find another summer thing. She doesn't need him.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
He's heartbroken. He actually thought that they might get married, but he knew that it wasn't going to work because he's going to go play football at Yale or something. That's what the song feels like to me. And listen, you might listen to the song and be like, what? But that is how this song feels to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Like, I just imagine this song playing as the football player and the popular girl are like walking away from each other outside of one of their houses at like 9.30 p.m. because the girl, of course, has to be in bed by 10. Her daddy is strict. I can't even say daddy anymore because everybody just thinks it's about. No. So her dad, her father makes her be her curfew is 10 p.m.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
So they had this sort of final conversation about how, you know, this isn't going to work out anymore outside of her house. And then they walk away and then boom, don't look back in anger by Oasis starts playing. It just fucking makes sense to me. Uh, this song is incredible. Okay. Moving on brief candles by the zombies. My dad showed me this song. You'll notice my dad shows me a lot of songs.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
He showed me this very recently, like maybe even six months ago. Oh my God. It is so good. Whoa. Brief candles came out in 1968 and It's using some sort of cool synth or keyboard. I don't know this shit. You know I don't know this shit. I already told you that. It's making some sort of sound that feels like a vampire to me. It feels like a vampire girl's 16th birthday, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It feels like she's wearing a cute little like black dress that has like frills and lace and embroidery. And she has her hair straightened, stick straight. And she's a moody girl, you see. She deep down has a bit of joy in her, but no, she's a moody girl on the outside. Imagine her at 6 p.m.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
sitting at her dining room table with her one weird friend who doesn't talk very much and the rest of her family there. Imagine her sitting in front of her cake, which she requested to be carrot cake because she's a freak. No, I'm kidding. I actually like carrot cake. There's something about this song that to me feels like carrot cake. I can't explain it. This is how my brain works.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
You all are seeing how my brain works and it's super disturbing. Anyway, carrot cake in front of her, black frosting, decorating a beautifully white cream cheese frosted cake. And everybody sings her happy birthday. She blows out the candles and she gets up and she walks out the front door and she kind of smirks a little bit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And then she goes and buys Twinkies from the convenience store down the street. I don't know if I'm convinced that that's how this song feels, but I'm going to stick with it because I worked really hard on it. Okay. I really like, I put my heart into that. And then at the end of it, I was like, that actually doesn't necessarily feel right. Maybe she doesn't. No, no, no. You know what?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I'm going to describe things inaccurately and incorrectly throughout the episode because I have no idea how to describe music. I'm also terrified of committing to the statements that I'm about to make. I'm about to share with you a list of what I think are the greatest songs of all time, but I know myself. Oh, I know myself. I change my mind all the time. And it's an absolute curse.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I'm changing my story. This is how the song feels. She's pouting and she's frowning, but she blows out her candles and then she can't keep up the act anymore. She smiles a little bit and everyone cheers. And then they all eat cake together. Maybe that's how it ends. I don't know. Okay, moving on. Not For All the Love in the World by The Thrills. This song came out in 2004.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
This was one of those songs that the first time I heard it, I was like, this is one of the worst songs I've ever heard. I'm not kidding. I hated it. I genuinely hated it. It was actually on a playlist that a boy made for me. Oh,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Oh my God, a boy made for me kind of cringe, but it's not actually when the time that that happened and I, we both made each other a playlist and it was like in the, it was in the only way that it could not be possibly cringe. It actually was fine. In fact, it was delightful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
This song was on there and I vividly remember the first time I listened to it because it was unlike anything I had ever heard before, especially the voice of the singer. I was like, what? It was so weird. And the way that the song was composed was unlike any other song I'd heard before. It was so unique. And the lyrics were kind of easy, not easy to follow, but your brain chose to follow them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Yeah. You know when sometimes it's hard to follow lyrics because they're being overshadowed by other elements of the song? The lyrics in this song, I was locked in. And they were intriguing. And I just remember being so intrigued by this song. It was so weird to me. But then I couldn't stop thinking about it. And then every few weeks or once a month, I would put it on and see how it made me feel.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And then one day it clicked and I was like, wait, this is one of the best songs I've ever heard in my life. And it's songs like that that I genuinely do think develop my taste in music. I feel like songs that are good the first time you listen to them, it's awesome. It's exciting. But I don't think it's what takes your music taste to the next level.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
You know, I get really excited when a song clicks for me one day and I'm like, holy shit, I get it now. And this is one of those songs. This song to me feels like being in an abandoned ballroom. Okay, imagine you're in a ballroom, like a massive, beautiful, dramatic ballroom with gorgeous trimmings and gorgeous curtains and all of this, and it's completely abandoned.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Okay, nobody's in there but you. And there's a beautiful carpet on the floor. It's soft. And you've taken your shoes off. And you've somehow connected to the music stereo system. And you've turned this song on. Ironically, this song feels like this song. That's how unique it is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And you are just flailing and dancing around this ballroom all by yourself, completely freely and with energy as though you're a child. That is how this song feels to me. There's something like so dramatic, but also like euphoric about it. Yeah, it's a really good song. It takes a bit, but once you get it, you're like, holy shit, I get it. And then you love it. Okay, next.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Bad Habit by Steve Lacey. This song came out in 2022. I mean, this whole album, Gemini Writes, which I'm a Gemini, so of course I'm biased. This song was a massive, massive, massive, massive, massive fucking hit. It has a billion streams. All right. This is a big song. This song is not like by any means underrated. Okay. And so you all have probably heard it. It came out somewhat recently.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It's a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing because it means that I'm growing and I'm evolving and I'm changing. But it's a curse because I'm constantly sharing my thoughts and opinions on the internet. And then when they change, it's awkward. I'm not a hypocrite. I'm not a liar. I'm not a freak. I just change my mind about things all the time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
This is one of the most addictive songs I've ever heard in my life. I remember like the first time I heard it, I was like, oh shit, this is good. Like immediately. And I know I just said that, like I appreciate a song that takes me a bit to enjoy. Yes, I do. Cause I do think that that develops my taste, but holy shit, is it fun to hear a song out of nowhere?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And the first time you hear it, be like, that is incredible and immediately be addicted to it. The second I heard it, I was like, I need to know what that song is right now. This song feels like what it feels like to show up to the first day of a music festival. Coachella, for example, okay? It feels like showing up to day one of Coachella. You're in a hot outfit. You look sick.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
You're with your friends. Not like sick as in ill, of course, but sick as in very cool. You're with your friends. You're so stoked. You're like, oh my God, I'm about to have a party of a weekend. You just feel all this energy built up inside of you because you're about to have an insane weekend and you're about to be drunk.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
The whole time, and you're about to get blisters on your feet, and you're about to see your ex, and then you're about to see them making out with somebody, and then you're going to cry, and then you're going to find somebody to make out with. You're going to dance a lot. You know you're about to just make a memory. It's just going to be... an adventure. That is how this song feels.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It feels like the moment that a really good weekend begins. Does that make sense? I use this word a lot apparently, but euphoric. It's like a euphoric song. It really creates a feeling. Okay, next we have Not Allowed by TV Girl. This song was created in 2016. This song is just cool. It's just cool. Sorry. It is. It's just cool. And the lyrics are funny too.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
The lyrics are about someone having a bad boyfriend who just sucked. Well, I think it's about that. This song to me feels like... Sorry. Listen, I don't want to promote nicotine use and I'm not promoting it, okay? I don't fuck with nicotine anymore. Actually, I do. If somebody has a vape around me, I'm like... Can I have some? And we all know that about me. So let's not like sugarcoat it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Instead of doing what I'm about to say, just listen to this song because this is how this song feels. Do you know what I'm saying? Okay. Not Allowed by TV Girl feels like standing outside of a bar on a summer night and smoking some sort of carcinogenic... tobacco-based product. Okay. Could be a cigarette. Can I be honest?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And that is human, but on the internet, it doesn't read as well. But despite all of this fear, I'm going to share what I think are the greatest songs of all time anyway. The mere chance that you might find a new song to add to your playlist is enough to motivate me to push past my fears. Thank you so much for watching. Now, let's get back to the episode.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It's never one of those like sweet, like there's a bunch of different names for them. Elf bar, flume, geek bar, whatever. You know what I'm talking about? The disgusting flavored big vapes that are like icy blue raspberry. It's not, it's like either a jewel or a cigarette. Okay. You're,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
you're outside of a bar and you can hear the hum of the music on the inside and you're smoking a cigarette or a Juul and all of the chemicals from that are going into your brain and you're so happy. And someone just like really hot comes up to you and starts talking to you, but they only really talk to you for a second and then they just like stand next to you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It's just like, they're just standing there and you know that they're hot and you know that you'll talk to them in a second, but it's just nice to know that they're standing right there. That's what this song feels like to me. It feels cool. It feels like you're wearing a full outfit of vintage St. Laurent, you know? And it's sleazy. It's a little sleazy, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Like there's a low slit down the front. You're wearing all black probably, you know? There's some leather going on. You're probably wearing like tiny little mini, little studded, little leather shorts and like a deep, like plunging V-neck black top, right? And you probably have smudged eyeliner and you're just smoking your cigarette or your Juul and you just, and that's what the song feels like.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And the music coming from the inside is like rumbling in your brain and it's so beautiful. Now juxtaposed with that, we have Can I Call You Tonight by Dayglo. This song came out in 2018. I absolutely love this song. Unfortunately, it reminds me of like literally two different exes that I have. Like it vividly, like I hear the song and immediately think of two of my exes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Not in a sad way, but more in a way where I'm like, I don't need to think about this right now. I'm busy right now doing other things. This doesn't need to cross my mind. This song is so sweet. It's so innocent. It's such an innocent love song about kind of like budding love. This song feels like a budding romance in like the 1950s between two young people, maybe around age 19 or 20.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And, you know, at this time, because it's like the 50s, sex is taboo. You know, there's no dating apps. It's all taboo. So you get nervous to call, you know, the person you have a crush on, talking on the phone for three hours straight, sitting on a chair uncomfortably, because of course the phones back then were attached to the wall, sitting, if there even was phones.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Were there even phones in the 1950s? I actually don't know. Well, let's pretend that there were. Yeah. I know nothing about history in that way. I don't know when certain technological advancements were created. When was the light bulb created? I don't know. Was it the 1800s? Probably. But could it have been the early 1900s? I don't know. That's the problem. When did they stop using candles?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I don't know. I don't know. No one ever taught me that. Or maybe they were supposed to, but I left high school junior year. So it could be my fault. But either way, I don't know. Um... This is just true, innocent love, okay? It's not lust. It's not exploited. It's pure, sweet love.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And these people who are right now in their 20s talking on the phone will get married and they will have a family and they will die together. And that is how this song feels, Can I Call You Tonight by Dayglo. What a beautiful song. I absolutely love it. My dad showed it to me when it was like super indie. I don't even know how he found it. He found it and it had like no streams.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
My dad shows me the best music. I wish I had my own taste. No, I actually do, but he shows me a lot of stuff. All right, next we have an obvious banger and all of you know it. Hey There Delilah by the Plain White Tees. This song came out in 2006. Obviously, this was a golden era for music, in my opinion. Do I even need to get into it? Like, you know this song. Hey there, Delilah.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I can't sing anymore. Here's the deal, okay? This song is corny, right? It's corny, but it's corny in the most incredible possible way. To me, this song feels like skinny jeans, really worn-in Converse, and of course, a plain white tee, because the band The Plain White Tees. and like a side swooped hair and like a Motorola or no, is it Motorola? No, like a BlackBerry phone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Remember the BlackBerry phone? Imagine that outfit on somebody, anybody. Imagine it on you and imagine you on the phone with your long distance lover in that outfit. That's how this song feels to me. Okay, let's move on. to a new song that I literally just found thanks to the Spotify algorithm. No, not sponsored, even though I do have a Spotify podcast. This was an algorithm pull from Spotify.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. ,,,,,,,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It took me a very long time to make this list. I worked very hard on it. It's in no particular order, and it's incomplete. It's subject to change. And... There are artists that I absolutely love and adore that are not on this list. And the reason for that is I prefer their albums, their entire albums as works of art rather than their individual pieces of music, their individual songs.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
There's artists on this list that haven't ever made an album that I enjoy all the way through. It's very fascinating, you guys. Okay, let's get into it. Let's start out with the song Up Against the Wall by Peter Bjorn and John. This song came out in 2006 when I was five years old. And I believe I discovered this song at around age, let's say 10 or 11.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Humans, for the most part, are passionate about music, and that is sort of a beautiful thing, but it's also sort of a terrifying thing. In addition to that, it feels like you can never win. If you like pop music, everyone's like, oh, you're basic. Oh, so you're basic. You don't even have taste. You just listen to what everyone else listens to. Oh, I get it now. You're basic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
, , , , , ,, the P. P. P. P. P. P.實,實 , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a P a And I was like, what was that? And I, that time, listened to enough lyrics and found it online. And then I remember I was so excited and I found the song, but at the time I was too young. I didn't have any way to like save music. So I forgot the name of it and I lost the song again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I heard this song on my dad and I's Pandora radio. This Pandora radio was based on the song West Coast by Coconut Records. We created a radio station based on that song, and we listened to it constantly. It honestly shaped, I would say, 60% of my music taste.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And then I found it again a few years later. It's been this like thing where... Someday by Sugar Ray has been in and out of my consciousness for years. And now it's officially on playlists. This song to me is like, holy shit. Driving down Sunset Boulevard in a Porsche convertible, wearing massive fucking sunglasses, like huge, like covering half of your face.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
hungover, wearing like sweatpants, about to go to another party. Fuck it. You're about to go to a darty. That is what the song feels like. This song feels like a bender to me. It's like, but it feels like the morning, it feels like a morning during a bender. Does that make sense? It feels like, you know, you partied yesterday.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I'm not talking about like a toxic bender where we're like doing illegal substances and like harming ourselves in any way. I'm just talking about like a fun bender where it's like, all right, you know what? We got drunk a few days in a row. It happens every once in a while. It's all good. You know? I'm not promoting that lifestyle. I'm personally sober.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
So I don't even do this type of stuff anymore. But you get the idea. That is the vibe. It's so good. It's like kind of trashy almost in a way. Like... It's kind of messy. It's kind of sloppy, but it's also like hopeful and excited and like, I don't know. Okay. Whisper to a scream by the icicle works. This song came out 1983. This song to me really sounds eighties, which I really love about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I really like the, like an eighties sort of sound like the Smiths. And do I even have, I do have a Smith song on here. I love the sound, you know, of like all these different like synthesizers and stuff and like this sort of effect on the voice that's almost like echoey and stuff. The dramatic sort of singing, the like kind of almost very like, the music almost feels colorful in the 80s.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
You know what I mean? Like it feels like very rich. Not that I have synesthesia, which means you can see sounds. Is that how that works? Like if you hear, you can see colors and shapes associated with sounds. I don't have that. But if I did, I think that 80s music would be very rich and colorful looking and bright and like sharp, you know? Maybe I do have synesthesia. Synesthesia. I don't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Whisper to a scream to me sounds like, it feels like walking through the forest at dusk, wearing an outfit that you normally wouldn't necessarily wear into the forest. You're wearing like a black turtleneck and black pants and like black Doc Martens. You know, you're not wearing hiking gear, okay? That's not the context in which you're in the forest. You're in the forest in an emo way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
You're in the forest in a Tumblr way. You're not in the forest in a hiking outdoorsy Patagonia sort of way. Understood? And you're kind of just like walking around randomly around the forest every once in a while deciding to just run for a bit and then like sitting under a tree and then you're running again and then you're sitting under a tree and it's either autumn or No, you know what?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It's winter in like California. So it's like not snowing. Well, it does snow in California sometimes. But it's winter, but it's not snowing. And you're in the forest and you're wearing all black. And it's very Tumblr what's happening. And you're like running and walking. And there's something very... childlike about it in a very, I'm going to use this word again, in a very sort of euphoric way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
The music on that playlist, it was a lot of early 2000s, like sweet alternative indie music that was pleasant on the ears, comforting, soothing, like nothing like rock crazy. Crazy, but not like folky either. It was like just sort of nerdy, indie, alternative music. Like The Shins, you know, Modest Moused, Peter, Bjorn, and John, The Postal Service.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And there are moments when you're sitting under the tree and relaxing, but then there are moments when you're sort of, you know, skipping and running through the forest as well. And you almost feel like you're flying and you feel the crisp air brushing against your face when you run. And it's really a beautiful experience and you're alone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Okay, moving on to literally such a good song, Tongue Tied by Group Love. This song came out in 2011. Wow, this song is good. You all know this song, okay? Because it comes on at a bar or a party and suddenly the room erupts in dancing. Everybody across genre preferences starts dancing. I don't need to describe this song to you. No, I don't. Because you know what it feels like.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It feels like when everyone at a party suddenly lets everything go and just dances together. When there's complete sink, when there's sinkage, when, no, that's not a word. When everybody at the party is synced and dancing and singing all together, that is what Tongue Tied by Group Love feels like. Moving on to a song that is very unlike me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
This like doesn't fit in with the other songs that I like. These Words by Natasha Bedingfield came out in 2004. This is like a very pop 2004, early 2000s pop song. which is not a genre that I am well-versed in. Well, it is because I was a kid during that time and I was listening to the radio and I heard a lot of pop music, but I didn't like a lot of it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It didn't necessarily resonate with me, all of it. However, these words by Natasha Bedingfield, are you kidding me? It is so good. I never even really process the lyrics until later. It's kind of about having writer's block, which I think is kind of charming. You know, it's kind of ironic. Like Natasha Bedingfield went into the studio and was like, I got nothing boss.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And they were like, well, you, you have a deadline for this album. She's like, God damn it. And then she wrote a song about not knowing what to write for her song. And there's something so beautiful about that. And that is very poetic. That's Um, this song feels like being like a really hot It Girl pop star. When this song comes on, I feel like an It Girl pop star.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I feel like Sabrina Carpenter all of a sudden. You know what I'm saying? I feel like Natasha Bedingfield. I feel like Hilary Duff. I feel like I'm wearing a little sparkly outfit. I feel like I'm singing my heart out on a stage. But an outdoor stage. Yeah, an outdoor stage. Like an outdoor Coachella stage. Okay, you know what? Yes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
These words by Natasha Bedingfield feel like performing main stage at Coachella for like 100,000 people in a cute little sparkly outfit with a bunch of pyrotechnics, like just explosions going off everywhere on the stage and just belting. No, you know what? No explosions, actually. Maybe confetti, if that. Maybe not even confetti. Maybe confetti that's shaped like flower petals. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I feel when I'm belting out these words by Natasha Bedingfield that I am on the stage. Moving on to Video Killed the Radio Star by The Buggles. This song came out in 1980. Another one that my dad showed me. He showed me the music video because there's a very iconic music video
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
for this song which is it's so good I actually need to watch it again because I genuinely don't remember anything about it and I'm telling you how amazing it is and I don't remember it but it's also super 80s and the album name that it's on is The Age of Plastic which is actually a very timeless name I think and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And it's funny because I'm looking at the album now and the rest of the album, none of the other songs have like any streams and I want to go listen to them because they're kind of undiscovered. Whereas Video Killed the Radio Star is a huge song. This song feels very like futuristic and maybe that's because the music video is kind of futuristic. I feel like it is in like the stereotypical way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
you know, like flying cars that are sort of rounded at the corners and like, you know, everybody's dressed up in like beautiful sort of metallic outfits and like everyone lives on Mars. Like that's what I mean by the song feels sort of futuristic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
You know, like the Jetsons being this sort of like alien family and they have like, there's something sort of like, like, I hope you know what aesthetic I'm talking about. Like sort of a,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And this was a song that used to come up on that radio station. I loved it as a kid, but I heard it again later, I think when I was like 21, so a few years ago. And I was like, oh, wait a minute. This is the best song I've ever heard. And I re-fell in love with it in a brand new way. And when I close my eyes and think about what this song sounds like, it sounds like being on a ferry.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
a retro futuristic aesthetic, like in like the 60s, what they thought today would look like, you know, with like all these beautiful buildings with a bunch of orbs everywhere and like floating cars and everything's floating and everything has rounded corners and it's like everything's shiny and metallic and perfect. Video killed the radio star by the buggles feels like
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
a day living in that world where everything is perfect, but it's like a little bit too perfect. You know what I mean? And it's actually a little bit eerie, but it's also so beautiful. For breakfast, you have a beautiful, perfect plate of eggs where like your egg is perfectly cooked and you have like, you know, a little piece of bacon and it's like the perfect little piece of bacon. And then...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
You go to the grocery store and it's like everybody's walking in straight lines and everybody's putting things in their cart perfectly organized like Tetris. And then for dinner, the whole family sits around the table and everybody's perfectly mannered. And it feels like this eerily perfect sort of dystopia. That's what this song feels like to me. I don't know why. Moving on to Some Nights by Fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
This song was absolutely massive when I was in middle school. It came out in 2012. It was a pop song and it is truly one of the best songs of all time. Every time I hear this song, I'm like, this is unbelievable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And it kind of defies all odds in a way because this is not a song that I would have thought when it first came out that I would love this much for this long because there are certain elements of it that are like cringe. I don't care. I think it's an incredible song.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And to me, it feels like getting really blackout drunk at a dive bar and playing pool and like throwing up in the bathroom, but then like get like getting up and like continuing and like playing more pool and ultimately having a fun night.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
But it was a little bit sloppy your evening, you know, like you got a little bit of throw up on your shirt and like no one told you and it was there all night and it's just like mortifying. Yeah. But you actually did end up getting some really good shots when you were playing pool, which was really rewarding. And music is blaring in this bar, by the way. It's not a chic vibe at all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It's not, but it is still a vibe, right? And music is ultimately blaring. That is Some Nights by Fun. It is such a good song. Next, we have a new song that just came out, Die With a Smile by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars. You've probably heard the song. It has 2 billion streams. Um, came out in 2024. I'm sorry. I love Bruno Mars. Bruno Mars is so good. Lady Gaga is so good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I don't even need to talk about this song because it has so many streams that like you've heard it before. You know what I'm saying? You already know how it makes you feel. I don't need to describe it to you. There's a 100% chance that you heard this song. Okay. Next we have, yes, I'm changing by Tame Impala. Okay. This song came out in 2015.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
This was like a song that I discovered freshman year of high school that truly changed my music taste. There was this sort of moment in high school where I really started to get into music for the first time, like on my own accord, not just listening to the music that my dad showed me, but rather going on my own adventure.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And this was one of the first songs that I found myself and fell in love with myself. And I remember listening to it in my freshman art class, my freshman year art class. And this song was so heavy for me. It was so serious. It really hit. This song... hits. And to me, it almost feels like if you were a small speck of dust in a bathtub. That insignificant, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Imagine you're a small speck of dust in a bathtub. This song feels like a speck of dust spiraling down the bathtub drain. Again, sometimes I wonder if I'm a little bit too abstract with the explanations. Let me put this differently. This song feels like spiraling down the drain, but in a weirdly good way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Like imagine yourself being so small that you could spiral down the drain, like the bathtub drain, the sink drain. And imagine what it would feel like if you knew that you could breathe underwater or whatever and that you wouldn't die. Imagine what it would feel like to go down the drain.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
probably kind of delightful you're rhythmically going in circles but you're on your back so like you're not dizzy but you're being carried in circles and it's getting faster and faster because as you as the whirlpool gets tighter towards the bottom it gets faster that's what the song feels like it feels like going down the drain So do with that what you will.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
No, okay, imagine this, imagine this. You're in New York City. It's foggy and a bit misty. It's a bit moist in the air. you're feeling content. You don't really feel happy. You don't really feel sad. You just feel sort of content, maybe leaning towards a bit sad or a bit emo, but not in a bad way, just in like a in your feels sort of way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Moving on to Threat of Joy by The Strokes. This song came out in 2016. I love The Strokes. I love a lot of Strokes songs. But this was my favorite song of all time for like three years when I was a teenager, probably like age 16, 17, maybe even 18 too. For me, it tickled my brain in every single way I wanted it to tickle me. And it felt fun. Like this song has just always felt fun to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
There's something like... casual about it and fun about it. And it reminds me of being ages 16, 17, 18 so much that that's the only way that I can describe it. This song feels like me, Emma Chamberlain, at age 16, 17, or 18, which if you don't know what that was like, having long hair put up in...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
some sort of hideous scrunchie, driving my car around everywhere, being alone a lot, being kind of lonely, but also having fun with that, feeling like a lot of hope for my future, but also being like, I don't know. So like having this underlying feeling of excitement and hope, but also like unsure. I don't know. Threat of joy by the strokes to me just reminds me of being a teenager.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Next we have Dedicated to the One I Love by the Mamas and the Papas. This song came out in 1967. I don't remember how I heard it or when I heard it, but it's just like, it's just like a perfect song. It's so beautifully sung, like such like rich voice on this song. This song feels like being in a really beautiful gown, like probably a velvet gown or like silk.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
with a really big, a huge bottom part. What's that called? A huge trail, a huge... Fuck, what's it called? The waist down of the gown is large. It has boning in it. It's very large.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
This song feels like sitting on the steps of a beautiful Victorian building with insane, beautiful sculptures, and you're the child of a rich man, and you're sitting on the steps in front of this beautiful, beautiful mansion after an evening, after a soiree, after a party where there was lots of champagne to be had, but you miss your beloved because your beloved is off. Ugh. God, I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I don't know what your beloved is doing, but they're off. They're off on a work trip or they're like, you know, or they're in the army or something. And you're sitting on the steps and you're beautiful gown and you look absolutely beautiful and you're missing your love. And you have a beautiful chalice of champagne in your hand, but you don't even care about it. You're not even drinking it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And you decide that you want to go on the ferry and you want to see the water that surrounds New York and you want to see the Statue of Liberty and you want to listen to music. So you pop in your little wired headphones and you're wearing a little cardigan and a little cute pair of jeans.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
You set it down on the steps and you're crying beautiful, small, little, dainty little tears down your cheek and they're falling onto the velvet or the silk of your beautiful, voluptuous gown. That's what it feels like to me. But it's like, not like a messy cry. It's like a hot cry, like a cool cry, like a romantic cry, slight sob. It's like a slight sob. Next, What Once Was by Hers.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
This song came out in 2017. This was my favorite song for a really, really long time. Also, when I was like 16, 17, I had a few favorite songs when I was like 16, 17, 18. This song, actually, this one was maybe like later, like 17, 18, 19. This song, to me, it feels like painting in your room. The windows are open. There's air coming in. It doesn't really matter what time of year it is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And you're making some sort of little art project. Could be anything. And you're wearing your pajamas. And you have some sort of snack, maybe, perhaps. Maybe you have a little bowl of popcorn or something. Maybe this is just what I wish was happening right now. Do you know how much I would love to just have the windows open and eat a little bit of popcorn and do a little painting?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
My God, that sounds delightful. In fact, I might do that later. That's what this song feels like to me, I think. Either that or it feels like laying in bed with your significant other, not sexually, like just laying there, windows open, everyone's fully clothed in pajamas, no one's naked, nothing sexual is happening. Platonic laying in bed with your significant other, maybe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It could feel like either of those two things. Next we have There She Goes by The Laws. This is another one my dad showed me. This song came out in 1990 or did it? I feel like, yeah, it did come out in 1990. Okay, this song feels like being at the airport and seeing someone so hot and you're like, oh my God. This is the love of my life. You know, like I have to go talk to this person.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And then you contemplating talking to them over and over and over and over again. And then you're like, but I'm never gonna see them again. Oh, maybe that's a good thing. Oh, maybe that's a bad thing. And then they board their flight and you know that you're never gonna see them again. And the bittersweet loss,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
This song feels like sitting on the plane after seeing somebody hot in the airport and imagining what it would have been like to have talked to them. In a way that is not fully sad, it's also kind of weirdly satisfying. There's almost something even more satisfying about thinking about what it would have been like with somebody.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
in a little pair of cute little flats, and you're wearing a cute little pair of glasses, and it's foggy, and it's a bit brisk, and your nose is a bit pink, and you're sailing around or boating on the ferry around New York City, and it's cold, and you have nothing better to do because it's a Sunday afternoon, and that's what this song feels like to me. Okay, let's move on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
This song feels like imagining what it would have been like to talk to the hot person in the airport. Okay, moving on to Starman by David Bowie. This song came out in 1972. Another one that my dad showed me. When my dad first tried to introduce David Bowie to me, I was like, excuse me, I hate this. Excuse me, what is this? Turn it off. I hate it. I didn't really like his voice.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
You know, the actual songs themselves were so unusual sounding and kind of jarring to hear. And my brain couldn't comprehend it at first. And then similar to some of the songs that I mentioned earlier that took me a minute to understand, it clicked one day. And I was like, oh, fuck, this is really good. And I became a David Bowie fan. And I think I became a fan in high school.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I think he showed me in middle school. And then I think I became a fan by high school. Starman by David Bowie feels like a purple electric guitar that's shaped like a V. Have you ever seen those electric guitars that are like shaped like a V? They're like very retro looking.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
If I go to a guitar shop, which I don't do very often, although I have a lot of musicians around me, so I do end up at a music store here and there. When I see a guitar like that, I immediately just start playing Starman by David Bowie in my head. Does that make sense? It feels like being on a spaceship that's going to Mars with that purple guitar.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Maybe I'm just running out of things to say, but that is what I think it feels like. Okay, next we have I Don't Feel Like Dancing by the Scissor Sisters. This song came out in 2006. My dad and I, I don't know where he found the song or I found the song. I don't know how this song came onto our radar, but... But we both became obsessed with it. I think more me. I think he was just humoring me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I don't know that he liked it as much, but I loved the song. This is a song that you put on and I'm sorry, but you just have to dance. If you don't start dancing, you're a freak. You're a freak because it's so fun. And the music video is...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
hilarious and like camp and like everybody's wearing like tight suits I think if I'm remembering correctly and there's like a green screen involved it's like crazy and the song is the best song to dance to out of any song I've ever danced to in my life I'm not kidding oh my god it's so good
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And to me, it feels like putting on a super tight red latex suit and like some big glasses and going out for the night and going to like a groovy sort of bar and drinking sparkling water because you don't even need to get drunk that night because you're so high off of your latex red suit. Okay, that's what this song feels like to me. And having the best night of your life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And then waking up the next morning and feeling completely refreshed because you didn't drink. Because you were so, so, you were almost drunk off of your red latex suit. That was so hard to get on, by the way, but you had friends to help. Moving on to This Charming Man by The Smiths. This song came out in 1984. I loved this song as a teenager as well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
This song feels like what I imagine would be like an 80s block party. That's how it feels to me. I never lived on a street where there were any block parties.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
If you don't know what I mean by a block party, I mean like when someone lives in a cul-de-sac like at the end of a street and all the neighbors will like come out onto their front lawn and do like a barbecue or something and there's music and like a trampoline. I had some friends who had block parties and I attended them and they were... It was so much fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And I want to live on a street one day that has block parties because it's so fun and communal. But this Charming Man by the Smiths feels like a hot summer night block party. All the neighbors are out. All ages of people are out. There's a bunch of different things going on. Like somebody's mom is like flirting with somebody's dad and that shouldn't be happening.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Weird Fishes slash R. Peggy by Radiohead. I don't actually know how I discovered this song, but I found it a few years ago, probably when I was like, again, like 20. And this was one of those songs that I listened to on repeat over and over and over again so many times that it actually made me question like my well-being. I was like, how am I not sick of this yet? And I'm still not sick of it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And young boys are trying to do tricks on their bike. And somebody's uncle is like really drunk and drank a lot of beer. And somebody brought fireworks and now fireworks are going off. For some reason, that's what this Charming Man by the Smiths feels like to me. But it also just feels really 80s. Like, I don't know. It sounds 80s, which I think is fun. And I like that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
So Band on the Run by Paul McCartney and Wings. This song came out in 1973. I remember being a young child singing this in the car with my dad. I know I keep mentioning that I sang things with my dad. I also sang things with my mom, but those didn't make this list. My mom and I would listen to Rascal Flatts and Fergie. I love that stuff, but it's not making it on the list for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It's just not like, whoa, Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts, a country classic song. No, see, I don't know if it belongs on this list. I'll think about it. Um, Band on the Run, it is such a good, fun song. And to me, it feels like a bunch of people fit in a clown car. Imagine a clown car, you know, like a small like prop car. And imagine like 50 guys in it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
OK, and you're watching and a bunch of guys just keep getting out of the car. That's what Band on the Run by Paul McCartney and Wings feels like to me. But it also feels like being six years old and singing in my dad's Volkswagen Golf. Oh, my God. The next song is cringe. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. Sorry. It is one of the best songs of all time. came out in 1975.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It's obviously seven minutes, oh no, it's six minutes long. It's so long. You've probably heard Bohemian Rhapsody before. Like, do I really need to, I don't think I need to tell you what Bohemian Rhapsody feels like. Although it does sort of feel like taking the stairs. Like in the beginning, it doesn't really burn. It's like pretty chill. But And then it really starts to burn.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And then it really starts to burn. And then you're like, oh my God, I can't believe this is still going. Like, when is this, when am I going to be done going up the stairs? Like, when will I reach my destination? It's like going up 10 flights of stairs. Fuck it, 20 flights of stairs. But then at the end, you're so glad that you did it. And it felt amazing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And your glutes are burning and your glutes are toned. And it's just absolutely unbelievable. That's what Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen feels like to me. Okay, next we have Take a Chance on Me by ABBA. This song came out in 1977. I love ABBA. My dad played a lot of ABBA for me as a kid. And it's just so wholesome. You know what this song feels like? This song feels like being inside of a snow globe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I don't know how to explain it, but it's such like a kitschy, catchy, sort of perfect song almost that the song makes me feel like I'm like a little ice princess inside of a snow globe. I don't know. And like there's some hot guy looking at me in the snow globe being like, wow, I wish that was a real girl. That's how Take a Chance on Me by ABBA makes me feel.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Next, we have Harvest Moon by Neil Young. This song came out in 1992. When I was a kid, my dad showed me a little bit of Neil Young and it never really stuck for me, which I understand in retrospect because it's not a sound for kids necessarily. His voice is very raw and real and the music is very mature. There's something very mature about it. It's not pop at all. It's not...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It's very acoustic sounding. It's very classic. And I don't know, it's not for kids. So I understand why I didn't get it as a kid. But it's funny because walking around San Francisco one time, my dad and I randomly walked past this music venue and my dad was like, oh my God. And I was like, what? I was like seven. He was like, it's Neil Young. I had no idea who that was.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Anyway, my dad went up and was like, hey, man, such a big fan. So nice to meet you. Shook his hand and was like, have a good one. My dad fully fangirled for Neil Young, which I understand now because he's very iconic. But in the moment, I was like, who's that? And now it's cool to me that I bumped into Neil Young randomly in San Francisco as a kid and But at the time I was like, I don't care.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I think this is one of the only songs on this playlist that I've not listened to too much to the point where now I can't hear it anymore. Like this song feels brand new to me every single time that I listened to it. It came out in 2007. It shockingly wasn't on my Pandora radio station when I was a kid.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Where are the Jonas Brothers? Anyway, Harvest Moon by Neil Young absolutely makes me sob. This is a song that has made me sob time and time again. And it makes me feel like I'm sitting in like a field of dried up grass in the evening time and crying because I'm going through a breakup. A lot of songs make me feel like I'm going through a breakup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Like they make you feel that sense of longing and sadness, but also happiness at the same time that a breakup makes you feel. And that's what I get from Harvest Moon by Neil Young. It really does feel like the harvest moon. Like I imagine a big, beautiful moon above, you know, a dry field with tall grass or tall, you know, plants.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
and sitting in it in the summer, at the end of the summer, yes, and thinking, thinking in that field. That's what it feels like. Okay, next we have Lucky Number by Lena Lovitch. This song came out in 1978. This song, even to this day, I love it. It is very, it's almost hard to listen to. But that's what's so good about it. It's a challenge. This is a challenging song to listen to.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
There's a lot of weird sounds in it. The way that she sings is kind of unusual. Like it's not an easy listen, but once it clicks, you'll never hear, it's like you'll never hear music the same again. Once you learn to like it, it rewires your brain. It is weird. It is really weird. To me, it feels like getting electrocuted. but not in a way that is ultimately dangerous.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
If you like alternative music, people are like... Oh, you're a pick me. Oh, my God. You're not like everybody else. You're different because you're an alternative. Oh, you're different. And then if you listen to avant-garde music, everyone's like, oh, so you're a freak. You're a freak. And I should stay far, far away from you because you're a freak.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It feels like getting shocked on accident, but for the whole song, but in a way that's almost satisfying. This song feels like wearing like really, really tall Vivienne Westwood platform shoes around town and wearing a like really dramatic outfit. This song feels like having like kind of a rational, paranoid, borderline manic moment about something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
But not in a negative way, kind of in a beautiful way. Okay. Anyway, I don't know how to explain it. Moving on to Space Song by Beach House. This song came out in 2015. To be honest, I love every single Beach House song that they've ever created. This is another band where the entire discography is perfect. There are so many good Beach House songs.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
individually, like individual songs and albums, I was overwhelmed by it. So I just chose their biggest song, which is Space Song, because it's the most recognizable. It has a billion streams. You've probably heard it. It feels like floating in space. in the middle of the night. It feels like being in a sensory deprivation tank. It feels like being completely numb in a soothing sort of way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It feels like floating and flying. This song has made me cry in a way that very few other songs have. When I was like 16 years old and I found this song, it was not pretty. I remember one time I was going to hang out with my friends and I was in my mom's car because I couldn't drive yet. So I guess I was like 15. And this song came on from my Spotify because I was on aux, of course.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
To me, this song feels like laying in your bed in soft sweatpants, not pajamas, not like a pajama set, but like sweatpants, like really comfortable sweatpants. And perhaps you have a fireplace in your room or maybe you just have a lot of candles. There's a lot of warm lighting around you and it's pouring rain. It is absolutely gushing, gushing, gushing rain outside.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And I started bawling uncontrollably just because the song moved me so much. And my mom was like, what is wrong with you? And I was like, I can't handle this song. It's so moving for me. And I think that that's why it's such a popular song. It's done very well because it's very moving. It's such a beautiful song. And it really does make you feel like you're floating in air, like an orb of light.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I'm not kidding. Okay, anyway, next we have Why Do You Feel So Down by Declan McKenna. Wow, this is a great song. Came out in 2017. This song feels like, I don't know why, but being in high school and hanging out with your friends late at night on the weekends. And that's kind of a new privilege at that age. There's like this excitement and this energy everywhere.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And this sort of youthfulness and a bit of edge because you're kind of getting a bit older and you're starting to rebel and stuff. Without parents around, it's like a new, exciting thing. Moving on. Nine in the Afternoon by Panic at the Disco. This song came out in 2008. And I don't remember when I discovered it. I don't think I discovered it when it was popular.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I think it came into my radar later. This song... feels like being in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, but like it's a rave. No, it's not even a rave. It's like jumping on a trampoline at Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. That's what the song feels like to me. There's nothing else to say about it. This is the type of song that it comes on and I'm fucking, I am headbanging.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
But it's not even like a headbanging sort of song. It's not like it's heavy metal, but it's still a headbanger. Okay, next we have The Adults Are Talking by The Strokes. This song came out in 2020. This entire album that it's on, The New Abnormal by The Strokes, Absolutely incredible. I absolutely loved that album. In fact, it's one of my favorite albums of all time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
This was like my favorite song for like multiple years, like age probably, I don't know, 21 to no, maybe like 20 to 22. I don't know. I really love this song for a long time. And you know what it feels like to me? And this might be biased because I feel like I listened to this song a lot during the summer that it came out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I feel like this song feels like being on like a small little speedboat sort of on a lake with friends, drunk. Either that or... or being drunk on the beach during the day, like during the day. But I actually think it's because I literally was drunk on the beach a lot when I listened to this song.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
This song could also feel like wearing a really fucking cool outfit, like something really chic and timeless, like a red sweater. and like a really well-fitted blue jean and like a black boot and like a black turtleneck and like a black belt and like gorgeous large black glasses and like strutting through New York City with headphones on. It could also feel that way too.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
But I think it's because I've done all of those things while listening to this song. And so I'm just unable to disconnect my own personal experience from this song because it was so ingrained in a time in my life, but it's good. Next, we have Such Great Heights by the Postal Service.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
This song came out in 2003, and it's on another one of my favorite albums of all time that I listened to a lot growing up. This song feels like exchanging Valentine's letters with your crush at work. You know what I'm saying? Or your crush at school. But you're an adult. You know when you exchange valentines and you're a kid? Okay, yeah, that's fun or whatever and cute.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
But imagine if you had to do that as an adult and what that aesthetic would be at work or at school in some sort of corporate location. That is what Such Great Heights by the Postal Service feels like to me. It's like this sweet, innocent, slightly weird, I don't know, I've been talking for too long. Let's wrap this up, okay? Next, we have Light On by Pine Grove.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
But the sound of it is very, is very... tame and vague, but it's absolutely just raining cats and dogs outside, but you're safe in a little cocoon inside of your bedroom. Again, you're content. You're not happy or sad. You're content, but you're also kind of tired. And so there's this feeling of laying in your bed, safe in your bed with warm lighting around you in the rain coming down outside.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I found this song somewhat recently, but it came out in 2018. This song, for some reason, feels like begging for your ex to come back. but in like a, almost like in a sweet, like laughing way. Like if you're like, fuck it, I'm already done being heartbroken. I don't even care anymore. Now it's like, I'm just going to try again because fuck it. And like, I'm not even that hurt anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I've already been through so much hurt from this and I'm not like crying anymore. I'm not depressed anymore. Now I'm just giving it another try because why not? It's like, this song to me is like standing outside of your ex's window and throwing a rock at the window and then they open it up and you're like, Just come back with me already. That's what this song feels like.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Okay, next we have Sloop John B by the Beach Boys. I can just hop right into it because the vision is so clear. This song is like wearing a really cute sailor's outfit, like all white with like navy details, a little sailor's hat, having like a little gold watch on. you know, like the whole sailor, the whole sailor vibe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And you're on a little boat with like a few of your friends and you guys are running the boat and you're accomplishing some sort of task. Like maybe you're dropping off a package across the lake. You've been assigned to drop off a package across the lake and you must do so on your little boat. Or maybe you're gathering firewood for some reason. Doesn't matter why. Don't ask me why.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It doesn't matter. You're gathering firewood and you're dropping off a package via your little boat and you're with your friends and you guys all work together on this little boat and you all wear little sailor's outfits. Sloop John B by the Beach Boys came out in 1966. Absolute banger. And you know what? I have another Beach Boys song. Yeah, I do. This one came out in 1963. This is In My Room.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It feels so good. You're tired. You're exhausted. But it's okay now because you're in your bed. That's how this song feels to me. Okay, next. Femme Fatale by The Velvet Underground. This song came out in 1967. You know, this song, the lyrics are sort of about a femme fatale, a dangerous woman. And I listened to the song and it really reminds me how much I am not a dangerous woman.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I am reminded that I am so just ultimately safe to be around. And I really don't hurt men's feelings. You know, unfortunately, they usually hurt mine. And if I hurt theirs, it's because they hurt mine first. However, there is something about listening to this song and it being about this dangerous woman where I'm like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
you know what, while I listen to this song, I feel sort of like a dangerous woman, but in a very interesting way because this song is not like, from like a sound perspective, it actually doesn't sound badass. Like it's not like listening to like hyper pop that like makes you feel hot, like you're strutting like runway. Like it doesn't make you feel hot in that way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Because the song actually is very beautiful and soft and like one of the most cozy, beautiful sounding songs I've ever heard in my life. But the lyrics are very ironic because it's like very like hot girl vibe. It sounds like wearing like really beautiful lace lingerie, but with like a really soft billowing dress over it that like that makes it so that you can't see the lingerie at all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
You're hot, but you're also incredibly comfortable and surrounded by warmth. This song also feels like the first day of spring. In fact, I vividly remember when that happened this year. The first warm day of the year, it was blissful. And I live in Los Angeles. It never even gets that cold. But even for me, the first day of sort of warmth after the winter, it is euphoric.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Anyway, so this is my final picture for you. It's the first warm day of the year. It's like 73 outside. And you're wearing beautiful, comfortable, not overly sexy, just beautiful, comfortable lingerie. But over it, you have this beautiful, willowing, soft, soft, soft dress on. And you're just walking around a field. That is what this song feels like to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And then if you listen to country music, everyone's like, oh, so you just like the worst genre ever created. Oh, I get it now. And then if you like, I don't know, well, okay, I ran out of genres off the top of my head, but you get the idea. We can't win. There's like a negative stereotype about every single potential music preference.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Next, we have Uncle Albert slash Admiral Halsey by Paul McCartney and Linda McCartney. This song came out in 1971. I don't know what it is about me and songs that have slashes in them. Like this is the fourth song and we already have another song with a slash in it. Like it has two names. Very odd. Anyway, I absolutely love Paul McCartney.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I love every single musical endeavor he's ever gone on in his life. I love the Beatles. I love his band Wings. I love when he does solo stuff. This is technically a solo song with his wife. I fucking love Paul McCartney. Sorry. Sorry. And this song rewired my brain chemistry because let me tell you, this song is fucking weird. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And it's actually funny because I rarely discover new Paul McCartney songs because I grew up my dad showing me Paul McCartney and the Beatles and wings and all this. So it's rare for me to discover a new one, but he's made so many different songs and had so many different projects.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Like I didn't grow up listening to this song and I found it last year because I think it had like a little TikTok moment actually. And I'd never heard it before. It is such a good song. You guys, it's so good, but it's so weird. And the first few times you listen to it, you're like, that was so weird. But then something clicks and it's unbelievable, but it's unlike any song I've ever heard before.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And I can't say that for many songs. It is completely unique to itself. It is so weird. You know what it sounds like to me? It sounds like going through a car wash. Okay, you know when you're going through a car wash with your friends and at first, you know, it's like fun because it's like, oh, put your car in neutral.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
If you've never gone through a car wash, you will have no idea what I'm talking about and this will make no sense to you. Um, but I'm talking about like the carwash where you stay in your car and you drive through the drive through carwash. Okay. That's what the song, the experience of that is what the song sounds like. You, you put the car in neutral. You're excited.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
Oh my God, my car's in neutral. I'm no longer in control of my car anymore. And then soap goes all over the windows and you're like, well, oh, I can't see, I can't see. And then your car is kind of vibrating a little bit and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. And then water starts spraying and the car starts vibrating more.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And then it starts blowing all the water off and then there's huge brushes that are coming on and scrubbing on the car. And then they go away and then there's a big dryer. And then it's this experience that is constantly changing and constantly evolving for the entire five to 10 minutes that you are in that environment. car wash drive-thru.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And it never gets old because it's like there's always something new. The second that you get used to the sound that's happening, to the experience that's happening, it changes to something else. And it's exciting. That is what this song is to me. Next, we have the song Good to See by the band Pinback. This song was created in 2007. 2007 was kind of a good year for music, to be honest.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
There's a lot of songs from like 2007. This song I found on the Pandora radio station. I grew up with this song. I grew up hearing it in my house, playing on that Pandora radio all the time. But what's interesting is a lot of the songs from that Pandora radio station didn't end up affecting me until I got a bit older.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
I kind of went back and I actually made a playlist of all of the songs I remember from that radio station. I did that a few years ago and I really fell in love with these songs again. And this was one of them that like really stuck with me where I was like, this is an incredible song. This song is not sad. I've weirdly cried to it. I don't know why there's something about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And then last but not least, I'm terrified to do this episode because I can't show you the music that I'm talking about. I can't play you the song. No, because I will get sued or something, okay? So instead, I have to describe the songs as best as I can because I also can't describe them on a technical level. I didn't go to music school.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
In like the last quarter of the song, there's like a moment in it that like really makes me cry. But this song is not sad. It's like actually kind of quirky and fun and relaxed. Like it's not, I don't know, there's nothing really dramatic about this song. But for some reason, the end makes me cry.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
If I had to describe this song, this song feels like a 13-year-old boy walking to middle school on a sunny day It's like almost summer and he's walking to school and he's and he's wearing a little fedora and he's wearing little suspenders. Like there's something there's like a childlike wonder to this song that I can't explain. There's like a childlike sort of energy to it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
But there's also this sort of nerdy quirkiness to it, which is where the fedora and the suspenders come in. But there's something hopeful about this song, which is why it's summertime. It's almost the end of the school year. I don't know. That's how it feels to me. Moving on. True Love Will Find You in the End by Daniel Johnston. This song came out in 1990.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
And I remember my dad showed me this song a few years ago. And the first time I listened to it, I was like, wait, I've heard this before. And that was because I had. Because many people have covered this song. But I had never heard Daniel Johnston's version. And he wrote this song. And the production of the song, the... the way that the song sounds is incredibly raw and real, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the greatest songs of all time (in my opinion)
It is not produced super fancy. There isn't a lot of instruments happening. It's not super clean. It's definitely messy. It's definitely very human. Nothing about it is perfect. And the first time you hear it, you notice that because compared to everything else that you're listening to on Spotify or wherever you listen to music, it's like, whoa, this sounds very different.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I recently discovered that one of the most significant causes of emotional instability for me is being under the wrong kinds of pressure. And I say the wrong kinds of pressure because not all pressure is bad. In fact, pressure can be incredibly beneficial.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I was trying to come up with ideas, execute on ideas successfully in a very short window of time, okay? And I just thought that this pressure was inevitable. Like, this is just the way that it is. This is when the deadline is. I had only so much time to come up with the idea, execute on it before the deadline. And I can't tell you the emotional distress that this would cause for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Number one, constantly experiencing creative block. Why? Because pressure causes creative block. I cannot think creatively when I'm under pressure. I'm most creative when I have complete freedom. And I think most people are like that. But again, like if you have somewhat of a creative job, you don't get to have complete freedom. There are deadlines. You know, I do two podcast episodes a week.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Chamberlain Coffee, there are lots of deadlines. That's not gonna change. But what I was able to do was get ahead. And at the beginning of this year, I was like, I'm not messing around this year. I wanna be able to take a week just to think about an idea. I want to have a week of bad days where I can't come up with any ideas and where I just need to incubate on stuff. I want that freedom.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
But I had to create that for myself by getting ahead and pushing myself to get as much done as I could in the beginning of the year so that I could basically be ahead indefinitely. If you can get ahead, then as long as you can somewhat maintain a decent workload, at least the pressure's off.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And ironically, what ends up happening and what happened to me was that I got so ahead that pretty much all the pressure just dissipated. And guess what? No more creative block, way less bad days where I like can't get anything done and I can't function creatively. Ironically, there's less pressure now to get things done quickly. There's no pressure now to get things done quickly.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
The pressure that we put on ourself and also the high-pressure situations that we put ourselves in. I can think of many instances of pressure being incredibly beneficial for me. And I'll give you examples. To start, growing up, I was a competitive cheerleader, ages like 10 to 15.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I don't even need to come up with an idea. I could take a month off of everything if I wanted because I'm so ahead, but I don't even want to. I don't even want to because now I'm having fun because there's no pressure. You know, it's awesome. Like I get to leisurely work on things and it's awesome.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
It was a lot of work in the beginning and now I'm getting to experience the fruits of that labor and the pressure is off and I feel incredible. And now I know, now I know. When it comes to creative stuff, I need zero pressure. Otherwise, I have mental breakdowns.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And I was putting all this pressure on myself to be turning around creative ideas and concepts in retrospect in an unrealistic amount of time. It was completely unrealistic. But to me, I was like, well, this is my job, so I should be able to do it. So I didn't take control of that situation and acknowledge the fact that I was creating this high pressure situation when it didn't need to be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And it was only becoming more high pressure because it was high pressure. Because it was high pressure, I couldn't be creative, which made it even more high pressure because I didn't have any ideas. And then I couldn't hit a deadline. Do you see what I'm saying? So now that I'm so ahead, it's like, oh my God, let's just sit back and relax. And this sort of happened on accident.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Like, I think I subconsciously knew that there was too much pressure and that that was, you know, ultimately harmful. But I don't think I realized when I first sort of made the decision to change my work style, I didn't realize how significant the wrong kinds of pressure are in my life. By making this simple shift in my work life, I am a more patient person. I'm an even more generous person.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Like it's made me a better person. Not that I was like mean or not charitable before, but like it's given me the space to be a better person. It's also made my overall quality of life so much better. Now I'm not like constantly stressed, constantly feeling this weight, this pressure, like, oh my God, I need to perform well tomorrow. I need to perform.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I need to have a creative day tomorrow because there's all this pressure. That's all gone. So not only am I not like existing in that state 24 seven, but also when I sit down to work in the morning, I'm like, it's all fucking good. Let's just have fun today. And I get so much done and I have fun and everything's good. And that really woke me up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I was like, when I started to feel the shift and I experienced the relief from that pressure, I was like, oh, that was definitely the wrong kind of pressure. You know what I mean? Like that wasn't turning me into a diamond. That was causing me to crumble. You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I, for so many years have existed in that space where I was dealing with these really intense deadlines, whether they were deadlines from companies or outside of myself or there were deadlines from me because there have been many times in my career where nobody has put a deadline on me but me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And that has caused me so much stress that the same thing has happened, creative block, not being able to get anything done, complete overwhelm. And now realizing, oh, all I need to do is just get ahead. It's changed everything for me. Realizing that putting that type of pressure on myself completely freezes me. Now I know that that's the wrong kind of pressure.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
That's not making me a more productive person. It wasn't having a net positive effect. It was having a net negative and it never got better. That's been an issue for me for years. And I just recently was like, I need to work really hard to get ahead and see what happens, see how it feels. But I think that the reason why I never did it sooner was because it was so much work. It was a lot of work.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And when I first started, the pressure was high, but just high enough to challenge me, but not so high that I had a mental breakdown. We did relatively competitive competitions. I was a competitive cheerleader, which meant that instead of cheering for football games and basketball games and stuff like that for sports teams at our school, we performed routines at competitions.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
So that definitely sparked the realization like, oh, being under the wrong kinds of pressure, not good for me. But there were a few other things that happened in my life, a few other shifts that happened that also led to this realization. Another one being, I used to put a lot of pressure on myself to be a people pleaser, to be everyone's friend, to be liked by everyone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And over the last few years, I've slowly but surely sort of released that pressure. And it's taken many years to fully... And I'm still working on it, but like to fully let go of that pressure because I used to like respond to every text, be friends with everybody who wanted to be friends with me. When people would, I don't know, like disrespect me, I wouldn't confront them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I was always saying what I thought people wanted to hear. And it sort of just felt like everyone else had control over me. And I was just sort of at everyone's mercy in a way. You know what I mean? That's how it felt to me. It started a few years ago where I was like, all right, I can't just be friends with everybody anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I really had to put my foot down with quite a few of my friends a few years ago, and I really had to cut them off. There was a few people. There was a bunch of people, actually. There was quite a lot of friends that came and went over the last few years, but I remember there was a few friendships in my teenage years where I was like, okay, this is not a healthy friendship. You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
This is not working. I need to end this. And I did. And it was scary and they were angry at me and they probably still are. But I was like, you know what? This is not a friendship that is healthy for me. This is stressful. This is like, you know, somewhat codependent, even toxic. It's overall unhealthy for me. I don't want to do it anymore. And so I put my foot down. And I ended the friendship.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And I remember it was so terrifying for me. And I didn't do a good job. I didn't even tell them really that it was ending. It was a mess, right? But I felt so much better. I had no regrets at all. I was like, oh my God, this feels amazing. That sort of made me realize in that moment, I was like, huh, that feels good. Like my life feels better. Okay. But I still didn't really connect the dots.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I look back at many high-pressure moments in my young adult life fondly because even though they were absolutely horrifying in the moment, uncomfortable, scary, honestly, even at times miserable, I came out the other side a better person, a more flexible person, a more confident person. It's almost like we're rocks. And the more good pressure we have on us,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I didn't look at the pressure I was putting on myself to sort of be friends with everybody and maintain friendships and be a people pleaser. I wasn't necessarily connecting that pressure that I was putting on myself with the feeling of relief that I got from not being friends with those friends anymore. Like I think at the time it felt like more of an isolated incident.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Like, oh, those friends in particular were not good for me. And so not being friends with them anymore feels really good. rather than like this larger issue. You know, the larger issue being there's a lot of people in my life that I shouldn't be friends with. There's a lot of people that I'm giving my time and attention to that I shouldn't be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I'm putting all this pressure on myself to be available to everybody, to be friends with everybody, to please everybody. And it's exhausting for me and it's horrible for me. You know what I'm saying? I didn't necessarily realize the bigger picture yet. And I didn't until recently.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
You know, I can't tell you how many friendships I've gone through in my life that I've had to ultimately end because they've had a net negative impact on me and I like ultimately had to end it. But I also can't tell you how hard it's been every single time. But every single time got me a little bit closer to realizing, wait a minute. How am I even getting into these friendships?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
You know what I'm saying? Like, why does this keep happening? Well, it kept happening because I felt this pressure to be friends with everybody. I felt this pressure to be close with everybody, to respond to everybody. And that was leading to me developing friendships that I probably shouldn't have developed. I did not critically think when I got into the friendship. Do you see what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
So, you know, this applied to friendship, but it also applied to even just like acquaintances, people maybe that I had budding friendships with. And I cannot tell you how exhausting this was for me. It was so exhausting. Constantly feeling like, oh my God, I have to respond. And sometimes like somebody inviting me to something and me being like, oh my God, like... I don't want to go to this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And the pressure came in when it was time to perform in front of judges and a bunch of family and friends and competitors. And at times, even in arena filled with people, That was really challenging for me. Luckily, when I first started, obviously I was a beginner and it just wasn't that competitive.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I'm exhausted. I don't want to do this. Or like, I don't want to be friends with this person. Like, we don't click. I don't like their company. I'm sorry. That's just the way that it is. But feeling like, oh my God, I have to respond. This constant feeling of that was so heavy. It was so much pressure. The pressure of people pleasing was... So exhausting to me for so many years.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And now I have a very, very small, close-knit group of friends. I'm not in any codependent friendships. I'm not in any friendships that haven't been deeply thought about. But in addition to that, I'm also not available over text all the time. I used to be constantly available over text. The second somebody would text me, I was responding.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And now sometimes I won't respond to somebody for six months. Because I just don't have it in me. And guess what? Sorry, that's the way it is. That's just the way it is. We're not supposed to be available all the time. That's a pressure that we put on ourselves, but I also think it's put on us societally to constantly be available. And I've talked about that before on the podcast.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I'm sorry, that is unrealistic and it's ridiculous. If I text somebody and they don't respond to me, guess what? That's totally fine. I'm not a priority for them and I shouldn't be. I shouldn't be because there are very few people in my life that are a priority. That's all I have time for. A handful of people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And if I text somebody and they don't respond to me, that just means that I'm not in their little group of priorities. And they'll get back to me eventually. Or maybe they fucking won't. And guess what? That's fine. It's fine. We can't all be available to each other all the time, 100%. It is anxiety-inducing. It's psychologically painful to spread yourself that thin across that many people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And you know what? If I see that person... out that I haven't responded to in a while. And they bring it up. I'm like, I'm so sorry. I'm literally, I, I cannot go on my phone and I cannot respond to texts right now. Like, I don't know why it's just, it's exhausting for me emotionally. I'm, I'm don't take it personal. Like you're awesome. It has nothing to do with you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I just am not in a place where I'm able to like be on text. I just can't do it. And guess what? Some people are like, that's a pretentious answer. Or like, well, nobody says that to my face. But like some of you might be thinking to yourself, well, that's ridiculous. Like we're all on our phones all the time. We all have, yeah, but I don't have the energy to respond all the time. And that's true.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I sometimes don't have energy to respond and that's okay. And so I tell people that, and if they have a fucking problem with it, I don't care because this is for my own wellbeing. I also experienced for many years the pressure from myself, self-inflicted. Well, actually, maybe it's not just self-inflicted. It is also sort of like the situation that I'm in as a public figure.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
But for many years, I really struggled with this pressure from myself and from the internet to be morally perfect, to always say the right thing, to always do the right thing. It's tough, right? Because, you know, do I think that the internet, and when I say the internet, I mean like the collective audience on the internet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
But over the course of five years, it got very competitive and even more stressful and even more high pressure. And I mean, listen, it's a cheer competition. A lot of people would look at that situation and say, that's not a high pressure situation. But everything is relative. And at the time, it felt like my entire world.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Do I think that the internet should shut their mouths and not say anything if somebody that they're a fan of does something that they don't agree with? No. I think people should speak their mind. Say what you think. You know what I mean? Somebody who's putting themselves out on the internet knows what they're getting themselves into.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
If they as a public figure don't want their actions to be judged, then they probably shouldn't be on the internet. So I can't say that the pressure from the internet is the internet's fault because I put myself in the position to experience that pressure. But also, in addition to that pressure from the internet, for many years, I was experiencing pressure from myself. I don't ever want to mess up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I don't want to ever slip up. I want to be morally perfect all the time and say everything perfect and do everything perfect. but also be funny and have personality and be a little bit edgy, but not too edgy. Be like the perfect amount of edgy, because if I'm too edgy, then I'll get canceled because I said something that was wrong.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Even if I didn't mean it like that or wait, but I, or I did mean it like that actually, but it was wrong. And now I regret it. Now everybody's saying that I'm this or I'm that, but I didn't mean it like that. And then, oh my God, now I'm getting canceled for this other thing that I actually fully didn't mean. What has happened? It was constant fear and overwhelm.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And again, I'm not saying this to be the victim. I'm not the victim. I put myself in this situation and it's uncomfortable, but it's also the way that it is. Fair enough. I'm just sharing my experience. I was putting this immense pressure on myself to never fuck up again in the public eye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And to be honest, like I have, like, of course I fucked up in the public eye, but a lot of times in the public eye, when I've been canceled, if you will, canceled, a large portion of the instances were complete accidents or things being taken out of context. Okay. That is my experience, right? Is that to say that like down the line, I won't say something fucked up and be called out for it?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
No, that could happen tomorrow. And I'll, I'm ready to apologize and learn from it and grow from it. Okay. Amen. But, you know, I've experienced in the past many times where I've gotten in trouble, but I actually didn't do anything morally wrong. And there's something about that that fucked with me. It fucked with me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Like, you know, being judged based on something that either I completely didn't mean or didn't understand or like something was taken out of context. And again, I didn't mean it or it wasn't meant in the way that it was, whatever. And those specific instances have traumatized me. The instances where people have been like, Emma, you can't say that. That's disrespectful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And I've been like, oh, fuck. Okay, sorry. That's one thing, right? That's one thing because I said something. Somebody said, you shouldn't have said that. And I said, that's valid. And I'm sorry. That's not really traumatic for me. The instances where something I didn't necessarily do, but then I got in trouble for it, that fucks with me. That fucked with me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And that's what created this sort of irrational pressure on myself to be morally perfect all the time. But it was like this sort of insatiable desire to be perfect because there's no such thing as being so perfect. Number one, there's no such thing as perfection, but there's no way to be so perfect that people can't even take things out of context that you do. Like that's impossible.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
There's also no way to be so perfect that somebody can't just come up with a lie or a rumor about you. It's impossible. So I was like putting this impossible pressure on myself to be as morally perfect as possible, but it was like, I couldn't even live up to that level of perfection because number one, it didn't exist.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
The pressure was at times almost unbearable, especially towards the end when I started to get more competitive and started going to bigger competitions. You can imagine what would make this so stressful, right? Like I'm in front of a bunch of people. So I'm performing in front of a bunch of people. That's number one. Number two, I want to win. It was what we were working towards.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
But number two, what I was afraid of and what I was trying to avoid couldn't even be prevented by any level of perfection. It was a nightmare. Okay. I've talked about this before. So if this story sounds familiar, it's because it is. I've talked about this before, but this is another example of me putting pressure on myself that was ultimately harming me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I was putting myself in this high pressure situation. Listen, being a public figure on the internet is inevitably a high pressure situation for a lot of reasons. But I was making it even more high pressure and it didn't need to be. And so more recently, I sort of had this like mental breakdown once again, because that's what pressure seems to do to me when it's the wrong kind.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And I was like, I am dealing with all these weird side effects from this pressure. You know, I talked about in the past how I used to re-record my podcast intro. I still do it sometimes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
But it used to be worse where I would rerecord my podcast intro like 5,000 times trying to get it perfect because I was dealing with this like weird OCD almost where I kept recording the intro and then being like, oh, that one wasn't right. That wasn't right. That wasn't right. And then I'd delete it and then I'd start again and then delete and start again and then delete and start again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I'm still like working through these like weird behaviors that have come as a result of this pressure. But it's getting better. It's getting much better. And it's a relief to be aware that this pressure is unnecessary. It's not benefiting me. It's not making me a better person. and I need to let it go.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And I've been really working on that for months and months now, coming to accept that I'm on the internet. I'm a public figure. I choose to do this. So guess what? If I get canceled, if like whatever, it is what it is. I'm not going to be perfect. And people aren't always going to like me on the internet. I might get canceled again. This all could happen. This all probably will happen.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
This is part of being on the internet and there's nothing I can do to prevent it. And the best thing I can do is just be the best person that I can be. And if I fuck up, I apologize because I genuinely will mean it. You know what I mean? That's what we do as human beings. We make mistakes, we get confronted and we apologize. That is a normal part of life. To avoid that is to not exist.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And that's what happened to me for many years. I didn't exist. I was too afraid to do anything. I didn't want to post on YouTube. I didn't want to post on the internet. I didn't want to do anything. I couldn't do anything. I literally had a complete mental block and I'm still dealing with it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I'm still dealing with it, but I'm coming out the other end after months and months and months of really working on it and being hyper aware of the problem. But it's tough, you know? But I realized that that pressure I was putting on myself was destroying my quality of life, making it not fun for me to do what I once loved, which was, you know, making shit for the internet in one way or another.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Okay. And it made it not fun because I was so obsessive about being perfect all the time in a, in a weird way. It wasn't even like perfect in like a, I need to look gorgeous. I need to look pretty way. It was perfect in like a, I don't want to say anything that could ever offend anyone or ever be taken out of context. And I completely lost my sparkle as a result. Um,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
It was why we practiced multiple times a week. It meant something to us. And, you know, it was a team sport. we all had to pull our weight and perform properly, you know, in order to have the best performance possible and hopefully win the competition. But if one person even messes up, we could lose.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And ironically, I think it made people hate me more. So anyway, isn't that just funny? Anyway, here's the moral of the story. I wish that I had paid attention to the pressures I put on myself sooner because I was so aware of the pressures I was putting on myself that I thought were ultimately making me a better person. And I think a lot of them were.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
But I was completely neglecting the pressures that were damaging me, that were making my quality of life worse. A lot of times we have to discover things as life unfolds. And that's what happened in this case. But now I know like, oh, I need to be checking in on all the areas of my life that I'm feeling pressure and decide if it's actually helping me grow into the diamond that I want to be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Take this home with you. Ask yourself when you're under immense pressure and it's uncomfortable and it is challenging to deal with, ask yourself, is this pressure turning me into a diamond or is this pressure just causing me to crumble into dust? If I had asked myself that sooner, I think I would have been able to focus my energy towards finding a solution sooner to a lot of these things.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And I only mentioned like three real examples here of areas where, you know, I was putting the wrong kinds of pressure on myself and I realized it and I fixed it, you know, or I'm working on fixing it. This is just the beginning. You know, I'm already starting to uncover other areas of my life where I'm like, wait a minute. Again, that's the wrong kind of pressure. This is not good for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
You know, this is not healthy for me. The main reason why I wanted to talk about this is because I wanted to plant a seed in your head if this is something that you haven't really thought about because it can be so life-changing and it has been for me. Taking these bad types of pressure off of myself, literally, my life is so much better. I'm so much happier. I'm so much more productive.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
My quality of life is so much better. I'm like, what the fuck? It's incredible. I wish I could have figured it out sooner because I bet I'd be in a very different place in my life and career. Like, who knows? I mean, I would be unstoppable. I would have saved myself years of agony, but unfortunately we can't go back. But we can move forward. And my God, are we. We are moving forward.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Pay attention to the pressure. And yeah, I think that's it. I think that's it. Well, you all, it was delightful as always. I feel like this whole episode, I was like talking like a professor. Sometimes I do that. And it's not like me being fake. Like, that's just like who I am sometimes. And I just realized that I just did it for like an hour where I was really like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Because sometimes it would come down to one small mistake that one person made, and that would be what lowered us to second place, lowered us to third place. One small mistake could impact the way that we were scored. And it felt like the world was on my shoulders. It felt like the world was on all of our shoulders. And it was so uncomfortable. And to be honest, I fucking hated it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Well, well, perhaps it is like that. I sounded a little bit like that for like the last hour. You know what I mean? And it's not going to be everyone's cup of tea. But you know what? That's how the that's that is the nature of posting onto the Internet. I was just talking in sort of an annoying way for the last hour, and we'll see what people think of it. That is how this works.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Anyway, as always, it was a pleasure. New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday if you want to tune in and hang out. I don't always talk like a professor. That was just today. So, you know, go check out other episodes where I talk maybe a bit less like a professor. That might be of interest to you. See, there I go again. That might be of interest to you. Very professor speak.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I didn't even go to college. Where is this coming from? Anyway, new episodes every Thursday and Sunday. Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes. You can stream Anything Goes anywhere you stream podcasts. But if you want to watch a video and see me talk, that is on Spotify and YouTube.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I'm on social media at Emma Chamberlain and check out my coffee company at chamberlaincoffee.com or at Chamberlain Coffee or at stores near you perhaps if you have like a Whole Foods or a Target or a Sprouts near you or at our cafe in Los Angeles. Check out Chamberlain Coffee if you like coffee and matcha and things of that sort. and that's all I have. Thank you all for listening and hanging out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I love you all. I appreciate you all. It's always a joy and a pleasure to talk to you, especially because there's no pressure to talk to you. I'm prerecorded for like a month, so I'm just, you know, I'm talking to you right now from a month ahead, and there's something really beautiful about that. All right, I love you all. I'll talk to you later, and take the pressure off, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
But only the bad kinds. Keep some good pressure on. That's good. Okay, bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
It was horrible. I remember being backstage at competitions. Literally, like... The nervous sweat smell that was wafting from my armpits was unlike anything. It doesn't even smell human. It smelled like some sort of like gasoline mixed with like, I don't know, like a new strain of onion that like had never been like a new GMO genetically modified onion. Right. Like it was this insane smell.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
putrid, nuclear, radioactive smell on like anything. You know, my knees would be weak. I would have like have knots in my stomach, butterflies in my stomach. Butterflies isn't even enough. I had like fucking pterodactyls in my stomach. You physically and psychologically, but I had to go out there and perform and perform well. And for the most part I did.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I mean, listen, I made a few mistakes over the course of my cheerleading career, but you know, I always did pretty well. And that challenge of being in a high pressure situation and then figuring out how how to manage it and go on stage and perform.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And then ultimately at the other side of that performance, feeling so proud of myself and proud of my team and just so fulfilled by it because I had conquered something that was challenging. That experience did so much for me. It taught me how to soothe myself in moments of immense pressure. Like I had to teach myself, you know, I had to learn to take deep breaths.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I had to learn talking to people really helps me like trying to take my mind off things by talking to people instead of, you know, going inward and being really quiet, trying to be silly with people, hang out with people. That really helped me. Letting myself go into autopilot when I was on stage and just enjoy the experience. That really helped me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And accepting the fact that I might fail and I just am going to have to accept that and I just need to go out there and do the best I can. Like all of these micro lessons, if you will, had such a significant impact on me for the rest of my life. And to be honest, you know, I quit competitive cheerleading when I was 15. I never even got that good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And honestly, I am so relieved that I don't experience that level of pressure anymore. Like, I'm so happy. I have no interest in ever putting myself in a position where I'm under that much pressure on a consistent basis because we competed, you know, almost year round, really. I mean, I guess there was a competition season.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
But still, for at least half the year we were competing on a monthly basis, sometimes a biweekly basis, that was a lot of pressure all the time. And I have no interest in doing that again. However, however... what I learned from that was invaluable. I also, around a similar time, put a lot of pressure on myself to do well at school.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Now, this is a little bit different than the pressure that I experienced from cheerleading because I feel like the pressure I experienced from cheerleading, I put myself into that environment. Whereas at school, it's not necessarily a high-pressure environment. Depending on who you are As a student, it may or may not be high pressure. For me, it was because I decided that it was.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
the more that we develop into a diamond. Diamonds form when carbon atoms bond together under intense heat and pressure deep within the earth. Imagine that we are carbon atoms and imagine positive, healthy forms of pressure in our lives turn us into diamonds. Isn't that just a beautiful metaphor? Enjoy that metaphor. Take that with you. Good pressure can be really good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Teachers weren't putting pressure on me. My fellow students weren't putting pressure on me. I was putting pressure on myself. And to be honest, it was a little bit miserable. I had a terrible work-life balance. I barely slept my entire high school career. I barely slept. I slept like four hours a night. It was horrible. And I drank a lot of coffee, which is kind of beautiful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
That was when I really fell in love with coffee. But it was a bit extreme. I think I probably took the pressure a bit too far. But I still think that I learned a lot from it. I even learned that that was too much pressure and that I need to lessen it up a little bit and find kind of a happy medium where I'm not completely slacking in my life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I don't want that to be my work ethic, but also that level of pressure on myself is too much and actually... It was, you know, pushing me to perform at a high level, but my actual quality of life was horrible and that's not good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
So I sort of learned from that what my strengths are when it comes to my work ethic, what my weaknesses are, and that I need to find sort of a healthy balance that allows me to also have a good quality of life. Not only did it help me develop my work ethic, but it also helped me build confidence, which I don't think I mentioned about cheerleading.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Both of these examples helped me gain so much confidence. Putting yourself in a high pressure situation and then coming out the other side help you build confidence, as long as they're the right kinds of pressure. And those two examples are great ones. More recently, I have participated in some public speaking over the last three, four years.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And it's funny because when I was younger, I loved public speaking. Like to me, public speaking was not high pressure. It was chill. I was not afraid of it. It was actually really fun for me. Like when it was my turn to present in front of class or even like in front of the school, I was like so stoked and so excited and so cocky. Like I had so much confidence.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Not about all things, let's be clear, but about public speaking for sure. And I don't know, I like unfortunately developed a fear. And over the last few years, I've sort of forced myself to public speak anyway, when the opportunity is inspiring to me. And I know that it's going to ultimately be satisfying for me to do it. And I'll learn something from it. And that I have. That I have.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Every time I public speak beforehand, I want, sorry, trigger warning. I want to die. I want to die. I'm not kidding. Like it literally makes me feel like my world is crumbling around me. Before I go on stage, I'm like, I want to disappear. Like, I cannot handle this. I'm beside myself. I'm shaking. I feel like, you know, a knot in my stomach.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I convince myself that I'm going to say something weird. I convince myself that I'm going to forget how to speak. Which, like, literally has only happened to me one time. I remember one time—sorry, brief side note— One time I was in a meeting with like three people. Okay. It was like a super intimate meeting. It was like low pressure. And I started to get a panic attack randomly out of nowhere.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And I actually wasn't really getting panic attacks very often at that time in my life. And I wasn't even really sure what they felt like yet. So I was very jarred by this panic attack because I was like, why do I feel like I can't breathe? And why do I feel like I can't think? And
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Anyway, I was in this meeting having this panic attack and one of the guys in the meeting asked me a question and I kept trying to talk and I was like stuttering. Like I couldn't get words out. Oh, it messed with me and it continues to mess with me ever since. I've never recovered. Like every time I'm about to public speak, I think about that one time that I actually couldn't speak.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Bad pressure, on the other hand, a type of pressure that I think we all tend to pay less attention to can be detrimental. And instead of turning us into a diamond, can cause us to crumble. This is something that I realized recently. I knew that I was under good types of pressure. I was aware of the benefits of pressure.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
It was really weird, but I think it's just one of those weird things that happens to you when you have a panic attack, like weird shit happens when you have a panic attack. Anyways, but the confidence and the fulfillment that I experienced after facing that fear, going on stage, performing well or to the best of my ability, giving a good speech or whatever, It's incredible. And you know what?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
It does get easier every time. I am actually learning how to better public speak. All of these things are good. Long-term, they lead to beautiful things. Confidence, character development, the list goes on. For a long time, I perceived pressure as being a good thing for the most part. I was like, most people probably need to put more pressure on themselves rather than remove some pressure.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
That was always sort of how I saw pressure. I've noticed over the course of my life that I do have a tendency to put a bit too much pressure on myself, but it's always ended up resolving itself in a way that was ultimately positive. So I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I've just never taken a look at my own life and been like, what pressures am I creating in my life that are not serving me, that are not turning me into a diamond, but are instead causing me to crumble? I've never done that. I kind of ended up alleviating pressure in my life on accident.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I realized that being under the wrong kinds of pressure was making me emotionally unstable once I had eliminated the wrong kinds of pressure in my life and then felt really good. Like that's when I realized, oh, you know what I mean? Like I realized after the fact. Okay, so let me tell you how I came to this conclusion. The most significant life change started at the beginning of this year.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
I decided I wanted to change my work strategy, literally how I work, okay? And not to break the fourth wall here, but like how I record my podcast, film YouTube videos, how I come up with photo shoot ideas, how I come up with Chamberlain coffee ideas, how I do everything in my work life. Up until recently, I had functioned very close to deadline.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Not like, you know, turning stuff in late or submitting things late, but for the most part, like being like right on time. Like, for example, with my podcast, I was recording an episode that was going to go live a week, a week and a half before it go live. Sometimes even like a few days before I would go live with a YouTube video. You know, I used to upload.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
This was a long time ago, but I used to upload on a weekly basis. Well, Instagram, more recently, I started posting little videos on Instagram. But prior to that, like I was constantly like, oh, God, I need to I need to be capturing content. I need to be capturing content to post. Now I know what you're thinking. Emma, your job sounds like a joke. I totally get that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Just humor me because it's all relative, okay? It's all relative. You know, when it came to Chamberlain Coffee stuff, it was like always down to the wire, you know? The second I had a photo shoot idea, it was like, okay, we're sending this off to the team. They're going to start developing it. It's going to happen in a month. It was always very quick turnaround, right? And that's like a summary.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
But for a long time, I was unaware of the dangers of the wrong kind of pressure. And so I wasn't really paying attention to the types of pressure that I was inflicting on myself that were damaging me. Because I want to be clear, there are pressures in our lives that are out of our control. That's not what I'm talking about today. What I'm talking about is self-inflicted pressures, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Obviously, there's exceptions. There would be moments where I'd get ahead. There'd be moments when I was extremely behind. And like, I functioned in this state for a long time. I briefly paused this episode of Anything Goes to let you know that this episode of Anything Goes is brought to you by ChatGPT. If you're a college student, ChatGPT Plus is free now through May.
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So during the worst part of the year, you can ask it to help you in unlimited ways, like getting ChatGPT to quiz you on your notes or explaining a problem in a way that works for you, maybe with extra graphs or charts. You can even ask it to help you with your meal plans and workout schedules. ChatGPT Plus is a game changer, and it's free for college students through May.
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Get it now at ChatGPT.com slash students. Restrictions apply. Now let's get back to the episode. I think that this state of working, right, where you like complete your tasks as the deadlines come up is a bit healthier when your work is not creative. Like when I was at school, when I was assigned a math assignment, I knew how much time and how much effort it would take to complete that project.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
Whereas with a creative project, it's less predictable. I don't know how much energy it's going to take to come up with an idea or to execute on an idea. I don't know how long it's going to take for inspiration to strike for a good idea. It could take an hour. It could take two weeks. It could take a month. It could take a year. I don't know when I'm going to have a good idea.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
crumbling under pressure
And the truth of the matter is like, deadlines are not going away for me, for anyone, right? I actually think deadlines are good. I don't think deadlines should go away. However, I was existing in this state where I had this constant deadline and I was trying to be creative because majority of my job is creative.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
If I had a dollar for every time I got so angry that I threw my phone at the wall and shattered it, I would have $2. And that's not a lot, okay? But it's more than you would expect. Because I'm not an angry person. I don't raise my voice at people very often. I don't break things very often. I'm pretty chill overall. And don't get me wrong, I have a lot of unfavorable traits.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
So, you know, I was really grateful for that outburst, even though I was a bit ashamed of it as well. I look back on that outburst positively. But then it happened again yesterday. I had another meltdown where I threw my phone at the wall and shattered it. So now this has happened twice in my life. Granted, four or five years apart, but it has now happened twice.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Let me tell you what happened this time, okay? This happened literally yesterday. Ironically, it has to do with recording podcasts, what I'm doing right now. So for a while now, I have developed this unusual pattern of pressing record on my recording device, on my podcast recording device, and beginning to say the intro, okay? Which my intro for my podcast varies depending on the episode.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
I don't have like a set intro like, hey, it's me, Emma, the host of Anything Goes. Welcome back. Today we're talking about this. My intro is... very spur-of-the-moment random, and it tends to just come out, okay? So, oh yeah, today I said, if I had a dollar for every time I got so angry that I threw my phone at the wall and shattered it, I would have two dollars.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
That's something that just came to my head when I started recording. So my intros are very like, they're kind of spur-of-the-moment. So I've gotten into this weird habit of pressing record, saying my intro, and then feeling like it wasn't right, pressing stop. Being like, eh, I could have said it better. Let me try again. So I'll take that same intro that I just said and I'll keep it in my brain.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Press start on the recorder. Say it again. Ah, that didn't quite feel right. Stop. Fuck, cut that again. I'll press record. Say the exact same thing, maybe slightly different. That didn't feel right. Stop. Press start again. Try again. That one wasn't right either. Stop. Press start again. I stutter this time. Stop. Start again. I stutter again. Stop. Start again. Say it right this time, but...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Instead, I'm choosing to look at these two very distinct meltdowns in my life from a positive lens. Because the truth is, even though I'm not proud of these two moments of my life, I've learned so much from them. I was shown so much from these two moments. And maybe you can learn something too.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Something still didn't feel right. Stop. Start again. Get through the intro. Get 30 seconds in this time. Okay, we're getting somewhere. Oops, I stutter. Stop it. Start again. Do the intro. Get 60 seconds in. I say something that I don't like, even though I could totally cut it out of the episode. For some reason, I need to stop. I need to stop and I need to start again. Stop. Start. Stop. Start.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Stop. Start. Over. Over. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. sometimes up to 70 times, 70 times. That is the most I've ever hit, okay? And I have struggled with this for a while, like years. And sometimes I'll go like a month without doing it. And sometimes I'll just rerecord the intro once or twice.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And then sometimes for a month straight, every single time I go to record, I have to do 40 intros and none of them feel right. And I know what you're thinking. Emma, is this the most staged podcast of all time? Like, why are you doing that? I don't fucking know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And, you know, I've talked about it with some of my loved ones, especially my loved ones who are creative and make music or make art or whatever. Hey, do you guys do this too? And a lot of people have said yes. They're like... You know, we can get obsessive about the perfection of things. And, you know, so I was like, okay, well, maybe this is just normal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And it's a part of getting into the flow state. Like, I need to get the first 60 seconds right to get into the flow state and be able to talk conversationally. It is obviously a bit weird what I'm doing, if you really think about it. I... sit for, you know, 30 minutes to an hour and 15 minutes and just talk to myself. And that's sort of a unnatural thing to do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And so is it just me overcoming an objectively weird thing to do? You But I've gotten really frustrated in the past just not being able to fucking get it right and like almost having this mental block preventing me from getting past 60 seconds. And yesterday, I sat down to record. I was feeling really good. And I did the intro probably 30 times. over and over and over and over again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And I got so fucking pissed that I threw my microphone on the ground and I said a bad word. And I was like, fuck, like what the fuck is wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with like, like genuinely, like, do I have a problem? Like what is going on? Is there something wrong with me psychologically? Like, do I need to go to the doctor? Like, I don't know. It's like that weird to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
So I threw my microphone on the floor. I did 10 more, approximately 10 more intros, failed every single one again, got pissed off again, cussed again, threw my microphone on the ground again. The microphone is very, very good quality. Apparently it did not break. And I threw that thing on the ground so fucking hard. Props to this microphone. Let's see which one I'm using.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
You guys, if you want an anger-proof microphone, get the Shure SM58. Wow, this thing can fucking hold up to podcast-induced anger, okay? I threw this thing on the floor twice. Not a scratch on the thing. I recorded a failed intro two or three more times, which at that point, it was like I was doomed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
I was never going to get it because I was in this negative cycle and I was starting to get angry in a way that I normally don't. And once you're angry, you just... I was like crying a little bit. I was like trying to... It was just a mess. It was not good. I was so upset and so confused.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And I got up and I walked into my dining room and I was kind of like just, I don't know, like circling around, pacing around, thinking and just getting all fucking riled up. And I'm crying a little bit and I'm like just... frustrated and confused and like not understanding what the issue is. And I just get so pissed that I throw my phone on the floor and it shatters and it slides across the room.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And I was like, Oh God, Emma, what the hell? Prior to that moment, I had been sort of in a weird autopilot. And then that was like, okay, we're back to reality now. My phone is shattered. I pick it up. I investigate further. Not only is my screen shattered, it doesn't work. The screen was black. I threw that thing so fucking hard that the LED screen didn't work anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Like the insides of the iPhone had shifted around. Like, I don't even know what happened, but it was not good. When they asked me at the Apple store what happened to my phone, I knew I could not tell them the truth. Like, oh, I got really upset and I threw it on the floor. Because, oh, I can explain. So I rerecord my podcast intro like 90 times.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And I hit a boiling point today where I lost my mind a little bit. And I threw my phone on my kitchen floor and it shattered. Couldn't tell them that. So I just told them that I dropped it from a very high distance. I was talking on the phone. I was, you know, on like... The fifth floor, it fell. You know, it happens. You guys, I'm such a klutz. Whoopsie. And they were like, totally.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
They could see in my puffy eyes that I was the one that threw the phone. But back to the moment when I realized I had shattered my phone, I think the first thing that came to mind for me was like, what the fuck is going on? What's wrong with me? You know, I was looking at this habit that I've developed of re-recording the intro obsessively over and over and over again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
The fact that, you know, I reached a point of anger that I had thrown my phone on the ground. Like, is there something wrong with me? And I was judging myself a little bit for all of it. I was like, why can't I just be normal? Because to an extent, you know, I have internet brain, okay? And these days, if you have any sort of psychological issue or challenge at all...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
The internet just starts diagnosing you immediately. Now, don't get me wrong. I think our awareness, our understanding, our education on all these things, it is awesome. But with all good things, there are always some negative aspects as well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Unfortunately, the conversation around mental health on the internet has gone from being educational and helpful to almost over-correcting and diagnosing everybody with something. That's been my experience.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
I've actually made an entire episode about this a few months ago, probably six months ago, maybe even a year ago, about how you open up TikTok or YouTube Shorts or Reels and you find some random person
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
putting all of the personality traits of someone who has ADHD, all of the habits of somebody who has ADHD on the screen, saying if you have these symptoms or these traits, you have ADHD and you need to go get medicated for it. And if your doctor says that you don't have, like just people just saying shit who don't know what the fuck they're talking about. These are not registered professionals.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Now, listen, I have had far more mental breakdowns than these two, but I think these two stand out in my brain because they were extreme in a way that differs from my other mental breakdowns. Like both of these two mental breakdowns, I think, were very much rock bottom for me. It was like the accumulation of 50 mental breakdowns beforehand that then led to this massive one.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
These are random motherfuckers putting shit on. They don't know what they're talking about. I mean, there's people making some insane claims being like, you know, some unexpected symptoms of PTSD. This is a random fucking like 17 year old who like has a D in math class telling you that you have undiagnosed PTSD because they have a TikTok account and they know how to use Google.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
That's what the mental health conversation has become. And it's very harmful. And I think I'm somebody who's good media literacy, right? I can tell when things are real, fake, reliable, not reliable. But even I subconsciously absorb information And it's out of my control, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
So for a period of time, I was on mental health TikTok where every other TikTok was diagnosing me with some sort of mental disorder, some sort of psychological disorder, whatever. And it's just irresponsible and it's dangerous and it's false information and it's fear-mongering and it's all these other things. But I was on that section of the internet for a while.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
It seeped into my subconscious in a way where... To me, when I analyze my own behavior, this reoccurring issue of me re-recording my intro over and over again, I can't help but diagnose myself with a slew of things, right? Now, I've never been professionally diagnosed with anything because as far as I know, I don't have anything going on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And from probably an hour to two hours after this event, I was overcome with fear and confusion around what's wrong with me. But I talked to my loved ones and they were the ones to remind me there could be something wrong, you know, something bigger going on. If that's the case, we'll figure that out. However, it's normal to have outbursts every once in a while.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Like, yeah, if you're having a major outburst every week, that's something to probably pay closer attention to or, you know, maybe treat that sort of differently. But if you're having a large outburst once every four years, it That is very different. This is a very unusual situation. Don't look at what's wrong with you. Look at what caused it. How did you get to this point? Why are you here?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And it was very hard for me to see from that lens. But once I allowed myself to look at this situation through that lens and not just immediately write it off as like me being mentally unstable or something, I it became very clear to me immediately what is going on. This sort of outburst, it was long overdue. What triggered this outburst was me re-recording my intro over and over and over again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Not just yesterday, but for years. Now, it took me a little bit to figure out, like, okay, so I'm re-recording this intro over and over again. I've never really stopped and asked myself why I'm doing that. What is the root of that weird habit? And it took me a little bit to figure out, but once it clicked, just like everything made sense.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
A few years ago, there was sort of a shift on the internet where cancel culture sort of began, okay, right? Now, listen. What I'm about to say is not me saying that I'm like a victim of cancel culture. That is not what I'm saying. But I'm just simply telling you how cancel culture on the internet has impacted my brain very, very deeply.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
cancel culture on the internet has sort of scarred me in a way. Not even necessarily through things happening to me, but seeing things happen to others. The culture on the internet has become very much of like, there is no room to make mistakes. It is very hard to gain forgiveness.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Naturally, being a public figure, you're not really considered fully human, which is completely understandable because even though I am a public figure myself, I look at other public figures and think of them as weirdly non-human. They feel like a character to me. I actually understand that subconscious sort of way of perceiving celebrities. I get it. It happens to me too.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
But because of that, we just kind of treat public figures like we say whatever the fuck we want. We'll threaten them. We'll do whatever. It doesn't matter because they're not really a real person. That's kind of how we feel. And listen, do I think that there are times when people have done some fucked up shit and maybe we don't want to want to be fans of them anymore? Yeah, for sure.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And it's not like I got skeletons in my closet. that I'm like hiding, you know, I'm not hiding anything, but I'm still sort of traumatized by cancel culture. It's just, it's terrifying. It's a terrifying time to be on the internet because if you make one little mistake, you could be crucified completely.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
where I became somebody I don't recognize. And I think that that's why they're so potent and filled with things to discuss because they were filled with, you know, months and months and months of pain in a way. They were a breaking point. So let me take you back to when I was 17 years old and I got into my first romantic relationship. It was very exciting for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Now I know what you're saying at home, Emma, like people get canceled when they do stuff that's genuinely wrong. I'd say 80% of the time, that's totally true.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
But either way, there are times when people get canceled for stuff that's either not true or, you know, maybe it wasn't their fault or, you know, maybe it's like not a great thing that they did, but it's like, you know, arguably sort of like forgivable. Like they're like, oh my God, I'm... I don't know. It's complicated.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
But either way, the existence of cancel culture has really fucked with my head. I'm very afraid of it. What I'm more afraid of than anything is an accident. Me saying something on accident and it being taken out of context and used against me. People getting their feelings hurt by me saying something or what, like, I don't want to hurt people. I don't want people to be disappointed in me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
I don't want people to have supported me and then feel like, oh my God, she does not align with my morals and values. I have regrets about supporting her. I like, this feels icky to me. Like, there's a lot of things about it that cause me a lot of stress and anxiety constantly. I want to be a good person. I want to have a net positive effect constantly. on the world.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And what I've noticed with sort of cancel culture is at times you can be blamed for doing things like that, or you can be told that you are doing things like that when maybe you didn't or it was an accident. So it's like, I'm not afraid of being canceled for genuinely doing something wrong. Listen, if I do something wrong, like genuinely wrong, I would fucking hope people would hold me accountable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Absolutely. So I'm not afraid of that as much as I'm afraid of it happening on accident. And it can, and it does. And because of that, I've developed this level of really extreme perfectionism in my life. And I've struggled with it for many years in every single category of my life. And honestly, it's a great thing in a lot of ways, and it's a horrible thing in a lot of ways, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
But I don't want to make any mistakes. But see, here's the problem. You can't control when you do something on accident. That's what makes it a fucking accident. So I have a lot of sort of anxiety and like obsessiveness around my podcast, for example, because... This is a medium where I talk for a long period of time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And the more you say, the higher the chances are that you're saying something that could be taken out of context or used against you or whatever. And I've sort of developed this irrational fear of... being wrongfully attacked, I guess.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
I think one of the ways that it's presented itself is through me re-recording the intro a hundred times, not feeling confident in it, being afraid, being afraid to keep going. I have like a mental block. It reminds me of when I was a cheerleader and I would tumble, right? Like I do round off back handspring tuck, round off back handspring layup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And when you tumble and do those flips and stuff, you can get hurt. You might run wrong when doing a round off back handspring and kind of trip a little bit and then roll your ankle. And then the next time you go to do it, three months later when you heal your ankle, you might be afraid to do it because the last time you did it, you rolled your ankle.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
That's sort of how I feel, I think, with speaking freely on the internet. I'm very afraid. And this is something that has been sort of looming in the back of my mind for a long time, something I've been struggling with for a long time. I think me getting emotional and throwing my phone on the ground and shattering it was the culmination of years and years of fear.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And I know you're thinking, oh, Emma, the whiny influencer with a fucking podcast coming on here and whining about being scared of being canceled. Shut the fuck up. I get it. I fucking get it. Listen, again, I'm not here to like, this is no pity party. I'm telling you the fucking story. This is the truth of the matter. I love this job. I'm grateful to have this job. I'm so fucking lucky.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And I do not take it for granted. But this fear of saying things to a mass of people, it's very frightening for me. It became very frightening for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And I think me throwing my phone on the ground and shattering it was actually a really crucial thing that needed to happen because I've been living in this state of trying to be perfect, trying to control every word that comes out of my mouth, trying to control every single action in my life out of fear of doing anything that could possibly be taken the wrong way. And you know what?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
It was also something that I never thought would work out for me. I was always really insecure about what I provide as a woman. Not to get so deep with it all of a sudden, but I've always been somebody who maybe was a bit more humorous. Like, I think my dominant personality trait growing up was humor and silliness, not femininity. I didn't have a super stereotypically feminine body.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
I can't fucking live like that anymore. I cannot. Because it's significantly worsening my quality of life. I need to allow myself to speak freely and just exist like a normal human being and make mistakes if I make mistakes and allow things to be taken the wrong way if they are taken the wrong way. And just fucking apologize and learn from it if that's what happened. It's not that big of a deal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And it's freeing. Like I woke up today feeling so much better because I hit my boiling point. I threw my phone. I broke the screen. I realized, all right, something's really got to change. And I don't know if I would have ever gained the strength to be like, you know what? I can't control everything. Not everything's going to be perfect. I can't make sure everything's perfect all the time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Like, I just have to let go. I truly believe that. I think my mental breakdown was my subconscious screaming, Emma, you cannot live like this anymore. This episode is not me just being like, you guys, I'm not afraid of, I'm an influencer who's not afraid of cancel culture. I'm going to say whatever I want. Like, it's not about that. Nothing will even change probably from your perspective.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
It's not like, oh, now all of a sudden I'm going to speak freely. It's like, no, I was speaking freely before just with like crippling anxiety attached and it took me fucking 30 tries to get there, to get the courage to just talk. It's all internal. And so the point of this episode is not about cancel culture. It's not about getting out of a shitty relationship.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
It's about the importance of the occasional meltdown. I've realized my most severe meltdowns are like my subconscious saying, pay attention. There's something deeply, deeply wrong. And the two examples today were the two times that I threw my phone at the wall and chattered it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
But there's been other times in my life where I've had really severe meltdowns that looked a little bit different than these two. But when I look at those two, listen, if I told a story about every single meltdown I've ever had, we would be here all day, baby. And we don't have time for that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
OK, so that's why I just use the two about me throwing the phone to just fucking narrow it down somehow, because there's been a lot of them. But the truth is, every meltdown I've had has forced me to take a look at fundamental issues in my life. These meltdowns have given me wake-up calls that I don't know if I could have had otherwise.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And my point of all this is, again, we should not be ashamed of our occasional meltdown. As much as, you know, the internet and society has come a long way when it comes to mental health awareness and education and all of these things, there is still this weird pressure to, like, keep it together.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
I still feel it because if you read the comments under a video of somebody talking about their mental breakdown, it's not going to be all positive, supportive comments. You're going to see comments like, why are you talking about this? This is too personal. You should go see a psychologist. You're clearly very mentally ill. You're a full-grown adult. Like, you shouldn't be crying like a baby.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Like, you're still going to see negative comments. Now, whether or not those are valid or rooted in, like, constructive criticism or not, like, okay, whatever. But there is still this sort of pressure to like keep your shit together or like have a graceful meltdown where you're like beautifully crying in your bed and the light is shining beautifully through the window under your tear.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Like, no, we can feel ashamed and frustrated by our meltdowns. But I really do believe that we should not. They're helpful messages from our souls to get spiritual with it, telling us we need to make a positive shift in our lifestyle. We need to address the stuff that we've been shoving down. We need to go get help from professionals, whatever it may be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Something needs attention immediately, and it's going to be really, really rewarding when the attention is given. Pay attention to your mental breakdown. It didn't just happen for no reason. You're not just broken and losing it. It's like, no, there's something going on that needs addressing. Let it be a moment of almost empowerment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Like, wow, my subconscious was like, hey, you need to go get some help. You need to go figure something out. You know what I mean? It's the most human thing possible for your body to scream at you. We need to figure this out. It's no use to fight it. Like listen to your mental breakdown. You know what I mean? Listen to what it's trying to tell you. That's the moral of this episode.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
So anyway, hopefully I do not break any more iPhones for the rest of my life. Hopefully that was the last one I throw on the ground and shatter. That would be great. Can I guarantee that? No, I cannot. I might break another iPhone. And when it happens again, I'll let you know what happened and what I learned from it. That's all I have for today. Thank you all for listening.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Yeah, I just love you all and appreciate you all and am really grateful for your listening ear. And I'm happy to say that I only re-recorded the intro for this episode like once, if that. I might have even just gotten right into it. I don't remember. So I've come a long way already. I love you all. I appreciate you all. I will talk to you very soon.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
I went through puberty late, so I didn't have curves. I didn't have boobs. I didn't have butt. That came later. And so I was always very insecure about myself as a woman. And so it was a huge accomplishment for me to be accepted by a boy and not just any boy. This was a boy that I had had a crush on for a very long time. And he did not like me at first, but eventually he did.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And it will probably be about something a lot more fun than this. I mean, this was kind of dark energy, but like next episode, actually, I'm going to purposely make the next episode something just so delightfully surface level, like not like fake, but like just delightfully surface level and fun so that we can all have a little, you know, breath of fresh air. All right. I'll talk to you all soon.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And that's it. Okay, bye. Love ya.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And that's a topic for another day. But I'm not an angry person. I'm just not. I actually take pride in the fact that I'm really good at controlling my negative emotions. If I'm in a heated debate with someone, it's pretty easy for me to keep my tone at a respectable level. When someone cuts me off in traffic, I don't get road rage.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And we dated and it was this magical thing. It was like doing the impossible times too. Dating this guy that I had liked for a really long time and he disproving the idea that I was not attractive to guys because I didn't have a feminine enough personality and body and whatever. So this was really good for me in the beginning. And, you know, the relationship lasted for... About nine months.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
I won't get into the details. It had its highs. It had its lows. It was not all sunshine and rainbows, but it also wasn't all negative. There were some really great moments there. We ultimately ended up breaking up after nine months. Now, I know what you're thinking. Emma, that's a very short relationship. Yeah, no. That relationship seemed like a lifetime to me. Because everything was so new.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
When things are new, psychologically, time moves slower. And when I tell you, I thought I was going, warning, I'm about to get a big graphic here. I thought when we broke up, I was going to die. I was like, I don't know how I can survive this breakup. I don't know how I can survive this feeling. I had never felt that level of loss. I know what a lot of you are thinking.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Lucky you, you fucking bitch. Like your first breakup was like the saddest you've been. And yes, it was. And I know that that's awesome. Like that's lucky, you know, because no one died. Everyone was fucking fine. But for whatever reason, that breakup, I was beside myself because number one, they helped give me a sense of self in a weird way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
They made me feel confident in areas that I had felt insecure my entire life. So I was losing that by losing them. It was sort of reconfirming the suspicions that I had before, like that I was not, you know, a worthy girlfriend, which again, I know is toxic and blah, blah, blah, but it doesn't matter because that's what I thought at the time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Um, but also I truly loved this person and I thought that they were my soulmate and I thought I was never going to feel that way about somebody else again, because again, it was new. I had never felt that feeling before. And I know that the story that I'm telling to you right now is not unique to me. I think probably 90% of people on this planet have this exact same story.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
This is how the first love goes. Unless you marry your first love or you just don't care about dating. I don't know. But like this is a very common occurrence. The first love is always the deepest. yeah, it sucks. It sucks. Cause when you lose it, you're, you're destroyed for months and months and months. And I was.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
So after that breakup, I was just a wreck, sobbing, sobbing, not sure how I was going to survive. Literally feeling like he had died. I felt like I died. I felt like everything, it felt like death. It was very odd. And breakups after that did not feel that way. It was very weird. It But I'm saying this to portray to you how fucking heartbroken and sad I was.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
I mean, I did not stop crying for multiple, for like probably two weeks, okay? It was really fucked up. It was bad. It was really bad for me. And, you know, for three months after we broke up, I pretty much just spent that entire time in bed watching Jersey Shore and then occasionally going to a SoulCycle spin class, which honestly, I thank SoulCycle for helping me get through that breakup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Having like a workout class to go to, that was so healthy for me. Anyway, but then at a certain point, I was like, you know what? I need to try to get him back. And so I did. I started talking to him again. We started hanging out as friends again. And it was not a super healthy situation because he did not want to date me again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
You know, he was pretty clear like, yeah, you know, like I still would hook up or whatever, but I'm not committing to anyone right now. I don't want to date anyone right now. I'm not going to be exclusive with anyone right now. And that did not work for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
I was like, well, okay, I guess we just have to be friends then because I cannot emotionally hook up with you, be physical with you, knowing that you're with other people. I can't do that. I just can't psychologically do that. It's too painful for me. But then we'd end up hooking up on accident. not even on accident, but it would just happen.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
I might cuss a little bit under my breath because I'm startled, but once it's all said and done, I'm just grateful that nobody got hurt. I'm just not an angry person. I have other issues. But because I'm not an angry person, it's extra disturbing when I have some sort of angry outburst because it's so out of character. It has not happened many times.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Like we'd been, we'd dated, we liked each other like before and we had physical chemistry to an extent. So it was like very hard to not do that. Like it would just happen because we were hanging out as friends and then it would just be like, oh, maybe you could sleep over. It just was a fucking mess. So we kept hooking up with each other and then we would do that a few times.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And then I would find out that he's hooking up with somebody else too. And I'd get really upset. And then he'd be like, well, I don't know what we can do. I guess we need to stop. Then we'd stop for a little bit. And then I'd be so sad and want to get back together with him even more because it was like whatever. And then we'd hook up again on accident.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And then eventually he was like, you know what? I'm ready to be exclusive again. I was jumping for joy. Okay. Jumping for joy. I was so excited. He said it one night, like casually, randomly to me. And I was like, oh my God, I'm back. He was like, I don't want to date, but I want to be exclusive. I was like, okay, whatever the fuck that means. And then he kind of stopped talking to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Like literally the next day, he just kind of stopped talking to me. I was like, what? We were, what? We're exclusive again, I thought. What's happening? He's like not responding to my texts. He like doesn't want to hang out. I'm like, this is so odd. Like what's happening? And I was like, it's fine. So I let it go for a few days. But then I was like, this is weird. Like what is going on?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Something's off. Finally got him on the phone and I was like, what's going on? And he's like, I don't want to be exclusive. I was heartbroken. I had thought, I was like, why the fuck would you say that? You're throwing my emotions around. We go back and forth. I rip him a new one and I hang up on him. I get so fucking pissed that I hang up on him. and we don't talk again for multiple weeks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
I'm sort of in mental turmoil. I'm like, I don't know. I'm missing him so much, but I'm also so mad at him. I couldn't figure out how I felt. And up until this point, I'd never gotten angry to the point of throwing my phone or punching a wall or doing anything. I had kept it cool, but I had put myself in an incredibly emotionally turbulent situation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
On top of coming out of an emotionally turbulent situation, like I had just come out of my breakup. I was in a very vulnerable state of mind from the relationship itself, but then also from the breakup. It was like I was weak times 10. Then I put myself in like a psychological blender by trying to get back together with him when he wasn't fully sold on it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And now I hung up on him and haven't talked to him since. I'm hanging on by a thread, you know, like all of that stuff. I had kept it together. I'd cried a lot. I'd been sad. I'd, you know, but I had kept it together. Then he texts me, hey, and I'm faced with one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make in my life. And listen, I know that sounds really fucking stupid.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
But for some reason, the psychological grasp that this man had on my brain should be studied in textbooks because I was, I've never felt that way about a guy again. And for the better. He fully had his fingers in between every single fold of my fucking brain. getting rid of him was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And again, I know that sounds stupid because there are a lot of way worse psychological challenges that a human can deal with for fuck's sake. I know it sounds stupid, but this is my experience. I have to just share it with you. This is the story I'm telling today for better or for worse. And I think a lot of you can probably relate.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
There's something about romantic feelings, lust, love, all of these things that is just dangerously powerful. Anyway, he texts me, hey, and I'm faced with a very, very challenging decision. Am I going to respond to him and reopen this wound that was finally healing or am I going to ignore it and move on from him?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And so I battled this for a little bit on my own and then I started calling my loved ones. specifically my dad. And I was like, I know what I need to do. I know what the right answer is, but I don't want to do it. I want to do the wrong thing. You know, it's like having a devil and an angel on your shoulder.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
I've only gotten angry to the point of breaking things twice. And for some odd reason, both times I broke my phone. I've tried to break other things, but never successfully. And it's only when you break something successfully that you realize how angry you truly are. To throw something and it not break is to just let off some steam and then move forward.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
The devil was literally like fucking reaching its little arms down and trying to push my fingers onto my phone to respond to his texts. It was agony. I cannot express, I can't express to you. And my dad was just like, Emma, you know what to do. You know, you don't want to start this all over again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
Every time you open this wound up again, you're going to get into a weaker place and it's going to be even harder to get out. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. And I knew, I was like, Emma, like, you know what the answer is. I'm screaming. I'm crying. I'm literally on my bed, like fucking rolling around like a fucking, like I had like rabies. It was like insane. I was losing my mind.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And I got into such a fit of rage from this inner battle. It was so excruciating that I fucking threw my phone at the wall and I shattered it. When I walked over to my phone and flipped it over and saw that it was shattered, it was a wake-up call. I was like... All right, this has to end. This whole situation, me throwing the phone at the wall, this is very out of character.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
What the fuck is going on? I was so wrapped up in the minutia, the daily minutia of this relationship that I had neglected to check in on myself in my own mental stability. And now I'm here where I'm doing stuff that's out of character and reaching a breaking point. where I don't even know what to do with my emotions anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
It was pretty clear to me in that moment, whoa, like I have completely lost myself in this situation. This is way worse than I thought. This is way more unhealthy than I thought. And it's sort of in a weird way. I mean, at the time when this all happened, I was 17. I was far less self-aware and reflective as I am today. So a lot of my response to me throwing the phone was almost subconscious.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
I don't even remember coming to any like conscious conclusions about, okay, this is a sign this has gone too far. It was almost like this innate knowing like, okay, I'm not going to respond to him. This is, I just need to like let this all go. Like it's, this has just reached its boiling point and now I need to fucking take it off the gas. Like it's just, it has to stop.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And subconsciously, I think it became clear to me, if this was my soulmate, if this was who I was really supposed to be with, I don't think it would be leading me to this point. Do romantic relationships have their ups and downs and challenges? Absolutely. But would I be reaching this point? I don't think so. Without even fully analyzing the meltdown that I had at the time,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
I still gathered from that experience that something fundamental in my life needed to change. I needed to break that cycle. It was really unhealthy for the both of us, but especially for me, especially for me. And I am so grateful that I had that meltdown because if I had not, I don't know that I would have broken the cycle and I would have wasted God knows how many more years on this guy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
To throw something so hard or punch something so hard that you break it is to then have a wake-up call. You're like, holy fuck, I really, wow, I just broke something. But what I'm here to discuss today is not how mortifying it is that I have gotten angry to the point of throwing my phone at the wall and breaking it twice.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And that's what this meltdown did for me. I had to turn into a monster in order to break it. And now, hindsight being 20-20, I've taken that experience of getting to my breaking point and used it as a reminder of how hard it can be to make the right choice, but how rewarding it can be down the line. Because very quickly after I made the decision to not respond, my life improved exponentially.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
what my meltdowns have shown me
And it became very clear to me very quickly that I made the right decision. But there's so much value in making a really hard decision that is ultimately the right one because it teaches you about delayed gratification. It teaches you about why we make the hard choices sometimes to better ourselves and our lives.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
A few months ago, I got a haircut and I cut my hair really, really short, shorter than I've ever cut it before. And since then, one of my favorite topics of conversation has been my haircut. If it was up to me, every conversation would be about my haircut. I absolutely love talking about it. I love talking about how I've been styling it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
You know what I mean? But I'm, we have a different brain. Like I love analyzing things to death. She is like, she doesn't necessarily think that way. Yeah. This is just something I would have wanted to have heard when I was considering the pixie, like a true life experience. What's it really like? Let's start out with my personal feelings and experience.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I will say to start, I was kind of pussying out. Like I wasn't fully getting a pixie, right? I was doing more of like a short shag and it was sort of still a pixie, but not quite. That I think was a mistake. I should have gone full pixie because number one, I never felt fully satisfied. I was always like, oh, it's too long. It's too long. But when I was sitting in the chair,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
You know, my hair colorist was like, don't go too short because then it's like a bit more risky, you know, for bleaching. I don't know. You can like damage your hair more easily when your hair is short and you're bleaching it because you have to bleach over bleached hair. It's a complicated thing. But anyway, he was like, you know, you have more risk for breakage.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And, you know, but you can still do it if you want, but there's more risk for breakage. And then I was like, oh my God, it's going to be so short. Like, is that going to be too short? So I kept pussying out and I regret that because going really short, it's, it's, I think it's all or nothing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
If I could go back, I would have gotten a short pixie from the get-go, even though it's a bit more of a risk when, you know, cause I'm bleaching it, even though it's a bit more risk. I think if you're going to go short, Don't like go a bit longer than you want because you're too scared. Like just fucking do it. Just do it. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
It took me a few months to fully commit to the full pixie, which is what I have now. And I just wish I would have done it sooner. So that's, that's my first observation. Second observation, it is the easiest hairstyle I've ever had in my fucking life, okay? I fucking love it. It is unbelievable. It is so convenient. It's amazing, okay? Let me tell you my hair care routine right now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I wash my hair once a week. That's it. Now, I will say I have bleached hair, so I treat my hair a bit differently than if I had non-bleached hair. I'd probably have to wash it more because it would get oily quicker. But I literally wash my hair once a week. The other days, I just rinse it, get it wet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
So I have like a fresh slate for styling it, but I wash it once a week with purple shampoo and purple conditioner or whatever. I use like a hair mask that helps with like, you know, the strength, like bonding the ends. I don't know how it works. And then I use a little bit of hair oil and that's it. Every single day when I get it wet, sort of to style it, I just let it air dry.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I don't even have to fucking blow dry it. I don't use heat on it at all. In fact, if I want it to be like flat to my head and like a super flat, like whatever, I'll brush it down and then I'll put on a balaclava or a hood or something, have some sort of hood on, let it dry with the hood on. And then I have like really cute flat sort of like pixie.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
If I want it to be a bit more voluminous, I'll let it air dry free. Like just let it free. And then if it's like at most I'll put like a little bit of grooming clay in it to shape it a bit. But like I don't have to do anything, you guys. It's the ease. It's amazing. I don't do anything. And I mean I will say that it depends on your hair texture and just like –
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
If it's bleached or if it's not, like there's a lot of factors, but for whatever reason, this is the easiest hair I've ever had in my life. It's unbelievable. And so I'm having an incredible time. It dries so quickly. It's so nice. I love it. You know, there are moments when I'm a little bit self-conscious about it. Okay. Like, especially if I'm not wearing makeup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Yeah, I get a little insecure sometimes when I'm not wearing makeup and I'm out in public and like I'm running errands or something or I'm at yoga or something and I'm not wearing makeup. Like actually yoga less so, but even yoga, like I do get a little self-conscious sometimes because I do feel like, oh my God, you know, I have really short hair and I'm not wearing makeup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And, you know, I don't look the most feminine right now. Right. Like stereotypically, I do love like masculine silhouettes in clothing sometimes, you know, like that my style is not hyper feminine at all. I do tend to like lean a bit more perhaps androgynous with my style. Just that's just who I am. And it's what I've always liked.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And I've always like enjoyed fashion, not because of it's, this is about to sound so, Oh my God. I saw, I, again, I feel like I'm gonna win a Nobel peace prize for what I'm about to say. I've always liked fashion without like the, the gender association. Um, Like I just like fashion if I like it. I sometimes like hyper feminine things. I sometimes like hyper masculine things.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I sometimes like androgynous things. Like I don't like something because, oh, it makes me feel super girly. Like I guess sometimes I like that. But like my fashion preferences have almost never been based on like their gender association. And this is not because I'm trying to do that. That's just how I process fashion. It's how I've always been. So a lot of people are like, Emma's like a tomboy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Emma dresses in like masculine clothes. That's just what I, like I, it's not, it has nothing to do with gender or anything. It's just simply because that is what I like. And there, there's moments when it's like, Emma is hyper feminine, you know, miniskirt, little tight, little top. Like that's, that's a moment for me sometimes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But I also love, love, love like a big boxy fucking suit and like a big loafer and like, you know, and short hair. Like I love that shit too. So to me, gender has nothing to do with fat or is very, I can't say nothing, but it's like, it is not a huge factor in like how I judge in perceived fashion, especially now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And so all of that to say, like, sometimes I really like masculine sort of outfits, like traditionally masculine outfits. And that paired with a pixie, I'm like, oh my God, I am a girl, like I'm a girl, but I look pretty masculine, you know? And so part of me, you know, at times is like self-conscious about that in a way, because I feel like, am I misrepresenting myself in a way?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But then also too, if I'm like super comfortable, right? I'm like in my pajamas and then I'm like wearing, then I'm like, oh my God, I look horrible. I don't know. There are moments when I think about how I'm being perceived, um, And they ultimately do not dictate my decision making. They don't dictate what I wear. They don't dictate, you know, whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Now, you're probably wondering, like, Emma, why do you love talking about your haircut so much? Like, who cares? I think the reason why I love talking about it so much is because of how much of a plot twist it is, okay? When I was a kid, I absolutely hated, hated the look of short hair on women. It didn't have anything to do with like societal, you know, norms, like femininity norms.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But there are moments when I do think about it. There are moments when I am kind of self-conscious about it. And it is ultimately who I am and how I want. It's how I like to dress. It's how I like to do my hair. And when I'm fucking comfortable and whatever, like that's how I look. Who cares? You know, so I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But it is something that I think about sometimes and I am self-conscious about sometimes. On the other hand, I fucking love styling it. Okay. I think it looks sick with a hyper feminine outfit, with a more masculine, with an androgynous. It doesn't matter. I love styling the hair. My suspicion that like the pixie would be an incredible accessory was correct. Okay. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I think it elevates every single outfit. It changes the vibe of every single outfit. It is the maraschino cherry on top of the ice cream sundae that is my fucking outfit. Without that cherry, it looks mid. Okay. It looks all right. The ice cream sundae looks all right, but it looks a bit beige. You pop that little maraschino cherry on top. Boom. It looks elegant. It looks chic. It looks retro.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
It looks cute. It looks yummy. It looks delectable. Okay? Do you get what I'm saying? Say what you want. Say what you fucking want. I think it's fucking chic. And especially now. I do think the shag was a bit less chic. Like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I it took a few cuts for me to figure out what haircut suited me the best so thank you all for your patience over the last few months because yeah I didn't I don't think I got it right the first time by the way this was all my bad I was showing a reference to my hairstylist and saying let's do this and he was saying great and he would copy it exactly and the first you know
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
let's say four cuts, I was doing a bit longer, more of a shag, uh, that would then grow out into something that was a bit mullet-esque kind of maybe not mullet, not mullet. What would be the word? Um, I don't know. I don't have the word, but yeah, it, it took a sec, but I finally figured out my haircut and it's really exciting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Um, I also think that there's something weirdly empowering about taking a risk like this. Like I felt empowered by the situation, not because, and not actually not for the reasons that you would assume, right? Like I think, you know, going back to the reason why the people, the people tend to hate the pixie cut because it is sort of a, a statement. Like, I don't care what men think about me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
That's a reason why people do it. That's a reason why it might be empowering for some people. For me, it was empowering because it was scary, right? It was just simply scary. It was frightening, okay? I was afraid of getting this haircut because I was afraid of potentially being judged. I was afraid of perhaps finding myself ugly, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like looking in the mirror every day and being like, I look hideous, right? having a hard time looking at myself in the mirror. You know, I was frightened for those reasons. And you might think to yourself, those are far more shallow than the other reasons. I don't care why you think that they're shallow, okay? That's why I was frightened and being honest, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I'd love to say that they're deep and they're political and they're, oh my God, but no, they're not. I was frightened for those more surface level reasons, but that was still frightening for me. I did it and I lived to tell the tale and it ended up being rewarding because there were so many things about it that were so great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
So I think what was empowering about it was trusting my gut, doing what I wanted to do and it paying off. That was rewarding. That was empowering. And my last observation over the last few months has been, I don't think I can ever go back. I'm so much like my mom. I'm growing to be more and more like my mom in a way that is good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
My mom and I are very, very different in a lot of ways, but we actually are also the same in a lot of ways. We have a very similar, our style is weirdly melding. My style is starting to sort of I don't know, mirror my mom's. And she definitely is less into fashion than me, but she actually is a fashionable woman in her heart.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Even when she wears hokas, you know, like around, which I would never do as a fashion statement. Even when she wears hokas with cargo pants, like which again, yeah, like it's like, I still am seeing my mom in my style. It's fascinating. But anyway, my mom has had a pixie my entire life. At her longest, she's had like a shack, you know, but she's had short hair my entire life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And I think I might be the same way. Like I'm, I'm thinking about my future children and I'm like, they are going to grow up the same way I did with a mom who has short hair and they're probably going to fucking hate it just like I did. And they're going to wish that their mom had long, beautiful hair like all of the other moms at the PTA meeting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I really genuinely in my heart of hearts do not believe that that had anything to do with it. Well, maybe that was part of it. You know what? Maybe that was part of it. I just genuinely didn't like the way it looked. I think because, you know, in the early 2010s, the pixie cut that was trendy was not cute. I still don't like it. Like, it was sort of like a comb over.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But then I think my kids are going to grow up and be like, damn, my mom is cool. I have a cool mom. That's why her hair is short because she's cool and she's fashionable. And I just didn't understand her because I was fucking basic. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Me calling my kids basic. They're not even born yet. You guys are fucking basic. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Now let's discuss responses from people in real life. This is strictly in real life. No internet. That's its own category of analysis. This is strictly just interactions with people in real life. When I first started talking about cutting all my hair off, there was sort of like a 50-50 split in my life. Some people, and I'm not going to name any names here, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I'm just going to let everybody remain anonymous here. I'm not going to be like, my mom said, and then my dad said, and then my best friend said, and then, you know, no, okay? We're not getting into it. We're letting everyone remain anonymous. It was a 50-50 split. Okay. Some people were like, that's a genius idea. Like that's sick. You should absolutely do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And then there were a few people in my life who were a bit hesitant. They were like, honestly, Emma, I don't know. And I don't think that they were saying it for any sort of like mean reason. I genuinely think that they just were like, Emma, don't trigger a mental breakdown. You know what I mean? If you cut all your hair off and you hate it, you might have a mental breakdown.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And I think that there were certain people in my life who were afraid of that. I think there were also a few people in my life who were like, I don't like how a pixie cut looks. But I think for the most part, people were telling me, Emma, I don't know. I don't think you should do that. Let's not do that. Because they were afraid that I would have a mental breakdown.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And they were like, why do that to yourself? Um, so there was sort of a 50-50 split. And I would say most of the responses were pretty like neutral in a way, not neutral, but like, um, not passionate. You know what I mean? There were a few passionate responses. Some people were like, Emma, you have to do it. And some people were like, Emma, really, really, please don't do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But I would say for the most part, when I talked to people about it, it didn't evoke like extreme reactions. Most people were like, yeah, fuck yeah, do it. Who cares? Or like, I don't know. I wouldn't. But, you know, you've been growing your hair out for a while. Like, why do that? But do whatever you want. Like, for the most part, it was chill.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But after the fact, after I got it, everyone in my life loves it. every single person in my life. I'm not kidding. Okay. And they might be lying to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
They totally could be lying to me, but I don't think anyone doesn't like it in my intimate like circle or like in my, not even necessarily in my intimate circle, but like people that I see consistently have only said nice things, you know, like nobody. And I'm, I'm not an idiot. Okay. I know when somebody is like, Oh, that looks really good. And they don't mean it because people do that to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I've been falsely complimented before. You know, I know what that feels like. And I'm the first one to say like, oh, I can tell that they fucking hate it. That wouldn't stop me. But I would know that. I am 90% sure. We'll leave the 10% just in case. 90% sure that people genuinely like it. Okay. Especially like, especially in person.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
You know, like on social media is one thing, but like in person, seeing me with it in person, people have really seemed to like it. Okay. Men and women. Okay. If anything, I actually think I've gotten, you know, more compliments from, from men. Like the men in my life love this hair. Which leads me to, you know, like, are men attracted to me still? I've had no issue.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I've not noticed any change in that at all, okay? I don't very often get flirted with, to be honest. Like every once in a while, every once in a while, I'll get flirted with. You know what I'm saying? Like somebody who has no clue who I am just comes up to me and will flirt with me and I can tell that they have no clue. And obviously like I am always in a relationship. That's just Emma.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
That's just Emma style. So I, I, I've never like dated a guy or gone on a date with a guy who's come up and flirted with me because almost every single time it's ever happened, I've had a boyfriend. Um, But it's seeming to happen at the same rate, if not even like a little bit more than it used to.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
It was like a side part and like a comb over. Like, not my style. OK, it never I always felt like it wasn't flattering. I just couldn't comprehend it. And it's funny because my own mother had a pixie cut. In fact, she's had a pixie cut my entire life and I still didn't like it, although that actually might have made me hate the haircut more because.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like I think I've been flirted with probably in let's say the last like six months since I got the haircut. I've probably been flirted with in public like twice. It really doesn't happen to me a lot. I don't know why. Maybe I'm just an acquired taste. When my hair was long, when my hair was short, it does not happen a lot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
In fact, in the last few years, I've probably been flirted with in public like three times. And then in the last six months, it's happened twice that I can remember where like somebody's really made an effort with me. I'm not sensing an issue. If anything, I think that the boys are loving me more than ever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
So like with strangers, it hasn't been impacted in my personal relationship, romantic that I'm in currently, no issue. In fact, the opposite, I feel like it's actually like deeply enjoyed and actually that person was like, you should absolutely get that haircut. That's sick. And it's going to look so fucking cool. And then I got it. And then they were like, this looks great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And you look hot and gorge and like a baddie. I've only gotten positive responses. I've been getting more compliments from strangers than I've ever gotten in my life. Okay. On the hair, but also just on my style. And I think it could be sort of like a combination of things. I think it could be the hair.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I think it could also be the fact that I feel like I've really honed in on my personal style a lot recently. I do think that I'm in a really good, like exciting, inspired place with my own sense of style. Um, I'm feeling really good about it. I'm like loving it. I love what's in my closet. I love styling what's in my closet. Everything feels cohesive.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Everything matches, you know, it's sort of like, just it's like a fucking play pen in my closet for me. I just go in and I play and everything looks really good with the hair. It's just like equilibrium. It's just homeostasis. It's just, it's balance. It's happiness. It's joy. It's fulfillment. I'm loving it. I'm loving it right now. I'm really loving it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And I'm feeling fulfilled by it and happy with it. Is the hair a part of that? Yes, it is. Is it the sole reason I'm getting compliments? I don't think so. But I think it's an integral part of why I'm getting more compliments recently. Because I think it's a part of this sort of finding myself in my style. I've never gotten a lot of compliments in person. On the internet, yes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Whereas now it's funny because I feel like I'm actually getting more compliments in real life and less on the internet. Perhaps because I'm not showing as much of my outfits on the internet. I need to show more of my outfits. I feel like I've just been, oh my God, just cooking. I've been cooking.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I've been putting together such good outfits, but nobody takes a fucking photo of me in these goddamn outfits. I'm too busy living in the moment. Looking cute in the moment, okay? But anyway, I just have been getting a lot of compliments and I'm not trying to brag. I'm not trying to brag, okay? I can't help it. I'm just telling you what I've observed. Okay, the people love me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Listen, I'm about to talk about people making fun of me soon. So just let me enjoy this moment. Let me relish. Let me relish in this. I've also been receiving compliments that are sort of praising my bravery. People being like, oh my God, your hair looks so cute. Like, I wish I could do that, but I'm too scared. Oh my God, your hair looks so cute.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But like, oof, like I would look so bad if I did that. You're so brave. A lot of that. And I think that's because a lot of people underestimate how flattering short hair actually is. People are like, oh my God, it would look so bad on me. For them, no, it wouldn't. No, it wouldn't. I don't care who you are. If you're a girl and you have short hair, yes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
You know, like when I'm not wearing makeup right now, if you're watching the video episode of this, you'll see that I'm not wearing makeup. If you're watching the video episode, I'm putting my... It looks cute, but yes, I look maybe perhaps a bit boyish stereotype. Who cares? Shut the fuck. Who cares?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
When we're like tweens, teens, we like rebelling against our parents. Any kind of authority, I was rebelling against it. And it's funny because now all of the things that my mom loved, you know, her pixie haircut, her favorite color was olive green and she loved, you know, olive green like cargo pants and, you know, like... buying an olive green purse. It's always been like her favorite color.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I encourage you, if you love short hair and you really want to get it, to get past that, to push past that. That is not a reason not to do it. I think it's worth a try because I think you'd be shocked at how flattering it is. And I think you'd be shocked at how you can pull it off. especially, especially if you love fashion, it just makes getting dwelled up even more fun, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Anyways, last but not least, my favorite interaction that I've had in person was when I was, I think I was at a store or like at a mall or something. I was somewhere in public and And a little kid walked past me. Little kids are just unhinged. A little kid walked past me and I don't think I was wearing makeup. I don't think I was wearing makeup. I don't remember.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I don't remember what I was wearing. But anyways, a little kid walked past me and like screamed. Oh my God, I feel so bad for the parent. The parent felt so bad. Luckily, I don't care. But like if I was somebody who, it could have been a catastrophe. The little kid was like, Hey, you, are you a girl or a boy to me? And I was like, I'm a girl. I'm a girl. And they were like, oh, okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I love talking about how I feel about it on a personal, deep, emotional, spiritual level. I love talking about how people are responding to it. I love talking about how scared I was and then how rewarding it was to do. I love talking about my goddamn haircut. But unfortunately, I don't get to talk about it that much because people have other interests.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And I was like, that is fucking funny. I thought it was hilarious. I will say for a second, I was like, oh God, you know, damn. But then I was like, who cares? Who cares? And it was a kid and it was like, whatever, you know, it was, so that was probably the worst thing that's happened or worst, not even worse, but like the most extreme thing that's happened.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And even that wasn't that big of a deal. But now let's discuss the responses on the internet, because I will say the responses on the internet have been the most bad. However, you know, don't let this deter you, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Because if you're somebody who's not a public figure, you're not on the internet like that, then you really have nothing to worry about because all of my IRL in real life experiences have been a delight. Even the one with the kid was funny. I laugh about it now. It's a funny story.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I think that my list of observations from my IRL experiences should motivate you to get the pixie because it's been such a beautiful experience. The internet, people think I look like Ellen DeGeneres. Yeah, I mean, I totally get it. Ellen DeGeneres has blue eyes and a blonde pixie. I look like Ellen DeGeneres if she maybe liked fashion a little bit more.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
To me, Ellen DeGeneres, I'm never seeing her in an outfit that wows me, right? And that's because I think that that's by design. I don't think Ellen's trying to impress me with her outfit, right? I've never met Ellen, so I feel like I can talk about her this way because I've never met her.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But yeah, so people are saying that I look like her, which I don't think is necessarily like, that's not inherently an insult because it is like sort of true. But I do think that people are trying to say it to me in an insulting way. And this is not me disrespecting Ellen DeGeneres. It's everyone else disrespecting me and Ellen DeGeneres.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
They're like trying to say like, oh, you look like Ellen DeGeneres in like a derogatory way, which I... That's fine. You know what? That's fine. People are also definitely questioning my sexuality and my... in my gender, people are really perplexed by it. And it's interesting because that was mostly the case in a video that I posted on my YouTube channel about getting rid of a lot of my clothes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And I showed all of the clothes that I kept after getting rid of like everything in my closet. In that video, I had my short hair at that point. And And in that video, I wasn't wearing makeup. I was like just feeling kind of raw and natural because a lot of times that's kind of my vibe on it. That's just like I don't like get all dolled up to film a YouTube video for my own channel.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
You know, like I get dolled up to go to a fashion show or to a red carpet or or maybe get dolled up to like go to a wedding or, you know, to go out to dinner or to go on a date or something, not even necessarily on a date. Because I only go on dates when I'm like dating a guy, really. At least that's the only, and at that point I'm like, you know I don't wear makeup, babe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Now it's one of my favorite colors. It's somehow involved in almost every outfit. Anyway, it's funny. I've come full circle and now I love all of the things that my mom loves. But anyway, I was rebelling against her probably as a teen tween and it probably didn't help with how I felt about the pixie haircut. But anyway, I absolutely fucking hated it. I thought it was hideous.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
We're doing a little bit of lip liner, max. You're stuck with me now. I'm not fucking putting makeup on for you. I'm doing my skincare routine before we go out to dinner. So that after dinner I can brush my teeth and go straight to bed. Okay? You know the drill. Anyways, but sometimes I like to, you know, do a little makeup. Anyway, I wasn't wearing makeup in this video.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And so, yeah, like I maybe looked a bit less feminine in the video. And there were a lot of comments I noticed just being like, number one, like saying I looked bad, looked ugly, which is mean. But more interestingly, you know, just really questioning my sexuality and my gender and all these things, which is fine. Like, I don't care. but that's not the most comfortable thing to deal with.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And I mean, I can't even complain about it because there are so many people on this planet who deal with that on a far more extreme, far more challenging scale. So I'm very aware of that. However, it's not fun. It isn't fun. It was kind of like, really? me not wearing makeup, having my hair undone and short or whatever is fully making you question, you know, things about me that you already know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like it's fast. It's just fascinating to me. Like everyone knows my sexuality. Everybody knows my, or not everybody, but like my audience, you know, for the most part, maybe it's not my audience making these comments anyway, but I just found it interesting that it felt like there were certain people who were like, wait a minute. I thought you were a straight woman. I am.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
People are like, she has to be at least bi. And it's like, you guys, number one, who cares? Actually, who cares? But number two, nothing has changed just because I got a haircut. I got a haircut. Everybody expresses themselves differently and it doesn't necessarily reflect those things. I briefly mentioned this earlier, but people really think I'm kind of ugly when I'm not wearing makeup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like people are really like, whoa, Emma, you have never looked worse. You look hideous. You look like an old woman. Like lots of mean comments, lots of insults about my appearance, which I've gotten before. Like I've had phases in my career of being a public figure where people have been like, someone's looking ugly. Someone's looking a bit chubby. Someone's looking a little too thin.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Somebody's looking a little bit emaciated. Somebody's look like they're dying. Someone looks like they're dying. Like I've gotten it all. It's definitely picked up. It's definitely picked up a little bit since I've cut the hair. And... You know, people don't aren't like not everyone gets it. You know, not everyone likes it. Not everyone gets it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And a lot of people are like, like, okay, Emma used to be so stylish. And then now like she fell off. Like what? Like the style is horrible. The hair is horrible. Emma fell off. But it's the irony of that is that I've never felt more like, okay, I'm figuring it out. You know, like, I've never felt more me. And I think it's hit or miss. Like, a lot of people don't like it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I think the truth of the matter is, this is not a mainstream haircut choice. I have a lot of, like, creative people in my life, a lot of artists, a lot of people who, you know, have exposed themselves to more fashion, perhaps. People who have exposed themselves to... more art in general, perhaps than the average person. There's a lot of people in my life who find this stuff interesting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And so I do think that because of that, there's more people in my life. Like I maybe have had a better experience, like a nicer response to my haircut in my personal life because I'm just, that's my environment. Those are the people in my life. And so perhaps the way the Internet has responded is the way that, you know, the average friend group would respond to somebody cutting their hair.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I couldn't understand it. Like Katy Perry had a pixie. Who else? Pink. I don't know. Like Anne Hathaway had a pixie at one point. Like there was just a lot of pixies going on and I just was always like, I don't like that. I just don't like it. I think it's not cute. And I just remember thinking to myself as a young person, like I will never do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
The average, you know, community around somebody. I'm not sure. I'm not sure if that's just the Internet or if that's actually how majority of people would respond. Right. But, you know, it doesn't really matter. Because I love this haircut so much that it is worth people on the internet not liking it, not getting it. It's worth people sort of questioning parts of my identity, perhaps.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I don't care. I have nothing to prove. You know what I mean? I don't need people to understand or even know my sexuality or my, like, it doesn't matter to me. It doesn't matter. The only time that that plays a, it's kind of like relevant is when dating. Okay. And I'm not dating, so I don't fucking care. Do you know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
If I was out and dating, if I was like, yeah, then maybe it's like, okay, well, you know, this is something that I guess is going to be more relevant in my life or whatever, but. But even then, even then you fucking like, who cares? You figure it out. You talk to people and you learn about them and you figure out if you're compatible. You know what I'm saying? Whatever, whatever. I don't care.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I don't care. Like it doesn't matter. So anywho, I love my fucking short hair. I love my pixie. I'm going to keep going shorter and fucking shorter until I have a goddamn buzz cut because I love having short hair so much. I think it is one of the best things I've ever done. I love it. I absolutely love it. And it is absolutely worth it. And I'm grateful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I'm grateful to live in a time and to live in a place where, I don't know, I can cut my hair. There's definitely, you know, some cultures and religions that don't believe in cutting hair on a woman or don't believe cutting a woman's hair. And I'm not disrespecting anyone, okay? But I'm just saying, I'm just grateful that, you know, I get to do that. If you, this is your sign. Oh my God, here I go.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
This is your fucking sign to get that pixie cut, okay? This is your fucking sign, okay? If you've been thinking like, oh my God, should I get a pixie cut? This is your fucking sign. Me right now telling you this. Anyway, that's all I have for today. My pixie cut update, if you will. That's it. That's my update. I hope that you all enjoyed this episode.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
If you did, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Listen anywhere you stream podcasts. Watch video on Spotify and YouTube. Okay? Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes. My personal social media is at Emma Chamberlain. And check out my coffee company at ChamberlainCoffee.com or at ChamberlainCoffee on social media or Sprouts, Whole Foods. Where else?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Sprouts, Whole Foods, Albertsons, Target. Go pick up Chamberlain Coffee in a store near you. Check out the store locator to see where we are close to you. And that's it. Thank you all for listening to me talk for the last, I don't know, hour. Um, it's always a pleasure. I absolutely love hanging out with you all. It is so much fun and I am just grateful for you all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I appreciate you all and I love you all and I will be talking to you pretty soon. Okay. So you won't have to miss me. All right. I'll be back. Bye. Love you all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And then, you know, interestingly enough, my taste shifted and it shifted in such an intense way. I don't think my opinion has ever shifted so strongly about anything in my life. Okay. And I've, uh, I've changed my mind about quite a few things, but this was one of the like biggest changes. I went from hatred to obsession. Like it felt like overnight. Yeah.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
suddenly I just loved the way it looked. I feel like what really happened was my sense of style just simply evolved. And the pixie haircut was one of the things that became beautiful in my eyes. And I mean, there's been so many things that over the years I've grown to really love and appreciate. Like I can give you some other examples. Um, Honestly, like flat shoes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like I used to hate flat shoes. Thought that they made the foot look too small and narrow. Anyway, I absolutely love them. Now, one of my favorite types of shoes, capris took me a while to like, and now I absolutely love a capri. You know, long skirts. I hated a long skirt for a long time. And then one day I was like, wait a minute, that's really chic. The list goes on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
There's been a lot of things that have taken me a while to fully appreciate. But just through developing my taste, I've ended up really liking them. And I think the pixie cut is a part of that. But it's almost like the pixie cut was like, it was this thing that I just never thought I'd like. So it's so shocking. over the last few years, I've scrolled on Pinterest a lot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I've seen a lot of runway shows. I've looked at a lot of fashion books. I've just exposed myself to a lot of fashion, not even necessarily more than the average, well, probably more than the average person just because it's something that I like. And yeah, so for whatever reason, I've really grown to love the pixie cut.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Some of the references that really stood out to me were number one, Audrey Hepburn. Okay. Audrey Hepburn had a cute little pixie. I feel like no one's talking about it. People are probably totally talking about it. I didn't ever remember her as being somebody who had a pixie and I'm not a big Audrey Hepburn fan, but I just didn't even know she had one.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
They don't want to talk about my haircut more than once. Sometimes they don't want to talk about my haircut at all. And that's hard for me. Today, I'm letting myself indulge. Today, I'm gonna spend probably the next hour talking about my haircut. And you know why that's appropriate? Because I just got my haircut again, and I got it cut shorter than I ever have in my entire life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And then I like noticed it and I was like, wow, it looks so good on her. It looks so natural on her. I didn't even process that it was a pixie. So that was really sort of moving. Also Twiggy, the 60s mod icon, of course. Edie Sedgwick, another one. These are like two, you know, model it girls of like the 60s. Winona Ryder in the 90s, such a good pixie cut.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
All these pixie cuts are timeless, subtle, and just so just elegantly done. Unlike the pixie of the 2010 that to me was a catastrophe. It was a catastrophe. It was like this sort of like faux punk, like neon, like pixie. It was just not cute to me. And it still isn't cute to me. Oh my God, Rihanna had a pixie too, although hers was actually one of the best of the era. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
It like felt the most timeless. It was still trendy, but it felt the most timeless. But yeah, I like just saw a lot of those girly pops on my Pinterest and eventually I just grew to love it. But I think there was also a bit of a fantasy around having the short hair because I hated styling my hair so much and I've just never been good at it. You know, some people are so good at styling their hair.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I'm just not one of those people. I knew short hair would be easier, right? Like, how hard could it be? Like, you don't need to, like, go get a blowout when you have a pixie. Like, I mean, I guess you could... But I don't know what it would even look like. So it just felt like it would be easier. And I think I had another fantasy about it being sort of like an accessory.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like it would elevate every outfit. It would make every outfit feel chicer and more interesting, more intriguing. It's like if you have a ballsy haircut, the outfit will read differently because I think a pixie cut is a bit ballsy. So like that takes an outfit that maybe to start is like a bit – it's like it's interesting. It's intriguing. It's maybe a bit outside the box.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But then if you pair it with a pixie, it's like everything feels intentional. I don't know. So that's how I felt. Those were sort of the thoughts whirling around my head as I suddenly found myself loving the pixie haircut. But then I remember seeing a video. And this is just how crazy the algorithm is today because I don't think I even Googled. Well, maybe I was looking it up on Pinterest.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
So somehow YouTube recommended to me a video and the video was titled something along the lines of why do people hate women after they cut their hair off or something of that of that is something of that nature. Let me try to find it so I can credit the woman who made it. OK, I found it. I found the video. Why do we hate women after they've cut their hair off? A video by Jordan Teresa.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
So this video pops up on my YouTube explore page. And I was like, oh, God. Oh, no. Is this a horrible idea? Like, is everyone going to hate me now? What is this? So I briefly skimmed through the video because I was like, I don't want to deter myself from getting this haircut because for some reason people hate women who have short hair, apparently. Like, I want to make my choice for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
So I'm not going to let this fuck with my head. So I briefly skimmed through it. It was basically about how the pixie haircut is sort of controversial. How a lot of, you know, pop culture figures, celebrities... have gotten their haircut into a pixie and then seemingly fallen out of favor shortly after. Whether it's related, you know, it's kind of up for debate. But that was sort of a point.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And, you know, she sort of discussed societal norms, femininity, all of this, right? It was very, very well done. So go check that out if you want. I found this video to be equally frightening because I wanted to get the haircut and interesting. And it sort of stuck with me, this idea that people don't really like women with a pixie cut. Like it kind of traumatized me, this sentiment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like, the haircut I just got is a full-on pixie, okay? It was sort of pixie-adjacent prior, but it was more of like a little short shag haircut. I have a full pixie now. Like my hair is the same length as my dad's. It's short, short. And I don't know, to me, that's like an excuse to talk about the haircut again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But I was also like, I can't let this stop me. If I want to get this haircut, I'm going to get this haircut. And I dug in deeper and to try to figure out like why people hate the pixie cut and why are people so afraid of it? Like there are so many people who are so afraid of getting a pixie cut, like people who even really love a pixie cut who are like, oh, I would never do that.
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the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like, why is it such a big deal, right? And so I did a bit more research into it And it seems like people dislike short hair on women for a few reasons. Now, this is according to the internet, okay? This is not according to me. I am simply the messenger. This is what the internet told me. Number one, it goes against the feminine beauty standard, okay? And that makes it uncomfortable to look at.
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the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I can't even blame people for that. Right. Like I can't like I felt that way probably. Although I don't know. I think I genuinely didn't like it because I thought it was unflattering for the most part. But but you know what? Who knows? I might have also not liked it because it was going against the norm. Right. I feel like that wasn't the case, but it could have been.
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the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
It probably was at least a portion of it. Right. I also read that people associate short hair on women with independent, strong women, and that this is particularly threatening to men because it's a risky choice. You know, it's definitely like going against what, you know, men stereotypically, straight men stereotypically find attractive.
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the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
So like if you get your hair cut short, you don't give a fuck about what men think about you, you know? And so it's sort of making a statement in that way. I thought that was kind of fascinating. And I was like, huh, you know, that's not where my head was at. But I was kind of like, oh, that'll be interesting to see if that ends up happening in my life.
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the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like if, you know, I'm intimidating to men, I guess. Like, okay, we'll see. Or if they don't like me or are less attracted to me because of the hair. Some people see women chopping all their hair off as a sign of mental instability, which I thought was funny because like most of us, I am mentally unstable sometimes. And I talk about my mental instability a lot on the internet.
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the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And so I was like, oh, people are probably going to think I'm having a meltdown. I do think that mental instability can lead to extreme measures. Like I've been tempted to like take extreme measures in my life when I'm mentally unstable. Like, you know, yeah, like chop my hair off or like, I don't know, like cut off everyone I know and run away.
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the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like you just, when you're mentally unstable, you, you, you can have a tendency to, to say fucking and like do something extreme. But I think when it comes to short hair, I think majority of women with a pixie cut are, just have a pixie cut because they like it. I actually don't think that that's an accurate representation of like why women get a pixie cut.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
So that's basically why people hate the pixie haircut, at least according to Google in that video I watched, right? And all of this to me was like, oh my God, everyone fucking relax.
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the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
It's like, oh my God, I just want to like chic, like I just want a chic little haircut and I want to like hop out of the shower and I want my hair to dry in like five minutes and I want it to like, you know, look cute and spiky and edgy and I want to be able to like, I don't know. Like, it just like, it sounds fun to me. It's not that deep to me.
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the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And I do think that that is sort of a modern perspective, right? I think today getting a short haircut is like no big deal. Who cares? It's not really as edgy. It's not as big of a deal as it once was. But I do think that there's some lingering tension around it, right? From the past and whatever. But I ultimately decided that I didn't care.
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the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Well, I guess I wouldn't say that I didn't care, but I ultimately decided that I was going to do it anyway because it's what I wanted to do. But I definitely was bracing myself for what might happen. Am I going to fall out of favor with people? Are boys not going to be attracted to me? Um, are, you know, people going to like find me ugly? What's going to happen?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But I, I ultimately make decisions based on what I think is going to be chic and fun. You know, like I'm the one who gets dressed every morning. I'm the one who styles my hair every day. Like, I think I'm pretty good about making fashion choices for me. And I'm also aware of like making a mistake, you know, not getting it right the first time. Like, and I was kind of okay with,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Westin Hotels and Resorts. Westin Hotels is designed with your wellbeing in mind. With more than 200 destinations around the world, Westin Hotels makes it possible to keep up with your wellness routine while traveling. With signature amenities and offerings that help you move well, eat well, and sleep well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
The fact that, you know, the haircut might not look good on me and I might have to, you know, figure that out or it might not be right the first time or whatever. Like I was ready for all of that because I was excited about my new hairstyle journey. And so I did it. I cut it off and it's been a few months. Okay. And I've had varying lengths. I've had like a shorter shag, a longer shag.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Now I have a full pixie and I've had it for long enough that I've been able to fully analyze everything. Okay. How it makes me feel, how I truly feel about it. the people in my life and, you know, people in real life, maybe people I don't even know, but like just real life responses. And then of course, online responses. And I've had enough time to fully experience the response.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And I wanted to share what I've observed with you all because I went into it definitely very frightened. And I guess I would have loved to have heard all this when I was considering the haircut. my mom has had a pixie cut her entire life, but like, she doesn't care. Like she's not analyzing. She's like, it's so not that deep for her that I like, we didn't even have this conversation.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
And every few months I get sort of a craving, a craving to just sit down and discuss some of the stuff that I like. I think I get this craving every few months because I'm constantly evolving, okay? My routine is constantly changing. My opinions are constantly changing. One day, I absolutely love something. I'm obsessed with it. And the next day, I couldn't care less about it.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
Amazon One Medical and Amazon Pharmacy remove these painful parts of getting better with things like 24-7 virtual visits and prescriptions delivered to your door. Thanks to Amazon One Medical and Amazon Pharmacy for sponsoring today's episode. Now let's get back to the episode. Um, okay, let's start with something super weird.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
saying I've never seen somebody under the age of 60 playing Yahtzee. Anytime I've ever seen this game being played, it's with people over the age of 60. I'm now realizing it's not because it's a game that is nostalgic to a certain generation and, you know, it... isn't really fun anymore.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
There's much better games to play and it's sort of, you know, lost its allure for newer generations, but it'll like, it's not something that only that generation can enjoy. Okay. I thought that that was the case. I thought it was like, oh, well, this is probably a nostalgic game that these people grew up playing, but like its value is mainly coming from nostalgia for these people. I was so wrong.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
I was so wrong. We're all judging the game Yahtzee. Okay. Yahtzee is an incredible game. Over the holidays, my family and I were obsessed with Yahtzee. In fact, I'm talking about it right now and I'm like, oh my God, I just want to play Yahtzee. I love it. Okay.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
Basically how you play is like you put five dice in a cup and you shake it and you throw it on the table and you're basically trying to roll different combinations. Like For example, three of a kind or four of a kind, which would be like three dice with the same number or four dice with the same number or like a straight, which is like one, two, three, four, five, six, right?
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
You know what I'm saying? So like you're trying to roll these different combinations and you have a little piece of paper that has all the different combinations listed and you're trying to roll as many of them as you can. hand and for each turn you get to roll three times. So you roll once and then you can pick up, let's say, two out of the five dice and re-roll those two.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
And you're trying to get a combination that you like and you get three tries per turn to do so. And it's just absolutely so fun. And it sounds stupid, but it's so fun. I'm obsessed with it. In order to roll a Yahtzee, which is one of the combinations that you can roll... you want to get five of a kind. So you want the dice to be all fives or all sixes or all ones.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
The feeling when you get a fucking Yahtzee, it's like an orgasm, okay? Have you ever had an orgasm? Okay, that's what it feels like to roll a Yahtzee. So if you want to have an orgasm outside of the bedroom, go ahead and get the game Yahtzee and start playing that with your loved ones. because it feels really good. You could even play it alone.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
It's not as fun, but you could, which is also a unique trait of the game. Anyway, you need to be playing Yahtzee. We all do. Moving on to the next game, Clue. I absolutely loved Clue as a kid, but I used to play games with my dad. My dad and I loved games. We loved board games, card games, Everything. And I was an only child of divorced parents.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
So when I was at my dad's house and we were playing games, it was just the two of us. And I always wanted to play Clue, but Clue requires three people minimum. And so over the holidays, there were, you know, lots of people around and I was able to play Clue. And wow, I really fell in love with Clue. Clue is basically a board game where it's like a murder board game.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
Basically, there's all these cards with a bunch of different characters, a bunch of different weapons, a bunch of different rooms. And you separate them all into their own piles of people, weapons, and rooms.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
Recently, I have been absolutely loving burgers, hot dogs, corn dogs, basically American meats in between American types of bread. And I know what you're thinking. Emma, aren't you a vegetarian? Yes, I am. Okay. Thankfully, food technology has gotten to a point now where you can be vegetarian and still feel like you're eating meat. Okay. Fake burger, fake hot dog.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
And then without looking, you take one person, one weapon, one room, and put it into this little folder and put it in the center of the board and hand out the rest of the cards to the players. And then the cards in the center of the board become the murder weapon. in the murder room where everything happened, right?
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
And then everybody takes turns moving around the board and going into a room and then guessing who they think did it and with what weapon in that room. This is, I don't know why I'm explaining the rules. Long story short, you're trying to figure out what's in the center of the board using process of elimination by asking people, basically trying to figure out what cards they have.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
through making suggestions. And then if they do have the card... Oh, I'm not explaining this anymore. But you get the idea. If you don't know how to play Clue, it's not that fucking hard, okay? But it's so much fun. Don't rely on me for the instructions, okay? Read the instructions in the box. But I'm absolutely loving Clue. It's so exhilarating. It's so exciting. It's...
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really challenging psychologically. I feel like I'm constantly behind and constantly overwhelmed by all the potential options. And the more you play, the better you get at strategy. And you start to figure out more and more complex ways to analyze the game that's happening and figure out what the other players are doing. And you get better at analyzing their behavior and
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
using it as evidence for yourself. It's like insane. And the more you play, the more insane it gets. And it's just so much fun. I really do love physical games. I think everybody needs to go to their local store that sells board games and pick up a few because they've definitely gone out of style. But I think it's time that they have a comeback. Okay, next. Moving on. Hot yoga. Obsessed.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
Hot yoga and hot Pilates. Yeah. I, for many years, I was going to like a hot yoga, hot Pilates class once a week. And then slowly I started going a little bit more and a little bit more. And now it's something that I do like four or five days a week because I love it so much.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
It's definitely one of the hardest workouts I've ever done, which is interesting because, you know, in theory, it's like we're not lifting heavy weights. You know, we're not doing like 30 minutes of cardio. You know, at least a third of the class is spent doing pretty subtle, gentle actions. But it is so hard. I mean, the heat itself is... really uncomfortable, right?
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
But the small sort of movements and the gentle movements when repeated over and over again, like that shit hurts, right? And there's something about sweating to that extent and doing that style of workout that just for some reason works really well for my body. I feel really good afterward, but I actually enjoy the workout too.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
The workout's really hard and it's really uncomfortable, but it's a type of hard and uncomfortable that for some reason for me psychologically I like. I, for many years, did a lot of like boot camp classes, which was like running and weights. And that was sort of my go-to workout class for many years. I liked it. And I still like it.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
Sometimes I'll still go to those classes sometimes if my body is craving it for some reason. But I found that I got really sick of that. after a few months. And, you know, I kept doing it because it made me feel good, but it was like it lost its excitement. There's something about hot yoga that just like never gets old to me.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
But also I think the emphasis on sweating and stretching also make it something that over time are making me feel better. And like healthier, which I'm not like claiming any health benefits for, you know, going to hot yoga. In fact, I actually did a lot of research when I started going a lot on whether or not it's even healthy to go four or five days a week because I was sort of concerned.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
And I did see some things that were like, it can potentially, you know, be detrimental to your electrolyte balance in your body because, you know, you're sweating a lot. And so I supplement on days that I go to hot yoga and I supplement with very like fast absorbing, well-rounded electrolytes, which helps a lot. And I drink a lot of water and I just am intuitive with my body.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
If something's feeling off, I'm like, all right, I need to either be, you know, drinking more water, supplementing with more electrolytes or whatever. But I don't know, I've been fine and I felt really good.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
The constant sweating, I'm not going to claim that it's like detoxifying me because I've heard a lot of pushback from like scientists around like what detox even means and like that the word detox is like abused in the wellness space, you know, because our bodies are constantly detoxing. Like we don't need to go sweat to detox. Like that's not how it works.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
I've heard doctors and stuff talking about that. So I won't say that I'm detoxing, but I do feel refreshed from sweating on almost a daily basis. It just makes me feel physically good. I don't know why. I also think hot yoga is becoming trendy. I'm predicting that. I've talked about that before. I think it's going to become sort of the trendy workout of the year. And I'm there.
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It feels real enough to me, okay? I don't know what's going on because I've never really been obsessed with burgers or hot dogs or corn dogs. This has never been a favorite food of mine. I've never cared about this genre of food. But for some reason recently, this is my favorite food. This is all I'm craving. This is all I want.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
I'm there and I'm into it too. So I'm fully into it. It's a cult for me. But I have a tendency to join the sort of workout class cult. Like many years ago, I was in the cycling class cult and then I was in the bootcamp class cult. I never really got into like reformer Pilates or anything. I never really liked it very much.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
I tried and I got kind of into it for a few months, but like just doesn't work for me. But this is, this is working for me and I'm loving it. Okay, moving on. The TV show, Squid Game. Now, I know what you're thinking. Emma, you're probably talking about season two because season two just came out. No, I'm talking about season one. I'm just now getting around to watching it.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
And that's something you need to know about me. I... I weirdly refuse to consume a piece of media when it's popular. It's very hard for me when something first comes out and it's hyped up and everybody's talking about it. It's hard for me to motivate to consume that media because I feel like everyone's talking about it. My opinion on it is going to be
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swayed and confused because everybody else seems to like it it's just I weirdly become disinterested in something if everybody's talking about it and everybody likes it and that's not me trying to be like a fucking pick me like well I only like listen to like an album that like one person listened to Or like, I'm only watching movies that are like indie that nobody, it's not even that.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
It's just that like, I don't even really like TV and movies to begin with. Like I've always preferred like documentary, YouTube, stuff like that. Like that's always been my preferred entertainment source. So unless something sounds like genuinely interesting to me as a person, I'm not just going to watch something because it's popular.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
However, the irony of that is that usually things are popular for a reason. And so when I eventually come around and watch them, I really like them. That's exactly what's happening right now with Squid Game. I finally got around to watching it, honestly, because someone in my life was like, can we fucking watch this so that we can watch season two and you know what's going on?
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
And I was like, I guess. So like I started watching this, not even because I wanted to, but rather to bond with a loved one, okay? Yeah. And it's such a good show. It's fucking insane. It's an insane show. You know, I don't watch a lot of TV. I'm not like a TV junkie. So I can't really speak to like shows like this in this category. I haven't seen a lot of shows like this. Like this is a very...
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sort of action, drama, thriller, crime, like everything sort of story. And it's very action-packed and it's very, there's a lot of stuff going on at once, right? And I could be totally wrong about this and I just haven't seen enough TV, but I feel like Squid Game is truly one of the most dynamic shows I've ever watched. in my entire life.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
Like, the amount of storylines that the writers have going at once in season one is unbelievable. It's mastery. Like, the fact that, like... seamlessly in a way that's easy to follow. There's like 15 storylines going on in one TV show and it all flows perfectly. And the timeline of it all makes sense. And like, it's just incredibly done.
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And again, I don't know if this is like the standard, like the industry standard and like all action drama, you know, dramatic, crazy sort of shows. Like this is how they're structured. They have like 15 storylines going at once and they all seamlessly work together. And that's the art of this genre of television, of like action and stuff. But I just, it's really crazy.
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
And the actual story itself is so interesting and smart and dystopian. I just, it's such a good show. And I know I'm so late, but I'm just here like three, four years later to say, I finally watched Squid Game and I totally get it. You guys, I'm here. And I totally get it. It's making me like get into TV. Like now I'm like, oh my God, I want... What series am I going to watch next?
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I want to eat a beautiful, beautiful veggie burger on a yummy, yummy bun. And I want it to have a bunch of mustard. And I want it to have a bunch of ketchup. And I want it to have little dill pickle spheres on my burger. I want to sink my teeth into it. That's what sounds good to me. I want to grill up a vegetarian hot dog and just squirt all the ketchup and all the mustard on it.
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Because now I'm in this routine of watching one episode every night before bed, which is sort of horrible because the show is very intense and scary. And it kind of is making me anxious every night, but all good. Um... But yeah, now I'm kind of in the routine of watching TV, which I don't think is bad because I do appreciate the art form of, you know, television and movies and stuff.
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And, you know, I always have wished that I was more into it. But I've just always been more interested in YouTube and documentary and stuff. So like fictional TV and movies... It's just never really been my thing, but I've always wanted it to be my thing because I really do appreciate the art of it.
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I just like have so often been disappointed by it or like been afraid of the commitment of sitting down for a two hour movie or starting, you know, a 12 episode series that it's sort of prevented me from getting into it. Also to the fact that it's fictional, it's not real. So I'm not learning anything from it. that's like factual, right?
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If anything, I'm learning something through metaphor or through like theme or whatever, which is valuable, but it's less promise that I'm going to learn something, which to me, I'm like, oh, is that a waste of time?
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hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
I've always had issues with fictional television and fictional movies, but Squid Game is changing that for me because I just absolutely love the show so much and can't stop watching it, even though it is really disturbing and is making me anxious when I fall asleep. It's so good. It's worth it. Okay, next, water carbonator.
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For like the last year now, I have been obsessed with drinking sparkling water with apple cider vinegar in it. In fact, that was in my last list of things that I like. That still remains, okay? I still am drinking that every single day, all the time. And it got to a point where I was going through so many cans of sparkling water.
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At a certain point, when you're consuming that much of something, you're like, this feels wasteful. I need to figure out an alternative to small little sparkling water cans because I'm going through a case of cans a week. Like, this just feels... wasteful. And so I finally decided that I would get a water carbonator. Okay. And it took weeks to figure out which one to get.
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I found this one that was really aesthetically beautiful. And I was like, Oh, maybe I'll get this one. But then I read the reviews and the reviews were sort of iffy. So then I found this other one that like was super automatic and you put water in it and like in a tank in the back of the little machine. And then you just press a button and it just spits out carbonated water.
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But then I read reviews on that one and it was like, this one's really messy. Like, you know, maybe wouldn't recommend. And then, you know, there's of course like the soda stream, the classic where it's like, like a plastic sort of cheap looking kind of bottle that you attach to
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to the thing and then you carbonate and you know, that one had pretty good reviews, but then there was another brand that was maybe a bit fancier than the SodaStream and that one had really good reviews. And so that's the one I decided on. It took me so long to pick the right one. I got the brand Drinkmate. Okay. Drinkmate water carbonator. Okay. It's not super fancy.
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Like I'm somebody who will spend a little bit more money if something looks aesthetically pleasing. But this one had the best reviews from like a actual carbonating the drink standpoint. And I bought it and I'm absolutely loving it. One of my favorite things about it is that you don't have to plug it into power. It's powered by a CO2 tank.
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So like I can store it inside of a cabinet and then just pull it out whenever I want to use it. And I don't have to plug it in or anything. It's so easy. It takes five seconds to carbonate. It's so, it's incredible. And now I'm sort of living the DIY life with two products that I constantly used to rebuy. Nut milk, because I have a nut milk maker from the brand Almond Cow.
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And now I have this water carbonator from Drinkmate. It's like just being able to make stuff you know, on your own, I think is so fun, but also like convenient because you never fully run out. Like I can make nut milk whenever I want because I always have the raw ingredients. You know what I'm saying? I can make sparkling water whenever I want. I have the CO2 tank.
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And I want to absolutely eat it. If I could have anything right now, it'd be a corn dog. You know what I'm saying? This is my favorite food right now. And it makes no sense. I don't know where it came from. It's so random and it's so out of the blue that it makes me think I'm pregnant. And I'm not. I don't, I mean... No, I'm not. I'm actually not because I'm on my period.
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I have extras if it runs out, worst case scenario. And I always have plain water. You know what I'm saying? Anyway, I actually mentioned this in my 2025 ins and outs. I was like, I think making stuff yourself is in. Anyway, and my water carbonator is just unbelievable. Moving on to another thing that I've already talked about.
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In my 2025 fashion trend predictions, I mentioned digital watches being in. I'm so into the digital watch. I've been wearing a digital watch for the last few months. And I sort of told this story in my 2025 fashion trend predictions when I predicted the digital watch. I was kind of anti the digital watch at first, right? I sort of discovered it because somebody in my life wears a digital watch.
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And at first, I was sort of repulsed by their digital watch. I was like, this is absolutely hideous and weird. And I wasn't hateful towards it on that person, right? But being somebody who loves clothing and fashion and accessories in all capacities, every time I look at something, I'm thinking about whether or not I would wear it, you know?
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And so this person in my life was wearing a digital watch. And when I first saw it, very, very quietly in my own head, in brain, I looked at the watch and said, that's the most hideous thing I've ever seen because I'm a human being and I can't control my thoughts. Okay. And if I see something and think it's absolutely hideous and weird, I will think that.
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I will not tell the person because I'm polite, but I will think it. And I did. And then I came around. eventually was like, you know what, though? I do like the idea of a digital watch because I can't easily read an analog clock. I hate setting an analog watch. It's so annoying. And it's never like perfectly exact. You know, it actually sounds like a genuinely useful thing to wear.
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And so I found one that I liked that was smaller and dainty. It's like just a rubber, you know, little Casio black watch with like a little blue border around Um, yeah, I don't even know. And I put it on and at first I was like, I don't like it. It's uncomfortable. And the person in my life who wears the watch was like, just keep wearing it and it'll get comfortable. And I was like, okay.
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So I wore it for like a week. I haven't taken it off since. And actually, do you know what? That's not true. I did take it off for one day and multiple times throughout the day, I went to go look at the time on my watch and I didn't have a watch on and I freaked out because Now the watch is on me 24 seven. I never take this little $20 watch off.
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It's unbelievable to me how much I absolutely adore this watch. And it's $20. I say that because majority of watches are very expensive and for, you know, somewhat valid reason. Um, a lot of watches are really masterfully made and very, you know, they're little pieces of art and I respect the art of the watch. But these watches are like tens of hundreds of thousands of dollars.
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And so it's just funny to me that my favorite watch I've ever owned and the watch I've worn the most in my entire life is a $20 Casio watch. And I'm not saying that to be like, oh my God, look at me with the toy. I'm just saying, it's just, it's genuinely one of the best watches I've ever had. It's the most comfortable. It's the most durable. I'm not worried about it.
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You know, every month you never know. Okay. Anything's possible. I am not pregnant because I'm fully on my period right now. So all good. I just like, I've never felt more American in my life. Anyway, this is just, it's just so weird, but I am absolutely loving, loving, loving American meat and bread combos.
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I'm not worried about damaging it because if it gets damaged, I'll buy a new one because it's $20. It doesn't matter. It's not like, oh my God, I need to go get it fixed or like whatever because, you know, it's a $40,000 watch. It's like, it's no biggie. If I can fix it, I can fix it. And if not, no stress. There's no stress around it, you know? I like the way it looks now too.
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Like I actually think it looks cool. I'm so into it. Love a digital watch. Next, I have really been obsessed with orange flavored mints for a long time. I really loved orange Tic Tacs. However, I am very picky about artificial sweeteners these days and I cannot stomach them.
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Like my stomach will have a meltdown if I consume aspartame, which is the artificial sweetener in most artificially sweetened things, Diet Coke, Tic Tacs, etc., And so I found an alternative. It's by the brand Pure Tangerine Little Mints. And they sort of remind me of the orange Tic Tacs, but they don't have aspartame. So I can pop them in my mouth all day whenever I want.
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And they never give me a stomachache. And it's incredible because I have been on a nicotine quitting journey. for a very long time now. And one of the hardest parts about quitting nicotine for me is not having something constantly in my mouth. I have a very serious oral fixation issue and I like to constantly be chewing on something or sucking on something.
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And I've been like that since I was a kid, sucking my thumb from the time I was born to age like 12 and then vaping from age like 15, 16 and onward. I chewed gum for a while and the aspartame and the gum started to really hurt my stomach. So then I started chewing aspartame-free gum, but then I started to get really severe jaw pain. Now I'm enjoying these tangerine-flavored mints, okay?
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If you're somebody who can stomach aspartame, I mean, I still wouldn't recommend it because it's, I think, a carcinogen now. Is that true? Is aspartame a carcinogen? Let's look. The IARC, no clue who that is. Who is that? I don't know. Sounds reputable though. The IARC classifies aspartame as possibly carcinogenic to humans.
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There's limited evidence for cancer in lab animals and limited evidence related to possible mechanisms for it causing cancer. Oh, okay. Interesting. But it is apparently, it looks like it's banned in Europe. I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, I'm really on those now. In fact, I go through like literally a pack a day. They come in these little tins and I literally am sucking on these all day long.
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This is just who I am, a constantly evolving person. And some people would say that this means I'm just inconsistent. It's not really a positive thing. I disagree. I think this personality trait of mine makes me interesting. The fact that every few months I have a brand new list of things that I really like, I think that makes me interesting. Without further ado, let me share this list with you.
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They're so good. Moving on. Next. I'm into cooking again. I'm back. I'm back. I always love cooking. I love cooking shows. I love cooking YouTube channels. I love cooking everything. I love looking through cookbooks. I love going to the grocery store. I love, I love, love, love
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And I honestly sometimes wonder if I'm a super taster, which is like apparently there's a certain like genetic trait that is being a super taster or like a super smeller where you can taste and smell flavors that most people can't pick up on because they're so vague. Sometimes I think I have that because I literally will take a bite of something and be like, that has rosemary in it.
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And they're like, how did you even know that? There's like one tablespoon of rosemary oil in that. And I'm like, I don't know. I just know. I could also just be sort of educated on food in that way more than the average person. But anyway, I go through phases where I cook and I'm so back. I'm so back. I was really off of it for a while. And recently I just finally got back into it.
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Okay, moving on to something a little bit less random and a little bit more rational, perhaps. Wool socks. Okay, I was fully influenced by the men in my life. Majority of the men in my life wear wool socks. Just a random coincidence. So there's two reasons why the men in my life love wool socks. Number one, comfort.
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And what I'm particularly loving is finding recipes in cookbooks. Which I haven't really done before, to be honest. I feel like majority of the recipes before now have been like either random recipes that I've come up with on my own or like random recipes I've found in YouTube videos or random recipes I've found on Pinterest. That's honestly how I used to find majority of my recipes on Pinterest.
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But what I'm really enjoying about the cookbook is the fact that these recipes are like good enough to be published in the book. Do you know what I'm saying? Like if something's being published in a book, it's probably pretty fucking good. Whereas the internet is the wild, wild west, okay? I can't tell you how many times I've copied a recipe online and it been all right, but not the best.
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There's just so many options online. If you Google homemade falafel recipe, you want to make homemade falafel and hummus. Do you know how many different falafel recipes there are on the internet? I don't know, probably 40,000, okay? how are you supposed to narrow it down?
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I mean, and sometimes they have reviews and stuff, but like, I don't know, there's just something really reassuring about the fact that a recipe is in a book. Like I just trust it. And I've had really good experiences thus far. I mean, I've only cooked a few recipes from a cookbook, but enough to know that I'm really into this sort of method. And I also think it's kind of fun to collect cookbooks.
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Like you can refer to, you know, recipes again that way. I personally love having physical books around that I can just pick up when I'm bored. So I'm into it. And if anyone wants to get me a gift, get me a vegetarian cookbook. Actually, I guess a pescatarian cookbook because I cook fish for people sometimes and for myself.
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But I still sort of consider myself to be a vegetarian because I don't think I eat fish enough. I don't know. It's really confusing for me. We don't need to use labels. Okay, moving on. Speaking of cooking, having a really fancy cooking knife is kind of a game changer. I've watched a lot of cooking shows and a lot of cooking YouTube.
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And I've seen a lot of chefs talk about, you know, the importance of like having a go-to knife. And randomly, a company actually sent me, I wish I could remember who, I literally can't. showed up in my mailbox, a beautiful Japanese cooking knife, like handcrafted, handmade in Japan, beautiful, like top notch. And I was like, this is my dream. This is my dream knife. Where did this thing come from?
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Who sent this to me? It was so random. It was so sharp and so fancy that for many months I was like, I can't use this thing. So it just sat in my drawer. And then recently when I picked up cooking again, I was like, I'm going to start using this knife. And let me tell you, it is unbelievable. The experience of using a beautiful, beautiful, fancy knife. It's the only knife I use now.
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I don't need to use any of my other knives because this knife is versatile and so sharp and so good. It just, it It does it all. I don't need any other knife, okay? If I were to like want to cut, you know, a loaf of bread or something, I'd need to get out like a large serrated knife.
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Obviously, you know, there are times when you need other types of knives, but for majority of like cutting, chopping, all this, I can just use this incredible knife. And I think it's something that we often underestimate. Like instead of buying like a beautiful large knife set with like, oh, I just farted. Can you hear it? Did you hear it? I don't know.
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They're just comfortable, which is shocking to me or was shocking to me because when I think of wool, I think of itchy and I'm very sensitive to itch. Like an itchy sweater, it's tough for me. Unfortunately, itchy sweaters are usually the cutest sweaters. But yeah, it's just, I can't do it. Like, I'm somebody, I'm very sensitive, sensorially, if that's a word.
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Anyways, instead of buying a really expensive knife set, buy one really good knife. Do you know what I mean? I don't know. I'm all about the one really good knife. Really fancy cooking knife. It's just incredible. Okay, moving on to frozen peas and carrots. Okay, let me explain. I've never had a particularly hard time eating vegetables. Like I've always pretty much liked vegetables, you know?
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And my favorite vegetable for a long time was broccoli. And so I would just add broccoli to everything. Like if I would make like a pasta dish or something, I would just like steam some broccoli and throw it in it and mix it in. Or, you know, if I needed a vegetable with my dinner or I wanted a vegetable with my dinner, I would just steam some broccoli and eat it.
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Like, broccoli was always my favorite. And recently, within the last few months, I have been virtually unable to eat broccoli. I'm slowly but surely able to eat it again, but I had a really traumatic experience where I was grooming some pre-cut broccoli because that's how particular I am about how everything is cut and cooked. I'm particular. I like things to be perfect.
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And I bought pre-cut broccoli, but I decided to groom it a bit more because, you know, when you get it pre-cut from the store, it's like pretty well done, but it's not perfect, right? And while I was cutting it, I noticed something gray and slimy in the broccoli. And I cannot say for 100% certainty, but in my mind, I'm 100% certain, so it doesn't even matter.
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It was a slug all intertwined in the pre-washed, pre-cut broccoli. If I had found that in broccoli that I bought from a farmer's market, it'd be a bummer. It would make me uncomfortable. It disgusts me. But there's something about the fact that if I was not the freak that I am and I didn't feel the need to
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clean broccoli and cut broccoli extra and get it into perfect pieces that I wouldn't have found it. And I would have potentially eaten part of a snail that was wrapped in my broccoli piece. Um, that made me, that has traumatized me. It has completely traumatized me. And what's even worse is I tried to cut it off. I don't like wasting food. Okay.
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So I tried to cut off what I thought was the piece where the snail was in and I just threw it away. And I proceeded to steam the broccoli. I took the broccoli out of the steamer. And as I'm pouring it out into a bowl, I noticed the piece that the slug was in. And you might be asking, Emma, how do you know which one it was?
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Because there was more slug that had now steamed and like expanded into, I can't, I can't, I can't. I am already a bit of a picky eater. I'm a bit particular about food. This occurrence has completely put me off broccoli. It's heartbreaking because it's my favorite. But I was so disgusted by this. And what's impressive is I actually...
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I picked out that piece that had the little slug on it or whatever, threw it out, and I proceeded to eat the rest of the broccoli after really carefully looking at the rest of the pieces. But this has traumatized me and scarred me so deeply that I've really had a hard time eating vegetables since. I'm just afraid of something hiding inside of my vegetable. I'm disgusted.
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This sort of happened to me a while ago with raspberries too, where I found like a little caterpillar inside of a raspberry. And ever since then, I cannot eat raspberries without looking inside of every single one, right? This is just who I am, okay? I don't like eating bugs and I get grossed out easily and then I just can't eat something for like months and months.
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But I know the importance of eating vegetables and I feel good when I eat vegetables and I actually enjoy vegetables, right? But because I'm so put off by them right now, I've had to get creative. And it's actually hilarious because I almost feel like I'm my own mother.
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Like, I'm very particular about how my clothes fit and how my clothes feel. And so if something's itchy, it's just not happening. So when the men in my life told me that wool socks are very comfortable, I was like, they're not itchy? And they're like, no. And I was like, well, I'll believe it when I feel it. The second reason why they love wool socks is because... They don't stink.
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You know, when like moms will sneak vegetables into their kids' food so their kids will eat vegetables by like blending it up into something or like putting it in pasta and mixing it up with sauce so that you can barely see that there's vegetables in there. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. That's literally what I have to do with myself these days.
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And so recently, my favorite go-to vegetable to just add to anything I can to get vegetables in is peas and carrots. Yep, peas and carrots. I will put steamed peas and carrots into anything. My favorite is if I'm making a pasta dish, a little bit of peas, a little bit of carrots, add it in. Honestly, delicious, by the way, like genuinely delicious. But it's just, it's like, it's so fucked up.
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I hate getting food aversions like this, but I'm slowly but surely getting back to being able to eat other vegetables too. But in the meantime, like peas and carrots have been saving my life and I literally add them to everything. Okay. Like another example would be, I like to make little egg bites. Like, you know how Starbucks has the little egg bites? Well, I like to make those too, okay?
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And I used to add broccoli into my egg bites, but no, I can't anymore. So you know what I started adding? Sounds weird, but peas and carrots. And it actually is quite good. I'm just adding it into anything that I would normally add broccoli into. And it's tasty and it's doing the trick. Next, I don't know if I've talked about this before and that's why I'm talking about it now, Period underwear.
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Okay. I'm talking about underwear with a built-in pad. I cannot express how much this has changed my life. I would say my favorite brand is the brand NYX. K-N-I-X. I can really like bleed in these underwear. Okay. And I'm good. And if I want to be super powerful and I really don't want to have to wear a tampon or anything because I am kind of off tampons recently. I'm really avoiding them.
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I'll put a pad and then wear the period underwear. There's no bleeding through. There's no way. It's impossible. I just think period underwear are absolutely incredible. It's a genius invention. and I'm on my period right now. I'm wearing the period underwear right now, and I just feel safe. I feel comfortable. I feel like everything's going to be okay.
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I feel like I'm not going to leak on my pants. I'm not frightened. I'm not scared. I feel contained, and I'm really off tampons right now. The whole concept of them, they're necessary sometimes, but I think I just read too much about them online to the point where it started to make me paranoid about them and not feel like they're the best option.
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And so I just... I'm loving the period underwear because that in a pad together, I feel like I don't even need to wear a tampon. And that's a good feeling because I don't want to wear a tampon. Obviously, sometimes I still... Well, actually, I recently bought like one of the little cups, you know, because for really heavy periods, you know, sometimes you need more than a cup in a period underwear.
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Sometimes it's really heavy. I bought one of those cups, but my period has been pretty light last few months, so I haven't needed it. But I do have the cup ready because I'm just off the tampon. I think everybody needs some good pairs of period underwear. My favorite though are the shorts. They sell like little period underwear boy shorts. They're so fucking comfortable.
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I would just wear them on a normal day when I'm not even on my period just because they're comfortable. Okay, moving on. Adding little charms to my earrings. Everyone's talking about charm necklaces. What about charm earrings? Okay. My favorite type of earring to wear is a huggy, like a little small hoop in all my, you know, miscellaneous piercings.
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You can wear wool socks for two weeks straight. And unless you have some of the most acidic, foul foot sweat, maybe even then you would be fine. But unless you have some sort of radioactive foot sweat, the wool socks never smell. Listen, okay? Like, I don't need to wear the same pair of socks over and over and over and over again. But would I like to? Sure.
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In my main hole, I like to wear a hoop, like a big hoop, right? That's my go-to. It has been for the last probably four years. But in the other holes, I like to wear little huggies, little tight to the ear, small hoops. Huggies are cute and Huggies are fun, but they are a bit boring.
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And I was recently in the market for some silver charms or white gold charms because I've noticed over the past year and a half since switching over to white gold slash silver jewelry and having that be sort of my go-to metal that there are way less cute options in white gold and silver, in my opinion, than there are in gold.
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I feel like the gold designs are often like more timeless, more dainty, more everyday. Whereas white, gold or silver jewelry is either really, really plain or like e-girl vibes or like e-boy vibes. Do we remember e-girl, e-boy? Okay, I'm talking about like a little angel or like a little cross or it's like very like... almost gothic. Like that's a lot of the stuff that you find online.
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And I was like, this is not what I want. Like I want the same sort of jewelry designs that I'm finding in gold, but I just want them in white gold or silver and I'm not finding it. So I sort of came to the conclusion that I was going to have to kind of do my own jewelry designing to find what I wanted because I wasn't finding what I wanted.
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So I decided like, I'm going to look online for some, you know, really cool, like white, gold, silver charms that I could then, you know, attach to earrings or wear on a charm necklace or like attach to things so that I could take, you know, the simple, basic white, gold, silver pieces that I'm finding and then spice them up with my own additions, right?
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Because I'm not finding stuff that has it all in one. So I found this website that was selling like every type of charm you could potentially imagine in white, gold and silver. They had white, gold and silver in all of them. And I was like, this is so fun. So I ordered a bunch in various like symbols that sort of have some sort of personal connection to my life in one way or another.
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I wasn't sure if it was going to work or if it was going to look good, but I was like, let me just try. I wanted to put it onto my huggy earrings, like the little small huggies. It's so cute and unique and it did exactly what I wanted it to do. And so, I don't know, if you have some charms hanging around, potentially attach them to your hoop earrings and create like a brand new earring out of it.
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Or if you're a white gold silver wearer and you're feeling like, wow, I am not finding things I like, this could potentially be a method for you. I'm still in the market for a really good white gold silver chain. I've ordered a few and I've hated all of them. So I don't know. Okay, next. Wearing the same outfit over and over and over again for like three weeks straight until I'm sick of it.
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I've had multiple outfits like this where I've just gotten into the routine of wearing the outfit literally over and over and over again for like three weeks. Now, the reason why I'm able to do this is because I work from home for the most part. So like I wear comfy clothes for the most part. And I actually go out and see people only a handful of times a week.
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And so I'm talking about every time I go out and leave the house and I'm, you know, dressed up, I'm wearing the same outfit. Now, the truth of the matter is like the only people I'm seeing over and over again are people that I don't care if they see me wearing the same outfit over and over again. Right. So it works out. And what I like about it is that it's sort of like a micro uniform.
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It's like a short term uniform. which I'm really enjoying because I do love the element of not having to choose. And that's something I've been struggling with for a long time is feeling like, oh my God, I feel like every day I want to have a new outfit. Every time I leave the house, I want to be in something fresh. I used to feel a lot of pressure to do that. And that just got old for me.
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And I was like, well, maybe I should have a uniform. But then that was too extreme for me because I was like, I do enjoy fashion a bit too much to have a full on uniform. You know what I'm saying? So that's not going to work. So then I ended up narrowing down my closet to something that's a bit more concise. Many people do not agree with me.
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Long story short, I was convinced, okay, wool socks seem appealing, seem pretty awesome. I'll pick up a pair. So I picked up a pair of like light to medium thickness wool socks. I'll describe them to you. They're a heather dark gray with some olive green and perhaps brown stripes. Now, this was the color scheme that I got because it was my favorite that was available.
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As I've shown my closet collection on my YouTube channel and many people were like, that is a massive closet filled with clothes. Yes, but it is far more concise and far more themed than ever before where everything sort of matches, etc. It's as close to a capsule wardrobe as I've ever been.
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Narrowing down the closet to a bunch of stuff that all kind of matches and goes together that is more timeless and buildable combined with sort of this limited uniform structure where I'll pick out one outfit that I really like and then just wear it for three or four weeks straight over and over again. It's working out really well where, you know, everything in my closet is getting its moment.
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Things are not getting neglected. I pick out an outfit that I really, really love and then I get to just enjoy it. That's not to say like I wear this exact same outfit every single time I leave the house. It's not like a structured rule. It's just something that I've recently allowed myself to do, which I didn't before.
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A good example of one, I have this like slightly cropped pair of olive green like work pants. I was wearing those with cream socks, black flats, simple black flats, black and white striped shirt, black cardigan. I've worn that a billion times. I had this other one that I wore a billion times, which was a pair of capris with a black long sleeve. Okay, stick with me here.
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A black long sleeve with a white tank top over it with a lace like half top over that. Okay, so it's like a bunch of layers. And then little white socks and little cream tabby flats and little black sunglasses and a little olive green bag. I wore that. I've worn that so many times. I'm actually still wearing that one.
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If I go out this weekend to do something interesting, I'm going to wear that outfit again. Another one I had was dark gray dress pants. I have these black tabby shoes that are leather, almost like a loafer looking thing. Anyways, and I was wearing that with just a simple black turtleneck. And if it was cold, a little black cardigan on top of that. I wear that all the time.
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That outfit really gets worn. Anyway, but it's just like these little micro uniforms. Like all of these, I've probably worn each of those ones that I just listed at least 10 times each within the last six months. And I know what you're thinking, Emma, this is normal. Like normal people wear the same outfit over and over again. Yes, however...
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this is new for me because for many years I had a fucking insane closet filled with a bunch of random shit that I had collected over the years that made no sense and had no sense of like, this is what Emma likes or this is a good building block for Emma.
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It was just a big fucking clusterfuck of God knows what that I thrifted or whatever that I thought was cute or could be something in the moment, but actually was
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not good for me at all but I just bought it anyway because I had a shopping addiction and then me feeling like oh my god every day I need to wear something new I have so many clothes like I need to constantly be wearing new things I can't re-wear outfits it's like not it's taboo like all this like even though I knew that that was stupid I still felt the pressure and
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So this is new for me, you know, it's toxic. It's also like, it's cringe. Like it's a, it's cringe for me to be like, oh my God, I'm wearing the same outfit twice. I'm like, I'm obsessed, but it's true. And so that's why I'm mentioning it. Okay. Moving on. I've put this on the list before. I'm going to put it on the list again. I love my fucking Stanley Cup.
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In fact, I have two Stanley Cups or three. I can't remember. I have three. I use all three. Okay. So let's not be like, okay, Emma, like Stanley Cup over consumer. Why do you need three? No, I use all three. No, I do. That's the thing. That's the thing. I use all three. Okay. And I absolutely love them.
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And the reason why I bring this up is because we all shit on the on the Stanley Cup culture because it's become this trend to collect every color and they've been overhyped. It's like, oh, my God, how good can a cup really be? I don't care what anyone says. I love my Stanley Cup. I don't care if they're overrated. I don't care. I love my Stanley cups. I love that. I have three of them.
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I love them as a group of three. And I love my Stanley cup. I love each one individually. Okay. I have a cream one. I have a dark blue one and I have a weird sort of ugly rose gold looking one. Okay. And pretty much at all times, the blue and the cream are in rotation. And in one, I have sparkling water and apple cider vinegar. Don't worry.
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I did extensive research about whether or not it's safe to put vinegar in a Stanley cup. It is. Okay. So don't get on me. I did hours of research on that. Uh, so that's in one Stanley cup. And then in the other Stanley cup, I have electrolytes because I do so much hot yoga these days. Okay. And then that last third Stanley cup, I know you're thinking, Emma, you don't even use that thing.
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Wool socks, if you're unfamiliar, tend to come in outdoorsy sorts of patterns. It's hard to find like a plain white pair of wool socks. In fact, I haven't looked that hard, but I haven't found a pair like that yet. So they tend to look pretty outdoorsy, which is sometimes the vibe, sometimes not. But I bought them anyway.
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You absolute consumerist pig. What are you doing with that third Stanley cup? Shut the fuck up. Shut up. Okay. I have people that come over friends, family, loved ones, and I like to fill up a Stanley cup for them. Okay. Yeah. If somebody is hanging out at my house for an extended period of time, they get to have a Stanley cup. Do they want to bring it home? Do they want to borrow it? They can.
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It's no problem. Or let's say one of my Stanley cups is in the dishwasher because I routinely clean my Stanley cups because I'm not disgusting. I can whip out the ugly sort of rose gold looking one and use that one. I don't know why I bought that one. It's a hideous color. I absolutely hate it. But it doesn't matter because it does the trick. I love the Stanley Cup.
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I'm fucking sick of people ruining a good thing. Like stop ruining the reputation of a good thing. That's what we do with everything good in society. In fact, I could make a whole episode about all the things that we've ruined by like ruining the culture around something. Like we've ruined the culture around the Stanley Cup. But I'm here to try my best to bring it back.
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So I have three more, but the last three, I'm putting a fucking disclaimer before it, okay? Because these last three things are genuinely things that I've been loving recently. However, they relate in one way or another to a brand that I work with actively right now. They did not tell me, hey, Emma, can you mention us in your podcast? No, this is not in the contract.
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This is not a part of the deal that we've sorted out, okay? This is just me genuinely talking about these things. However, I am mentioning that I'm affiliated with the brand, even though I technically don't have to because they're not sponsoring me to say these words. And trust me, I'm not trying to get into a lawsuit. So you're never gonna see me not disclosing my advertisements, okay?
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I'm very, very particular about that. But I have to say that I like these things because I genuinely do. But I'm also just lucky to be affiliated with them. And I get paid to talk about them sometimes. But right now is not one of those times. I'm not being paid a dime to talk about them. Although they probably will love me for this. And I love you guys back.
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Although one of these brands is my own brand. But so let's begin with those, with this portion of the favorites. Okay, number one, we have the black Adidas Taekwondo sneaker. These are very trendy right now. These became very trendy last year. A lot of fashion influencers were wearing these shoes.
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If you don't know what the Adidas Taekwondo looks like, it's like, honestly, it sort of looks like a samba, but it has no laces. It just has like a flat top, but it doesn't fully look like a samba. But yeah, it is pretty sporty. Anyway, I have a black pair. And I absolutely love this shoe. I love the fact that it's a slip-on.
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And for the last few months, I've been wearing them whenever they match an outfit and whenever I can sort of wear them in a boot and they won't be seen. And I've absolutely fallen in love with wool socks. And from that pair, I went and found some other different types of wool socks. My favorite right now is this super thick, sort of fluffy, soft wool sock.
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I love that it's an all black, simple, smooth shoe, but there's a little pop of white. So it like makes it a little bit more dynamic. I'm really into it. And you know, they are really popular and they're very like trendy right now, which can sometimes like when it comes to a sneaker, it can be tough because it's like, wow, does everyone have the sneaker? Yeah.
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But I don't care with this one because I genuinely love how it looks. And I feel like it's just weird and futuristic looking enough to not just feel like a sneaker. Like it feels interesting. It feels elevated. And I feel like I can wear them with a more elevated outfit, like a black skirt or like, you know, a sweater. And it doesn't feel choogy.
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Like sometimes when you're wearing like a fancy, nice outfit with a sneaker, it can feel choogy. Because it can feel like this outfit would look better with a loafer. This outfit would look better with a little ballet flat or something. This shoe to me feels elevated to a point where I can wear it with a more elevated outfit and it fits. It like feels right. I just, I love it.
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I really think it's a good shoe. That leads me to my honorable mention Adidas shoe, which is the Adidas Tokyo. Again, I'm telling you, they're not paying me to say this. I just genuinely really am enjoying these shoes. The Adidas Tokyo is an incredible shoe. It's like a very slim retrofit shoe. Again, very on trend for right now. Undeniably on trend for right now.
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You know, this sort of retro, slim sneaker in sort of retro colors. The colors I have right now, I have, you know, the like creamish bases with, there's a pair with red stripes, blue stripes, and green. I have all three because I work with the brand. So I have the shoe. I love them. I really love them. I do. They're really comfortable. And to me, they're classic.
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To me, they're classic and they're timeless. I really do believe that they're timeless because they're so simple. And I think that they're great. Anyway, those are my favorite sneakers right now. I'm kind of in a sneaker phase as of... the last few weeks. I was really into a flat, like a flat phase. Like I was wearing a lot of flats.
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But for whatever reason, for the last few weeks, I've been really drawn to a sneaker. And that's why I'm mentioning it now. Okay, moving on to clear glass coffee mugs. It's the wintertime. And you know what that means? Emma's drinking a hot coffee in the morning. Right. which is a new thing as of the last few years, because I used to only drink ice drinks, even if it was two degrees outside.
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But as I've gotten older, I've enjoyed a hot drink a bit more. And it started as something that during the wintertime I'd order at a cafe, but never make for myself at home. Now, I absolutely love making myself hot lattes. Now here's the deal though, okay?
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When I make myself a beautiful hot latte, I don't want to pour that into like a diner mug and not be able to see the beautiful layers of foam on the top and like the swirly milk in the bottom. Like I want to see that shit. And that's why I love a clear glass mug.
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Now, the reason why this is in the portion of the episode that is not sponsored but is affiliated with brands that I am affiliated with is because my brand, Chamberlain Coffee, does sell clear glass mugs. However, if you don't like my brand, don't worry. They sell them in other places as well, okay? So you can find them elsewhere.
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If you don't want the Chamberlain Coffee logo on it because you hate me, that's totally fine. It's my favorite mug. And I have other mugs that I absolutely love. I have some nostalgic mugs that I've had for many years. I have a mug that I bought from my favorite hotel in Paris. I have a mug with characters, you know, like Moomin... It's like Moominland, you know, like the little Moomins.
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that is not quite as like skin tight, maybe a bit more fashionable looking. And I've been wearing those nonstop. I have quite a few colors now. They are not remotely itchy at all. They're not itchy at all. They're soft and squishy. They feel unbelievably comfortable on the foot. And they don't stink.
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It's like a little cartoon, whatever. Okay, I used to love those books when I was a kid. I have all these mugs that I really like that have personal sentimental value to me. And yet nothing brings more joy to me than drinking my beautiful latte out of a clear mug. I want to see what's happening. I want to see how much I have left. I want to see the foam on the top. Like I want to see everything.
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I just feel that way with my coffee in general. Like I need to see it. And then last but not least, I have been really loving going online and finding things that I love that are discontinued. Scouring the internet, scouring resale websites. The reason why... I this one's in the flag section is because I work with eBay, which is my favorite place to do this.
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I found some incredible discontinued stuff on eBay. OK, that like I can't find anywhere else anymore. Because I feel like I'm at a place now where like for the most part when it comes to my closet, I am pretty solid with what I have. Like I don't necessarily desire new things. If I stumble upon something that's absolute magic, you know, and I just have to have it. It's so me. It fits perfect.
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I'm absolutely like I know I'm going to get good use out of it. I'm not like completely in a phase where I'm not buying anything. I'll buy it. But more than anything, I'm like, whoa, there are things in my closet that I love so much that if they discontinue this, like I'm going to be really bummed out because this is something I want to be able to wear for the rest of my life.
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okay so i have certain things right like i have this pair this is an example recently where i literally bought multiple pairs of these pants because they're discontinued on resale websites okay i i was literally scouring the internet and bought every pair i could find which actually found quite a few like i'll be good at least for the next 10 years when it comes to these pants and
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Now, you all are going to laugh at me, and I'm honestly mortified to even tell this story, but I'm going to tell it because I'm open with all of you. I know this is a brand that we hate, okay, for the most part. Most of us hate this brand, especially those of us who have watched the documentary Brandy Melville.
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there used to be a pair of brandy melville sweatpants they are cinched at the waist wide leg no cinch at the bottom so they're straight leg go straight all the way down they are not fleece they're not fuzzy they're like just cotton kind of heavy they're perfect i'm sorry they don't make them anymore so they're gone they don't exist anymore you can't buy them on the website anymore and
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Like I have worn the same pair of wool socks every single day for like a week and a half straight and not felt bad about it because they never stunk and they didn't even ever look dirty. And to some people that might be disgusting. I don't care. I don't care. I mean, my feet don't really stink anyway. And so with like a normal pair of cotton socks, I'll just wear them for three days straight.
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I wear these sweatpants as normal pants all the time. Listen, I'm not a fan of Brandy Melville anymore, okay? Those days are over, right? All good. However, I'm not going to lie about the fact that these are the best pants. They're my favorite pants of all time. And I wear them almost every single day. Every single day, I would say at one point, I wear those pants.
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Sometimes in the evening time, if it's a bit cold in my house, I wear them out and run errands in them. Sometimes I style them. I will style them for a more casual outfit, but they can be pulled off as pants. I adore these pants. And when they discontinued them, it was really traumatic for me. And for the last few months,
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I've been frightened, like walking around every day, afraid, like, what if I stain these? What if I rip them? What happens then? Freaking out. And lo and behold, I dug around on the internet and I found as many pairs of them as I could. And now I have a few more of them on the way. And some of you might be thinking, Emma, that's excessive. That's stupid. No, it's not. I wear them every day.
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Like I have some favorite like basic tops that are from free people. They've had those tops for the last, can I be honest? 10 years, the exact same top for 10 years. It's not going anywhere. So I'm not like loading up on that. You know what I mean? It's stuff like this. That's just random, you know? And so that's what I've been doing.
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It's like, if something works, I think it's okay to be like, okay, I'm going to find all of them on eBay and buy all of them. You know what I'm saying? Like, I think that's actually valid and not excessive. All right, that's it. That's it. Those are some of the things I've been liking recently.
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There's definitely more that I'm forgetting, but that's fine because that just means I'll have more to talk about in a few months when I do this episode again. I hope that you enjoyed this. And if you did, let me know. Somehow. I'm on social media at anything goes at Emma Chamberlain. You can find me there. If you want to hang out again, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday.
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Stream anywhere you get podcasts and stream on YouTube. Videos on Spotify and YouTube if you want to see me. And check out my coffee company if you like coffee and want to check it out. ChamberlainCoffee.com at Chamberlain Coffee on social media. I, at the beginning of this episode, Instacarted some cereal that I was craving. Wow, maybe I should give the cereal a shout out.
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Cinnamon Three Wishes cereal. Just sounds good to me. Need a little bowl of that. So I Instacarted that. I really don't know what got into me. I had to have it. It was very weird. Maybe I am pregnant. Like the hot dog and burger thing and then now I need to have this cinnamon flavored Three Wishes brand cereal. It's very random.
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Anyway, but that is outside of my doorstep right now and I need to go eat that. I just need to pour up a bowl of that. So I will talk to you all later. I love you all and appreciate you all. Thank you for showing up and wanting to hang out and listen to me talk. I really appreciate it. And I'll talk to you very soon. Okay, bye.
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I'm already somebody who pushes my socks to the limit. If I didn't have some sort of guilty conscience, I don't think I'd ever wash the wool sock because I don't think I'd have to. It's kind of a miracle. I absolutely love a wool sock. Okay, moving on to walking. randomly on the first day of this year, I decided that this year I was going to hit 10,000 steps a day.
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And I'm a little bit late to that trend, but at the same time, I don't think walking 10,000 steps a day is a trend. I actually think it's just sort of a lifestyle choice. Like I'm going to make sure I move this much per day, right? I never tried it prior because for many years I was into running and
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And so I was less focused on how many steps I got a day, and I was more focused on how far I would run per session of running, right? So on a day that I wasn't running, I didn't pay attention to how much I was walking at all because I had run the day before. And so I was just sort of measuring my cardiovascular exercise difference.
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This list of things that have truly brought me joy over the last few months. Tomorrow, I might not care about these things anymore, but we can't worry about tomorrow. No, we can't. All we have is today. Yeah, all we have is the present. And today, this list is relevant. It's powerful. This list is everything. Let's begin.
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But this sort of new goal of 10K steps a day has sort of shifted my focus from running more on to walking. And I've grown to prefer walking because I never really loved running, right? I loved the way I felt after I ran, you know, all the endorphins and stuff. But when I was actually running, I never really liked it. on a good day, it would be sort of meditative, but that's like on a good day.
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And for the most part, it was just fucking miserable. And I was really just pushing through because I knew at the end of it, I'd feel really good. And because it's sort of good for you. It's like, sometimes you, you know, you need to eat your vegetables because you know, it'll help your digestion. right? And it doesn't taste good, but it's like, I know this is good for me.
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There are times in life when we must do things that are for the sake of our health, even if they're not the most enjoyable and that's fine. But walking, I'm into it. I'm so late, but I'm so into it. Like, you know, a year and a half, two years, maybe even three years ago, it was so trendy to go on the hot girl walk
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And now I'm like, oh, well, I mean, I got it back then, but like, I'm really, it's really clicking for me now. I've always liked walking, you know, but like now that it's a goal for me every day to hit 10K steps, I'm appreciating the routine of walking in a whole new way because I'm walking more than I ever have. You know, I live in Los Angeles, okay? It's not easy to walk.
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We're not invited to walk in the city, right? It's a driving city. You have to make an effort to walk. When I visit Paris or New York, I walk all the time. I easily hit 10,000 steps a day. In Los Angeles, that doesn't happen. So I've been constantly thinking about, okay, how can I hit my 10,000 step goal? And I've found all of these delightful ways to sort of get my steps in.
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For example, every night after dinner, going on a nightly walk. I did that a lot growing up with my dad because my dad goes on a nightly walk after dinner almost every night. And so I always did that with him growing up and I still do that with him when I go and visit or when we're like on a trip together, we'll always go on a nightly walk. Whenever I'm with him, I do that.
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But when I'm alone, I don't do that. And now I'm doing that and I'm absolutely loving it. And it's starting to become a part of my Los Angeles routine. I'm taking the stairs more often. Now that I'm trying to hit a number, every time I see the stairs, I'm like, okay, this could help me get my numbers up. Let's take the stairs. And I break a little sweat and it feels really good.
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And I'm starting to notice like, wow, I'm really getting good at climbing the stairs. I have a treadmill at home and I've sort of gotten into a little mini routine of working on my little iPad while on the treadmill. I like set it up on the little platform and I walk and I work and it's incredible.
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I used to think that I had to run and like running needed to be a part of my workout routine in order for me to release endorphins and feel good. But making it a goal to, you know, walk as much as possible has actually ended up having equally as beneficial of a feeling. Yeah. for me. And I'm loving it even more than running. I'm just, I'm all about walking. I know I'm late, but I love it.
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So I had to talk about it. Moving on to retinol. What is retinol? I'm going to read the definition online because I don't want to mess it up. Retinol is a form of vitamin A that's used in skincare products and as a dietary supplement. It's used to treat acne, wrinkles, and other signs of aging. Retinol increases collagen production which can help skin look firmer and plumper.
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Retinol can help clear pores and reduce breakouts. Retinol can help reduce hyperpigmentation caused by sun damage, hormonal changes, or acne scarring. Retinol can help even out skin tone by increasing cell turnover. Retinol increases cell turnover which exfoliates the skin and allows new skin cells to grow. Retinol neutralizes free radicals in the middle layer of the skin.
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Retinol blocks inflammation pathways in the skin. Start slowly and gradually increase your use of retinol. Apply retinol at night to avoid irritation from sun exposure. Use sunscreen during the day to protect your skin. Retinol can be harsh on the skin, causing redness, scaling or flaking. Retinol can make skin dry, especially when you first start using it. That is...
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I briefly paused this episode of Anything Goes to let you know that this episode of Anything Goes is presented by Amazon. Getting sick is horrible enough. The getting better part shouldn't be horrible too. Waiting on hold for an appointment, sitting in crowded waiting rooms, standing in line at the pharmacy, that's almost as bad as the sickness itself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
the brief summary of retinol, okay? And retinol has been sort of in the zeitgeist, in the skincare zeitgeist over the last few years. I've seen a lot of dermatologists talking about it on YouTube, like making videos about it. I've seen a lot of skincare influencers talking about it. Not even like skincare influencers, but like lifestyle influencers just showing them using retinol.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
And I've been sort of curious about it. But I have really sensitive skin and I was sort of overwhelmed. Like I'm in such a good routine. I don't even know where to start when it comes to finding a retinol. But then I randomly got sent a retinol from a really reputable brand. And I was like, you know what? I'm just going to try it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
Like I've been sort of in the same skincare routine for a long time. I'm at a point now where I can be really intuitive. Like I know what products to use when depending on how my skin is feeling. And so I was like, I feel like I'm intuitive enough with my skin these days that I can integrate something new and I'll be able to tell if it's not working. Anyway, I started using it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
I'm using sort of a retinol oil and I'm having no issues, okay, at all. Like my skin is loving it. Does my skin look, you know, completely different than it did before? No, but I think my skin is reacting well to it. And I'm really making sure to like start slow, you know, not use too much product. And it's freaking working for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
And it's exciting because I really like the idea of using really good products on my skin that can potentially help keep the skin looking as good as possible without having to go in and start getting Botox and stuff. Listen, I'm not judging. I don't care. Do whatever you want. But I am going to wait for as long as I possibly can.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
can maybe even never participate in these sorts of anti-aging procedures. I don't want to do that, right? That's just not my vibe. So it's exciting to me to find something that, you know, dermatologists are like, this is a really great product and the results are really good. And it's like natural enough. I don't know. It's exciting. It's obvious. Listen, this is all obvious, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
Like, but I don't know. This is like an exciting ingredient for me. to integrate into my routine. And so far my skin has been reacting really well to it. I'll keep you updated. And hopefully I just look completely smooth as a baby in a few months after using retinol for a while. We'll see. Okay. Moving on to two sort of games. Okay. One is a board game. One is not really a board game.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
hot yoga, retinol and squid game, things i like rn [video]
I don't even know. It's a dice game. I'm obsessed with physical games. Okay? I'm really loving it. But these two in particular are my current obsessions. Number one, the dice game Yahtzee. I've heard of Yahtzee before. I've seen senior citizens playing it before. That's not me being rude or derogatory towards senior citizens. I'm just literally...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Welcome to story time. Okay. I've compiled a collection of short stories recently that I'm overjoyed to share with you because I love telling stories, but I never get to tell stories because I live a very simple life. I follow the same routine almost every single day. And so I rarely have stories to tell because my life is somewhat predictable. I
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
In the money I save on the hotel, I can spend on going out to dinner, maybe doing a little bit of shopping at the hotel gift shop. You know what I mean? This could be you if you sign up at Hotels.com. Become a member for free and save on hundreds of thousands of hotels at Hotels.com. Now, let's get back to the episode. Okay, let's move on to the next yoga story. There is a woman at my yoga class.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I think she's probably about, I don't know, maybe she's in her 70s. And she's been going to this yoga class for years. She's friends with everybody somewhat. She knows everybody. But I will say she's a little bit of a bully to some people. If you're on her good side, she loves you. She gives you a hug when she sees you. You know, she loves you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
If she doesn't like you for whatever reason, she's rolling her eyes at you for no reason. She's scoffing at you. She might even yell at you for something, okay? So that's this lady, all right? Do I think she's ultimately harmless? Yes. I don't know. I don't know. Sometimes you just don't know why people are the way that they are. Like, but she can definitely be a bully, all right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I have a friend that I see at yoga class. We chatted up every day. And the first time I really realized that this woman, we'll call her, what fake name? We'll call her, we'll call her Patty. Okay, we'll call her Patty. The first time I realized that Patty was a bit of a bully was when my friend went over. So basically, let me explain something before I go further.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
So I give my skin what it's craving with Dove's plant milk collection body washes. Made with a special plant milk blend, just one shower deeply hydrates your skin and leaves you feeling soft and glowing. My favorite scent is the oat milk and berry brulee, but they all smell incredible. Turn your next shower into the little treat your skin deserves.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
In this yoga class, you get to put your mat, your yoga mat down anywhere you want in the room, as long as there's an open space, right? So it's first come first serve. And if you want to get your spot that you really love, you got to get there early and put your mat down and claim it, right? And so one day... My friend who we're going to name Abby. Okay. So we have Patty and we have Abby.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
So Abby goes in one day and puts her mat down far in the corner, like in the back corner of the room because it's hotter back there. And I don't know. That's what she wanted that day. Patty did not like this because something that was unbeknownst to Abby was that this is Patty's spot. Patty goes there every single day and no one else is allowed to claim it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
But Patty was a bit late that day and didn't get the spot. So Abby was like, oh, I guess that's my spot then. Patty ripped Abby a new one, ripped her a new one. And ever since then has been very, very mean to Abby.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Now, if I were to psychologically analyze why Patty became mean to Abby after that interaction, I think it's because deep down Patty feels bad for yelling at Abby about taking that spot saying, this is my spot. I show up here every day. This is my spot. You need to go somewhere else. She was saying, she was like, this corner is too hot for you. You won't be able to handle it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And you're not even very good at taking this class. So you need to go closer to the door. She was like, you need to go over there because that's where people who are less experienced should go. You shouldn't be over here. Why did you think you could go over here? You haven't earned being over here. I think deep down, Patty knew that that was rude.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And so I think to try to, I don't know, like convince herself that that behavior was okay, she just started to like bully Abby all the time. Anyway, very odd behavior. So that was the first sort of instance of like, okay, this woman is very territorial over her corner in the yoga room. All right. But the other day there was an explosion, an explosion of anger.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
So I got there super early because I wanted to get my spot. All right, I have a very specific spot. I like to be right by the door, right next to the mirror. Like I have a very specific spot I like to go. And Patty was there early as well. And so we're waiting, we're waiting. And then the, like one of the people at the front desk was like, all right, you guys can go in.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And so I go in, I put my mat down and then I start chatting it up with some of the yoga people. And all of a sudden I hear shouting from the corner. And I was like, ooh. someone is in Patty's spot, I fear. And I look over and it was a man who actually had stayed after. So there was a class that was in the yoga room previous to our class.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And he just decided to stay and stretch for 30 minutes after class, which is totally allowed. And he was in Patty's spot and Patty ripped him a new one, started yelling at him. But then the guy started yelling back and they get into a verbal brawl. No fists worth of, but it was not physical, but there was yelling back and forth. Okay. And then ultimately Patty got humbled. She did.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Head to Target to buy Dove's Plant Milk Collection Body Wash before it sells out. Now, back to the episode. Let me set the scene. I believe it was a Saturday afternoon. And on the weekends, there's nothing I love more than just walking around town. So usually what I'll do is get in the car and then drive to some sort of walkable area in Los Angeles. I might go to Venice. I might go to Silver Lake.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Patty got humbled. She walked away scoffing, rolling her eyes. She was so upset. And then she was talking shit about him in the locker room. I mean, she was pissed. But I really do hope that she learned her lesson because I don't think she can treat people like that. It's very rare that somebody is really a bully in adulthood, but it's fascinating to see it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
To see her get stood up to, I was like, you know what? That's the best way to handle it because I really do think she learned her lesson. I don't think she'll be bullying people anymore, but we'll see. Her other thing that she likes to do is she likes to say that other people stink. She loves to say that people stink. She'll come out of class sometimes and in the locker room, she'll be like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
my God, like this girl stinks. Like I smelled her today. She stinks. It's like, yeah, we're in hot yoga. Leave people alone. Like every, nobody stinks that bad. Well, the whole room kind of stinks, but it's just part of it. Like you're in, we're in a 110 degree room with like 50 people. It's going to smell bad. You know, like that's a part of it. Um, I wonder what she says behind my back.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Who knows? Anyways, so that's some of my hot yoga lore. I don't know if that story was like a had to be there moment. Like maybe that just like wasn't that interesting, but whatever, too late. I already told the story. Let's move on to something absolutely disgusting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
This next story, if you are eating, I strongly suggest that you turn this episode off and you start listening again like an hour or two after your meal because this story is disgusting, okay? Happened to me this past weekend. So this past weekend, I was actually hanging out in downtown Los Angeles. Now, downtown Los Angeles, if you've never been there, is an interesting place.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
It sort of looks like New York City in the way that there's a bunch of high-rise buildings, but the energy is very different. It is far less rustling and bustling. It's not super busy, depending on where you are. I mean, it's a bit more chill. It's a bit less nice in majority of areas.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Like I think New York is for the most part a bit cleaner, maybe a bit more, I don't know, like there's a bit more going on. It has a bit more life to it. Downtown Los Angeles is a bit less awesome. But I will say it's sometimes a really fun place to hang out. Like there is some really incredible food in downtown L.A. There's some incredible shopping areas.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
There are some really cute areas that are just like fun to sit out and like hang out at. good people watching. There are some really beautiful, incredible pockets of downtown LA. A lot of really cool areas. There's different districts. There's the fabric district. There's the flower district.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
So if you wanted to go buy a bunch of fabric for a sewing project, downtown LA has the perfect spot for you. If you wanted to decorate your home with a bunch of beautiful flowers, there's an area in downtown where there's a bunch of flower shops everywhere. I'm growing to love downtown more and more, but it's definitely sometimes a bit rough. It's a bit dirty as well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
It's fun, but you got to kind of keep your eyes out. You never want to let your guard down. You want to know where you're going. You don't want to just kind of stroll around into random areas. It's good to kind of know where you're going. Anywho, so this past weekend, I had a wonderful day in downtown Los Angeles. I went to some vintage stores to look for some summer clothes potentially.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
There's like a really cute little shopping area. I wanted to walk around in like little Tokyo. There was like some really cute shopping around there. Anyway, so I had a wonderful day. I was hanging out with someone and we were walking around and it was towards the end of our adventure in downtown Los Angeles. And
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And I was talking about with the person I was with, I was like, I'm really growing to love downtown. Like it used to be so stressful for me. Like I never knew where to park and I always kind of felt stressed out. Like, am I, am I safe? Like, I don't know. I, I never knew where all the cool stores were. Like it's taken so many years living in Los Angeles to finally truly appreciate downtown LA.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I might go to downtown L.A., Anywhere where there's shops and food and coffee, I just love to walk around and window shop and get a coffee and sit outside and watch people walk by. It's my weekend routine. So it's a Saturday and I'm getting ready to go and I put all the dishes away and I cleaned up my closet. I put all my clothes away and my house was pretty much spotless when I left.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And I was talking about how great of a day I had. We had walked around a lot, like gotten a lot of steps in. I was commenting about that. Like, wow, like we walked like 10,000 steps and it didn't even feel like 10,000 steps. I feel like I walked like, 2000, but we were just having so much fun and my shoes were so comfortable. I was wearing my little Margiela tabby flats. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Now, if you don't know what a Margiela tabby flat is, imagine a little ballet flat, but in between the big toe and the second longest toe, there's a slit all the way through. There's a slit. It's not just like the illusion of a split. It's fully split all the way through the toe. And I was talking about how comfortable those shoes were.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And then I remembered how earlier in the day, a young woman came up to me and was like, hey, are those shoes comfortable? And I was like, yes, actually they are. And she was like, I don't know. Are you sure? And I was like, yes, they're comfortable. And we kind of had a back and forth about it. So then, you know, when I was walking around at the end of the day, I was recalling this story.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I was like, it's so crazy how comfortable these shoes are because nobody thinks they're comfortable. Like, remember that girl earlier? She was like doubting me so hard. like fighting me almost about these shoes. And I was like, no, they are comfortable. And then I started talking about how much I love these shoes. They're cream. They have like a cute little knot tie detail on the top.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Like I love these shoes. I wear them all the time. And I was going on and on with the person I was with talking about how much I love these shoes. And then all of a sudden I feel my foot slip a little bit. And I take a few steps forward and I was like, did I just fucking step on a banana peel? Like what? Am I playing Mario Kart? Like what the fuck is happening?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And I turn around and I look and I see a massive human, I believe it to be human, shit on the street. And I stepped in it. Yeah. Is there a chance it was dog poop from like maybe a Great Dane? Like a huge, massive, huge dog? Maybe. I think, I personally think it was human shit. It looked like human shit. And I have a really hard time with poop. Okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I, it, like, listen, of course poop is disgusting. Right? I mean, there's some people out there who like it. All right? Listen, I won't yuck your yum. Actually, I will yuck your yum because I really hate poop. All right? Like, It really bothers me like I like throw up doesn't bother me boogers. Don't really bother me It's fine.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Like if somebody like sneezes and like a big booger falls out of their nose I'm like, it's good. It's all good or like if somebody throws up in front of me that doesn't gross me out poop Really bothers me like I really am grossed out pee doesn't bother me. I don't know There's just something about poop. I almost have like a phobia of it I was with somebody else, of course, a young man, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
A young man of whom that I am close with. And I was like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, what am I going to do? And I looked down at my gorgeous cream Margiela Tavi shoes and And I'm not dropping, like, listen, I don't care that they're like nice shoes. It doesn't, like, I don't care about that. What I care about is that this is a tabby. There's a split in the toe, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I look down at my toe and it's just coming through the split. It's packed through the split of the toe. It'd be one thing if I stepped in human shit in a Doc Martin, you know what I mean? Because those are like waterproof, weatherproof. They're like fully wrapped around the full foot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Like it's like if you step in something, all you got to do is like find the nearest hose and like hose off your shoe and you're fine. I was in a very small, fragile shoe that had a split between the toes. Not to mention, these shoes are really worn in, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
So the second I stepped in it, I felt the temperature of the feces on my foot because of how thin the leather is because I've worn it through. I was so frightened that it seeped through onto my sock. I didn't know what to do. I said to the person I was with, I was like, what am I supposed to do? Like, I don't know what to do. Like, should we get like a bottle of water?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And he was like, all right, here's what we're going to do. He sits me down at a table. There was like a restaurant that had like a bunch of tables on the street that like went out super far. And I sat at the farthest table where I was very far. I was not nearly close to anyone. It was also like off hours. Nobody was even eating there. So I sat down on this chair and he was like, give me a second.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And so I go out for the day and I have a delightful day. All right, I shopped around. I don't think I bought anything that day, thank God. I got a coffee. I did some people watching. I had a long, wonderful, wonderful day. And I return home and I walk through my front door and immediately I'm like, oh, I have to get my pajamas on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
So now I'm like sitting with what I believe to be human shit packed on my shoe. And I'm like trying to scrape it off against the curb and it's just not budging. And I'm like, I might have to throw my shoes away right now, which is fine. Like, listen, these things are replaceable, but it's more just like, wait, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? Like, am I going to get sick?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Like, I don't know what's going to happen. So I sit there for like somewhere between seven to 10 minutes. And this young man that I'm with comes back. He went to a liquor store and he bought Clorox wipes and a bottle of water. And I was like, oh my God, you are saving my life. Like, this is amazing. This is a miracle. Thank you so much. And he was like, wait.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And he goes into a nearby cafe for a minute and he comes out with sterile rubber gloves. and a bunch of napkins. Next, he instructs me to stand up and walk over to the curb, where he sits on the curb, takes one of his shoes off, has me put my foot in the shoe, his shoe. He then takes my shoe and proceeds to clean it himself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
What he had to witness, what he was about six inches away from as he was cleaning my shoe, is something that I couldn't have stomached myself. Okay. This young man took it upon himself to literally take off his own shoe so that I didn't have to like balance on one foot and then clean my shoe to perfection to the point where I don't even have to throw these shoes away.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
He Clorox wipes, wipe them to oblivion. I mean, they are cleaner than they've ever been before. He had to poke the shit out from between the toe and he did it all without a complaint. I truly have never, no one has ever done something nicer for me in my life, ever. My standard for how I want to treat others and how I want to be treated have now elevated to a brand new level after that experience.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I was truly moved. I mean, listen, the craziest part of this story is that I stepped in human shit. But to be honest, growing up near San Francisco, you know, I've seen my fair share of human shit on the street. I've seen people shitting. Like I've seen the poop happening. I've seen people pissing all over. Like I've seen the shit. It's just something that happens in a city. It's sad. It's sad.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
It's a bummer. It sucks. I just, I didn't think I would ever have to interact with it. It was also so fresh. Like I don't even know like how like it was literally brand new. But I'm happy to say that I still have that pair of tabbies. They're still my favorite pair of shoes. And now they they hold a beautiful memory of of this young man who really took care of me. And that was really sweet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And let's all send him love and clap for him. Let's clap for him. Let's clap for him. Can I be honest, ladies? If you think right now, if your boyfriend wouldn't do that for you, close your eyes. If your boyfriend wouldn't do that for you, break up with him. I'm not kidding. There's a man out there that would wipe poop out of your tabbies and you need to find him. Don't settle. Do not settle.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Like I have to get my pajamas on because I like to get dressed up on the weekends. So I'm itching to get my clothes off. So immediately I put all my stuff down And then I start walking upstairs to my bedroom. Immediately as I'm walking up the stairs, I notice on the staircase a pair of mustard yellow socks. And I was like, huh, what? What are these doing here?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Let's move on. Okay. This is such a funny and embarrassing story. I'm actually mortified by this story. And you all are probably going to think of me differently. Actually, I don't know. I don't know how this story is going to come off, but I'm going to tell it anyway. So the other day, actually, was this the same day as the poop tabby? No, it might've been the day before.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Anyway, same weekend as I stepped in poop in my tabbies, I stopped into this super fancy, like bougie, super fashion store. It's called Maxfield. And And I love popping in there every once in a while because they have like sometimes they'll have runway pieces. They have a bunch of designer stuff. I almost never buy anything there because everything is really expensive.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And it's like it's more to me like kind of like going into a little gallery or something. But I find it quite fun. And so on this particular weekend, I decided to pop in. And it's located in West Hollywood on a very popular street where there's a lot of action. It's like a fun street to hang out on. Like you can get really good food.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
You can shop around mainly like designer stores, but it's like fun to just hang out around there. There's a lot of fun stuff to see. So I go into Maxfield, I shop around. It's like kind of a quiet weekend sort of evening, off hours, like not quite lunchtime, not quite dinnertime. So it was definitely not super busy, but there were people around.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I'm walking out of the store and the door is sort of protected. It's like almost in sort of like an alley or not quite an alley, but it's like the door is not accessible from the street. Like you have to walk around the building sort of towards the back to get in. And so to then get out, you are then walking back around the building to go to the street.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And I walk around the corner to start walking towards the street and there's a fucking paparazzi taking photos of me. Now, I know what you're thinking. Emma, you're a public figure. Like, that shit happens in LA, right? No, it doesn't, okay? I can't tell you how many times I've shopped around in that area. I never get paparazzi'd out of nowhere.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Like, there are times when paparazzi randomly takes photos of me, but it's always in an environment or at a time where it's expected. Like, for example, if I'm in New York for the Met. There's paparazzi around at every single event, at every single restaurant throughout the weekend because there's a bunch of public figures around.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
So it's not super shocking for somebody to take a photo of me because they're taking a photo of everyone because there's just so many public figures around and they're just trying to get as much coverage on who's going to the event and who's around town. But also like there are certain restaurants in LA that always have paparazzi in front of them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
There are certain, you know, events that have paparazzi around them, like certain parties that have paparazzi outside. But it's always sort of expected. You know what I mean? Like I always know like, oh, there's probably gonna be cameras outside of this event. I can't remember the last time I got paparazzi at random.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Like when I was younger, like a teenager, there was this phase where there was a YouTube channel called The Hollywood Fix. And it was like this guy who really focused on like YouTubers, TikTokers, influencers, and he really would like show up at houses sometimes. Like he would show up at an influencer, TikToker, YouTuber's residence. And he did do that to me a few times.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And he would follow me and find me. But it was like different. It wasn't like the paparazzi. It was like its own sort of thing. It was a YouTube channel of this guy who does very specifically like social media personality interviews. And it was a bit invasive because he would sometimes come to your house, which was like a little bit crazy. The moral of the story is I was shopping.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I really did not expect this to happen. It was shocking to me. And I immediately like, I like almost screamed a little. I was startled. It was so not cool. The cool thing to do would have been for me to have walked out and been like, just fucking strut. But immediately I like screamed a little bit and then I started laughing because I screamed. I think the photos are somewhere. I don't even know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Like, I put all my clothes away before I left. Like, did the cats get this pair of socks out? And it kind of freaked me out a little bit because I was like, I can't remember my cats ever playing with my socks. Maybe when they were kittens, but like in recent memory, my cats are not touching my socks. And then I thought about it a bit more and I'm like, these are yellow socks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
It doesn't matter. But like I start laughing. And then my reaction in general was just mortifying. Like to scream a little bit and then to like start laughing and get like nervous and weird. It was so embarrassing. And I was like, oh my God. I like, what is happening?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Like this guy is used to seeing like fucking the Kardashians walking into a restaurant so hot, strutting it, looking so hot, wearing a chic outfit, always prepared for the camera. Meanwhile, I like walk out and I'm like, oh my God. Ah, wait, what? Who are you? Oh my God. I'm being paparazzi. Wait, what? Oh my God. Okay. Wait, should I like look cool? Like that was my reaction.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
It was, oh my God, it was so embarrassing. And then I was like, fuck, what if he's filming it? Cause sometimes paparazzi will film. And I was like, oh my God, if he's filming it, this is going to be a TikTok. Like this is going to get posted on TikTok and everyone's going to be like, Emma is the least funny. Like, look at this cringe freak.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
She's like giggling and like screaming and like, like it was so embarrassing. Anyway, I walked up to him and I was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. My reaction to seeing you is so weird. Like I genuinely was just shocked. Like I never, like, how did you even find me? I was like, and then there was this woman with him and this woman was like, I saw you from across the street.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Then I look across the street and I remembered, oh, there's a restaurant across the street that always has paparazzi out front. And they were clearly just waiting for like, I don't know, Machine Gun Kelly to like walk in in an hour, you know? So like they were waiting for that. And then I guess because it was just off hours, like 4 p.m., they saw me across the street and they're like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Oh, I guess we'll take a picture of that lady. So then they took a picture of me. And then it was so funny because I was like, oh my God, as a joke, I was like, I hope I looked good. And then he was like, do you want to take a few more where you can be more posed? I was like, sure. So I like, well, I like stepped back a few steps and then like walked for him a little bit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And I was like, all right, I got to go. Like, this is ridiculous. What are we doing? But then I was like, fuck, what if he took a video of that? Like, what if he took a video of me being him being like, do you want to like retake them and kind of stage them and make them look good? And then I was like, yeah, duh. And then there's like photos of me like faking getting paparazzi photos.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I was like, this whole thing is a mess. this is a mess. This is mortifying. Everything about this is mortifying. I was like, Oh my God. Like the one time I get paparazzi in the wild, naturally, like I should have just walked past him and like looked fucking hot and cool and been like, Hey babe. And then like kept walking. But no, I like interacted with him.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I was like, hey, oh my God, this is so fun. Wait. And then he's like, should we take more? And I'm like, yes. Like it was so embarrassing. It was just like not cool. Like, but I don't know. It's fine. It's fine. But it feels also kind of rude. Like if this person's taking a photo of you to like completely ignore, I don't know. I'm not really like caught up with the etiquette.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
When it comes to like me going to an event or something and there's paparazzi there, like they don't need to chat. You know, they don't care. They also don't care about me that much. Like it's not that deep. They're taking photos of everyone. So like just walking by and kind of ignoring the camera is totally fine.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
But when somebody like finds you in the middle of West Hollywood on like on off hours and there's like no one around, it's like a weird vibe, but it's kind of fun. Now I'm like, oh my God, should I start like leaking my location more often? Cause I kind of had fun. It was kind of a rush.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Because that's a lot of times what happens with paparazzi, I think, is that paparazzi know where certain celebrities frequent. They know where they live. Like, don't get me wrong. You know, paparazzi definitely catch people in the wild. But just as much, people are calling the paparazzi on themselves. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Maybe I just need to hang out in more places where there's paparazzi because it was kind of fun. Or maybe I just start calling it on myself. I don't think that that's morally wrong necessarily. It's kind of fun. It's definitely a bit cringe, but I don't think it's morally wrong, but it is a little bit cringe. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
These are at the bottom of my sock drawer because I never wear my yellow socks. Like I had not worn those socks in probably a year. And why are there no other socks out? Like if they were playing with socks... They would have probably taken out more than one pair. Like why this one yellow pair? Now all of this is flashing through my mind in an instant.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Well, if you start seeing more paparazzi photos of me, it's either that I started hanging out in areas where there's a lot of paparazzi or I just started calling it on myself. So just beware and keep your eyes out on Daily Mail. Anyways, last but not least, my last story of the day is the only story that's not somewhat recent, like within the last six months. This story dates back years ago.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
However, it's recently been on my mind for a reason that I will explain after I tell the story. So let me take you back to my first breakup. This was one of my darkest hours. I was down fucking bad.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
crying all the time, laying in bed, watching Jersey Shore every single day, the TV show, manifesting that my ex at that time would ultimately choose to get back together with me, crying, crying, crying every day, crying, sobbing, thinking that life was over, et cetera. You know how it is. First breakup, doesn't feel good. You know what made that breakup so fucking hard?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
The fact that his fragrance that he wore, Baccarat Rouge 540, That specific fragrance is one of the most potent fragrances of all time. So you know what that means? His smell lingered in my apartment for six months. I kid you not. Every time I'd sit on my couch, I would smell him.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I would sometimes like randomly take out a piece of clothing from my closet that I hadn't worn in a while and it would smell like him. That fragrance sticks to everything and it sticks for months, okay? Not only that, but it's a delicious smell. It's like the best smell ever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
People would assume that my life is much more dynamic than it actually is. I wake up, I do pretty much the same thing every single day, and then I go to sleep. And there are a few times a year when interesting things happen. Perhaps I go to an event or something. But for the most part, my life is very mundane. And I rarely have stories to tell. But today, I have stories to tell.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
So not only was I going through the worst breakup of my life, but that scent made it 5,000 times worse because every time I'd forget about him, I'd sit on my couch, get a whiff of that aroma and remember immediately how it felt to hug him. brutal. But you know what I ended up doing? I ended up buying the fragrance myself for two reasons.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Number one, because if I started wearing it myself, it would become my own thing. I would associate the smell with me. Number two, when you wear a fragrance enough, you almost don't smell it anymore. My God, my oven just made a sound. That scared the fucking shit out of me. I thought it was the ghost. Oh my God, my oven just made a, oh. Sometimes my oven's fan will like randomly go on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Now my cat looks scared. Hold on, I need to check what's happening. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That was really scary. My oven, every once in a while, will, like, turn on the fan, even if the oven's not on. And it makes sort of, like, a loud sound. And it is normal. Like, it happens, I don't know, like, every two weeks or something. Like, that'll randomly happen or I'll hear it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I let it go and I continue up the stairs into my closet to get into my pajamas. And I step into my closet, perfectly clean. Every single piece of clothing either put away or in my hamper. Not another piece of clothing on the floor. And there's another pair of mustard yellow socks. Yes, I do have two pairs of mustard yellow socks. Only two. But I almost shit my pants.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
But it just happened to happen after telling you multiple ghost stories. So I feel sick to my stomach. Anyway, so back to the fragrance story, which now seems irrelevant as I think the ghost is playing with my fan in my oven. I bought this fragrance for a few reasons. Number one, because I would, you know, reassociate the smell with myself rather than with him.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Uh, number two, because the more I wore it, the less potent the smell would become. Like you almost become nose blind to a fragrance that you wear all the time. You don't even smell it anymore. And then number three, because I actually remembered that when we were dating, I asked him if I could buy that fragrance too, because I loved the smell so much. It was so good. And he said, no, no,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
So the third reason was kind of a fuck you. Like, you know what? No, fuck you. Yeah, fuck you. Because it's weird to be like to your girlfriend who loves the scent so much. Like, oh my God, I want to wear that smell too. Let's wear it together. And then like the boyfriend says, no, ew, that's rude. That's rude. Glad we broke up. So no, he didn't mean any harm by it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
He just wanted a signature scent. Like, you know what? Can you blame a young man for wanting a signature scent? I guess you can't. Um, then ever since literally for the last like six, seven years, that has been my scent. That is the only fragrance that I really wear. I mean, there's been a few exceptions here and there, but like for the most part, that has been my signature scent.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And I just recently sort of came to the conclusion, like I need to find a new one that's mine. Like, I don't like that this one has this history. I want one that has a clean slate. And so I'm in the market for a new signature scent, but it's so hard. It's so hard to find. Like I smell fragrances at every single Sephora, at every single like designer store.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Like anytime I'm around fragrance where there's like a big display of fragrances out, I'm smelling every single one. And I've yet to find one that really sticks with me. None of them are quite right. I don't know. We'll see if I ever find it. But anyway, that was my signature scent villain origin story. You know, it's like revenge. Like, you didn't let me have that scent when we were dating.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And now the scent's haunting me, so I'm going to wear it. And it's my signature scent now. I think those are all the stories I have. I wish I had more. But actually, I'm glad to stop now because then, you know, if I remember any more, I'll just save it for the next short story compilation. I hope you enjoyed these stories.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Sorry that it wasn't like anything really crazy, like me like jumping out of a building and then like a squirrel like jumping on my back and then me using a parachute. Like, sorry it wasn't like that. Because I know that that's what you all want because all of our attention spans are horrible now because of the internet. So I know that you're expecting like real shock value.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I didn't really give you that, but I gave you some stories. At least this was like white noise for you to do chores to or like fall asleep to. You know, that's all I could ever ask. Or maybe you're on like a road trip and you're bored and like you just want the warm hum of a familiar voice. Like, I don't know. But regardless, I enjoyed our time together. I love telling stories.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I can't wait till I get to tell stories again. But until then, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Anything Goes is available anywhere you stream podcasts. But if you want to watch a video, that's on Spotify and YouTube. I'm everywhere at Emma Chamberlain and my coffee company is Chamberlain Coffee. And I love you all and I appreciate you all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And I can't wait to talk to you in a few days. And that's it. All right. I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I was like, wait, what is happening? These are two pairs of socks that I almost never wear. Now, I will say, basically, here's how my sock drawer is laid out, okay? I have pretty much every color of sock in my sock drawer because for many years I was sort of a sock collector. I was like obsessed with socks. And when I got rid of a bunch of clothes, I kept like one or two of each color.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
However, all of my colored socks are at the bottom of my sock drawer beneath a bunch of plain white and plain black socks. And I have deep, deep, deep sock drawers, like deep. Like to get to the bottom, it's probably like five socks, seven socks deep.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
What are the odds that my cats would go into my sock drawer filled with literally like a hundred pairs of socks and they would dig to the bottom to pick the two pairs of mustard yellow socks? Literally chills cover my whole body. I actually have chills all over my body right now. I was like, this is the ghost. This is the ghost.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And if you're unfamiliar with my home, I've had a few little ghost occurrences. And let me remind you what's happened thus far with this ghost. Okay, when I first moved into this house, I did about two years of construction. And then towards the end of the long journey of construction and, you know, designing the interior and doing the home decor and everything.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
My interior designers decided to give me a gift because it was such a long experience. And so they gifted me with sort of like a shaman of sorts who – or not a shaman, but like a spiritual guide or something. They gave me the gift of a spiritual guide who came into my home and did a bunch of –
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
spiritual things in my house I actually don't know what she did because I wasn't there when she did it my mom was home and she facilitated that experience I was working or something but at the end of her sort of process she said you have a small young boy living in your house he's a ghost and He's harmless. He's not going to harm anyone, but he does like to play tricks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And then I remember my mom was like, wait a minute, maybe he took the ladder because we had a ladder go missing during the construction of my home. And then a few months later, he like stole my mom's glasses and then he like put them somewhere. And then we like found them right after that. Anyway, I have other ghost story episodes. So go listen to those if you want the full story.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
But anyway, I had a really, really horrible, horrible experience where I believe that the ghost was playing with my home security system, my alarm system, and basically convinced me through making door chime sounds or something that my house had been broken into and also setting the alarm off because the ghost, I believe, set the alarm off. I actually feel sick talking about this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
It literally gives me so much anxiety. I know that this ghost is harmless, but that one experience where he started playing with the alarm system and made me think that somebody broke into my house, that was one of the most traumatic nights of my life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
So I just am really, I'm like, please, if you're listening, buddy, we can't, like you can do little funny things with the socks, but nothing more, like nothing that makes me call 911, okay? Thank you. Um, I am 95% sure, if not even 99% sure that that little guy was playing with my socks and his favorite color is clearly yellow.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And listen, are they going to be the most wild, jaw-dropping stories you've ever heard? No, because I'm not a liar, okay? Remember the story time era on YouTube when everybody was making story time videos and they were doing so well and getting so many views that everybody started lying to keep up the engagement and keep up the views? I'm not doing that, all right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Um, because there's no other logical explanation to why those two socks were out. And you know what? You can all think that I'm being loopy, but there was somebody else at my house at the time who was there when I cleaned the house. Okay. Okay. And then they were also there when we got home. So like, I was not fully alone for this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And I said to this person that was with me, I was like, wait a minute, you saw me clean the house. They were like, yeah. And then I was like, you know what my sock drawer looks like. Why are these two pairs of yellow socks out? And they were like, honestly, Emma? This is fucking weird. I am not alone in thinking that this was weird, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I had a full other party there with me, a witness, if you will, who could back up the fact that this whole thing was fucking weird. Anyway, nothing has happened since. Knock on wood. As long as he comes in peace, I'm all good. But that one occurrence where he made me call 911, that was so fucked up. And it was one of the darkest nights of my life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
So if he's listening, I hope this isn't giving him ammo to do more little tricks on me because I'm not in the mood. Let's move on to something a bit less paranormal. The next two stories take place at my favorite workout class, okay? Workout classes in Los Angeles are a bit, for the lack of a better word, culty, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
They're not fully culty in the way that the instructors are pretending to be God or something like that. You know, there's nothing necessarily toxic about it, but I say culty because workout classes in Los Angeles tend to get a cult following. And I have been a part of almost every single workout class cult. And so my recent one is sort of a hot yoga studio, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I go all the time and I take the same types of classes every single time. And so I see the same people, right? And that's what tends to happen with these culty LA workout classes. Everybody figures out who their favorite instructors are. People become friends because they see each other every week at the same class. It becomes very communal and it's actually really cool. I love it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And I make friends and all that, you know, like I become sort of attached to certain instructors. Like I wouldn't say I'm the most culty, but I'm definitely involved, you know? Anyway, so the next two stories take place at my yoga studio, starting out with a random Friday afternoon. I was taking the afternoon class at 12.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I think we were probably 30 minutes in, really starting to sweat, really starting to feel it. And we hit the booty section where we do what instructors call fire hydrants. You know, when you're like on your hands and knees and you put a little weight, perhaps like a five-pound weight behind your knee, and then you lift your knee up and it burns your booty, okay? Very Pilates-coated.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
And the instructor had us do like some kind of funny, like she had us put like a yoga block under one of our knees while we were doing it. And so we're doing the workout and then we finish the booty section and it definitely burned. It was a tough one. And afterwards she was like, how did you guys feel about that one? And everybody was like, yeah, it was good. It was good. It was good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Then she was like, well, we can, we can all thank the fitness influencer who, you know, gave me the idea for this workout. Cause I saw it on Tik TOK. And then all of a sudden, the woman next to me, I kid you not, the woman next to me screams, fuck influencers. I hate influencers, kind of as a joke. Meanwhile, I'm like, oh shit, I think I'm in enemy territory.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
All of these stories are true, real, and mediocre at best, but I'm gonna try through storytelling to make them interesting because they're not that interesting. Actually, I'm really selling, I'm not selling this. And I should be selling it. We're gonna have fun together, but they're not gonna be the most interesting stories you've ever heard in your life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Now, here's the thing about the yoga class I go to. The crowd that goes to this class is very diverse, like some super old people and some super young people. Male, female, like everyone you can possibly imagine is in this yoga class. I've been to some hot yoga classes in LA that are very much like young girls my age. It's very trendy. Everybody's wearing the same yoga pants.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Like it's catering to a very specific audience. The place that I go, however, is very different. It's very diverse. Like most people are over the age of 30 and they definitely don't know who I am. Okay. Listen, not that like people my age don't know, like I'm not, but I am a public figure and technically in some people's eyes, an influencer. And it's very clear that this lady didn't know this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Okay. But it's also, it became very clear that most people didn't know this because then the entire room erupts. Okay. I kid you not erupts agreeing with this lady that just was like, fuck. fuck influencers. I hate influencers. Then all of a sudden everyone's erupting being like, yeah, I fucking hate influencers. And I'm just sitting there like, I actually thought it was hilarious.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I wasn't like offended, but I was like, they don't like influencers. And my job is on the internet. I am to some people an influencer. It just depends on what you think an influencer is. To be honest, I wish I could say I was deeply offended and I walked out of the room and I cried for two days because that would be a more interesting story. I didn't. I really didn't care.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I actually thought it was quite funny. I was laughing, but I was kind of laughing in fear a little bit. Like, Whoa, if these people find out that I'm an influencer, and I see a lot of these people routinely because I go to this yoga class all the time. If they find out that I'm an influencer, I fear that they might light me on fire.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I've never experienced something like that where everyone in the room was like, yeah. fuck influencers. Ew. Influencers should rot in hell. It was like, what is happening? And I was so scared. I was like, but the truth of the matter, like I get it. I get it. Listen, I don't believe in like openly hating on anyone. I don't think that's good for community and society.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I also don't think it's good to do that in an environment like a yoga class because you never know Like if you were to come out and say like, oh, I hate country music in the middle of a yoga class in Los Angeles, there's like a 90% chance that there is a country artist in that yoga class. You know what I mean? That's just how LA is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Like there's a little bit of everyone, especially in entertainment. So like there's no excuse in my book for like being hateful towards others. However, I think I can say this because I am an influencer. I understand the frustration towards influencers. I really do. Even though, depending on whose definition we're following, I am one, you know, I get it. I fucking get it. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
All right, so lower your expectations a little bit. But I am gonna start out with probably the best story to really get you hooked. So without further ado, let's begin. I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Dove's new plant milk cleansing collection. You know how I love my little treats, and I feel the same way about treating my skin in the shower.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Influencers live incredibly comfortable lives. They're constantly rubbing in the faces of everyone else how good their life is on the internet. Or a lot of them are, myself included even. Like I show my travels, I show my outfits. that I'm wearing, I show the food that I'm eating. And depending on what place you're in in your life, that might be annoying.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
You know, there's been places in my life when I was a teenager, when I saw influencers and it made me feel bad. You know, influencers can be ignorant, like problematic, like I get it. Do I think that being hateful towards others is a good thing? No. Do I think that what that lady did was right by saying that? No. Do I think that we should all love each other to the best of our ability? Yes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
Even through our flaws? Yes. But I kind of also was like, all right, I got to get it. So we'll see if they ever find out that I am an influencer among them. I don't think anyone knows yet because everybody loves me there and is quite nice to me. So I'm just crossing my fingers that they don't find out. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Hotels.com.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
I love to travel and I love staying at hotels. There's nothing I love more than walking into a fresh, clean hotel room and just absolutely exploding in it, okay? Putting all my skincare in the bathroom, hanging all my clothes up in the closet, and really making myself feel at home. I also love going down in the morning for a buffet breakfast.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the ghost is back, and other stories
But booking the right hotel can be hard work if you don't know where to look. Whether I'm traveling for work or for fun, I'm always looking for the best hacks and perks. And if you're like me, let me tell you, the easiest way to book is with Hotels.com. Members save up to 20% and earn rewards on every stay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everyone is gross and weird
To be human is to be gross and weird. To be human is to be disgusting and bizarre. To be human is to poop and pee and pick your boogers and talk to yourself in the mirror and itch your armpit and then sniff your finger. To be human is to be ultimately gross and weird. And that's normal. We're all gross and weird. However, most other people don't see us being gross and weird.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everyone is gross and weird
And so I spend time every few weeks being like, what am I donating? What am I keeping? Whatever. And sometimes I'll be doing that and I'll decide all of a sudden, you know what? I'm going to lay down on the cold cement floor, dusty cold cement floor of my garage. I'm just going to lay down. In the middle, like imagine me, close your eyes and imagine me in my garage.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everyone is gross and weird
You don't know what my garage looks like, but just imagine me in a garage with a bunch of stuff in it. Boxes, all this stuff. Imagine me just working away as normal. Nothing too weird. And then all of a sudden just laying down on the ground. You'd think I was possessed by something. It's very odd. It's very odd to see. But I do it and don't even think about it. So yeah, moving on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everyone is gross and weird
Another weird thing I do is, I feel like what I wear around the house is kind of weird. For one, I have these orange shorts, okay? They're an orange, a rusty orange pair of sweatshorts from Aritzia. They're like a size larger than what I would normally order, right? But they fit perfect. And Like they're the most comfortable. They're like a little baggy. They're a little baggy in the butt, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everyone is gross and weird
Like they don't fit properly. Okay. That's what I mean by they're like not the right size. Like they look a little off because they're, it looks like I'm wearing a diaper. I wear these shorts 99% of the time that I'm at home. Like right now, I'm not wearing them because it's very cold in my house because I like my house to be cold. And during the winter, I just like won't turn the heater on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everyone is gross and weird
I'll just let it be like fucking 60 degrees in my house, 50 degrees in my house because I like it. Which is another weird thing I do, which is like keep my house really cold and then walk around with a robe on and then with a blanket around my shoulders and then with a heating pad. And then it's like really weird. It's like I'm walking around like a fucking snowball.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everyone is gross and weird
Our most disgusting and bizarre of moments come out when we're alone. Recently, in my moments alone, I've been finding myself doing shit that I cannot imagine other people seeing. Like truly, it makes me shudder to think about others seeing into my home, seeing into my car, seeing into my mind in my moments alone because some of the shit I do is just fucking weird or gross or bizarre.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everyone is gross and weird
I don't know why I like that, but I do. Anyway. Back to the orange shorts. Like I am constantly wearing these orange shorts. It's really hard to even get to wash them because I'm usually wearing them while, you know, the laundry is being done. It's just, I sleep in them every night. for guys that date me, I'm always thinking about it.
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I'm like, I wonder if they wish that they had a girlfriend that like at night would like put on like cute little silk pajamas and like, you know, their butt looks all cute in it. And like, maybe like a little shoulders popping out. Ooh, a little shoulder. Oh my God. So sexy. So, so smoldering. And like the hair is looking so like,
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I am wearing my fucking orange shorts and at my like sexiest, if you will, like a fucking Brandy Melville tank top from like six years ago that just for some reason is like the perfect softness that I can't get rid of it. Like it just, I will never get rid of it. It's, there's something about it, you know, like that is, and it's just nothing fits right.
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If I look, it's not cute, it's not flattering, but It's a mess, but that is what I have to wear at home. And you know, I work from home a lot and I work in this outfit, okay? This is what I work in because it allows me to focus and feel comfortable, you know? But if you saw me walking around, I look horrible. There's like a few little cozy outfits I have for at home that are cute.
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everyone is gross and weird
You know, I have like two sort of at home when it's really cold sort of sweat sets, like whatever that I can wear around the house. And I wear those sometimes and I look put together when I wear those. But for the most part.
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everyone is gross and weird
90 let's say 95% of the time I'm wearing those orange fucking shorts and some sort of really worn in about to fucking disintegrate t-shirt or like again at my sexiest a six-year-old Brandy Melville tank top and It's not that weird, but it does feel a bit weird. It's like, girl, do you have, why are you wearing the orange shorts again? Like, it's weird. It's like, it's very odd. I don't know.
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everyone is gross and weird
Maybe it's not odd. Something a bit more odd than the orange shorts and bundling up in like 15 layers around the house in a way that makes no logical sense would be some of the shit I do in the mirror. Like I'll, I'll like get out of the shower. Okay. Now it sounds like, oh my God, it sounds like this is going in a weird direction. I'm not talking about, I have to see my butthole.
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everyone is gross and weird
Like that's not what I'm about to say. Although every once in a while you have to do that just to see like what's going on in there. But that's not what I'm, that's not where I was going with this. Like let's say I'm like doing my makeup or something, right? Or I'm getting dressed for the day and I'm looking in a mirror, you know, whatever.
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Sometimes I will suddenly become entranced, but not like by myself in some sort of like self-love way. Like, wow, what a beautiful woman. That unfortunately doesn't happen for me, but I'll become like distracted. Like, huh, how am I like perceived by others? What do I look like? I'll almost pose for a photo in the mirror.
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Like I will like look at what I look like when I'm like posing in certain ways or like what I look like from different angles. And I do that frequently. Like I don't even know why or like how it starts, but I will say something interesting about it, even though it looks fucking weird. Like when I'm looking in the mirror, it's almost like I'm practicing posing in the mirror. Okay. Um,
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which is not completely useless for me in my life because I do photo shoots here and there. I go on a red carpet here and there. Not as much recently because I'm not loving the vibe. Not loving the vibe of a red carpet right now just does not sound ultimately fulfilling for me.
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So not recently, but I've had years there where I've gone to many red carpets, and there's something helpful about understanding the connection between your body movement and what it looks like in the mirror. It's nice to understand, like, oh, if I move like this, I look like that. And it's impossible to know that unless you move around a lot in the mirror.
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you know, in a way it's actually been like a helpful, weird thing that I do. And maybe that's subconsciously why I do it because I'm trying to teach myself movement to appearance connection, you know, like make that connection. I don't know, but either way it fucking looks weird. And I will say it, I think it's made me photograph better.
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everyone is gross and weird
Like it's kind of mortifying. However, ironically, today, I'm going to be sharing with you all of the gross and weird shit that I do when I'm alone to make you feel less gross and weird about yourself and to hopefully entertain you and to get it off my chest.
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Like I think I photograph better now because of this weird thing that I do. It's not like the fucking like posing in the mirror that like you see in like a music video. Some fucking hot girl like feeling herself in the mirror. It's like weirder than that. It's just a bit more unhinged. I don't know. It's just cringe. Okay, next weird thing I do. This is weird.
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everyone is gross and weird
Like some of the things I've mentioned thus far, it's like that's not that weird. This next one's pretty weird. So I have grown accustomed to a squatty potty. If you don't know what that is, it's basically this little stool-like contraption that you place where your feet go when you're sitting on the toilet to elevate your feet probably eight inches or so off the ground.
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to allegedly align your colon or something in the correct position for pooping. Basically, the reason why the squatty potty was created apparently was so that your body, while sitting on the toilet, could be in the proper position to let poop come out easier.
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Because allegedly, sitting normally on the toilet as though you're sitting in a chair is actually not the ideal position for poop to easily come out Right. Cause you got a lot of stuff going on in your lower abdomen. You got a lot of tubes and pipes and all this.
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And so in order to straighten things out, I guess not straighten things out, but like create the least amount of blockage, I guess, apparently having your knees up while you're going to the bathroom is very helpful. I agree with this. Like I think it absolutely makes a difference. So I have squatty potties all over my house, but sometimes when I'm in public, I don't got a squatty potty. Okay.
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everyone is gross and weird
They actually do sell portable ones, but I just find it disgusting. The idea of like unfolding his squatty potty, putting it on the floor in a public bathroom and then refolding it back up and putting it in my purse with all the bathroom bacteria on it. No thanks. Okay.
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everyone is gross and weird
So what I will do is, I've done this many times when I've pooped in a public bathroom, kick over the mini trash can, okay, if there's like a mini trash can, I'll kick that over and I'll put my fucking legs up on it. One time, oh my God, I'm actually remembering something hilarious. I'm so used to doing this. I have one bathroom.
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It's like, it's right off the kitchen, right off the dining room, right off the living room. It's sort of like the communal bathroom. And then I have my own, you know, private bathroom in my, you know, bedroom. And so like that one obviously has a squatty potty and the whole nine. But that bathroom doesn't have a squatty potty in it.
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Just because I was like, it's the one that when guests come over, they tend to use. And I don't know, I just didn't put a squatty potty in that one. One time I went pee in that bathroom. And there's no squatty potty in there, but there is a little trash can. Now I was just going pee. Okay. And I was not alone. Okay. My boyfriend was at my house. I pulled the little trash can over.
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I have my legs up. I literally, I do what I would do if I was in a public bathroom. I kicked over the fuck just to go pee, by the way, I wasn't even pooping. But I just, for some reason, was in autopilot. I was on my phone, like doing a text, like texting somebody. I was very in the zone. So I kicked it over and I had my legs up on it. And I was like peeing.
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And I was like bent over, like on my phone with my leg. And of course, it's my boyfriend. I'm very close with this person. He walks in and I'm fucking, I have my legs up on the trash. And he's like, what the fuck is, what is going on? I was like, oh, okay. Totally. So let me explain. And I had to explain this to him.
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I was like, okay, so like, I'm used to the squatty potty when I'm in a public bathroom. This is what I do. I don't know why I just did it right now. I'm only peeing. Like, I mean, he's like, what? He's like, I can't even fathom. And I was like, I know. I'm so sorry. So, um... I made myself a delicious, delicious matcha latte today that is better than usual.
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everyone is gross and weird
What a treat and I'm just sipping on it and I'm just enjoying it. Okay, moving on. The next weird thing I'll do is listen to the same exact song over and over and over again for five hours straight. Now I know like people are like, oh shit, like I got that song on repeat too, like yay. I don't, I like don't fully believe that people have songs on repeat to the extent that I do.
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I am convinced maybe naively and narcissistically so that I have like a weird, I take it to a weird level. Most people are like, oh man, I have that song on repeat. I listened to it like three times in a row. I'm like, oh yeah, I have that song on repeat. I've been listening to it for eight hours straight, four days straight sometimes.
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Like I will become obsessed with a song and will just fucking, I cannot stop. Sometimes for over a week on end, over and over and over again. And I just, to me, that can't be normal. I can't imagine other people are doing that. I mean, I guess other people must be doing it. I'm not like a fucking anomaly, you know what I mean?
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everyone is gross and weird
But it is pretty weird to me that I can handle hearing the same exact song over and over again. for a week straight at times. It's just very odd to me. Next, when I'm alone and I remember a cringe memory or I have sort of like an intrusive thought about something that is maybe uncomfortable or embarrassing or... tragic or whatever. When I'm alone, I will have physical reactions to these things.
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everyone is gross and weird
When I'm around people, I don't tend to have those types of intrusive thoughts or like cringe memories come into my head because I'm distracted. I'm with other people. But when I'm completely alone, I will have those thoughts and I will physically cringe and twitch when I think about them. And I'll notice myself doing it and I'm like, wow, you're like physically reacting.
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Like, this is so interesting. Like, it's not odd. I think it's normal to have a physical reaction sometimes to cringe or painful thoughts, but You know, like when you think about something extreme, you will react extreme. It like makes sense. But it's just one of those things where like, if somebody were to be looking in on me, all of a sudden, like I'm like driving alone.
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everyone is gross and weird
Let's begin with a story. One of my most disgusting stories. I actually cannot believe that this happened. And please refrain from harsh judgment because this story is hard to fathom and it's a little weird. So just bear with me here. So I was sitting at my desk in my office, working on my computer one evening around 5 p.m. Sun was going down. It was getting dark. I was like, ugh.
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All of a sudden, I like have a full body cringe. Like my whole body, like you see the cringe. It starts at my toes and it crinkles my nose. You know what I mean? Wherever it goes, I always know. Colby Calais. And to me, like, it just, it looks weird. It looks weird. It's like, did she just get a shiver?
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everyone is gross and weird
It's like when you are peeing and you get a little shiver, it's like that, but I'm completely alone and it's out of nowhere. You would never know why it happened. It's like one minute I'm cleaning the garage. The next minute I'm lying completely flat on the floor in the garage. And if you were an onlooker looking at that, you'd be like, I cannot, like, this is a little weird.
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everyone is gross and weird
What's going on with her? Okay, moving on. So this next thing is like kind of a funny stereotype, but it's actually something I do. And I think this must be somewhat normal, but like when I eat by myself, I eat like a fucking pig, okay? I just, I eat with my fingers. I'm like, I eat really fast. I like probably fucking chew with my mouth open. And at the end, I lick the fucking plate.
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I eat like a pig when I'm alone. Unless I'm like feeling cute and I'm like reading while I eat or I'm like working on my computer while I eat, which happens sometimes too. But for the most part, if I'm eating and I'm by myself, it's pig-like. It's absolutely pig-like. It is animalistic. And I will literally physically pick up my plate and lick it.
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And it's hard for me when I'm like eating dinner with like my family or like my boyfriend or whoever or one of my best friends. And I'm like, I can't lick the plate with y'all. Like I've never been closer with anyone. I love you guys, but I cannot lick the plate with y'all. I can't. I just can't. Even with you, it's too much.
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You know, like there's just a certain way that I eat when I'm alone that like no one should see.
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and it's funny because at times I get really hungry and I forget that I'm not alone and it kind of comes out a little bit and I'm like I know you're looking at me a little weird even though you love me you know anywho last but not least this is something that I've talked about before in an episode but if if you all could see it you would think it was fucking bizarre
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everyone is gross and weird
My job consists of a lot of filming myself, recording myself. For the most part, actually, these days, recording myself. This podcast, I mean, twice a week, we're on here. We're talking a lot. I make these episodes a lot, twice a week. And a lot of times, I don't get it right the first go. So I'm re-recording stuff. I'm saying things again. So I'll give you an example.
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I'll say something like, I really like candles, but candles aren't my favorite. And then I'll stutter on something. And then I'll say, you know, I really don't like candles. Well, candles are... I really don't like candles. Well, candles are kind of... I don't like to collect candles. I'll say things over and over and over again before I get it right. You know, you have to redo things.
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You have to re-say things because sometimes you stutter, you don't get it right, whatever. But then you kind of have to say it again with the same cadence. And it's very odd. Notoriously, as you may know, if you listen to this podcast and you heard my episode about my meltdowns a few weeks ago now,
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you would know that I sometimes re-record my podcast intro over and over and over again, up to, I don't know, 60, 70 times, I don't remember, before I get it right and I can actually get into the flow state and start recording an episode and talking normally. Can you imagine watching me re-record my podcast intro saying the exact same thing 60 times? Pretty crazy.
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I'm like, hello, and welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes. And then I'll be like, that one wasn't good. Hello, you guys. Welcome back to Advice Session. This is a series called Any... Oh, I fucked that up. And then I'll go over and over and over and over. And to watch that is to be disturbed by it. So anyway...
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It would be honestly interesting to like Truman show my life and like watch all the weird shit that I do when I'm alone. Because I bet there's stuff I can't even remember. But this is all the stuff that I can remember. And I hope it makes you feel a little bit less gross and weird. We're all gross and weird. And if you're thinking to yourself, Emma, that stuff isn't that weird.
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everyone is gross and weird
I bet your stuff isn't that weird either. Whether you talk to yourself or, I don't know, pick your nose and eat it. Those are two things I don't do, but I don't judge you if you do. Okay. I still can't. The concept of picking the booger and eating it is crazy, but I don't judge because you know what? Everybody has their favorite snacks. I have mine. You can have yours. So that's all good.
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everyone is gross and weird
Anyway, I love you all. I appreciate you all. I hope that this made you feel a little bit less gross and weird. New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Tune in if you want. Find Anything Goes on social media at Anything Goes and find me on social media at Emma Chamberlain. I love you all. I appreciate you all. It's a pleasure to hang out and I hope that we get to hang out soon.
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everyone is gross and weird
I was sitting there at my desk working, and I was starting to get a little bit distracted, as I do sometimes after working for a few hours. And I noticed that I had a weird taste in my mouth. I think I have a tonsil stone. And I was like, I get tonsil stones every once in a while. If you don't know what a tonsil stone is, let me educate you. This is a little bit disgusting, I'm warning you.
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everyone is gross and weird
So bear with me. Tonsil stones are small, hard lumps that form in the tonsils. They're made of food debris, bacteria, fungi, and minerals like calcium. Tonsil stones are caused by debris trapped in the tonsillar crypts, which calcifies. This can often be food, although bacteria, fungi, and mucus can also form tonsil stones.
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They can also form due to allergies when you have an upper respiratory tract infection like the flu, common cold, or post-nasal drip. I personally get tonsil stones in my left tonsil because, number one, I have very bad seasonal allergies and post-nasal drip. It's mucus issues.
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In addition to that, from inspecting my left tonsil, I have a lot of folds and creases and crevices in my left tonsil that basically are begging for things to get caught within the folds of it, right? So I have very good dental hygiene, oral hygiene. I brush my teeth twice a day. I always get good reports from the dentist. It's not that.
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On occasion, our family member, best friend, or significant other might catch us being gross and weird. And depending on our closeness to that person, it might not be so bad. But for the most part, other people don't see us being gross or weird. Some of our grossest and weirdest moments usually happen alone. And there's something kind of stressful about that.
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It is that I have allergies and a particularly folded, increased left tonsil. Now, the first time I got a tonsil stone was traumatic for me. I had no idea what the taste in my mouth was because this is disgusting, but tonsil stones, you can kind of tell that they're there. You can't feel them unless they're really big, but mine never get that big. You can taste them.
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And I'm very hyper aware of my body, okay? So the second I start developing a tonsil stone, I can taste it. And it's subtle, but I can taste it. And the taste of it comes in waves. It's disgusting. And I've asked people in my life, boyfriends, my parents, like, hey, can you smell this on my breath? It's disgusting. I know. I'm sorry. And all of them have so far said no.
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And I know that one of them would at least be honest. All of those people, those are people in my life that are not yes men, okay? Yes women, if we're talking about my mom. They would tell me. So luckily, my tonsil stones are not severe enough to cause social issues. But to me, they're disgusting, okay? And to make the matters even more disgusting, if I taste one or smell one—disgusting—
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I will shine a flashlight into my throat and look at my tonsil. And I'll take my long acrylic nail and I'll push my tonsil around and look and see if there's a little tonsil stone hidden on my tonsil. Now, you can see them very easily. They're not on the inside of the tonsil. They're on the outside. It's almost like having a pimple on your tonsil. And it's like a white little growth.
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Now, mine are very small, usually. Mine never get that big, which is great. But I can still find them and remove them. And removing it consists of picking it out with my nail, spitting out the excess, and then gargling with salt water until it's really clean back there, and then moving on with my day. So let's go back in time to 5 p.m. working at my desk. I taste a tonsil stone in my mouth.
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I have a little mirror in my office. It's there for decor purposes, not really there for a functional mirror, but just adds a bit of texture to the room. For the first time in my life, I decide, you know, I'm actually going to use this mirror because I think I can taste a tonsil stone. And I start flashing my, you know, flashlight into my throat to try to get this thing out.
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And I'm looking around and I'm looking around and it's clearly in one of the folds or it's not big enough to see yet, you know, one or the other. So I'm like really digging in there. And I will say, you know, I have a pretty good gag reflex, like not to be weird. But I can really dig my finger back there and get in there. You know what I mean? And I'll gag a little bit, but I'm pretty good.
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I have a good tolerance for that. So I'm really getting in there. My eyes are watering. It's getting intense, okay? I'm really digging and... really making myself gag, but I was like, I need to find this thing. It's like really bothering me. And honestly, I was also kind of procrastinating. I was like, I don't really want to be working right now on my computer.
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I'd much rather be doing something else. So let me just like spend an hour trying to get out this tonsil stone that I can't even find apparently. All of a sudden, the unthinkable happens. The unthinkable happens. I projectile vomit, I kid you not, onto the floor. Actually, not just on the floor, on the rug in my office, on the curtains in my office, on the wall. I mean, I was in shock, okay?
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I've tested my gag reflex enough. I've never thrown up and I've pushed myself to the limit. I thought I had it. What? Throw up all over the floor. Not just like a cute little bit. No, no, no. My entire lunch from a few hours. But it was an unbelievable tragedy. I'm glad no one else was there, okay? Because it was a tough cleanup process.
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I know I personally find myself feeling like, oh my God, I'm a freak and no one knows. I feel like an imposter. I'm putting off this facade to the world that I'm cool, I'm cute, I'm clean. Actually, nobody thinks I'm clean, and nobody has since I was a teenager. When I one time said on the internet that I don't like to shower... that has stuck with me.
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There's only one person on the planet who I would allow to do it. It's me. I don't even think I'd allow my mother to clean that up. And I'd let her clean up a lot because she's my mom. And I still am like, mommy, you know, but no, that was even, I, that's a, that's a mess only you can clean up. It was unbelievable.
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It was a freak accident, but it was one of those scenarios where I was like, oh my God, thank God no one else is here. Like randomly throwing up. Oh my God, I've been having like a lot of weird random throw up incidences recently. Like alcohol all of a sudden making me throw up after one glass of wine. That is not an exaggeration.
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everyone is gross and weird
Go listen to my episode about my alcohol intolerance, question mark. Apparently, I have that now. Self-diagnosed. Should probably go get it tested before I jump to conclusions. But anyway, go listen to that conversation if you want. It's an episode from a week ago or two. Insane. Insane situation. So yeah, me accidentally throwing up everywhere in my office. You know what's so fucked up too?
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everyone is gross and weird
Normally I try to remove my tonsil stones in my bathroom because that's where all of my other mirrors are. So it was like this freak accident that I was in my office where there's a rug and there's a curtain. And it's like, you know, whereas if I would have done that in front of the sink in my bathroom, I would have then thrown up in the sink, which would have been...
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everyone is gross and weird
gross and whatever, and it's not ideal to throw up in the sink, but it's better than throwing up all over your, you know, beautiful rug. Luckily, that's a one-off story. Let's move on to a reoccurring theme in my life. So I currently have bleached blonde hair. And in order to maintain the beautiful blonde color and not have it turn yellow, I use purple shampoo.
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everyone is gross and weird
If you've never bleached your hair or you've never been blonde and you don't know what that means, it's bright purple shampoo that you use in your hair every other shampoo and condition session. to basically deposit cool-toned pigments into your hair to counteract the warm tones that your hair naturally want to develop.
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It's kind of hard to explain and it's weird, but basically like if you don't continue to deposit cool tones into your hair, your hair will turn warm toned. And a lot of times that's not what you're going for, especially if you have blonde hair. So anyway, you have to use purple shampoo.
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everyone is gross and weird
And the catch is with purple shampoo and conditioner is that you need it to sit on your hair for anywhere from two to five minutes, right? So every few showers, I am left with five minutes to kill. And a lot of times I don't want to shave my legs. So you want to know what I do? I lay on the ground. I just lay on the ground in my shower.
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And I know that this sounds somewhat normal, but like, I need you to imagine me like, I'm such a, I'm so lazy. that instead of just kind of standing there like a normal person, waiting the five minutes, I cannot bear that. I have to lay on the ground. And so I'm laying flat on the ground in the shower. And usually when I get down there, I get really cold.
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So then I'm adjusting the temperature every like five to 10 seconds for the next, at least for a minute out of that, trying to get the temperature comfortable. Then my legs will start to get cold. So then I'll like lay down with my legs crunched in. And so the water's hitting my legs.
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And then I'll realize like, oh, fuck, like I think my hair is getting wet and I don't want my purple shampoo and conditioner to wash out. So then I'm like kind of like putting my hands under my head in the shower. Then like my tailbone and back start to hurt because I'm like laying on the ground. So then I'll like try to sit. But then my hair is getting wet. So then I lay down again.
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And people have thought of me as unhygienic for the remainder of my career. So maybe my feelings are irrational because people actually do think that I'm gross and weird. So that's kind of nice. But people don't know how gross and weird I am. People don't know how We are the only ones who are with ourselves 24 hours a day, seven days a week, to see every single side of ourselves.
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everyone is gross and weird
And then I'm like laying on my side. And then I'm like, what am I even doing? Like, I should probably just stand up. Then I stand up again. Then I'm like, I don't want to stand up. I still have like two more minutes. So then I sit back down. Then I lay back down. Like if somebody were to sit there and watch me try to kill five minutes in the shower, it is a catastrophe.
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everyone is gross and weird
I need to figure out something to do. Like I either need to get like a shower mat so that I can lay down comfortably in the shower or I need to get like a shower chair or something. It sounds ridiculous, but my current routine is clearly not working. And it looks fucking weird. I know it looks weird.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everyone is gross and weird
It might not sound that weird, but if you were to be sitting there and watching me, you'd be like, she is a fucking freak. She's like changing the temperature. She can't get it right. She's like moving every 10 to 15 seconds. Like just fucking choose a position, you know? Speaking of lying down in the shower and it being kind of unusual, I also will lie down in random unexpected areas of my house.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everyone is gross and weird
Like I'll be in my closet getting dressed and I'll be like, I'm tired. And I'll sit down in my closet that has, you know, some carpet in there and I'll lay on the floor in silence for like five minutes or Or like the other day, I was in a kind of an emotional mood, which I hadn't been in in a while.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everyone is gross and weird
And I was feeling sort of sentimental, which is something that happens, you know, sometimes when I'm alone. And I was standing by my dining room table and I saw my little kitty walking up to me, Declan, my little orange kitty, the boy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everyone is gross and weird
My little boy kitty, he's walking up towards me and I sit on the ground and then I lay on the ground and I call him over to me and I make my little kitty lay with me on the ground for like five minutes. I'm crying. I start crying for some reason. Again, if somebody fucking watched this, I think it would be a little bit unusual. Like I'm pretending to be a normal human. Everything is as usual.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everyone is gross and weird
I'm in my garage. Okay. Another example. I'm in my garage organizing my garage. My garage has a lot of junk in it and mainly stuff that I'm sent, which I've talked about this briefly before, but like you'll hear a lot of people say this once they are in the public eye or there are any sort of public figure. The second you become a public figure, you just start getting sent stuff.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
everyone is gross and weird
And I'm even guilty of this myself. I have a brand. I've worked with brands. I've created products. And I've sent them to other public figures. I'm guilty of doing this myself. But you end up just having a lot of stuff. So I have just a garage filled with a lot of stuff. And a lot of it ends up getting donated. Some of it ends up getting kept.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I think the moral dilemma that I'm faced with most often is whether or not to choose convenience. I'm not just faced with this moral dilemma on a weekly basis or even a daily basis. No, I'm faced with this moral dilemma on an hourly basis. Okay, almost every single decision I make throughout my day somehow relates to this moral dilemma.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
But I will go eat out at a restaurant because I absolutely love it. But guess what? Because I'm not ordering restaurant food all week long on food delivery apps, when the weekend comes around, I'm so excited to eat out. I'm so excited. And it's such... an incredible experience and the food tastes even better and I'm just, it's great. But that's not the only type of food delivery, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
There's also grocery delivery. This I definitely do use a bit more often. However, I try not to. I really try to only use grocery delivery when it's like, okay, I just worked a 15 hour day or something doing something like I was at a shoot or something. Or, you know, I am about to travel and I have to get a certain amount of things done. I've like deadlines for things that I need to finish them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
So I'm like working for a long time and I just don't have time to go to the grocery store. You know, there are times when, to me, it makes sense to get groceries delivered because I'm still ultimately cooking everything from scratch. But I avoid it as much as possible. And, you know, when it comes to grocery shopping, like, I love the experience of grocery shopping. And I always have.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Like, this is not even a new thing. But it's always been like, I love the experience of grocery shopping, but I'm too lazy. Now it's like, okay, last resort, we're ordering the groceries. Or like, it's an emergency. Not an emergency. Like, oh my God, I forgot to buy this one thing. I need to get it now. But that's rare. You know, like majority of the time I'm going to the store.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I'm walking through the aisles myself. I'm socializing with the people. Not really. Socializing meaning like smiling at somebody if I catch them looking at me or something. Or like, saying an extra warm hello to the cashier, like whatever. But it's just nice to be in that environment, to be around other people, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Another sort of change that I've made is I've gone from primarily shopping online to primarily shopping in person. Okay. So like, yes, I talked about food and groceries and all that. This is like about like clothes or I need to pick up like stuff from Sephora. You know what I'm saying? This is like everything else. I used to be the most insane online shopper. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
And I'll be honest, I still online shop. There are things that I can only get online. There are times when I really just don't have time to go to... Listen, yes, but I would say that my default mode of shopping nowadays is shopping in person. And whenever I can shop in person, I do. And that was not always the case, okay? I really do like that it gets me out of the house and puts me in the world.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I also love that I get to see and touch and feel things in person. Like if I'm buying clothes or buying makeup or something, it's so nice to be in store and to touch things and to feel things and to see new products and to truly experience the shopping experience. Whereas when you're shopping online, it's very two-dimensional. You just get to see it. You don't get to feel it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
You don't get to look at it with a flashlight if you want. You don't get to like try it on. You don't get to do any of that. You just have to use your fucking imagination. And majority of the time when it shows up, you're not even 100% satisfied with it because it rarely lives up to your expectations. It's so helpful to experience a product before you buy it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Now, let's get back to the episode. When I was younger and my prefrontal cortex was less developed, I always just automatically chose convenience. I ordered food delivery. I ordered everything online. I socialized through looking at social media and watching YouTube videos. I wore pajamas and comfy clothes as often as I could.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
And not only does this make you a smarter shopper, but again, it gets you out in the world. Like running errands, being around people, even when you're not talking to other people is so comforting. It's weirdly rejuvenating in a way, like being around people, being at home by yourself around no one all the time is, in my opinion, depleting. That will deplete you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Even if you're introverted, at a certain point, that will deplete you. You know, there's something nice about being around people and you don't even need to socialize with them, right? It's just nice to be around people, to see people, to walk down the fucking street. And these are all things that used to be standard.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
We all did them all the time, but more and more so, we don't have to do them anymore. And it's so important to get back out there and go to the fucking store. I briefly pause this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Walmart. The rumors are true, girls. This spring, Walmart is making it easy to dress like the main character you are.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Another lifestyle shift, getting dressed before I leave the house. I used to wear sweatpants and pajamas anytime I could. Like anytime it was remotely acceptable, I would. And that's also somewhat of a new thing. It used to be completely unacceptable to wear pajamas out, to wear sweatpants out. 100 years ago? Fuck no. Even like 50 years ago, probably not. It was unacceptable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Now you can wear whatever you want. You can wear your pajamas. You can wear a sweat set all you want. And listen, if I'm going to a workout class or I'm coming from a workout class and I like stop at the grocery store, okay, listen, I'm not going to be wearing an outfit. I'm not going to, I'm going to be in sweatpants because I just went to a workout. Um, and I'm grateful for that convenience.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
If you are watching the video episode of this, you can see that I now have, or I did for a brief moment, have two cats on my lap. And that is where I draw the line. Frankie, you're blocking the camera. Okay, whatever. It's fine.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I am grateful that it is now socially acceptable to wear sweatpants in public because, again, post-workout, if I want to run an errand, I'm glad that I don't need to put a fancy outfit on after getting super sweaty. That's unnecessary to me. But majority of the time, if I'm going to get my nails done or going to run an errand or whatever, I will put on
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
an outfit and like I still have like comfy outfits like don't get me wrong I'm not like in a suit okay but I'm not wearing full on pajamas you know what I'm saying I really try to get dressed as often as I can and I have a few pairs of these pants okay I'm actually wearing a pair right now that are technically sweatpants, but they actually look like a chic cotton straight leg pant.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Those are technically sweatpants, but to me, those are like dressed up. Like I would even wear them to dinner perhaps. Maybe not, maybe not. But to lunch, to brunch, sure. So like I have my ways to be comfortable and convenient even when getting a bit dressed up. But like it feels good to feel presentable. And that's something that I didn't always value. But I find that I feel more confident.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
That was the way I lived for a really, really long time until I started to notice that these convenient choices were actually making me feel depressed and unhappy. It was sort of isolating me. You know, like if you're ordering everything to your door, you never have to leave the house. Also, I noticed I was not healthy. I wasn't eating healthy. I wasn't moving my body very often.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I feel more myself because I'm like expressing myself through my clothes. it's fun to like put on an outfit, whether it's a new outfit that I just put together or it's an outfit that I've worn for the last two weeks that I just really like. And every time I put it on, it makes me feel good. There's just something about it that I think is empowering.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
And I like getting dressed, even though it is sometimes a bit of extra work. It's maybe a bit less comfortable sometimes, but I love it. I love getting dressed. I love getting dressed. And that's coming from somebody who used to wear like fleece pajama pants every day to middle school.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Actually, I don't think that they allowed me to wear the fleece pajama pants, but the second that school ended, I would put them on. Like I would even sometimes like have them in my backpack so that the second school ended, I could go in the bathroom and change into them and like go hang out with my friends in my sweatpants or in my pajama pants. You know what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Like, I've always loved being comfortable. And I'm growing up and wearing normal clothes now. So good for me. Speaking of clothes, I've also started mending my clothes when they fall apart instead of just, I don't know, taking it to a tailor or... or buying a new one. Like, listen, there are times when I cannot fix a problem, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Like if a pair of pants rips completely like down the crotch and, and the button fell off and, and there's a huge hole, I might not be able to fix that myself. But like a little rip here, a little rip there, I am mending my clothes myself. I'm not just immediately taking them to a tailor or throwing them out or not even throwing them out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I would never throw out clothes, but like donate them or like whatever. I used to be so fucking lazy, okay? And the second that something like had a rip in it, I was like, oh, it's done. No, it's not. That's ridiculous. You know, it's a little bit inconvenient to like fix your clothes or whatever, but that's normal. That's what we're supposed to do. Yeah.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Emma, you fucking lazy sack of shit, wasteful idiot. Sorry. We should be nice to ourselves, but it's true. It's like, that is so incredibly wasteful and I don't know, just like narrow minded. Like we can fix things ourself. It's not that hard to fix a hole. And I found that mending my own clothing is Not in like big ways, but like, you know, refastening a button or fixing a small hole.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I found that it has bonded me to my clothing. Like my favorite pair of pants got a little hole, like the seam kind of ripped in like the hip area. And I was devastated. I was like, oh my God, what am I going to do? And then I was like, wait, I'm going to sew it myself. The fuck? Another example, I think I bought a jacket and the button I noticed was falling off.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
And instead of being like, I need to take this back. This thing is ruined. I just sewed the button back on myself. It's all good. I'm not an idiot. I can sew a button on. And the connection that I'm building with my wardrobe now is so much more intimate and meaningful because I am taking care of these pieces of clothing. And it feels good to be connected to your belongings.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Like that's a warm and fuzzy good feeling. And it's very rewarding. You know what else I've been doing? Taking the stairs. If I see an elevator, I'm like, where's the stairs? This also is because I'm trying to get 10,000 steps a day. So I'm always trying to walk as much as I can, but it's also a good workout. It's a little booty burn in the middle of the day.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
And that's kind of fun, you know, like to get a little sweat in randomly at 1 PM. Like I'm at, I don't know, like my doctor's office and it's on the seventh floor. Okay. I'm going to take the fucking stairs, you know? Oh, I'm going to a meeting in this big fancy building. 20 flights of stairs. I'm a little bit early. Let's try. Okay. Let's try it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Like it's, it's a little teensy little workout, but that type of stuff compounds over time and can have incredible results. Like because I take the stairs so much now, now walking up the stairs is so easy. And when I first started doing it, it was exhausting and I hated it. And now I love it and I sweat, but I like feel strong and it's so fun. I like look forward to the stairs.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Take the stairs, people, if you can. Why not? I've also pretty much completely eliminated convenient entertainment during the day. At night, I'll let myself watch a little TV. I'll maybe watch a little bit of YouTube, especially if I'm with somebody else. Like if I'm hanging out with someone, Let's watch TV. Let's watch a little YouTube. On my own though, not so much.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I was very sedentary and I was eating a lot of unhealthy foods that I was getting delivered that were delicious. But, you know... Or like eating Cheez-Its for dinner because it was convenient. Like I wasn't healthy. I didn't feel healthy. And I just overall felt sort of depressed by it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
And during the day, absolutely not. Like during the workday, fuck no. No YouTube, no Instagram reels, no YouTube shorts, no television. I'm not even really listening to podcasts. Like it is music only. And the reason for that is convenient entertainment when abused is Like it rewires your brain and it makes you not creative.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Like I find that when I'm constantly consuming convenient entertainment, I feel uninspired and like sort of empty in my brain. It like weirdly depletes me mentally and I'm not quite sure why, but it does. Not only is that bad for my job, but it also is a waste of time and it makes me depressed and it doesn't fulfill me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
When you're not abusing convenient entertainment, you're forced to be entertained by getting work done or sitting around daydreaming, using your imagination or listening to music or doing a little bit of art, cooking something. I don't know, you're like, you're forced to be entertained by things that are actually net positive in your life. Do you know what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
That actually make you feel good, that are actually fulfilling for you. And I've found that is absolutely true in my life. I'm overall just happier as a result And last but not least, instead of buying nut milk and sparkling water, two very specific niche things that I consume constantly, instead of buying these things from the store, I make them from scratch. Why?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Because, well, in the case of the sparkling water, it just feels wasteful to be like going through five cans of sparkling water a day. That's number one. But number two, I don't know, there's something kind of fun. Like I can control how carbonated my water is. I know like, oh, if I do three like pumps of the CO2 into the water, it's perfectly carbonated for me. Same thing with the nut milk.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I sweeten it myself. I put the perfect amount of sweetness in it. Just like... a little bit of maple syrup. I can flavor it with extracts. I can use whatever nuts I want. It's like personalized to me. But also again, I buy nut milk constantly. It's so much better to make it myself and not be going through like a bottle of it a day. It's like unnecessary waste, I guess.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
And listen, I'm wasteful in other ways. I'm not some sort of fucking saint. But I think, in my opinion, you don't need to be a perfect saint. You don't need to choose the less convenient option 100% of the time when it comes to consuming products that come in packaging. It's impossible to produce zero waste as a human being, unfortunately.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
But it's about like, oh, this makes sense in my lifestyle. And so, hey, fuck it. Like I might as well do it. Like this makes more logical sense. And like little efforts like that are better than nothing. You know what I mean? And I feel like people tend to be very all or nothing. Like who cares? Like, you know, or like Emma, you're being wasteful in other ways.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Stop like praising yourself for, you know, making your own nut milk and making your own sparkling water. You're only like, you're barely even helping and you still, you make a bunch of other ways. Sure I do, but it's better than nothing. Karen? Or maybe Karen, what would a Karen say? I don't know. Anyways.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
It took a bit of time to realize that perhaps the feelings of depression were caused by how convenient my life is. Which sounds ridiculous because I think most of us think of convenience as like something that enhances life, makes life easier and better and gives us more time to do, you know, the things that we really want to do. But that wasn't my reality.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
So those are some examples of how I've introduced inconvenience into my life, possibly for the first time. And there's probably more inconveniences that I've introduced into my life, but I can't remember. So those are all the ones that I can remember for now. And I am constantly striving to introduce more. By introducing all these inconveniences, I've absolutely reinstilled purpose into my life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
These inconveniences make me more present in my life, reconnect me to the journey. Like, I feel like when you choose the convenient option, you miss out on the journey. inconvenience oftentimes creates a journey. It creates adventure. And that was mentioned in the article that I just read to you. Inconvenience sparks adventure, without a doubt. It's pretty profound how it does that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
You know what I mean? My life feels like more of an adventure since I've introduced these inconveniences. But that's not to say that I don't still choose the convenient options sometimes. I absolutely do. There are some conveniences that I do not want to give up, that perhaps other people would be open to giving up, but I don't want to give these things up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I'm never going to stop using my appliances, my phone, my computer. Uh, my dishwasher, my ice maker, my electric kettle, my microwave, my water heater, my car, like the list goes on. There are so many convenient pieces of technology that I will never give up. I don't want to give them up. There are some people who are like, I'll get a flip phone. I don't want to get a flip phone. Why?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Because I love maps. I love being able to use navigation. I love FaceTime. I love, I don't actually love FaceTime, but I love that it's an option. I love being able to work on my phone on the fly. I love, I love my phone. Some people are like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm just going to start taking cold showers. That doesn't make sense for me. Like I love a hot, warm, comfortable shower.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
And I find that fascinating because if I had been born 200 years ago, I'd never face this moral dilemma. Whether or not to choose convenience wasn't a moral dilemma back then because life was incredibly inconvenient. And anytime convenience was an option, it was common sense to choose it. Whereas now, life is unbelievably convenient.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Are there some benefits to a cold shower? Is it sort of a psychological challenge that can potentially benefit you? Are there even probably health benefits? Probably. But I don't care. That's not an inconvenience that I'm inspired to integrate into my life. I don't think it would actually benefit my life. I live in Los Angeles. I'm not going to downgrade to a bike, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I need to drive everywhere. I'm not going to say, you know what? I'm only going to travel by bike because it's more inconvenient and it's an adventure. It would definitely be an adventure, but that's not an adventure I want to go on. Another thing, I love apps. I love Spotify for music, okay? I love being able to open that and listen to any song I want. It's incredibly convenient and it's awesome.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
And I'm not trying to eliminate that convenience from my life. Same thing with, again, I keep mentioning the Maps app, like GPS apps. Are you kidding me? What would we do without them? No, that's not going anywhere for me. Calculator app, like what? Am I gonna start carrying around a calculator in my bag? No, like I love apps. I also eat quite a few like semi-processed foods.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Okay, I'm not cooking everything from scratch. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
What had happened to me was convenience didn't give me more time to do things that fulfilled me and made my life worth living, but instead just made me lazy and I wasn't really doing anything. Yeah. I sort of came to the conclusion like, wait, this is not the way I should be making decisions anymore. My default shouldn't be convenience. I need to sort of rethink this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
And so very intuitively, I made the decision to start considering less convenient options, to open my mind to inconvenient options, to kind of push myself to be more of a functioning human being who actually does things themselves. you know, just to see how it'd make me feel. And it truly did help me. At the time, I did this all very intuitively. Like I wasn't thinking about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I wasn't like, this was truly just me noticing a pattern in myself, me noticing that like, Certain behaviors are making me unhappy and then making it change. But I actually did research on it recently because I was like, I don't know. Is anyone talking about this? And people are talking about it. I found this incredible article from Betsy Reed at The Guardian.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
And let me read some snippets from it and then we can discuss. Evolutionary mismatch is the notion that we evolved for a hunter-gatherer lifestyle and that while our circumstances have changed drastically, our brains and bodies haven't. It says that our instincts are often horribly incompatible with our environment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
This almost makes me feel better about the fact that for so many years I chose convenience as my default. We're clearly wired to do that. None of us, we don't need to be feeling guilty about the fact that we love convenience. We're literally wired to love convenience. So let's all be easy on ourselves, okay? We're not that lazy. We're lazy, but we're lazy biologically.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Like this is, we're supposed to be this way. We were born and bred this way. Anyway, back to the article. Resistance was a necessary counterbalance to the intense flurries of activity that punctuated hunter-gatherer life. Foraging for food in driving rain or running to escape a dangerous animal. It's the reason we still ask, do I really have to be doing this? Shouldn't I save my energy?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
The people who are inclined to remain sheltered during a blizzard when the prospect of obtaining food was low were more likely to live and pass on their genes to the next generation. And since those guys are our ancestors, we've inherited that disposition. Right. It's like, come on, you guys. We are lazy for a reason. We're prone to laziness for a reason. So be gentle with yourself. OK. OK.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Back to the article. More advanced technologies undoubtedly have their pleasures and opportunities, too. But there's evidence to suggest that contemporary hyper convenience can also make our lives more, not less difficult. The sense of safety you get from staying home can make it more anxiety-inducing to go out later.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
The relief of avoiding an uncomfortable conversation with your spouse makes that conversation even harder to have subsequently. Using a dating app to avoid the awkwardness of flirting only weakens your social skills over time. Modern hyper-convenience is a kind of deal with the devil. It is seductive because it appeals to our instincts, but it serendipitously... That is a word I can't read.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
But it serendipitously depletes us. It has made it easier to get by, but in many ways, harder to truly succeed. Human flourishing and happiness is not just about substance, but also depends on growth, dynamic problem solving, and solidarity through hardship. What a beautiful and incredible article from Betsy Reid at the fucking Guardian. She just spoke truth with that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I mean, listen, it's still in some ways inconvenient, but compared to how it used to be, life is unbelievably convenient, okay? We can order anything to our door whenever we want. Unless you live in like a random tiny house on a deserted island, you can probably order something and it'll probably show up in less than a week. OK, there's an appliance for everything, for everything.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
It was kind of comforting to read that in a way because I was like, oh, this all makes sense. There is a scientific explanation for why that lifestyle makes me depressed. No, I'm not the problem. It's sort of an evolutionary mismatch with who we are today and how we were wired to survive in the past. How beautiful it is to be explained by science.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I also found a little article from the National Library of Medicine on the negative side effects of a hyperconvenient life. To summarize, our diets are worse. We're less physically active. We lack social skills and we lack in essential skills like cooking and sewing and I don't know, problem solving in general.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Moral of the story is the hyper-convenient life that we have found ourselves in is not necessarily good for us. We've taken it to an extreme and life is now just a little bit too convenient. And that's not good for us in our brains, in our bodies. Um, and I caught onto this on my own by some miracle. Like I felt that and I was like, okay, I need to fix this. And I did.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
And over the last, I don't know, few years, maybe I have reintroduced inconvenience into my life in a multitude of ways. And I've found so much beauty in it. And I'm going to share some examples with you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
You know, I noticed this the other day when I was making my morning coffee because I recently switched from a sort of automatic coffee machine, espresso machine, to a super manual espresso machine. Okay, so like what I used to have was, it was a Breville, incredible machine. I loved it. Where basically the machine would dose out the perfect amount of coffee grounds for you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
You tamp it with an automatic tamper. There's like... you know, normally at like a cafe or something, you'll see the barista weighing out the beans and like doing all this stuff and like, uh, you know, tamping it by hand with that tamper. Like they put their elbow up in the air and they squish it down. You know, this thing literally had an automatic tamper.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
So you press a button for all the grinds to come out and then you have this tamper on the side and you press it down and then you just twist it into the machine and press another button. And next thing you know, you have beautiful espresso. Okay. So easy. But I recently, after many years, I finally felt ready to upgrade. I'm ready to truly master the art of being a barista. I'm ready to learn.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I'm ready to elevate to the next level. You know, I don't need to be a home barista anymore. Okay. Let's level up. Okay. I have a fucking coffee company for fuck's sake. Let's level the fuck up. So I did to a very fancy machine, like a barista, like cafe level machine.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
This is something that as a coffee company founder, I should have fucking gone a long time ago, but I had to do so much research to figure out how to use this machine properly. It was like multiple weeks of of learning to even just prepare for the machine to arrive. And then the machine arrived and it was like, okay, now I actually have to use it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
And working out all the kinks of using it and mastering, not even mastering, sorry, being able to even just use the machine took like, I'm still figuring it out. But you know what's really funny? Even though my morning coffee routine takes probably five, 10 minutes longer than it used to,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Even though I went from like, honestly, two steps to closer to like 10, I have never enjoyed making my morning coffee more. The experience is so detailed to like the gram of beans to the like millimeter size of the coffee grounds. Like it's so detailed. It's so intimate and it's so manual. Like I have to do every single little thing myself. I'm measuring the grind size and getting it perfect.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
You need help with something. There's probably an appliance for that. And on a daily basis, I am faced with the choice to take the convenient route or perhaps the less convenient route. But this was not always a dilemma that I faced. Thank you so much. Feed by hand for a playful moment, in a bowl for a creamy treat, or as a topper to make mealtime fun. Visit TemptationsTreats.com to learn more.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I'm doing the tests with the machine and with the grinds to get it to the perfect. I'm doing it all. And it's so much work. And sometimes it's fucking seven in the morning and I'm tired. And because there's too much moisture in the air, now for some reason, the coffee, the espresso's not extracting properly. The grinds were too...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
like small and like, I don't know, like weird shit happens like that, that I don't even fully fucking understand still. And I have to go and readjust things manually and use my knowledge. I fucking love it. The whole experience has truly connected me to my coffee. It's so intimate. I feel so much more excited about my coffee every day. It feels special. It feels like this little work of art.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I worked so hard on this little shot of espresso. It gives it brand new meaning in my heart and in my mind. I mean, but the same thing goes for matcha. Like I used to use the electric whisk for the matcha, which is not how it's, you know, traditionally done. Traditionally you use a bamboo handheld whisk, but I was always too lazy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
And I use the electric whisk because I use the electric whisk for many different things in my caffeinated beverages routine. And I was like, well, you know, I'll just use it here too. No, I I'm totally on the bamboo whisk now. It's, it's, there's something about the, the manual nature of it that just connects you with the beverage. Yeah. Next, I have started taking road trips.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
OK, I used to almost always choose a plane ride over a road trip. Like if I was, say, going to Northern California, that's a six hour drive in a one hour flight. I would always choose the flight. But I found that road trips are so much more fulfilling.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
There's something about a road trip that is so fun, like stopping to get gas, going into the gas station, getting a snack, calling people when you're on the road, or if you're on a road trip with somebody else, having long, fun conversations, entertaining yourself with an album or a podcast or something. There's something more fulfilling about a road trip. You're grounded on the earth.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
in a meditative state. You're getting to see the world like out your window. You don't have a choice. You're forced to stare at the world around you for, you know, however many hours. There's something really beautiful about it. And even if you're going on a long distance sort of road trip, no worries. Break it up into three stops. You know, you don't have to do it all in one go.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Enjoy the journey. Stop in a random city for a night. This is my new vibe. It's absolutely less convenient. And it doesn't always make sense. Like, if I'm traveling for work, if, you know, I have a tight schedule, okay, it doesn't always make sense. But when I can, I'm road tripping. And I've found that it's so much more adventurous. It feels so much more adventurous. And I...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I end up having more fun. I also have kind of a crippling fear of flying on planes these days, so that is an added bonus, but that's not why I pivoted towards the road trip. And it's ironic because driving in a car is technically so much more dangerous, but I don't know. I'm loving the road trip. Road trip when you can, okay? I really don't order food delivery anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I used to order food delivery for almost every single meal. When I first moved to Los Angeles, it was like, what kind of fun meal can I have now? Like it was too fun. But like I was ordering a lot of fancy meals because I could because it was all on Postmates and there's a lot of fancy food in Los Angeles.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Like if I wanted to order like a gorgeous breakfast with like gorgeous potatoes that took four hours to make and like, you know, perfectly scrambled eggs and like I could do that. And I did a lot of times. And it made me like, I stopped appreciating the art of a beautifully cooked meal because I was eating a beautifully cooked meal all the time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
I was eating restaurant food so often that going to a restaurant, I was like, this is literally just my normal diet. I eat this food all the time. And that's not how it's supposed to be. Unless you are an actual chef yourself or you're married to a chef or something, that's not normal. Not only did it make me feel like shit physically, like I just genuinely felt bad, but I was actually unhealthy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
Like it was not a healthy lifestyle at all. It started by like, okay, I'm gonna order food delivery less and order healthier options. And I did that for a few years. And then more recently, I just deleted food delivery apps off of all of my devices. Okay. So that's not even an option.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the convenience paradox
And if I really, for some reason, like have to order food delivery for some reason, or it's like really a fun idea, like a good example would be recently my friends and I were watching an award show and we were like, oh, like let's order dinner. And it was like a fun novelty. Like, fuck it, let's order some pizza. And it was a delight, but I appreciated it so much because I never get to do it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Sorry if I seem a bit frazzled, but I went through sort of a traumatic event like 30 minutes ago. And so I'm just, I'm feeling a bit frazzled. Let me show you what happened. So 30 minutes ago or so, give or take, I was making myself a smoothie, a raspberry banana vanilla smoothie to be exact. Actually, I'll just give you the recipe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I don't necessarily think has any like one particular definition, but I do think that something that is too goofy, too silly, that's not going to be timeless. Like it might be sort of entertaining in the moment, but I think people are going to look back and be like, oh, you know, like that was kind of funny, but like not super chic. I
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I personally think that the way that we take something like a classic gown and take it to the next level is by getting a little bit weird with it. Adding flowers sticking out, adding a bird on the shoulder, adding... adding a slipper on the back of the dress, you know, like adding these elements that are smart and subtle, but yet really powerful and interesting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I think sculptural elements can take things to the next level. I think for the most part, timeless. I'm gonna say 80% timeless. Whereas really exaggerated shapes, big shoulders, big skirt, really big bulbous, like whatever the fuck, you know what I'm talking about. That is like 25% timeless. Like it's, it's timeless 25% of the time. And these two things are very similar, but yet they're different.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Like I felt like there was a bunch of like floaties floating around in my eye. I was like, geez, my eye is acting up intensely all of a sudden. And so I decided to look in a mirror. Okay. So I walk up to the mirror and my left eye is like swollen shot, beet red, super red. And I was like, oh, okay. So I look a little bit closer and I'm like, geez, like I've never seen my eye this bloodshot before.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Okay. Let's move on to mini dress. Yeah. The mini dress. I'm talking about like mini dress. Okay. I'm talking about, you know, like mini skirt length short. I'm sorry. Everybody's going to be like, Emma, you're a Karen. You're so old fashioned. But I am going to say I don't think it's timeless. Do I think it can be so cute? Yes. Yes, I do think it can be so cute.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And sometimes I love a little mini dress. And sometimes that's what I want to wear on a carpet. Not really, though, actually. I've never worn a mini dress on the carpet. And to be honest, I don't think I will because I mean, listen, I never want to say never because you never know. And like something might speak to me one day and it might just make sense. But to me, a mini dress is informal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And again, I know I sound old-fashioned or whatever, but it's informal. And to be honest, I'm all about reinventing dress codes or reinventing the norm for things. I'm all about it. I'm so open-minded. I'm excited. I'm there, okay? But... I just think there's something about a long gown, a full piece, right? That is just so elegant to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And I think a mini dress can never reach that level of intrigue of elegance. Like it just, it'll never, I don't know. It always sort of feels like a party dress, right? It's very hard. I don't know that you can elevate a mini dress into something that feels formal. And that really is what red carpet events are. They're very formal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I think in general for a red carpet event, I personally wouldn't want to go any shorter than like ankle length. You know what I mean? Anything shorter than ankle for a gown specifically? I just don't know. I mean, listen, I have worn some really weird experimental stuff on carpets before, like leather underwear. Anyway, we can talk about that later, maybe if it comes up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And that's sort of an exception. Although that red carpet event was much less formal. It was actually a party. I don't know. It was like a red carpet for a party. Anyway, whatever. I just think a longer dress is always going to look more chic than a mini dress. And I just don't think a mini dress is timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I think right now when we see a little mini dress on the carpet, we're like, but I think in like a year it'll be like, oh, do you know what I'm saying? It has a little bit of time left, but it's it's it's about to go out. And then it'll come back in in like another 10, 20 years or whatever. But I don't know. Not timeless to me. Okay, next we have full rhinestone gown.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
This is like a really popular style of gown that I see a lot on red carpets. And I actually have worn a gown like this before. There's usually like two kinds of full rhinestone gowns. And when I say full rhinestone gown, I'm not talking about like a full red rhinestone gown. No. I'm talking about a full rhinestone, no like color. It's just like diamond. Do you know what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And it's either a bunch of diamonds on like mesh. So you do see a bit of skin through, or it's just a gown that's completely covered from head to toe in crystals. Okay. Or rhinestones or whatever. This is a very popular style of gown. I was just looking at a red carpet event that happened. I was just scrolling through and And I saw probably three or four, right? They are very popular.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I've worn one before and it was beautiful. To be honest, I actually do think this is a timeless gown. In fact, I think it's one of the only times that rhinestones slash crystals are timeless is in this style of gown where it's just like the whole thing is sparkly, you know, like the whole thing is covered in diamonds. Do I like this? I don't hate it. That's for sure. I don't hate it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
It doesn't make me cringe, but I will say it's such a popular style of gown that every time I see it, I'm like, I've seen a lot of those recently and I am not excited by this really. You know, it's not very exciting. It's very hard to reinvent that. I mean, there's different ways to reinvent it, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Like sometimes you'll have a full rhinestone gown that's like literally fully covered in rhinestones and crystals, right? It's like there is not one speck of skin, right? You can't see any skin. And then there's others where, you know, it's on sort of a see-through sort of mesh. So like the rhinestones are more spread out, still in like some sort of organized pattern, but more spread out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And And then I decided to look for the hair. I was like, there must be a hair in there, either a cat hair or whatever. And so I pull my, you know, my eye down to kind of look around and I see a little hair. And so I'm like trying to get out the hair, but then I look closer at the left side of my left eye. So like, you know, the left side of the eye and I notice what looks like a blister on my eye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
The silhouette can change. Maybe sometimes it's like a long sleeve gown or maybe it's like a tank toppy looking gown. I don't know the name of the necklines. Sometimes it's like a tube toppy looking one. Sure, there's ways to switch it up, but for the most part, it always kind of looks the same. And it's flattering for the most part.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
But I look at the people wearing those gowns and I'm like, I know how heavy that thing is. That thing is a thousand pounds. So it's not comfortable. But none of this stuff is really. It's not supposed to be. Yeah, I don't know. Like, I do think it's timeless. I just am not super passionate about it personally, even though I have worn one before. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Next we have rhinestones in general, like any sort of colored crystal. Okay. So now this is its own category because I think these are two very different things happening. Okay. We have like classic neutral, you know, rhinestones slash crystals, and then you have any sort of color with crystals, right? Like, so that would be, for example...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
a beautiful long blue gown that has a bunch of, you know, crystals or rhinestones on it. I'm not going to lie. I don't love it. And listen, you can look back. You can look up photos of me. You will find rhinestones. You will find crystals. You will find these things. I've worn these things. I don't love it. I don't love it. And I don't think it's timeless, to be honest.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
The rhinestone, the crystal in particular, especially when it's like, when it's just, okay, when it's a classic like crystal, see-through, clear, fine. It's timeless. But when you start to like make it different colors, to me, it's not timeless anymore. And I might be wrong about this, but I really feel this way. It really often reads tacky, unless it's like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
a time in culture, I feel like where everything is really extra, you know, and really maximalist and really loud, then it can sort of fit in and make sense. But I don't know. I feel like when times are maybe a bit more subtle, maybe a bit more minimalist, the first thing that starts to look cringe is like, bright colors and rhinestones. And do you see what I'm saying? I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
A colored rhinestone to me is just, I don't like it. I just don't really like rhinestones in general or crystals. I just, it's tough. It can work. It can listen. I never want to say never because it can work, but for the most part I see it and I'm like, no, no, no. But especially when it's, when it's a color, I don't know why it's, I don't know why. Okay. Moving on to gloves.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Gloves are a very popular, you know, red carpet accessory, right? Like you'll wear, you know, a beautiful sort of shorter sleeved gown or tube top sleeveless gown. Tube top is so funny. Not the technical term. Sleeveless, I guess. You know, somebody will be wearing like a strapped or like sleeveless gown and then they'll be wearing beautiful matching gloves. I absolutely love this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
In fact, I need to text my stylist, Jared, and say, are we going to do gloves soon? Because I love gloves. I think that they are so beautiful. I think that they are so chic. I think that they are absolutely timeless. And I think there's something about it that like, you know, especially when it comes to red carpet, it feels old Hollywood to me. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I just think that there's something about it that's so elegant and so flattering that And I'm all about a glove. I think there's virtually nothing wrong with it. I should be clear. I'm talking about a long glove. I'm not talking about like, well, I think any glove is timeless, but I'm particularly talking about a long glove. Okay. Next we have funny stuff. Okay. Let me give you an example.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
So you know what I mean? This year, I don't know when it was during actor award season. I saw a picture of Emma Stone, the actress, of course. Wearing a beautiful red dress. Halter neck. And it had two pockets. on the side of it for popcorn. Genius. I fucking love that stuff. When, when things are truly funny and smart like that, I'm all about it. Okay. I'm all about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
a big like sack almost filled with fluid. And I was like, okay, now what's that? And I touch it a little bit, like kind of poke it a little bit. And it's like a fluid filled sack. And I'm like, oh my God, what is going on? And I have severe health anxiety. So seeing this to me, I was like, oh, okay. Something's really, really wrong. I call my mom. She doesn't answer. I call my dad.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Or even like someone's wearing a suit and like on the collar is like a printed bow tie. You know, it's not a real physical bow tie. It's like printed or the list goes on, but just anything with a bit of humor and But I think the key quality that makes it so special is when it's integrated into a genuinely cool, beautiful, interesting, well-done look.
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red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
It's not just like, oh, someone showed up to the red carpet and they're wearing, I don't know, like they're dressed up as like a horse. You know what I mean? Or something where it's like, okay, like that's funny. I appreciate that stuff. I think it can be entertaining and fun, but that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about something that's funny, but subtle, timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
This is timeless to me because it's a novelty. It's funny when somebody dresses up as a wizard. You know what I mean? They have like a wizard hat and they're wearing a wizard hat. Cape and they have like like if people do funny stuff like that, that's almost like a gag or a prank in a way like that's funny, but that's its own thing. That's actually also breaking dress code, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Like that's not technically what you're supposed to wear to a red carpet event. You're technically supposed to respect the dress code, which is, you know, formal black tie gown suits, this this type of stuff. Now, listen, people can say what they want about a dress code and that it's stupid and outdated or whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
But if somebody's throwing an event and they say, hey, I would really appreciate if you dress this way. I'm OK with following the dress code. You know what I mean? Like, I don't feel that's fine. It's their event. And if they want it to look and feel a certain way, fuck it. Sure. You know what I mean? So. Going and wearing a funny costume, it's funny. It's funny when a few people do it. It's fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
It's funny. It's entertaining. But it's not what I'm talking about here because that's fully just a whole other thing. That's breaking the dress code. I'm talking about being in dress code, but finding a way to make it funny. Now, this is challenging because, again, black tie formal wear, there's nothing funny about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
You know, it's all about having really beautiful, beautiful shapes, beautiful colors, everything about it's supposed to be beautiful. So if you can find a way to make it beautiful so that it matches the dress code, right? Tailored properly, made out of beautiful materials, using beautiful colors that compliment the person who's wearing it, personal features, whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
But then you can add a funny element. It's like genius. And to me, it's timeless because it's so hard to do, number one. And number two, because it is ultimately... like the perfect balance. Okay. Moving on revealing cutouts. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
So I'm talking about like, let's imagine a gown and then, you know, there's like a huge slit in the side showing sort of belly button and your, you know, rib and, and like side, you know, like the side, or you have one that's like, you know, maybe it's like a huge cutout in the back of a dress. Maybe you have like a long sleeve dress and it's like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
A big, big cutout in the back that reveals back, you know, like pretty much whole back and then maybe like a little bit of butt crack, you know, like that type of revealing cutout. Okay. This to me is 50-50 when it comes to timeless because it can be timeless. It totally can. I think what makes it timeless is if number one, it's tailored properly.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
A lot of times big gaping cutouts can ruin the structural integrity of a clothing piece, which makes complete sense because if you're cutting a piece out of what would be normally a fully formed garment, right? It obviously will be less structurally sound. You're cutting out piece of the clothing. It might start sitting weird. That's to be expected.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
He's like, everything's totally fine. I bet. I'm like, no, no, something's wrong with this. Anyway, my mom calls me back. I'm like, can you please? She has, we have a doctor that she's on text with. Because I have such bad health anxiety. And so she texts a picture to my doctor. And while we're waiting, you know, she's like, everything's going to be fine. This is like not a big deal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And so if the garment's not tailored properly to the person and it's like gaping weird, like there's like a it's like not sitting flat to the body or like, you know, maybe you can see like maybe like it's revealing underwear because it's like not it maybe is like too low on the hip or something or you know what I'm saying? Like
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
If it's not tailored properly, which is very common, I see that all the time with things that I've cut out, that can make it not timeless. Because it's, again, it's not a functional garment. It's not being worn properly, right? You know what? I'll use myself as a reference for this. Although this wasn't necessarily a cutout that was revealing, but it was just a revealing look, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I did one look like a year ago now probably where I wore this tiny little top. It was tiny, like an inch thick and it barely covered my boobies, okay? My boobies were out. And I loved that look, okay? But having that much boob out to me, I wore this look. I was so excited to wear this look. I don't regret this look. Do I think it's timeless? I don't, I don't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I already look back at it sometimes and I'm like, oh God, that was a lot of boob, wasn't it? Ooh, that was a lot of boob in a professional environment. That was a lot. That was a lot. And it was a fashion moment and I did love the look, but it was a lot of boob. And I think wearing super revealing stuff, it isn't always, I don't know, it just depends.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
It can sometimes seem a bit, well, especially if it's super revealing in a way where it's like, oh my God, a fashion faux pas could happen at any moment. It looks like her nipple is about to come out. You know what I mean? That is not timeless. When something looks like, oh my God, it's barely hiding her nipples, you know, or like it's barely covering her vagina. Like you see what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Like that, I'm sorry, it can't be timeless because it's so not functional. But, you know, like a cutout that shows midriff or like back or whatever that's like secure and well done and tastefully done, you know, and by tastefully, I mean like it's not like so extreme that like, A nipple could fall out at any moment or like a vagina lip could fall out. You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Like it's like a functioning garment. You know what I mean? Like things are secure because that's the point of clothing, I guess, right? Is like we're securing stuff. I think it can be timeless. So listen, I'm going to go ahead and say 50-50 on revealing cutouts. I think it really depends. There's a lot of variables involved.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
But I think trendy is super risque, barely, barely hiding the genitals and not well done, you know, just like not a well done cutout. And timeless would be tastefully done, properly done, not something that you'd be too embarrassed for your parents to see. That's actually a good gauge for like a revealing cutout. If you would be mortified for your parents to see the photo, that's not timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Frozen raspberries, frozen bananas, vanilla yogurt, Greek yogurt to be exact, and then Vanilla extract, vanilla protein powder, plant-based protein powder. It doesn't really make sense because there's yogurt in it as well. It's illogical. Blend it up. Enjoy. Raspberry banana vanilla smoothie. Yum. I was making that and I noticed that my left eye was a bit itchy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
That's trendy. But if you would be like, hey, you guys look kind of chic, right? And they would be like, yeah, that's timeless. If you could show your parents. Next, we have weird prosthetics. I've seen this a handful of times over the years on the red carpet. Okay, like a good example, I think Doja Cat at the Met Gala two years ago did like a full cat. Actually, I know she did this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I interviewed her. She had like full cat prosthetics on her face, right? So she made her face look like a cat. Or another example, I've seen like, I don't remember who did it, but somebody had like spikes coming out of their back one time, almost like a dinosaur or something. Can I be honest? And this might be, I almost called it timeless. And then I, and then I stopped myself because I'm wrong.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Anyway, we end up Googling it. It's totally normal. It's from allergies or like something being in my eye. like a hair or something. I have allergies and I had a hair in my eye. So I was like, okay, we're good. It's just that the doctor responds. He confirms that hypothesis that we, you know, I, I'm always against Googling something, but I was like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I'm wrong because I'm biased. I think that this is so fun. Prosthetics on a red carpet. So fun. It almost falls under the category of like funny stuff. It really does fall under that category to be honest, but it's just more specific. I love it. I think if it's tastefully done and it can be really chic, honestly. It can be kind of chic and interesting. However, I don't think that it's timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I think what is ultimately timeless is doing normal makeup, just having beautiful, fun makeup done. I think adding prosthetics is not timeless. I don't think that that will always be in. In fact, it already feels like it's kind of out. I haven't seen it in a while. Although I do have that on my bucket list. Like I do want to do that for red carpet ones. Like, let me give an example.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Like what would be really cool would be to do like artistic prosthetics that aren't like goofy or silly, but are like actually serious and cool and add to the look. So like an example would be like, Let's say I was wearing a dress that was like super mirrored. It had like a wonky, like weird metallic mirror on it. So almost like if you looked in it, you could see yourself in it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And it looked almost like a fun mirror, like a wonky sort of metallic-y dress. Now imagine I did prosthetics to make my face look like how my reflection would look in a fun mirror. So let's say in this particular fun mirror, it looks like I have four sets of eyes and two noses and two mouths. So imagine I got prosthetics done to add a second nose. Two more eyes. Like, do you see what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I know it sounds far-fetched. I know it sounds weird. But I think that there's really cool, interesting, artistic ways to use prosthetics. And I love the idea so much and I love the concept so much that I want to say it's timeless. But I will say that what is truly timeless is probably just to utilize what your natural body has to offer. You know, using makeup to make your eyes...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
sparkle, you know, using a flattering lip color to make your lips pop, you know, like that's truly what's timeless. I don't think weird prosthetics are timeless, but I do think that they're incredible. And I do think that one day, whether they're in trend or not, I will do a prosthetic at some point on a red carpet. I don't know when, I don't know how, but I will.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
We kind of discussed this earlier. Under boob and side boob. Let's talk about it. As I mentioned earlier, I'm familiar with the under boob. I'm also familiar with the side boob. I've done it all. The boobs have been out. Cleavage as well. All of it. Every side of the boob for me has been out before. cleavage, like boobs out, you know, like a whatever. To me, that's timeless. All right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Let's just get that out of the way. I think it's totally timeless. Side boob. I also think it's timeless. A little bit of boob at the side. Love. I think it's chic, subtle, timeless. Okay. Under boob, I've done it. Literally, I've done it. So nobody can be like, Emma, you're such a hater. I did it like a year ago. I'm like the president of under boob after doing that look.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Like the amount of under boob, my whole boob was, okay. I don't think under boob is timeless. There's something about it that feels oftentimes like a mistake. Not always, but a lot of times it's like, oh, is it supposed to be popping out like that? Like, you know what I mean? Like it's not... It doesn't look right. And I get it. It's like, it can be kind of hot and cool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And listen, there are times when under boob makes sense. And like, I would argue that the look I did, the under boob made sense. It was inevitable. I didn't have a choice. It looked intentional. You know, I'm not going to, I'm going to say it's not timeless though. I think that there are times when, when we as a society love under boob. And then there are times when we hate it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Whereas like side boob in full on cleavage. When do we not love that? I think we always love that. I can't remember a time in my life when we didn't love cleavage or side poop. We've always loved that. I think we will always love that. I think that's never out. It just, it's in. Okay, next we have large appliques. Oftentimes in the form of some sort of recognizable shape.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
We need to Google this because it's like really freaking me out. And I don't know when the doctor is going to respond. Anyway, totally fine. It's just like the body's response to a foreign object in the eye or, you know, foreign particles that would trigger allergies or whatever. And so I'm super relieved. Then all of a sudden I get one of the most severe allergy attacks I've ever had in my life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Like, for example, a large bow. Like, large, large, large bow. Like... A bow on a dress that's like a foot, two feet long or like a massive like floral applique. Okay. Or like, you know what I'm talking about? Like a big rose or like a big flower or, you know, big, large appliques. Not timeless. I don't think. No. But I don't know, like a big bow, even a big flower. No, you know what?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I do think it's timeless. I can't imagine it going out of style. I do think that it's sort of a classic design. Okay, it is timeless. Do I like it? Rarely, rarely. Like a large bow, a large flower. I don't know what other large appliques there are. There definitely are more. What would be another like large applique? I just Googled gowns with large appliques. Let's see what I'm finding.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Yeah, you know, it's really a lot of bows and a lot of flowers. I'm not really seeing anything else. Yeah, I don't know. I'm just like a big bow can be cute. I can't in my recent memory think of any time I've seen like a big bow look cute. Same thing with like a big flower, a bunch of big flowers. It's just not my style, but I do think it's timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I think it's sort of an easy, simple, sort of classic way to take a simple dress and add kind of a statement detail, right? Like if you have a huge rose on it or a huge bow or something, now you have something that's a bit more intriguing, right? I get it, but it's just not my style. But I have to... I have to be wary of that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Like, you know, I will have a tendency to be like, oh my God, I love this thing so much. It's so timeless. But it's like, yeah, it's timeless to me. But on a societal level, it's not going to be timeless. This I don't like. So I'm quick to be like, that's not timeless. But it actually is. It actually is. I just don't like it. Next, we have wearing sunglasses on a carpet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I'm talking about chic, Saint Laurent, rock star vibes wearing like glasses on the carpet. This is not timeless. I'm so sorry. No, it's not. Sunglasses on the carpet is not timeless. Regular glasses? Sure, that's fine. That's totally timeless. Sunglasses on a red carpet? Absolutely not. However, I kind of like it. I just, well, it's not timeless because it has this like air of attitude to it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Do you know what I'm saying? Like if you're going to a red carpet event, this is usually a social event that's usually indoors. To wear sunglasses to the event is to show up with a sense of attitude. I don't need to make eye contact with y'all. I don't give a fuck about y'all. I'm wearing my sunglasses because I don't need to look at you. You don't need to know where I'm looking. It's kind of cold.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And because of that, it's not timeless. It's not... the most charming choice, right? It's a little douchey and it's almost like how we feel about people who wear sunglasses out to a party, right? Which I have done before, to be honest.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Because sometimes it's just nice to like wear sunglasses and be able to look wherever you want and like not have to worry about, you know, people looking at where your eyes are going. I actually haven't really worn full on sunglasses, but I've worn glasses with a pretty solid tint. Maybe I have worn sunglasses to a party, but not many times.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
More often it's like something with a tint, you know, so that I can at least sort of see. But there is something about it that's like cold and almost like too cool, you know? And that's never going to be timeless. Anything with that feeling associated is not going to be timeless because it's not likable. It's not charming. I don't know. It's not polite.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Coincidentally, I don't know. I start sneezing and sneezing and sneezing. I probably sneezed a hundred times over the course of like 20 minutes. Out of nowhere, I just started sneezing. And so I took my allergy pill early. I snorted some Flonase. I did like... And now we're here. Anyway, this is not what the episode's about today.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Anything impolite I don't think will ever be able to be timeless, but it can definitely be trendy. And the sunglasses to me on the red carpet are trendy. However, I do kind of like it. I think it's kind of hot and cool. Like even though I'm aware that it's trendy, but like if it made sense for, actually I've done it before. Oh my God, I have.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I, wow, it was the same time that I wore leather underwear. Well, let's just talk about this outfit because it's come up twice now. So to the GQ man of the year party, So in my defense, it was a red carpet for a party. It wasn't like a red carpet for a formal event, right? It was a red carpet for a party. So the dress code was a bit more flexible.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I wore an Acne Studios leather jacket coat, almost skin tight, with matching leather underwear, black tights, black little heels, and a full shield sunglass. Can I be honest? Fun look. Was that one super timeless? probably not, but it was so fun. And I have no regrets at all. I wore sunglasses on the carpet. I wore full on underwear, like nothing about that was timeless, but it was fucking fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And it was also like a really great form of self-expression for me at the time. I like was newly single. I was excited to be out and just be social and feel free. You know, like I had to wear my little leather undies. It in the sunglasses, it was nice to just like top it off with like, I'm wearing underwear and you don't get to look at me in the eyes when you want to ask me about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
You know, like people are going to look back on that and cringe. I probably will look back on that and cringe at some point, but like it was fun. So I'm all about it, but I don't think it's timeless. Sorry. I just don't. Okay. Next floral patterns. I'm just like, okay, here's the thing. Florals can be beautiful and they can be done right. And I'm there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Like I'm not saying all florals are bad, but like probably 80% of them are. I will say though, floral designs on gowns, on suits, on anything. I mean, maybe less so on suits. I don't know. But that's been around forever. That's been a detail, a pattern that's been worn forever. It's undeniably timeless. You know, you go into a wedding dress shop, How many wedding dresses have flowers on it?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Like 80%? Or, you know, you go to buy like a dress for a wedding at like, I don't know, like Reformation. So many formal dresses with flowers on it. It's just flowers are a symbol of beauty and elegance. And so it makes sense that for a long, long time, we've been putting... floral designs on dresses. It's a pattern that dates back very far, I think, and understandably so.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
You know, it makes sense. But I think it's so often stale and ugly. It can be gorgeous, though. I think florals are most timeless when they're the most classic and the most simple. I think of like a white dress with a bunch of little red, tiny little red roses, like red rose with a little green stem all over it. Like that's timeless to me. You can't go wrong with that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Or like, you know, a dress that has, I don't know, maybe like a pattern that looks like, honestly, like a real print. Of real rose bushes, like it looks like a real rose bush printed onto their embroidered onto their whatever. I think it's less timeless when it's super bright colors. It's super animated. It's super bright. Oh, no.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
We're talking about fashion today, but I had to tell you about what just happened to me because number one, I sound congested and now you know why. But number two, because I just, I had to tell somebody. I've never experienced like a fluid filled sack on my eye. It was so jarring to see. But it didn't hurt or anything. So I was like, it can't be that bad. Anyway, enough of that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
But I am just kind of bored of flowers and florals just because I think it's so common that I think I'm bored of it. But maybe I'm biased because I've just been so overexposed to florals. I've just seen so many floral gowns because they're so popular.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And because I'm particularly interested in red carpet looks, like I love the art of it so much that I've seen so many looks and I just see a floral gown and I'm like, oh, it's OK. I don't need to see that. I don't need to see any more of these, you know. I might just be biased. Okay, moving on to lace. Lace, I love. Lace, I love. You can almost never go wrong with lace.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Listen, anything can be done wrong. But for the most part, like a lace dress, it's kind of hard to fuck up. Especially if you're doing like black lace or white lace. How do you fuck that up? It's so classic and it's almost always beautiful. I love lace. It's funny because I didn't always love it as much as I do now, but now I absolutely love it. I absolutely love it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And the art of lace is so beautiful. It's like, you know, the way that they make lace, like if you watch somebody making lace by hand, it's like one of the most... satisfying things you'll ever watch. And it's so delicate. And it's just one of the most classic materials of all time. Lace to me is timeless. And it's like sexy, but classy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I need to call Jared and say, Jared, you need to get me a lace look. I need to tell Jared I need to wear lace soon. Okay, next we have ruffles. Yeah. Ruffles. Ruffles are obviously timeless. They're like, it's such a staple sort of technique, design technique, that I'm gonna have to go ahead and say timeless. But I'd say it's like 60% timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
You know, like 40% of the time it's like, ooh, that's not good, you know? But I do think ruffles can be really fun, especially if they're like used sort of sparingly. love. Like, okay, imagine like a really simple, let's say like a really simple cream dress, right? It's strapless and it goes all the way down to the floor and it's tight. But at the bottom, they've attached some ruffles.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
So like around the feet, it's like, oh, this beautiful little ruffles at the bottom, almost like sort of a mermaid shape. That's gorgeous. You know what I mean? Ruffles in that way, gorgeous. I think ruffles can just become overpowering very quickly because there's a lot of volume and they can be sort of messy looking. It's like, just kind of like, you know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
It reminds me of like the poop emoji a lot of times ruffles do. It just looks like... But I think when done right and done sparingly, it can be really chic. So I'm going to go ahead and say timeless, but I think a lot of times it's done poorly, but I'm going to say timeless. Okay, next. Fluffy feather details, particularly around the neck or wrists or bottom of a dress. I love this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I might be biased because when I was a small child, I had a little pajama set that was like this beautiful little velvet pink dress with little feathers on the bottom. And then I had a little robe that had feathers. It was so cute. And I loved it so much. And it was very much this this vibe. I mean, it was it wasn't obviously real feathers. It was very much fake feathers.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Everything's totally fine. I'm grateful that everything's fine. And let's move on. Let's move on to the real topic of conversation today, which is red carpet fashion. Today, we're going to be discussing red carpet fashion because this week is the Met Gala. And the Met Gala is arguably the most significant red carpet of the year, where the most cutting edge fashion is put on the carpet.
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red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
But it was the idea of like, you know, a gorgeous nightgown with like the gorgeous feathers on the bottom. Very luxurious. So I'm biased. I will always love feather details like that because of that little PJ set I had as a kid. But I just think in general, it's timeless. Again, this is another thing that very much feels old Hollywood.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
A feather, even like a feather scarf or something like all of this. It's chic. It's so chic. It adds like such a soft feel. almost dream-like looking sort of volume to a gown. You know, you could have a really sleek, slender sort of gown.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And then if you have like a beautiful, you know, feathered detail around the wrists in the bottom of the dress, it's like, it adds almost this like whimsical volume. I don't know. Whereas like a ruffle is like a, whoa. You know, it's like strong and very visually like harsh to look at, which can sometimes be really great and beautiful and cool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
But feathers, it's so soft and like inviting and charming. I don't know. It's I love feathers. OK, next deep V necklines. Okay. This can come in many different shapes and sizes. Okay. Sometimes we're talking about like a deep V neckline that, you know, like in a very structured sort of gown, right?
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red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Like the, there's like really strong cups on the breasts and then a really sharp, you know, cut down and it's like very sharp. And then sometimes you'll have a gown that's maybe more loose, like a loose flowy gown that has like a deep, deep, deep cut. I don't think timeless. I think cleavage is timeless. Like having like cleavage, sure. A deep V neckline? Nah.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Every time I see it, I'm like, I almost hate this. Or I just hate it. But yeah, I don't know. A deep V to me, it feels kind of choogy. I'm not saying I don't like it or that it's not timeless because it's revealing. That has nothing to do with it. I just think aesthetically, it's like, there's something about it that reminds me of like 2010s pop stars. And I loved their fashion, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
But it wasn't timeless. Okay, I actually didn't love their fashion, to be honest. I didn't love a lot of it. But yeah, I don't think a deep V is timeless. I'm sorry, it's just not. Okay. Next we have sequins. Sequins are more timeless to me than rhinestones. I'll tell you this. I'm less repulsed by a sequin than I am by a rhinestone. I do think sequins are pretty much timeless. Ew. Do I mean that?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Wait, I need to look at photos of sequined gowns. Okay. Um, as I'm speaking to you, I'm looking at pictures of sequined gowns. Oh, Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Some of them are good. Some of them are good. Like I'll describe what I'm seeing. Like I see a sequined gown that I really like right now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
It's a very simple silhouette, like, you know, tank top sort of style gown, V-neck, not a deep V, just a little V-neck, no cleavage, pretty tight dress with a slight... flare at the bottom, deep, deep red with sequins. It's kind of gorgeous. But then I'm seeing, oh man, I'm seeing this like kind of loose fitting teal dress right now that's with sequins. I don't love it. I don't love it. I'm sorry.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I don't. Okay. Sequins. Oh God, I'm seeing a horrible scene. Oh my God, that's horrible. I don't know. I actually don't know about sequins. I was going to say that they're timeless, but as I'm looking at pictures of sequin gowns, I'm like, no, they're not. I don't like sequins, I've decided. And sequins are not timeless. They almost always look cheap. And you know why?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
It's because they're made out of plastic for the most part. I do think that there's a rare occasion, maybe 30% of the time, where they can look really good. I think when the sequins are really small, I think when they're really rich, beautiful color, it can look good. For the most part, though, hideous. I'm going to say not timeless. Yeah, for the most part, not timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Okay, moving on to beading. Oh, I love beading. Beading is like one of my favorite textiles for a dress. I think it's gorgeous. Any type of beading, a full gown that's made of just like a bunch of little sewn on beads, like, you know, appliques with beads. I don't care. I don't care if there's beads. I like it. I almost always like beads. And I think that they're so timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
undeniably timeless no not up for debate a bead is so timeless they're like naturally shiny they're made of you know usually like glass or I guess plastic but usually I feel like glass and they look so sophisticated they look so clean they the reflection that they give is so balanced it's not too sparkly or shiny but it's also not like completely matte and like textureless and
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red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And I absolutely love the art of red carpet fashion. outfits, black tie outfits, you know, gowns, suits. Like I adore the art of this genre of fashion. And it's interesting because I've never been a particularly formal person. You know, like I have always sort of felt uncomfortable getting dressed up. It always has felt like not genuine to me. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I just think beads are some of the best textiles of all time. And I really fell in love with beading and truly like, I don't know, just became like really conscious and aware of it when I went to India for a fashion event. And there was a lot of stuff about beading. And I was like, wait, yeah, like this is fucking incredible. And I've just loved beading ever since.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And well, I mean, I loved it always, but it just became like a textile to me where I'm like, I like that. Every time I see it, I'm like, I like that. Okay, next we have two-piece dresses. Okay, now by that I mean something that reads like a gown, but it's technically a two-piece set, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Like a good example would be the boob outfit reference from earlier, which was like a super high-waisted skirt with a matching top, right? That was, as I mentioned earlier, very revealing of the breasts, right? There's a lot of different ways to do this. Like a two-piece dress set sort of thing that reads as a gown. I like this, actually. It's timeless, I would say, like 60% of the time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
But I like it. Even though it can often be a bit... I don't know. It can be kind of corny sometimes, to be honest. But I think when it's done right, it's so it's so chic and it's cool. And it's like, you know, it's like a bit of a different take on the gown. You know, it's deconstructed a bit. It's an interesting way to reveal sort of skin, but it feels intentional.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I'm going to go ahead and say it's timeless because it's sort of this like blank canvas of a concept. Like you can do so many different things with it. But I will say that it does not always work. No, it doesn't. I'd say the concept is timeless, but the execution is often not like it. It can really be hit or miss. And I'd say like 40 percent of the time it's a miss, if not even maybe 50 percent.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
OK, next we have silky material. Silky material, velvet, silk, all of these things, they're timeless. They go way back. We've been seeing them for decades and decades and hundreds of years. These are timeless materials. However, I do want to talk about silk, okay? A silk gown. Wearing a silk gown will ruin your night for like 10 different reasons, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I've worn a silk gown or two to a red carpet. I actually referenced a silk gown that I wore earlier. It was a black silk gown that was like a halter top. It was really beautiful. However, silk wrinkles so easily. Like, it's insane. You literally breathe and there's a huge wrinkle on it. So it's so stressful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
If you're going to a red carpet event, you're going to walk on the red carpet because you're like, I know that this whole thing is going to be wrinkled and it's going to be so visible on the camera. But also... Silk is rarely flattering. And I'm talking from personal experience. It is very hard to have it lay on the body in a way that's flattering. It oftentimes creates unfavorable shadows.
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red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
If you're not wearing a bra, for example, under the lace, it'll make the shadow of your nipple look weird. It's just weird. I don't know. It's really tough to work with. It's a really tough material and it can look really beautiful, but I prefer silk materials when they're like, like on a corset, like that love because it has the structure of the corset, but it has the texture of the silk. Great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
You know, it like solves the problem of it kind of being flimsy and, you know, wrinkly and whatever. Yeah. Okay, moving on. Latex. I'm sorry, you guys. No, latex is not timeless. Here's the thing about latex. I love latex, actually. Even though one time I thought I was allergic to it because I kind of got a rash from it and I was like, oh my God. But I'm not, I don't think.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I love the way that it looks. I think it can be really interesting and intriguing. To me, it's not timeless, though, number one, because it has, like, a weird sexual undertone that, like, I think is hard to shake. Like, I don't think... And I'm not kink shaming. I'm not, like, sex shaming.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
We should all be having sex and having fun and doing our thing and doing whatever the hell we want as long as everybody is safe and happy and consenting. So, like, wear latex, fucking... I don't care. You know what I'm saying? That's not what I'm saying.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
But there is this sort of like, almost like weirdly, I feel like this sort of the kinky undertone to it makes it hard for it to be timeless for a red carpet. But also too, I think the fact that it's so hard to put on and off, it's so hard to move in. It's also very edgy. And I feel like edgy stuff, like anything that's too edgy is not going to be timeless for a red carpet. You know what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Anything that feels kind of punk, nah. Not for red carpet, in my opinion. You can disagree with me. And last but not least, peplum dresses. What's a peplum, you may ask? Imagine a dress that's like straight all the way down, particularly maybe even tight. But then around the waist area, there's a little, one little ruffle peplum.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I've always felt like uncomfortable in a gown. up until I would say more recently. Now I'm like, no, this is so fun. But growing up, it was not, I don't know, I always felt uncomfortable. I didn't feel like myself. I felt very self-conscious in a gown or in a dress. I felt uncomfortable, super dressed up. So it's fascinating to to me on a personal level, how much I appreciate it now as an adult.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
There's like one little piece of fabric that sort of jets out at the waist. Look up a peplum. You know what a peplum is. It's very 2010s. It feels very like Katy Perry on the red carpet 2010. However, I actually do think that it's timeless. It is because I've actually seen some peplum dresses recently and they're not particularly in right now necessarily, but I've been seeing them a little bit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I've seen a few recently and I was thinking to myself, this is really chic actually. Yeah. I like it. I think it's nice. I think it creates a really beautiful shape, you know, having like sort of a straight line all the way down the body, but then there's sort of this dramatic waist accentuation from this peplum, but it's like done through fabric.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
So it doesn't, it looks almost like a chess piece or something. Like you look kind of like a little chess piece, like very angular and it's very satisfying to look at. I personally like a peplum. So yeah, I don't know. Call me Katy Perry, but I like a peplum. Fuck it. She's probably like never even worn a peplum. Let me Google Katy Perry in a peplum and see what I find. Katy Perry peplum. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I, there is a photo of her wearing. Wow. There's a lot. Wow. She has worn quite a few peplums here. Yeah, she has. Not a lot. No, she has. Not really though. But I couldn't think of any other 2010 icon to reference. Anyways, okay, that's it. That's all I have to say. I'm done. That was it for today's episode.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
The next two episodes are going to be dedicated to the Met Gala because I get so excited about it because I love seeing everybody's outfits and I, you know, love participating and interviewing people. And it's just an exciting time. And so I have to I just I love to be in the spirit of fashion during this time. All right. That's all. That's all I have for today.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
If you all enjoyed this, have no fear. I I'm here every Thursday and Sunday. You can listen anywhere you stream podcasts and you can watch on Spotify and YouTube. Find anything goes on Instagram and anything goes find me on the Internet everywhere for the most part, except for like TikTok.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I actually have a TikTok account, but I just don't use it because I'm super weird about my relationship with TikTok. At Emma Chamberlain. Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee. We're in stores. We're online. You'll find us if you Google it. And that's it. That's all I have to say. I really appreciate you all for listening and hanging out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I hope that you enjoyed hanging out with me as much as I enjoyed hanging out with you. It's always a pleasure. It's always so much fun. And I just love you. That's it. I love you and I'll talk to you later.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Because growing up, it was like, I don't know, it was kind of a sore spot for me. Like I really didn't like getting dressed up, but now I love it and appreciate it. And the art of it is just delightful. Anyway, so, you know, anytime there's like a red carpet event, you know, I'm like refreshing Vogue, excited to see what everybody wore to the event.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
You know, I'm like critiquing everybody's outfits in my head. I'm like sending photos to my friends who are also into fashion. I'm like, oh my God, what do you think of this one? Oh my God, what do you think of this? Like, it's almost like a sport for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
But I'm also fortunate that I sort of get to play in this sport a few times a year myself because I attend a few red carpet events a year and it's a delight. I get to participate in the art of it. But today, in honor of the Met Gala being this week, I thought we would do a trendy or timeless red carpet edition.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And I was kind of rubbing it a little bit. And then I kind of felt like something was in there. Like I felt like a hair was in there or something, which actually made sense because earlier this afternoon, I gave my bangs a trim. They were getting a bit too long. And so I cut them myself, which is never a good idea, but actually they turned out kind of good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Trendy or Timeless is a series here on Anything Goes where we discuss fashion and whether it's trendy or timeless, in my opinion, in my very unprofessional opinion. I have no idea what I'm talking about. And so that's what we're going to be doing today, discussing red carpet fashion and whether it's trendy or timeless. So without further ado... let's begin.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And let's start with corseted gowns, okay? I actually just sort of recently wore a corseted gown like two months ago. Corsets go way back. Do I know how far back they go? Absolutely not. And I'm not going to Google it, but they go way back. And I do think that they have somewhat of a
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
when it comes to, say, beauty standards, the corset is obviously a garment used to sort of cinch the waist, which, of course, perpetuates the beauty standard of having a small waist, which is not necessarily ideal. And I think the corset, and even the concept of the corset, does seem to have a bit of... baggage with it in a way that... The corset has a complicated history, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And I think the topic of the corset can be somewhat polarizing because some people are like, it's a symbol of toxic beauty standards, whatever. Other people are like, but it's a beautiful garment. I'm aware of the toxic past of the corset, but I do think... It is a beautiful garment. It looks beautiful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
The way that a corset structures the midsection of the body, and it doesn't even need to be cinched super tight. I'm not saying we need to be cinching it so tight that it's like... the person wearing it can't breathe. It doesn't even need to be that tight. I just think the structure that's created from the boning of a corset is really beautiful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And I think it would be a shame to not perhaps reinvent the concept of the corset in a modern way because it had maybe a negative past. I I'm all for the corset because I think it's beautiful and it's not mandatory. You know what I mean? Like nobody has to wear a corset. It's not taboo not to wear a corset anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Now it's an option and we can choose to wear one if it looks good and it feels good and it's what we're excited about. To me, of course, it is timeless. And I will say it's partially timeless because it goes back so far in history. But I also think it's timeless because when it comes to like black tie, red carpet, people want to wear things that are going to look really good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
So I was like, OK, maybe I'm really good at cutting my bangs, which was exciting. But there was definitely some hair residue on my face. I also have cats and their hair gets in my eyes all the time. Anyway, I felt sort of a hair in my eye and it was really bothering me. And I was like rubbing it and rubbing it, making the smoothie, rubbing it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
striking and beautiful and solid. And the thing about a corset is that it's so stiff and structured that it's like a weirdly reliable element in a formal gown because it doesn't move. When I'm wearing a corset to an event, which I've done many times, I don't worry about anything wrinkling or You know, because it's just this like stiff, solid element. You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
It's weirdly reliable and it looks really strong, you know, because it doesn't move. And because it's almost like the corset is the thing controlling the body, not the other way around. The body's not shaping the garment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And again, some people might think that that's sort of a toxic thing, but I think it can be sort of like nice and like even as the wearer of it, where it's like this thing is just it's on me. It's its own. I don't know. It feels like it has a life of its own, like a structure of its own. I think corsets are timeless. I think that they're beautiful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And I think why not try to create new memories of the corset in modern day that are maybe a bit more positive? Oh, and the last thing I'll say about a corset is that I have horrible posture and the corset makes me stand up straight and that's really good. Okay, let's move on. Let's move on to exaggerated shaped gowns. Super dramatic, huge shapes, very abnormal shapes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Okay, so like close your eyes and imagine... you know, a gown, but the bottom is out super, super wide, like wide, wide, wide, like probably a 40 pound skirt. Right. And then on the top, you know, waist up, there is like a huge bulbous, like I don't even know, like frill coming out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And then there's like a sculptural shoulder pad and there's like sculptural shoulder pads and they're huge and they're coming out. Like imagine sort of a larger than life, exaggerated, large, large, large, weird sort of gown. Like I'm not just talking about like a poofy skirt. I'm talking about like a ridiculously poofy skirt. I'm not talking about, you know, padded shoulders.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I'm talking about ridiculously large padded shoulders, you know, like exaggerated, almost cartoon-like features, which is something that I remember seeing as a young person and being like, that is so fucking stupid. Like, what is that? Why would anyone choose to wear that? It's just weird.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I will say that I think volume in a gown, like, you know, a dress with like a really, like a really floofy sort of bottom half, like that's obviously timeless. That's like, I don't know. There's like a few formats of gowns and that's one of them. As long as gowns have existed, that has existed. But that's not what I'm talking about.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I'm talking about really exaggerated, like dramatic, almost cartoon-like large details. I'm going to say that I really enjoy this. Like when I see this now, as a kid, I thought it was stupid. But now I'm like, fun. Like this is intriguing. This is interesting. This is dramatic and entertaining, which a lot of times, specifically with the red carpet, is kind of the whole point. You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Like, Most of the time, people who walk a red carpet are entertainers. And so it makes sense that somebody walking a red carpet would show up in something really theatrical and interesting and conversation worthy because their job is to entertain. And just because they're on a red carpet doesn't mean that job ends. They should still be entertaining the public, even if it's a bit weird.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And then I was like, OK, I need to put some eye drops in this eye. Like it is really starting to bother me. And this all came on like. like intensely in like 30 seconds. And so I walked over, got some eye drops, put them in. And I was like, geez, my eye is like itching me really bad. But also like, I really feel like something's in there. Like, you know, it felt like my eye had like mucus in it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I don't know. I think that that's cool and I like it. However, I think it's rarely timeless. It's very hard to do this right in a way where it feels chic and cool and like a genuine form of self-expression for the person wearing it. It often reads a bit ridiculous, a bit ingenuine and almost kind of like a maybe like a look at me sort of thing. Like, look at me. I'm wearing this weird thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
And it like doesn't make sense for the person. And it just kind of reads empty. Or like the design of the gown itself maybe is like just kind of like dramatic and exaggerated for the sake of being dramatic and exaggerated. And it's not actually thoughtful design that's flattering or truly artistic maybe. I don't know. You can never know what the designer was thinking when they made something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
So I guess I shouldn't be assuming anything. What they were thinking, but it reads like, oh, they were just making this dramatic and weird for the sake of being dramatic and weird. It reads that way. Maybe they truly, you know, but you see what I'm saying? I think it's rarely timeless just because it is so hard to do right. And it does have a tendency to look goofy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
and in genuine, but I do still enjoy it. Moving on to something sort of similar, but not quite. Sculptural elements. Okay, so I'm not talking about like bulbous shoulders or like, you know, a really, really large exaggerated skirt of the gown or whatever. I'm talking about like something where it's a dress and there's like a bunch of floating flowers around it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
Like there's weird little plastic sticks that you can attach to a dress and then you can attach like a flower or like even like a little bird or something at the end of it. And to the naked eye, it kind of looks like there's things floating around the gown.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I'm talking about stuff like that, or I'm talking about a good example would be Ariana Grande just wore a Wizard of Oz inspired dress where from the front, it just looks like a normal, you know, red, very poofy sort of gown. But then from the back, there's like a red slipper built into the back of the dress. sculptural. Okay. So I'm talking about sculptural elements.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
red carpet fashion, trendy or timeless
I think sculptural stuff can go corny. You know what I mean? Like almost kind of costume-esque, which I think when it comes to red carpet fashion and black tie and formal wear or whatever, it's like a lot of times the goal is to accomplish something somewhat chic and elegant, right? Which I
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Hey there, and welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on, and I give you my unprofessional advice. And today's topics are failure, work ethic, and perfectionism. And perfectionism in particular is a topic that I hold near and dear to my heart because I myself am am a perfectionist.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
The job that you thought you were going to get, the person you thought you were going to marry, the town you thought you were going to live in, it actually might not be right for you. And it might not work out. And that doesn't mean that you failed and that you haven't accomplished your goals and that your life is a failure. It just means that there was a change of plans.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Maybe for some people it's a blessing in disguise, but definitely not for everyone. And it is not a fun thing to deal with. And I've been dealing with it for many years. And it's gotten better, I'd say, but I definitely don't have it all figured out. Like I haven't cured my perfectionism by any means. It's still something that I struggle with actively.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
It feels like a failure when you have specific goals that are so specific that it's like, if I don't check every single exact box, I'm a failure. Set your goals up for success. Set your goals up in such a way that there can be changes of plans. And that's okay because you'll still accomplish your goals anyway. It's not like lowering the bar.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
It's just letting the goals be a bit more open-ended for the sake of the future being unwritten and you not knowing exactly... What's going to be right for you? And it just gives you the freedom to truly evolve and change as a person, but also as an achiever. And it sort of takes the pressure off. You know, like there's a lot of pressure put on you when you have very specific goals.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
When you loosen the goals up a bit, you'll notice that the pressure lessens as well. And for most of us, pressure is not a good thing. We achieve less when we're under pressure. Majority of human beings work best when they feel free in a way. And my last piece of advice is to reframe failure because you said, you know, I'm extremely afraid of the future and of not living up to my potential.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
I'm scared of failure. How do I combat this? To address failure specifically, I think reframing failure is so important. Listen, I'm not going to be unrealistic, okay? Failure still sucks sometimes. It sucks. It's not always fun. And I'm not saying it is. However, failure is not bad. The most successful people in the world fail constantly. We forget this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
But in order to be successful, you have to fail 100, 200, 300, 5,000 times before you'll succeed. No one succeeds the first time. The only person that never fails is the person that never tried anything. Do you know what I'm saying? Listen, all of this is cliche, all of this is cringe, but it's absolutely true.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Failure should motivate you to try again or to pivot your plans, not to give up and hide in a corner forever. You know what? I have a beautiful metaphor for all of you, okay? Failure is not a dead end street. It's an intersection.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
If you see failure as a dead end street, then you're afraid of failure because you're like, well, if I go down that that road and it's a dead end street, then like I'm fucked, you know, like I'm stuck and I don't know how to get out and like whatever. And I'm lost in all of this and there's no getting out. It's it's whatever. It's a dead end. I can't go any further. That's the end of the road.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
That's not what it is. It's an intersection, okay? You're now faced with a choice. I can go left. I can go straight. I can go right. I can fucking flip an illegal U-turn. It is not the end of the road. It's just a point in the road where now I have to make sometimes an uncomfortable choice. Am I going to stay going straight? on this exact path? Am I going to turn right? Am I going to turn left?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Did you see what I'm saying? How beautiful is that? How fucking beautiful is that? Okay. That is what failure is. And once you reframe it and you're like, all right, it's actually not a bad thing. It's literally an inevitable step towards success, towards achievement. It is quite literally unavoidable. Once you see it like that, it's like, oh,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Okay, I'm less afraid because it's literally something that every single person is experiencing. And also, if I don't fail, then that means I'm not working towards anything. Does that make sense? Like, there's nothing to reach achievement, you have to fail along the way. Do you get what I mean? It's like, that's actually a sign that you're working towards your goals. You're moving forward.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
You're driving on the road. If you're stopped on the side of the road, you'll never hit an intersection. You'll also never hit a dead end. because you're just pulled off on the side of the road. Only when you're driving can you reach the intersection, where then you're forced to make the decision of what to do next. You know what I mean? Does that metaphor make sense? I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
So when I give you advice about it, take it with a grain of salt because I don't have it all figured out. If you want really good advice, go find somebody who has it all figured out. And then also send me that person's number because I need their help as well. Anyway, without further ado, let's begin.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
But anyways, someone said, I feel like I'm never the best at anything. I'm decent slash good at things, but I don't ever stand out at the top. It makes me feel average. What do I do? I am sick and tired of the average person's slander, okay? There is nothing wrong with being average. Average just means what most people are. Do you think most people suck and are idiots and are bad at everything?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
No. I can name so many different people who are incredible at things, who I admire, who are incredible people, who are not the best at anything, who are maybe not even above average at anything, but they're great. My entire life, I was never the best at anything. I got decent grades, but I wasn't the best student. I was decent at sports, but I wasn't the most athletic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
I've never been the best at anything. I've never even been the best YouTuber. You know what I'm saying? What even does that mean? I've never been the best podcaster. What does that even mean? Who is that? There's no... Okay, the whole idea that being average is bad is ridiculous. Majority of people are average. Majority of people. Because that is what average is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
We shouldn't do things in life to be the best at them. We shouldn't do things in life to like win the medal. Listen, sometimes it feels great to win the medal, but most of us are not gonna win the medal. Most of us are not gonna win first place. Most of us are not going to be the valedictorian. Most of us are not going to go to the Olympics.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
I've said 99.9% like so much today. I'm just absolutely obsessed with data today and statistics. I just can't get enough of data. Anyway, 99.9% of people are never going to win the gold medal in anything in their lives. And guess what? It's okay because the gold medal is a fucking piece of metal. It doesn't make life any better. Being above average is actually nothing more than a gold medal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
It is nothing more than a piece of fucking, literally nothing. If you were to look, a gold medal, being the best at something is nothing more than than honestly like a piece of junk, like a first place trophy. What is that? Does it actually serve any purpose? No, it means nothing. You can't even use it for anything. Do you get what I'm saying here? Being above average, it's great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
You know what I mean? And it's really cool to see the people in this world that are above average at something, right? Like that's awesome. But at the end of the day, and I mean like on our deathbed, what's really gonna matter? Not the trophy, not the gold medal. What's gonna matter is that we filled our lives with things that we loved to do, whether or not we were good at them, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
That is what fucking matters. Being above average, fuck that. Who gives a fuck? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. That's all I have to say. Do things that you love to do. That is my advice to you. Sorry, I got really passionate there. Okay, somebody said, I feel like I'm failing at everything in life right now. My grades suck, my friendships are bad, and I'm single.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
What do I do? You know what the good news is? When everything sucks, when you are at rock bottom, the good news is it can only go up from here. You're at rock bottom. Everything sucks. How exciting is that? That if you literally put even just a little bit of effort in, you can make tomorrow better because shit sucks. Do you know what I'm saying? That's actually kind of inspiring and exciting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Like when I'm at rock bottom, that's what I try to remember because it is inspiring. It's empowering. My suggestion to you is to make a plan, okay? You can make a plan in any way that feels right for you. You could say, okay, I have all these things about my life that suck right now. My grades, my friendships, I'm single, you know, whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
You can pick one thing and say, all right, I'm going to work on this first. Perhaps the thing that's most important, maybe in your life that's friendship or maybe in your life that's grades or maybe in your life that is relationship. I wouldn't focus on that though. Maybe you save that one for later. Save that one for once you have your grades and your friendships figured out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
I think dating is best pursued when you're not at rock bottom. My opinion. My opinion. Make a plan on how you're going to improve your grades. Make a plan on how you're going to make friends. Make a plan on how you're going to start working on new hobbies. Make a plan. Until you make a plan, you're just going to sit around aimless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
You need to sit down and say, okay, I'm going to start with my grades. All right, I am going to make it a goal that for the next month, I'm going to work on homework after school for three hours a day. Three hours a day. I'm going to go from one hour a day or maybe even zero hours a day to three hours a day. I'm going to set a timer. I'm going to light a candle. And I am going...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
to do my homework for three hours a day or until I complete it and see how much my grades improve over the next month. I am going to sign up for an extracurricular activity. I'm gonna sign up for the badminton team at school. I'm gonna sign up for the lacrosse team at school. I'm gonna sign up for something extracurricular. And I'm gonna slowly but surely make friends with the people on the team.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
And we might not be best friends, but we'll see what happens. Like make a plan, figure out how you're gonna improve your grades, how you're gonna make friends, how you're going to stop failing. Until you have a plan, until you have something to act upon, what the fuck are you supposed to do? So you need to get organized and you need to figure out what your next step is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Because it's very easy to just wallow in like, oh, I'm so far behind. I'm failing so bad. There's no getting out of this. Not true. Not true. You'll be shocked at how quickly things can turn around the second you have a plan and stop dwelling in the feeling of failure and instead say, it's all from here. Let's figure it out. You'll be shocked at how quickly things turn around.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Okay, somebody said, advice on how to be more gentle with myself in my early 20s. I'm so harsh and critical with myself as a first instinct. I am the same way, to be honest. But when I react really harshly to myself... I try to remind myself how truly young I am. And this is not in like an ageist sort of way. Like I think we should be graceful with ourselves no matter our age.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
But I do think that when you're in your 20s, you're really young. You were a teenager like a few years ago, right? And what I do to put my age and lack of life experience into perspective is to remember myself 10 years ago. 15 years ago, 20 years ago, back when I was four years old, you know, 10 years old, 12 years old, like only just five, 10, 15 years ago, I was a child.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
And now I look back at myself and I'm like, oh my God, what a little baby, you know, like what a little fragile baby, what an innocent little soul, you know? And the truth is in 5, 10, 15, 20, 30 years, we'll look back at ourselves now with so much patience and I don't know, we'll be gentle with ourselves. And so why not be gentle now?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
5, 10, 15, 20, 30 years down the line, we're going to be gentle with ourselves. And that's the same person as we are today. Why not just be gentle now? I don't know if that's good advice, but that is something that I think about. Like when I was hard on myself when I was 15 years old, and I was hard on myself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
If I had thought about myself at 23, almost 24, and how I would feel towards myself, I maybe would have been more gentle with myself because now at age 24, I look at my 15-year-old self like a baby and I feel fond, gentle feelings towards my 15-year-old self. There's something comforting about knowing like down the line, I'm gonna look back at who I am today and be so patient and be so kind.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Why not just do that now? I don't know. But I also think too that sometimes like age aside, we can be unnecessarily harsh and critical with ourselves if other things are going on in our lives. Again, age aside. For example, if we're hanging out around the wrong people, hanging out around people who are not supportive of us. don't love us fully, don't support us fully.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
That can lead to being unnecessarily harsh and critical with oneself. I've noticed that in myself. When I've, say, you know, dated or been friends with people who weren't really on my team, it's manifested in me being harsh and critical with myself. When my self-esteem is low, which we talked about earlier, when I'm not
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
basing my self-esteem on the right things when I'm not basing it on my character I'm basing it on my physical appearance or my success or you know when my self-esteem is in the wrong place you know I can be overly harsh and critical of myself I think age can contribute, but I also think, too, that there's probably something else going on in your life, like beyond just you being in your 20s.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Like, I do think it's a normal thing, right? Like, we're hard on ourselves always, right? But I think once we reach our 20s, we're really hard on ourselves because... I don't know, our frontal lobe is the most developed it's ever been. And we're starting to realize like how dumb we can be sometimes. And it's abrupt and it's, I don't know, overwhelming.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
But a lot of times, I don't know, there's something else lingering beneath the surface as well. So maybe pay attention to that too. Somebody said, in order to be the best at something, do you have to do it 24-7? Well, number one, I'd let go of the expectation of ever being the best because good luck with that. I personally have never been the best at anything, ever in my life, never.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
so fuck that like that's just not gonna happen that's a ridiculous expectation it's like in order to be perfect at something do you have to do it no perfect the best these things don't exist so let go of that that's number one but let's rephrase this question in order to be good at something in order to be great at something do you have to do it 24 7 i think no i think no
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
But I also sort of think, yes. Okay, let me explain. I don't think doing something 24-7 is healthy. Like I think putting all of your eggs in one basket and saying, I'm going to dedicate my entire life to this one thing. I don't think that that's healthy. I think you need to have variety in your life, right? So if you're working towards a goal, it's good to have... time off on the side.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Somebody said, as a perfectionist, I never feel like I'm doing enough. I see other successful people and I constantly feel like I'm not enough. How do I fix this? Well, these are two separate issues, okay? Number one, never feeling like you're doing enough. Never feeling satisfied with your accomplishments, with your productivity, et cetera. And comparing your success to others.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
It's good to have other smaller goals. It's good to have hobbies. It's good to diversify what's going on in your life. You don't want to have all of your eggs in one basket. Otherwise, number one, it's bad for you psychologically. It'll make you depressed and anxious.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
But number two, it puts too much pressure on this one thing, which isn't good because if it doesn't work out, which it might not because that's the reality of life, now you're fucked because you put all of your eggs in that basket. Not great. But also too, if you really love something and you really wanna be good at it, you don't wanna burn yourself out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
And doing something 24 seven will burn you out. So you definitely wanna have other stuff going on in your life, even if you wanna be great at something. There's also something about being like overexposed to something that weirdly can hold you back.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Like when I work out every single day, seven days a week, I achieve less gains, if you will, than if I go five days a week and have two days of rest in between. Short term and long term. Short term because I'm not exhausting myself. So I'm actually able to perform better in my workouts. But then long term because number one, I'm preventing burnout because I have balance.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
I'm doing five days a week. I have two days off, two days to recover, two days to do other things with my time. You know, five days a week is still a lot too. Like let's say I was doing three days a week, four days a week, same idea. There's time away. There's time to recharge.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
There's time to rebuild so that you can go back even stronger and with a fresh perspective because that's the other thing. Let's say you're working on an art piece. If you lock yourself in your house for two months and work on this art piece and you never go outside and you never talk to anyone and you don't work on anything else, okay, if this painting doesn't work out, you are going to be a mess.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
You are going to be an emotional wreck. That is not good. That's number one. Number two, you're going to get burnt out because you weren't doing anything else. And it's going to ruin your spark. And you're not going to want to make another painting. You're going to want to quit painting after that. And you'll quite literally physically suffer. I mean, you didn't see the sun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
You didn't move around a lot. You will physically suffer. In order to be the best at something, you shouldn't work on it 24-7. You need to have balance. However, Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
So let's address not feeling like you're doing enough. To start, let me just say, I could not relate to this more. I could literally be on my grind for like six months straight, get so much done, be so successful. Everybody around me is jealous. I'm slaying and I literally still feel like shit and feel like I got nothing done. So I completely understand this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
I think the hard truth for perfectionists is that perfectionists may never be able to fully experience fulfillment and joy from getting work done, from being productive. I don't, that might not be true, but in my experience thus far, like I haven't cracked that code. I still really struggle to feel like I'm doing enough.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
And no, I'm not humble bragging. Okay. I'm not over here like, I don't know. I just have an incredible work ethic. I know it might sound like a blessing, but I promise you it's a curse. It's exhausting being this perfect. No, I'm not saying that. In fact, I'm saying the opposite. I actually think my perfectionism gets in the way of me achieving. If perfection did exist, it doesn't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
And just by simply being productive, like I almost never feel like I'm doing enough. Naturally, like it doesn't matter how much I get done. I just never feel satisfied. I never feel fulfilled. I never feel proud. And I think for many perfectionists, that's the case. And so something that I've tried to do is to release any expectations about how productivity will make me feel.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
I think the reason why it's so painful to work really hard and then never feel like you're doing enough is because you had an expectation that working really hard would cure your perfectionism, would finally make you feel like you're working hard enough, you're doing enough. The truth is when you're a perfectionist, there is no level of achievement of productivity that will...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
create that feeling. That's the problem. That's why you're a perfectionist. So something that I've tried to do is release expectations of experiencing any feeling from getting work done because at least I'm not ending up disappointed because I'm not feeling the feelings I wanted to be feeling.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
You know, I might not feel satisfied and that sucks, but at least I'm not feeling dissatisfied and disappointed. Do you know what I'm saying? Does releasing expectations solve the problem? Does it allow you to find satisfaction and fulfillment from your productivity? No, not necessarily. But in the meantime, while you're figuring out how to cope with your perfectionism, it can be helpful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
And so that's something I try to do is work towards achieving things for the sake of my overall well-being in my life, right? Instead of searching for a feeling of satisfaction and a feeling like I'm doing enough, I try to work on things that are ultimately leading to a better quality of life. Does that make sense? I don't know. I don't know if this is even good advice, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
This is just some of the things that I've tried, okay? So that's one sort of tip, okay? But another thing that I personally try to do is...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
and it's kind of cringe and it's like I don't know it's like I don't know maybe empty advice I think it's important for perfectionists to in a moment when you're being hard on yourself when you really really feel like you're not doing enough the best thing that you can do is take a moment close your eyes or not open your eyes I don't know just fucking sit there for a minute and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
And think about all that you've accomplished in the last week, in the last month, in the last year, in your whole life. Take a moment to remember what you have accomplished. And whether it's large or small, you've at least accomplished something. And I can almost guarantee, especially if you're a perfectionist, that a lot of those things were challenging.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
I can almost guarantee you have a lot to be proud of. And it sounds ridiculous. It's like, Emma, like who's gonna fucking, when you're in the midst of a meltdown because you feel like you're not doing enough, the last thing you want to do is think about what you have done. It's like, who cares about that? But it can really help. You could even write it down.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Like write down 10 things that you've done in the last year that you're proud of. It's just, it's important for perfectionists to like shift the attention to what has been done, to what has been accomplished.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Because I think a lot of times perfectionists complete a task, accomplish something, and immediately move to the next thing and take no time to relish in the excitement and the satisfaction of accomplishing. Instead, just move on to the next. Because perfectionists are always thinking about what's next. So that's another thing. Potentially, every time you accomplish something...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
But if it did exist, my perfectionism would be preventing me from reaching that. My perfectionism holds me back. When I call myself a perfectionist, it's derogatory. You get the idea. This is not a flex. That's sort of a misconception about perfectionism is that it ultimately is a blessing in disguise. And maybe it is. Maybe it is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Force yourself to take 10 minutes, maybe even 24 hours to relish in that satisfaction. Treat yourself. Take yourself out to get your nails done. Buy yourself your favorite lunch. Treat yourself. Force yourself to celebrate every accomplishment. That's all the advice I got on that. Okay, so now the second part of this, comparing yourself to other successful people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
I think we tend to compare our successes to other people's successes when our self-esteem is being based on our success. When your self-esteem is based on the wrong things, for example, your success, your appearance, your romantic relationship, your friend group, whatever. When your self-esteem is rooted in the wrong things. All hell breaks loose.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
OK, because number one, your self-esteem is not it's not going to be consistent. It's not going to be solid because it's based on something that is inconsistent, that is surface level, that is it's actually not a healthy thing. source of confidence and self-esteem, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Number two, wherever your self-esteem lies, your appearance, your success, your relationship, your friend group, you'll start obsessing over these things. It'll become your main focus, okay? which usually ends up causing way more harm than good. For example, if your self-esteem is held in your physical appearance, you know, you're more likely to develop a plastic surgery addiction or have
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
you're more likely to facetune your Instagram photos to oblivion, you know, to a point where you don't even look the way you look like in real life anymore. And that's mortifying. Like that's not something, that's not an admirable thing to do. You know, the list goes on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Or if your self-esteem is rooted in your romantic relationship, you're going to be obsessive about your partner because they are your confidence, you know? So like if they don't text you back, You're like, oh my God, they're cheating on me. Oh my God, you freak out. Do you see what I'm saying? It causes more harm than good. You will obsess over whatever your self-esteem is based on, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
And what comes with sort of obsession? Comparison as well. So if you are basing your self-esteem on your success, to take it back to the dilemma that we're facing here, if your self-esteem is based on your success, okay? other people's success is going to drive you nuts. And you are going to compare yourself to oblivion, okay? Because you're obsessed with your success.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
That's what your entire being is relying on at this time, you know? It's like your backbone, your foundation is that. But what's ironic is when your self-esteem is based on the right things, okay, it's based on your character. It's based on how generous and kind you are. It's based on how you make the world a better place in small or big ways. It's based on your morals and values.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
It's based on being a good sibling, a good child, a good wife, a good husband, whatever the fuck, okay? When it's based on your character, who you truly are, material things aside, you don't compare yourself to other people. You don't care that other people are hotter than you. You don't care that other people are more successful than you. You
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
You don't care because your self-esteem is in the right place. So you don't need to compare because you're not trying to measure your physical appearance, your success, etc. You're comfortable with what you add to the world. You know what I'm saying? The point of all this is the reason why you might be comparing your success to others is because that's where... your self-esteem lies.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Like, maybe if I were to observe myself, my current self, who I am right now, and myself in an alternate universe where I'm not a perfectionist. Perhaps me, the perfectionist, would achieve more than the version of me in an alternate universe who isn't a perfectionist. Perhaps. Perhaps. But we'll never know that for sure. And as far as I can tell, it gets in my way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
And that's not good. That doesn't feel good, okay? The best way to stop doing that is to build your self-esteem in a healthy way. And it sounds simple, but it's about having discipline, you know, taking good care of yourself, taking good care of people around you, being a good person. The list goes on. I mean, it's about having self-esteem rooted in non-material things.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Genuinely who you are as a person. And then all of a sudden, you won't care that other people are more successful than you. There is no most successful person in the world. That doesn't exist. So let go of that, okay? All right, let's move on. Somebody said, I'm extremely afraid of the future and of not living up to my potential. I'm scared of failure. How do I combat this?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
I think it's incredibly helpful to differentiate what you can and can't control about your future because then you can let the elements you can control empower you and even inspire you, right? It clarifies like, all right, what am I working towards and what can I do to get there? And what type of plan do I need to orchestrate to get there? And what's the next step?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
You know, being aware of what you can control empowers you and inspires you and gives you sort of a path. So that's awesome. But also being aware of what you can't control allows you to set that free and take that energy that you were dedicating towards stuff that you can't control and now put it towards the stuff that you can control.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Once you have a clear understanding of what you can and can't control, you can begin the journey of developing a healthy relationship with your future and with your goals. But until then, you're going to be putting your energy in all the wrong places, focusing on what you can't control too much, neglecting the stuff that you can control. You know, you're going to move through life aimlessly.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
It's a mess. Until you really get a grasp on what you can and can't control, there will be chaos, okay? And there's still chaos even when you do grasp what you can and can't control because it's The nature of life is that some of it is out of our control and that is chaotic, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
There will always be a bit of chaos, but there's a healthy amount of chaos once you truly are aware of what you can and can't control. And again, then it's inspiring. You're like, all right, fuck all the stuff I can't control, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
I know now what I can control and that gives me a clearer path and a clearer set of goals and I know what I'm working towards now and I know the steps I need to take to get there because I know what's in my control. So, That really helps. But I also think it's helpful to shift your goals to be less specific.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Like instead of your goal being to live in a 10 bedroom house in Dallas, Texas on this exact street with this exact street number and you're married to this exact person and you have this exact job. Shift your goal to being, I want to live in a beautiful home, in a beautiful city that I love, with a person that I love, with an incredible family.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the curse of perfectionism, advice session
Like, shift your goals to being a bit more buildable, a bit more open, you know? A lot of times we can become obsessed with these specific goals. And the problem with... That is that it doesn't leave room for change of plans. And inevitably, there will be changes of plans.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on, and I give you my unprofessional advice. And today's topic is actually a topic that we've touched on before, and that would be the topic of friendship, but more specifically, conflict in friendship, challenge in friendship, frustration in friendship.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
There's a chance that they might have grown up in an environment where when they made mistakes as kids, their parents were like, you're a piece of shit and you're hopeless and there's no chance, like you're ruined and you're faulty and there's something wrong with you and you're, you know what I mean? They might not have grown up in a safe space to say, you know what, I did make a mistake.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
They might have grown up in an environment where if they admitted to a mistake, they were berated by their family. You know, that's very common. So you might be the first person in their life to ever say, it's okay to make a mistake. You're no less of a person.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
You might be the first person to tell them it's the admirable right thing to do to admit when you make a mistake and to apologize and to say, I'm going to do better next time. Like that's the highest response, right? That is the most admirable. But you might be the first person to tell him that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
I don't think that's an opinion. I think that that's just true. I think there's probably science to that. Should I Google it? Maybe. I'll Google it. I was correct. Fighting... Oh, wait, I was not correct. Hold on. This is the AI overview from Google.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
On the other hand, if they're a narcissist or maybe they're not a narcissist, but they have narcissistic traits, which we all do to an extent, we all do in some area, right? Most of us, you know, maybe you go about confronting them about it with a bit of a firmer tone. Like, hey, what you said was rude. You know, hey, what you did was wrong.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
And then when they try to play the victim, you confront them and say, you can't play the victim all the time. You know, like, anyway, that's how I would handle it. Number one, analyze why they are the way they are to the best of your ability and then check them on their bullshit and be like, and it might make sense to handle it gently.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
It might make sense to handle it a bit more firmly depending on who you're working with. But I think bringing it up and not letting them do it and bringing it to their attention is the most valuable thing that you can do because they might fight with you on it. They might get really upset with you, but you're planting a really valuable seed in their brain.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
you might be the first person to ever bring it up to them and you're making them a better person. And if you try to help and no improvement happens, I think it's totally fair to cut off the friendship. To me, that's a deal breaker. That's really frustrating. But if you want to try to help, that's my suggestion.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Okay, next, somebody said, I have a friend that only seeks me out when she needs support. I feel used. Is that healthy? Why does she do that? And what do I do about it? As much as it might feel unfair, I really highly doubt that your friend is trying to use you. I mean, there are times when people consciously use others, but I don't know, that's pretty sinister.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
And you have a better read on this friend than I do. I would say that there's a 75% chance that this is just the way that your friend is. Like they're not trying to use you. They're not trying to hurt you. They're not trying to take advantage of you. This is just for whatever reason, the way that your friend feels connected to you. They feel connected to you when there's some sort of conflict.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
You in their mind are a shoulder to cry on. And outside of that, Maybe you guys just don't have that much in common. Or maybe, you know, you guys have other groups of friends that you hang out with more routinely. And so, you know, you just are somebody who brings your friend a lot of comfort in challenging moments. And that's the purpose of your friendship in her mind. Yeah.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
I don't think she's trying to take advantage of you. I highly doubt it. It's totally possible. And only you can know that for sure or sense that for sure. But chances are, she just perceives your friendship different than you do. Now, just because she doesn't mean any harm doesn't mean that it's a healthy friendship.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
While fights themselves don't inherently lead to stronger bonds, resolving conflicts constructively can actually deepen relationships by fostering understanding and trust. Exactly. Exactly. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode of Anything Goes is presented by Temptations Cat Treats.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Anytime the feelings aren't mutual, anytime the effort isn't mutual, anytime somebody feels like they're being neglected, that's not a healthy friendship. And listen, there are going to be phases in friendships and relationships when things aren't the healthiest and that's normal and that's fine. But if your entire friendship is built on this imbalance, that is not healthy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
It's not necessarily toxic. It's not evil. It's not sinister, but it's not healthy. It sounds like... you're sort of a healing person for her, right? So she comes to you and she needs support because you're a source of sort of healing for her. Now, this is actually a really beautiful thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
But if you're not getting anything out of it, if you're not feeling satisfied, again, as I said, that's not healthy. That's not fair to you. It's totally fine to be like, wait, this doesn't feel reciprocal. This doesn't feel fair, right? Just because somebody doesn't mean any harm doesn't mean that what they're doing is right or fair. And so I think that there's a few ways to go about this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Once you accept that this is unfair and you allow yourself to feel frustrated, because a lot of times, you know, in friendship we'll make excuses for our friends or we'll convince ourselves that we're the problem when we're not and our feelings are completely valid. So once you validate your feelings, You have, I would say, two options.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
You could either make an effort with your friend, you know, try to hang out with your friend more often outside of moments when she needs support. Like, I don't know, make plans to go do pottery one day or like go to lunch. When you both are totally good, don't need support, try to build a friendship outside of the routine that you both are in right now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
You both are in a routine of you sort of being a therapist every time your friend needs help. Try to break that routine by making an effort to make other plans. Maybe your friend will respond really well to that and start making those plans back. You know what I mean? And then...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
you'll build a more well-rounded friendship and you don't necessarily need to have sort of a confrontational conversation. Now that's if things go well, right? If you do try to make plans outside of moments when she needs support and she doesn't respond well to that, she doesn't, show up for that, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
You kind of have to make a decision like, okay, am I going to talk to my friend and be like, hey, this is weird. Why do you only reach out to me when you need support? Like I've been trying to hang out and you aren't down. But then the second something's wrong, you need to talk on the phone or you need to go to dinner. I feel a bit used by that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Or you just end the friendship, which might also be what needs to happen. So that's option one, right? You personally make an effort to create the friendship that you want to have with this person by making plans. Or you could just straight up have a conversation and be like, listen, I feel a bit weird that like the only time we interact is when you need support. I kind of feel used by it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Your cat will come running for the perfectly irresistible Temptations creamy puree and Temptations lickable spoon cat treats. The best time to feed lickable cat treats to your cat is anytime. Feed by hand for a playful moment, in a bowl for a creamy treat, or as a topper to make mealtime fun. Visit TemptationsTreats.com to learn more. Now, let's get back to the episode.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
I know you probably don't mean any harm, but it really hurts my feelings. So maybe we could hang out a bit more outside of it or like... Like, I want to be a support system for you, but I also want to be friends outside of that. Like, is that something that you're down for or not? Listen, uncomfortable conversation to have. Not fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
But sometimes it makes sense to just like put it all out on the table, you know, lay it all out on the table and just have a conversation about it. And your friend might be like, oh, my God, I had no clue. I'm so sorry. yeah, like let's hang out more often.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
I just didn't know, you know, you even wanted to hang out and I just reached out to you when I really needed you because I didn't want to like get in your way. Like who knows why people act the way that they act, right? So like until you have a conversation, you won't know for sure. So maybe it makes more sense to just like lay it all out. We can't control how others treat us.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
We can only control how we respond. So take initiative and figure this shit out. And, you know, the friendship might develop into something beautiful and stronger than ever, and it might also crumble. And either way, you'll be happy that you sorted this out because letting people walk all over you, whether they mean to or not, it's not okay, it's not fair to you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Anyway, somebody said, what to do when your friend keeps doing the exact opposite of the advice that you give her? To be honest, In my opinion, the thing about advice is that you can't expect anyone to take it. You just can't. People are gonna do what they gotta do. They're gonna make mistakes. They're gonna get hurt. They're going to run crying to you, complaining about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
And this is sort of an inevitable part of relationships between two human beings. But it's also just true of of any individual. Right. Like we can be told what to do, what's right to do. But a lot of times it doesn't feel right until it becomes our own idea. Like we like to come up with our own ideas as human beings.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
We like to know things for sure, you know, and I use this metaphor a lot, but a lot of times people have to touch the stove to know for sure that it's hot. Until you touch the stove, you don't know what it feels like to be burned. But once somebody touches a stove and learns what a burn feels like, they're like, oh, fuck, I'm never doing that again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
A lot of times we have to learn lessons for ourselves. And part of being in a relationship with people is knowing that they're making mistakes, warning them and watching them blatantly ignore us and accepting that. It's so important for humans to make mistakes. You know, I think as much as we can, we should help each other out and prevent it. But like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Sometimes making a mistake is crucial for for growth and character development. And I don't know. So like, listen, if your friend is making mistakes that directly harm you in some way. then maybe this is just not a good match, right? But in general, I think a lot of times you have to give advice with no expectation of what they're gonna do with it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
You have to give advice from the kindness of your own heart and say, you know what, they're either gonna take this advice or they're not, and I'm gonna have to be okay with that. Or I'm gonna have to figure out a way to be okay with that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Either just by accepting that they're gonna make mistakes or by being like, you know what, I actually can't handle this and I don't wanna be friends with them anymore. I can't watch them make these mistakes anymore. The other thing is, though, too, like your advice might not be right for this person. They might need to handle things differently.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
You know, you might think that your advice is Bible, that there is no other possible way of proceeding in life that could be right. Like you have it figured out. This is the way. But that doesn't really exist. You know what I mean? Like your advice actually might not work for this person. And so you have to take your ego out of it as well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
So as much as it sucks to have friction in friendship, it can help build a deeper bond. But there are times when frustration, conflict, challenge in friendship ultimately leads to the demise of the relationship. And in my opinion, that's productive as well. It sucks. It's a bit more painful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
You don't know everything and you don't know what's right for other people. You can give suggestions, but you don't know what's right for other people. Only they know. And so, you know, you have to either choose to accept it or let this friend go because you can't handle it and it's bothering you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Somebody said, I really love my best friend, but oftentimes her behavior annoys me and makes me angry. I try talking to her and explaining how it makes me feel, but she gets mad and starts ignoring me. What do I do? Well, it sounds like you do not have compatible communication styles or just your friend has communication issues in general and doesn't really have a communication style.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
They just don't really communicate very well at all. It kind of sounds like that. Or they're just not responding well to the way that you communicate. Either way, there's clearly a conflict here. Now, I will say, it is very, very challenging to have conflicting communication styles in relationships. Is it something that you can get through? Absolutely. But
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
If you don't respond well to the way your friend communicates and vice versa, if you're a communicative person and your friend is not, this is one of the hardest challenges to overcome in a friendship or relationship, in my opinion. It's really tough because if you can communicate properly, you can get through anything. not necessarily easily, but as easy as possible. You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Like as easy as is possible. It can feel almost impossible to get through a challenge with somebody that you can't communicate with. It's almost impossible. So I think you need to have a conversation with your friend, first and foremost, being like, listen, there are things about you, about our friendship that are frustrating to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
You know, and people do say to never like in an argument or in confrontation, say like, you did this, you did that. You know, instead, you should always say like, in our friendship, I feel like blank because of blank, you know, but sometimes you have to be like, listen, you do this and it bothers me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
So anyway, you might need to confront your friend and say, listen, there are things about you that bother me. And if I can't communicate that with you, I don't know what we're going to do because I'm building resentment because I can't. get through to you and we need to figure this out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
We need to figure out a way to be able to communicate and confront each other without shutting down and ignoring each other. We need to figure out a way to communicate or else I don't know how we're gonna get through these challenges. We might not be compatible. And I think that this is a serious conversation you need to have with your friend that's like, this is kind of make it or break it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Because it is. If you can't confront your friend and communicate with your friend about challenges, this is kind of where the train stops. You know what I mean? Like, this is the final destination of the friendship. This friendship might be ending unless you can find some fuel and fill back up the tank of the train and keep trucking along.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
But that fuel is communicating and getting through the challenge together. But I think until you like your friend is not going to stop ignoring you and getting mad at you until you express the severity of this communication issue in your opinion. You know, until you express to them, hey, if we can't talk about this, I don't know if we can be friends.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Until you can express that, it's going to be really hard to get through to your friend. You need to be like, this is severe. I don't know how we can proceed. And if they don't respond to it well, if they can't, you know, rise to the occasion and figure out a way to communicate with you, then maybe the friendship's over.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
But to me, it's equally as productive as building a deeper bond with your friend because we don't need friends in our lives that aren't right for us. That is not a good thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Somebody said, my friends keep dismissing all of my opinions and seem like they hate everything that I love. What do I do? Can I be honest? These are not good friends. Like this is, I don't even need to dig into it. It's just like, this is an easy one. These are not good friends for you. Your friends should make you feel loved and supported and safe and No matter what.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
OK, like even if you say something that's illogical, even if, you know, you like something that the whole group doesn't like, your friends should still be able to make you feel loved and heard and supported despite your differences. Like it's totally normal for you to have different opinions than your friends. Yeah.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
It's totally normal for you to love something and your friend to be like, ooh, I don't really like that. That's fine. But it becomes a problem when they're dismissing you, when they're not making you feel heard, when you feel like they hate everything that you love, like anything that you... you know, are passionate about, they just shut you down. That's not good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
A healthy friendship, a healthy relationship, there's differences, there's friction at times, there's conflict, but it doesn't even feel like conflict or challenge or friction because it's all happening within this safe sort of bubble that is your friendship, right? this bubble of love and support.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
And I don't like to use the word unconditional because sometimes we need to not be unconditional if people do things that are not good. But there is almost a sense of unconditional love in a really healthy friendship where it's like, We can have different opinions. We can have different interests. We can have different tastes, you know, whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
But within this sort of safe bubble of friendship, everything is OK. You know, you never feel dismissed. You never feel like you're not being heard in this bubble. You know, that's what healthy friendship is. is you can have differences. You can hate things that your friends love.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
And it's never fun to come to the conclusion that a friendship must end, but it is ultimately productive because letting go of friends that aren't right for you allow you to make space for new friends that are going to bring even more joy to your life. So I guess all of this to say, challenge in friendship sucks, but it is productive and dare I say healthy?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
They can hate things that you love, but it doesn't feel so bad because your friendship is so rooted in love and in true care for the other person and truly wanting to be there for them and hear them out, you know, and make them feel heard. Your friends suck. That's it. What do you do to answer your question? You stop being friends with these people. I'm so sorry. You...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
you can do better and you will. There are people out there who will maybe dislike a lot of the stuff that you do, but they won't make you feel like they hate it. You know what I'm saying? They won't dismiss you. They'll just disagree with you. And you'll laugh about it and you'll move on. Or you'll debate it for an hour and then laugh about it and then move on. You know what I mean? Cut them off.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Next, somebody said, how to go about having to see my old friends every day at school after they cut me out. It's so sad and uncomfortable. Unfortunately, it's going to be sad. Like, it's normal to be sad. It's human to be sad. This is a shitty situation. It is so normal to feel bummed out about it. And it sucks to have it be rubbed in your face every day. That sucks. But unfortunately...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
You can't turn that feeling off. You know, it's like any form of heartbreak. You can't turn it off. The only thing that heals heartbreak is time. And you never fully heal heartbreak. There's always going to be a scar left over. But one day... It won't hurt anymore. You'll still be able to see it. And maybe if you bump it the wrong way, it hurts.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
But one day you'll wake up and it doesn't hurt anymore. The best thing you can do is be patient with yourself, focus your energy on bettering yourself, finding new friends, you know, being social with new people. Put yourself out there. Put your energy towards putting yourself out there instead of dwelling on the past friendship. And be patient with yourself. It's normal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
It's normal to be bummed out. This situation is not fun. So go easy on yourself. I think a lot of times our pain in life is so much more painful because we feel like we shouldn't be feeling it. And we feel like we should turn it off. You know what I mean? We feel almost guilty or embarrassed that we feel the way that we do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
accepting that it's normal and it's going to hurt for a while is a great way to actually alleviate some of the pain. Be patient with yourself and focus on making new friends, making new connections, and bettering yourself. You got this. And last but not least, somebody said, my bestie is not getting over her ex or her breakup and I don't know what to do to help.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
It's a tough situation and it's uncomfortable. You know, part of being a consistent friend to somebody is going through their ups and downs with them. It's just an inevitable part of friendship. And the truth is, if you're an empathetic person, you're going to experience some of the uncomfortable feelings that they're feeling as they go through it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
And it's going to be tempting to try to solve the problem. But the truth is, you can't solve... problems for your friends. They are the only ones who can solve their problems. You can give them advice. You can give them a shoulder to cry on, but you can't solve their problems for them. There's kind of nothing you can do except for just support them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
And it does take a bit of strength, you know, being the friend of somebody who's going through a tough time, because again, especially if you're an empathetic friend, you have to bear those challenges with your friend in a way that's really uncomfortable. But that's kind of just part of being in an intimate friendship. You know, you're going to have to feel the pain with them sometimes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Really, the only thing you can do is be a support system to your friend. Be a shoulder to cry on. Talk them through this breakup. Reassure them that they will find love again. You know, that's all you can do. Maybe, you pull them out of their slump in a way. But for the most part, all you can do is just be a friend. That's it. It's going to take time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Like healing from a breakup takes time and no one can expedite that process. No one. So I wish you both luck, but you got this. This is like, this is normal friend stuff. Like you got this. Like take her out, be a wing woman. Let her recount the story of the breakup 50 times to you and be patient. And that's it. That's it. That's it for today's episode. I hope you all enjoyed it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
I mean, maybe not all the time, but I think it can be healthy and necessary. Anyway, let's begin. All right. Somebody said, my friend keeps copying everything about me and all the things I like. What do I do? This is a bit tricky because I also think this is scientific and I should probably Google it and I will in a second. It's very natural for us humans to sort of copy each other.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
I had the time of my life today with you. I love giving you my own professional advice. It's like a true joy in my life. So I hope that you enjoyed it as well. And if you did, hey, tune into Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. I'm here every Thursday and every Sunday and you can watch me talk. on Spotify and YouTube, but you can also just listen anywhere. I'm here.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
And anything goes is on social media. Anything goes. I'm on the internet everywhere at Emma Chamberlain. And my coffee company is also in various different places, Chamberlain Coffee or chamberlaincoffee.com or at Chamberlain Coffee. Maybe in a store near you, you go to Whole Foods or Sprouts or Target or anything, you might find us or at our cafe in Los Angeles or online at chamberlaincoffee.com.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
I'm drinking a little matcha latte right now and it's really delicious. And of course, it's Chamberlain coffee matcha, duh. And yeah, and I had a cappuccino this morning. So I'm nice and caffeinated. And if you want to be caffeinated too, you know where to go. I love you all. I appreciate you all. It's always a joy to hang out with you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
And luckily for both of us, we'll be doing it again very soon. I'll talk to you then. All right. Bye. Love you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
which is unfortunately inevitable. Because anytime you put two people together for an extended period of time, eventually frustration will form. It is inevitable. But that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. Because the whole point of friendship is to have fun together, right? Like that's how we choose our friends. Our friends are the people in this world that we have the most fun with.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
You know, like if you spend a lot of time with somebody, eventually you'll start to pick up some of their traits. And I know that this is true because I do it. Like one of my best friends is very funny and very charismatic and, you know, will like find a word and then like say it over and over again. And it just becomes catchy almost in a way. And then I pick it up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
If you were to hear my best friend talk, you'd be like, oh, they must be friends. They talk the same. They make the same kinds of jokes. They use the same words. And it's not because I'm trying to copy my friend, but it's because for some reason, I'm absorbing pieces of their personality. I don't know why I do that. I don't know why we as humans do that, but it's just natural.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
But it's even the same thing with my parents. There are so many traits of mine that reflect... My parents, because I've spent a lot of time with them over the course of my life, and I have sort of become almost a product of them. And don't get me wrong, I have traits of my own that are unique to me, you know, outside of my friends and my family.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
In fact, there's traits of mine that my friends and my family have picked up. But this is sort of an inevitable thing, right? So that's why this is a bit tricky because this is normal to an extent, right? Even when it comes to things outside of like personality traits, like hobbies or interests, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
We talk about our hobbies and interests with the people that we love, with the people that we're close to. We invite our friends and our loved ones to do these activities with us. So naturally, you might start to develop the same hobbies, the same interests, because... Again, this is just what happens. It's tricky.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Let me actually Google it to make sure that I'm not like just saying that this is like a biologically true thing. And it's actually not. Google AI overview. I just love the Google AI overview. It's so good. And on the bottom, there's like a little note that says generative AI is experimental, aka like this is not a reliable source.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Anyway, yes, humans often unconsciously mimic and imitate each other, a phenomenon known as the chameleon effect, which can lead to a sense of connection and belonging. Okay, so a lot of mimicking and copying is unconscious. And to be honest, I have a feeling this is not really what you're talking about. Because I've experienced
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
sort of a natural copying and mimicking in relationships, but I've also experienced something a bit more invasive. So I'm assuming that that's what you're talking about. Because I think if you're annoyed with like the sort of more subtle, more natural, clearly unintentional sort of copying and mimicking, that might just be a sign that maybe you don't really like your friend. You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
And that you're just kind of annoyed with everything that they do. And so the fact that they're copying, like you're almost just like picking them apart subconsciously because you just deep down don't really like them. And so the issue is less that they're copying you and it's more just that you're picking them apart because you don't really like them. You don't really click with them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
And this is just what your brain has decided to blame the dislike on, but it might be deeper than that. When we don't like somebody very much, everything becomes negative about them. And so even something subtle and normal, like slight mimicking, can just become so annoying. So be honest with yourself. If they're not really copying you that much, maybe you just need to take a break from them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
So when there's conflict, it's like, wait, what's going on? Isn't the whole point of this relationship to have fun together? Like what's going on? For the most part, that's true. But in my opinion, it's impossible for friendships to evolve without a bit of conflict, friction, challenge. You know, a lot of conflict in friendship leads to a deeper friendship.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Or maybe the friendship just isn't right because... little, you know, harmless things are annoying you. But it sounds like this friend is really copying you in a way that feels intentional, in a way that almost feels invasive. This is not fun. And I also don't think it's cool. Like I don't... you know, as people say, imitation is the highest form of flattery.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
It's obvious that your friend deeply admires you. However, if you buy a shirt and then your friend buys a shirt and then you get a boyfriend and then your friend gets a boyfriend the next week and then you start, you know, using a word like you start saying awesome a lot and then your friend immediately starts saying awesome a lot and you can tell that it's forced and you can tell that they're
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
on your coattails waiting to see your next move so that they can copy it. That is annoying. That does feel weird. And I think the shittiest thing about it is that what's fun about friendship is that there are differences between you two, right? I like that my friends have different opinions than I do. I like that my friends have different hobbies than I do. I like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
that my friends, you know, listen to different music than me. I also enjoy when we have things in common, but almost more so I enjoy our differences because that's what makes friendship interesting and exciting. That's an interesting source of conversation. That's how we're exposed to new, unique experiences that we wouldn't have experienced otherwise. Like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Our differences in friendship are so important because that's what makes friendship dynamic. And so if your friend is just copying everything you do, it's like, okay, well, this is boring, you know? And I've absolutely experienced this. And again, I don't think it's sinister. And so I don't want to like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
talk down on your friend or even the friends I've had that maybe have copied me in this sort of way. Because I don't think it's sinister. I don't think it's evil. I don't think these friends are trying to hurt us. I think they just deeply admire us. And they maybe are struggling with their own sense of personal identity and are like, well, you know, this person is just going to be my blueprint.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
And again, that's like a sweet thing. But Just because it's sweet and it's complimentary doesn't mean it's not annoying. You know, because it is annoying. And it's not fun to be around. So my piece of advice to you would probably be to distance yourself from your friend. And this is what I did when I experienced this. It's a really hard thing to bring up. And listen, I am all about communication.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
I'm the first one to be like, communication is... almost always the answer. I'm a firm believer in communication, but I do think it can be tough in a situation like this where somebody is doing something that's annoying, but it's not really harmful or even wrong. It's tough.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
I think the best thing you can do for this person is to sort of cut off connection so that they're forced to grow their own identity. And I don't know, some of you might disagree with me and say, no, you need to confront your friend and say, hey, why are you copying me? This is kind of out of control. I think that that's kind of harsh. I don't know. I have a hard time with that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
There's a way that you could communicate it by being like, listen, I'm not attacking you I'm not judging you, but I have noticed that, you know, you tend to sort of copy the things that I do and it makes me feel weird and it makes the friendship less dynamic and less interesting and it makes me feel like my identity is not my own and it just makes me uncomfortable. And I want you to stop.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Like, that's a hard thing to ask somebody to stop doing. So my recommendation would be give the friendship a break, you know? And when your friend asks, like, what's going on? At that point, you can say, listen, you know, like, I felt like maybe we were becoming too similar and our identities were sort of melding as one.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
And I just kind of want to take some time to sort of maybe find myself and you can find yourself and we can find our own identities outside of each other. And then maybe later we can come back together and be friends again. Or, you know, you just say, I don't know, I just need some space, you know, which is a valid answer as well. You don't always need to give an explanation necessarily.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Like when I reflect on friendships in my life, the friendships that lacked conflict also lacked depth. That's not to say that they weren't valuable friendships, but the depth of those friendships pales in comparison to friendships I've experienced that do have a bit of conflict. Overcoming a challenge with another person grows a deeper bond, I think. Actually, I think that that's a fact.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
It's nice to give an explanation, but it's not always possible. Yeah, I really think the answer is to spend time apart because that also benefits your friend, right? Your friend is clearly having identity issues if they're copying everything that you're doing. So to cut off the supply of information to them will force them to figure out who they are. And that's good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
I mean, they might also just start copying somebody else, but they might also be forced to figure out who they are. And that is a beautiful thing. Okay, next, somebody said, how do I deal with a friend who constantly has a victim mentality? She never takes accountability for anything. Well, I think to start, let's try to figure out why your friend is constantly the victim.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
You know, like what's going on in their head that makes it impossible for them to take accountability, that makes it impossible for them to admit fault, that makes it impossible for them to sort of stand independently without, you know, needing to be sort of a victim, right? Like, why are they like this? My guess, personally, either number one, they're afraid of rejection.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
They are afraid of not being loved. And so as sort of like a protective mechanism, they never allow themselves to be wrong. They're constantly the victim. Because then, you know, everyone owes them something, right? Not the other way around. They don't owe anything to anyone. They're the victim of everything in life, you know? And it's sort of a protective mechanism.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
Your friend also might be maybe a bit self-centered just by nature. Maybe they have some narcissistic qualities and they just for whatever reason think that they're the center of the universe and that, you know, they're perfect and can do no wrong. That's not a great trait to have, but... It's a trait that some of us have. And that could be why. I mean, listen, the list goes on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
But I think it can be helpful to analyze your friend and ask yourself, like, why are they like this? Because that can help you, number one, grow some empathy for them or develop some empathy for them and some patience while you figure out how to manage it. But also, it can help you figure out how to address them about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
If you're sensing that maybe they're constantly playing the victim because they have attachment issues, maybe they're anxiously attached and they always think that they're going to be left and that their loved ones are going to leave them. And so as a result, they're always playing the victim so that everybody owes them something. If you're sensing that, then maybe the answer is...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
to give them sort of a safe space to make mistakes and own it and prove to your friend that you'll love them anyway. So an example of that would be like, let's say your friend says something insensitive to you, right? Like they say something insensitive about your makeup. They're like, wow, you're really wearing a lot of makeup today. And then you're like, That was kind of rude.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
And then they're like, no, it wasn't. You're rude and you're in a bad mood. You know what I mean? They turn it back on you. They're playing the victim. And you always yell at me and you always get defensive and I can't say anything around you. You know what I mean? They become the victim. Maybe that's when you look at your friend in the eyes and calmly say, it's okay that you hurt my feelings.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
It's okay that that wasn't a nice thing to say. If you say sorry, like I'll forgive you and we can move forward. I just am honest with you that that hurt my feelings, but I love you anyway. And I don't want to be in a fight. I just, I wanted to let you know that that hurt my feelings.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
And if you say sorry and promise that you'll be more thoughtful next time, we're all good and I love you just the same. And you're not a bad person. I know you're not a bad person. I know you don't mean to hurt my feelings. If you can sort of coddle them through taking accountability and you give them a safe space to take accountability...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
friendship frustrations, advice session
you could be an incredible asset to your friend when it comes to helping them learn how to take accountability.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
About a year ago, I predicted the boat shoe trend. Yeah, I did. And can I be honest? Since then, I've been chasing that feeling. The feeling of predicting a trend and then seeing it in the real world, I imagine, rivals the feeling of seeing your newborn baby for the first time. Like, I think I'll probably feel that excited again on the day that I give birth to my first child.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I don't remember. Maybe like two years now. But I think it's going to be in. And that actually leads us to Indie Sleaze, which is also already in, but will be even more so in, in like a big way. Indie Sleaze really started to come back in 2024. But I think in 2025, it's going to reach its peak because it definitely hasn't reached its peak yet. It definitely hasn't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I briefly paused this episode of Anything Goes to let you know that this episode of Anything Goes is presented by Amazon. Getting sick is horrible enough. The getting better part shouldn't be horrible too. Waiting on hold for an appointment, sitting in crowded waiting rooms, standing in line at the pharmacy, that's almost as bad as the sickness itself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Let's Google what Indie Sleaze is so that we can all be up to date. Okay. Indie sleaze is a term that describes a style of music and fashion that was popular in the United States and UK from around 2006 to 2012. The fashion was an affordable, messy, and lethargic take on vintage styles, especially from the 70s.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Indie sleaze fashion is characterized by mismatched, out of proportion, and chaotic pieces. Some examples include metallic leggings, tunics, knit beanies, fedoras, and chunky costume pearls. Okay, let's fucking relax on that. I'm not, that is not what I see coming back, but I see a version of indie sleeves coming back. So I'll define what I think that means in a minute.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Cause I don't agree on all of this. The fedora is like the fedora is insane. Like that is not coming back. Knee high socks are also a key part of the indie sleeves. Look, whatever a tongue in cheek style that was influenced by Brooklyn, hipster fashion, seventies, eighties, electro rock music, pop art, super flat pop, whatever, blah, blah, blah. Who cares?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
The style grew in popularity on sites like Tumblr and MySpace and was often seen as a counterculture reaction to the economic climate of the recession. Yeah, so I do think that this is happening again. It's obviously not going to be exactly the same as it was in 2006 to 2012. But I think there's going to be a lot of similarities in 2025. That's my prediction, okay? I just said the gaunt makeup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
The gaunt sort of like party girl gaunt makeup, very indie sleaze. To take it a step further, in makeup, smudgy black eye makeup. I could see that coming back. Definitely black and white stripes. To me, black and white stripes, so indie sleaze to me. And I fucking love it. And to me, black and white stripes are timeless. But I think they're really going to come back. And I can't wait.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I'm wearing black and white stripes right now. So yeah, ripped tights. DIY cut up shirts like that was very indie sleaze, like cutting the sleeves off and the neck off of your own shirt and it being all like saggy and like lopsided and weird looking. The Union Jack, which is the United Kingdom's flag, you know, the red, white and blue sort of star looking Union Jack. Yeah.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
That was super indie sleaze. I think that's going to come back. I do think certain more extreme indie sleaze details will come back, potentially like a metallic legging like Google provided for me. And last but not least, I do think skinny jeans are coming back. There's been so much discourse. I can't even stay away from the discourse around skinny jeans. Everybody's debating.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Are the skinny jeans coming back this year? Are they not? To be honest, I haven't seen anyone really wearing skinny jeans, at least... In my world or in my algorithm, like the algorithm is not feeding me videos of people wearing skinny jeans. So I haven't seen it in action yet, but I do think this year skinny jeans are back as a part of Indie Sleaze vibes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
But I don't think it's what we're all afraid of. I think we're all afraid of jeggings. That's what we're all really afraid of. Skinny jeans themselves. Yeah, they're they're not great. But I think what we're really all traumatized by is like low waisted jeggings. That was skinny jeans at their worst form in, you know, the 2010s. That's not coming back. OK, so don't worry. We're not going to be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Spending 10 minutes getting our super skinny, low-waisted jeggings up our legs before work or school. Like, that's never happening again, right? But I do think skinny jeans are going to come back. But I think that they're actually going to be less hideous than we imagine. In fact, when I think about styling skinny jeans, I'm not repulsed, which is really frightening.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Because a few years ago, if you would have asked me if skinny jeans would ever come back, I would have said maybe, but I can't even imagine it. It's going to be hideous. I could see it being cool. I could see it being cool. I'm definitely thinking outside the box when I'm thinking of skinny jeans looking cool, but it's not impossible. It's not impossible, and I think it will be done this year.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Am I going to participate? Probably not. Although, never say never, because... I might get inspired and really want to do it. And I might pick up a pair, but I doubt it. And I'm going to wait as long as possible until I'm exploding and bursting at the seams and need to wear skinny jeans, which I don't think will happen. But again, never say never.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I think a very specific type of skinny jean is going to come back. Real denim, like stiff, real denim that's not so skin tight to the leg that it like takes two hours to get up, like reasonably tight, but not like impossibly tight, like what was popular in the 2010s. I think timeless washes, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Like classic denim washes, nothing that's like acid wash, super ripped and distressed, none of that. Black denim I think will be fine, but like no extreme denim washes. And I think it might, I think it might work. I think it might work. The only thing I'm struggling with is like what shoe perhaps tucked into a boot. Oh, my God. Like a skinny jean tucked into like a moto boot. Oh, my God.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I'm scared. Is that going to happen? Or like a skinny jean with like a little ballet flat or like a little flat shoe of some sort. It might happen. I don't know. I could see people talking little skinny jeans into boots. I could definitely see that. I don't know, we'll have to see. It might not happen, but I definitely could see the skinny jean coming back.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Anyway, indie sleeves, I think it's back this year. It already started in 2024, so I'm not some sort of genius for predicting that, but I think it's gonna hit its peak this year. Okay, next, micro glitter matte lipstick. Okay, close your eyes and think about the early 2000s and think about the makeup trends and think about the lipstick that the beloved women in your life were wearing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
It was shimmery. It was light pink. It was micro glitters. It was like almost holographic. I think that that's coming back. You know, I was thinking about the makeup that my mom wore when I was a kid randomly the other day, like completely randomly. Like I was daydreaming and that just popped into my head. And I was like, that lipstick is definitely going to come back.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I've been talking about this for a while now, so this shouldn't be a shock to anyone. Now, I'm not talking about minimalism from a lifestyle perspective. I'm not talking about owning less clothes. I'm talking about minimalistic design, okay? Now, what is that, you may ask? Don't worry. I Googled it for you, and I have the definition right here.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I just had this gut feeling. And then like a week or two later, I was watching the first episode of Sex and the City for the first time, actually, because I've never watched that show. My friends were watching the first episode of Sex and the City, and I noticed that the main character was wearing that type of lipstick. And I was like, whoa, there it is again. I totally see it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Micro glitter shimmer matte lipstick, early 2000s lipstick vibe. Just, I don't know. I see it coming back. I see it coming back. Okay, next. This is so random. This is literally so random. Polka dots. Yeah, polka dots. Listen, you'll notice that I'm saying a lot of timeless classic obvious patterns. Stripes, I mentioned earlier. Polka dots, I'm mentioning now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I'm going to mention stripes probably one or two more times because I think stripes are really going to be in this year. I know what you're thinking. Emma, these are the most obvious, timeless patterns. I know. But I think that that's why they're going to be in this year. I think we all have such trend fatigue from keeping up with trends for the We're so exhausted with the speed of trend cycles.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I think a lot of people are going to be making timeless choices this year, almost out of necessity. Like, oh my God, what can I buy that I can wear for more than six months without getting bored of it? You know, and so I think classic patterns like stripes and polka dots are going to be in. But specifically, we're talking about polka dots right now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I actually I usually get red nails when I go to the nail salon. I just always get red nails. But the last time I was there, I got little polka dots. because I really do believe that polka dots are going to be stylish again. I think that they're always stylish, but I think it's going to be one of those patterns that we're not going to be able to get away from.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Luckily, I think if you buy something polka dot now, you'll be able to wear it forever because I do think that polka dots are very timeless. But I do think we might get a little bit bored of polka dots by the end of this year. I could see that happening if they do fully come back to the extent that I think that they will. But I personally love polka dots. Like I'm actually really excited.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
And I don't know. I think like polka dot tights, polka dot. like a black and white polka dot jacket, like trench coat. Little pops of polka dots here and there I think is going to be in. We'll see. Next, asymmetrical stuff. This is something I'm predicting because I've been seeing it pop up more and more on Pinterest.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
And I actually have a few asymmetrical pieces in my closet that I've collected over the years. So it definitely has been in already for the last few years, but I think it's going to be mainstream this year. I think it's going to be huge. Like, everything's going to be asymmetrical. And by asymmetrical, I mean, like, let's say you have a little sweater.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Instead of the buttons going down the middle, the buttons are going down the left side of the sweater. Or even weird shit like a shirt where one sleeve is long and one sleeve is short. Or... A skirt where like the left side of the skirt is long and the right side of this skirt is like a foot shorter or a seam that goes down a weird part of the shirt or like, do you see what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Minimalism is a style that prioritizes simplicity, clean lines, neutral colors, and timeless silhouettes, focusing on quality over quantity and emphasizing essential, versatile pieces rather than trendy, overly embellished clothing. Now, I've been talking about minimalism coming back for so long. I'm sick of talking about it, too.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Asymmetrical stuff. I think that asymmetry is going to be in. I think to take it a step further, minimalist design that is asymmetrical. So like a classic white button down, but the buttons are like on the left side. Do you see what I'm saying? That is going to be so in. Taking like minimalist design and then really just making it asymmetrical. Oh man, people are going to love that. Okay, next.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Buttons are the new bows. Yeah, I think that. And I'm frightened. I'm frightened because I love buttons. To me, buttons are timeless, but I think that they're going to be used as a textural element instead of as a functional element, right? Like buttons are technically used on a garment as sort of a closure mechanism, right? Buttons are used to close the garment, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I think buttons are going to become trendy to the point where there's buttons everywhere on shit. Buttons don't even need to be there. Buttons aren't serving a purpose where they are. And can I be honest? I love this. And I think it's timeless. And I think it might become trendy, but I don't even care because I'm going to love that for the rest of my life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I hope it becomes trendy because then I'm going to buy up all the cool stuff. No, I'm not. I'm trying to not have a shopping addiction this year or ever again for the rest of my life. So I will not buy it up. Maybe I'll buy one special button item. But I am frightened because I fully love buttons so much that I have a button tattooed on my arm.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
So I'm worried that it's going to become trendy to put buttons on everything and then everyone's going to start to hate buttons. And then my tattoo of a button is going to look cringe and basic. Not that there's anything wrong with being basic. But I have a button tattoo on my arm because my favorite movie is Coraline. And the button is one of the main symbols of the movie.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
And so that's why I have a button on my arm. And that's why I love buttons so much. Also, just because they're freaking cute. They're so cute. Anyway, the reason why I think buttons are the new bows, though, is because similar to a bow, like bows are absolutely timeless. A bow is a bow. It's too... crucial of a design element to not be timeless. Like bows will always exist.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Bows will always be in, you know what I mean? In the same way that buttons will be. But I think the same thing that happened with bows will happen with buttons where we put bows on everything. Right. Everybody was tying ribbon around everything. Everybody was, you know, attaching little bows to everything. Brands were coming out with stuff that just had bows all over it. There's just so many bows.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
It was like, oh, my God. we need to stop with the bows. They're not serving a purpose. They're just here and it's stale. It became stale very quickly. I think the same thing will happen with buttons where it's like, you know, a button doing its normal button function, closing a garment will always be cool. That's timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
But buttons being in a place just for the sake of buttons, I think might not be as timeless for majority of people, right? And I think majority of people will get sick of buttons in that way. Um, except for me, cause I love buttons so much and have such a personal connection to buttons. So buttons for me are forever and they can be anywhere and it will never be wrong.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
OK, so I won't overemphasize this point, but I think minimalism in one way or another is always in. I don't know. I even feel like the clean girl aesthetic of 2023, 2024 was kind of minimalist in a way. Because it was a sort of style that consisted of simplicity and clean lines and neutral colors and timeless silhouettes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Uh, to me, a button is never wrong. Next. So this is not necessarily like a fashion trend in the sense of like clothing or makeup or whatever. This is more of like a physical human body trend, which listen. I'm not saying that we should have body-related trends, okay? I don't think that that's great, right? However, it's the case. For the last few years, the trend has been
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
sort of Barbie doll aesthetic. You know what I mean? Looking like a Barbie doll, being perfectly symmetrical, having plump lips, having plump cheekbones, having the perfect little nose, like people, you know, many, many, many, many, many, many, many people were going in, you know, getting cosmetic procedures done to accomplish this look.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Unfortunately, it's become a trend to get certain procedures done, right? Well, I actually think that that's over. I think everyone looking the same like a little Barbie doll. I think that that's out. And listen, I'm not trying to shit on anyone who looks that way or who has, you know, chosen to go get those procedures or do whatever. Like, I get it. Okay, I get it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
If that's what you like, or that's what you liked in the past. It's none of my business. It's Up to you what you do with your face or body or whatever. I don't care. But I think it's gotten to the point now where everybody's sort of getting the same procedures done. Right. Everybody's getting their lips done. A lot of people are getting rhinoplasty is getting their nose done. done.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
A lot of people are getting filler and Botox in the same areas, right? There's sort of become a trend of getting these certain procedures done. And what's ended up happening is a lot of people look the same. Oh my God, veneers, like getting veneers, super trendy, fake teeth that are super perfect. This has become a trend, perfection, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
And now we have a lot of people who have a very similar nose and have very similar teeth and have a very similar jawline and have a very similar, you know, whatever. Listen, we're all different, but like there's definitely a lot of similarities. And so I think as a response to that, it's going to become trendy to have aesthetic quirks about your look. Now,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Listen, in an ideal world, it would be a trend to have your own unique quirks, whatever those may be, right? So like everybody's different, meaning everybody has their own unique quirks and those are all inherently trendy. Unfortunately, that's not how our society works. I see it being like cherry picked sorts of quirks. You know what I'm saying? Like having a gap in your teeth, trendy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I could see that being trendy. I could even see people going in, if they don't have any quirks, going and getting quirks manufactured. Going and getting a gap in your teeth. Like going and getting grinded. Can you even do that? I don't know. Get the gap grinded down so that you have a gap in your teeth. Or like, you know, getting an ear implant so that your ears...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
look unique or like getting freckles tattooed or shaving off your eyebrows. I can't explain this, but I just see a trend happening where looking weird or quirky becomes a trend. Because the last few years, it's been trendy to all get the same procedures that make you look like a perfect Barbie doll. And I think the opposite is going to become trendy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
So people who already have a gap in their teeth or already have a bunch of freckles or already have a mole on their lip or have a birthmark on their... Like these things are going to be...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
really celebrated and at times perhaps even manufactured I think there's a chance that it'll become like a cosmetic procedure trend to like add quirks to your appearance I don't know I don't know if it's even possible like Could you go to a dentist and say, like, I want to get a gap in my teeth like Madonna? Does she have a gap in her teeth? I think. She does.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
So, you know, when I say that minimalism is coming back, what comes to my mind is like 90s minimalism. Let's Google 90s minimalism. Okay, if you Google 90s minimalism, this is what comes up. I'm looking on British Vogue at an article called The Minimalist 90s Outfits Inspiring My Summer Wardrobe, just to give some examples of some minimalist outfits.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Yeah, like, I want a Madonna gap in my teeth. Would the dentist do it? Probably. I don't know. That might be far-fetched, but I could kind of see it. Okay, next. 60s mod. It's in. There's a lot of different little elements of the 1960s mod aesthetic that I think are going to come back. Some of them are going to be isolated. Okay, how do I explain this?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I don't think people are going to be dressing up like a 1960s mod Halloween costume, okay? But I think a lot of elements... of the 1960s mod aesthetic are gonna come back on their own, if that makes sense. So I'm not saying this whole aesthetic is gonna come back into style all together, all at once.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I just think a lot of these things are gonna be trendy and it's not gonna be in like a Halloween costume sort of way. Does that make sense? Because if you were to Google 1960s mod, you'd see a very specific sort of aesthetic, right? You have this sort of boxy style outfit Top in skirt, lots of color blocking, lots of classic patterns, dramatic big collars and buttons.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Very kitschy, very of the 1960s, right? It looks very 1960s. I don't think it's going to be that on the nose. And I don't think that like the 1960s mod aesthetic is going to come back all at once, all at the same time. Does that make sense? Yeah. But there are many key elements from that era that I think are going to come back. For one, the pixie haircut.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
The pixie haircut on women was very popular in the 60s. I think it's coming back. Now, listen, I know a lot of you are thinking, Emma, you just cut all your hair off. You got a pixie. So that's why you're saying that you think the pixie's back. But meanwhile, Emma, you look like Ellen DeGeneres. Yeah, I know. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Everyone's saying I look like fucking Ellen DeGeneres since I got my little blonde pixie. All good. I still think the pixie is coming back. And I don't think I believe that just because I have a pixie and because I plan on having a pixie for the next indefinitely. Like I have no plans to grow my hair back out. I love having short hair.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I think it's coming back, number one, because it's really chic, honestly. When done right, it is really chic, number one. Number two, low maintenance and easy. It is so freeing. And I think a lot of women are going to be, I don't know, like if they see other women doing it, they'll feel invited to do it themselves too. Because it's really scary to go and get a pixie haircut when it's not trending.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I'll tell you, it's really scary. It's a risky haircut. But if other people start doing it, I think it's going to become... I don't know. It's like a domino effect. The more people that have a pixie haircut, the more people that will feel empowered to do it themselves. And it's so cool to me. And it's so comfortable. And... Fondest style? I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I just think the pixie's great and I think it's going to come back. Another 1960s mod vibe, color blocking. A technique that involves wearing multiple solid colored clothing items in an outfit, often in complementary colors. This sort of goes hand in hand with the idea of minimalist design. Sort of white t-shirt, black pant, black sweater with the white... You know what I mean? Like very...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
simple, color blocking, easy on the eyes. Those two things go hand in hand, in my mind.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I think this sort of simplicity is going to be really appealing this year, especially because I think the concept of having a lot of simple pieces and building more intricate outfits using a bunch of simple pieces is going to be really in this year because it's a more sustainable way to play with fashion, whereas constantly shopping and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Buying new unique pieces and making outfits with them once or twice and then donating them. Like, I just think people are going to get sick of that cadence of buying and donating and buying and donating and dealing with clutter and stuff like that. So I think the concept of color blocking is going to work really well. You know, you can wear...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
a green t-shirt with a pair of blue pants, and then you can wear the green t-shirt with a pair of brown pants, and then you can wear the green t-shirt with a pair of orange pants, and you know what I mean? And it's always... It's going to bring a different feeling every single time because it's a different combination of clothes, but that was all just with one shirt.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Okay, I see a plain white T-shirt with some simple pinstripe dress pants and a matching pinstripe dressy little vest. I see classic blue jeans. I see classic black boots. A lot of simple tank tops, t-shirts in neutral colors. Lots of black and white button-down shirts. Lots of really chic, simple dress pants or capris. Classic just suit jackets, blazers, jeans.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
And then if you put a little vest over that shirt, now it feels different. It's like... I think layering and color blocking is going to be in, which is definitely very 1960s mod. Also, classic patterns, stripes, polka dots, plaids, like simple, timeless patterns that are always in. Very 60s mod. I think that'll be in. Simple, minimalist designs. Our very 1960s mod.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Just classic silhouettes that we all know and love. Especially with like little skirts and dresses. Timeless. And you can't go wrong. I started seeing 60s mod silhouettes on the runway like last year. And I was like, oh man, that's really going to come back in a big way. And it hasn't fully come back yet, but I think this is the year that it will. And last but not least, more modest silhouettes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I feel like the 1960s aesthetic was very classy, very modest. And I could see that coming back, weirdly enough. Like a longer skirt, a boxier fit, not skin tight. I think that's going to be in. Yeah. Okay, moving on from 1960s mod, the digital watch. The digital watch. Listen, if you're under the age of 40, it takes you a little bit too long to read an analog clock.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Everyone under the age of 40 prefers a digital watch, prefers a digital clock in general. None of us know how to read a clock under the age of 40. None of us. And if we do, it takes us at least five minutes to read the fucking clock. Five, 10, 15, 20. Oh, wait, what's the longhand do? It's not good. Digital watches are fucking back.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
You know, it was all about having like a chic wrist stack with like a beautiful Cartier watch or like a beautiful Rolex or whatever, or like a beautiful metal watch. You know, that was very trendy for a while there. Don't get me wrong. I actually do think that a lot of times those pieces of jewelry are timeless, but I think it's going to become cool. to wear like a plastic Casio digital watch.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
In fact, I've been wearing one for the past few months, inspired by someone in my life who does wear a digital watch. Okay, funny story actually. This came from somebody in my life who wears a digital watch. They're the only person I know who wears a digital watch. And I remember the first day I met this person, I saw them and they were wearing a digital watch.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
And I remember looking at it and thinking to myself, What the fuck is going on? They're wearing a big plastic digital watch. And I was like, I have not seen somebody wear a digital watch like this. Who's under the age of 60, like in maybe ever like I'm shocked by this. And as I got to know this person, I was like, hold on a minute. They're a fucking genius, to be honest.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
The digital watch is weatherproof. I mean, you can wear the digital, like, plasticky sort of watch anywhere. In the shower.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
That's the next time I'll feel that level of satisfaction, unless I'm able to successfully predict another trend before then, which is what I'm going to try to do today. Today, I am going to share with you my 2025 fashion trend predictions. If I can get even one of these right, I'll be able to match that feeling I got when I predicted the boat shoe coming back. But I'm being realistic here.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
to your workout and a lot of times they're cheaper than the metal watches so you're not worried about them but more importantly it's actually a readable watch you can actually read the digital like i just look at my wrist now that i've been wearing this rubber digital watch for the last like six months i just look at my wrist and i know exactly what time it is and there's no there's no stress
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
And I actually think it looks cool. I did not think it looked cool at first. When I saw this person wearing their digital watch the first time I met them, to be honest, I was like, I don't like it. I don't like that watch. What is that watch? Take that thing off. And then it grew on me. And I was like, no, I actually think it's really genius. And now I wear one myself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I could see the digital watch coming back in, which takes me to my next trend prediction, nerd vibes. Remember in the 2010s when like it was all about nerds, like everybody wanted to wear like suspenders and like glasses that had the white tape around the center, like nerdcore. I could see that coming back in in 2025. And I think the digital watch is like a great example of what that looks like.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
But I could see a trend of people tying tape around their glasses, like around their reading glasses. I don't think suspenders are going to come back in. I could see I can see this now when I close my eyes. Like, imagine this outfit. This is to me is like a stereotypical sort of nerd outfit. Now, by the way, the word nerd, I don't know, like stereotyping people as nerds.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Listen, I don't know if it's politically correct, but like everyone's a nerd in a little in a sort of way. And by nerdy, I mean like dorky, which I think is charming. Like it's not I'm not using the word nerd in any sort of derogatory way, but there is sort of like a stereotypical sort of nerd aesthetic. Right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
When I close my eyes and think about what version of nerd is going to come back in 2025, I think of the glasses with the tape wrapped around the center, you know, the little nose bridge, right? Very stereotypical nerd. I think of a sweatshirt, maybe like just like a basic sweatshirt or... a funny t-shirt that's like, maybe it doesn't fit particularly well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I think of maybe like a utilitarian pant of sorts, like a cargo pant, perhaps a cargo short, you know, things that are considered, not necessarily fashionable or not necessarily chic, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Perhaps like a sort of narrow fitting shoe, like a small narrow fitting shoe, like a little sneaker that's sort of a bit nerdy, like almost like a little Merrell or like a little Keen or like a little like Adidas that's sort of narrow, like, I don't know, like a narrow, small sneaker. That's the kind of nerd that I'm imagining. And I think that that's going to be really in this year.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Simple dresses that aren't super tight in neutral colors. Lots of black boots, lots of plain, simple, flat loafers, black, white, brown. I mean, yeah, it's just it's like it's very it's simple, but it does still have swag. Yeah. And the swag element is what's really hard to put a finger on. Somehow 90s minimalism, when you Google it, it doesn't look boring.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Almost like how everybody became obsessed with like Adam Sandler's street style. Cause he would just wear like a dumpy pair of like basketball shorts and like a oversized t-shirt and like sneakers. And he just looked kind of like a mess, but everybody loved it. And I think that that's going to be back where it's like nerdy, like computer lover vibes, like early two thousands nerd vibes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I see that coming back. OK, next. OK, hear me out. Clogs. Clogs are so bad. I keep seeing people wearing clogs like I'm starting to see it happen. And I think 2025 is the year of the clog, which leads me to a broader prediction I have, which is. sort of like gardening chef core. Okay. Now I'm not talking about cutesy little gardening, cutesy little chef.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Like I actually weirdly imagine people taking inspiration from what chefs actually wear or like what you really wear gardening. You know what I'm saying? Like the utilitarian gardening gloves, okay? A utilitarian chef's waist apron. I could see these things becoming fashionable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
And I think it's going to go hand in hand with, you know, gardening and cooking becoming trendy as an activity this year. But I really could see, like... I'm looking up gardening outfit on Google. Gardening outfit. Let's see what comes up. Okay, yeah. Like, apron. I could weirdly see aprons. Like, okay, obviously not, like, a literal kitchen apron or a literal gardening apron.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
But, like, little waist aprons. Honestly, kind of useful, too. Like... I would wear that if I saw like in a thrift store or something like a cute little waist belt apron. I would totally buy that and wear that like over jeans. Honestly, cute. I'm seeing some overalls. I don't know. I don't know the overalls are going to be in perhaps. I mean, it's part of the gardening aesthetic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Let me look up chef outfit. Yeah. Like I'm looking at chef outfits. It's very often the, the double button sort of jacket, right. Or shirt that could come in. Like, I don't know. I feel like gardening in chef aesthetic is going to be in, I mean, listen, do I think people are going to be wearing like a large puffy white chef's hat? Yeah. No, but I don't know. Listen, this is how I feel.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
And it could be totally off base, but I just, I don't know. That's what my gut is telling me. Clogs, aprons, utilitarian gardener, utilitarian chef. You know? Ah, fuck. I don't know. We'll see. Okay, last but not least, nautical vibes, okay? The ocean, the sea, fishermen, the whole thing. And this has been rumbling under the surface for a while now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
In fact, this honestly goes hand in hand with my boat shoe prediction, right? But I think it's going to expand. It's going to expand in 2025 and more nautical fisherman elements are going to become trendy. One very specific example, yellow raincoat in yellow rain boots. Mark my words. Yellow raincoat and yellow rain boots is very nautical fisherman outdoorsy, okay? This is something that I want.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Honestly, if this becomes trendy and brands start making yellow raincoats and yellow rain boots, I will be buying a pair of each because I'm really into this trend. I think, again, like a lot of the things that I've mentioned today...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
are super classic in timeless stripes minimalist design now yellow raincoat and yellow rain boots like those are classic pieces right but i think that all of these classic pieces are going to come back because of trend fatigue right this isn't a coincidence that a lot of these things are really classic a yellow raincoat in yellow rain boot it doesn't get more classic than that
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Not only does it fall under the sort of nautical category, which I think is coming back anyway, but it's also timeless. I'm super into it. This is actually one of the few things that I personally will be buying if I see a version of it that appeals to me because it really excites me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
There's magic happening with it somehow. I don't know. I see 90s minimalism really being the main trend this year. And here's the thing. The truth of the matter is minimalism in clothing design is timeless. Like a white button down, a pair of blue jeans, a pair of black slacks. A pair of little simple black loafers, a black boot, a white T-shirt. These things are never out. They are always in.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
And if this prediction is true, or even if it's not, I'm probably going to get my hands on it anyway because I really want a yellow pair of rain boots and I really want a yellow raincoat. It just is cute and I just want it. But jumping off of that, I think perhaps a pop of yellow could be the new pop of red. Last year, it was all about the pop of red.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I could see a pop of yellow becoming the new pop of red. That's just a brief side note. Doesn't really have anything to do with nautical, but I don't know. We'll see. Okay, back to nautical. Blue and white stripes, okay? I think stripes are going to be all the rage. I think they're going to be all the rage in a bazillion different ways. Like the black and white stripe, indie sleaze.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Blue and white stripe, nautical aesthetic, okay? Red and white stripe, nautical aesthetic, okay? I think a nautical stripe is going to be really in, which I absolutely love. Classic cable knit sweaters, like thick, chunky, high quality looking, simple, one color, neutral colors, cable knit sweater, like a cream cable knit sweater, blue cable knit sweater, not neon, not bright, muted, muted colors.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
muted colors cable knit sweater very fisherman looking very vintage looking but not vintage in like an 80s weight no classic classic simple neutral cable knit sweater thick knit thick thick yarn not thin not flimsy thick boxy fisherman cable knit sweater little fisherman's hats and OK, like a little tight little beanie or like a little tight little cap that has no bill at the front.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Like it's just a little fisherman's cap, a little. Do you know what those are like a little cap cap with no front bill? What is that called? Great, I found it. Yeah, it's a no brim hat. A pillux hat. Is that what it's called? Pillux. Watch that be like some sort of like really rude derogatory term. I always get, no, it's not called a pillux. Oh, is it Pillbox or Pillix?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
This is not what I'm looking for. This is wrong. It's a no-brim hat. Brimless hat. I think those are in. I actually almost bought a brimless hat like six months ago. I didn't end up buying it because the material was a little bit too cheap for my liking. But I've had my eye on those for a while now, and I think they're going to be in. And last but not least, in the world of nautical fashion...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
This is not very fisherman aesthetic. This is not very, it's not even that nautical. Like it is nautical, but it's like, it's a bit more elevated pearls. I think pearls are in like a little pearl necklace. I don't know. I feel like pearls haven't been in for a while and I could see pearls having a moment this year, like a chic classic pearl. Yeah. I don't know. I could see it happening. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
That is what I think is going to be in in 2025. If I literally get one of those predictions correct, I will be so stoked. I mean, the truth of the matter is a lot of those predictions aren't even... fully predictions because a lot of them are already starting to pop up now or like they already were popping up last year, but maybe they just weren't mainstream yet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
And I think they're going to go mainstream this year. And then some things were more random, but we shall see. Here's what I think is going to go out of style in 2025. These are the things that I predict are really going to go out of style in 2025. Number one, every single niche in aesthetic and core that happened in 2024. Every single one. We really, really had a quick trend cycle last year.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
And I think every single thing that we experimented with last year is just absolutely over this year. Every trend that popped up last year, we wore to death. So I think every single thing, like very few things from last year that were big are gonna make it to this year. I think most of them are going to die in 2024. Next, dressing exactly like another era on the nose, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
So a lot of people I've seen online saying like minimalism is just another trend. It's not preventing people from buying more stuff. People are going to buy minimalist design. And then when that's out, they're going to go and they're going to buy maximalist design again. minimalist stuff is just as trendy as maximalist stuff. I actually disagree.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
almost like period dressing not like period dressing like oh I'm about to have my period so I'm wearing black pants so that I don't stain my pants I mean like dressing exactly like a certain time period I don't even know what the term for that would be but you get the idea Over the last few years, there's been moments where it's been trendy to dress exactly like a certain era on the nose, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Like Y2K on the nose. That was really trendy for a little bit. Dressing super 90s on the nose was trendy for a little bit. Dressing really 70s on the nose was trendy for a little bit. Dressing super 80s on the nose. This is all within the last five years, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
At any point in time over the last five years, there's been a trend of dressing like a certain era, whether it's Y2K or 90s or 80s or 70s or 60s. Actually, not really 60s as much. But do you get what I'm saying? Like dressing exactly like a certain time period. I think that that's out completely.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
And I know that I mentioned 90s minimalism and I know that I mentioned 60s mod as being in, but I more mean elements from those time periods. I don't mean like dressing exactly like that time period. I think that dressing exactly like a certain time period, it always sort of feels costume-esque, which is not timeless, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Mixing and matching various references from various decades and making something kind of new and kind of your own. I think that's probably better. And I think that that's going to be what people are doing in 2025. I think it's going to look costumey to dress exactly Y2K, exactly 90s. Exactly 70s. You know what I mean? Even exactly 60s mod.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Even though I think a lot of elements of the 60s mod are going to be in. I think if you dress up like you're somebody in the 60s mod era, it's going to look costumey. And I think that that's not going to fly in 2025. Next, camo. Camo is so done. It's done. Unless you're literally like a deer hunter or you're in the army. Like, no. If you're just... If you're like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
like a little fashion kid in New York wearing the camo, I think that might be out. I think that might be out. I think that pattern is out. I'm sorry. I never loved it, which is, by the way, if you love camo, I'm not even kidding. If you love camo still, by all means, wear camo, okay? It's none of my business. But I think it's out. It got really big in 2024, and I think it's going to be out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Next, the whole soccer jersey trend. It was such a trend to wear international soccer jerseys. That is out. Everybody give your Argentinian soccer jersey for a team that you don't know back to your little brother who actually cares about the team. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, it's done. We're not wearing those jerseys anymore. Unless it's genuine. If you genuinely...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
love a certain soccer team and you root for them and whatever, like that's different. But there was a lot of people buying soccer jerseys and other sort of similar jerseys for the sake of fashion or stealing them from their little brothers. Give it back. you know, find somebody who you know who actually likes the team and give it to them. Just, it's over.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
There's kind of a debate happening on the internet around whether or not minimalist designs are timeless, whether or not they come in and out of style. I definitely do think... They have trendy moments, but I think unlike maximalist designs, they're always in and no one can change my mind. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
And last but not least, don't get mad at me for this, designer dupes. There was a big trend of buying designer dupes last year, which I don't think is necessarily bad. If you really love something and you can find a dupe, I'm not going to judge you. It's not about moral righteousness. I'm not saying designer dupes are out for 2025 because they're wrong. I am not the moral police here.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I think it's out because I think people are going to choose to spend that money on something unique instead. Does that make sense? Like instead of buying a dupe of something, why not take that money and buy something that just costs that much? You know, that's from like a cool, small little brand that you found online or at like a flea market or something. You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I just think designer dupes are out because I think things that are explicitly designer are out. I think if you listen to my last episode about what I think is in and out for 2025, I talked a lot about how I think flexing and extravagance and showing off wealth and all of this is out. And so I think as a result, you know, designer like buying a designer dupe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
is out like I just don't think people are going to be wasting their money on buying a dupe for something it like who cares you know like wearing designer things that are clearly designer aren't as I think a bit of the excitement around that is gone there are probably so many more trend predictions that I could come up with and so many things that I think are out but that's all I have for right now and I have to cut myself off or else I'll talk for nine hours
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
And if I keep going, I'll also just list every single possible possibility, which also makes it less fun. It's like if I just if I predict every single possible thing, like I think the 70s are going to be in and the 80s and the 90s and the 2000s. I think they're all going to be in.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Then if I get one right, it doesn't matter because I actually listed every single possible thing that could ever possibly happen. So we're going to stop here. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. I hope that you enjoyed this episode. If I said something rude about something that you like, literally allow that to strengthen your love for that particular item, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
If I came on here and said, I hate camo, I did say that. If me saying I hate camo upsets you because you love camo, allow that to further strengthen your love for camo. Say, you know what? When Emma said she hated camo, it made me so mad because I love camo. And Emma doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about. Great. Great. Wear whatever the fuck you want. Pay attention to the trend cycles.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Ignore the trend cycles. Do whatever you want to do. OK, fashion is about you. Use fashion as a tool that benefits you. And it's not that deep. I love talking about it, though. Oh, my God. I love talking about fashion, but it's not that deep. But we'll see what happens. We'll see if I get anything right. I really, really think the yellow raincoat, I keep almost calling it a raincoot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
It's very weird. I really do think that the yellow raincoat and the yellow rain boots are going to come back. I have the same feeling about that that I had about the boat shoes. Like it was almost like it was like God came down and told me. So we'll see. Anywho, that's all I have to say. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. It's always a pleasure.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I think minimalist design is really going to be in, in 2025, but it's never going to be out because it's too simple to ever be in or out. You know what I'm saying? If you were doing sort of the clean girl aesthetic in 2024, 2023, 2024, um, which consisted of the slick back bun, the trench coats, the dress pants, the little loafers, the little button-up shirts. It's just very chic and classy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
If you enjoyed it, come back every Thursday and Sunday and hang out. Anything goes is anywhere that you stream podcasts and also on YouTube. So come hang out on YouTube now. It's pretty awesome. Check out anything goes on social media at anything goes. Check out me on social media at Emma Chamberlain and check out my coffee company at chamberlaincoffee.com and at chamberlaincoffee on social media.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
That's all I got. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. I love you. I love you. I love you. And I'll talk to you soon and bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Literally, just by styling that slightly different, maybe doing your hair a little bit different, maybe accessorizing a little bit differently, you now have 90s minimalism, right? And then in a few years when there's a new sort of minimalist style that's in, You can reuse those pieces again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I just... I really do think when it comes to trends, any sort of minimalist trend, to me, is the safest one to buy into because you actually can reuse those pieces in a million different ways. So I think...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
investing in good minimalist pieces I would be shocked if you regretted it you know unless you're just a maximalist at heart and you don't like clothes like that fair enough but I do think it's going to be trendy to buy you know good basics and stuff like I think that's going to be really in and styling them in unique ways that have sort of magic I think that's going to be in but
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
But I don't think it's something we're ever going to look back at and cringe at, which is cool. It's cool when a trend also is timeless and it's rare. So I think this is one of the rare times when something timeless will be trendy. Moving on. OK, so in 2024, the concept of Jane Birkening your bag. Are we remembering this?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
This is the concept of taking your purse and attaching a bunch of personalized objects onto it. tying a bandana onto it, putting little charms on it, attaching jewelry to it, inspired by Jane Birkin of the 60s who carried around her iconic Birkin bag that she attached a bunch of little accessories to that were personal to her.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Imagine she's wearing a bandana around her neck and then gets a bit warm and then ties it around her purse to give her neck some air. That's the idea, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Organically and authentically accessorizing her purse through necessity and convenience, weirdly enough, became a trend in 2024 where everybody was buying charms and finding bandanas and things in their drawers and then adding it to their bag to make it look authentic like Jane Birkin's bag.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I don't have a crystal ball. Some of these predictions are random gut feelings. Some of these predictions are based on what I've studied, sort of starting to become popular over the past few years, but haven't fully gone mainstream yet. And I predict that this year they will go mainstream. So it's a combination of gut feelings and educated guesses.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
fascinating trend I don't think it's ending in 2025 I think it's going to expand in 2025 in 2024 it was all about the bag right accessorizing the bag in that way I think in 2025 it's about doing that with everything okay your favorite hat put a bunch of pins on it embroider a heart into it Put a patch on it on your jacket. There's a rip.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
You sew it with contrasting thread like a let's say it's a black jacket. You fix the the rip with white thick thread. You know, you put pins on it. You put patches on it. your favorite pair of jeans. You put little accessories on the belt loops.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
You again, put patches, sew up the holes with bright thread, you know, paint your name onto the pocket, like accessorize, accessorize, accessorize with shoes, paint on your shoes. Like you get what I'm saying? Like making your pieces really, really unique to you. Because I think that what's going on right now is that a lot of people are craving a sense of personal style.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
And I've seen a lot of discourse around personal style and how personal style is sort of dead because of the internet. Whether or not that's true, that's a conversation for another day. But I think this idea of personalization is going to give people the feeling of personal style. Because you can have the same pair of jeans as somebody else. In fact, you probably do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
What sets you apart is how you personalize them. What sets them apart is that it's the pair that is your favorite that you wear three days a week. You know, this idea of really personalizing your items and having less items as well. Because I think prior to recently, it's been all about having a lot of stuff, having a
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
especially if you're into fashion, having as many options as possible so that you can constantly be wearing a new outfit. That was sort of trendy, right, for many years, to always be wearing a new outfit, to never wear the same outfit twice.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I think that that's out, and I think having signature pieces that are super personalized that you wear over and over and over again and you style a multitude of ways, I think that's in. I even thought about it in terms of the Stanley Cup, which is not really a fashionable thing. That's more of like a pop culture obsession. I love the Stanley Cup. I have a Stanley Cup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
But I even thought about it like this, like this is almost a metaphor for what I mean for fashion in like clothing and stuff.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
It's the idea of like, instead of having every single color of Stanley Cup, instead of having the bright pink one and the blue one and the sparkly white one and the brown one and the orange one and the green one, you just have one that's your favorite color and you put stickers on it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
You take your watch off in the middle of the day and you attach it to your Stanley Cup and you, it's like truly a utilitarian, like, fully functional item and it is your personal favorite item, it becomes a special thing to you. If you only have one and the one that you do have, you use every day or very consistently and it looks like you, it becomes your iconic Stanley Cup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
That I think is going to be cool. That's going to be the way that we consume, I think, in 2025. Instead of having nine pairs of jeans, you have two and they're both really special. And they're known as like, oh, those are Emma's jeans. Like if somebody were to see your signature pair of jeans on a mannequin in a store, they'd be like, wait, those are what? Those are Emma's jeans.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Do you see what I'm saying here? Yeah. having signature, super personalized stuff that you rewear over and over and over again. I honestly love this idea and hope that it ends up happening because I think something that a lot of us are missing, especially those of us who love fashion and love to participate in fashion, is a sort of attachment to our belongings, our clothing, our accessories that
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
The educated guesses are less satisfying if they come true because it's like I saw it coming in the world, right? The gut feelings, those, if they come true, are so much more rewarding. So hopefully, well, whatever. I'll just be happy if I get anything right. So let's begin. 2025 fashion trend predictions.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Nowadays, it's about buying more by whatever means necessary, thrifting, buying online for really cheap, or just wasting a lot of money, whatever. And it's impossible to have any sort of attachment or appreciation for... the pieces that you have when you have more than you could ever wear. Do you know what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
So, I think we're gonna swing in the opposite direction and it'll become cool to be seen in your iconic pair of jeans that everybody knows are your jeans. Does that make sense? Like, it'll be cooler... To repeat stuff. I don't know. We'll see. That might be a pipe dream. Okay, next. Gaunt makeup. By gaunt makeup, I mean no blush, no highlighter, no faux freckles.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I'm talking about sharp contour, otherwise sort of even complexion, right? Like you're not adding blush. You're not adding freckles. You're not adding all this stuff. Other than that, it's just like sort of flat, not dewy, but also not matte sort of face with contour, cool tones, neutral tones, but mainly cool tones. Yeah. kind of gaunt makeup. This to me is very like 90s minimalist as well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
It kind of goes hand in hand with that vibe. But it also goes hand in hand with another one of my predictions. I feel like the makeup trend for the past few years has been really sweet, really warm, really youthful, really bright, really happy. And I think there's going to be a shift to more of a grungier, sort of darker sort of look.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
And you know, I'm actually not mad about this because I've been doing my makeup like this when I do my own makeup anyway. for quite a while now, mainly because I think it emphasizes my personal features the best.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Like, I don't think I look good when I have a lot of blush on or when I have, you know, like highlighter on my little nose and in the little corners of my eye, in the little inner corner of my eye. Like, I just don't really look good like that, in my opinion. Like, I look better, in my opinion, with more like Tim Burton-y kind of makeup. I like that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
I mean, I also like the Tim Burton movies and I grew up watching them and loving them. And it's more of like a sort of creepy sort of vibe. And I've always loved that. So, and I feel like, you know, I have the dark circles under my eyes and I have sort of big eyes, kind of maybe I wish like a Tim Burton character I can only dream about.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
that I look like a Tim Burton character, but it's like, so I like to make myself look even more like a Tim Burton character by like not covering my dark circles with concealer, by just doing like light face makeup that just exactly matches my skin tone and is like not even noticeable. It just makes it look like I just have more even complexion than I do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fashion trend predictions for 2025 {video]
Contouring the face, cool toned neutrals on the eyes, mascara, and then like a deep pinky brown overlined lip. And it makes my eyes look like big and scary and the dark circle looks dark. And I like it. I just I like it. I don't know why. But I actually think it's going to be in. And I could be wrong because I mean, I've been doing it for a few years now, maybe like two or three, perhaps.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Hey there, and welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything, and I mean anything, you want advice on. And then I give you my own professional advice. And today's topic is the complicated relationship between romance and friendship, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
To find a way to coexist with this person when you absolutely have to, when it's your partner's birthday, when, you know, your partner's really excited about a football game and invites you and his friends to this football game. And it's really important to him that everybody's there because he loves this football team and he just wants everybody to be to be together, whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Like, I do think that it's important to respect that. that for the sake of your boyfriend however I don't think you need to be friends with your boyfriend's friend okay it'd be one thing if your boyfriend was saying like hey can we find a way to coexist I think that's a fair request you know sometimes we have to compromise sacrifice and deal with unfortunate shit in relationships.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Like, it's inevitable. When two people are involved with each other, complicated things always arise, and we have to sometimes just deal with it because that's a part of being in a relationship. Coexisting is a fair request. Being friends, I think... that's something you can't force. Like he can't ask you to be friends with his friend. Unfortunately, friendship can't be forced.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
You're either clicking with someone or you're not. And so if you're not clicking with someone, you can definitely find a way to coexist. Everyone can coexist, but you can't force that friendship. And I think that that's what you need to tell your boyfriend. You need to be like, listen, I'm going to make it a priority to be able to coexist with him.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
in a way that doesn't cause any grief or upset for you, right? When we're all together because something is happening, an event is occurring where you want everyone all together, all your loved ones all together, I will show up and I will find a way to keep the spirits up and keep my distance from him. Like I'll manage that situation, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
But I can't force friendship and I don't click with this person. And I'm sorry, like I wish I would love to be friends with him, but we just don't click. And so you can tell your boyfriend having our relationships be separate, right? Having your friendship with your best friend be separate from my relationship with you, my boyfriend. is gonna be crucial because I just do not like this person.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And that's totally fine. You don't have to like everyone in your partner's life. But see, it's a bit tricky, right? Because it's like, I do think there's a huge difference between coexisting and being friends. And I think sometimes that can be a bit confusing to people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
It can be a bit confusing to distinguish, but I think clarifying and distinguishing the difference to your partner, And basically laying out on the table what you're able to do and what you're not, I think is the best that you can do. And, you know, again, you can remind your partner, this is a normal part of relationships. We have to make compromises.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
We have to sometimes deal with shit that isn't ideal. But, you know, you can say to your partner, I love you. I'm willing to do it to this extent. And I hope you're cool with that, you know? I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Hotels.com. I love to travel, and I love staying at hotels.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
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romance vs friendship, advice session
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
This could be you if you sign up at Hotels.com. Become a member for free and save on hundreds of thousands of hotels at Hotels.com. Now, let's get back to the episode. Somebody said, my boyfriend and Bestie do not get along. I have no idea how to navigate this situation. I love them both so much. Again, I mean, as I just discussed, right? Like, unfortunately, friendship cannot be forced.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
From my experience with that, it almost feels innate and inevitable. In an ideal world, we would feel comfortable with our significant others being friends with somebody who they could technically be attracted to, right? I think we all would love to reach that level of security in ourselves, in our relationships. confidence in ourselves and our relationships.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
It's almost something that goes even beyond the human level. It's almost sort of spiritual. I on any level, friendship, romantic, whatever, is almost out of our control. I can't tell you how many people have disliked me for no reason and vice versa. I can't tell you how many people I've disliked for no reason. It's just, I don't even know how to explain it. It's like an energy thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
You know, sometimes people just don't click. And I think the worst thing you can do is try to force that in any capacity. Now, listen, I understand it is really challenging to have your inner circle not click, right? It sucks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
But I think similar to the last piece of advice I gave for the last sort of dilemma, you can't ask them to be friends because again, like that's just impossible to force, but you can ask them to coexist. You can say, listen, I get it. You guys don't like each other. Now, listen, I suggest that you have these conversations separately with the two of them. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Don't bring them both in the same room. That's a little, that's not good, but have two separate conversations and say, listen, I'm not going to force you both to be friends. I am not going to force you both to be in the same room more than necessary, but there are going to be moments when it's my birthday. You know, I have a dance performance. I don't know what you do. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
But you get what I'm saying? Like there are going to be moments when, you both are going to need to coexist. And I just politely and respectfully ask you both to figure it out, you know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
And I think when it comes to your own feelings, right, in addition to this sort of conversation, you kind of have to accept the fact that not everyone is going to be friends, you know, and maybe that's a deal breaker for you. in friendship or in romantic relationship, it might be a deal breaker for you. And that might be something that you discover through this experience.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
It might be so miserable for you that they're not friends that you might have to end one of the relationships. That happens sometimes. But listen, there's also a chance that like give it five years and they could grow on each other and end up liking each other. You never know. But I think in the meantime, you know, have that conversation and try to figure out if this is a deal breaker for you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
And if it's not, then slowly but surely come to terms with the fact that friendship can't be forced. Okay, next. Somebody said, I'm in an uncomfortable situation with my best friend. We loved each other at different times and kind of never got on the same page. Can we even salvage the friendship? I absolutely think you can salvage the friendship, to be honest.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Listen, it does get really complicated the second a friendship turns romantic. it gets tricky. And it can be incredible because I think friendship is obviously the most important foundational element of a romantic relationship. So I think it's great to be friends first. I haven't done that very many times, but I always give that advice because I think it's...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
incredible, you know, to be platonic for a bit, I think can be really helpful. Anyway, but that's not the point of this. That's a tangent. I'm off on a tangent. The question is, can you salvage the friendship if you both were sort of in love with each other at different times? I think yes. I truly. I think more than ever, you two need to be open books with each other.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
And I think it starts with a sit down, a dinner, a coffee date, a something where you just lay it all out on the table. Okay. You talk about how you used to feel. You talk about how you feel now. You ask them how they used to feel, how they feel now. And together you figure out how you can be friends again. You know, does it mean that romance between the two of you is off the table?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Maybe that's a boundary in the friendship just because, you know, you know that you both are prone to having romantic feelings towards each other, but because it's, never worked in the past. Maybe you both are like, you know what? I don't want to be romantic with this person. I just want to be friends. I love our friendship. I cherish our friendship. That's all I want it to be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
You know, maybe that's a boundary that you both can establish. Or maybe it's like, you know what? We don't want that boundary, actually. Maybe you both decide together, like, let's just take it one day at a time. Let's start out being friends and we'll just see where it goes. Like if... someone starts to develop feelings, like we'll be honest with each other and go from there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
But I think for most of us, majority of the time, this is an uncomfortable situation. We don't like when our significant others have friends that they could technically have sex with. Well, we could have sex with anyone, but you get what I'm saying? Like they would be down to have sex with, right? It's not ideal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
I really do think it can be salvaged. I think through communication, understanding where you both are at and together coming up with, like kind of building the terms of your friendship moving forward, I think that... can absolutely be possible. I do think it's a bit complicated if one of you is still in love with the other, or maybe you both are still a little in love with each other.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
In that case, it's almost like, just go on a date. You know what I mean? Or start hanging out again, and if the feelings become overwhelming, confess your love. It's tough. I will say, I get what you mean. It's tough because there were so many complicated emotions in the past. Those emotions might come back. They might even still somewhat be present.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Well, to me, though, I'm thinking about it and I'm like, if you both have been sort of in love with each other, why don't you give it a chance? Like go on a date, you know, like give it a go.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Unless I guess one of you or both of you are in new romantic relationships, then it's a bit more complicated because now you're, you know, introducing the emotions of both of your partners or one of your partners, if you, if not both of you are in relationships. Now you have to consider, okay, is this significant other okay with this friendship that did have a bit of,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
romantic undertones to it, now there's an added level of complication. But if you both are single, the friendship can absolutely be salvaged. And listen, I wouldn't close yourself off to the potential for romance. Why not? I don't know. Like, what's wrong with that? There's nothing to be afraid of. Commitment is beautiful, people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
I guess my final conclusion would be, yes, you can be friends again. But I think you just need to communicate. And everybody's feelings need to be considered. You know, both of your feelings need to be considered. If there are now new significant others in the picture, their feelings need to be considered. I think as long as everyone's on the same page...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
and everyone's comfortable with the terms of the friendship, yes, you can absolutely continue to be friends. But I think it gets complicated when there are things that aren't being discussed. There's like an elephant in the room. That's when it's uncomfortable to continue being friends. Because then you're like hanging out and you're like... Do they like me still? Like, do I like them still?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
This is kind of awkward. Like, then it just, it's like, it's not, you can't do it. You know what I mean? It's really uncomfortable. You have to be open books with each other. And you know what's actually beautiful about that? That experience will make the friendship deeper. Anytime there's sort of a rift in a relationship, getting through it makes the relationship so much stronger.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
So I think if you both can get through this, You might end up on the other end with a super strong, beautiful friendship or maybe even a really deep, meaningful, romantic connection. Who knows? You know, I wouldn't close yourself off to either. I don't know. OK, somebody said, I can't tell if I actually like this guy, my friend, or if I just like the idea of him. He's perfect on paper.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
However, we can be platonic friends with people that we could also technically be physically attracted to, right? This is just a fact. Some people disagree with me on that. Some people are pretty adamant about believing that relationships between two people who could technically be attracted to each other, there's usually some sort of sexual undertone. Some people really believe that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
How do I figure it out? Is it worth trying? OK, well, it's a good sign that you're already friends with this guy because chances are, you know him pretty well. Like if you consider him a friend, you know him better than somebody who just met him at a bar. You know what I mean? Who's talked to him for 20 minutes. Right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
I think it's more concerning when you meet someone at a bar and you talk to them for 20 minutes. And you're like, oh, my God, I'm in love with this guy. Like, oh, my God, he's perfect. That's a lot more concerning to me than you feeling this way about your friend. You actually know this kid. OK, you hang out with him. You've spent time with him.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
There's still, listen, whenever you date someone, a new side of them comes out inevitably, okay? Just eventually the real them is revealed, right? In a way that you never see in friendship. Like the guys that I've dated have seen a version of me that my best friends have never seen. It's just the real you, the deepest, most vulnerable you comes out eventually, right? In a healthy relationship.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
And so actually, you know, I've even been in relationships where that doesn't come out now that I think about it, but usually it comes out. You know what I mean? But I think through being friends with this guy, you're probably not going to ever see that side. To see that side, I think you need to be dating him. Probably.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
So my honestly, I feel like because you already have a foundation of friendship and so far he's proven to be a really awesome guy. As you say, he's perfect on paper. I think you pursue him. I mean, you already know more about him than most people know about people that they go on a first date with. Right. Like most people are finding people on dating apps and going on a date completely blind.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
they have no foundation of friendship, right? And I think foundation of friendship is really important. Not that you can't do that on a dating app. I think you can absolutely be like, I'm looking to be friends first, you know, whatever. I don't know. I don't use dating apps, so I can't really speak to it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
But you know this guy more than the average person knows about somebody that they're going on a date with. Okay, so I say, it sounds like you actually like this guy. It sounds like, I don't think you just like the idea of him if you're friends. Like I think, again, you've reached your limit. Like you know as much as you can know about him as a friend.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Now, to really figure out if you like him, you have to pursue him. You have to go on a date. You have to see if you get butterflies. You have to maybe share a smooch at some point. You know, see how it makes you feel. You need to... talk to him at two in the morning on the phone and see if it's fun for you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Like, I think that's how you figure out if you truly like him at this point, because he's already passed the first test, the friendship test. Now, I must say this, though. You can like the idea of someone even when you're dating them. Like, that is always a risk, okay? I've fully dated guys and then realized after, like... Wait, I didn't even like them. Like, I loved the idea of them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
They were not good for me. You know what I mean? But in my imagination, they were incredible for me. You know, that's still a risk, right? But I do think that the truest test of, you know, do I like this person or do I just like the idea of them is to spend time together to really get to know them. to really grow a bond and have that quality time to analyze.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
If you don't have quality time with this person, there's nothing to form an opinion on. You need to bond with this person. And, you know, if they end up not being fun to be around, if they end up kind of sucking, right, then you can be like, oh, shit, I think I did just like the idea of them. They are not who I thought they were. But until you have those hours... You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Until you've spent the time, you won't know. You just, you won't know. You kind of have to give it a try. I mean, I guess you could technically as friends, you know, really analyze him and compare what he is in your imagination to how he behaves in real life. That could totally be helpful too, you know, before you truly pursue him.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
But I really think you just need to give it a try and see what he ends up being like before on a daily basis, on a weekly basis, on a monthly basis, you know, only then will you really see who he is in a relationship. And you'll see if he really is who you think he is. And I wish you luck. Anyway, that's it for today's episode of Advice Session.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
I do believe, because I've experienced this, that, you know, like, I've been friends with straight men before. And it been completely... platonic on my end and honestly on their end as well maybe deep down they had a little crush on me but they didn't make it clear and everything was fine so I do think it's possible some people disagree with me on that I think it's possible listen
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
If you enjoyed this, new episodes of Advice Session every other Sunday and new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. So tune in, come hang out. It's always fun. Check out Anything Goes everywhere at Anything Goes. Check out me everywhere at Emma Chamberlain and check out my coffee company everywhere at Chamberlain Coffee. I love you all. I appreciate you all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Whether you're dating your friend of five years or you hate your significant other's best friends, There's like a weird, complicated relationship between friendship and romance. There just is. It's messy for some reason. And so that's what we're going to be diving into today. So I guess without further ado, let's begin.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
And I'll talk to you soon. I'll talk to you soon. All right. Talk to you later. Bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
OK, to start, you shouldn't feel guilty if you are feeling guilty about how you feel. You shouldn't. OK, as I just mentioned, I think this is sort of a biological thing. This feeling of protectiveness, of skepticism, of, you know, feeling like, wait, are they going to end up falling in love with that person and leaving me for them?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Like, I think that that's normal and natural, but it's what you do about those feelings that that matters. It's what you do about those feelings that you have control over. You don't have control over the way you feel. If that feels threatening and uncomfortable for you, you can't control that. You know what I'm saying? That's how you feel. So now you have to figure out what you're gonna do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
I think you have a few options here. Number one, you could confront your partner and just be completely honest and say, listen, This friendship makes me uncomfortable. I don't really know what to do because you both are friends and I can't really stop you both from being friends. But it really bothers me. It makes me uncomfortable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
And let's come up with a solution together because I don't really have the answer. Okay. That's the first and probably best option. You present the problem and say, listen, I don't know how to solve this. What are you comfortable with? What do you think we should do? And kind of leave it in your partner's court in a way. So that's option number one.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Option number two, I would say, would be to do a bit of soul searching. Don't necessarily bring it up immediately. Try to figure out why this bothers you so much. Do you think it's just... innate biological protectiveness? Or do you think that you have some sort of underlying trust issues, perhaps from a past relationship that's now coming up here in a way that's irrational?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Or do you think that maybe you're struggling with your self-esteem? And I'm not saying that in a rude or derogatory way towards you, but I've experienced this a trillion times. It's very normal. But if our self-esteem is low, we can sometimes look at somebody who we might vaguely deem as competition.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
You know, this married woman who's friends with your with your boyfriend and sort of take out our insecurity on that person in a way. Is it that? It might make sense to do a little bit of soul searching and figure out where it's coming from. And if you discover, oh, wait, I think I have some stuff that I need to work out, then that's what you do to handle it, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
You don't necessarily need to bring it up. Because I think, listen, I'm always all about communication. My immediate suggestion is almost always going to be bring it up. Talk through it with your partner.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
But there are moments in relationships where it can be nice to figure yourself out first before you go and have a conversation because it can sometimes be sort of confusing for your partner, perhaps, if you go to them with sort of an underdeveloped point of view and then they get confused and they're maybe misreading where you're coming from. It can be complicated.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
It can be really nice to sort of figure yourself out first. And a lot of times that will give you a clearer direction of what to do. You know, like you can bring it up right away and just knock it out. But you could also look inward first and then let that guide your decision. I think both approaches work.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
I think the difference between the two approaches is that the first approach, just bringing it up and saying, listen, I'm uncomfortable and it doesn't really matter why I'm uncomfortable and let's figure this out. What do you think we should do? That's good because I think working together to figure out a solution is really helpful. But there's definitely a bit less soul searching in that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
And so I think only you can decide if the soul searching is necessary. And if you think it is, then option two works better for you. Or it's like, okay, I'm going to figure out what's bothering me first, why it's bothering me. Is it rational or is it a bit irrational? And then take the next step from there. Either resolve it on your own or bring it up, depending on what you discover.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Okay, next, somebody said, I don't like my boyfriend's best friend. We're in a friend group where we're all couples. I never got along with his bestie that well, but it was okay for a while. Overall, he's not a nice guy though. He's mean to me and to his girlfriend, and I think he's kind of misogynistic. The other day, he was rude to me and I cried about it. How do I go about this situation?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
If he weren't my boyfriend's best friend, I would never want to see him again. What do I tell my boyfriend? This is my opinion. I think you don't talk to your boyfriend about anything. I think you talk to this boy. OK, I think you talk to your boyfriend's best friend. I think you need to confront him. Listen, is it kind of a red flag that your boyfriend is friends with an asshole? Yes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
But, you know, I don't know how much your boyfriend knows. Like, is your boyfriend seeing him be mean to to you and his girlfriend, you know, I don't know. Like, I don't know the full story. So I'd like to believe he's not seeing that with his own two eyes and just saying it's all right, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Like, I'd like to believe if he saw that with his own two eyes, he would stand up for you and ideally even... the girlfriend as well, but assuming that he's not fully aware of what's going on, I think it makes most sense to confront your boyfriend's best friend because he's really the problem, okay? And you're all in a friend group.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
It's like, imagine you were in this friend group and your boyfriend wasn't present, right? Obviously, I know you said that if you weren't with your boyfriend, you'd never want to see this guy again. But you're in a big friend group with a lot of people that I bet you really enjoy. Otherwise, you wouldn't be friends with them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
So imagine you were in this friend group and your boyfriend wasn't present. What would you do? You'd have no one to complain to, right? You'd have to just go to this person and say, hey, you're an asshole. You know, like we need to figure this out. Listen, that's not what you should say, but you get what I'm saying. Like kind of take your boyfriend out of the equation for a second and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Because it really isn't about your boyfriend. It's really about your relationship with this boy who sucks, who's mean, right? My suggestion would be... And listen, I know this is uncomfortable, but in a friend group, sometimes this is what has to be done, okay? I would say, confront this boy and say, listen... I enjoy being in this friend group. Obviously, my boyfriend's your best friend.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Being around you is tough for me because I find that you're constantly disrespecting me. I mean, you're also disrespecting your girlfriend, which makes me upset. And you're just overall not a nice guy. And like, I really want... to have a strong friendship with you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
And I really want to get along with you because not only do I love my boyfriend and I want to, you know, support him, but also because we're all in a friend group together and life is more fun when we can all have fun together. So I just want to understand what's going on. A lot of times people are assholes because it's a defense mechanism. They're hurting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
There's a good chance that somehow, for whatever reason, this boy's hurting. And I mean, listen, is he going to open up to you? Probably not. But in a way being like, what's going on? You know, like, are you okay? Why are you acting like this? Why are you treating people like this? Not only is it hurting others, but it's a sign that you're hurting, that you are hurting. You know, what's going on?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
If you can ask him what's going on and try to the best of your ability to be a little empathetic, with him, you'd be shocked at how much that can soften a person up. And the truth is, if you don't confront him, it's clear his girlfriend's not doing it. Like no one will. Somebody has to confront him if he's being an asshole.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
And it's the right thing to do to tell him what's up and say, you can't act like this. It's horrible to be around. And it's clear that something's bothering you. What's going on? Like, I really think that that's the right thing to do. Now, if this goes well, problem solved. You know, you can start to develop a friendship with this guy. Hopefully it'll soften him up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Maybe it'll wake him up to his evil demeanor and he'll maybe even start being nicer to his girlfriend. Like, who knows? You know, it's crazy what can come from gentle confrontation, right? Sometimes people just need to be confronted and humbled in a way and it'll change everything. But there's also a chance that that won't work out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Okay, so what happens if you confront him and he continues to treat you and his girlfriend like shit and he continues to just be horrible to be around? What do you do? I think at that point, it does make sense to talk to your boyfriend and be like, listen, I don't know what to do because your best friend is horrible to be around. Being around him puts me in a bad mood.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
I don't know that I can hang out with this group of friends anymore forever. Like, I want to be able to have this group of friends with you, but it's so miserable because of this guy. And I've tried to confront him and I'm just stuck at this point. I don't really want to be a part of this friend group anymore, but also I love you. And so I want to hang out with your friends and our friends.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Like, I'm stuck. What do you think I should do? Similar to my last piece of advice for the first dilemma that we discussed, I think it's totally okay to confront your partner and say, listen, here's the problem. Now, help me come up with a solution, you know, because... So, yeah. That doesn't always work because, again, there's two people in the relationship.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
I think the best solution is found collaboratively a lot of times. Unless you know for sure what you need, right? But sometimes we don't know. And in this situation, you don't know how to go about it. You don't know how to solve it. You're conflicted. You're confused. So I think it can be really helpful to go to your partner and say, what should we do? You know, I can't keep going on like this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
We need to figure out a solution. What do you think? And, you know, hopefully you both can can find a happy solution where both of you are getting what you need. You know, like if your boyfriend really needs to be friends with this guy, then maybe it means that he goes and hangs out with that guy without you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Maybe your boyfriend decides that he's going to have a serious conversation with his friend. And if his friend doesn't improve his behavior, he's going to end the friendship. But it's impossible for me to give advice on what that is. Only you two can decide. But I do really think you should try to confront the friend first.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Okay, next, somebody said, my partner wants me to be friends with one of his friends that I really don't like, and they trigger me badly. How do we get through this? Well, we're not gonna like everyone in our partner's lives, okay? It's kind of inevitable that there's going to be someone in our partner's lives that we just don't get along with. It might be a sibling. It might be a family member.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
It might be a friend. This is inevitable. Now, it is important to find a way to coexist, right? It's definitely not healthy to dislike someone in your partner's life so much to the point that you can't even be around each other, right? Like, let's say... Well, in this case, you really don't like your boyfriend's friend. Ideally, you can get to a place where you can at least coexist.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
Somebody said, my boyfriend has a female bestie. She's married and has a family, but their friendship still feels too close for my comfort. What do I do? Sigh. This is tough because I think it's almost biological or something for us to get protective over our significant others when they're friends with someone who technically they could be attracted to.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
romance vs friendship, advice session
So, for example, at your boyfriend's birthday party, it's not like the whole evening is ruined because you guys hate each other. Right. That's not fair to your partner. And again, it's sort of inevitable that you're not going to like everyone in your partner's life. So you kind of have to figure out a way to coexist. So I think I would suggest that you try to find it in yourself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
So this week, I came to the conclusion that I have to go completely sober from alcohol. Completely sober. Like, no little glass of wine here, tequila soda there. I'm talking completely sober. I'm talking I go to a bar and order a sparkling water with lime. Sober. possibly for the rest of my life. Now, I know what you're thinking. Wow, that's great. That's amazing. That's beautiful.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
There's definitely something going on with me and with alcohol. So now I'm faced with a really harsh reality, which is that alcohol simply does not agree with my body. Now, I could go to the doctor and get it checked out and potentially understand, like, if there are certain types of alcohol that impact me worse or if I should just avoid everything altogether.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Like, I could get some sort of confirmation from a doctor or Or I could save myself an afternoon and just take this as a sign that maybe I shouldn't drink at all anymore. Now, when I first came to this conclusion, I was like, that's not really that big of a deal. And then about five minutes into coming to that conclusion, I genuinely started to mourn the loss of alcohol in my life.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Like genuinely, I was I genuinely began to feel sad. Number one, because and this is not like morally the most admirable thing I'm ever going to say, but I don't have a lot of fun stuff left. OK, I used to have a really severe nicotine addiction. That's something that I've been working on. Over the past year, I've come a really long way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
I'm not ready to talk about it yet because I want to make sure I'm really in a good space before I discuss it. But let's just say that I'm not consuming nicotine on a consistent basis anymore. Like I'm going weeks and weeks and weeks without having any nicotine at all. I don't even drink to get drunk anymore. Like I was just drinking for the experience of alcohol.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Like I can't smoke weed because like it gives me panic attacks and it's actually given me like it's triggered some really unfavorable mental health challenges for me. Smoking weed, like eating edibles. I've had some really bad experiences that have left lingering effects for me mentally. Like what do I fucking have? Like, everybody has their vice, you know? Like, they smoke cigarettes.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
But now hindsight being 2020, I look at it and I'm like, just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean it's OK for you to do it. Right. Just because everybody else drinks a lot in their 20s, just because everybody else was drinking a lot because it was the pandemic and everybody was feeling nihilistic and confused doesn't mean it's OK that I did it. Not everybody makes that choice.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
They have a vape. They drink wine. They, you know, smoke weed. Like, it's... And none of these things are good. None of these things are healthy. But I feel like everyone fucking has at least one... And every single fucking one for me, it doesn't work with my body. And maybe it doesn't work with anyone's body and I'm just more sensitive than others.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
But part of me is like, for fuck's sake, let me have a vice, goddammit. I look up to the heavens above and I say, where's mine? Okay? Like, now I can't even have a glass of fucking wine? Are you kidding me? Like, I feel like I've... Holy shit. Like I'm somehow by some miracle almost completely like eradicated my nicotine addiction.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Like the one thing I had that I liked was having a glass of fucking wine on the weekends. God damn it. Now what? I was overcome with anger being like, where's my vice? It honestly made me want to go back to nicotine. I was like, this is so unfair. But then, you know, I picked myself back up and I was like, Emma, no. No.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
No, you can't look at it like that because none of this stuff is healthy and you aren't owed any of these... You know what I mean? Like, that's a weird way of thinking about it. Like, you don't need to have a vice. In fact, you should be striving to not have one. And in a way, it's sort of a blessing that my body's...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
reacting negatively to these things because it's so much harder to quit when your body's not, right? Like honestly, quitting nicotine became easier once I realized that not having nicotine in my system made me less anxious.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
And I was struggling with such severe anxiety that once I realized that my body felt better without it, even though I was still having withdrawals and I was still like fiending for it in a way, like, you know, it made it easier knowing that like it was having a negative effect on my body.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
If I had not started like throwing up from wine and if I hadn't gotten hives from vodka years ago and I hadn't connected the dots today and been like, okay, obviously there's a reoccurring theme here and it's progressively, it's getting more and more frequent, you know, I would keep drinking forever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
However, you know, if you read any article today about alcohol, there's no argument that alcohol is healthy for you at all, right? You know, like there's more and more studies coming out being like, no, you just shouldn't drink alcohol at all. Right. Like there's there used to be sort of claims like, you know, red wine is good for you. Now it's like, no, no.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
The healthiest amount of alcohol is zero. No exceptions. Right. That's what I've seen on the Internet and scientists talking about and stuff. So as you can tell, I experienced a mix of emotions. feeling sort of bad for myself in a weird way. Like, Oh, poor Emma. She doesn't get to have any vices, you know, like no smoking cigarettes for her.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Well, I never smoked cigarettes, but no vaping for her, no nicotine for her, no marijuana for her. Now, not even a fucking glass of wine with dinner for her. Like she gets, I mean, for fuck's sake, I feel like I'm like a nun or something, you know, it's, it's incredible. Um, and I don't even, I'm not here to, by choice. I'm like here because my body has made the choice for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
And in some ways it feels challenging and unfair. Like, why don't I get to have these fun things? But then in other ways, I'm like, what a fucking miracle because these things are unhealthy, dangerous, and horrible for your health and overall physical and mental well-being. So it's complicated. And I'm sharing the fact that I...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
feel sad that I don't get to have any vices it seems anymore because that's the true like that's that's a true honest reaction to this reality for me if I came on here and said it's really a miracle because this stuff's so unhealthy So I'm so glad. In what way would that be helpful to you or to anyone?
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Because then when you are faced with quitting various vices in your life and you feel like, fuck, like I need a vice. Like I can't lose all my vices. Like I need my vices. When you're struggling with that feeling, maybe you can think of me. You know, I know what you're feeling. It's one of the hardest parts of it all. It's like, come on, don't I get an emotional crutch?
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
So I don't give myself a pass because everybody else was doing it. I still see that as problematic and unsustainable behavior. Anyway, I was drinking a lot. 2021. And at a certain point, I started to develop rashes and hives, particularly on my face, whenever I drank. I actually wouldn't say whenever I drank because I was drinking kind of a lot and I wasn't getting rashes every single time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Like, come on, we need emotional crutches. I can't take all of mine away. But you can and you should. It's a lot easier said than done, though. But you know what I mean? Like, it's like this almost in a way like triggered me to be like, oh, I want to buy a vape now. Because I can't have wine.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
So I want to buy a vape so that I can have something that gives me that weird feeling that I can't even explain of satisfaction on the weekends when I want to celebrate. You know, it's like there's something about a glass of wine. There's something about having nicotine that like it makes you feel really good. It makes you feel celebratory. It makes you feel loose.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Like there's all these things about it that just make you feel good. And it's really hard, I think, for many of us to imagine a life without these things. And so even though I was aware and I am aware that this is ultimately a net positive in my life and this is actually kind of an amazing thing, in the moment I was mourning the loss of this, the realization was challenging for me to accept that
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
it came more uncomfortably than I expected. Like I've always preferred, say, nicotine over alcohol, you know? So like, it's only now that I don't have nicotine and now I don't have alcohol. It's like, oh my God, I have nothing. I have nothing. And I was thinking about it. I was like, what is the thing I'm really going to miss the most?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
And what I realized was more than anything else, more than the celebratory feeling, more than the chemicals that it releases in my brain that make me feel good, more than anything else, I'm going to miss the third space, going to a bar.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
I love going to a fucking wine bar on a Saturday night and sitting and having two glasses of wine over the course of a few hours, talking to friends, meeting new people randomly. Like, I fucking love that. And it's one of the things I look forward to all week, you know, like having a glass or two of wine at a wine bar after dinner. I could not adore that more.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
And now I'm going to feel weirdly fraudulent in this environment. Like going to a bar and ordering a sparkling water is like, it's fine, by the way. And if anyone has anything to say about it, they're a piece of shit. It's totally fine. But it does feel a little bit like you don't feel like you're participating in the environment that you're in. You do feel kind of fraudulent.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
You feel like, well, why am I even here? I'm not even purchasing something of value from this business. You know what I mean? Like, what do I do? And, you know, luckily at my favorite wine bar, they sell other things. They have like apple cider and stuff. But it's like, do I even fucking like apple cider? Not really. I don't like juice. I don't like drinking juice. Okay. Like that's not my vibe.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
I don't like that shit. So it feels pointless. It's hard to find purpose in like going to that third space now and hanging out when I'm not even participating in the activity that that place has to offer. Yeah. And I think, you know, now more than ever, I personally really value third spaces. And if you don't know what a third space is, it's like not your work. It's not your home.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
It's a third space. It's like a place to hang out, meet people, be social. That's not a part of your daily routine, work and home, you know? So, you know, can I still go to these third spaces, go to a bar and order a sparkling water with lime and just sit there? I mean, yes, but I don't know, like something about it feels weird.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
And so now I'm sort of faced with this dilemma of like, what am I going to do with my weekends, I guess. And, you know, I've already thought about it a little bit. And, you know, instead of drinking on the weekends, put more emphasis on going out for a yummy meal and then going to bed maybe a little bit earlier.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
You know, I didn't come on here today and tell you this story with some sort of beautiful conclusion prepared. I'm just sort of sharing this new reality. that is honestly kind of hard for me to swallow. Like, you know, as I'm recording this, is it Friday? It might even be Friday when I'm recording this. It is fucking Friday. Okay. It's fucking Friday.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
But I would say 75% of the time when I drank, I would develop hives. And it was really frustrating for me because I'd be drinking and then all of a sudden my face would start to feel really hot. And if I wasn't wearing makeup, you could very quickly start to see red patches all over my face and on my neck. And my face would swell up a little bit.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
And all I want to do is go out and have a glass of wine and, and I can't, I can't. And I'm fucking sad about it, to be honest. I'm still sad. And, you know, I have a plan. Like, you know, maybe I'll go out to dinner this weekend or maybe I'll go see a movie or, you know, I have lots of amazing people to spend my time with. Like, it's all good. Right. But like, I'm fucking sad.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
So consider this part one of my sort of non-voluntary sobriety journey. I really do think that not drinking will ultimately have a positive effect on my life. I don't really know what that's going to look like yet. I'm excited to share that with you one day and hopefully come to you with inspiring results that will maybe inspire you more.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
to potentially consider the lifestyle yourself, even if your body does not hate alcohol and it's fine with it, but maybe it's the move anyway. I mean, it's definitely the healthiest option. So listen, hopefully I can come to you soon with a more inspiring story. But for right now, I'm just being honest. Like this is a reality that I just found out about myself and I'm feeling a
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
to make the most of the experience. And hey, you know, as tough as it is, I'll tell you, my body is going to be healthy from this. It's going to be healthier from this. And that's at least a good thing. So that's it. That's all I have for today. Just a little update on my alcohol consumption. Can't drink anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
So I'll let you know what kind of boring shit I get into, such as, I don't know, like building things out of Legos or maybe going to like movie streamings in the park. You know how they do that sometimes in like local parks? They'll like play a movie onto like a big projector screen in the park and And there's like a bunch of five-year-olds there. Maybe I'll start getting into that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Or maybe I'll, you know, start getting into like coding or something. Maybe I'll fucking go to college. Maybe I'll go back to college. Definitely won't do that actually. But like maybe, and maybe I'll fucking become a doctor with all this fucking free time I'm gonna have not drinking alcohol and not puffing on my vape anymore. I'm gonna, like, I might become the next fucking Einstein.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
I'll talk to you guys later. I love you all. I appreciate you all. And I can't wait to come back to you in like six months and say sobriety from alcohol is fucking awesome. I know I'll come to you and say that in six months. So that's something to look forward to. But at least I'll have a story to back it up. All right. I love you all. I appreciate you all. Thanks for listening and hanging out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
I'll talk to you guys very soon. New episodes every Thursday and Sunday. Social media and anything goes. find me at Emma Chamberlain and find my coffee company, chamberlaincoffee.com or at Chamberlain Coffee. Love you. Talk to you soon and bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
And not only was it incredibly uncomfortable and hot, like my face just felt hot and swollen, but it looked kind of jarring. Like you'd look at my face and be like, oh, she's definitely not doing well. Like something's going on. And this would happen, you know, after two drinks, right? Yeah. And for a long time, I was perplexed by this because it wasn't happening every single time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
I think if it had been happening every single time I would drink, I would have paid closer attention to it. But at the time, I wasn't in a particularly protective state of mind. Whereas now I'm very protective of myself. When something starts to go wrong or go awry, I immediately am checking in on it. If I feel like something's off in my body, I listen to it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Because I care about my well-being today. But there's been times in the past where I haven't. And in 2021, I wouldn't say I really cared about myself very much. So me getting hives was the least of my worries. I was like, I just want the hives to go away so I can keep having fun and have another tequila soda or have another vodka seltzer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
You know, like that's what my priority was more than anything. I was like, I just want to keep drinking and having fun and escaping. And I want to look cute. And having hives all over your face and getting kind of puffy doesn't look very cute. Even when I was wearing makeup, you could still kind of tell that something was wrong with my face a little bit. But it would eventually pass.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
And yeah, it was very odd. But it wouldn't happen every time. So I was like, it can't be that big of a deal if it's not happening every time I drink. Like it was sort of Russian roulette. I didn't know when it was going to happen. And I think in retrospect, it's bizarre to me that I didn't pay more attention to that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Like when your body has a reaction like that over and over and over again, even if it's not every single time, that's still a sign that something's wrong, right? Something's not right. But because drinking was such a non-negotiable part of my life at that time... Like it was a huge source of entertainment for me. It was how I spent time with those that I spent time with during that time.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
In a lot of ways, I agree with you. However, this is not a choice that I made completely on my own. If it had been a choice that I had made completely on my own, I think I'd feel a little bit more excited about it. I was forced to make this decision, in some ways, against my own will. Let me explain. It all started in 2021. In the midst of COVID, Emma is drinking a lot of alcohol. Okay?
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Like not my family, but, you know, my friends, significant others. Like that was very much the center of what we were all doing together. Again, which is normal, right? Because we're at college age. Partying and drinking is a big part of that, right? So it's not completely out of the ordinary. But again, that was my number one priority was to maintain that. as a part of my routine in life.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
So like to look at alcohol as potentially a problem for me physically, like health wise, it was like, I don't even care. Like it wasn't even something I was giving any attention to because I was like, this is such a big part of my life right now. There's no way I'm gonna stop. It was like weird, but it was all subconscious.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Then around 2023... I stopped drinking vodka and I started drinking tequila. In addition to that, I stopped drinking as much, okay? So my habits around drinking started to shift. I was still drinking relatively frequently, but it wasn't as much of a habit. It wasn't as big of a part of my life. And the rashes sort of stopped. I kind of stopped getting the rash.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
I would get them occasionally, but before it was like frequently, okay? I would get a rash almost every time I'd drink. You know, it was sort of unpredictable, but it was more frequent than it wasn't. When I cut back and started drinking tequila, they pretty much stopped completely. And alcohol slowly exited my life. Like, it wasn't playing as big of a role.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
I wasn't relying on it as much for entertainment anymore. I was starting to realize, hey, you know, I kind of have relied on alcohol to be social for a while now. Maybe I should take off the training wheels and be social without it, like a big girl. And so, yeah, my relationship to alcohol improved and it seemed I wasn't having any adverse reactions to it and it was kind of great.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
And now 2024, where we are today. I mean, we're at the end of 2024 when I'm recording this, but 2024. In the beginning of the year, I was still on my tequila soda grind. Like that's what I was drinking when I was going out, you know? And then as the year progressed, I kind of stopped enjoying drinking hard liquor and I started getting into wine.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
for majority of this year, I was drinking a lot of wine, okay? I became a wine girl. And my desire to feel drunk or buzzed pretty much went out the window. And it was all about the experience of drinking the wine. I like the flavor of wine. I like... the, you know, different types of wine and like being like, oh, I'm gonna order this one. Oh, this one sucks.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
I'm gonna get a different glass next time the waiter comes back. Like I loved the experience of wine and it became more about the experience of like having wine with food, having wine at a wine bar, you know, drinking it slowly, savoring it, not really getting drunk anymore, barely even feeling buzz, but like enjoying the experience. I absolutely fell in love with wine.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Everything about it, the culture around it, the experience of drinking it, the taste of it, the way it pairs with food, the, you know, going into wine shops and picking out bottles of wine, splitting a bottle of wine with somebody. Like I just fell in love with wine. Okay. Like a complete fucking person entering their mid twenties. Okay. Like, like everyone does. I started to love wine and,
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
And I think ultimately it was a really healthy thing for me because it made my relationship with alcohol healthier than it's ever been. It made it about a beautiful experience, not about getting super drunk, not about, you know, using it to help with the nerves. It was more about providing third spaces for me to hang out at like a wine bar.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
It was about having something fun to order with my dinner at a restaurant. it was about the places that wine would take me. Okay. The fun little wine shops in LA that I would find. It was about that. It wasn't about getting drunk, you know? And I, and I really loved that about it. And I was like, wow, this is adulthood. You know, this is maturity. This is beauty.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
This is the beauty of, you know, of wine. I get it now. I'm in. Then there's something about it, like reminds me of coffee too. It's like, There's a ritual to it. It's just, it's just beautiful. Anyway, but this summer during the heat of my wine craze, something kind of odd happened. I was on vacation in the South of France and I was drinking a lot of wine on this trip.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Emma was drinking a lot of alcohol. I wouldn't say I was abusing it by... I mean... I think maybe a little bit, but I wouldn't say any more than the average college student. It's very common for kids, you know, in their early 20s to drink a little bit too much, right? That's not out of the ordinary. Does it make it right? Does it make it healthy? Absolutely not.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Not a lot of wine, but I was like having, you know, a glass of wine in the afternoon and then having another glass of wine at dinner. Like I was having wine. And one of the days on the trip, I have two glasses of wine, white wine, nothing out of the ordinary at all. And I get back to the hotel that night and I'm feeling incredibly nauseous. Okay.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
And I'm confused because I'm like, I had two glasses of wine. Like this is not anything out of the ordinary. You know, what is going on? And I'm in my hotel room and I'm feeling progressively more and more nauseous. But I'm becoming progressively more and more confused because I'm like, I've thrown up from alcohol before. I've drank too much before for sure.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
That is not what's going on here at all. I had two glasses of wine and I ate a lot that day. too. Cause I know, you know, obviously your sensitivity to alcohol goes up when you haven't eaten food. I had eaten so much that day. I had a lot of stuff in my stomach. Okay. So that wasn't a concern. It was not adding up to me why I was experiencing like like horrific nausea after two glasses of wine.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
But yet I knew it felt like alcohol nausea, you know? And so I was like, what? This is so weird. I ended up, sorry if this is TMI, sorry if you get grossed out by this, I did end up throwing up. And when I threw up, it was like, it was not just like a cute little throw up. This is so gross in TMI. I'm so sorry. If this is something that grosses you out, just skip ahead like 20 seconds.
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i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
My body wanted the wine out of my body so badly that like I was really throwing up like projectile. You know what I mean? Like it was like with force, like my body was like, get this shit out. It was like pushing, pushing, you know, like, you know, when you're sick and you're throwing up, it's like hard to throw up kind of. It was like easy. Like my body wanted this out, right? So I threw up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
I felt so much better. I went to sleep that night and I woke up the next day and everything was fine. And I kind of just wrote it off as like a weird one-off sort of thing. I was like, all right, well, that was sort of weird, but whatever. Maybe I had food poisoning or maybe it was from the wine or I'm like, I just didn't know. But it didn't happen again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
And I continued to drink wine and it didn't happen again. So I was like, all right, we're good. Now that was during the summer. Okay. So that was like probably August, like July or August, right? Actually, it was July. That was July. Okay. Fast forward to the last month and a half, two months. Okay. October, November of this year, the same year. The last few times that I've had wine
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
I have gotten horrible nausea, horrible nausea, okay? And it's really weird because I'm not drinking a lot of wine. I'm having a glass or two max over the course of like five, six hours, over the course of like a dinner and then going out for one more glass of wine after, okay? Extreme nausea, like overwhelming. And last weekend, the nausea got so bad
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
that I threw up again after, okay, the night that I threw up, I had one glass of wine with dinner and I ate a lot of dinner. So it was like, it should have been happy in my tummy, right? And then another half glass of wine. So not even a full two glasses. It was a glass and a half projectile vomiting into the toilet. Okay. And I was like, all right, something's going on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
But it's to be expected in a way, right? I was drinking a I mean, when 5 o'clock would hit, I was making a drink. At best. And taking shots at worst. You know, COVID was rough. I think a lot of us were drinking. And so, I was one of them. I was one of them. And I didn't see it as a problem at the time. I saw it as normal. And I still... in a way, see it as normal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
And then I sort of was paying attention to my body. Like, what else am I feeling? My heart was racing. My head was hurting. I was like, something's really wrong. I had a glass and a half of wine. You know, like, what's happening? But then I thought about it, and I was like, the last few times I've drank, I've gotten extreme nausea. Like, something weird's going on. And then it clicked.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Why does my own mother not drink alcohol? Because she has an alcohol intolerance. What is an alcohol intolerance, you may ask? Alcohol intolerance is caused by a genetic condition in which the body can't break down alcohol efficiently. The only way to prevent these uncomfortable reactions is to avoid alcohol. Now, what are the symptoms of alcohol intolerance?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Facial redness, flushing, sound familiar? Red itchy skin bumps, hives, sound familiar. Worsening of pre-existing asthma, I don't have asthma. Runny or stuffy nose, weirdly enough, that has happened to me many, many times after a night of drinking, just having like weirdly bad allergies. Low blood pressure, I'm not sure what that feels like, but I probably have experienced it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Nausea and vomiting, sound familiar. And diarrhea, doesn't sound familiar probably, but not to tell you too much, that has always been a part of the drinking experience for me. Oh, I might be experiencing alcohol intolerance. So I looked into it. And basically, it's interesting because apparently this is caused by inherited genetic traits.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i have alcohol intolerance? storytime
Having hay fever, allergies from the seasons and stuff, which I do have very badly, that is a risk factor. And according to the internet, having a mild intolerance to alcohol or something else and alcoholic beverages might not require a trip to the doctor. Simply just avoid alcohol, limit how much you drink, or avoid certain types of alcoholic beverages. So now I'm faced with a choice.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
A few weeks ago, I discussed with you all how sometimes I can be a little bit of a hater. And luckily, this isn't that big of a deal because 99.9% of the time, I'm hating within the privacy of my own mind. It's not hurting anyone, right? Wrong. It is hurting myself. Because in the moment, being a hater feels so good. It's satisfying. It's addicting. It's exciting. It's exhilarating.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I mean, there are times when it makes sense and it's fun and chic and cool and interesting. But in general, I'm kind of over it for now. But again, I can't say that midriff is... a pet peeve because I actually do like it sometimes, especially when, you know, it's with a very small top that cuts off right beneath the bosom. I hate a crop top.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I don't think I own one crop top anymore, which is unbelievable considering how obsessed with them I was for so long. Okay, next. Improper layering. What I mean by improper layering is wearing like, let's say, a long sleeve shirt with a short sleeve shirt on top of it. Right. For sort of a layered look and not choosing the right pieces for the layering that you want to do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
And I'm virtually a saint now. I have been so loving and kind and nonjudgmental in my mind. It's like I truly feel like borderline religious about it. Like I've really worked on this and I've come a long way. To celebrate today, I am going to hate on things. Yeah, it's been too long. I have been a little bit too nice for a little bit too long. And it's not like I'm hating on people today.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
So like choosing like a loose long sleeve T-shirt and then putting like a tight short sleeve T-shirt over top of it. in a way that looks bunchy and misshapen and lumpy, that's a pet peeve. That's a pet peeve. And listen, I get it. Sometimes you want to layer two things together and you try it and it doesn't work and you're like, well, what the fuck? That was my whole idea. What do I do now?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
t-shirt to try you know I don't have another black long sleeve to try like whatever honestly I get it I get it even though I have collected a lot of basics over the years so that I could have a lot of layering options because that's one of the main ways that I style myself on a personal basis on a day-to-day basis I do a lot of layering and that's how I build unique outfits and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
is through layering. And I get it. Sometimes it's like heartbreaking because you'll try two things together and they don't fit right together. And it sucks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
And even me, somebody who has a lot of great layering pieces, you know, like I have a tight short sleeve white t-shirt and a loose short sleeve white t-shirt because I know that both of those tops will come in handy for layering depending on what's underneath or what's going on top.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Even for me, somebody who has collected a lot of layering pieces, I still sometimes struggle to layer things properly.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Sometimes I'll try something and it's lumpy and it's bumpy and it's creasing and it looks wrong and I have to give up on it and I have to say, you know what, this didn't work and that's something I'm going to have to grapple with and that is something I'm going to have to mourn the loss of. Sometimes, you know, you just have to be honest with yourself. I can't layer these two things together.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Another example would be like, I don't know, if somebody wanted to layer like a pair of jeans with a skirt, kind of early 2000s vibes. That could be totally cute. But if that skirt is too tight or too thin and you can see all the denim like lumps and bumps poking through, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. You know, like not every layering idea is going to work. In fact, layering is challenging.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
It takes a lot of practice and it takes trial and error in your closet. And if it doesn't work, you got to know it's not working and you got to give up on it. And it's a pet peeve when I see, you know, improper layering because I'm like, not only is that probably physically uncomfortable for the person wearing it, but it looks uncomfortable. I look at it and it looks wrong, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
All right, moving on. Literally anything cinched at the ankles. Okay. I mean, obviously like any sort of jogger kind of pant. No, that's tough for me. Even sweatpants that have like a cuff, you know, cinch at the ankle. No, I really don't believe there's ever a time where having something cinched at the ankle is a good idea.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Now, listen, I used to wear cinched at the ankle sweatpants all the time. One of the first like red carpet looks, it wasn't even a red carpet, it was for the Streamy Awards event. Every time I bring up the Streamy Awards, I'm traumatized from my horribly cringed speech that I get reminded of at least once a month against my will.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I wore like a weird pair of like plaid pants that were sort of cinched at the ankle and Like they kind of tapered down at the ankle. Oh my God, they were hideous. Anything tapered at the ankle, anything cinched at the ankle, I can't stand it. I personally can't stand it. But even like a sweat pant. And majority of sweat pants on the market are cinched at the ankle, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
That's the most common ankle cuff that you see out there. I think it's horrible. I think it's horrible. I think it's horrible. I think it's unflattering. I think everything looks better straight leg. And have no fear, okay? If you have some pants or sweatpants in your closet right now and they're cinched at the bottom, don't donate them. Cut the cinch off. And then guess what you have?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
You have a beautiful straight leg. If you have a tapered pant... It's a bit harder to fix. You could bring a bit of a fun fabric to the tailor and say, hey, can you make these a straight leg? And then they'll open up the seam on the side and add fabric to make it a straight leg. You could upcycle these things, okay? So don't give up. If you're realizing, wait, Emma's right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Straight leg is better. There's options. But there's also the decision to never buy something cinched at the ankle ever again. I cannot handle it. A straight leg always looks better in the same way that like a crop top sort of cuts off the torso. and prevents the elongation of the torso, like a classic long shirt that cuts off at the hip, you know, sort of elongates the torso.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I'm hating on fashion. Like, who fucking cares? No one's getting hurt. This is harmless. Today, I'm going to be sharing with you my fashion pet peeves. And to me... This is fair game. Listen, I am going to be a hater in this episode. But it's like, sometimes it's nice to allow yourself to indulge every once in a while. And I've been so good the last few weeks. I haven't been a hater at all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
The crop cuts it halfway and sort of shortens the torso, right? It's the same thing, in my opinion, with a pant that cuffs at the bottom or tapers at the bottom. That break at the bottom, well, it's not even a break, but that point at the ankle where it gets small, it cuts off the elongation, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
When you're wearing a straight leg pant or a uniform width pant where it's the same width all the way down, it makes the leg look like this one long, beautiful sort of leg. But when it's cuffed at the ankle, it cuts it off at the ankle, right? You know what I mean? It doesn't cut off at the floor.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Like when you're wearing like a straight leg pair, it cuts off at the floor and you have all that leg. It just looks better on absolutely everyone. This looks better on everyone. You know what I mean? It's just better. Sorry, that's my opinion. Moving on, logo belt. Every designer makes a logo belt. You know what I'm talking about?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
The Gucci belt with the two Gs, the Louis Vuitton belt with the LV on the front, you know, big LV. I don't know, every brand has their big belt with the big logo on it. I actually wore one like within the last year to Fashion Week because I did go to a Gucci show and one of the looks that I really liked did actually have a big logo belt
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
And I will say, I was like, you know, like, this is kind of a pet peeve of mine, but it's kind of fun to try. Like, let me try it, you know? And it was all right. But ultimately, I don't like the logo belt. I really, really do not like it. I think it's completely unnecessary. I think it's distracting. I think it's flashy. I think it's... I'm not into it. I'm not into it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I think it's, to me, it's cringe. And listen, I've worn my fair share of logo belts. Okay. You can find photos of me online wearing a logo belt within even the last year. Okay. But they are ultimately a pet peeve for me. And they're like, it is kind of like early 2000s, like maximalism, like flexing, like, just like, fuck it. Like, max designer, like whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
And it can be almost sort of campy in that way. And that's what I was trying to tap into when I wore the logo belt somewhat recently within the last year. But it didn't end up reading that way. Like I didn't feel like it was fully as campy as I wanted it to be. And it just kind of ended up being like not my favorite thing. It's just not my style. I just don't like it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
And when I see it out, I'm like, you know what? This outfit that this person is wearing would look so much better with just like a simple, chic, classic belt. Or even like something weird, like a weird, cool design that's like something I haven't seen a lot or something like that. Anything would be better. Next, white sunglasses. I've never seen a white pair of sunglasses look good, ever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I don't like them. There's something about the white sunglass that is not chic to me, like when it's like white plastic around the side and then like a black lens or like whatever, any colored lens. Just like white sunglasses, it's just ugly to me. It doesn't look elevated. It doesn't look chic. There's just something about the white sunglass that's goofy to me. I don't know why.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
It just doesn't look good. It's again, one of those things where it's like, anytime I see someone wearing a white pair of sunglasses, like white plastic, white acrylic or whatever, I'm like, this person would look better in any other pair of sunglasses, in my opinion. They're just sort of like the worst option. And I have probably owned a pair of white sunglasses before. I can't remember.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
They were never in my rotation, if so, but I probably have experimented with a white sunglass, but never again. Never again. Now they're sort of a pet peeve. Like, you know, when I'm sunglass shopping and I see a pair of white sunglasses, I'm like, why are we selling these? We need to go back to the drawing board. I mean, I rarely make like a blanket statement like this color is bad on everyone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Right. Like, I don't think I can say that about anything else. White sunglasses. I am confident that that is always a mistake. I don't like the color purple. I really don't like it. Okay. In fact, it's my least favorite color and I avoid wearing it and I don't really like it. There's like a few shades of purple that I quite like.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Super dark purpley maroon I like, you know, maybe like a kind of grayish cool toned eggplant sort of purple. Love that. But for the most part, I hate purple. Like majority of shades of purple I don't like. Again, though, like I just mentioned a few shades of purple that I enjoy, and I also have seen purple look absolutely beautiful on many people. So I can't say that it's like all bad.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I need to be a hater. I need to get it out in a safe environment with you all about something. inconsequential so that I can continue on my journey to being a lover and not a hater.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Like I can't even say that like a, you know, purple piece of clothing is a pet peeve to me because that's not true. Like there are too many occasions when it works on other people or it even sometimes rarely, but sometimes works on me, you know, if it's the right shade of purple. So I don't know. I can't say that it's a pet peeve. White sunglasses are a pet peeve because they're always a bad idea.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
They're always the worst option. Moving on. This one is going to be a little bit controversial because this was really trendy recently and I'm about to shit on it. Folding over the top of pants. Okay. I'll explain this to you if you haven't seen it. It became sort of a trend to like take jeans or work pants like Dickies or basically any sort of loose oversized pant and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
and basically fold over the top, okay? On pants, right, there's that sort of one to two inch sort of seam, not even seam, but like, I don't know, like strip of fabric that goes around the waist, you know, where like the button fastens and stuff like that. Folding that over, okay? This became a total trend. Everybody was doing it, all the cool girls. All the cool girls, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I never hopped onto this trend because it was always a little bit goofy to me. I'm going to be honest. Again, I think it doesn't look good. It doesn't look good to me. It looks kind of sloppy to me. And listen, I'm not trying to be like the chic police, right? like shitting on casual clothing or whatever. There's just something about it that feels unnecessary.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Again, in my opinion, pants always look better when they're worn normally. Like pants always look worse when the top is folded over. I've never in my life seen someone wearing their pants with the top folded over and thought to myself, wow, their pants look better because they folded over the top. I've never thought that in my life because it's not true.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
You know, there's actually so much beauty in the way that pants are constructed. The fly is a certain length so that the sort of crotch of the pants hits a certain point on your crotch or on your leg. The seams that are supposed to be exposed on the front... of a pair of pants are so beautifully done, so cleanly done.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Anyway, without further ado, today I'm going to be sharing with you my fashion pet peeves and I am going to be tearing into them and hating on them in a way that will honestly probably change your opinion on me because when I go on a rant about something that I don't like, especially fashion for some reason, I really get passionate and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Then when you start flipping over the top, now it's like, okay, there's like tags coming out and like unfinished seams that weren't supposed to be seen and like it just looks bad. And also the pant usually doesn't fit properly, right? Because if you can flip over the top of your pants, it means that the pants are definitely oversized, okay? which is a look, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
And I actually don't mind like an oversized baggy pant. I'm into it. But if you fold it over, sometimes it'll like make the back all bunchy or like the crotch is like riding up a little bit too much or like, you know, you have a little camel toe because you're like folding over the top. It's like nothing's fitting right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Now you have a pair of pants that's not just baggy, but also somehow like riding up in the crotch and like is bunchy in the butt and nothing looks good. It just, it's to me, I don't understand it. At all. I think it particularly like bugs me when like you can see tags, you know, like you can see tags in the pants. or like logos or something that's like on the inner waistband.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
That really bothers me. It bothers me because I'm like, for fuck's sake, it's like when you see someone with like a pimple just ready to burst and you just want to pop it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
When I see somebody with their pants folded over and you can see all these tags popping out and like it's fucking riding up their crotch and it's just, it's like, oh my God, I just want to fold your pants back to the correct position. It's like wanting to pop a pimple. I just want to go over and fix it. It's irritating. It like gets on my nerves. Moving on. I'm getting kind of passionate.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I'm so sorry. Okay, moving on. This is really niche and specific. So I'm going to ask you to close your eyes unless you're driving because that would be not good. Don't do that. Close your eyes if you can. If not, just really daydream hard for me here. Okay. Let's imagine a strappy little shoe, like a strappy little Mary Jane, perhaps, or like a little ballet flat that has some straps on the top.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
A little strappy closed toe flat shoe. Again, could be a Mary Jane, could be you know, sort of a variation of a Mary Jane with a few straps on the top. Imagine a shoe like this. Now, go ahead and imagine that shoe for me with no socks. Now, to some of you, this is totally fine. This is cute. This is feminine and dainty and cute. To me, it's absolutely not okay. I cannot stand it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
A little strappy shoe with no socks, to me, it's a pet peeve. I don't know why. I don't know why. To me, it looks bad. And it's weird because this is very specific. Like instead of just saying, oh, just all flat shoes, like ballet flats, Mary Janes, any sort of variation of a ballet flat or Mary Jane has to be worn with socks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
But I can't say that because I actually do think sometimes it is cute to wear a ballet flat, like a very simple ballet flat, no straps, no nothing, just very sleek ballet flat. with no socks. Sometimes that works. It often doesn't, but because it does sometimes work, I can't lump it into this pet peeve. You know what I'm realizing?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
And I don't know, to some it may be disturbing, but you should brace yourself because I'm not gonna hold back. I'm gonna be mean, I'm gonna be honest, and I'm gonna be hateful about these fashion pet peeves because this is just what I'm being called to do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
A lot of these pet peeves are things that look awkward and look unflattering on everyone. And this is just another one of those things. And it actually comes down to the elongation of the leg again. Like the straps on the top of the foot cut off the No, but then if you're wearing a sock, that also kind of cuts off. I don't know. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
It's just there's something about it that looks awkward to me without fail every single time I see it. All you need is a little scrunchie sock. That's it. A little scrunchie sock and everything's going to be okay. Or like a little knee-high sock that's like, you know, got a bit of thickness to it. Got a bit of girth. And you're good. It's cute. There's just something about that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I guess it could be fine if you were wearing like long pants. If you're wearing long pants and you were wearing a strappy little flat with no socks, eh, that's kind of fine. But like a skirt or a dress or anything like that where you can like see the ankle, oh my God, no. I can't handle it and I don't know why. Which leads me to another niche sort of fashion pet peeve.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Tights worn with loafers, okay? Like, so imagine, you know, somebody's wearing like a skirt or a dress and they're wearing tights underneath and then they're just wearing a loafer. Absolutely not. You can wear tights in a loafer, but you need to be wearing a sock over the tights. Otherwise, it's like, okay, you got this knobby little ankle.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
You got this like little ankle, this awkward little thin little ankle next to this bulky shoe, a loafer. It looks ridiculous to me. And it looks completely imbalanced without fail every single time. It never looks good. I don't know where these pet peeves came from because these are such random styling choices that it's not like I see these things all the time, but I've seen them enough.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
that I know that they're a pet peeve. It's so random. I actually have another one that relates to shoes and socks and things. I am so sorry. If you are wearing a sneaker, you need to be wearing a visible sock that at the lowest hits your ankle bone. At the lowest, okay? Wearing no socks with a sneaker, wearing invisible socks that are hidden inside the shoe with a sneaker, unacceptable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
So listen, if you've worn these things before, if you like these things, let my criticism of them further solidify your love for them because if you love them, still, after I absolutely shit on them, then that means that what I just shit on is truly your style, is truly your taste. And that's a beautiful thing. So like, don't look at me as the enemy. Okay. Don't take this stuff as an insult.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. An ankle boot is already like tough to see.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
This is just my opinion. Okay. I invite you to be brave and to not get your feelings hurt and to remember that this is just my opinion. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Westin Hotels and Resorts. Westin Hotels is designed with your wellbeing in mind.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
It feels so good. But long term, it has negative consequences, okay? It negatively impacts my self-esteem. It negatively impacts the way I see the world. Long term, it's bad news, right? And I know being a hater is wrong. But it's something that I'm prone to doing for whatever reason. I've always liked it. I've always liked, I don't know, like just picking on things.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
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my fashion pet peeves
Whether you're dealing with jet lag or not having slept on a flight, it can ruin a trip. Find wellness at Westin, one of the 30 extraordinary hotel brands in the Marriott Bonvoy portfolio. Now back to the episode. Okay, let's begin. My first pet peeve, denims that don't match in the same outfit, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Like I already have a problem with them, but I actually have a pair of ankle boots, a pair of black ankle boots that I absolutely love because they're comfortable. They don't have, you know, excess fabric going all the way up the leg or I guess leather. They don't have excess leather going all the way up the leg underneath, say like a long pant, which is more comfortable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
They're great for wearing with long pants or like, you know, a long skirt. Anytime I want to wear something long and I don't want to wear like a knee high boot or even like a mid calf boot, Because that's too much material. I want it to be more comfortable and cut off at the ankle and the ankle won't be shown. I wear the ankle boot and it's great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I would never wear those boots with something that would reveal the ankle, though, because that is not cute to me. Like no one should be able to tell that they're an ankle boot. To me, ankle boots were created so that people just wouldn't have to wear like a knee-high boot under a long pair of pants. Like that is their purpose to me. A knee-high boot, so cute.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
You know, you can show off the whole damn boot if you want. Even a mid-calf boot, cute. There are ways to style that where it makes sense. You know what I mean? An ankle boot? Oh my God, no. You gotta hide that ankle, okay? Because it is not cute. Next, on the nose retro, like borderline costume. Like when somebody's wearing like a neon 80s windbreaker,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
And like, I don't know, some like tennis shoes and like it just like looks like an 80s character from an 80s stereotype movie, you know, or like when somebody is full on like 90s, like wearing like the geometric 90s prints and like wearing like again, like the the acid wash jeans. And it's like, oh, God. Listen, I used to do this when I was younger.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
When I was like a teenager, I absolutely loved this. I like loved dressing like a decade on the nose, borderline costume. I thought it was so fun. And I loved like the vintage retro vibe on the nose. Now I absolutely hate it. And I think it's so, again, it's not chic. It's not chic. I just think it's, it's weird. I don't know. I don't like it. I don't like it anymore. And I used to wear it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
like fully like 90s cosplaying. It's very cringe to me now, but you know, what can you do? Okay. Moving on to something that's going to be controversial. Okay. It's become really trendy to either wear a New York Yankees hat, which basically just has NY on it, or a Dodgers hat with the LA on it. Okay. Like baseball hats, right? Specifically for LA and New York. These have become a pet peeve for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
especially if you're not a fan, which most people wearing these hats are not at this point because it's become such a trend that like I had a fucking New York Yankees hat and I don't even live in New York and I also don't know anything about the Yankees. I just bought the hat cause I found it at a thrift store and I was like, Oh my God, this is so trendy right now. And like, it's kind of cute.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
And like, I want to wear it, but I don't know. It just, it's like starting to like lose its meaning. Like now it's just like, it's so much cooler to like find like some sort of weird random, uh, kind of personal baseball cap and wear that. I don't know. Go to your favorite coffee shop and see if they have merch and wear that baseball cap. You know what I mean? Or order one vintage online.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Go on eBay and find a weird baseball cap. You know what I'm saying? Do that. Don't... I don't know. Unless you like the baseball team, unless you're obsessed with the Dodgers, unless you're obsessed with the Yankees, you don't need to wear the hats. This is my opinion. This next one is sort of niche.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
It's like, I really only see this with people who are really into fashion, like love studying the runway, like love the, you know, all the different designers are like keeping up with what the brands are doing and stuff who are like into fashion. Massive shoes. Huge, huge, huge shoes. There are many different brands that do this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
If you're wearing jeans and a jean jacket and those denims are not exactly the same, I am so sorry. Those are not two pieces that should ever be worn together. Take it off. Take it off, okay? It's one of those subtle differences that it isn't always noticeable, right? Like if it's dim in the room, you can't even see it, you know? But to me, it just, it like grates on my nerves.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
And majority of them are like more kind of like grungy, darker, more like... like black leather, like dark colors, more edgy, just more edgy. And when I talk about like big shoes, I'm talking about like just like an absolutely massive like sneaker that's like huge, like triple the size of a normal sneaker. Okay. If you've never seen these, it probably sounds ridiculous, but they're out there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Or like... you know, a really massive boot. Okay. Like a boot that like has huge sole and like a, and is like a huge heel and is like super platform and like is really big and just like a big, I don't know, just like abnormally large shoes or even like shoes that like have like a really long point.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
that goes out in the front or like a really like large square toe or something there are a bunch of different versions of this all of which fall under the category for me of pet peeve i i think the foot being really large doesn't ever look good it always looks awkward
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
It either makes you look bottom heavy or it makes you look like you're a fucking penguin flapping your little feet around because your feet are so long or wide or big. Or it makes you look like a cartoon character because your feet look massive and your body looks super small. It's just weird and I don't like it. Okay, moving on. Oh wait, this is the last one. Last but not least.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
There's this certain length of skirt, approximately mid thigh, where it's not quite a mini skirt, but it's also not quite a knee length skirt. It's like somewhere in between. This length of skirt to me is absolutely horrible. I hate it. I think you got to commit to one or the other. You either got to do a knee length skirt or a mini skirt. No in between.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Anything in between looks awkward, looks unintentional. It looks either like a knee length skirt that's like a little bit too short or like a mini skirt that's a little bit too long. It never looks right. It always looks unintentional. It looks like a mistake. You know, it looks like you bought a skirt that doesn't fit you properly. That's all I have to say. That was really fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I really enjoyed that. See, I can be a hater. You know, I can. It's in me. You just saw a little glimpse of it. It's a little scary, isn't it? Now I have to go back to being nice again, okay? Because I had my little moment of being rude and being a hater, and now I have to go back to being an absolute ray of sunshine. But getting that out felt really good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
And I'm glad that you were here to experience it with me because it was really fun for me. That's all I have for today. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. If you enjoyed it, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Watch on YouTube and Spotify. Listen anywhere you stream podcasts. Find the podcast on social media at Anything Goes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Find me on social media at Emma Chamberlain and find my coffee company in a plethora of places, okay? At Chamberlain Coffee on social media, in the Century City Mall in Los Angeles, in a store near you. If you want to see if we're in a store near you, go to the store locator on chamberlaincoffee.com. And that's it. That's it. That's all I have to say today. I'm done yapping. I'm done yelling.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I need to go take a breather and, um, start getting back on track because I really let loose there and really let myself hate. And now I need to learn to love again. So I'm going to go ahead and do that. But I love you all. And I appreciate you all. And it's always a pleasure to hang out. And I hope to talk to you soon. Also, let me know your fashion pet peeves.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
You can, I don't know, let me know somewhere on the internet. There's ways to reach me at anything goes and I'm in Chamberlain. Let me know. Let me know your fashion pet peeves. I'm so curious. Okay, that's all. Bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Like when I see an outfit with two different denims and they're like maybe a little bit similar, but they're like, I cannot handle it. It's, to me, it's like nails on a chalkboard. I don't know why, it just really bothers me. I mean, I'm somebody who honestly, at this point in my life, doesn't buy a lot of denim outside of jeans for this reason.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Because I know that unless I'm buying like a full set where I know for a fact the denims match, I'm not going to be able to style multiple denim pieces together because it's going to drive me crazy. It's going to drive me crazy. It's something that I cannot handle.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I will say if someone's wearing like raw, super dark, dark denim jeans and like maybe a super light denim like jacket, maybe that could work because they're so different that I don't know. It's not clashing because it's so different that it's actually fine and balanced. But even that I'm not fully sold on. I just don't think mixing denim washes is okay. I just don't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
And it's funny because I was at a clothing store recently. And I was just walking around. I wasn't looking for anything in particular. But I said something about... Oh, I tried on a jacket, right? And it was actually sort of a denim jacket. Not like a classic denim jacket, but like a very unique sort of denim jacket. And I absolutely loved it. I loved this jacket. And...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I was talking to the person that I was shopping with. I was like, I absolutely love this jacket. The denim is so beautiful. The buttons on it are so beautiful. The shape of it is so beautiful. The fit is beautiful. Everything about it is so beautiful. But I don't think I can justify buying it because I'm afraid that I won't wear it enough.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Because it's denim and it won't match with any other denim. Like, I won't be able to handle it. And one of the women working there overheard me and was like, denim's a neutral. You can mix and match as much as you want. And I was like, in my head, I was... Well, actually, to her, I was like, you know what? You're so right. But in my head, I was like, she's so wrong. I couldn't disagree more.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I can't handle mixing and matching denims. They all need to either be the exact same shade or so different that, you know, it's... Complete contrast. That leads me to my next pet peeve, which is when I'm putting together an all black outfit and the shades of black don't match. Like my jeans are super dark, dark, dark black, right? But then my top is a bit lighter, maybe even a bit like warm toned.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I've also always loved picking on myself, but that's a topic for another day. It's like ingrained in me for whatever reason, but I know it's wrong. And so whenever I find myself in sort of a pattern of hating, I catch myself and I say, okay, we got to stop this. We got to stop this in its tracks. Even though, you know, we can't stop it permanently, right? Like, this is something I'm prone to.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
And so they almost clash. And then I'm wearing like a black cardigan over that. And that is like a medium black that's like a bit cool tone. And so there's like nine different blacks happening. And it's just a catastrophe. And it looks off. Or this could also happen with like gray. Like let's say you want to wear like gray sweatpants and a gray sweatshirt.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
But the gray sweatpants and the gray sweatshirt aren't from the same place. Like, you didn't buy them from the same store or from the same brand. And so the grays are different. Like, one is, like, a super light heather gray, and then the other one is, like, a medium dark, even more heathered gray. And they're almost similar, and they almost match, but not quite... I absolutely hate that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Like, I really do wish that there was like a mandatory Pantone that every brand had to stick to when it came to certain neutral colors. Like, you know, if you want to do a light gray, it has to be this exact one so that everything light gray from every single store ever matches. Same thing with like black, you know, like every single brand has to use the same.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
But see, the thing that's hard about that is like there's sometimes like a vintage wash on something that's black. And so it's a bit lighter. Oh, my God. It's a nightmare. Like I have these incredible gray sweatpants that I love to wear. And I have this incredible gray, like zip up sort of puffer, soft, cozy, like pajama coat. Who knew that that existed?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
But it's like a soft, like I would never wear it out. It's like something I wear around the house because it's so soft and like cozy and it's like pajamas for me. Anyway, it's a coat. And even when I'm at home alone, I'm bothered when I wear those two things together because they are slightly different grays and it just absolutely drives me nuts. Okay, moving on to cat eye glasses. I'm so sorry.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
These shouldn't exist. They don't look good on anyone. I've never in my life seen cat eye glasses look good on anyone. The only maybe exception is is, like, a super retro, like, pair of, like, cute little red cat eye reading glasses on, like, a super cool old lady or something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Like, that actually sounds sick, and I have seen that, but I'm going to go ahead and say 99.9% of the time cat eye glasses are hideous. Any pair of glasses that just points up at the end, it looks bad. It looks bad. And I know what you're thinking, Emma, no one really wears those anymore. Not true, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
This is a silhouette of glass that I see almost every season when I'm stalking what's on the runway. You know, every time I'm in a sunglass store, I see a cat eye frame. Like, they're definitely not super popular. They're definitely not a trend. But they still exist. And I absolutely hate them. They are ugly. And they aren't ever, like, cool. I've worn cat eye sort of sunglasses before.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I remember one time where I was going to a fashion show and the brand was like, hey, we'd love if you wore these sunglasses. And they were a little bit cat eye and I was like, I don't like cat eye, but it was kind of the only sunglass option that they had and they really wanted me to wear them. And I was like, you know what?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I'll, you know, be a good partner with this brand and wear these glasses that they want to showcase. And I remember feeling so not cool in them. I just felt not cool. I felt cringe. I don't know. I just, I felt like, I guess they're just, they're really not me and they're really not my style. But see, I look at them on everyone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Anytime I see them on anyone, I'm like, this person would look better if they were wearing any other shape of glass. any other shape of glass, like any other frame would suit them better. It's like how some people feel like everyone looks better without bangs. Some people truly believe that bangs will ruin anyone and everyone's face.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
You could be a 10 out of 10, the hottest, hottest supermodel on the planet, and you'll still look better without bangs. Like some people think that. I disagree. I personally love bangs. And I think a lot of people even look better with bangs. So I don't agree with that, but I've heard that sentiment my entire life. And that's how I feel about cat eyeglasses.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
You will always look better in a different frame. It is always the worst option. I'm sorry. This is just how I feel. Okay, moving on. I am really bothered by crop tops, which is unbelievable because when I was younger, I loved a crop top. In fact, if I bought a top and it wasn't cropped, I would crop it myself. I loved a crop top, okay? I thought it was the most flattering.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
It'll probably come back at some point. The best that I can do is stop it for now. And so a few weeks ago, I had found myself in a pattern of hating. I had become a hater again. And I made the decision to work on it and to stop being a hater. And I'm happy to report to you all that the last few weeks have been miraculous. And I have eradicated all of the hatred in my body.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
I thought it was the most fashionable. I really just thought the crop top was the vibe. Not anymore. Now, I love a full length top. Like, I remember thinking when I was a teenager, why do they even still sell normal length tops? Like, who's wearing that? Like, it's too long, you know? But that was also, again, that was the era of like the high-waisted pant era.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
And the crop top, like that was very much the trend of the time. So a long top didn't really make sense at that time because, you know, wearing a long, normal length top with high-waisted pants, it's like, it's a lot of fabric overlapping. It's not ideal, right? But that trend of like high-waisted pant crop top, it was simply a trend. Looking back, that was not timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
And now I can't stand a crop top. Anything cropped, I don't like. And when I say cropped, I mean something that cuts off between like the upper belly button and like, I don't know, maybe like the mid rib cage cuts off around the waist. I can't stand it. And honestly, there's something about it that feels juvenile to me anytime anything is cropped. It just it feels juvenile.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
It it doesn't feel chic. You know, I just I don't like it. The only sort of cropped top that I do like is when something is fully cropped, like right under the boob. OK, if something's cut right under the boob, it's almost bra like that is fine for whatever reason that doesn't bother me. That is a timeless crop. It is very revealing. It does show a lot of midriff, but it's classy. It's classic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
There's something about it that I like. It's like, I don't know. It just, it looks good. But like a crop mid-waist, it just, to me, it always looks a bit juvenile. I don't know, it feels immature. It feels kind of messy. I feel like it is unflattering. I don't know. Unflattering in the way that like, it doesn't elongate the center of the body, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Like when you cut off at the waist with your top, it sort of shortens the abdomen, right? The torso looks elongated in a way that's very flattering in a top that goes all the way down to the hip bone. It also looks elongated when you're wearing a very, very small top that cuts off right below the The breast, right? I don't know. It elongates the torso.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my fashion pet peeves
Whereas when you're wearing a shirt that crops at the waist, it sort of cuts your torso in half. So it doesn't elongate. It doesn't make things. I don't know. It just isn't as flattering to me. And it feels very... I don't know. It feels kind of choogy to me. I'm also kind of over midriff in general, like showing the tummy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I discuss my morals and values frequently. Anyone who knows me, anyone who talks to me, knows how important my morals and values are to me. On the top of my list of priorities are following and abiding by my morals and values, but also constantly working on and strengthening my morals and values. This is a key characteristic of me. which is why it's hilarious how bad I am at it sometimes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
When you see a beloved friend whom you haven't seen in a while has lost a few pounds, you A, instantly start feeling like you need to lose as well in order to keep up. B, tell her she's lost too much weight. Or C, compliment her on how great she looks. Okay, well, I would do none of these things. Actually, no, I actually would probably. Can I be honest? I'm going to be so honest with you all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I would probably look at her and be like, fuck, I'm jealous. Like, I want to do that. That is absolutely how my brain works. That's actually a great example of how I'm sort of, that's not really, I guess, me being a hater, but me just being toxic, okay? So I actually would do that. So I'm actually going to choose that because I would never tell her that she lost too much.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
And I would actually probably not even compliment her on how great she looks. I would clock it. And I would, if anything, compliment her on somebody else, because I know how it can be a bit iffy to comment on somebody's weight, even if they look incredible. It's just fucking it's a mess.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Like when I've lost a bit of weight, whether it's genuinely healthy and it's just because I've been exercising more, moving more or just, you know, maybe eating more nutritionally, less processed foods, whatever. Or it's because I'm having some sort of psychological issue. Yeah. If somebody comments on it, it always fucks with me. So I really try to not do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I'm going to answer that I'd instantly start feeling like I need to lose weight as well in order to keep up because to be honest, that is kind of my vibe sometimes. And especially recently, as I've been sort of toxic and a hater, that unfortunately checks out. So we're going to click that. Moving on to the next. You run into your ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend while at Starbucks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
What is your reaction when she approaches and says hi? A, begin looking at her flaws and wonder why he's with her and not you. B, tell her that her boyfriend wasn't man enough for you. Or C, you're cordial to her and say hi. Well, I would definitely say hi. So I'm going to select that one. But I definitely would probably psychoanalyze her, critically analyze her, and compare myself to her 1,000%.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Because again, that's inevitable. I don't even know if I could avoid that. That's It's a little bit toxic, but I definitely would do that. But because I would be cordial and say hi, I'm going to choose the healthier option. Yeah, I'm going to be cordial and say hi. Okay, next. What is your reaction when you find out that the promotion you wanted goes to a coworker you believe doesn't deserve it?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
A, start crafting a plan that will show your boss that you should have gotten the promotion. B, tell your boss every misstep that your coworker makes or complain that you were the one that deserved the promotion. Or three, congratulate him or her on getting the promotion. I would absolutely, absolutely be livid. I would probably fixate on it and allow it to torture me for the next few months.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
But I can guarantee that I would not ever bring it up. I mean, I am my own boss. So, you know, it's hard to say. what I would do in that situation. But I, knowing myself enough, would assume that I wouldn't ever bring it to my boss. And I would just congratulate them on getting the promotion.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I mean, I guess there's a chance that I might craft a plan to show my boss that I should have gotten the promotion by sort of overachieving. That's actually something I might do. But it would be less about trying to take the other person down. And I think it actually would be more about just trying to get a promotion. Although maybe it would be about bringing the other person down a little bit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I don't know. That's possible. I'm going to say that I'd congratulate him or her on getting the promotion, but there is a chance that I might craft a plan to show my boss that I should have gotten the promotion, but in a way where it's never confrontational. I would never say that out loud. Anyway. Okay. Next.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
It is in my list of morals and values to not be a hater. I think that's on most people's lists. of morals and values. However, for some of us, it's incredibly challenging not to be a hater. Now, when I say I'm a hater, I'm a closeted hater. Like, no one knows how much of a hater I am. In fact, majority of the hating goes on in the privacy of my own mind. No one even knows it's happening, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
You've been meaning to finally write a book about your wonderful idea, but you've never found the time. You venture to the bookstore and see somebody has written a book on your exact idea. How do you react? A, begin thinking that there's not a chance for you to create the book of your dreams. B, write a letter to the author threatening to sue them for stealing your idea.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
And if the author doesn't respond, you begin emailing the publisher. And C, begin thinking there must be a market for your dream book and head home so you can start writing. Well, I mean, if there's genuinely a chance that somebody stole my idea, like if that author is somebody that I know and they stole the idea, fuck yeah, I'm threatening to sue them. Why not? That's fucked up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I'm not afraid of legal action. I avoid it as we all do. But if somebody steals something blatantly, like, by the way, if I steal something even on accident or something that I create is, you know, too close to their thing, maybe I reference something in my what I created was too close to theirs. They should send a cease and desist. They absolutely should.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Tell me that that's something that you're uncomfortable with.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
include the law to scare me not that I need to be scared because if somebody tells me that you know they're not cool with something I'm like no worries let's sort it out but you know not everybody is like that some people need the law to be involved to be scared like I I get it okay if I do something wrong if I overstep send me a cease and desist let's fucking figure this out you know what I mean
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
But it sounds like in this scenario, that is not the case. It's a coincidence. It's just an unfortunate coincidence. I'd love to say that I'd begin thinking that there must be a market for my dream book and I head home to start writing. I don't think that that is the case. I think that I would start to think that there's not a chance for me to create the book of my dreams. It already exists.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
And so I think that I'd probably experience a few months of discouragement. And I think I would eventually... Is discouragement a word? Googling it. It is. Holy shit. I'm a fucking genius sometimes. Anyway, I think I would experience a few months of discouragement. Emma's new word. And eventually I'd get over it and I would feel better again. But for a long time, I would lose hope.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
So that is how I'm going to answer. Okay, last question. You see a drop dead gorgeous man holding the door open for you. Once inside, his face lights up as a not so put together woman approaches him. He leans over, kisses her and grabs her hand and ecstatically takes her to their destination. What's your reaction? Think to myself, why did he choose her? What does she have that I don't?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Or tell your girlfriends that all the fine men want an ugly woman because she will cater to their every need. Or say, aw, how cute. I do think that the human reaction when seeing a couple that like doesn't make logical sense is together. You're like, what the fuck? Like, I do think that that's sort of normal. In fact, people have probably thought that about me with guys that I've dated.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
You know what I'm saying? There's been times where I've been like, I look so bad right now. And the guy I'm dating looks hot. But also like, even now, like I cut my hair really short. And like, I don't know. Sometimes I'm like, oh God, people probably look at, me and, you know, said boyfriend and are like, oh, something's off there. You know, what does she have? I don't know what I have, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Maybe fun personality. Maybe I'm just fun to hang out with, okay? And that's enough. No, but, you know, it's human. Like, I think people probably think that about me. I think that about other people sometimes. I think that that's totally normal. So there is a good chance that I would think to myself, well, why did he choose her?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
You know, like, what does she have that... Maybe less, what does she have that I don't, but more like, I wonder what it is, you know? I definitely don't think I would tell all my friends that all fine men want an ugly woman because I just don't think that that's true.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
And also, I think, again, like, calling somebody an ugly woman, I mean, even in my meanest... I'm never... I never am mean in that way. I'm never a hater in that way. I'm never, like... I rarely, even in my head, even in the confines of my mind, am calling somebody ugly because I... I actually genuinely don't really feel that way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I mean, there's people that I'm not attracted to and then there's people I am attracted to, but that's different. Like thinking somebody's ugly, that very rarely comes up for me. So yeah, I'm not probably saying that Would I say, oh, how cute? Actually, yes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I think there's something even comforting for me about seeing like a really, really attractive man with maybe like a more sort of normal, like maybe average looking woman. Like that makes me feel good in some ways. I like actually look at that at times and I'm like, that makes me feel better. Like I don't need to be... It's not about that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
It just proves that love and romance is not just about appearance. And so there's something kind of beautiful about that. So I do think I would say, oh, how cute. But I also do think I'd think, oh, why did he choose her? But because I'm going to say, oh, how cute, because I actually don't think, yeah, I don't think I'm that toxic about that. Okay, so it said... You're a winner and an encourager.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
If others are making progress and having great success, you don't feel belittled. You feel empowered. I don't know about that, but on the outside, I maybe show people that that's the case. You understand that what's possible for others is also possible for you and vice versa. Keep this energy going. You're a star. Wow, thank you. Oh my God, that's very nice.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
But I know it's happening. And I think being somewhat of a hater is inevitable. You know, like there are moments when you're going to dislike someone, something, and you're going to have those feelings towards it. And it just is what it is. But I have a tendency to like become a chronic hater again. Not necessarily on the outside, like I'm actually pretty proud of my character on the outside.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Continue being a positive example to the people in your life. Okay, I totally get it. I was taking these quizzes to like almost make me feel worse about myself. Like I was kind of hoping like, Oh, you know, I'll take these quizzes and find out that I'm a fucking asshole and it'll make me more inspired to stop being a hater.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
But my version of being a hater is clearly so internal and so well contained that I guess it's less of an issue. And these very reputable quizzes are not picking up on how fucking toxic I am. So I guess it's time to move on. I am going to Google how to stop being a hater and see what it tells me, okay? Let's just see what the internet has to say to me.
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how to stop being a hater
Let's see what advice the internet has for me. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Skims. So you guys know how hard it can be finding the right bra and underwear, right? I remember in high school wearing thongs for the first time and just being so uncomfortable because I was wearing a thong that had too much fabric.
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how to stop being a hater
Okay, here's the first article I found. It's wikiHow. Duh. wikiHow.life. This article is called How to Stop Hating. Okay, let's see what it tells me. Part one. Stop hating everybody. Assume the best about people instead of the worst. This is something that I struggle with, not just about others, but also with myself.
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Like when I'm having a really hard time with productivity and I'm just not getting a lot done, I assume it's because I'm lazy and I'm a loser and I'm incapable of accomplishing things. I don't often consider when I'm in a phase of being a hater the potential that I might just be exhausted, burnt out, fatigued, having an off day, having an off week even.
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how to stop being a hater
I immediately jump to the conclusion that it's all my fault and I'm horrible and I'm lazy and I'm a piece of shit and I will never accomplish anything. And it is too harsh. It is unfair. But it's also something I do, you know, with other people, of course. That's why we're here. That's why we're having this conversation today.
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how to stop being a hater
If someone comes off cold to me, right, in my head, I might be like, what a fucking asshole. Like, what a bad person. Why was that person rude to me? Why did that person give me the cold shoulder? What an asshole. Instead of looking at that person and asking myself, what is going on in their life that is making them put out bad energy? But I jump to conclusions and I'm like, they're an asshole.
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how to stop being a hater
Or if somebody says something kind of out of touch or like maybe a bit inconsiderate, right? Nothing like truly harmful, but just something a little bit, a little whack, right? Instead of being like, you know, I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt. They're not a bad person. They've shown me for the most part that they are actually a good person.
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This was sort of just, you know, a brief miss. This was like a little miss. You know what I mean? They missed. They missed the mark on that statement. But for the most part, they're good. I'll jump to conclusions when I'm being a hater and be like, oh, everything nice and kind that this person has ever done is now discounted by this one moment of bad or mediocre behavior.
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how to stop being a hater
I truly think that I am kind and welcoming and nonjudgmental and flexible and easygoing on the outside. It's on the inside that I can be an absolute hater, okay? A hater. Now, I'm not just a hater towards myself. I'm a hater towards everyone and everything else as well. That's the problem. No one is safe. I'm not safe and neither is anyone else.
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how to stop being a hater
I judge people based on their worst moment, which is not necessarily fair because if somebody doesn't have a lot of bad moments, But you're basing their entire character on their one bad moment. Like, that's not fair because that's not who they are. You know, based on people's life experience, they're better at handling certain topics. And sometimes people drop the ball.
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how to stop being a hater
And, you know, I think when you're in a hating situation, state of mind, you immediately judge people based on that, you know? And I think it's good to be somewhat critical of people, right? And critical of yourself and not be an enabler of bad behavior. But being a hater is to just jump to the most negative conclusion. And that's definitely what I'm doing right now.
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how to stop being a hater
So I do actually think it's a good piece of advice. Don't assume the best about people instead of the worst. Practice giving people the benefit of the doubt. I know how to do that. It's in me to do that. I've had phases of my life where I do that. I can get back there. Okay, that's good advice. Number two, learn to enjoy small talk.
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how to stop being a hater
You may also hate people because you just feel like you're always stuck talking to them when you'd rather be alone. I am experiencing that right now as I'm a hater. In fact, I've definitely noticed myself less inclined to have small talk recently, which I actually didn't connect to my current status as a hater. I didn't see a connection there.
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So it's very interesting that in this article it's saying, you know, enjoy small talk. Talk to people. Enjoy, you know, that's interesting because I, again, I did not connect those dots. And I definitely more recently just don't want to talk to people. I don't want to have small talk at all, you know.
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how to stop being a hater
If I'm at the grocery store or I'm at my yoga class or whatever, I really just don't want to talk to anyone. And I think to an extent that's normal. You know, there are certain parts of our routine that are social in the sense that people are around, but they're also recharging in an introverted way because you're not talking to these people. You're around people, but you're quiet.
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how to stop being a hater
And I actually think it's normal to enjoy those things. But I agree that, you know, maybe I should lean into a bit more small talk right now because I think talking to people and seeing how great most people are through small talk can sort of restore your faith in humanity and make you feel good, you know? Yeah. which helps you be less of a hater. So, okay. Next, give compliments.
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how to stop being a hater
Well, this is actually something that I do. Although I actually feel a bit guilty about it when I do it, but I do give a lot of compliments. I really try to be very complimentary. And this is actually something that I practice. I really try to be a complimentary person. whether I love someone or hate them.
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You know, I try to compliment everyone as often as possible because I think for me, it makes me feel less bad about the mean thoughts that I have. But I found that giving compliments for the sake of giving compliments doesn't actually make me feel good. It makes me feel guilty. I feel like I'm hiding something. And that's kind of what we're talking about today.
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how to stop being a hater
Like I give compliments and it makes people feel good and it hides the fact that I'm a hater on the inside, but it doesn't fix the fact that on the inside, I don't feel that way. I feel like a hater. I'm judging. I'm hating. I'm disliking. So I think it probably helps to try to retrain the brain to have positive thoughts instead of negative ones.
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how to stop being a hater
If you start to have a negative, judgmental, hater sort of thought, replace it with a compliment. I think that's not necessarily a bad idea. I just don't think it works for me because I do give compliments, but I still am a hater inside. But I do think that perhaps... maybe a practice that I could implement is giving really genuine compliments.
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how to stop being a hater
Like, you know, making a challenge out of like, okay, I'm judging this person or I don't really like this person or whatever. I'm going to try to give the most genuine compliment I can right now and not just give a compliment for the sake of a compliment. Like, that's helpful. And, you know, it makes people feel good. And... whatever, but it needs to be genuine in order for it to help me.
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how to stop being a hater
So maybe that's something I'll work on. Okay, next, open up to people. I have no problem with that. In fact, if anything, I do it too much. So this does not apply to me. Yeah, I don't have that issue. I have some sort of, I don't know, there's something in me. I can just vent and talk about myself and I overshare. I have a Okay, next. Think of all the ways that people can help you.
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how to stop being a hater
I do think that gratitude is one of the most helpful ways to combat hatred, though it's hard. When you're in a hater phase, you see everything through the most pessimistic lens. It's very hard to be like, no. But like, what a miracle it is that we're all here alive on this planet. Everybody's doing their best. For the most part, people are good and we help each other.
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how to stop being a hater
And when I look at it, I'm like, listen, Emma, you're not a hater on the outside. Most people don't even know you're a hater. It's all happening in the confines of your mind. Who is it really harming? And the truth is the only person it's harming is me. You know, I will talk a bit of shit to my loved ones every once in a while. You know, the closest people to me in my life.
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how to stop being a hater
It's hard to remind ourselves of these things when we're in a hater mindset. Because being a hater, it feels good. It's satisfying. And it's easy to like fall into the trap of like, just being a hater all the time because it's never appealing when you're in a hater mindset to like all of a sudden be grateful. You know what I'm saying? When you're in a hater state of mind, that's cringe.
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how to stop being a hater
You're like, ew, I don't want to do that. I want to keep talking shit about this person that I don't like. You know what I mean? Or I, I don't know. It's just, it's not, it's not easy. It's very counterintuitive. And you almost have to like Force yourself to think that way. Okay, next, volunteer. This is actually a great, a great suggestion.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
A lot of times we become a hater because our self-esteem is low. Self-esteem and hatred, they go hand in hand, okay? And one of the best things that you can do to rebuild your self-esteem is help people. It's just one of the best things you can do. And so volunteering is an incredible idea. If you're a hater, go and help people. For whatever reason...
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how to stop being a hater
it not only makes you hate yourself less, which then makes you hate others less, but it just makes you hate everything less because your faith in humanity is sort of restored. You're helping people. You're watching other people help people. You're seeing people in a vulnerable moment being helped. You are the one helping them. You're witnessing sort of a beautiful interaction
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
between human beings happening. And that helps you to restore your faith in humanity. And all of these things will help you be less of a hater. And so I should probably get involved in my community a bit more. Maybe that's something I should do this weekend because holy shit, have I been a hater recently? Okay, part two, stop hating a specific person.
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how to stop being a hater
Yeah, this is something that tends to happen to me. I will get angry at somebody or somebody will like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
kind of fuck me over or like slight me a little bit or something and then I just fucking hate them and that's that's something that again only on the inside they would never know never know in person I'm all good we're cool everything's cool but behind their back and in my heart I am angry okay so this is definitely something I need some advice on uh number one get your feelings out I definitely don't have an issue with that I do get my feelings out I love to vent to my loved ones
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
And I probably do it a little bit too much, to be honest. So that I don't need to do. Number two, talk to the person if you think it will help. Ooh. See, that's the problem. That's the problem with me specifically. A lot of times I will hate someone that I can't talk to.
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how to stop being a hater
In fact, that's probably why I hate them because I can't confront them because we're either not close enough or we're not on speaking terms anymore. If it's like an ex and we broke up, I don't want to reach out again. I'm trying to keep that door closed. you know, or maybe even it's somebody I've never met. Perhaps it's somebody that I've seen on the internet or something.
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how to stop being a hater
For the most part, if I'm close with somebody enough to speak to them about a problem, I will speak to them. So my problem is like the people that I hate, I can't really talk to. I mean, if I ever got the chance, I probably would. But yeah, I don't know that that makes sense for me. Learn to forgive. Yeah, this is huge. I do think I have a tendency to hold a grudge.
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how to stop being a hater
Maybe sometimes it bleeds a bit wider than that. Dangerous. But for the most part, I keep it to myself. And it's not getting back to anyone. You know what I mean? It's just, it's normal human gossip, talking shit here and there. You know, I don't think it's to an unhealthy extent on the outside. Again, I don't think it's particularly harmful to others.
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how to stop being a hater
And it's hypocritical in a lot of ways because I would hope... that people would forgive me. You know what I mean? Like when I do wrong, I hope that people forgive me. So it is sort of hypocritical of me to be somebody who holds a grudge because I deeply value others' forgiveness towards me, right? So, okay, you know, I need to practice forgiveness.
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how to stop being a hater
Maybe every time I feel angry towards a person, I take a moment and say, you know what? I forgive them. I'm going to release this. I'm going to let this go. I'll give it a try. Avoid gossiping about the person. This is really hard for me. I absolutely, and this is a toxic trait and this is something about me that's not good. And we all have toxic traits. Okay. You have yours. I have mine.
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how to stop being a hater
I absolutely do love a bit of gossip here and there. I do. And it's probably shocking to those of you who listen to my podcast because a lot of podcasts are about gossip. Like a lot of podcasts are in one way or another about some sort of gossip.
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You know, it's like, it's something that, you know, many people can talk about for many hours on end, whether it's internet drama or, you know, it's political drama or it's, Personal stories, exposés, there's so much gossip in the podcasting space, and yet I avoided it at all costs. So you'd think, oh my God, Emma must not be a gossip girl. No, I am. I just don't do it publicly. I totally am.
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how to stop being a hater
And it's not great. Like, I'm not proud of it. But I'm kind of, it's one of my vices, you know? And I think it's something that I'm aware of as a problem, right? And so I go through phases. I will kind of remove gossiping from my life. It feels pretty good. But then I slip back into it. And when it goes hand in hand with me being a hater, it is just lethal.
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how to stop being a hater
you know, because I think you can gossip without being a hater. You know, I think being a hater is taking it to the next level, you know, is perhaps fixating on, you know, specific people, perhaps hitting below the belt, you know, like maybe saying stuff that's a little bit less fair, less helpful behind people's backs. You know, it's one thing to be like, huh, you know, this person's behavior is,
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how to stop being a hater
bit odd and unhealthy. And like, why do you think they're like that? Or blah, blah, blah. Like, that's also sort of gossip. But I think that's like helpful gossip. And I love that type of gossip. But I also love gossip of like, this person sucks. Like, I don't like this person. And I don't. And why are they like that? You know, and that's where we have a problem.
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how to stop being a hater
Because that's, again, very normal. And we all do it sometimes. But if you get into the habit of it, it's just toxic and it's negative. So I really need to work on my gossip. I always need to work on my gossip. Keep it in line. Keep it in check. Because I have a tendency to gossip. Focus on the people that you like. Absolutely.
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how to stop being a hater
But when I'm in a hater mood, I will even sometimes start hating the people around me. There are times when I'm in such a state of hater that I'll start to have negative, hateful thoughts about people that I love and that are key fixtures in my life, which is incredibly... self-destructive. It's self-destructive. And again, it's just toxic.
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how to stop being a hater
And so I think in those moments, I really have to focus on like, Emma, you got to just, you got to stop. You got to stop. Yeah. Move on to something that makes you happy. I do think it's important to to have things in your life that bring you joy and that are fulfilling. Because I've noticed I become a hater. I think I fall into like a hater phase for a multitude of reasons.
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how to stop being a hater
I don't think it's any one thing. I think it's low self-esteem. I think it's feeling betrayed by people. I think it's... being maybe a bit more depressed than usual, just for whatever reason, perhaps chemical, perhaps life circumstance, but being in sort of a depressed state of mind. And I think it's when my life lacks purpose, my life lacks depth, my life lacks joy.
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how to stop being a hater
But it's gotten to a point recently where it's clearly harmful for me, okay? For some reason that I'm not quite sure of yet, I've become sort of a hater recently and it's starting to bum me out. You know, it's starting to make me a little bit depressed and it's just not a good headspace to exist in. Like it's a negative headspace and it clouds everything that I see. I'm hateful towards myself.
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how to stop being a hater
When I'm in a phase where I don't have anything to look forward to, I don't have anything fun going on, that will contribute to me being a hater. And so I think the advice to move on to something that makes you happy is good advice because I think a lot of times we fall into that state because we have nothing bringing us joy. Hell yeah, that'll turn you into a hater.
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how to stop being a hater
Next, know that it may take time. I do think being patient with yourself is important in all things. We're always working on ourselves and sometimes it takes time. And so you can be aware that you have a problem with something and that you need to improve it. but rushing yourself or being frustrated that you're not fixing it fast enough only slows down the process. So that's true.
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how to stop being a hater
Okay, and then part three is developing a positive outlook, okay? This article is saying to meditate, which I think, you know, is never bad. Like meditating is always good. I've gone through phases in my life where I've really benefited from meditating. I've gone through phases in my life where it just hasn't worked for me. Perhaps I could try it again.
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how to stop being a hater
I do feel like I've not been taking a lot of time to like meditate and just chill and just close my eyes and breathe. I haven't been finding that time, even within other activities, right? Sometimes I can find meditation in other activities that I'm doing in my life, but I guess I haven't really been giving myself that. So perhaps that's something I should work on. Spend time in nature.
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how to stop being a hater
Yeah, that's true. Nothing will make you feel worse than being stuck inside stuck in a corporate building, stuck inside with the stresses of your life. You know what I mean? There's nothing worse than that. It is important to get out, get some fresh air. I agree. It does help you regain perspective and just overall be in a better mood. I've been really focusing on going on nightly walks.
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how to stop being a hater
mainly because I'm trying to hit 10,000 steps a day because that's one of my New Year's resolutions. And I've done it so far every single day. So I'm kind of killing it. Sorry that I'm killing it. Sorry to brag. 10K a day, every day. Can't help it. Actually, I literally keep pushing it to like 10 p.m. But I go on a night walk.
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how to stop being a hater
And sometimes it's the only time I go outside all day because I work inside. And I exercise a lot of times inside these days. I'm into hot yoga, so I am inside a lot for that. And sometimes it's the only time I get out all day. And it improves my mood so much. Every single time without fail. So that's true. And the better your mood is, the less of a hater you're going to be.
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how to stop being a hater
Write a gratitude list. This is always good to do. And I have not done that in a really long time. So maybe I'll do that later. Really dig in and just write down every single thing I'm grateful for. I think that is a really great practice. It's not always the most convenient. You can't do it all the time. I mean, you could. People have gratitude journals. They fill them out.
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how to stop being a hater
I think that they're helpful and effective, but not everyone works that way. Hang out with other positive people. Yes, that is so true. When other people are also haters with you, oh my God, there's, by the way, nothing more fun, but it's so toxic. It is really important to have people around you who are positive and Because they can hold you accountable.
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how to stop being a hater
They're not going to participate in it with you. They're not going to stoop to your level. In fact, the reason why I realized that I've been sort of a hater recently is because I was having a really tough day the other day. And one of my loved ones was like, you're kind of a hater. Like you've been kind of a hater recently. You hate everything. And you're judging everything.
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how to stop being a hater
And that's why you're miserable. And I was like, well, I don't know if that's why I'm miserable. I think it's, you know, a product of my misery in a way. But then by being a hater, I'm making myself more miserable. It's a hamster wheel. And it really brought it to my attention. And that particular person is a very positive person in my life.
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how to stop being a hater
And I was really grateful that they brought it up to me, even though at first I was like, fuck you. No, I didn't say that. But in my head, I was like, oh my God, that is so annoying. Shut the fuck up. But then I was like, that's me being a hater. They're actually right. Next, build your confidence. So true. As I mentioned earlier, the low self-esteem to hater pipeline, it's solid. It's solid.
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how to stop being a hater
I'm hateful towards others. But again, it's all in my head. So it's like, how bad is it really? It's horrible for me. It's horrible for me. And it's clear to me that I need to work on it and I need to fix it. And the good news is there have been times in my life where I've not been a hater, okay? It's not like this has been a chronic issue for me my entire life, right?
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how to stop being a hater
If your self-esteem is low, chances are you're also kind of a hater. Not always, not always, but there's a really strong connection there. It's tough. I'm constantly working on my self-esteem, trying to make sure that I am basing my self-esteem on the right things. And it's clear, because I'm in a phase of being a hater, that my self-esteem is not based on the right thing in my life.
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how to stop being a hater
And when I think about what am I basing my self-esteem on right now, if I close my eyes and try to think, I would say my self-esteem is based on, honestly, right now, I would say my work ethic and my productivity and my efficiency. Like I'm in a phase of like, come on, Emma, we need to fucking grind. Like you better be grinding, baby. Let's grind.
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Okay, you would think for someone who's so self-aware of their own morals and values that I would be pretty on it and pretty good about it. But I'm not. I'm not. And I'm constantly like picking up after myself in a way. I'm constantly finding shortcomings and areas where I'm not abiding by my morals and values. I'm not getting there. And I think that that's normal. And I think that that's human.
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how to stop being a hater
And that is not a good thing to base your self-esteem on. Especially for me. It's not good for anyone, but it's even worse for me because I am a perfectionist and not in like a humble brag sort of way in like a detrimental to my productivity and mental well-being way. Like it's toxic and it gets in the way of me getting shit done.
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how to stop being a hater
So when I'm basing my self-esteem on my work, basically, I'm doomed. I'm destined to be disappointed because I'm a perfectionist, which means nothing is ever perfect enough for me. I never feel like I'm doing enough. So if my self-esteem is being based on that, then I'm going to have low self-esteem and that's exactly what's happening right now. And so I need to figure that out.
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I need to focus my energy less inward and more outward, help people get more involved in community. I need to be doing that and I'm not doing it enough. Next, focus on things that you have to look forward to. I don't have a lot that I'm looking forward to right now, to be honest. And I've actually like clocked that recently.
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how to stop being a hater
And so it's very interesting that that's also on the list because that really resonates for me. I don't have anything I'm looking forward to. I don't know why that is. Perhaps I'm in like maybe a bit of a minor depressive episode where I'm just not really excited about stuff for whatever reason.
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how to stop being a hater
Perhaps I'm adjusting to growing up and the things that I used to look forward to, like going out on the weekends, going to music festivals, stuff like that doesn't really bring me the same sort of joy anymore. Or it's just not the same anymore because I don't drink alcohol anymore. Music festivals are exhausting.
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how to stop being a hater
Like, by the way, those aren't the only two things that I used to enjoy, but those are just two examples of things that I used to always look forward to. Like every year was like Coachella. Yeah. I can't wait. Or every weekend it was like, going out. I'm going to go out this weekend. I'm going to go to a bar. I can't wait.
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By the way, that was more of a recent thing that happened within the last few years. And then more recently, the excitement around it has sort of died out because I don't drink anymore. And so, yeah, I'm not really looking forward to anything recently. And it's kind of felt like I don't really know what I like to do right now. So I need to fucking figure out something to look forward to.
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how to stop being a hater
And last but not least, this WikiHow article tells me to pursue something that I love. I need to find some sort of meaning. And I think that that's true. I think maybe I'm lacking a bit of passion in my life for some reason. Perhaps it's burnout in all areas of life. Perhaps it's just being in a routine that's comfortable. But I do think that I need to pursue something that I love.
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how to stop being a hater
Maybe that's a little bit scary. Maybe that's a little bit daunting, but is ultimately meaningful. That was actually a pretty good article. WikiHow, I benefited from this, which is funny because this article has two and a half stars out of five. I thought it was fine. I thought it was great. I'm giving it five stars. I don't know why it did so badly. A bunch of fucking haters, I bet. Holy shit.
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how to stop being a hater
I've always particularly enjoyed gossip and enjoyed analyzing people and even perhaps enjoyed hating things. But there have been times in my life where I haven't been a full hater. I've been gentle and kind, even within the confines of my own mind. So I can do it again. However, it's never seemed to stick because here I am again, an internal hater.
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how to stop being a hater
Totally. A bunch of fucking haters. Wow. That is fucking poetic. That is fucking beautiful. The WikiHow article that was actually pretty good. And I think based like I I don't think anything that was said in this article was not true. Got bad reviews because a bunch of fucking haters read it and hated, hated the answer, hated the truth that they were being shown on the article.
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how to stop being a hater
And they just rated it low because they're a hater and they felt threatened by it. All right. Well, that was actually helpful. You know what? Maybe it isn't bad to Google your struggles sometimes. Maybe the internet is helpful. I was actually going to read some more articles, but I really do feel like that covered it. I had another one from verywellmind.com.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Let's see if that one has anything that wasn't mentioned before. Oh, you know what? It actually, it is making some interesting points. It says, some of the reasons why you may hate people, number one, history of being hurt, two, stress, very true. Number three, introverted personality. Four, social anxiety. Five, ideological differences. And six, low self-esteem.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
We already mentioned low self-esteem, but those other ones we didn't really touch on. And I think all of those are very true. History of being hurt. Yes. When I'm feeling betrayed by people in my life, it makes me be a hater. I just start to hate everyone because I don't feel like I can trust anyone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
When I'm in a phase of my life where I'm stressed, a side effect of that is just having a bad mindset. which leads to being a hater, being introverted, or having social anxiety, you're going to hate everyone if they evoke negative emotions in you, which people might for no particular reason if you're introverted or have social anxiety, just because people can cause negative emotions for you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
And then, of course, ideological differences. Something that I think is very prevalent today where it can be very hard for people to be accepting of those who maybe have different ideas. And there's varying degrees of severity of that. This article talks about the consequences of hating people. I don't need to read anything about that. I'm experiencing that, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I'm experiencing the darkness that is that. And let's see. Okay, last but not least, some coping strategies from verywellmind.com. Avoid all or nothing thinking, ooh, that's a great one. That is a great one because I have a tendency to do that. Like, I like to just answer a question. You know what I'm saying? Do I hate this person or not? Do I like this person or not?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Was the action that that person did bad or not? And I'm a hypocrite because I'm always like, you know, saying that like we need to like nuance is so important, nuance is so important. But I myself will sometimes fall into a trap of all or nothing thinking, black and white thinking, one dimensional thinking. And that is just unfair to others and unfair to yourself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Avoiding all or nothing thinking is great advice. Avoid generalizing thinking. Oh, this is if your hatred is towards others on a specific group of people, like a certain race, region, or religion. I do not... experience that so we can move on. For me, that doesn't apply. Practice empathy. Absolutely. Absolutely. But in order to practice empathy, you have to have strength. You have to be strong.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
In order to practice empathy, you have to have a solid sense of self-esteem. And so I think it is important to practice empathy. But the only way to get there is to fix your self-esteem first, which is something that we've talked about quite a bit today. Prioritize self-care. Absolutely. Absolutely. If you feel like you're taken care of, you can be so, you're just so much more light and flexible.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
So I've decided today that I'm going to go on the internet and I'm going to try to figure out how to stop being a hater. And I can almost guarantee that a lot of you need to do this with me, okay? Because... There's a lot of haters on the internet, except the difference with the haters on the internet is that they are not holding it in like me. Okay. I'm an internal hater. I'm holding it in.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Like when I feel good, like I'm taking care of myself. I'm exercising. I'm, you know, taking care of my skin. I'm eating well. Not only do I feel good, which puts me in a better mood, but also I feel taken care of. I'm not expecting things from other people because I'm taken care of. Like I'm all good. I'm not being hypercritical about what other people are doing because I feel solid in myself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I feel fulfilled. I feel complete. I don't know. There's something about it that's very helpful. So that's good advice. And last but not least, seek therapy. That's also good advice. Yeah, a therapist can definitely help you figure it out. Probably better than Google ever could. Anyway, okay, you know what? I'm already feeling like less of a hater. And I'm not just saying that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I actually do feel like, okay, this was all helpful. These were good reminders. And you know what? I'm not perfect. I still might talk shit a little bit here and there, but I'm on the road to recovery, okay? And you know, I think it's funny that I'm afraid of being hated on on the internet as a public figure because I myself in some ways am a hater. I relate to you, haters.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Those of you who don't like me, I get it because I probably feel that way about somebody too. But I, I am different than you because I'm fucking working on it and you're not. But you could be like me and you could work on it too. And that's what's beautiful. You know, if you hate me, I invite you to work on this with me. Let's stop being haters together.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Let's stop being miserable people together. Let's fucking love. Let's love again. Let's find love again. It's in our hearts. I know it is. Anyway. Okay, well, I guess together today we learned how to not be a hater. That's beautiful. I hope you all enjoyed it. And if you did... New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Let's hang out, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
You can stream Anything Goes anywhere you get podcasts. You can watch on Spotify and YouTube. You can follow on social media at Anything Goes. You can keep up with me on all platforms at Emma Chamberlain. And you can buy my coffee. or matcha at chamberlaincoffee.com or find us in store, Target, Sprouts, Whole Foods, and more.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
And at Chamberlain Coffee on social media if you just want to look at beautiful images of coffee that were taken by a very talented photographer who makes the coffee just look absolutely delectable. If you want to see that on your feed every day, perhaps follow Chamberlain Coffee. Yeah, I think that's all I got. I love you all. I appreciate you all. And you know what? I don't hate you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I hate a lot of people and I'm a hater. I'm a fucking hater, but I do not hate you because you support me and you love me. And you know what? Occasionally you might turn on me and you might hate me, but I forgive you. I'm choosing to forgive you and I love you. And let's stick together. Okay, let's stick together. All right, I need to shut the fuck up. All right, I'll talk to you all later.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I love you all. I appreciate you all. And hopefully the next time I talk to you, I'm less of a hater because that would be an achievement, now wouldn't it? All right, bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
The people on the internet who are haters, unfortunately unleash it and using fake accounts that they've made and they just start leaving mean comments and there's no face attached and it's just absolutely genius what they do. Listen, I'm all about not self-diagnosing. If you think that there's something wrong with you, for fuck's sake, go to the doctor, okay? But this is not a disease. It is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Being a hater is sort of a disease. but it's not classified as a disease, okay? You're not learning about it at medical school. Therefore, I can Google it and not feel like I'm being irresponsible with my health. I think the first step would be to figure out how much of a hater I truly am, okay? I've already sort of described to you what me being a hater looks like.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
It's mainly on the inside, you know, just judging everything, hating everything on the inside and occasionally letting it bleed out to my loved ones or friends, but... For the most part, it's on the inside. But I want to test how much of a hater I am. So I found some online quizzes and we're going to take them together to figure out how much of a hater I am. The first one is on BuzzFeed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Thank you, BuzzFeed.com. You have published a false article about me in the past. So I'm actually debating even saying your name. because that was really bad journalism, but all good. And now you're probably going to write another article about me because that's how this stuff works. All good. I can handle it because I am a hater, so I deserve to be hated on a little bit. No, I'm kidding. I don't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Let's take this BuzzFeed quiz. I used to love Buzzfeed quizzes. I would literally take them in class and it was so much fun. Okay, this quiz is called, if you're a true hater, then you'll have no problem getting 100% on this quiz. So let's see if I'm a true, true hater, okay? Question number one, your friend just graduated college and they literally won't shut up about it. What do you say?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I'm so proud of you. Way to go. I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you. Good job. Who did you copy off of? Or was it SparkNotes? And college is such a scam, but it will definitely look good on a resume. To be honest, I think I would say one of the two first ones. And I'm not just saying that because I'm like trying to common sense cheat through the quiz.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I do think I would genuinely say either I'm so proud of you. Way to go. Or I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you. Good job. I'm going to say I'm so proud of you. Way to go. People's accomplishments... don't trigger me too bad. Or at least they might internally, but I would never let that out, ever. Okay, next.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Your friend hosts a dinner party, but cooking has never been one of their skills. They did put a lot of effort in though. What do you say? I'll definitely take some leftovers. My dog loves this kind of thing. Or have you ever thought about trying out for Nailed It? I don't even know what Nailed It is. Oh, I guess it's like a show where you like make food badly, perhaps.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I love how you weren't afraid to stop following the recipe and just do you. And last but not least, these scrambled eggs are actually to die. I think I would say these scrambled eggs are actually to die. Unless that's like sarcastic, but that's I would abbreviate to die for by saying to die. That's something I would say. I would never say anything mean.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I would say these scrambled eggs are actually to die. I really hope that that's what they mean by that. Not just like... some sort of sarcastic phrase. But yeah, listen, if somebody's bad at cooking, but they put a bunch of effort into it, I would never have the heart to say anything mean, okay? Next, your friend shows you some dog shit movie that they really love, but it just isn't you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
What would you say? Number one, I can honestly say I've never seen a movie like that before. Two, you would like this movie, LOL. Three, it was so fun. I loved it. And four, I really admire how you have no shame about the things that you like. I think I'd probably say, I can honestly say that I've never seen a movie like that before. It's a true statement, but it's neither positive nor negative.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
So that seems good. Next, your friend gets a job offer from a company you've wanted to work for for a long time. In your eyes, they've never been as dedicated as you are. What do you say? That's awesome that they're willing to take a risk on you. Or, I mean, literally anything would be better than your old job. Or, I really am happy for you. I'm sure you're going to be great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
And I'm not particularly angry at myself about it. I think it's to be expected. However, there are times when I sort of deviate from my morals and my values. And it becomes apparent, not because I checked up on it and was like, hey, you're not really... you're not really doing that. But instead it pops up for me because it causes me some sort of pain, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Or, I thought Fancy Job Inc. was kind of over, but so happy for you. I would say, I'm really happy for you. I'm sure you're going to be great. I'm not a fucking asshole. I mean, this quiz, I'm kind of like, does anyone say this stuff? I mean, I know people do because... I've gotten like some backhanded compliments before, like some backhanded shit said to me before.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
So I know that people say this, but I feel like it's very rare. Most people are not being a hater in real life like this. Okay, next question. Your friend buys a house and while that is impressive, it definitely looks like the before on an episode of Fixer Upper. What do you say? 15 miles from the grocery store, couldn't be me. Only three bedrooms, who needs an office, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Gorgeous, what a house. Or the lack of space will really let you focus on family time. I don't really think I would say any of that. I think I would honestly walk into the house and like find some sort of weird niche tile that they like don't even make anymore that I actually genuinely liked. And I'd be like, oh my God, I would do anything for this tile. They don't make it anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
You can't even find it. It was like strictly in the 80s. I freaking love it. Like, I don't know. I actually really appreciate all different types of homes. And like, I, yeah, I guess I would say gorgeous what a house. I'm not... OK, this me taking this quiz is fucking boring, you guys. How many more questions do I have?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Because I'm honestly feeling like this isn't I'm not learning anything about myself from this because I'm just answering nicely. All right. Let's finish the quiz, though. Your friend just bought a new car, but it's definitely not your style. What do you say? At the end of the day, you just need something to get you from point A to point B. Or it doesn't come in white. Or this car really suits you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Or I would have gotten the Mercedes. I would just say this car really suits you. Again, not an asshole. It doesn't come in white. What does that even mean? That makes no sense. Okay. Your messy friend just got engaged. You love them, but it's kind of unbelievable. You know so many other people with their shit way more together. What do you say? OMG, I'm genuinely so happy for you. That's cool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
So how about those Lakers? I really hope this one works out better than the last one. Or it's such a great reminder that there really is someone out there for everyone. Of course, I'm going to say, oh my God, I'm so genuinely happy for you. This is just ridiculous. Okay, moving on. We only have like two or three more.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Your friend runs a marathon and while it's quite the feat, they are being like so obnoxious about it. That is really annoying. So what would I say? That's so great. You got the same time as my Nana. Or I've heard running is really hard on your body long term, but so happy for you. Or I'm legit so impressed by you. Or I didn't think we'd be waiting for you at the finish line for so long.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Honestly, saying that running is hard on your body is something I would say, to be honest. I'm not proud of it. I would never say it, though, after somebody had just run a marathon. I would say I'm legit so impressed by you because, again, I'm not an asshole. Your friend tells you that they just got cast in a reality TV show that starts filming in two weeks, but you'd be way better on TV.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
What do you say? Even if you go home first, it will be so fun. I love that the casting directors were willing to cast someone like you. Reality TV is so tired, but I hope that you make some money at least. You're definitely going to be America's favorite. I would definitely say you're definitely going to be America's favorite.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
There's a slight chance that I'd say, hey, even if you go home first, it will be so fun. But I would never say that in a backhanded way. Okay, moving on. Your friends just had a baby and it's kind of amazing to you that they, of all people, decided to become parents. What do you say? So happy for you too. You'll be great parents. So exciting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
But who even knows what kind of world she's going to grow up in if Earth is even still here. Oh my God. I would never, ever, ever fucking say that. That is absolutely one of the most cruel things I think you could ever say to a new parent. And that is very sad. So don't say that. Okay, or it's crazy how just anyone can become a parent, you know? Or, and it was like on purpose, it was amazing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I would say, so happy for you too. You'll be great parents. That's obvious. And this is the last one. Your friend just went viral on TikTok for a video that is literally so cringe. What do you say? Okay, superstar, guess you're an influencer now. Or, I love how you're not afraid to make a fool of yourself. Or, I will never understand how social media works. That's crazy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
By not abiding by my morals and values, I have let something slip to a point where now I'm causing myself pain because at least half of my morals and values were created by me and to prevent pain, to prevent suffering. And so there's like a 50-50 chance when I drop the ball that it might cause pain. And recently I noticed that I had dropped the ball in the hater department, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Or, wow, the algorithm was really on your side on this one. I don't really like any of these responses. Okay, superstar, guess you're an influencer now. That feels... backhanded and kind of rude. I love how you're not afraid to make a fool out of yourself. That's also rude. I'll never understand how social media works. That's crazy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Even if I didn't understand, I actually don't know how social media works. It's my job and I still don't quite get it. And while the algorithm was really on your side on this one, that's also kind of rude because it's saying like, the video that you made sucks. It's just for some reason the algorithm was pushing it. I'm not going to say any of that. I'm going to choose...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I love how you're not afraid to make a fool out of yourself, actually. Because I feel like that's not, I feel like that's actually kind of nice. Like you don't give a fuck and that's badass. Like that's the way I would say it. So that's why I chose that. Because okay, superstar, guess you're an influencer now is something that I would absolutely never say.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
That is one of the most foul, like that just, that's foul. Anyway, okay, my results. It says I'm a 9% hater. That's just not true. But that's because all of these things were external. You probably have a hater moment every few months or so, but you're mostly just nice, even if that means you hold back the truth. That is true.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
but I am an internal hater, so I'm not feeling satisfied with that answer, and I'm gonna take one more online quiz to see if it gives me a more accurate answer that isn't just referring to external situations. I don't know, we'll see, okay? This is a random quiz I found on a website called ProProfs.com. Never heard of it, and I'm probably gonna get a virus from this website. Okay, let's begin.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Today we'll be discussing one of my favorite art forms, and that would be the art of subtle yet impactful accessorizing, specifically within the context of fashion, clothing, self-expression. I love all types of accessorizing. I love accessorizing the home, accessorizing the car, accessorizing the computer desktop, like the list goes on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
It can be tempting to go to these obvious places and sometimes these obvious places are exactly where we need to go. I have... quite a few mass produced accessories, right? Like I have designer sunglasses, I have designer bags, I have, you know, even like the gloves I'm wearing today, I got from Brandy Melville like six years ago, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Like I have accessories that are from, you know, these sort of more mass produced places. There's nothing necessarily wrong with that, and sometimes that's just what makes sense. However, I would say try to find it elsewhere first. This is something that if I could go back in time and rebuild my wardrobe, I would do more of.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Now I'm at a place where I'm like, okay, I have a lot of stuff, and I would love to go find a handmade silver and black belt, but I got one from Aritzia, and it's great, and I like it, and I wear it a lot, and It would be cool to have one that's handmade because I wear that all the time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
element of putting clothing pieces together is balancing the silhouettes together, making it look flattering together, you know? And I think the art of accessorizing that base is its own separate sort of art form. And maybe I'm just taking all this too seriously, and maybe I sound pretentious, and maybe you all hate me, but this is how I feel. Thank you so much for watching.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
And if I ever find one that I love that's handmade or vintage or unique or something, I'll go and I'll get that because I would prefer to have that. But in the meantime, and possibly even forever, because maybe I'll never find it feels justified to like, I already have a silver and black belt. I don't need to go buy a new one. You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Unless one was perfect and spoke to me and I was like, I absolutely need this. I'm not going to go buy a new one for the sake of buying a new one, right? But if I could go back in time, I would have waited and spent time finding the perfect black and silver belt because that's a piece I wear all the time, and it would be awesome if it had personality to it, you know, if it was custom.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Maybe one day I'll, like, somehow figure out a way to decorate it in a way that makes sense to make it more personalized, but... yeah, if I could go back in time, that's something that I would focus more on is where I'm actually sourcing the stuff. And again, it doesn't mean more expensive. It doesn't mean more expensive. It just means more time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
It just takes more time and a bit more hunting, if you will, which I think if you're the weather started to get warmer and I had to donate majority, actually all of my jean shorts because a lot of them either were too small for my liking. I like a baggier jean short. They were either too tight or, you know, they just weren't in a style that I wear anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
So I donated all of my denim shorts and I was so excited to find a new pair. not find like 30 pairs like what I used to have, which was completely excessive. But I was excited to find the perfect pair that was timeless that I'm gonna wear for the next 10 years. But it took so long. It took so long. And there were many times where I was like, these are fine, I guess.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
But I waited and I eventually found the perfect pair of shorts. And I'm so happy that I did. It was fun too. Like if you look at it as fun and you look at it as a hunt, it makes it fun. Next piece of advice, think outside the box when it comes to accessorizing. A lot of us think of accessorizing and we think of the standard. We think of sunglasses, belt, purse, bag.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
There's so much more to accessorizing than just that. Okay. Anything that is on our body can be an accessory. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
That means the cup, like the insulated cup that we carry around, our laptop that we constantly carry around, our headphones that we're always wearing, you know, our lunch bag that we carry our lunch in, our nails, what we get on our nails, you know, like I try to think of everything as an accessory and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
And there are some things that like, I just personally don't care about being an accessory, right? Like, for example, my Stanley cup. Okay, my Stanley cup is very standard. It's just a fucking Stanley cup. It is what it is. I haven't found a way to decorate it that inspired me. It just hasn't called to me. I just don't care. However, my laptop, I decided to paint on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
My laptop is something that I'm constantly carrying around, that people constantly see me with. I mean, not, I guess, constantly, but like if I'm at the airport working on my computer, if I'm at a meeting working on my computer, if I go to a cafe to work, which doesn't happen as often anymore, but still every once in a while I'll do that. My laptop is an accessory.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
It can be an accessory, which is why I painted it, which some people think is crazy, like actually crazy and idiotic. But I had this idea. I was like, I want to paint my laptop. So I got acrylic paint and And I painted the top of the laptop white. And then on the Apple logo, I painted a realistic looking Apple. When I first did it, people in my life were like, you are a freak.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Like, why would you do that? I'm obsessed with it, okay? I think it looks incredible. I think it looks incredible. It looks so cool. It's so personalized. Yes, I painted directly onto the laptop. I could have just painted like on a case. No, I decided to paint on the laptop, which was a little bit crazy. Again, it's like kind of dumb in retrospect. Actually, it's not though, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
My laptop has been painted for like many months. I'm not sick of it. Every time I look at it, it brings me joy. And it feels like this little accessory. I have no regrets. I have no regrets. But if you're not feeling that courageous, put a case on your laptop and paint it. Now your laptop is an accessory. Think outside of the box. Think about all the different ways that you can accessorize.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
You know, it doesn't just need to be a pair of socks and a belt and a purse and that match the rest of your outfit. You know what I mean? There's so much more that it can be. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Skims. I remember the first time I tried on a push-up bra. And you know what the first thing I thought was?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Not, wow, my boobs look really good. No, I thought, wow, this is the most uncomfortable device I've ever put on my body in my life. What is this thing? Yes, it's effective. Yes, it's working. But wow, I'm uncomfortable. And I ultimately put it back and didn't buy it. And to be honest, I didn't put a push up bra on again until recently when I tried on the Skims push up bra. I was blown away.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
I was blown away. The boobs were up and I was comfortable. You're not sacrificing lift for comfort. With the Skims Push-Up Bra, you actually get to have both. It's kind of incredible. Shop Skims Ultimate Bra Collection and more at Skims.com and at Skims LA Flagship on Sunset Boulevard. If you place an online order, be sure to let them know that we sent you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Select podcast in the survey and then anything goes in the drop-down menu that follows. Now, back to the episode. My next piece of advice, let your accessories complete the sentence that your outfit is trying to say, okay? It's almost like your outfit is half of a sentence. It's like the first half of the sentence. And then the accessories are like the conclusion, are like the ultimate point.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Okay. So like, let's say what your outfit is trying to say is, I make music. Okay. Like, let's say you're styling yourself in a way where you're like, I want to look like a rock star. Fuck it. I make music. Okay. Let's say that is what you want your outfit to say. Sounds cringe, but that is... Like that's sometimes how we style ourselves, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Or maybe you want your outfit to say like, I watch a lot of movies. Like I'm a movie nerd. It's almost like the clothing that you put on the shirt, the pants, is the first half of the sentence. So in the I make music example, it's almost like the clothes that you choose, the pants, the shirt, is the I make part. Okay, the clothing that you put on, the shapes that you choose, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Whether or not the clothing is worn in or it has paint on it or it's ripped up or a lot of times if you're dressing to be like, I'm a rock star. Look at me, I'm a rock star. You know, you're wearing like maybe ripped up stuff or you're wearing like leather and like that sort of paints the picture like I make. I'm a creative person. The clothing is like I'm a creative person.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Feed by hand for a playful moment, in a bowl for a creamy treat, or as a topper to make mealtime fun. Visit TemptationsTreats.com to learn more. Now, let's get back to the episode. I feel like recently, my mind has sort of expanded around what accessorizing is and can be. Because I feel like for a long time, when I thought of accessorizing, I was like, well...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
And then the sentence is completed. I make music when you add big fucking diva sunglasses. You know what I mean? Like badass sunglasses and like a belt, like a sick, like retro, like rockstar belt and like a really cool vest that has like a music note on it. No, I'm kidding. That's a little bit too on the nose, but you get what I'm saying here?
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the art of accessorizing
Like, it's almost like the conclusion is given by the accessories. And then it's the same thing with the other example. Like I'm a movie nerd. If that's what your outfit is saying, right? Like maybe your outfit looks very like you, you like to dress like Wes Anderson movies because you love movies. Like you dress very almost theatrical in a way or whatever.
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the art of accessorizing
Wearing like beautiful brown pants and like a beautiful brown boot and wearing like a, you know, bright yellow blouse, maybe tucked in. That could potentially paint the picture of like, I'm a movie because you look, you know, you're wearing these bright colors. You almost look like a character, right? But then I'm a movie nerd comes in when you really turn that thing into a costume.
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the art of accessorizing
And maybe you're a little nerdy. Maybe you're wearing like little nerdy glasses and, you know, you're wearing like this green belt and it is making your shirt super tucked in and tight. And like, I don't know, like maybe this doesn't make sense to anyone else, but the accessories complete the sentence that, Right.
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the art of accessorizing
They create this full, well-rounded image, sentence, message like that is what accessories are for. They're for completing the sentence. So when it comes to figuring out like, OK, how do I accessorize this outfit? Figure out what the vibe is. What are you trying to say with the outfit? And then that can help guide you.
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what accessories to choose because then you're like, all right, I'm trying to choose the accessories that complete this sentence. This method that I'm describing to you right now might not make any fucking sense to you. You might be like, Emma, that is some of the weirdest, most abstract bullshit I've ever heard in my life. Fair enough, okay? But try to find value in that through like...
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the art of accessorizing
figuring out a sort of formula. You know what I mean? That's the formula that makes sense to me. Sometimes I want to dress like a vampire. I want to look like a vampire's daughter. You know what I mean? I want to look like... A vampire's wife. Those are two very different things, okay? So like my clothes that I pick out might be like, I want to look like a vampire.
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the art of accessorizing
It's like I'm wearing all black. I'm maybe with some pops of maroon or whatever. You know, maybe I'm wearing sort of like gothic sort of silhouettes or something or like whatever. And then I want to look like a vampire's wife. Okay, maybe I'm adding like black lace... you know, tights or like I'm adding maybe I have like long, you know, sort of gothic looking nails that are like red.
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the art of accessorizing
You know, it's like that all adds to this vibe of like the vampire's wife. You know, like that's how I build an outfit in my head is I'm like there's some sort of vague vision and it's not necessarily on the nose, but it's like it's saying something. And so basically this is the most cringe thing that I've ever explained in my life. So I need to move on. But take this with a grain of salt.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Let your accessories complete the sentence that your outfit is trying to say. Do it that way you will. Let's move on. My next piece of advice, use accessories to balance colors and tie things together. The right accessory can make two things that normally wouldn't make sense together, make sense together. And so you set that to your advantage. If you're getting dressed, right?
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the art of accessorizing
And listen, everybody builds outfits differently. Some people start with accessories or like, oh, I really want to wear this accessory today. I'm going to build an outfit around it. Some people are like, okay, I'm going to put on my base first and then accessorize from there. Everybody's a little bit different. So it's kind of hard to give advice about it, but...
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the art of accessorizing
I'm just wearing a bag that matches the outfit and I'm just wearing a pair of socks that matches the outfit and I'm just wearing a belt that sort of matches the outfit or makes sense, I guess. I thought of it in very simple terms and that is absolutely accessorizing. And sometimes that's all the accessorizing that makes sense is sort of simple accessorizing.
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the art of accessorizing
A lot of times I will start with sort of the base and I accessorize to pull things together later. I'll be like, I really like the idea of like wearing this top with this bottom, right? Like this feels interesting to me. But a lot of times two things that I want to put together don't actually look good together just by themselves, right?
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the art of accessorizing
They make sense together, but only when knowing that I'm about to accessorize later to make it all make sense. And there are many different ways that you can use accessories to truly make the outfit feel cohesive and complete and make it make sense together.
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the art of accessorizing
whether that's through being mindful about color palette, either, you know, balancing out colors by saying, okay, well, I'm wearing a white shirt and I'm wearing a black skirt. You know, it'd be kind of nice to bring the black up to my eyes. So I'll wear black sunglasses. But I also feel like it needs kind of a pop of color. So maybe I'll add a pop of color with the socks.
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the art of accessorizing
Eh, I don't really like that. It doesn't feel balanced when I look at it. Maybe I'll add a red hat. Okay, great. That looks great. Okay, now, you know, When it comes to the shoes, like I'm wearing black shoes, so then maybe I should wear a white sock because then it's like white, black, white, black. Like that feels balanced to me. And then there's the pop of red. I really like that. Okay, great.
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the art of accessorizing
Moving on with our day. You know, you use accessories to balance out the colors. Or perhaps, you know, you have sort of an earth tone look going. Maybe you have like a beige top and like mint green bottoms and like brown shoes. Well, maybe you can... sort of create an outfit where it's just a bunch of different earth tones, a bunch of different, slightly different earth tones.
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the art of accessorizing
So then maybe you add like an orangey, rusty, you know, grayish color for your socks. And then maybe you add like a piece of jewelry that has a bunch of beautiful stones that are a bunch of different earth tones. And now your whole outfit is this beautiful collage of a bunch of different earth tones that feels cohesive.
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the art of accessorizing
And even though you're wearing a bunch of different colors, it feels cohesive because you know, that is the theme of the outfit. You're wearing a bunch of different earth tones. Whereas if you were to just be wearing a beige top and mint green pants and brown shoes, it's like, okay.
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the art of accessorizing
But now if you add another dimension with the sock and another dimension with the jewelry and maybe you add, you know, a pair of glasses that are another earth tone and then a bag that's another earth tone and it's just this sort of like beautiful palette all over the place. Now it feels intentional because you've made the choice
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the art of accessorizing
to choose this color palette but not quite the same color twice so many different times that now it feels like it makes sense.
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the art of accessorizing
But also too, something that I pay close attention to when I'm accessorizing that might seem like overkill to some of you but to me is something that I really find important when it comes to building an outfit is like textures, like paying attention to textures and balancing out textures. For example, if I'm wearing shiny black shoes with an outfit,
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the art of accessorizing
And I'm trying to choose what pair of sunglasses to wear. A lot of times, I'm going to choose my shiny black pair of glasses rather than my more matte material pair of glasses. Or if I am wearing really like thick knit socks, right? I might say, oh, wait, I have like a thick... knit little headscarf sort of thing. Maybe I'll throw that around my neck or tie it around my belt loop or something.
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the art of accessorizing
But more recently, I feel like my mind has expanded to what accessorizing can truly be in fashion, like the potential for... truly having fun with accessorizing, truly expressing yourself through accessorizing. And it's inspired me today to share with you a few things. Number one, some accessorizing advice. Is the advice professional? Of course not. It's me, silly. It's unprofessional.
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the art of accessorizing
I try to create themes with textures as well. And this doesn't always make sense, but I do pay attention to it because I think it's a subtle detail that can really make an outfit feel cohesive. My next piece of advice, be intuitive. Add where you feel there's an empty space. Don't just make decisions based on what you've seen on Pinterest or what you've seen in fashion books.
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the art of accessorizing
I think accessorizing needs to be intuitive and it needs to be determined by you in the moment based on what exactly is being worn by you. And there are so many different variables that impact the way that an outfit reads on you as an individual. What is the daily jewelry that you wear? How do you style your hair? What color is your hair? What color are your nails? How do you get your nails done?
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Do you not get your nails done? What do you have in your wardrobe? What do you even have available to you? You know, like all of these different things impact how you're able to accessorize.
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the art of accessorizing
And I think, you know, that's why I don't personally always love the method of like, oh, I saw, you know, on Pinterest or whatever, I saw somebody wear a skirt and then they put like another skirt on top of it to accessorize it sort of. And it looked really good. And then they also wore like a bikini top over top of their tank top to add some dimension. Like that might look cool. That might work.
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the art of accessorizing
And you can try it if you really want. You know what I mean? But I always recommend being intuitive. Like try to be intuitive with it. Look at your outfit and see what it needs. Listen, I think it's fun to experiment. And if you see something that you like, I absolutely am all for like... being like, okay, today I really want to try this sort of accessorizing technique or something, right?
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the art of accessorizing
Like, I really want to try it. Okay, great. Then that's how you start your outfit. But if you're taking an outfit and you're like, all right, what accessories do I add to this? In those moments, I think if it feels intuitive, like, oh, I saw somebody do that thing on Pinterest. I'm going to try that. Great.
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the art of accessorizing
If it feels intuitive and it feels like that's what the outfit needs and you're looking in the mirror and you're like, oh, there's like a blank space here that feels empty, like it needs something. It would benefit from something. then add it. But don't just add it because you see other people doing it. Does that make sense? Be intuitive with the accessorizing and try stuff. Try a bunch of stuff.
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the art of accessorizing
You know, try things on. It doesn't look good. Try the next thing. We can only see so much in our imagination. I think a lot of times we have to try things on and experiment to truly figure out what actually makes sense for an outfit.
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the art of accessorizing
And my last piece of advice, at least that I can think of right now, your accessories need to either be functional or not noticeable to you physically or else they're not a good accessory, okay? Accessories should never be getting in your way, right? Like a scarf that's itchy, a belt that's super huge and like rides up and like is super uncomfortable and doesn't fit in your belt loops,
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the art of accessorizing
super heavy earrings that are hurting your ears, nails that are too long to function. These are not good accessories, right? Like painting on your laptop and then not using the right kind of paint and it chipping off. Like these are all not good accessories. This is not good ways of accessorizing. Accessorizing should either be fully functional, like it is helping.
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the art of accessorizing
It's a belt that's holding up your pants. It's a pair of socks that are keeping you warm. It's a scarf that actually keeps you warm. It's
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the art of accessorizing
actually a functional accessory or it's something you don't even notice like oh i put a little pin on my shirt or like i put on a cute little watch but i don't even feel it on my wrist or i ironed on a patch onto my favorite hat like accessories should either be not noticeable you barely even realize that they're there or they actually serve a purpose otherwise it's a bad accessory
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the art of accessorizing
If you really love a scarf and you want to buy it because you think it looks so cute, but it's itchy, that is a bad accessory. Just because it's cute, just because it's like whatever. Accessorizing is more than just like, oh, this looks cute and ties my outfit all together. No, it should also be functional. and comfortable. Otherwise, it is a bad accessory.
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the art of accessorizing
So keep that in mind when shopping for accessories and also getting dressed in the morning. If there's an accessory in your closet that you don't gravitate towards, you don't choose because it's uncomfortable, it gets in the way, it's frustrating. A great example would be even sunglasses that are uncomfortable. That's the risk of buying sunglasses online. I do it. I've done it.
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the art of accessorizing
So take it with a grain of salt. But I have learned a lot about accessorizing recently, and I want to share... some of my learnings through advice. I also want to give you some accessory inspiration that goes beyond just like a purse that matches your outfit or like a belt that matches your outfit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
And it's worked out well before, but it's also worked out terribly because sunglasses need to fit your head. And if they don't fit your head properly, well, that's a problem. They're either too tight or they're too loose and falling off. You're not going to wear those. So that's a bad accessory. Even if they look cute, accessories need to be comfortable.
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the art of accessorizing
Now that I've given you some advice, let me give you some thought starters, some suggestions, some ideas. And I'm not giving you these suggestions, thought starters, ideas with the hope that you go out and buy them immediately. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's not what I'm trying to do here, okay? Because as I mentioned earlier, accessorizing should be as personal as possible.
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the art of accessorizing
So look at this more as just inspiration. Truly look at this as a thought starter. Let these ideas inspire you to come up with your own idea. Or hear one of these suggestions and find a version of it that's uniquely you. That is the purpose of this, okay? So let's begin. Number one, I'm absolutely obsessed with pins and buttons and patches right now, but more specifically pins.
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the art of accessorizing
I actually bought a pin maker so that I can make my own pins, like fully like a pin maker, okay? Or a button, a button maker actually. You know what? It is a button, isn't it? A pin is something else. Okay, I bought a button maker so that I could make personalized buttons that I could wear with my outfits. Because I was having a hard time finding buttons that I liked.
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the art of accessorizing
But if I were to have that conversation, we'd be here for six to seven hours. And I don't think either of us have time for that. So today we're just talking about accessorizing in fashion, in self-expression. I love accessorizing just as much as I love clothing. And I, in my brain, look at the two things as sort of separate. They obviously come together to make a complete outfit, right?
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the art of accessorizing
I found a few good ones online from people who make them, but they weren't personalized enough. I was like, I want really personalized buttons, and I couldn't really find... Anyway, I bought a button maker so that I could make my own buttons. But I'm also going to continue searching for cool...
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the art of accessorizing
vintage ones online on eBay like you know like like finding you know cool weird ones as time goes on but I also want to make my own but I think personal little pins buttons patches these types of things that you can adhere to existing items and add a little pop of color add a bit of personality it can be super impactful.
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the art of accessorizing
And you can like put like a name patch on something like you could order a bunch of like custom patches that all have your name on it. And like, I don't know, put them on your favorite belt and on like glue it onto your water bottle and glue it onto your laptop and like... put it on one of your basic black shirts that is kind of boring that you don't really like. You know what I mean?
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the art of accessorizing
There's so many different ways that you can use pins, buttons, patches, these types of things to add a lot of dimension and character to an outfit or to a piece of clothing. I also think a great area to experiment when it comes to accessorizing is in glasses.
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the art of accessorizing
I've noticed that a really bold pair of glasses is something that I will re-wear over and over again, rather than like a really bold piece of clothing, like a statement piece of clothing, like a sweater that has like a really loud bow. pattern on it and has like a quote on it and there's all this stuff going on, that I'm less gravitated towards over and over again.
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the art of accessorizing
I want to give you some thought starters, some ideas for ways that you can accessorize that are a bit more interesting, a bit more unique to perhaps open your mind to what accessorizing can be when you truly think outside the box and have fun with it. So without further ado, let's start with some accessorizing advice.
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the art of accessorizing
A really bold pair of glasses with like a bold shape is something that I'll wear over and over and over again and I'm constantly drawn to it. In addition to that, I find that a really strong pair of glasses that are really stylized and really loud and really make a statement... that really, really heavily impact the vibe of an outfit.
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the art of accessorizing
For example, I have like, you know, a pair of sort of black like shield glasses, like shield. They're huge. They like cover half my face. In fact, I actually lost them for like a year and a half and I had been trying to find them and I could not find them.
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And then I saw online that they were on sale and I was like, fuck it, I'm buying another pair because I loved this pair of glasses so much and I used to wear them so often and I lost them and I was so sad and I thought I would find them and I never did. And so then I ordered them again when they were on sale. Anyway, they're like huge black shield glasses.
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the art of accessorizing
Every time I wear those, it's like, whoa, she is a badass. She's a fashion freak badass. Look at that freak. You know what I mean? It just reads creepy and weird and alien and cool and badass and scary and creepy and futuristic, but also like motorcycle, but also like not motorcycle, but also like alien, but also like cool. It's great, you know? But they're definitely extreme.
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the art of accessorizing
It's like a bold choice. But I wear those glasses all the time. I constantly gravitate towards those glasses because they make such a statement and they make such a difference. They... make such a difference in my outfit that I actually choose those more than maybe more versatile, more simple glasses because those just don't have as much of an impact.
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the art of accessorizing
I guess what I'm trying to say is I feel like you can be a bit more edgy, a bit more experimental with your accessories than maybe you can with your clothing because I think with your clothing, more experimental stuff tends to be less comfortable, tends to be more fatiguing and exhausting, and it tends to... I don't know, just not work out as well, I guess. That's my experience anyway.
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the art of accessorizing
So my closet is definitely a bit less experimental. It's a lot of basics that I can layer together in different ways. And then where the personality and intrigue really comes out for me tends to be in the accessories and the way that I layer things and stuff like that. I also suggest finding weird, random shit that's kind of a little bit silly.
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the art of accessorizing
Some of my favorite accessories are in this sort of category. For example, like I have this purse that has a banana on it and I actually have another purse from the same brand that has a carrot on it, like a 3D banana, a 3D carrot purse. like sticking out the front of the bag.
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the art of accessorizing
And, you know, it's funny because I think this bag was so... It kind of was like... I think it had kind of like a Pinterest moment. Like a lot of people saw it. It was like kind of a popular thing for a second there. And it's something that I actually think is technically sort of trendy because it's so...
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It's so eye-catching and it's so sort of humorous, but it's something that to me, I like genuinely love so much and I love the concept and I love it so much that to me, it's actually timeless.
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Or it's not even necessarily timeless, but it's something that even though maybe it had its moment a few, like a year ago and it was like more trendy then, I still love it because I think it's funny and I think it's interesting and I continue to wear it. Anyway, that was sort of a side note.
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the art of accessorizing
I love taking something as simple as a black bag and putting a banana or a carrot on the front of it, a 3D one that looks real. And now it's something different. Now it's something more intriguing. Now it's a conversation starter. I think that that's great. I also recently bought online this like... Well, not recently. A few months ago, I bought this...
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the art of accessorizing
Okay, number one, take your time to find the perfect accessories for your collection. Take your time and find ones that are strong. Okay, I'll explain what strong means in a second. To find strong accessories takes time, takes experimenting. It's better to go on an extended hunt for the perfect accessories than to just cave and buy what's at, you know, a trendy store.
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the art of accessorizing
handmade scarf that looks like a beautiful white mouse or white rat and it has like little red eyes it is so cute and it is so weird but it's so cute I love that thing I absolutely love it it's one of my favorite things that I own it's so weird But it actually looks cute. Like I can style it in a cute way and it's functional and it keeps my neck warm and it's great. You know what I mean?
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the art of accessorizing
You know, I love buying like little buttons and pins, like I mentioned earlier, or even making little buttons and pins that are weird, that say something weird on them, that say something funny, that infuse some humor into my outfit. Try to find ways to perhaps infuse humor into your outfit, infuse weirdness into your outfit through accessories. I think that you'll find that that's a lot of fun.
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Oh my God, I just remembered when I used to have like this rubber chicken bag. It was like a bag that looked like a rubber chicken. That's another great example. Like it's fun. To some people, it might be corny. It might be cringe. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but it's a suggestion that I think is worth considering. I sort of mentioned this earlier, but decorate your average items.
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the art of accessorizing
Everything can be an accessory. Your phone, your laptop, your water bottle, the belt that you wear every day. Find ways to accessorize items that are normally just blah. Paint your laptop, paint your phone, put stickers all over your computer, put stickers all over your phone, put stickers on your belt. Find different ways to personalize normally mundane items. And I think it's fun to...
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do it DIY because you're the only one who's going to have it. That's really special and really cool. And I don't know, it's fun. It's fun to put your own little stamp on something. And it's fun to think of everything as an accessory because it gives you a more intimate relationship with the things that you carry with you on a daily basis, you know, or on a consistent basis.
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It makes everything feel artistic, like art in a way. It makes your laptop feel like art. It makes your phone, your water bottle, your lunchbox, your book bag, it makes everything feel like art, interesting, like a form of self-expression. And that's fun. That can be fun. So decorate your average items.
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the art of accessorizing
Another suggestion, random, but fingerless gloves, lace gloves, thin like mesh gloves, gloves that are a little bit unusual. Like obviously when it's wintertime, we are all well aware of a glove or a mitten. We are no stranger to this, but I think we tend to forget that there are other types of gloves. You can buy, for example, lace gloves.
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the art of accessorizing
That adds so much texture and dimension to an outfit without actually adding warmth. You could wear that in the spring or summer, and it would look so cool and so interesting, but you're not overheating. Gloves, maybe more avant-garde gloves, can be a great way to accessorize that you wouldn't normally think of. In fact, I actually have been trying to get more into the glove.
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the art of accessorizing
I love a fingerless glove. I've been wearing them for a few years now, but I'm kind of... keeping my eye out for other types of gloves that could potentially be interesting to add to my collection. Next, a little beret hat, like a little French beret, you know, or like a little cap, like a little, not necessarily a French beret, but like any sort of little cap.
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the art of accessorizing
I absolutely love a little cap, a little felt hat, something that isn't even quite as stylized as a French beret. But there are so many different types of little caps that you can wear that are elevated, unlike maybe something like a baseball cap that's a little bit less elevated. We tend to overlook what hats can be. And I absolutely love a little cap. I hope that I'm explaining that well.
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the art of accessorizing
I have a few of them, but that's a great idea. That makes things feel chic and sort of classy in a very easy sort of way. Just throwing on a little cap, like a little beret, a little cap can really change the whole feeling of an outfit. And it's just a little hat. It's one of the few hats that I think are timeless. A lot of hats are are not timeless. I don't know, like a cowboy hat? No.
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the art of accessorizing
Unless you are a cowboy, unless you do rodeos and stuff. I don't know. A cowboy hat is not timeless to me. But a beret? Absolutely. Another suggestion, balaclava, detached hood, bonnet, some sort of headwear... in that realm. I have a few of these now and I absolutely love wearing them.
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the art of accessorizing
Because this is how you find accessories that, number one, are going to be a reliable and source of a vibe. So cringe, but it's true.
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the art of accessorizing
Anytime I can, anytime it's cool enough out to wear some sort of headpiece, I'm gonna try to wear some sort of headpiece. In fact, I also would like to collect more of these over the years because I really do think that they can pack a punch when it comes to changing the vibe of an outfit. Adding accessories to the head
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in this way, it's trendy, it's definitely trendy, but I actually think it's timeless. I think you can't go wrong with unique headwear, whether it's something lighter made of perhaps lace or mesh with embroidery on it, or it's like a knit and it has little fuzzy ears.
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the art of accessorizing
I have a little fuzzy knit cat ear sort of bonnet almost, kind of like a balaclava, but it doesn't cover the mouth, so I don't really know what that's called. It's kind of like a detached hood almost. I get compliments every time I wear that thing because everybody's always like, whoa, that's so cool. Like it completely changes the tone of the outfit.
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the art of accessorizing
And I think we tend to overlook head pieces that are not hats. And a lot of us don't like hats. So think outside the box when it comes to accessorizing your head and think of a bonnet or a detached hood or perhaps a balaclava. I think a lot of us too tend to look at socks as like just, okay, I'm just wearing a sock. Like I'm wearing a white sock. I'm wearing a black sock. Add a pop of color.
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the art of accessorizing
This is how you're going to find accessories that you'll gravitate to over and over again that will actually make an impact on your outfit, not just sort of be like, oh, just like a non-interesting pair of glasses that you don't even really like, but you just bought because you're like, well, these are trendy and they're the best ones I found, you know, at this trendy store and like, eh, it's fine, you know?
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the art of accessorizing
Add a pop of texture. You know, socks can be an incredible, incredible accessory. The length of sock can be an accessory. Is it up to the knee? Is it up to the thigh? Is it scrunched? Is it pulled tight? You know, all of these different things. Socks... are not to be ignored. A good sock can change everything.
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the art of accessorizing
The right sock can really pull everything together, which leads me to interesting tights. Whether you choose an interesting color or an interesting texture, tights can be utilized in many different interesting ways. You can wear tights under ripped pants and have the tight show through. That's an interesting thing you could do. Or you could wear tights and wear socks over it, perhaps.
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the art of accessorizing
So now you have like your leg is one texture, but then you also have another texture of the sock and there's this layering happening. That could be very intriguing. You know, tights aren't just for... I guess, keeping your legs warm during the winter. You can utilize tights as another texture and it can be really fun. And there are a lot of interesting tights out there. Like think outside the box.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
There aren't just neutral tights. There are very many interesting tights out there. Also like thin little scarves that you can tie around your neck or head or around your pants or onto your bag. Having a little piece of fabric that you can tie onto things, whether it is on more traditional locations like your neck or your head, but
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
could also be tied onto less traditional locations like your bag or your belt loop or whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
This is a very fun and simple way to add a pop of color or add a bit of texture to an outfit in a way that is virtually not even noticeable to you and can sometimes be functional if you're keeping your ears warm or your neck warm, but can also just be almost like a hack of how to add a pop of color or a pop of texture.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Also an idea that I had recently that I haven't actually tried yet because I haven't found any of these things really. Thrifted slash repurposed utilitarian items. Okay, like a thrifted tool belt or gardening gloves or chef waist apron or whatever. you can use these things as fashionable pieces and they're also useful. You know, like gardening gloves can sometimes be really cool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
They can have like yellow rubber on them and like actually look cool. Wear them as winter gloves one year if it's like not that cold. If it's obviously super cold, you need something a bit warmer, but you get the idea. Take like a vintage chef apron, like waist apron and cut it so it's like maybe a bit more skirt-like and layer that over top clothes. Like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Get creative with, you know, finding functional accessories, perhaps even repurposing these sort of utilitarian workwear items that there's a plethora of in the thrift stores that aren't really being used because a lot of chefs or whatever or people who are like they donated the stuff for a reason because it's not... fully functional anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Well, you can repurpose it and use it as more of a fashion moment. Another idea, add charms to stuff. Collect cool charms. Make charms yourself. I don't care. Charms. Add them to your earrings. Add them to your belt loops. Add them onto your bag. Clip them onto stuff. Charms. But make them personal, okay? Make them personal. hyper specific items that make sense for you. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Like for almost a comical level of convenience. Like for example, if you always lose your house key, make a necklace with like a cool ribbon and tie it around your neck and have your key on your neck all the time. That looks cool actually. Or like if you smoke cigarettes, you shouldn't. but like, I don't know, have like a little lighter key chain or something. Like, do you get what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Or like, oh, you know, this is just like a standard belt and like it's it doesn't really add much. It just is kind of there, but it holds my pants up and it like adds a bit of dimension, I guess. Like, I think accessories are the most impactful when they're chosen really intentionally. And I think for a lot of us, accessories are sort of an afterthought.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
If you constantly have toothpicks in your mouth, find like a little toothpick carrier that you can like attach to your bag. Do you know what I'm saying? Like hyper specific items that make sense for you and your specific lifestyle and like what you would actually need to have available, what you would actually want to have conveniently placed. Think outside the box with it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Truly think about your life and your daily routine and find a way to accessorize it. Does that make sense? Find a way to turn that into an accessory. Even if you write with pens a lot, maybe you start buying cool pens that you actually want to show off and clip them to your bag or clip them to a collared shirt or find a way to accessorize your routine, make your routine an accessory.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
That doesn't make sense, but you get what I mean. And last but not least, clothing toppers. I don't know if that's actually a real term, but I'm actually wearing one right now. There's various different things that you can like throw on top of an outfit that couldn't be worn on their own, but, you know, are pieces that you can routinely throw over different things.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
And they're either mesh or they're lace or they're like a vest that's like open or they're like a waist belt, like a utilitarian sort of waist belt or whatever. These types of toppers that you can throw on top of outfits that add dimension, add texture. Yeah. add character, but are not like pieces of clothing themselves.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
But that also can be worn in a trillion different ways and kind of read differently depending on what they're paired with. These sorts of toppers, they're not things that you necessarily come across all the time, but every once in a while you do. And I think they're great accessories. And they're bordering on clothing, but they are accessories.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Or to me, they're accessories because you couldn't wear them by themselves. you'd have some sort of genitalia revealed, which is not ideal. Even having a sheer lace skirt that's completely sheer that you could throw over other things. These sorts of toppers, layering pieces, I think, are also incredible accessories that read differently.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
They're very versatile in the sense that you can wear them with so many different things and they read differently every time. But they're not clothing because you can't wear them alone. You guys, to be honest, I have to go. I have to go because I have to go to yoga right now. I have a yoga class in 20 minutes and I actually don't know if I'm gonna make it to the class.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
If I don't do this yoga class, I'm gonna be grumpy for the rest of the day. So I love you all. I appreciate you all. Thank you all for listening to this episode. It's always a pleasure getting to speak to you and hang out with you. Anything goes every Thursday and Sunday, anywhere you stream podcast, videos on YouTube and Spotify. I'm on social media at Emma Chamberlain.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
You can find my coffee company at chamberlaincoffee.com or at Chamberlain Coffee. More information on those website and social media locations. I love you all. I appreciate you all. You're the best. And I'm going to go to yoga now. It's kind of pathetic that I'm like, you guys, I have to go to yoga. Oh my God. But it's very LA of me. Okay. I love you all. And I'll talk to you soon. Okay. Bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
And they're actually, honestly, like kind of a technical item, right? Like we wear sunglasses to protect our eyes. We wear belts to hold up our pants. We wear socks to protect our feet from our shoes. Like a lot of our accessories are actually functional. So a lot of times they're afterthoughts and we just buy whatever makes, you know, whatever's right in front of us.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
But there's an opportunity for no more money, but just a little bit more time to make your accessories stronger, right? So like what I mean by strong is there are certain accessories that I personally have in my closet that every time I wear them, the outfit becomes elevated more. times 10, okay? For example, like I have this pair of sunglasses, black sunglasses. They're very simple, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
But they're like wrapped in almost like this leathery material. So they're like black sunglasses, but they're wrapped in this sort of leathery material and they have like white stitching on the side and the shape is kind of sporty, but like they're just super chic and super unique. But they're just a black pair of sunglasses, but they... have a really cool material.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
They're made with a really cool material. The shape is super flattering on me. Like very, very flattering. Always looks good. And every time I wear them, I just look chic. Like I look very fashionable. They're just a fashionable pair of black sunglasses. And listen, there are a bajillion pairs of black sunglasses out there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
But I can't tell you how many times I've been wearing an outfit and I've put those on and it's completed the vibe and taken it to the next level because they're a unique pair of glasses that not only are special because they're made out of a unique material and they have the stitching on the side. They're unusual, but they're also shaped so beautifully for my face.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
And every single time I wear them, not only is it flattering, but it also... sort of gives this vibe of like fashion. There's something very chic and very fashion about them. And so it makes the outfit feel more fashion because the glasses are so chic that now the rest of my outfit reads even more chic because of those glasses.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Another example would be like, you're looking for like the perfect belt. All right. There's so many different belts out there and a lot of them are very similar.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Instead of just buying the first one that you see at the mall, go to like a cool vintage store instead and find one that has like, I don't know, like hand engraved, like little metal clasps or find one that is super worn in and comfortable to wear. Find one that's in sort of a unique color maybe that like actually does match the palette of your outfit, but it's in a unique color.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
But in my head, they're two separate art forms in a way. Some of you might disagree with me about that. Some of you might see that as sort of the same thing, but I don't know. To me, it's a different art form.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
So now every time you add it to an outfit, you're adding another color, another dimension. Like take your time to find something that will actually add intrigue and value and uniqueness to your outfit. Instead of just finding something that's like, eh, well this will do and I'm not really passionate about it and a lot of other people have it or whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Not that it's wrong to have things that other people have. I have plenty of things that a lot of other people have. But I think when it comes to accessorizing, there are infinite accessories out there. There are so many options and there's a lot of opportunity to find things that are unique.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
So take your time and do that because the impact of the perfect accessory that is flattering and unique and perfectly picked out for you and your vibe and your personal sense of style That is so much more impactful when you wear it than something that you just sort of got because it was trendy and it was in front of you. So take your time to find the perfect accessories for your collection.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
My second piece of advice is to make it personalized. I already sort of touched on this, but let me really elaborate, okay? Make it personalized. Accessorizing is cool and makes an outfit more personalized in general, but accessorizing with hyper personal stuff is even cooler. It's taking accessorizing to the next level. Let me give you some examples. Let's say...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Your favorite movie is Harry Potter. Let's say in the I can't remember if Harry Potter actually like wore this or not. I don't know. I don't remember. But like, let's say in the movie, Harry Potter wore a pair of maroon fingerless gloves. It's like a subtle little Easter egg.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
And you've been thinking like, oh, I kind of want to get fingerless gloves for this winter, you know, because it's kind of nice, like and also kind of a cool look. Maybe try to figure out like, oh, Harry Potter wore maroon fingerless gloves. I'm going to get maroon fingerless gloves. Okay. That's an example of making something hyper personal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Another example would be like, let's say you wear the same belt every day. Maybe you spice it up by like painting on it or like putting stickers on it or, you know, like add a personal touch. Maybe you get a baseball cap. Maybe you love wearing baseball caps. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Getting dressed with actual garments, pants, skirts, dresses, jackets, whatever, actual technical clothing items that are the base of the outfit, putting those together in a way that makes sense is its own art form to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Get a baseball cap custom made by like a local artist or something like you can find somebody like an artist to like custom paint or embroider a hat for you or, you know, go on online and find like a vintage baseball cap from like your favorite movie ever or like for your favorite sports team. Like make things as personalized as possible. Yeah.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
And the reason why I like this, the reason why this is a piece of advice is because, number one, it's truly expressing yourself, which I think is something that more recently has been lost from accessorizing. I feel like accessorizing has become very trend focused. Like, what are the trendy accessories?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
You know, oh, it's a New York Yankees hat, even though half the people wearing the New York Yankees hat haven't been to New York and haven't ever watched baseball before. You know what I'm saying? But the New York Yankees hat became a trendy accessory.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Jane Birkening the bag, as we've talked about many, many, many times, where you like add a bunch of charms to your bag, but you're not actually adding charms that mean anything to you. You're just adding charms that you found online for a few bucks, right? And they're somewhat cute, but they're not personal at all. Accessorizing has become trendy, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
And so we've lost the sense of self-expression in that. Wearing a baseball cap, for the town that you grew up in, for the town that you vacationed in every summer as a kid, for your favorite movie, for your favorite sports team, wearing a tote bag for your favorite bookstore, painting on your belt or on your water bottle or whatever. This is what accessorizing is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
It's about doing something that truly... represents you as a person, you know? And listen, there are times when we're going to accessorize a bit more simply, maybe a bit more generic, and it still is an accurate representation of ourselves. Like a good example would be today, as I'm recording this, I'm wearing little striped fingerless gloves.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Because I just, for whatever reason, really love these striped fingerless gloves. They remind me of like Tim Burton movies, which I grew up watching and loving. But they're like... So they are sort of somewhat personal in the sense that they remind me of something. But like from a technical standpoint, it's not like... Like I think I got them from like Brandy Melville. Like... six years ago.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
And I didn't buy them handmade from somebody that I love in my neighborhood or something. They aren't an exact replica of the gloves that were in the movie Coraline from 2008 or whatever year Coraline came out. I should know that because it's my favorite movie. But they remind me of that. They remind me of Coraline. They remind me of Tim Burton movies.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
And I don't know, I just, I love them, but they're not like the most personal item in the world. I think there are probably many people who have these gloves and that's okay because they still feel personal to me in one way or another. Anyway, going back to why I think this is important, because I think what makes an accessory timeless is its personalization, is the fact that it's unique to you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
It's the art form of sort of taking a silhouette of a pant or a skirt and balancing it with a silhouette in a color or whatever of the top and, you know, paying attention to the textiles and what looks good together and, you know, creating sort of a color palette, like a base color palette. But I feel like the most important thing
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
I mean, obviously, simple accessories like a plain black leather belt with silver hardware, that will never go out of style, ever. That is a classic item, and that's great. But what truly makes an accessory timeless is the fact that it's yours. It's your thing. It's personal to you in one way or another.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
whether it's because you wear it all the time and it's your signature item or because it, you know, maybe was a hand-me-down from a loved one or it was something that, you know, was custom made or, you know, specifically selected because it represents something about you, whether it's like something that you like or something that directly sort of represents your personality, whatever it may be, you know, that's what makes accessories timeless, accessories that you'll go back to time and time again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
if they mean something to you. And again, it's such a shame that this is a lost art because I think when it comes to accessorizing across the board, fashion and otherwise, this is what makes accessories worth the purchase. This is what makes having five purses instead of 10 purses satisfying. This is what makes having two belts instead of 15 belts satisfying.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
And I know a lot of people are like, Emma, don't tell us. like about quality over quantity. You have a lot of clothes. Even after you donated like 90% of your closet, you still have a lot of clothes. Yes, I know. But I've learned. Let a girl learn, okay? And this is what I've learned.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Okay, my next piece of advice, I already kind of touched on this a little bit, but I would recommend buying as many of your accessories as you can from places that sell things not on a trend cycle, okay? So like that would be like... vintage stores, thrift stores, resale websites, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
Boutiques, like small handmade boutiques, artists who make, you know, hyper-specific items online or in, again, like in boutiques at flea markets. Like, when it comes to finding accessories...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the art of accessorizing
I think it can be obvious to us and easy to us to just go to like the places that we know to go to that make popular accessories, whether that's a designer brand who makes designer bags and designer belts or it's, you know, a popular trendy store that sells maybe more affordable bags and stuff and it's, you know, trendy and we know it's on trend because they're selling it and everything that they sell is on trend.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
This past weekend, I found myself in a little bit of a dilemma. Okay, let me paint the picture for you. So the week leading up to last weekend was really busy. I had a lot of work to get done. And I'll be honest, I only got about 50% of it done. So that left me on Friday evening, incredibly stressed, incredibly stressed, knowing that I'd have to work over the weekend.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
There can be too much of anything and that is usually bad. So that leads me to the cons of selfishness, starting with potentially risking deeper relationships with others because it's hard to dedicate time to others when you are so focused on your own needs and Like, you know, if you're sort of in an era of selfishness, you know, you have a lot of stuff you want to achieve.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
There's a lot of work you want to do on yourself. You can get really wrapped up in that to the point where you're isolating yourself, right? Or you're only hanging out with your loved ones when it somehow benefits you, right? And that can be damaging to relationships, right? And at the end of the day, other people are really important. You know, again...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
It is true, I mentioned this at the beginning of the episode, but if you're really selfish with your time and you become really successful and you're the healthiest version of yourself and everything is going great, but you're alone, kind of doesn't matter. Like, life is fun because of other people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And all the work that you've been selfishly doing will not be as rewarding if you don't have good relationships in your life. And so... I don't know. I mean, that's definitely a huge risk of being too selfish. Another con would be, I think if you're too selfish, life can lack purpose because when you're too focused on yourself, weirdly, life just feels less fulfilling.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I think our purpose a lot of times is helping others and making the world a better place in some way. Obviously, in order to do that, you do have to be to an extent selfish, because you have to be, you have to work on yourself and become a good person who has the energy and the time to do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And in order to do that, you have to be selfish with your time so that then you have some free time to then go and help others. And you have the energy because you're not, you know, you don't have that nagging feeling of like, oh, I need to be helping myself. So you can truly go and help others. So it's complicated, right? Because it's like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
In order to help others, you do to an extent need to help yourself. But if you're too selfish, then you'll find that your life completely lacks purpose because you're not involved in your community. You're not helping others. You're not fostering deeper relationships through sacrificing your time and effort towards others. You know, it's very complicated.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
But being too selfish will lead to, I think, a less fulfilling life. I have found that some of my most depressing eras of my life were shockingly selfish. I think some of my most depressed phases consisted of me only thinking of myself and what I was working on. And it made me the center of the universe itself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
in a way that sort of caused me to lose perspective about the bigger picture in the world. There's something about being around other people, helping out other people, helping them reach their goals that weirdly puts everything into perspective. You realize, oh, there's a bigger picture here. You know, my purpose is... actually also to help others.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
You know, other people have goals that they're trying to reach. And I don't know, it makes your own circumstances feel less extreme in a way. And there's something actually beautiful about that and peaceful about that. which leads to a more fulfilling life in a way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I don't know, I'm not explaining this very well, but I almost feel like there's a certain amount of energy that we need to dedicate to ourselves, but the rest of our energy needs to go out into the world. And if we take that portion of our energy that we should be putting out towards the world and we're selfish with it and we put it towards ourself,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
neglect these loved ones and not spend quality time with them? Or do I neglect my work and what will ultimately make me feel probably best? Because being ahead in my work life makes me feel really good. Like when I'm ahead... I'm just peaceful. And on top of that, I'm more fun to be around because I'm not stressed. So do I neglect my work, potentially be in a bad mood, at least internally?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
It's almost like that energy that we were supposed to be putting out towards the world, when put towards ourself, it hurts us because it's too much energy. We already have a certain amount of energy that we allot towards ourselves, that we should allot towards ourselves. And if we add any more, it becomes like too much energy, almost like our body is filled with energy, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
We put energy towards ourselves. And it goes inside of our body. And it's almost like if we put the healthy amount of energy towards ourselves, then everything feels comfortable and good. But if we put too much energy towards ourselves, it's almost like all that energy is bubbling up inside of us, you know, moving around, shaking around, vibrating around, and it hurts. It's uncomfortable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
It injures us in a way. That's how I feel about being too selfish. being too self-centered and not helping others distributing our energy, right? I think not only does it hurt us, but it also makes our lives less fulfilling. So it's just overall messy. So that's sort of my analysis on selfishness. Let's move on to my analysis of selflessness.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Hotels.com. I love to travel, and I love staying at hotels. There's nothing I love more than walking into a fresh, clean hotel room and just absolutely exploding in it, okay? Putting all my skincare in the bathroom, hanging all my clothes up in the closet, and really making myself feel at home.
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selfish and selfless
I also love going down in the morning for a buffet breakfast. But booking the right hotel can be hard work if you don't know where to look. Whether I'm traveling for work or for fun, I'm always looking for the best hacks and perks. And if you're like me, let me tell you, the easiest way to book is with Hotels.com. Members save up to 20% and earn rewards on every stay.
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In the money I save on the hotel, I can spend on going out to dinner, maybe doing a little bit of shopping at the hotel gift shop. You know what I mean? This could be you if you sign up at Hotels.com. Become a member for free and save on hundreds of thousands of hotels at Hotels.com. Now, let's get back to the episode. Let's discuss the pros and the cons, starting with the pros.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Obviously, if you're selfless, you're taking one for the team, helping your friend move, helping them paint their bathroom, helping them organize their makeup drawer. Going and seeing a movie with them that you don't really want to see, but they really want to see, you're naturally going to form a deeper sense of community in this world.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
By helping others, by being present for others, naturally you'll develop deeper relationships naturally. And I think through that, you'll have a more positive view of the world.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
When you're constantly helping others and involving yourself in your community, whether that's intimately with your loved ones and helping them out or going to the shitty movie with them, or taking the time to help somebody put their groceries in their car when they're struggling, even though you know you want to get home and you want to get back to work on something, but this person's struggling and you do it anyway.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And leading a selfless life in this way not only is fulfilling for you because helping others just for some reason feels really good, but also other people will want to help you. And this sense of community, I think, really restores a faith in humanity, which I think is important for people now more than ever because I think... There's a lot of division.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I think because of the internet especially, there's a lot of tension and division and everyone's hating on each other and everyone's fighting and all this all the time. There's always drama, you know? And I think it's really important to reenter the real world and realize, oh wait, it's actually really beautiful out here.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And we actually do have each other's backs more than we think we do, you know? I also think, too, that in order to build relationships that reach maximum bond potential, you have to make sacrifices for each other. You know, you have to be selfless in the relationship. Otherwise, you won't be able to fully unlock a deep bond, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Like, we all have those friendships where our friend only reaches out to us when they need something. And when we need something, it's like, oh, I can't buy. Those types of relationships are never the deepest ones. It's the ones where both people are willing to be selfless. Those are the deepest relationships. Those are the most meaningful relationships.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I try not to show that on the outside, but at least internally. but get to spend quality time with my loved ones and make them feel loved and seen and appreciated by me hanging out with them. This sort of dilemma really brought to my attention how truly challenging it is at times to choose between selfishness and selflessness. And there's absolutely no perfect piece of advice
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And so I think to have the deepest relationships possible in life, you need to be somewhat selfless in those relationships. Obviously, we can't be selfless all the time, but there needs to be a strong element of selflessness in those relationships. I mentioned this earlier, but another pro of selflessness is a deeper sense of purpose and a strong sense of fulfillment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I think humans feel their best when in some way they're being selfless with the world. You know, they're doing a service to someone. And it doesn't necessarily need to be huge. You know, like there's so many different ways that you can be selfless. It might be a lifestyle where you do little acts of selflessness all the time. You're really selfless in your personal relationships.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
You might have a bigger, greater cause where maybe, you know, you are involved in certain charities or, you know, maybe you started a charity like it. It's different for everyone and there's no wrong answer, right? But it all is in one way or another selfless. And so without that, it's really hard to find purpose. And people say this a lot and it sounds cliche, but it's so true.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
It's like, you're not gonna find fulfillment in purpose through money or fame or having a hot significant other or having a lot of friends or being invited to all the parties. That can be fun and that can feel good. I don't think it's wrong to strive for those things, but that's not where the purpose and the fulfillment come from. That truly comes from what we do for others in a way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And so if we're not selfless in our lives, we're not gonna experience, I don't think, true fulfillment. And again, I mentioned this earlier as well, but another pro of selflessness is it sort of takes the attention off of yourself in a positive way. When we're the center of our own universe, when we're putting all of our energy towards ourselves, it's not good. It's not good for us.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
It turns toxic quick. So to put our energy towards others, to be selfless, is to distribute our energy in a healthy way. And it gives us perspective as well, right? When all we see is ourselves, when all we think about is ourselves, you don't have an accurate perspective on the world, and that's not good either.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Now let's discuss the cons of selflessness, which I've experienced in a big way because for so many years I was such a people pleaser. I mean, dark time. Not good. I don't miss it at all. Being a people pleaser absolutely sucks. And I think being too selfless in a way is being a people pleaser. you want to do everything for everyone all the time to the point where you don't care about yourself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Or it's not even that you don't care about yourself, but... you're not high enough on your list of priorities to say, you know what? No, I can't hang out. You know what? No, I can't help you with this thing. And I think this is sort of a misconception. Like, I think a lot of people assume that there's no such thing as being too selfless. You know, that's the ultimate act of good, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
To be selfless. It's like, how could that ever be bad? But I really do think it can be bad. I think there are quite a few cons. So let's get into them. To start, we can neglect ourselves in a way that prevents us from reaching our full potential, which is such a shame. We all have goals we want to reach. And to not give ourselves the time to reach those goals is truly a shame.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
We deserve to give ourselves ample time and effort to reach our goals in our lives. And so... to spend all of your time on others might mean to not reach your own goals. And that's not, I don't think anyone wants that. And by the way, I don't think the people in your life want that, right? For the most part, we all want each other to succeed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
You know, there's a bit of jealousy floating around on this planet. Actually, there's quite a bit. But for the most part, we all want each other to succeed. And I think when we've taken selflessness too far... We end up sacrificing our own goals for others and they wouldn't even want us to do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Like if we told them like, oh, you know, I really should spend time today working on this art project I've been meaning to work on. I want to do like a gallery show one day and like, you know, I really should work on that this weekend. I'm sorry, I can't hang out. Like most people would be like, go off. Like, don't hang out with me. Go do that. Most people don't care.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
They want us all to do what we got to do. So it's unnecessary and harmful in multiple ways. Another con of being too selfless is, you know, you can become a people pleaser where you just say yes to everyone and you have no spine. And you know what that leads to? Funny enough, Relationships where you're not respected.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And I'm not saying that in a way that's degrading to the people pleaser or degrading to the person who's subconsciously disrespecting and kind of taking advantage of the people pleaser. It's like the way that we develop respect for each other is through a bit of tension, a bit of conflict, right? When someone says, no, you know what? I can't hang out today because I need to work on this thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
for this sort of dilemma. There's no answer. You know, I feel like there's a lot of conflicting advice out there about whether to be selfish or selfless. And there's not a lot of advice on how to figure out when to do which. Like, I feel like I see advice all the time online about how you have to be selfish, prioritize yourself, you know, help yourself before you help others.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Subconsciously, when someone has said no to, they're like, oh shit, you know, they prioritize their personal lives. I respect that. When someone stands up for themselves and says, hey, you know what? I know you're having a bad day, but, you know, I can't put up with this type of behavior, you know? I mean, that's not even necessarily being selfish.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Like, standing up for yourself I don't think is selfish. But arguably the selfless thing to do when somebody's having a hard day and they're taking it out on you would be to just, like, take it, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
and not make their day any more uncomfortable right but I don't know I mean I don't know if this is considered truly selfless to like like just to take it like take bad treatment but we'll use it as an example anyway you know standing up for yourself and saying like hey you can't talk to me like that I know you've had a bad day but you still can't talk to me like that that subconsciously builds respect in the other person for you because you stood up for yourself you
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
We don't want to be yes men. We want to have a spine. We want to be our own individuals in relationships, have our own opinions, have our own preferences, have our own schedules, have our own priorities. And if those are dictated by others, because we just say yes to everything. then yeah, it's like, why would others respect us fully, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Because we're just kind of a parrot of whatever they say or do, you know what I mean? And so I think by being too selfless, you know, you end up in relationships where there isn't really a mutual respect, there isn't really a mutual sense of effort, and there's not like a healthy balance in relationships. I mentioned this earlier but another con of selflessness is potentially building resentment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
If you're too selfless and you don't dedicate any time to being selfish, you'll end up building resentment towards your loved ones and towards the world, right? Because you are neglected. And neglect leads to negative emotions, right? So naturally, if you're not being selfish enough, you're going to resent the people who are taking that time away from you in your eyes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And that leads to withering friendships and relationships. That leads to a negative... perspective on the world, and none of that is good. And last but not least, I really do think that being too selfless can lead to mental instability. Personally, I require certain things to keep myself mentally stable, right? I need time to recharge alone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I need time to do activities that are truly fun and enjoyable for me. I need time to get my work done so that I feel ahead. I need time to exercise. There are things that I need to do to be mentally stable. And if I am too selfless and I neglect those things that I need, I end up mentally unstable. I end up depressed, anxious.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
irritable because all of my time was spent catering to others and I was left in the dust and I don't have any time to do the stuff that recharges me. It's so important to... I think in order to recharge, a lot of times we need to be selfish. There's very specific things that recharge us all as individuals and only we know what those things are. And
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
That's how you reach your ultimate potential. That's how you're able to help others. You know, if you're selfish... for the most part, then you'll naturally want to be selfless in a way. Being selfish is important and we should all be selfish. But then I also hear advice that's like, we should lead a selfless life for ultimate fulfillment and purpose, doing things for ourselves all the time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
We have to make sure that we participate in those recharging activities. Otherwise, we'll end up unstable. And that is not a good vibe. So how does one find a balance? You know... I really think it comes down to long-term fulfillment, not short-term emotions, but long-term fulfillment. What decision is going to make life more fulfilling down the line?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
You know, what's going to create sustained fulfillment? in a dilemma of, should I be selfish with my time right now? Should I be selfless? Ask yourself, which one of these activities is more important to participate in for my long-term fulfillment, right? I vaguely mentioned this earlier, but I am very aware of what I need to feel fulfilled.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I need deep, loving relationships with mutual feelings and effort involved. I need to have a strong work ethic and I need to do work that I'm proud of. I need to do things that make me feel physically good. Like exercise is really important to me. Making time to exercise.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Like, you know, I do like a one hour walk every night and I like to go to yoga classes and it's like I have these things that are time consuming. that make me feel physically good, which actually does make me feel fulfilled. But the same thing goes for eating healthy foods that don't hurt my tummy, that energize me for my exercise. That is very important for me. That's very fulfilling.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And that's something I try not to do because... I try to maintain a level of work-life balance. And in theory, I'm my own boss and I can take time off whenever I want, which is an absolute luxury. But I do hold myself to a certain standard. And so there are times when I have to work on the weekends, whether it's because there's deadlines or because I didn't meet my own expectations.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I need to consistently be doing creative activities and hobbies. I need to make sure in my schedule, I have time to do a watercolor. I have time to sit down at my sewing machine and sew something. I have time to like use my button maker and make a little pin button or something. You know, I have time to play my guitar.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I have time to go to a fabric store and like, you know, I have time to do these creative tasks regularly. But also I have time to relax and rest. Relaxation and resting really is crucial for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I need time to lay in bed and stare at the ceiling because not only is that how I come up with ideas for things, work-related, problem-solving-related, whatever, but also because it feels good and it's peaceful and it leads to a fulfilling life for me. Like having those moments... Without that, my life is not as fulfilling as it could be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Having fun, you know, going out to dinner, going on a road trip with friends, doing stuff that's just simply fun is so important to me. Making memories.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And last but not least, helping others as often as I can, whether it's like, okay, I'm making a podcast, I'm telling a story about something that is maybe sort of comforting to others or, you know, is sort of a healthy form of distraction for them, you know, maybe while they're driving or on a walk or whatever, like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
you know, maybe it's something like that or it's helping my community in some way, whether it's like direct or indirect, like helping a random person who like was walking in their heels and they tripped and their stuff went all over the floor and I'm helping them. That is also very important to me and is important for me in having a fulfilling life. So I know what I need to lead a fulfilling life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And I think moving forward when I'm faced with these dilemmas, I'm going to choose the route that feels most neglected, you know? So like in the case of last weekend, right, where I had to choose between working and getting ahead and feeling less stress as a result or spending quality time with my loved ones.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I ultimately decided to spend quality time with my loved ones because I've dedicated a lot of time to work over the last few months. And I wouldn't say that my relationships have suffered necessarily, but I haven't spent as much time with my loved ones as maybe I could have just because I've been so busy. And they've been so busy as well, but like I've been so busy and I've been really focused.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And I think, you know, my ultimate conclusion was I have already put enough of my effort towards the work portion of my life. My relationships have not gotten nearly as much attention. I should probably choose that. And so I guess that's sort of the answer then. It's less about being selfish versus selfless and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
leads us to a life of isolation. And, you know, it's like you can be successful and rich and famous and all of this because you were selfish and you worked hard on yourself. But at the end of that road, because you've been selfish, you have no one there to enjoy it with. We must be selfless in this life. And it's like, OK, which is it then?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
and more about having a list of things that can fall under the category of selfless or selfish that make you ultimately fulfilled in your life. And being aware of what those things are so that you can make educated choices on what to do with your time based on what's getting neglected, what's not. Let's go through some examples, actually. Maybe this will help further explain my point.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Okay, let me think of an example. Let's say I'm choosing between going to a workout class or getting coffee with a friend. I might ask myself then, how often do I see this friend? How much am I craving this workout class? How much do I need it? Sometimes there's nothing more... that I need than just like to go to a workout class and sweat and be distracted. Like sometimes that's just what I need.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Maybe because I haven't worked out in a bit or because I'm just stressed and I want to blow off steam. And depending on what the answers to those questions are, you know, if I hang out with that friend a lot, I see that friend multiple times a week. Okay. I think it's okay to be like, you know what? I can't do coffee this week. I have to go to this. I just, I have to go to this workout class.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Like you can come with me if you want, but like, I just, I need to do this workout class. On the other hand, if you go to that workout class every day and you see your friend once every six months, yeah, you should go and see the friend. Another example. Let's say someone's choosing between going on a date with their significant other or... Dedicating the weekend to a personal project.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
What questions should this person ask to themselves? How strong is their romantic relationship right now? Are they kind of on the rocks? Are things kind of uncomfortable or are things incredible? And they are spending a lot of time together and everything's going delightfully. How important is this personal project? Is it possible to work on the project and go on this date?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
You know, why does this personal project need to be worked on at the same time that the date would be happening? And depending on the answer, this person should act accordingly. This person is fictional. They do not exist. But I think if the answer is...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
the relationship's on the rocks and I'd much rather just work on this project just so that I don't have to face my struggling relationship, you need to go on the date. You know what I mean? Or you need to have a conversation and break up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
On the other hand, if things are going really beautifully in your relationship and amazing and you don't have any other time to work on this project, work on the project. I think your significant other will understand it. One more example. Let's say you have a weekend off and you have nothing on the schedule, okay? You can do anything with your time, right? You have a full weekend off.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And you're choosing between spending the weekend at home, watching movies, eating, relaxing, maybe sitting by the pool, if you have a pool, like that vibe, or... volunteering at an animal shelter. Okay. This person should ask themselves, okay, how long has it been since I had a full weekend to just chill at home?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
They should also ask themselves, when was the last time I did something for my community? Whether it's casually helping somebody in public randomly or helping a friend with something or volunteering or whatever? When was the last time I helped somebody? And let's say the answer to the first question is, I had a weekend like this last weekend, actually. Okay, maybe then you should volunteer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And obviously, you know, we need to be a little bit of both. We need to be a little bit selfish and, you know, a little bit selfless. We need to have, well, I guess we need to be 50-50. Or maybe it's not a 50-50 split. Maybe it's 30-70. I don't know. But like, we obviously need to have both. But in moments like last weekend, I was overwhelmed with this dilemma.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Let's say the answer is, I haven't had a weekend like this in a year. It's been a year since I've had a weekend like this. I'd feel really good if I went and helped others you know, with my time, but at the same time, like I would just love to have a weekend to fully chill. That's okay. It's not wrong to like just chill sometimes. Fair enough.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
But if the answer to the question, when was the last time you volunteered or helped somebody out or whatever is like, Ooh, it's been, I don't even know. Okay. Maybe then you could sacrifice a few hours of your weekend off to go be helpful out there in this world, you know, uh, go volunteer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
But if the answer is I helped somebody yesterday and I volunteered two months ago, it's like, okay, then you're fine. You know what I mean? It's tough. It's tough. I have a feeling I'll experience this dilemma again, but You know, I think through this conversation, I learned a lot and hopefully next time I'll have less of a mental breakdown about it. Anyway, that's it for today. That's all I got.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
That's all she wrote. If you enjoyed it, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Listen anywhere, watch on YouTube and Spotify. Anything Goes is everywhere on the internet at Anything Goes. I'm everywhere on the internet at Emma Chamberlain and my coffee company is everywhere at at Chamberlain Coffee. It's called Chamberlain Coffee. Check it out. I love you all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
All right. I love you all. And I'll talk to you in a few days. Bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I could not choose because both seemed equally important to me. You know, like getting ahead on work I knew would make me feel good. But, you know, spending time with my loved ones is incredibly important to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And I get to spend a good amount of time with my loved ones, but I have to be really intentional about making sure that it happens because everyone's busy and, you know, quality time is kind of scarce. I don't know. It's like, so, oh my God.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I literally it's ironic because it's like I was already stressed like oh my god I have so much to do but then this dilemma of do I go and hang out or do I stay and I work it was so overwhelming for me that I couldn't do anything like I couldn't even finish my work on Friday because I was so consumed by this dilemma and.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And I ultimately decided to be selfless, if you will, and go and hang out with my loved ones. And I say that hanging out with my loved ones is selfish in this context because the activities that my loved ones brought up for me to do... were more like catering to their interests or their lives. Does that make sense? Which is, by the way, totally fine. I love doing those things.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I have, there's nothing, like I'm not against that. I'm not like... But do you get what I'm saying, though? It's like it wasn't like, oh, this is our favorite coffee shop or this is a movie that we both really wanted to see. Or this is our favorite clothing store to browse around in. Or this is a cocktail event that we were both invited to that we both are going to attend.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
It was like very specific things that were more so for them. And I was then just going to attend with them as like support and to just be there for morale and to hang out. which on a normal day would be not a selfless act at all. I would actually want to do that stuff.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I enjoy doing that stuff with my loved ones, but it felt more like the selfless option in this scenario because these are not necessarily activities that I am super excited to do or that necessarily like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
recharge me does that make sense like there are certain activities that recharge me and those are things that I really deeply enjoy doing and then there are activities that are maybe less recharging but they're more of like oh I just you know I'm down to like be there because my my loved ones want to do it you know what I'm saying
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And that can actually be recharging at times, but only if I'm not stressed. I'm not behind on shit. You know what I mean? So I did ultimately end up choosing to go and spend time with my loved ones. I have absolutely no regrets at all. I ended up having a great time. I was able to manage my stress and just kind of leave it at the door, if you will. And And everything turned out great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
But it was so overwhelming to choose. And I had immense guilt in the process of deciding this. I feared that by going and hanging out with my loved ones, I was neglecting myself. And that I was then going to suffer for that. And I've spent many years being a yes man, saying yes to everything. And I've come a long way. And so I was like, am I regressing? Like, am I going back to square one?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
You know, it happens. And so Friday evening, I knew, OK, this weekend I'm going to have to work. And that's totally fine. But it's a little bit of a bummer, but it's only fine. But it'll make me feel good to do that. Right. Ultimately, the decision to work on the weekend was for me to make me feel good, because when I'm ahead.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Because I feel like I'm neglecting my own needs to go spend time with people, which I love these people. And I want, I love spending time with them, but like, this is just the wrong time. But at the same time, these people really want me to be present for these activities. And like, I get it. Like I would, if the roles were reversed, I would want them to be there with me, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
So I was like, oh, so that's also what I felt guilty about. I was like, if the roles were reversed, I would want them to be present for me for these activities, even though it's not necessarily something that they maybe love to do or is like, Do you know what I'm saying? It was really overwhelming for me. And after the fact, it just left me thinking a lot about selflessness versus selfishness.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And I've been thinking about it a lot because I want to prevent the dilemma from happening again. And if I have a better understanding of like how to decide, then it won't happen again. And so that's what I thought we'd do together today, investigate selflessness and selfishness, and through that, figure out potentially how to find a balance. So let's start out by discussing selfishness, actually.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Let's discuss the pros and the cons, from my personal experience, anyway. I would say the pros of selfishness would be, number one, you're able to dedicate your time to you, in theory, leading you to max productivity in your career in self-development. I think we all want to reach our maximum potential, right? For a multitude of reasons.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Number one, because it builds our self-confidence and self-esteem. Number two, because... That's sort of our purpose on this earth is to, I don't know, be the best people we can be in every single category, right? Work as hard as we can at work. Take as great of care of ourselves as we can physically.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Work on ourselves emotionally as much as possible so we can be as emotionally intelligent as possible. All of these things. That's all of our goals, I think, for the I really do think that in order to get there you do have to be selfish at times. you know, because this stuff takes a lot of time. This stuff takes some sacrifice.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And it might mean not being able to help your friend move because you're working or not being able to grab coffee with your friend because you have a workout class like and you want to take care of your body, like whatever it is. Sometimes reaching your ultimate potential requires selfishness. And I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Another pro would be full autonomy over your time. Your life is truly what you want it to be through selfishness at times. You know, nobody's telling you how to live your life if you have a bit of selfishness. I, for many years, was a yes man. And anytime anyone would ask me to hang out, my answer was yes. I would cancel my own life to make time for other people's lives.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And that was a huge problem because I didn't feel like I had autonomy over my life. I felt like, you know, my schedule was not up to me. It was up to whoever texted me and asked me to hang out or whatever. whatever event invited me to go.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
and I'm not constantly being chased by deadlines, I feel good, I feel happy. And so me working last weekend wasn't necessarily mandatory because it wasn't like, oh, if I don't work this weekend, I'm not gonna meet certain deadlines. It was more like, I wanna work this weekend so I can have a comfortable buffer between my deadlines. So that's how I was feeling on Friday evening. And then...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I said yes to everything to the point where it was like I would put something down on my schedule for me like, oh, I'm gonna go to this workout class or oh, I'm gonna work on editing this YouTube video. And I deep down always knew like, oh, that might not end up working out because something else might come up and I'm just gonna probably have to do it. And this was miserable for me, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Because number one, I definitely wasn't reaching my maximum potential. Number two, I felt out of control of my life. I was like, you know, I don't have control over my schedule. I don't have control over what I do with my time. It felt horrible. It felt chaotic, right? And last but not least, it sort of started to, you know, form levels of resentment and frustration towards others, which...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
is in some ways sort of irrational because it's like, you know, people inviting me to stuff, you know, companies inviting me to events, like whatever that is optional, you know, like an invite is not a demand. It was up to me to say, you know what? I can't, I'm so sorry. I appreciate the invite, but I can't, but I couldn't do that because it made me uncomfortable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
But unfortunately, I eventually started to build resentment towards others because I felt like everybody was getting in the way of me living my life, but I was getting in the way of me living my life, you know? And so moral of the story is... There's a lot of beauty in having full autonomy over your schedule and time in life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And I think, you know, only through selfishness really can you achieve that. Another pro, I think there's sort of a sense of peace that comes with a level of selfishness. If you're selfless to a fault... you might stretch yourself too thin.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
If you say yes to everyone, if you help everyone all the time, if you are dedicating all of your time to others and none to yourself, you're going to find yourself exhausted. And as I mentioned earlier, resentful as well. There is a sense of peace that comes with...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
not stretching yourself too thin, you know, being a bit selfish, prioritizing your needs and balancing those with others' needs, it's ultimately a relief from people pleasing. I used to feel stretched so thin because I was a people pleaser. I said yes to everything people invited me to, but also I was constantly available, always responding to texts, always available.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And that made me feel constantly fatigued, constantly exhausted. And it was a bit miserable. And again, I used this word earlier, chaotic. There's peace that comes with selfishness because you choose what you do with your time. You choose what energy you let in. All of this is really kind of a beautiful thing. And the last pro for selfishness that I can think of would be
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
Selfishness can actually inspire selflessness, right? This is something that I think is like widely known, but I've personally experienced it as well. When I'm truly selfish with a decent portion of my time and I use it wisely to get work done, have some peaceful time alone, exercise, cook healthy meals, like all these things. When I am selfish with my time and I use it wisely,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
it makes my moments where I don't have anything to do so much more inspired. I want to go out and I want to help people. I want to help my friend move. I want to sit with my friend who just went through a breakup for six hours and talk about what they're going through. I want to help my mom paint her kitchen. You know what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I want to do selfless stuff when I've been really selfish and thoughtful with my own time. It makes it so that I have the capacity to help others because I don't feel this sort of nagging to help myself. Does that make sense? But, you know, as with all things that are positive, there are also negatives. And I think selfishness can be a really harmful thing as well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And I actually feel like that's normally how we discuss selfishness. I feel like Growing up when I was a kid, everybody talked about selfishness in a negative light. And then I got older and the narrative sort of shifted and it was like, no, no, no, we're selfish now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
And that does feel like a very, you know, Gen Z sort of thing of being like, no, we're not all angels helping everyone all the time. That's unrealistic and unnecessary. And like, it's like idealistic and it's not, it's not realistic, right? Reality is we do need to be selfish. And I think it's true to an extent. But again, too much of anything is usually bad. Well, it is bad because it's too much.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
selfish and selfless
I get a text from two separate loved ones, okay? I'm not saying like a group chat was made and they both texted me and asked me to hang out. No. Two of my loved ones separately asked me to hang out. And I deeply adore these people, okay? But I was faced with this sort of dilemma. Do I choose to be selfish and work and get stuff done and make myself feel good? But potentially...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I am fully in the middle of an allergy attack right now. I sat down to record like 20 minutes ago and immediately started sneezing uncontrollably, sneezing over and over and over again. And after like 60 sneezes, I was like, I have to do something. So I took my allergy pill earlier than normal because I do have seasonal allergies.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I really want to date and I kind of low key am dating my ex-boyfriend's best friend. I'm scared of what other people might think. What do I do? You're not asking me like, how do I make this official? You know, whatever. You're asking me, what do I do? Because I'm afraid of what other people might think. Why are you afraid of what other people might think?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Why are we ever afraid of what other people might think? Well, I mean, it's a very normal human thing. But what I've noticed, at least in myself and my loved ones, is we tend to be self-conscious when we deep down are insecure about something or we know it's wrong or we know it's bad. You know what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Like, I tend to be self-conscious about things that warrant, or not warrant, I shouldn't say warrant, but I don't think I'm irrationally self-conscious. And people would say, no, Emma, like, don't be self-conscious about that. Like, that's, it's totally fine. I think usually when I'm self-conscious about something, it's because... It's actually rational and valid.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
It's like, no, you know, that isn't ideal. That isn't great. Whatever. I don't know. So you're scared of what people might think because you deep down know that it feels wrong. It feels wrong to you. It goes against your moral compass. That is why you're worried about what other people might think.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
If you felt confident in the fact that dating this person was like the right thing to do in your life, if you could, you'd be putting it up on billboards, you know what I'm saying? Because you'd be so excited. You know that this isn't quite right. Something about it isn't sitting right with you, okay? And so now you're faced with a choice.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Option number one is to find confidence in your choice because you love this boy. You truly want to be with him and you aren't doing anything terribly wrong and neither is he. Or you can honor your feelings of discomfort and moral hesitation and cut things off and just deal with the heartbreak and find someone else. you'll find someone else.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
But I think that that's sort of the choice that you have to make, you know? Next, somebody said, I have a weird 60-year-old math teacher that calls me baby. What do I do? Let's go ahead and talk to the school counselor about that one instead of asking a podcaster that didn't even finish high school and definitely didn't go to college. This is something to talk about with the school counselor.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And I give you my unprofessional advice. And today's topic is how to face moral dilemmas. Okay. We're faced with them every day. We're faced with them every day. The moral dilemma is always a little different. It feels like, you know, we rarely get the same one twice. But every time, we're forced to find the best way forward. And it's not easy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
This is something to talk about with your therapist. This is not something to discuss with me. However, I'll still give you advice on what I would do if I was in this situation. I guess I'm not going to give you advice because I think the only advice that I can give in good faith is go talk to the administration at your school. Go talk to the school therapist. Go talk to the principal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Go talk to somebody and say, this is a little bit weird. I don't think it's professional. It's making me a little bit uncomfortable. this teacher's a little bit eccentric, just wanted to put it on your radar and let you know. That is obviously the right thing to do. However, if I was in this situation, this is what I would do. And I'm not saying that this is right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I'm just saying that this is exactly what I would do. And again, I'm not saying it's right, okay? Because I think going to the principal or going to the school counselor or going to administration, that's obviously the right thing to do. However, knowing myself in high school would have handled things differently.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I feel like what I would have done is, because I was kind of, I wasn't like a troublemaker or anything, but I did sometimes have a little bit of an attitude for some reason. Yeah. But I also, like, I also don't want to demonize somebody or, like, if they genuinely are not meaning any harm, right? I don't want to get someone in trouble just because they're weird or, like, whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And I'm not saying, it's not okay to be calling you baby, okay? That's weird, right? However, if this is some sort of, like, 60-year-old Italian man that's like, come on, baby, you know this. Like, if that's how he's saying baby, it's like, it's very clearly not... in a sexual, like it's not sexual. It's not inappropriate necessarily. Like it's, I mean, it's still, you know, it's not ideal, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You know, he probably shouldn't be calling you baby, but if it's in that way, like to me, it's not dangerous. It's not as dangerous, right? It's just maybe a bad practice. And so how I might've handled it when I was in high school is I'd be like after class or something, or like when he called me baby, I'd be like, You know, you're going to get in trouble one of these days.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You can't be calling people that. I would just check him on his shit in person. Is that the right way to handle it? No, you should go to administration. But that's probably what I would have done. I would have given him a chance in a way and been like, you can't say that. And he would have been like, what do you mean? I've been saying this for generations. I'm Italian. By the way, I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I just think of like a really like warm Italian like grandfather vibe when I think of somebody like calling you baby in a way that's like not sexual and harmless. Like that's what I think of. And if that's the case, great, because that's not truly harmful. It's still not, you know, maybe OK, but it's not dangerous. Do you know what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And so I would check him in person just because I think, too, like if that's the case and if you know, if you can be of help and be like, hey, we don't say that. Right. Let's not say that. Right. And here's why, you know, if we can do that, great. Again, at school, I still, I do think it's best to run it by the administration, but that's how I would have handled it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And then if he continued doing it and it was making me uncomfortable, still, I would say, you know what, enough's enough. And I'd go and I would have told administration. But I probably would have done the confronting myself first. But I don't think that works for everybody. And I don't think it has to. In a school environment, it is supposed to be one of the safest environments.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
So if someone's doing some weird shit, you got to report it. You got to report it. Okay, moving on. How to tell your roommate that you're moving in with your boyfriend next year. I don't want to put her in a bad spot, but I need to move forward with my life. I feel bad. Well, to start, there's absolutely nothing to feel bad about. You are doing nothing wrong.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And that's why today, I am going to give you some unprofessional advice on how to face yours. So without further ado, let's begin. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Westin Hotels and Resorts. Westin Hotels is designed with your wellbeing in mind.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
There is nothing wrong about what you're doing. So stop feeling bad, okay? There's nothing more useless than feeling bad about something that we don't need to feel bad about. There are moments in life when we should feel bad. We did something wrong. We hurt somebody's feelings. This is not something to feel bad about. That doesn't mean it's not uncomfortable, though.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
This is a very uncomfortable situation. And it is a situation that will cause unfavorable feelings. Your roommate is going to be sad. You might be sad. You probably less so because you are excited about moving in with your boyfriend. You get to have cuddle time every night. How fun is that? No one's home, just you guys, so much fun. It's like playing house, so much fun. You're not that sad.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Your roommate's gonna be sad, you know? Your roommate is going to be sad. And so, you know, to an extent, you can feel a level of like, oh, you know, I don't like making anyone feel sad. But at the same time, like, you're not doing anything wrong, so don't feel bad, don't feel guilty. Be aware of the fact that, yes, you know, it may cause some sadness in your roommate.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And yes, it may cause some sadness for you. But ultimately, it's for the better. And it's a normal part of growing and moving through life. And I think... the best thing that you can do is have the conversation as soon as possible. Don't put it off till the last minute because then you actually have something to feel bad about.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
If you screw your roommate over because you don't tell them until the last minute that you're not going to live together next year, that's when you need to start feeling bad because that's not fair to them, right? So tell them immediately and be like, I'm so sorry. I've been talking to my boyfriend. We made this decision. I'm going to miss you so much. It's been such a joy. Like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And then if you're still feeling bad and you really want to help out even more, offer to ask the leasing person in your building that you're moving into with your boyfriend if they have any open units. Offer to help your friend find a new roommate. Offer to help. make a plan on how you both can stay connected, whether it's like, why don't we live in the same building? That would be fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Or if that's not an option, maybe we live in the same neighborhood on the same block. You know, there's ways that you can lessen the blow and make it less of like a depressing thing that you're no longer roommates. Like I think... helping them in their process moving forward, making a plan on how to maintain the friendship, you know, potentially planning to even live kind of close together.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Like all of these things can lessen the blow for both of you and make it less sort of traumatic for both of you. I think there's something to be said for presenting bad news with good news. You know, a lot of us don't think to find a silver lining or to find a way to lessen the blow. We're like, oh God, we have bad news. We just have to present the bad news and that's it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You can get creative and find good news to pair with the bad news. And I try to do that whenever I can. If I'm going to somebody and telling them something that they're not going to want to hear, I'll pair it with something that actually they would want to hear. You know, like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
you know, I don't think we can be roommates next year, but there's an open unit in my building and maybe you could check it out this weekend. Like, do you see what I'm saying? There's different ways that you can put a positive spin on it. And I think by doing that, you'll lessen the blow and it won't be so bad.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Next, somebody said, and I'm sorry that now I'm like, you can hear the allergy attack in my nose and in my throat, but let's just ignore that. Somebody said, I'm in college studying something that I'm good at, but I don't love it. How do I tell my parents? I'm scared that they'll be disappointed in me. Well, to start, you're the one who has to live this life, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
With more than 200 destinations around the world, Westin Hotels makes it possible to keep up with your wellness routine while traveling. With signature amenities and offerings that help you move well, eat well, and sleep well. And with their iconic next generation heavenly bed, you can look forward to the rest. The worst part about traveling Now back to the episode. Somebody said...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You're the one who has to go to school every day, study this topic, do the homework, take the tests, and ultimately get the job that you're going to work for the rest of your life in, perhaps, potentially, if, you know, that's kind of what you're working towards right now. So that's, you know, you're the one who has to live this life, not your fucking parents.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You have to live this life for the rest of your life. And it's important to, you know, respect our parents' opinions and hear them out. But at the end of the day, it's your fucking life and you're an adult. And obviously we want to impress our parents. We want to please our parents. We want to make them proud. But it's not actually right of them to try to control our future. Like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
they should be open-minded. And if they're not, they're in the wrong, in my opinion, okay? So in my opinion, your parents are in the wrong if they judge you for shifting directions, you know, changing your path and like, I think that that's wrong. I think that just because they're your parents doesn't mean that everything that they do is right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And them being disappointed in you because you want to take your life in a different direction to me is wrong. As long as you're not doing something that's self-destructive, I don't think that they can ultimately be disappointed in you. Like, I mean, I guess they can, but I don't know that it's fair to inflict that upon you. You know, they just, they have to get over it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
They have to either get over it or they have to put a strain on the relationship between you and them, which is so harmful and unnecessary. Unless you're doing something that's destructive to their lives or to your life, it is not good parenting for them to cut you off. You know what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
So find confidence in the fact that you're doing the right thing by maintaining control of your own life, living life for you and making this decision because it's what's going to be the most fulfilling for you because you're the one who has to live this goddamn life. You got to do it, okay? Not them. We love your parents, but you can be firm with your parents.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You can tell your parents that they're wrong. You can tell your parents that they're overstepping. You can tell your parents that what they want for your life is not what you want for your life. That is all okay. They were your authority for many years, but they're not anymore. You are now your own authority.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And part of that is taking responsibility for your decisions and also making decisions yourself. That is a part of being a functioning adult, making decisions based on your own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. Breaking away from your parents, that is a part of being an adult. When you're a kid and you're living under their roof and they're paying your bills, you do kind of have to...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
do what they say. Now you don't. And to truly mature is to truly break free from your parents and their beliefs and their ideas about your life. And this is a great sign that you're questioning some of their beliefs and you're like, okay, this isn't right for me. And so this is a conversation that you need to have with your parents. Embrace yourself for disappointment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
They might be disappointed, but find confidence and comfort in the I also think, like I mentioned earlier, it can be really helpful and it can really soften the blow to your parents to present a bit of good news with the bad news.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Okay, so if you know that this is gonna be bad news for your parents because they really wanted you to study this topic, they really wanted you to go into this field for your career, Find a way to present them with good news instead of just saying like, I'm dropping out. I'm not doing this major anymore. I'm going to do a different major. I'm going to major in something else.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I want to go on a different career path. And that's it. Instead of just saying that, say, I'm switching my major. I'm going on a different career path now. But you know what? I'm really excited because I'm going to major in this now. And I'm really excited because this is what I want my career path to be. And I actually just started talking to this company about an internship.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Before you present it to them, take some action in the step of where you want to go in your life so that you have something promising to present to them. You don't necessarily owe that to them, but I think it could lessen the blow and be very positive. It could potentially reframe it for them. And just remember that...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Whatever comes of that conversation is necessary for the sake of your quality of life and your well-being because this is your life, okay? Next, somebody said, my bestie is hanging out with a guy with a million red flags recently. Do I say something to her? Okay, as I mentioned earlier, I tend to be someone who believes in communication, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Like if I see something wrong, if something feels off, I just say it. As I mentioned earlier, it tends to be like a 50-50 split. Some people believe don't get involved in your friends or loved ones' romantic situations because it just always goes wrong. And other people are like, if I was in their shoes, I'd want to know if some shit was going awry, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And so, you know, I feel it's the right thing to do to communicate. For the most part, I tend to fall in that category, as I mentioned earlier. I tend to believe it's better to tell your friend because if I was in that situation, I would want to know. However, in this case, I'm a bit less sure, you know, like I can't safely say you should just tell him because red flags are
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
are technically subjective, right? Like a red flag to you might not be a red flag to me and vice versa. It depends, right? To some people, shyness and mysteriousness is a red flag. To other people, it's an exciting challenge. Like I'm gonna crack this person open and find out who they truly are. And I don't mind that. To some people, a red flag could be a certain type of sense of humor.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
But then to other people, it might be a green flag. Like, oh, my God, I think this person's so funny. Like red flags vary in severity. So it's harder to say. But I do think that there are some like objectively wrong red flags. Like we would all agree that these things are wrong. For example, cheating in some way, like not being loyal. Disrespect is obviously objectively wrong.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I found out my friend's boyfriend sent a naked picture of her to his group chat. Do I tell her? How do I tell her? She's so in love with him. This is really hard. It is a horrible feeling to know something about your friend that you know will hurt them, but that you know is wrong not to tell them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Lying is obviously objectively wrong. If you know that this guy is actively doing things that are objectively wrong to her, I think it's okay to gently bring up, right? And be like, hey, you can do whatever you want. And I know you really like this guy, but... I, as a friend, am watching him mistreat you and it really bothers me. I can't stand idly by.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I have to bring it up to you and tell you that you don't deserve this shit. You deserve somebody who treats you like a little princess. you deserve to be treated with love and respect because that's how you treat other people, assuming that your friend is a beautiful angel, although she might not be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
But if the red flags are a bit less obvious, they're a bit less intense, they're a bit less glaringly obvious, I would say a lot of times it's better for people to find out for themselves that someone isn't right for them Because usually that's what they're going to do anyway. Like you can bring shit up to them, but they're just going to end up figuring it out on their own anyway.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
They're not going to listen to you. Because in the case of like love and romance and lust, good luck. It's so tough. Like it's really hard to break through and be heard. Like even when somebody's treating you wrong, like I remember in the past, I've been dating guys who have maybe sort of not treated me the best. And people have told me like, Hey, I don't like that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I don't like the way that they treat you. I saw the way that they said that to you. I saw the way that they handled the situation. I heard that story about what they said to you, whatever. And that doesn't sit right with me. And guess what I said? No, no, but I love them. And this was just like an off day for them. And I made excuses.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
So it's like, and it actually, if anything, made me resent them in the moment. Now, in retrospect, I'm like, you were totally right, but I had to figure it out on my own. I had to touch the stove long enough and get burned bad enough to learn that I shouldn't touch the stove. Sometimes you have to, you know, play in the knife drawer to realize that playing in the knife drawer is a bad idea.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And that you shouldn't do it again. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's how we grow. That's how we learn through experience. A lot of us struggle with like, a lot of us, like hear advice, and we're like, okay, and we end up making the mistake anyway, we don't follow the advice. But the advice sticks with us. And it's not all bad, right? It makes us aware of, you know, huh?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Although it's starting to feel like they're not seasonal and they're just year round allergies. Yeah, they're not specific to one season anymore. When I was a kid, I used to get them like during the spring because there's all this pollen. Now I just constantly have really, really severe pollen allergies. Anyways, and so I took my allergy pill. I normally take it in the afternoon, not today.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
okay, I'm going to pay attention to like, maybe they are right, but I don't care because I'm going to do what I'm going to do anyway. But then later it only further sort of solidifies like, oh shit, I don't want to do that again. I got that advice. I should have followed it. I didn't. I learned the hard way. Now I'm here. Now I know even more certainly that I should never do that again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And so I don't know. I think you can maybe subtly give some advice or even ask like Socratic. Is it a Socratic question? Yes, it is a Socratic question. You know, you can ask your friend sort of Socratic questions, which if you don't know what a Socratic question is... Socratic questioning is a method of asking and answering questions to explore ideas and debate logical responses.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
It's a collaborative process that involves asking open ended questions to encourage people to think critically. So instead of like saying, hey, I don't really think it's good how that person is treating you. Instead, you say, how does it make you feel when that person does this to you? And you let them answer and you let them come to the conclusion. You know where I learned this from?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
My dad, because this is what my dad does to me. Instead of like, my mom will tell me like, sorry, like that is fucked up. Like, I don't like the way that that person treats you or whatever. oh, I don't like that. I don't like your hair like that or like whatever. My mom will just tell me. My dad, on the other hand, will be like, how do you feel about your new haircut?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Or how do you feel when that person talks to you that way? Or how are you doing with that person? And then I'll answer and be like, Well, I don't really like my haircut. It's not great. I've been feeling kind of self-conscious about it. Or, you know, I don't know. When that person talks to me like that, it makes me feel small and it makes me feel disrespected and I really don't like it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Or whatever. And then from there, he'll be like, well, what kind of haircut are you going to get next? What do you think would look better? Or, well, what are you going to do about that? How are you going to handle that situation with that person? And then I end up finding the solution myself. And that is far more empowering and far more helpful than just being told what to do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And I've noticed in life, people tend to have two complete opposite perspectives when it comes to telling your friend about their romantic relationship. Some people are like, don't ever get involved. The golden rule is just don't get involved. And then some people are like, no, you have to get involved. If you know something, you have to tell your friend. That is being a good friend.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Because number one, it's less personal. You know, it's not like we all need to handle situations differently, right? Because we're all very different. So there are moments when somebody will tell you like, This is how you need to handle the situation. And that's what worked for them. But what would work for you is actually a bit different. And only you can figure that out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Through Socratic questioning, you can actually figure that out quicker because you're being asked and you're being forced to answer. And through the answering, you're figuring that out yourself. So you're, you know... Ow. Sorry. I was being very expressive with my hands and talking with my hands. And then my cat bit my little finger because he thought it was a little sausage.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
It's not a little sausage. It's my finger. It's my finger. Let's not bite anymore. Okay. We don't play like that. We play nice. Anyway. That's the last one. That's it for today's advice session. I had a lot of fun, as always. I was on the verge of a sneeze the entire episode. The second I stop recording, I'm just gonna sneeze for the next hour. But I had a lot of fun and I hope you did too.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And if you did, tune in to Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Episodes are available anywhere you stream podcasts and video episodes so you can watch me and hang out with me with your eyes. Video episodes are available on Spotify and on YouTube, so check it out. And anything goes is on social media at anything goes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I'm on social media at Emma Chamberlain and my coffee company is on the internet at chamberlaincoffee.com and at chamberlaincoffee on social media. And we are also in person at some grocery stores near you. We're talking Whole Foods. We're talking Target. We're talking Sprouts. We're talking Albertsons. See if we're in a store near you on the store locator. uh, online chamberlaincoffee.com.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And that's all I have for today. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. It's always a joy. It's always a pleasure. I, I also have to pee really bad. Like I had to sneeze this entire episode. I also had to pee, you know, for the second half. Like I just need to sit on the toilet and fucking put my little legs up on the squatty potty.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And I just need to blow my nose and I need to just sit there and see what happens. And, Yes, I do put my feet up on the squatty potty even when I'm peeing. I just love the squatty potty. I love the way it feels. Anyway, that's it for today. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. It's always a pleasure. I love you all. I appreciate you all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And I can't wait to talk to you very soon in a few days here on Anything Goes, the podcast. Okay, love you all. Bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And I just noticed throughout my life, it seems to be like a 50-50 split. I tend to fall on the side of to be a good friend is to tell them. That's where I tend to fall, I'd say, 90% of the time. And I would say in this specific scenario, I think you need to tell your friend because... Here's the deal. There's a really high chance that your friend doesn't want her nude in the group chat.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Listen, is there a chance that your friend doesn't mind and is like, hey, I'm proud of this nude. Show all your fucking friends. I don't give a fuck. You know, some people are like that. In fact, if I took a really good nude, I would tell my boyfriend to show his friends. I'd be like, fuck yeah, it looks really good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Unfortunately, I don't take nudes because I'm too afraid of having them on my phone. And... Uh, something about it just has always felt kind of ingenuine to me, like inauthentic to me as a person. I've never been somebody who really takes nudes, but, but I think if you were to put yourself in your friend's shoes in this scenario, I would assume that you would also wanna know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And that's a good test. Like, should I tell my friend about this, should I not? Put yourself in your friend's shoes. If you were them, would you wanna know? Of course you would. We always wanna know what's going on. If something's happening behind our back, we wanna know. And there's a really, really high chance that this is happening behind your friend's back.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
She's unaware of it, and this isn't okay with her. This wouldn't be okay with her, right? You gotta tell her. But I do think it's important to tell her in the right way, okay? This is a very sensitive situation. It sounds like your friend really loves this boy. You know, you want to handle this tactfully. You want to communicate it tactfully. And there are some ways to do it wrong, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You don't want to tell her in front of anyone else, okay? That would be bad, right? You want to tell her in private. That's number one. Number two, you want to communicate it gently. And you want to communicate it... Honestly, right? Like you don't want to make light of it. You don't want to make a joke of it. But you also don't want to make it a bigger deal than it needs to be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You want to present this information to her in a way that is gentle and calming. Because she might freak out, right? Let her be the one who dictates the energy of the conversation, okay? Don't come in and be like, oh my God, I'm so sorry I found this out. Oh my God. Be like, hey, you know... I'm going to be honest. I found out about something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And if I were you, I would really want to know about it. And there's a chance that you don't mind or that, you know, you guys have talked about this and this is totally fine or whatever. But I have to tell you because it would feel wrong if I didn't. Your boyfriend sent your nude into the group chat. I found out about it and I just had to tell you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And I'm sorry if this is something that upsets you, but I really... felt like it was my duty as a friend to let you know. That's all you have to say. Do it in private. Say it gently. Say it really calm and rational like I just did. And then you go from there. And then you just be a supportive friend from there. I really do think, because this is something that is...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
usually wrong, like that's kind of an objectively wrong thing to do. Like I think 99.9% of people would look at that and say, that's not right. And when that's the case, I think you can safely tell your friend about it and not worry about overstepping. If it's like an objectively bad thing to do. I think it is generally considered wrong to share someone's nudes with
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Needed to pop it early, so I popped it early. And then my ears started itching and burning. So I went and got some cortisone cream and put that in my ears with a Q-tip. Life hack if your ears are itchy from having allergies. By the way, one of the worst feelings in the world, having itchy inner ears. Oh my God. And it happens to me all the time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
when they shared those nudes with you in confidence in private, right? So I would say, tell your friend. Okay, next somebody said, I hate my job. I don't agree with the ethics of the company, but I desperately need the money. I feel like I'm betraying myself. What do I do? Well, to start, I would say, you're not betraying yourself. You're doing what you have to do. This is how life works.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
We have to work. And sometimes we have to work somewhere that we don't want to work for survival. So don't feel bad. Don't feel guilty. Don't feel betrayed by yourself. Reframe the situation that you're in right now. You know your morals and your values. It's clear that you're connected to what they are. That's an incredible thing, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
The fact that you are aware of the fact that your job goes against your morals and values only confirms your morals and values, right? And that's a beautiful thing, I think. Your job doesn't reflect those morals and values. Your feeling about the job does. So find confidence in the fact that you know how you feel about this job. You know what I'm saying? You aren't the problem.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You're not doing anything wrong. You're just showing up to work because right now this is your job and that's totally okay. You are not the CEO of the company. You are not the founder of the company. You are not responsible for what this company does. This is not your weight to bear. So let that go.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And also understand that this is just a stepping stone in your life, getting you to the next step in your career. This is not your career. This is a stepping stone in your career. Every single person on this planet, I think probably at some point in their lives, work a job that in some way goes against their morals or values.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Or they work a job that they look back on later and they're like, oh God, that was so bad for my spirit. This is a common part of the career journey. I look back at my career and I have moments like that where maybe I did something that ended up not being right. Maybe went against my morals or whatever. We've all done it. We've all done it. Good luck finding somebody who hasn't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I think this is a common challenge. I think... What is valid and true though is like working a job that goes against your morals and values is bad for your spirit, right? It's bad for... That was really spiritual. It's bad for your spirit, the fuck? I sound like a psychic or something. It's really bad for your spirit, baby. Let me pull another tarot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And then I pull another one and then... Anyways... Yeah, it just it doesn't make you feel good. So I think to sort of put power back into your hands and to sort of, I don't know, feeling control of the situation, I think just start dedicating a little bit more of your energy to figuring out your next step.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And sometimes it's so excruciating that I have to make a horrible sound like this. I'll do it for you right now. Are you ready? I have to snort like that because it, for some reason, itches the inner ear and you can't get your finger in there to itch. So like you have to snort. and vibrate your inner ear through the snorting to itch it, it's a catastrophe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You know, a current maybe unfavorable situation feels a lot less horrible when you're working towards moving on from it. So I would say focus as much energy as you can right now to figuring out your next step, figuring out how you can leave this job. And it's not going to happen overnight, and that's okay. But just working towards it, I think, is...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
enough to sort of, I don't know, again, I hate to talk about the spirit again. I mean, we're really getting into the spirit, but it will be good for your spirit and your soul to be working on the next step in your career that has nothing to do with this job that sort of goes against your morals and values.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Next, somebody said, I really want to date, kind of low-key am dating, my ex-boyfriend's best friend. Oh, wow. I'm scared of what other people might think. What do I do? Well, to start, I kind of think that vibe is hot. It is a little messy, but there's something about it that I have fantasized about before. I'm not going to lie.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
After breaking up with every boyfriend I've ever dated, afterwards, I've fantasized about dating their friends. because of how like satisfying you'd be and how angry you would make them. And it's totally petty and it's totally messy, but I've always fantasized about it and you're living my fantasy. So good for you. However, it is a bit complicated, right? It is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Listen, even though you might be living my dream, this is still a really complicated situation. I am sort of perplexed by the fact that, like, how are you dating your ex-boyfriend's best friend right now? They can't be best friends. If they were truly best friends, this would not be happening. So something is going on with the friendship and it's not good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
That friendship, like I think I need to be giving advice to the two boys in that friendship. Not you. Because their friendship sounds a bit corrupt. I think everyone knows that it's not great to date your best friend's ex. To date your acquaintance's ex. To date your friend that you hang out with once a year's ex. It's still a bit messy, but I don't know. It's like whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
It's obviously not ideal. It's a bit uncomfortable. But there's only so many options of who we can date in our... local community, and sometimes things become a bit, I almost used the word incestual, but we do not want to use that word. And that's not even what I mean. Yeah, sometimes you end up sharing. You know what I'm saying? Sometimes you end up swapping. It just happens.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
But best friends, that's not your fault. I don't think you're really doing anything wrong. Once you break up with somebody, you kind of don't owe them anything anymore, you know? And if you end up falling in love with their best friend, it's not, in my opinion, your job to say, well, you know what? That's morally wrong. I'm not, you know, this was my ex-boyfriend.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You don't really owe anything to your ex-boyfriend anymore. It's up to the best friend of your ex to, to do the right thing in their eyes, right? I really don't think it's your job to handle that situation. However, if I were you, I would sort of see it as a red flag that the guy that you're dating now is best friends with your ex and he's dating you anyway.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
He's not very loyal to your ex, his best friend. You know, that's kind of a red flag to me. It's a sign of his loyalty. And I don't love that. So that's definitely something to keep in mind. However... Maybe you two are soulmates. And like, for whatever reason, the universe put your ex and his best friend into your life as the middleman to bring you together. Like, who am I to say? Right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
So yeah, I just kind of got over a little allergy attack, but I still feel it. My ears are still itchy. My nose is still itchy. I'm on the verge of a sneeze. It is just a mess, okay? But the show must go on and it will. So with that being said, welcome back to Advice Session. a series here on Anything Goes, where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I think a lot of this depends on how serious these relationships are. You know, how deep is his friendship with your ex? How deep was your relationship with your ex? Right? How deep is your relationship between the two of you? Like, how serious are all of these relationships? Because depending on the severity of each relationship, you know, the morality of the situation sort of changes, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
If you two are soulmates, and both of your relationships with your ex and his best friend were not that deep and not that serious or potentially even like deeply flawed or something like that, then it's not that wrong to me. I'm like, that's fine. But if you had a beautiful, beautiful relationship with your ex and like you're still friends and it's like this beautiful thing,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And, you know, you truly like loved each other and you want to remain friends after and all this. And like the guy that you're dating now, you know, they've been best friends since they were two years old and they've helped each other through life and they had this deep friendship. Then it's like, oh, this is really messy and not great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You know, like, I can't safely say that what's happening is necessarily morally right and good. But at the same time, like, it's not really your job, though, to manage their friendship, right? And you don't owe anything to your ex. So let's focus on that perspective. Ask yourself why you're scared of what people might think, because that's what you said. You said,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
These are some of the first words that I've spoken today. Like, I haven't really talked yet today. And you can hear it. Okay, my vocal cords sound shriveled up. And they are. But luckily for me, there's something kind of sexy about it. Like, I kind of have morning voice right now. Like, it's a little raspy. Good morning, baby. Good morning. You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
It's clear to me that you need to check in with your self-esteem and you need to check in with your romantic standards, okay? Because your self-esteem is low and your romantic standards are too low, okay? That's how you got here. That's how you keep getting here, right? First, I think you should check on your self-esteem.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Okay, which by the way, we should all be doing frequently because similar to our standards, our self-esteem is all over the place. Okay, it's constantly fluctuating. Again, sometimes it's too high. More often, it's too low. And when we're lucky, it falls somewhere in between, right? Goldilocks self-esteem. Holy shit, there I go again. Oh my God.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
another fricking little term that I came up with, another Nobel Peace Prize, lucky me. We should all constantly be checking in on our self-esteem. When your self-esteem is low, you're less critical of your romantic situations, okay? The feeling of reassurance that romance gives you allows you to participate in things that you wouldn't otherwise.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
When your self-esteem is low, somebody being attracted to you feels 50 times better. You're like, oh my God, thank God. Just thank God that somebody likes me. And so I think the first step is to really try to rebuild your self-esteem. And my piece of advice is always to make sure that your self-esteem is being based on the right part of your character.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
It's very challenging to, to keep that in check, but it's crucial. You don't want your self-esteem to be based on your appearance or your
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
your success or your romantic prospects okay you want your self-esteem to be based on your character why because that is the most consistent and fulfilling part of you that it can be based on it's also a part of you that you have control over you have control over your character and You don't have control over your appearance. I mean, to an extent you do, but not 100%.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
You don't always have control over your success. A lot of that's out of your control. You don't always have control over your romantic prospects. There are just times when no one around clicks with you. These are all things that are not only surface level, but also... constantly in flux. And so relying on them for your self-esteem is not good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
The only thing that you have control over that you can always take action and work on and improve on is your character, who you are as a person. what you do for others, how you treat others, your overall impact on the world, big or small. And that's actually really what builds good self-esteem is that. So check in on that self-esteem, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Because when your self-esteem is in check, your standards that are too low are gonna start slowly but surely rising. But I also think it's important to specifically hone in on your romantic standards. It's clear that your standards for romance are way too low for your own well-being. You want something real, but you're allowing in situations that are not real. Why?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I constantly have to check up on them because they do have a tendency to go awry. And for me, when my standards become imbalanced, it tends to look a little something like this, okay? My standards for myself, way too high. impossible to achieve. And I'm left feeling disappointed and bad about myself because I could literally win a Nobel Peace Prize and that would still not be enough for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Because your desires and your standards aren't aligned, okay? You're not paying close attention enough to this disconnect to fix it. I think it's important to make a set of rules for yourself when you're dealing with this sort of challenge. So a set of rules for yourself could look a little something like this. Number one, I'm not going to hook up with somebody again until I date them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Yeah, it might be challenging. Yeah, it might take a little bit of discipline, but I know that this will help me get back on track. Number two, I won't date somebody unless they meet this criteria and you can list things out. Good listener, outgoing, polite, gets along with my family. Make your own list, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Number three, I'm not going to participate in anything romantic with anybody for the next six months. I'm only going to try to make friends. Thus, giving myself the time to rebuild my self-esteem. Like there's all these different rules that you can come up with for yourself. But I think it's important to, I don't know, have some sort of set of rules to abide by so that
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
You're not just kind of, I don't know, floating through life and just allowing yourself to get into situations that you don't even want to be in. And I think that that can be really helpful. And I think it's particularly important to avoid situationships moving forward because when you're in a situationship, you don't have the availability to find something real.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Every time you're in a situation ship, you're getting in the way of finding something real because the energy that you're putting towards the situation ship now cannot go towards finding something real. So you're in a lot of ways like spiritually, emotionally unavailable, you know, until you let the situation ships go, you will not find something real.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
So it's very important to set sort of rules for yourself and not allow yourself to fall back into it because otherwise you won't find something real. And I also think moving forward, it's important to communicate with your partners early on. You know, you go on a few dates, things start maybe getting sort of romantic and you're like, I hate to do this, but what the fuck's going on?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And what do you want from this? Because I really don't want to. I need to know. And it's cringe and it's uncomfortable and it's hard. But it's what you got to do sometimes. Somebody said, I lost respect for a guy that I'm talking to because he has mentioned other girls looks in front of me. Is that unfair? It makes me feel bad.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
In my opinion and experience, if someone's actions negatively impact your perception of them, that's unfortunately out of your control. A lot of our judgments, gut reactions, immediate feelings are out of our control. We can't necessarily... can change our thoughts. Our thoughts just sort of happen, but we can control how we respond to them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I say that because I think it's important not to feel bad for the thoughts that we have. So, you know, let go that feeling of guilt. I don't think that that's necessary. In fact, I think our sort of tendency to observe people and judge people and, you know, our intuition and our gut tell us things to protect ourselves, right? Like that's actually in a lot of ways a superpower that we have.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Does it misfire sometimes? Absolutely. But I think you should shift your feelings of guilt towards feelings of gratitude that your brain and body is having these reactions to protect you. It's for you, you know? It's a mechanism that we have to keep us safe. So I think you're all good there, right? There's no need to feel guilt. However, this is a guy that you're talking to.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Sounds like you're not dating him yet, but you know, when you're talking to somebody, it's because you might potentially date them. So to deeply analyze them is not a terrible idea at all. I think you should ask yourself why it bothers you. Now, I don't know what he said about another girl. Like, he could have said, her ass looks incredible in those pants. I don't think that that's good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I think that's in bad taste. He could have also said, oh, wow, like, that girl's hair just looks beautiful. Maybe, you know, she had like a beautiful... a beautiful blowout or something, or perhaps she just had beautiful hair. Who knows? You know, he could have said, wow, her outfit is really cool. You know, I don't know what he said. Right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
When my standards for myself are too high, I'm destined for failure. On the other hand, my standards for other people are on the floor. OK, people can walk all over me. They can say mean shit all they want.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And there's varying degrees of sort of severity, I think. Like, like if he said something romantic or, you know, somewhat sexual in nature about another woman, like, oh, wow. Like, yeah, she's hot. don't love that. I don't love that. I think it's in bad taste and it's disrespectful. I don't think it's nice.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
OK, but saying like, oh, wow, like I really love that girl's outfit or wow, her hair is very beautiful or something less sort of romantic, sexual in nature. See, I think that that's fine. However, that might be a boundary where you're like, Don't look at any other woman. Okay, sure. You know what I mean? I think it's important to ask yourself why it bothers you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Does it bother you because it's genuinely disrespectful? He said something romantic and sexual in nature about another woman. That's a little weird. That's a little bit disrespectful. Fair enough. Or did he say something actually just kind of nice about another girl and you're a little bit jealous? Not necessarily because you even need to be jealous. Not because...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
he said anything that should truly threaten you, but because you maybe are struggling with your self-esteem a bit. And that's sort of the problem. And it's really hard to be honest with yourself about this. Like I've had moments in my romantic relationships where something has rubbed me the wrong way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
You know, like something that a boyfriend has said to me has like kind of pissed me off or like, you know, rubbed me the wrong way. And I've thought about it. And when I really think about it, it's like, I don't think that they're being disrespectful to me. I think I'm insecure. And I think that the girl that he complimented or gave a little bit of attention to somehow taps into my insecurities.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Maybe, you know, she has something that I don't. Maybe she has, you know, like really cool style, like cooler style than I think I have. Maybe, you know, she's just supernaturally beautiful in a way that I don't think I am, you know, like who knows what it is, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But like, it's important to ask yourself that because the last thing you want to do is start an argument with your significant other over...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I don't care because my self-esteem is so low from having unrealistically high standards for myself that I don't care how people treat me because I don't feel like I deserve to be treated well because I ultimately hate myself. So that's what tends to happen to me when my standards are imbalanced. But everybody's different. You know, you might have a similar situation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
something unfair you know and then you end up in a worse position where now you're in a fight and your partner feels confused because they're like i didn't do anything wrong why are you mad at me and it's a mess it's much better to be like fuck that bothered me reflect on it be like i kind of took it too personally clearly i have some insecurity issues and then to go and handle your self-esteem from there you know i already mentioned sort of what to do when your self-esteem is low it's clear that you're holding your self-esteem in your romantic relationship
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
in how you're perceived by your partner uh you are putting too much weight on it on that right and that's not good but also there's a chance that this guy truly said something that is not cool and it genuinely bothers you and that's valid as well but you know you can only come to that conclusion once truly asking yourself if you are upset for the right reason you know
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Next, somebody said, I'm thinking of going back to my toxic friend group because I'm just way too lonely. Is that terrible? It is terrible. Do not do it. OK, but also don't be mad at yourself for feeling this way. It is so normal to feel this way. A lot of times when we shed people in our lives that are bad for us, following that is a period of loneliness.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Because a lot of times toxic people isolate us from other people. And it can be hard to rebuild friendships and relationships outside of the toxic relationships because toxic relationships tend to be isolating. That's not always the case, but more often than not, it is. So it sucks. And even if The relationships weren't particularly isolating.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
It's normal to miss people that we were once close to. Even if they're toxic, it's normal to miss them. So all of the things that you're feeling are normal. They're not terrible. But what would be terrible would be to go back. Why? Well, number one... Obviously, because they were terrible. You left them for a reason. Their impact on your life is not good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But number two, this is such an incredible opportunity for growth. Okay. These are the moments in life when you grow, when you're faced with the option of going back to your old ways or emerging from the challenge, a new version of yourself. These are the freaking moments. OK, these are the moments where you truly grow the most.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And until I realized that and truly felt and experienced the truth of that, it was really hard for me to not revert back to my old ways whenever I felt tempted to. Right. Like if I would end a relationship with a guy that wasn't good for me. Or break a bad habit that was like really comforting for me, but was ultimately bad for me. Or, you know, leave a bad friend group, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Like until I did that, overcame it and came out the other side, a happier stronger person it was really hard to motivate myself to do so but now I know I'm like every time I'm faced with this sort of dilemma like I can go back to my old ways because it's more comfortable and it'll feel better right now or I could push through a little bit longer and grow And then I'm better off forever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I'm better off for the rest of my life. You know, like either it's instant gratification or delayed gratification. It's the choice between the two. And almost always delayed gratification is better, right? There are some times when instant gratification is good, right? Like eating a chocolate croissant. That is instant gratification. That feels really good and it tastes really good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Eating a balanced breakfast with protein and fiber and healthy fats and all this. That's maybe somewhat gratifying in the moment, but it is in a way delayed gratification because those are things that look really good on your blood panel when you get your blood work done. Right. But at the same time, we need to eat the chocolate croissant. We need that sometimes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Your standards for yourself and others might be too high. Your standards for yourself and others might be too low. Your standards for yourself might be low, but for others are high. Everyone's different, right? But we all have in common the struggle to find the balance. And so that's what we're going to be discussing today. And that's what I'm going to be giving you advice on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And we should not, you know, OK, I don't know why I brought food into this. That's like a whole other. Oh, God, let's not even go there. Let's not go there. Oh, my God. Sorry. I hit my cat a little bit. Let's not go there. Yeah. Yeah. But you get the idea, right? Like instant gratification is not always bad. And I think that there are moments in our life when we deserve it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But I think instant gratification is a bit naughty and we should, you know, limit it. And I think we should always be striving for delayed gratification because it does benefit us in more ways than I think instant gratification does. Growing through this type of challenge changes you as a person forever. Going back to your old ways completely stops your growth in its tracks, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
You're not growing from that. You're going backwards. Now, is it okay to go backwards sometimes? Of course. We all do it, okay? We all go back to the shitty ex. We all go back to the shitty friend group. We all go back to our shitty old habits. It happens sometimes. OK, sometimes you have to go back a few times before you can break the cycle and grow. I've done it. We've all done it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
OK, but remember in these moments that by getting through it, you are truly like accomplishing something that you will actually be able to benefit from. You will win like you will feel good. You're going to feel better if you wait and you push through. And, you know, that's helpful to say, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And that, you know, gives you a bit of hope and maybe a bit of motivation, but it doesn't get the job done. So in the meantime, focus the energy away from your old friend group and put it towards being social with new people, okay? Start going to a new coffee shop. Start chatting it up a little bit every once in a while with the baristas, okay? Maybe that's your new friend.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I always use the coffee shop example, but that's because I have a love for that environment, okay? you know, get a new gym membership. Start chatting it up with people next to you on the treadmill. Start chatting it up with people next to you on the weight machine, you know, here and there. Maybe make a friend at the gym. Start taking pottery classes if you want to take pottery classes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Start going for walks in your local park and start saying hi to the locals. Like, Put your energy towards putting you into environments where you could perhaps make a friend. Is there a chance that you might not? Absolutely. There's a lot of people that go to the park, they go to the gym, they go to the coffee shop and don't want to talk to you. In fact, I'm one of those people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I was actually thinking about this the other day. Like I go to my hot yoga class and every once in a while I'll briefly like for 30 seconds max chat with someone. Because I go there a lot and I see the same people every day and I whatever. But one of my favorite parts about going to hot yoga is that I actually don't talk to anyone. I'm around people. I feel people's presence.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I don't feel alone, but I'm not talking to these people. And that's my favorite part about it is that I feel the warmth and the comfort of being around a bunch of people. But I also get to weirdly recharge at the same time. And so I don't know. I love that about it. And that might also be something that helps you, right? You might feel a bit lonely and maybe like, I just, I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I'm not sure what I'm looking for in a friend, kind of aimless. In the meantime, maybe you just spend time in these environments where other people are hanging out at and you don't even talk to people. You just enjoy the feeling of being around people without being friends. Sometimes that's delightful as well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But be patient because it will all be okay and you'll be happy that you stood your ground and you did not go back to that toxic friend group. Okay, moving on. Somebody said, I can't tell if I feel the spark with this new guy I'm talking to, but he's a really good guy. Really with a lot of L's and a lot of Y's. Okay, really good guy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Even though, as I just said, I do not have it all figured out. OK, I find myself in a period where my standards are imbalanced every few years. I will say, though, right now I'm in a pretty good place. I would say my standards are pretty balanced. Like, I definitely expect a lot of myself, maybe a little bit too much.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I'm trying to shift my standards for who I date and he seems like he fits the bill with how he treats me and the kindness he displays. But how do I know if I'm actually attracted to him or if he's just a great guy, but not my great guy? When should I give up? Well, there's a chance that you might be like me and your standards for men in the past were quite low.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Now, this is not me insulting the men that I dated, right? It's not. It's insulting myself, actually. My standards were very low. OK, how could I expect the guys that I dated in the past to live up to standards that I didn't even share with them? They weren't even aware of. But also my standards were not only just low in the past, but they were also toxic. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
My standards for men used to be, I only want to date a guy that barely likes me. I want to have to win over this guy. I like guys that are incredibly hard to get, borderline impossible, because the feeling of getting them is so intense, is so exciting, is so explosive that it boosts my self-esteem in a way that nothing else does.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
OK, so not only did I have low standards for like how I was treated, but my standards were also toxic. OK, I wanted to date a guy that was so hard to get that by the time I got them, it felt like I had run six marathons in a row. Like it was the exhaustion, but then the satisfaction. It's drug like. OK, and that's what I used to look for.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And when your standards are low and toxic, it's really hard for you to date somebody who's good for you. Why? Because someone who likes you, who shows you affection, who is genuinely interested in you, who reciprocates effort and attention are not a challenge. There's nothing to conquer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And so the feeling of receiving those wonderful things, attention, affection, romantic interest, pales in comparison to receiving those incredible things from somebody who doesn't really like you, who's hard to get, who's not fully in it. It pales in comparison. And that is so toxic, okay? It's so toxic because it's not that it's not true, right? Like it is true.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
OK, I've experienced both in my life. OK, affection, romantic attention, all of this from guys that do not like me literally or they like me, but like they don't show it a lot. I'm constantly questioning it and they're in and out. You know, they're in and out emotionally. I've experienced that and the excitement that that is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And I've experienced a healthy situation where the feelings are just mutual or not even mutual. The feelings are genuine and available. There's no shortage of affection and romantic feelings. And it's just there. And I don't have to fight for it. And I can tell you that nothing pales in comparison to that toxic romantic attention. Like nothing compares. It is truly drug-like.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But it's not to a point that I can't like, I don't know, find some sort of feeling of achievement. Like I'm putting pressure on myself, but I'm actually able to achieve everything that I'm expecting of myself. So that's good. And when it comes to other people, I would say my standards are pretty balanced right now. I don't think I'm expecting too much, but I'm definitely not allowing myself
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But drugs are not good for you. They're just not. Their potentially most unhealthy part is how good they feel, but how bad they are for you. Like that juxtaposition is the worst part about it, right? It's like if drugs made you feel bad and were just really bad, it'd be like, Well, stay away from those. The problem with drugs is that they feel really good and they're really bad for you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
That's the problem. So, yeah, you should really give this guy a solid chance. OK, because the only way to sort of grow through that toxic habit of dating guys that don't like you, the only way to get through that is to date a guy that's good for you and is to figure out how to be satisfied with normal romance and normal affection. And you can't do that when you're dating toxic guys.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
You just can't. So I really think you need to give this guy a solid chance. Okay. Give him a solid chance. And I can't define what a solid chance looks like. Unfortunately, like only you can figure that out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But I would say, you know that it's not working if you get to a point where you truly feel like you're fooling yourself and this person, you know, where you're like, OK, at this point, it's been, you know, X amount of months, perhaps even a year, perhaps even two years. And I'm just not feeling it. The feelings just never came.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And at this point, it's starting to feel unfair to them and to me that we're in this situation. And it just feels irresponsible at this point. the likelihood that, you know, it's going to work out is low enough now that it's just, I got to let it go. And that's okay too, right? You might give this guy a chance and really, really give it a solid go. And it just does not work out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And there's a chance that He's just not for you. Like, that's totally fine too, right? As long as you gave him a solid chance, you can move forward knowing that you, number one, are taking steps to get over your toxic habits. But number two, that you didn't just jump to conclusions about this person. You actually gave it a try. It didn't work out. And now you know for sure.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But unless you try it, you'll never know for sure. But now you tried it. So now you know for sure. And it didn't work out. And that's totally fine. And you move forward. And it's not your type of guy. But now you know what it feels like to experience, you know, a really good guy. And so now you know what to look for.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
There's someone out there that has the same traits that this guy has, but is, for whatever reason, more of a click for you. And it is sort of unfortunate how somebody on paper can look like the perfect person for you. You know, they have every single trait that you're looking for. But for some reason, it's just not right. Love and romance is sort of unexplainable. It's almost like cosmic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
We can try to explain it or, you know, be like, well, you know, this type of person is compatible with this type of person and this and that. bullshit. It just, it just is. Do you know what I'm saying? Like we can't predict. It's almost like it's not up to us. Like the universe has its own sort of plan when it comes to love. And we just don't, we just have to trust that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Bad behavior. Bad behavior is is not allowed right now. My standards are too high and good for me because it is much better to have people in your life who respect you. Anywho, my cat is like meowing in the kitchen and it's just it's unbelievable because I fed them 15 minutes ago. I just don't know what the cat could be wanting. And I don't know which of my cats it is. I have one girl and one boy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And if something's not working, it's not, but something, if something is working, then it is. But sometimes when it's working, it's because it's toxic and you're feeling explosive feelings of, you know, loss that you can't even explain and you can't That's actually all I have for today. That was today's advice session. And if you enjoyed it, tune into Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
New episodes available anywhere you stream podcasts. But video is on YouTube and Spotify. Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes. I'm on social media at Emma Chamberlain. I also am Anything Goes. I don't have a co-host. This is my show. But I also exist at Emma Chamberlain on social media. And I have a coffee company.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
on social media at Chamberlain Coffee and online at ChamberlainCoffee.com and in stores at Target, Sprouts, Whole Foods and more. Go look at the store locator if you want to find a store near you. That's all I got for today. I really appreciate you all listening, hanging out. It was truly, as always, a pleasure. And I don't know, let's just try to find our Goldilocks standards, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Like, you just got the tingles from that. Anyway, soon my cords will be warmed up. But for now, you get sexy, tingly morning voice from me. So you're welcome. Anyway, welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes, where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on, and I give you my unprofessional advice. And today's topic is standards.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Let's all work together to have Goldilocks standards. Um, I'm waiting for the email from Nobel peace prize foundation or whatever about my creation of the term Goldilocks standards. Can't wait to receive that email. Although I'm really horrible at checking my email. So I probably won't see the email. Okay. I'm done. I'm done. I'm fucking done. I'm done joking around. I'm done. I'm done talking.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I love you all. I appreciate you all. It's always such a joy to talk and hang out and we'll talk and hang out very soon. All right. Bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I don't know which one it is. Sounds like the boy. Do you hear that? Can I be honest? I need to go check on this cat. It's meowing very loudly. I'll be right back. Okay, I'm back. I checked on the cat and everything seemed completely normal. They have full food bowls. I can't explain it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And whenever my cats start meowing out of nowhere, I convince myself that they are seeing a ghost in my house, that there is ultimately a spiritual intruder. And it totally makes me paranoid for the rest of the day. So I'm going to try to distract myself now by giving you advice. So let's just begin. Okay, somebody said, I have high standards in all of my relationships. Romantic, platonic, etc.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I feel like they're too much for most friends and loved ones to live up to. Should I hold my standards anyway? Okay. I feel like most people tend to look at low standards as the most dangerous, the most negative. And they tend to dismiss the potential dangers of having standards that are too high.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Now, it's clear that you're concerned about your own standards and you're starting to question if they're too high. I'm just saying as a society, we tend to see standards that are too low as being worse than standards that are too high. And to be honest, I think both are equally as dangerous. OK, when your standards are too low. You'll let people walk all over you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
You know, your quality of relationships will suffer because you just kind of let anyone in. And a lot of times that lowers your self-esteem because you have people around you who are not of high quality. You don't respect them. They don't inspire you. They don't respect you. You don't inspire them. It's just like a net negative situation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And you allow it because you don't have high enough standards to put a stop to it. But on a personal level, when your standards are too low... You just won't achieve to the level that you could otherwise. And that's a shame because you're capable of a lot of magic. And when your standards are too low for yourself, you oftentimes don't have the drive to make shit happen.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And so you're not functioning at the highest level. And we should all be striving to... function at the highest level. Right. So, yeah, it's very clear that having standards that are too low is not good, bad, detrimental. But I would argue that having standards that are too high are almost equally as dangerous just for very different reasons.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And again, there's a lot of people who are aware of this, but there's also a lot of people who aren't. When your standards are too high in friendships and relationships, nobody ever can live up to your expectations, which leads you to disappointment and leads you to creating a dynamic with your friends and loved ones where they constantly feel inadequate in your eyes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
They constantly feel like they just can't win with you. And at a certain point, they're going to get exhausted. Like, I just can't keep up with the expectations of this person. I don't know if I can do it anymore. And it sort of becomes this doomed situation of like either the people in your life are going to leave you because they just can't live up to your expectations.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And the feeling of disappointing you is really challenging for them. So they'd rather just not be friends with you at all, not date you at all. not be around you at all, whatever. Or your expectations are so high that you're constantly disappointed with your loved ones and you're the one to cut them off. But that's usually how that story ends. Isolation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
If no one can live up to your standards, then you will be alone. Because unfortunately, Nobody out here is perfect. In fact, we're all very far from perfect. And I challenge you to find someone who doesn't frustrate you, who doesn't fall short sometimes. Good fucking luck. It's just the way that it is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And we should have high enough standards for ourselves that the people in our lives have a positive impact on our lives. But we can't take it to an extreme where we're expecting so much positive from these people that we end up creating a big negative. And when your standards are too high for yourself, oh my God, so many bad things happen. You psych yourself out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Our standards are complicated, right? Because they're constantly fluctuating. Sometimes our standards are too high. Sometimes they're too low. And when we're lucky, sometimes they fall somewhere in between. Not too high, not too low, just right. Goldilocks standards. But as much as we all strive to have Goldilocks standards, which is, I think, a term I just came up with.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
You get mental blocks because you're so afraid of failure. You're so afraid of wasting time. You're so afraid of not using your time efficiently. You're so afraid of not being productive. You're so afraid of people judging you. You're so afraid of judging yourself. that you end up frozen. You don't even know what to do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
You don't even know how to start because there are so many daunting thoughts in your head. When you do accomplish something, you don't get any feelings of satisfaction because your expectations for yourself are so high that you could never possibly accomplish enough to satisfy those standards, to reach those standards. And your self-esteem just absolutely plummets. Listen, you get the point.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
extremes on both ends are equally as bad. The reason I bring this up is because I think a lot of people are aware of the dangers of low standards, but are less aware of the dangers of high standards. Because I think in our society today, if you will, high standards are sort of promoted and praised.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I see dating advice online, for example, that consists of people sitting there and saying, if your significant other doesn't buy you flowers every day, cook your breakfast every day, make your coffee every morning, give you a back rub every night, only say nice things to you, only give you a gentle little kiss on the nose, have sex with you every single day and have a really well-paying job and you never have to, then drop them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
If they don't have all that, drop them. I can't tell you how many times I've seen advice like that. Being like, come on people, we need to higher our standards. There are definitely a good chunk of people out there that end up raising their standards too high when they hear that advice. There are also people out there who just naturally have
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
sort of dangerously high standards and I think it's hard to keep it in check when no one's telling you that that's potentially a dangerous thing and oh my cats are fighting now are you guys kidding me like I'm just I I can't get through anything with you guys around okay
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
So I'd say once you are aware of sort of the gravity of the dangers of having standards that are too high, you can properly analyze your own. But I think until you see it as something that can be potentially dangerous, you're not going to be as critical of your high standards. Because there's a lot of noise telling you that having high standards is a good thing. It's a power move. It's girl boss.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
It's strength. It's girl boss, it's boy boss. You know what I'm saying? Whatever. But it's boss. You want to have high standards, right? So step one is to realize that it can be potentially dangerous. And step two is to reflect on your standards. And this is how I personally would do it, okay? I'd ask myself a series of questions and see what my answers are.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Question number one, are my loved ones genuinely hurting me in some way? Like, am I questioning if my standards are too high because no one's living up to my expectations and it's really disappointing? Or like, are multiple people in my life actually hurting me? And that's why I'm questioning my standards, because I'm like, wow, it seems like
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Everyone's disappointing me because everyone's hurting me. Do you see what I'm saying? Like, are the people in your life hurting you genuinely? I think that's an important first question to ask. And if the answer is yes, then that means, no, I don't think your standards are too high. I think you have some challenging characters in your life that you might need to reevaluate.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But if the answer is no, and the people in your life are not genuinely hurting you, they're just not living up to your expectations. They're not perfect listeners or they're not perfectly attentive 24-7 or, you know, they sometimes have moments where they lash out a little bit or, you know, like little things that everyone struggles with, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Did I just come up with that? Goldilocks standards? Has anyone ever said that? OK, nominate me for a Nobel Peace Prize. That's actually incredible. That's beautiful. Wow. Very excited and inspired. Thank you. Moving on. It's very challenging to maintain balance.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
If it's stuff like that, okay, then maybe you should continue questioning a little bit more. The next thing I'd ask myself would be, am I communicating my standards? Am I even bringing this stuff up? Because you can't expect the people in your life to read your mind.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And I get sometimes that there's sort of this feeling of like, well, if you really knew me, then you would know that this is what's important to me. I'm sorry. That is unrealistic. You need to communicate your standards. We are all different in so many ways. And you can't expect other people to know exactly what you want at all times.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And so if you're not communicating, then you can't necessarily expect that from others. Can you expect... basic respect, basic kindness, basic levels of communication? Absolutely. But you can't expect people to perfectly meet your standards because those are very specific to you. And if the people in your life don't know what those standards are, they cannot live up to them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
So ask yourself, are you communicating these things? If you are, okay, great. Well then, they're aware and they're either choosing not to put the effort in to live up to those standards or they literally can't and it's impossible. And so that's something you need to ask yourself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
If the answer is no and you're not communicating, okay, well, you need to start out by communicating with your loved ones what your standards are, okay? Because they can't live up until you tell them. So my piece of advice then is to go and communicate and then give it another few months and see what happens and then come back to this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But again, if you are communicating, okay, well then now there's more thinking to do. Now you need to sort of analyze, all right, what percentage of my loved ones are actually able to live up to these standards? You know, is it 50-50? Is it 90-10? What are we working with here?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
If majority of your loved ones are not living up to your standards and they're not hurting you, your standards are too high. They're just simply too high. Oh, we have a cat. You're all wrapped up in my cords, buddy. All good. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But then again, if there's sort of a small chunk of your loved ones who aren't living up to your expectations and everyone else is able to do it, then maybe you wanna hone in on those people and see what the problem is. And maybe it's less about your standards and more about their compatibility with your standards, right? And you wanna maybe figure out some sort of workaround.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And then from there, I think the last question to ask yourself is, could you live up to your own standards? If you were friends with yourself, if you were dating yourself, Would you live up to your own expectations? If your expectations for others are really that high, chances are you wouldn't be able to live up. And that's something that's important to be aware of. So anyway, let's move on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
with our standards to find that state of Goldilocks standards, because there are a bunch of variables in our lives that directly impact our standards. And those variables are constantly changing, evolving, fluctuating. And as a result, our standards are all over the place. You know, I know for me, I constantly have to keep my standards in check.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Somebody said, I keep getting into situationships and I'm tired. How do I find something real? okay, this is going to sound really harsh, but I can promise you that it's not. I'm saying it with love. And this is something that I've struggled with before too. Okay. So like, don't feel offended. Okay. Let's not get offended today. We're, we are in a safe space here. Okay. Let's not get offended.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
Hello, and welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on, and I give you my unprofessional advice. And today we're going to be discussing a very complex figure in our lives, and that would be our exes. Once we were lovers and now we're strangers. Once we showed them our butthole. Now we show them nothing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
Feed by hand for a playful moment, in a bowl for a creamy treat, or as a topper to make mealtime fun. Visit TemptationsTreats.com to learn more. Now let's get back to the episode. Somebody said I broke up with my boyfriend, but he still loves me and wants to stay in touch. What do I do? Well, a lot of people do not recommend staying in touch after a breakup. I'm one of those people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
If I look at the trajectory of everybody I've dated, you know, there's been some moments where like it's gone down, like the quality has gone down and then gone back up and then gone down again and then gone way back up. It's fluctuated. But the overall trajectory is improvement. Like from my first relationship ever to my more recent relationships. Do you know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
The improvement is like exponential from an understanding standpoint, from a connection standpoint, from a chemistry standpoint. Things have only gotten better. And that's because I know from all these experiences what I'm looking for now. I know what that click feels like even more so now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
You know, I'm building on what I want in a relationship and it's making my eye, like I have a more keen eye in dating now. And so my relationship quality is improving over time. So don't be afraid. But also, there is a slim chance, I'm saying slim because I don't know, you know, usually after you break up, it's like, okay, there's probably a reason why that didn't work.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
But there's still a slim chance that that is the person for you. That's not out of the question either. Sometimes it's right person, wrong time. That absolutely happens. And I absolutely believe in that. Do I think it's somewhat rare? Yes. Because I think a lot of times we say that to ourselves to comfort ourselves in a breakup.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
But then ultimately, like two, three years later, we're like, wait a minute. Thank God we broke up. Like that was a catastrophe. And, you know, on to greener pastures. But, you know, like don't necessarily discount this person and say like, well, you know, we broke up. So I guess, you know, it has to be over forever. Not necessarily. I mean, I think it's best to try to move on.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
And if you find each other again later, that's beautiful. But that is absolutely possible. So you should keep your mind open and not be like, well, that was it. You know, that's the best I'm ever going to do. And yeah. be close-minded like that.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Because even if this person is who you're going to ultimately marry and have a family with one day, because this person is perfect for you or not, there's no such thing as perfect for you, but this person is just ultimately who you're meant to be with. You could still technically find somebody else who could be equally as good. There's like, I don't necessarily believe in like soulmate.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
I don't know. I go back and forth on it. I, My opinion on it is ever-changing, but right now in this exact moment, I don't believe in the soulmate of it all. Weirdly, I think I believed in the soulmate of it all more when I was in unhealthy relationships where I was dating avoidant guys that didn't fully like me back. I almost was turning to the concept of soulmate out of desperation.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
How do I explain this? I was like... I don't feel like he fully loves me, but we're soulmates, right? So we're going to be together forever, right? Because we're soulmates. Whereas more recently, in more healthier experiences, I don't feel the need to almost turn to a spiritual... I'm just like, this relationship is good and beautiful now. And I think that he loves me and I love him.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
And I trust that the feeling is mutual. I'm not like, but we're soulmates and we'll end up together. And he likes me, right? And I'm not on edge. I'm like, calm, you know? So I don't know. The concept of soulmates, I think, is complicated. And I'm not saying it's not real. I'm not saying I fully understand it.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
I'm not saying, but my experience is I tend to think in terms of soulmate when I'm in an insecure relationship. It's just, there's a weird connection there. So keep an eye out for that. But anyway, ultimately your question was, how do I move on? You move on by convincing yourself that that is a limiting belief, by convincing yourself that that is not true because it's not.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
And then going with the flow, okay? Not forcing anything. Don't force yourself to find someone new. Don't force yourself to get back together with your ex. Let things come. You know what I'm saying? Like... Don't chase. Attract. Just let things come. Okay? Let yourself flirt with whoever you want to flirt with. If you really want to text your ex and be like, let's go get fucking coffee.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
God damn it. It's been a year. Let's just do it. Do it. Why not? Follow your intuition. Follow your gut. Let things come. Let things come.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
I tend to believe that it's best to give each other at least a few months of space after the breakup to properly start the healing process. Otherwise, it's impossible. If you stay in touch, it's impossible. Every time you speak to your ex, it's like ripping off the Band-Aid again from the wound that was created from the breakup.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Okay, next, somebody said, how do I deal with my family wanting my ex to still be involved in my life? We are family friends and it's hard to properly cope while we still see each other almost every week. This is incredibly, incredibly, incredibly, incredibly, incredibly challenging.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
It is so challenging because, again, as I mentioned earlier, it is so hard to heal when you're around each other all the time. And the truth of the matter is, I think in this situation, it's just an unfortunate circumstance where you are ultimately being faced with a more challenging healing period, healing experience, healing journey. these are just the cards that you were dealt.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
You know, for majority of people, it's up to them if they do no contact or whatever. It is out of your control. This is a family friend. You don't have a choice. So I think you have to accept that your healing journey is going to be more challenging because you see them every week, because every week you have to rip off the bandaid and
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
And you have to pour salt into the wound and then put the band-aid back on and it burns and it stings and it starts to get infected. And then, you know, by the end of the week, it's starting to look a little bit better and then you rip the band-aid off all over again. You have to sort of accept that this is the cards that you were dealt in your life.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
This is just... This is what happens when you date a family friend. You know, this is... how this works. This is a risk that you take when you date somebody who you know that you're going to have to see frequently if you ever break up. That's a risk you take. So I think to start, you need to sort of accept this circumstance. I do think it's unhealthy to avoid family get togethers.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Like, I don't think that that's You know, maybe there's a way that you could figure out like, OK, you know what? I'm going to avoid situations where I know my ex is going to be around in family gatherings for the next three months just so that I can get over the hump and start to heal a little bit.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Maybe you figure something out with your family or your family, friends, family, or like maybe you and the ex switch off every week. Like every gathering that there is, you switch off. Maybe there's a way that for a certain period of time, you guys can do that to start to heal. But if that's not realistic, then I honestly think I genuinely don't have any further advice.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
My advice is you have to just accept that your healing process is going to take longer because you're going to be exposed to this person. And I think communication and boundaries with your ex are going to be so important. You know, discuss what's going to make it easiest for each other. Do you want to talk to each other? Do you want to avoid each other?
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Like what is going to make the experience as seamless as possible? It's one of those situations where it just sucks, I think. But, you know, I would say in general in your life, I think it's really important to develop a really strong life outside of the relationship. That should be your focus during this time because you need it even more than the average person going through a breakup.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
You know, you more than anyone need to have hobbies together. need to pick up a guitar and start playing guitar, need to start drawing, need to start going to pottery classes, need to start going to yoga classes. You need to be disciplined with yourself and be taking care of yourself. You need to create a really solid, positive lifestyle. Because that really helps with challenging moments.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
And then like pouring salt into it and like putting bacteria into it and like causing an infection. And then, you know, when you stop talking again, then you start healing again. And, you know, you put Neosporin on it and you put a Band-Aid and maybe you get stitches and it's good. And then you talk to them again and then you rip out all the stitches and then you pour more salt in it.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
When your life is good, challenges aren't as challenging. They're still absolutely challenging. But it's like if you had a really beautiful, great, productive, awesome week, when you see your ex at the end of the week with your family, it might still hurt, but it'll hurt less because you feel good. You know what I mean? Your baseline is stronger.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
So I would definitely recommend, you know, focus on yourself as much as you possibly can so that you're in as good of a place as possible whenever you're faced with this, which it sounds like is kind of frequently. And I ultimately just wish you luck because I know it's tough.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Next, somebody said, feeling lost in love, broke up with my four-year relationship and I'm having fun with friends and family, but I do miss him. Do I stick with being single? It sounds like you're asking me, do I stick with being single or do I get back together with my ex? In these types of moments, you need to ask yourself, why did we break up?
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Was it because one of you was dealing with a psychological challenge and wanted to deal with it on your own? Was it because you weren't compatible? Was it because you were both deeply unhappy? Why? Now you need to ask yourself, is that something that could be resolved by now? If we were to get back together now, Would it be different? Is it even possible that it could be different?
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
If you are not compatible in the relationship, for the most part, there's a good chance that that is not resolved. You know what I'm saying? That may never be resolved. That's a fundamental issue that may never, probably will never be fixed.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
If you broke up because you moved to another city, but then you like move back and now you guys are in the same city again and you miss him and you're like, well, maybe we'll try it again. Okay. Like maybe, you know, that wasn't more of a locational issue and you guys didn't want to do long distance. Okay. Maybe that makes sense then. Like truly ask yourself, is it going to be different this time?
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Does it make sense to get back together? Is there like a rational reason to try it again? Yeah. Most of the time, you're going to find the answer is no. And you broke up for a reason. And if you were to get back together now, things wouldn't be different. And so it's best to not open that door. It's completely normal to miss your ex and be like, I would love to hang out with them right now.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
I'm actually enjoying my life. My life is fun, but I really miss them. And I actually wish that they were a part of my life still. I want to reintegrate them into my life. It's normal to feel that way. But most of the time, when you look a bit deeper, you'll realize that your feelings are irrational. Or no, they're not irrational.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Your feelings of missing your ex are completely rational and normal. But your feelings of wanting to get back together with your ex are usually irrational because they're rooted in deep emotion, like of being sad and of mourning the relationship. They're not rooted in like, well, logistically, it's been six months and So that means that they've probably worked through this, this, and that problem.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
And then you, you see what I'm saying? It's like kind of impossible to heal if you're still in contact because every time you talk, you're ripping off the Band-Aid again and making the wound worse. However, that's not a one-size-fits-all sort of solution or path forward. Everybody's different. Every relationship is different. And you have to ask yourself what you need. Listen,
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
No, they probably haven't. They're the exact... Majority of the time, they're the exact same as they were when you broke up. Nothing will be different. Things might even be worse. Who knows?
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
But I will say, I've heard some beautiful love stories about people who have broken up and then gotten back together later, and it's been beautiful the second time around, and both people learned and evolved and changed and realized, you know what, I ultimately...
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
do want to be with this person and I learned so much from the failures of the last relationship and I'm ready to try again and it's successful and they get married and they have children and you know everything is happy ever after so you know it's not necessarily out of the question like maybe it does make sense to get back together at some point but I think in order to make that decision you have to be healed to the point where you're okay with the concept of it not being them
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Like, you need to be coming from a place of strength where you're like, I could live without them. But I've dated around, I've seen my options. And to be honest, like, they're still the best I ever had. And I want to give it a try again. You know? Yeah. Okay, moving on. Somebody said, I dated this guy for a really short time in the summer.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
And for some reason, it's the hardest relationship for me to get over. Why this one? Help. I get it. I get it. You want to know why it's so much harder to get over somebody that you never dated? Because they were never real to you. Real people are deeply flawed. And the more you get to know somebody, the more aware you become of their flaws.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
And if you love somebody truly, you accept those flaws as characteristics of the person that you love. And you find ways to manage those unfavorable qualities. But to truly know a person, to truly be close to a person is to be aware of their flaws. If you never dated this person, then you were never close enough with them to truly see their flaws.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Your perception of them was them being on their best behavior because you weren't that close, so they were still on their best behavior. combined with what you imagine them to be. You are filling in all the gaps where their flaws would be with these beautiful ideas of how romantic they probably are, how like, I don't know, like hot they are, how mysterious they are.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Like, I don't know, you're filling in the gaps with all this romantic, fake, imaginative bullshit. Your perception of this person was based on illusion 100%. Your own illusion and the illusion that they were giving you because they're on their best behavior, because you were in the honeymoon stage, if even that. You were in the beginning stages of... You didn't even know each other.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
That's why it's so hard because you have nothing to grasp onto that was negative. It's really helpful when going through a breakup to be like, I'm really sad. I'm in a lot of pain. I really love this person. But also... they fucking sucked in all these different ways. There's something really helpful about that. That is something that we all grasp onto when we're going through a breakup.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
We find the flaws in our ex and we hold onto those for dear life because that's what helps us find peace in the breakup. If you never even dated them and you never saw the flaws, you have nothing to grasp onto. That's why it's so hard.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
So to try to help the discomfort, remind yourself that there were flaws and there are flaws about this person that you have no idea about that would probably drive you fucking crazy, okay? They are there. They are in that person. You just don't know what they are because you never got close enough.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
But I think to remind yourself that they had flaws that would probably drive you fucking crazy is helpful. And it's hard to imagine... Because we tend to see people, especially people we have a crush on or something, with rose-colored glasses. And so it can be really hard to break that pattern of thought and be like, no, they actually are a flawed person. Because from all we know, no, they're not.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
They're perfect. But I really encourage you to remind yourself whenever you can that they're probably a nightmare. Because everyone's a nightmare. Dating is a nightmare. Dating, even the most perfect... person for you is a fucking nightmare sometimes. That is inevitable. And I'd argue if you're in a relationship and you don't have moments where you're like, oh my God, this is a nightmare.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Your ex might still love you and they might really want to stay in contact. But now that you're broken up, you need to ask yourself what you need. You're not in a partnership with this person anymore. Their needs are no longer your responsibility. And they weren't really before. But when you are in a relationship, you do need to be more attentive. You do need to pay attention.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Like, I can't, this is horrible. You're lying to yourself. Maybe that's a hot take, but I think... the whole point of relationships is that there's push and there's pull and both of you make mistakes and then you help each other learn from them. And sometimes you take shit out on each other and, you know, you show each other the worst and darkest sides of yourselves.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
And then together you work on, you know, improving on those sides or, you know, you learn how to deal with them. And then that teaches you how to be a more patient person. Like the reason why relationships can be so beautifully educational is as students of life, is because it's challenging. You know? So...
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Anyways, yeah, this guy that you dated for a really short time in the summer is basically, it's like an imaginary friend, okay? This is not even a real person at this point. You didn't date him for long enough. So you think he's perfect because you absolutely know nothing about him. He's still a stranger to you. Yeah, maybe you had sex. Yeah, maybe you talked really late that one night.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Okay. Moving on. Somebody said, what to do if I broke things off with a guy who loved me so much and now two months later, I want him back. I actually think I've discussed something like this on advice session before, but I can't remember. Either way, it doesn't matter because we all need to be reminded of this moral dilemma, okay? Because it's not a fun one.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Well, I think to start, you need to accept that you made a decision. You made a decision. You made the decision to break things off with this person when you did. And now you're starting over with this person. You have to win them over all over again if they're even available to be won over. They owe you nothing. You know what I'm saying? And...
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
I think breakups are often not thought about as deeply as they should be. I think a lot of people think immediately when they're going through a rough patch in a relationship, like, oh, this is unfixable. Things were so awesome for so long, you know, and now all of a sudden they suck. So I guess we have to break up now. Relationships have ups and downs.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
And, you know, it's up to you to decide what ups and downs you're willing to go through.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
But I think we tend to have an issue that breaks up too easily in society today, like because of hookup culture and sort of the weight being removed from relationships, like relationships and sex and all these things used to hold a lot of weight and now they hold less and people are much less willing to work through challenge. Yeah. I think, than they used to be.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Because I think the decision of marriage, losing your virginity, these things you saved and you waited until it was the perfect person you thought. You put a lot of weight on it. And then when challenges would arise, you would handle them because you committed to this person and you showed that commitment through losing your virginity to them and all of these things.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
And I'm not saying that that's necessarily the right way to look at it. I'm just saying that That is how it used to be perceived. And now it's like sex is less taboo. Casual sex is much more popular. You know, casual dating is much more popular. There's just less...
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
You do need to be more thoughtful of your partner's feelings. In theory, you know, that's, I think, healthy. But once you're broken up... you are now, like there is no relationship anymore. You are back in a relationship with yourself in a new way.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
the relationship today is less sacred and as a result we'll just break up anytime shit gets tough because we're like fuck it i'll find somebody else i could go on the app on on an app tonight and find somebody else to have sex with immediately you know what i'm saying and i don't care so it's just a different mindset and again i'm not saying one is right or one is wrong but
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
They both probably have their flaws. They both do have their flaws. But I think that this is an opportunity, you in this moment, realizing two months after breaking things off with a guy who really loved you, you're realizing, oh my God, I fucked up. I want to get back together. And you're faced with this sort of pain of like, oh my God, did I, I made the wrong decision.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
And I think a lot of people are faced with this nowadays because we break up so easily. And it's not fair to the other person. You know, we need to really think when we break up with people. We need to really try to make it work. You know, there are moments in every relationship where you're going to be like, I want to break up. But breaking up is not the right idea. Do you know what I mean?
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Instead, it's an opportunity for both of you to grow. It's an opportunity to even strengthen your relationship through facing the challenge together. And if you just run away the second that things get challenging, you know, then you will regret it and you will also not learn. So my first piece of advice is to take this as a learning experience.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Because there's a chance that you might not get this guy back. Listen, you can go back to him and apologize and say, I was wrong. I want to be together. I took your love for granted. You know, yeah, you can go back and do the whole thing and say the whole thing. He might not take you back because you hurt him. He loved you and you did not love him equally for whatever reason.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
And you didn't try to look inside and figure out what did I, why am I not able to love him back? Why do I not want to be with him? He loves me so much. Why don't I? You didn't look inward. Instead, you just said, let's break up. And then two months later, you regretted it. Now he's hurting. So he might not take you back. And that's something you might have to accept.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Either way, you need to learn from this experience. But you're not a bad person. I know I just kind of like kind of was hard on you for a moment. It is okay to make, like, it's okay to make mistakes. We're going to make mistakes in relationships. I'm being harsh because I think that this is a really important learning opportunity. And if you don't learn from it, you'll do it again.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
And this feeling fucking sucks. So hopefully you learn from it. And you know what? I wish you luck. If he really did love you a lot, there's a good chance he'll take you back, but you never know. And you might have to move on and Take it as a lesson so that you never do it again. And that's it. That's it. That is all I have for today. That's it. I hope you all enjoyed it.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
You should always have a relationship with yourself, even when you're in a romantic relationship with somebody else, but you're not taking any of your attention and putting it on anyone else anymore. Now your attention needs to be on yourself again. Maybe your friends and your family and your loved ones, but anyway, it doesn't matter. You are not putting effort into compromising yourself
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
And if you did, tune in to Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday on YouTube or Spotify if you want to watch or just anywhere you stream podcasts if you want to listen. Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes. I'm on social media at Emma Chamberlain. My coffee company is at chamberlaincoffee.com. We're potentially even in stores near you. You can check out the store locator online.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
We're on social media at Chamberlain Coffee. And we have a cafe in Los Angeles if you want to go check that out and you're in the area. And I think that that's all I have to say. I hope that you all enjoyed this advice session. I hope that you got something from it. I kind of have to go pee, so I'm going to go do that. I'm going to go handle that. And I guess I'll talk to you all later.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
I absolutely love you and appreciate you. And it's always a pleasure when we get to hang out via Anything Goes podcast. I love getting to hang out with you. So thank you for hanging out with me. And I'll talk to you very, very soon. Okay, love you all. Talk to you later. Bye.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
with this person anymore. You're not together anymore. So forget what your ex wants. Forget what's going to make them happy. That's not your concern anymore. Now it's you. What do you want?
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
And if you know deep down that it's best for both of you, but especially you, to be in a situation where there's no contact, potentially indefinitely, maybe for a certain amount of months, then that's what you need to communicate to your ex. You need to say, listen, neither of us are going to be able to heal, but especially me, I'm not going to be able to heal if we're still in contact.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
So this just isn't going to work. Sorry. It's just not gonna work. If I see you around, you know, great. Wish me a happy birthday maybe, but like, that's it. You know, I just, this isn't gonna work.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Once it brought us joy and pleasure to see them at the end of the day. Now It brings us fear and anxiety and pain to see them at the end of the day, perhaps at a bar or maybe at a party or at a restaurant. It causes almost always negative emotions. And even if it causes positive emotions and you're happy to see your ex, there's usually some sort of negative undertone.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Also, if you're concerned about potentially, you know, getting back together irrationally because you're in so much pain from the breakup, you both are in so much pain from the breakup that potentially you'd get back together irrationally. And that's something that you really don't want to do. You know, whatever the reason is, if that is how you feel, that is absolutely okay and fine.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
And that is what you need to communicate to your ex. However, if you're like, you know what, I'm not fully ready to let go. I want to continue to be in contact with my ex. I mean, there are definitely risks involved. I mentioned them already. You might get back together, even though it's a bad idea because things probably have not changed yet. It takes a long time.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Sometimes it takes forever or it never even happens for people to evolve and change into a way that makes them compatible with you. It might also extend the healing process to an excruciatingly long time. You know, I think as long as you're aware of the risks of continuing to talk, if you decide that what you really want to do is stay in contact, that's also okay.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
But you also should be aware that that's going to be really, really painful for your ex who still loves you. Like, It's going to be so turbulent for them. I don't know. I always err on the side of no contact, at least for like six months. But if you absolutely can't handle that and you're aware of the risks, but you're willing to risk it, then do that.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
It's ultimately up to you, but you got to know the risks of staying in contact. That shit gets freaking messy. It feels good, but it's a mess. It is a mess. You can't heal. You really can't heal. All right, moving on. Somebody said, I'm over my ex and don't want to be with him, but I do still think about him in our breakup daily. Is that normal? Absolutely. And if it's not, both of us are freaks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
Because, I mean, I don't think about my exes every day. I mean, I have a few of them. I have quite a few of them. But there have been long periods after each ex where I've thought about them daily. Sometimes it's taken a few months to stop thinking about them daily. Other times it's taken years. With my more serious relationships, it's absolutely taken years.
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obsessed with your ex, advice session
Even when I've moved on, it doesn't matter, you know? Like, I think my first relationship is a great example of that. It took me probably three and a half, four years to fully stop thinking about that relationship on a consistent basis because it was so monumental. It was so impactful. And I didn't fully get over it for a really long time, you know? And so... I think it's absolutely normal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
And again, that goes back to what I said in the beginning of this episode. It's so unnatural to be that close with somebody, to literally be naked in front of them, have sex with them, poop with them around, not maybe in the bathroom with you, but around, tell them everything, talk to them every day, know every single detail about their life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
And then all of a sudden one day you break up, usually not out of nowhere, but you break up. And then there's this jarring split where now... It's not ideal to be talking to them and you know nothing about them. And it's very uncomfortable. And a lot of us find comfort in this sort of routine of like knowing what's going on with our partner.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
And then when that's ripped away from us, there's something like really... I don't know, our partners bring us like a sense of foundation. Like our partners are very significant people in our lives. You know, they can become almost like family in a way, not in an incestual way, but in like a, oh my God, we're so close. We're almost like, we're like familial in that way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
Not again, not in an incestual way, but you get what I'm saying. Like they even sort of technically become family. They're going to our Christmases. They're going to our Thanksgivings. They're going... on vacations with us, we sleep with them in bed almost every night. You know what I'm saying? They become a part of our foundation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
It's very unnatural to date somebody and be incredibly close to them and then one day break up and then become complete strangers, right? It's a very unnatural experience, and it's very painful, and it's very weird, and it's very complicated. And today, I'm gonna do my best to give you advice about it, okay? So without further ado, let's begin.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
And when we break up, a piece of our foundation is ripped from beneath us and we're no longer standing on as sturdy of ground, metaphorically, and it feels uncomfortable and scary and weird. And in a weird way, I think thinking about our exes, checking in on what our exes are doing on social media, You know, asking around about what they've been up to whenever we can or whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
That type of behavior, I think, is normal because it's our attempt to fill that void in our foundation, like try to feel close to them in a way, because that brought us together. A level of strength that brought us like foundation. Now it's gone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
And the closest we can get to that feeling again is knowing what they're up to, thinking about them every day, feeling connected to them in more abstract ways like that. I think it's natural. I think it's normal. And I think it makes complete sense. And unfortunately, there's no way to expedite the process. Like, listen, I fucking wish I could go to a, well, I guess I could technically do this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
It's tempting to like go to a hypnotist and be like, can you just hypnotize me so that I don't think about my ex anymore? It's especially challenging when you found somebody new and you're like, oh my God, this person's great. This person's so much better. I am moved on to this person. I'm fully committed to this person, but I'm still fucking thinking about my ex.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
Because you're just not moved on yet for whatever reason completely. You're maybe moved on in the sense that you don't want to get back together with them, but you're not moved on in the sense that they're still in your head. You know, you still are sort of connected to them in some way. It sucks. It fucking sucks. But there is no other remedy for that than time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
You know, you just have to be patient with yourself. And listen, there are ways to sort of pivot your mindset and be like, okay, you know what? We're thinking about our ex. Let's think about something else. You know, you can find different ways to sort of reroute your train of thought.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
If you start thinking about your ex, maybe you sort of decide like, okay, every time I think about my ex, I'm going to retrain my brain to start thinking about like this creative project or I'm going to go do chores. Like, I don't know. There are ways to train your brain to stop thinking about your ex. But to be honest, I think the only thing that solves it is time. Sorry.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
But to answer your question, I think it's normal. And I have done it after every single relationship for months to years. And I don't think that... There's anything wrong with that. And to be honest, your ex is thinking about you every day too, okay? We tend to assume that we are down worse than our exes. Sometimes it's true to an extent, but breakups are hard for absolutely everyone. Everyone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
Even if your ex cheated on you, like, it doesn't matter. It's always hard. Because being that close to somebody, being that bonded to somebody... means something to everybody. It's a deep, significant emotion for everybody. So it's impossible to break up and then immediately forget about your ex.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
And it's especially challenging if you or your ex maybe move on quickly because maybe you just found somebody new who's awesome. And then the person who didn't move on quickly is like, oh my God, they obviously, you know, never loved me that deeply. They just moved on and like, six months. Like, how is that even possible? They still are thinking about you every day. Eventually they won't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
And eventually you won't. But you know what I'm saying here? Anyway. Okay, moving on. Somebody said, I still feel like my ex is the only person who has ever understood me. And I'm scared there isn't anyone else out there for me. Another soulmate. How do I move on? I'm about to say something that might come off as rude. And I do not mean it like that. But I've felt this way before.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode of Anything Goes is presented by Temptations Cat Treats. Your cat will come running for the perfectly irresistible Temptations creamy puree and Temptations lickable spoon cat treats. The best time to feed lickable cat treats to your cat is anytime.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
And then at some point, somebody said what I'm about to say to me, either through the internet, meaning they didn't say it directly to me, they just said it on the internet and I heard it, or somebody said it to me, I don't remember. But this stuck with me, even though I can't remember who said it. And I'm gonna butcher it too. I have no idea even how to word it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
I just have the vague idea in my head. There are seven, maybe even eight billion people on this planet. And we are all beautifully unique and special and individual. And that's awesome. But at the same time, we're not so special and so unique and so different that there's only one other person out there in the world that understands us. Does that make sense? Like, we're not that special.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
We're not that different. We're not that unique. We're not that hard to understand. And the same goes for our partners, right? Like our partner is not so special, so unique that there's not anyone else out there. Listen, I'm all about cherishing and celebrating our uniqueness. And I am not trying to take away anything.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
our individuality, because I do think that we are all, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not trying to degrade humankind here. To me, it's actually sort of a beautiful thing that like, humanity has a range. Like, there are only so many different types of personalities. And like, the moral of the story is, there is absolutely somebody else out there for you. Your ex is
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
is not the only person on the planet who understands you. That, from a statistics standpoint or a numbers standpoint, doesn't add up. The idea that out of the 7, 8 billion people on the planet, there's only one person on this planet that's ever going to understand you, I'm sorry. It just doesn't add up. Mathematically, it doesn't add up. And that really helped me when I...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
was going through my first breakup because I was like, I've never experienced a feeling like this where I felt like, you know, so deeply connected to somebody like this. There's no way I'll ever feel that way again. And, you know, I will say in defense of your fear, you will never feel the exact same way again with someone else.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
You know, your unique experience and your unique set of feelings with your ex are unique to that person. The way that they understand you is unique to them. And you'll never find something exactly like it again, but there's a good chance that you could find something better or just as good, but just a little bit different. You know what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
It's a normal feeling to be like, oh my God, I'm never going to be able to outdo this feeling. I'm never going to be able to replicate it. And that is somewhat true because it'll never be exactly the same, but it'll be just as good or better if you keep searching. I really do believe that. And in my experiences throughout my life in many different romantic relationships, I've
anything goes with emma chamberlain
obsessed with your ex, advice session
I actually think that for the most part, my feelings of love and understanding have progressively gotten deeper and better for the most part in every relationship. Not really. There's been some like, if you were to look at the overall trajectory over the last, what, how many years have I been dating people? Yeah. Like seven, eight years.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Well, hey there, and welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes, where you send in your current dilemmas or anything, and I mean anything, you want advice on, and I give you my own professional advice. And today's topic is people-pleasing, which is something that I struggled with for many years, but am slowly but surely getting better at managing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
It's always there and it affects everything in my life. I never feel comfortable. I will say this probably has something to do with the way that you were raised, your relationship with your family. I feel like a lot of times, at least with myself, when there's lingering negative feelings that have stuck with me for more than a few years at a time, I know that...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
There's a good chance that it stems from something developmental, you know, like when I was in my developmental years. And so I do think this is a good one to bring to a therapist if you have one. But actually, I'm curious. I want to Google this actually and see what comes up. According to Healthline, chronic guilt. This type of guilt happens from prolonged exposure to stress.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Chronic guilt affects a person's ability to regulate their emotions. A teacher, for example, may feel overworked and emotionally drained and can affect relationships with students. The resulting guilt becomes a symptom of chronic work-related stress or burnout. Some researchers argue for the inclusion of guilt in clinical evaluations of burnout.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Chronic guilt can also occur with episodes of major depression. It sounds like you have chronic guilt because there's other types of guilt, according to Healthline.com. There's natural guilt, which is guilt that occurs after you did something morally wrong. Chronic guilt, which is a type of guilt that happens from prolonged exposure to stress, which I just described prior to natural guilt.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
And you sort of have to accept that. That's just inevitable. But when it comes to the act of standing up for yourself, how do you do it without being mean? Well, it's simple. It comes down to your tone and your wording. When it comes to tone, I think it's very important to try your best to stay calm, to keep things somewhat casual in a way. In my experience, confrontation...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Collective guilt. This type involves a sense of group or shared responsibility. Residents of a city may experience collective guilt about people experiencing homelessness, etc. And last but not least, survivor guilt. Traumatic events such as witnessing a large-scale tragedy may cause feelings of remorse and sadness.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
This could look like somebody surviving an accident and then feeling guilty for the people who did not. So it sounds like you have chronic guilt. I really do think that a lot of times these sorts of chronic feelings of prolonged distress, whether it's guilt or it's low self-esteem or whatever, like a lot of these things stem from something in your past.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
And so I think if you can find somebody to talk to about it, whether it's a therapist or a family member or a friend, Try to get to the bottom of where it stems from. Do you feel guilty because maybe you feel like a burden because of something that happened when you were a child? Is it because you had a traumatic event maybe where somebody in your life...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
passed away and you never got to say goodbye. Like, is there something in your past that has clung to you so tightly that it's not allowed you to let go of that guilt? I think becoming aware of the root cause can be so helpful. And I think it's hard to do alone. So if you can find somebody to talk to, ideally a professional, I think that can really help.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
And then from there, I think really my greatest piece of advice would be to try to retrain your thought patterns. You know, something that I do anytime I have routine negative thought patterns is I start to try to get into the routine of correcting my negative thoughts. So in your case, anytime you feel guilty and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
instead of allowing yourself to sit in that guilt, take a little bit of action and think to yourself, wait a minute, I have nothing to feel guilty about. And instead, name three things in your head that you're proud of yourself for, that you're grateful for. Basically, by becoming aware of your negative thoughts and anytime they come up,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
pivoting and doing some other more positive exercise in your mind you're slowly but surely sort of training your brain to stop thinking like that in a way and listen this is hard to do and it isn't always the solution but that's something that I've done that has helped me on occasion with having negative thoughts like for example with for me anxious thoughts catastrophic thoughts
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
as my mom calls them, scary thoughts, where I think about bad things happening to me, to my loved ones, where I think about tragedies happening, where I think about just catastrophe. I have a tendency to obsess about scary thoughts, as my mom calls them. And this is, as a result of my anxiety, something that I really work on is every time I have a catastrophic, anxious sort of
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
tragic thought like i'll just be like sitting recording a podcast and then i'll think about like i'll imagine like a graphic scene of like me getting in a car accident and dying or somebody i love getting into it you know and then i have to knock on wood because i'm fucking superstitious i'll try to close my eyes and think of a happy place and i know it sounds cringe but it's
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
I'll try to think of a happy place and I'll be vulnerable here and share my happy place. I think of me in my childhood bed. I close my eyes and when I close my eyes, I see me laying in my childhood bed from an aerial view from like, if there were a camera,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
attached to the lamp or to the light fixture in the middle of my room pointing at my bed that is what I see I see me curled up cozy in my childhood bed and I just sit there and I imagine that and sometimes I'll even imagine my parents sitting there maybe rubbing my back like I I will really think about that I'm like getting choked up fuck I like I it's it's very comforting for me and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
And now I have to move on because I'm getting emotional. I got a little choked up thinking about my happy place. Now my ears are burning. I really do think that there's value in trying to, you know, pivot those negative reoccurring thoughts. Next, somebody said, I feel like I'm being annoying when I ask to hang out with friends. How do I reframe that?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
I totally get this because I hate asking people to hang out unless I'm like really close with them. Like if it's like my boyfriend, actually, I shouldn't even say that. I've been nervous to ask boyfriends to hang out. I've thought I've been like, oh, they think I'm annoying for asking to hang out. But in a healthy relationship, it's never weird to ask to hang out with a boyfriend.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
goes the best when the other person doesn't feel attacked. Right. Instead of being like, hey, yeah, you did this. What? Instead, being like, hey, you know what? You did this. And it's like the immediate response from the other person when you approach the conversation in the second tone is that I displayed is automatically going to be 100% better.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
In healthy friendships that are really close and really deep and really intimate and almost family-like, I'm not feeling weird or guilty about asking to hang out. But with people I'm a little bit less close to, people who aren't in my most close inner circle... I still struggle with this at times. I don't necessarily feel annoying, but I feel like I'm smothering them or something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
But I also feel vulnerable because I'm opening myself up to being rejected. And it's hard for me. It's always been sort of hard for me. But let's reverse the roles here. Imagine your friends asked you to hang out. How does that make you feel? It's not annoying, is it? No, it's awesome. It's like, fuck yeah, I want to hang out. Let's hang out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
There's nothing annoying about asking your friends to hang out. I think it's annoying if you ask your friends to hang out and they say, oh, no, we're busy. And then you say, oh, well, can you cancel your plans? Like, let's hang out. Yeah, that's annoying. But you're not doing that. You're just saying, hey, what are you guys doing today? Want to hang out? They say, yes, let's do it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Or they say, no, we're busy. And if you respond and say, OK, no worries. Sounds good. That's not annoying. There's nothing about that that's annoying. So remember how it feels when others ask you to hang out and let that comfort you. It's never annoying. Are you ever annoyed when people ask you to hang out? Probably not. So keep that in mind.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
But I will also flag that it is a bit concerning that you feel annoying when you ask your friends to hang out. That could also mean that you're not compatible with your friends. If you're really, really tight with your friends and you trust them and they make you feel safe to be yourself, chances are you're not going to be nervous about asking them to hang out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
You're not going to feel annoying because you're beyond that in your relationship. You know what I mean? You're not worried about being judged by them. You're beyond that point.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
So, you know, I think that this might be an invitation for you to reevaluate your friendship because if you're worried about being annoying, chances are there's something that they're doing that's making you think that you're being annoying. And that's sometimes a red flag. Could also just be that you're really nervous and you're really afraid of being vulnerable in friendship. And
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
So you always think that you're being annoying. But in my experience, a lot of times in close friendship or relationship, if you feel annoying when you ask, chances are it's because you're not compatible and these aren't the right people for you. So check in. I might be wrong. It might be more of a you problem. but there's a chance that it might be them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Somebody said, how to feel less like a burden to your friends. I want to tell people the hard stuff in my life, but I don't want to bother them or burden them. Well, interestingly enough, I find that when people are vulnerable with me and share their challenges and share their struggles, it makes me feel less alone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
I am all about vulnerable conversations with my friends because not only does it allow me to understand them as a person better, But it also puts into perspective my own struggles in my life. Wait a minute. Okay. My friend is struggling. I'm struggling. Everyone's always struggling. You know what I mean? This is just life, right? I really do think that sharing the hard stuff works.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
with your friends is the way to build a deeper bond and also genuinely beneficial to both members of the friendship. It's beneficial for you because you get to vent and open up to your friends and, I don't know, show another dimension of yourself to them. But it's also beneficial to your friends because they feel less alone. Their struggles are put into perspective. Everyone wins, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Don't feel guilty. Don't feel annoying. Don't feel weird about being vulnerable. As long as you're not putting it on them to solve the problem, you have no problem. Listen, if you're like opening up to your friends, like, I'm really sad. My boyfriend cheated on me and I need you to help me. That's not good because what is your friend supposed to do? Like, that's an impossible ask.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Then it becomes burdensome. But if you just want to vent and tell your story, nothing about that is burdensome. Nothing. I can almost guarantee that they will be touched, that you feel comfortable enough to open up to them, and it'll actually make them feel less alone. Vulnerable stories are the great connector of human beings, I think. And so don't stop yourself because you feel like a burden.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
The second that somebody gets yelled at, before they even can comprehend what's being said, they're putting their defenses up. They're like closing themselves off. If you approach a confrontational conversation with a respectful, kind, non-threatening tone, the person you're talking to will not feel defensive. You know, their immediate response will not be to get defensive.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
And last but not least, two people asked me questions about how to stop letting people walk all over you. Someone said, how to deal with feeling like people are walking all over you and taking advantage of your kindness. I love being kind, but I hate being treated like that. And someone else said, how to set boundaries and not let people walk all over you. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
So I really do think that one of the best ways to stop letting people walk all over you is to exit these types of situations, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
If you're hanging out with your friends and all of a sudden they're like asking you to get them a glass of water and then they're like making fun of you and using you as the butt of the joke and then they're asking you to like give them a back massage and then they're like, hey, can you run and get us all coffee? Like, leave, leave that situation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Say, you know what, you guys, I'm actually, I think I'm going to head home. I have stuff I got to do. I'm out of here. Or say, no, I'm not going to do that. I don't want to do that. I want to hang out with you guys. We're all hanging out together. Maybe we could all go grab the coffee. Maybe we could all book a group massage and we could all get a massage. I'm not doing it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
These are horrible examples, but you get the idea. Subtly, gently, even more subtly and gently than the tone I just used, because that was a bit more sarcastic. Subtly and gently be like, I got to go. Or no, I don't wanna do that actually. You can still be a kind person and draw the line and be like, okay, that I won't do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
And when it comes to being kind and doing helpful things for others, there are times when that feels really good and that's something that you wanna do, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
And you don't need to stop doing that, but it's when you don't wanna do it and you feel like people are taking advantage of your kindness and they're taking advantage of the fact that you'll say yes to anything, that's when you put your foot down, right? You can still be a nice person, you can still be helpful, you can still do people favors, but only when it's something you feel comfortable with.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Ask yourself every time somebody asks you to do something for them, is this something I really want to do? Do I feel like I'm being taken advantage of? And if the answer is yes, then unfortunately, because it sucks for us people pleasers, you have to be like, all right. no, I can't do that. I'm so sorry. I love you, but no, I can't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Or, you know, you guys like, I'm going to head out or, oh man, I actually don't have time to do that right now. Like whatever. And it sucks and it's hard. But I think over time that will actually create, you'll find that people respect you more when you have boundaries. People respect people who have boundaries.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
And then over time, people will just stop taking advantage of you because they'll learn that they can't. But there's this uncomfortable jump where you have to start saying no, you have to start walking away. And that's really uncomfortable. And I think if you feel comfortable enough to confront people when they do this, great, do it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
If you feel like somebody's taking advantage of your kindness, confront them if you feel comfortable doing that. But I think most of us probably aren't there yet in our lives. And so I think in the meantime... walking away or making a little excuse and setting the precedent, nah, I don't do shit I don't want to do. I don't let people take advantage of me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
That goes a long way and it makes it easier down the line because people just stop doing it. And that's it. That's it for today's episode of Advice Session. If you enjoyed it, new episodes of Advice Session every other Sunday, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. And Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
I'm on social media at Emma Chamberlain and my coffee company is Chamberlain Coffee. And you can find it online and in person and in various different places. Okay. It exists. It's out there. You can find it. I love you all. I appreciate you all. It's always a joy to get to hang out and chat and give you my own professional advice. And I hope that you enjoyed today's episode.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
And if you did, don't worry because I'll be chatting to you very soon. Okay. I love you all. And I'll talk to you later. Bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
They're going to respond to you like they normally do. You know what I mean? I think tone is very important. And chances are, if you're a people pleaser, you're not going to have a hard time with that. Because I feel like people pleasers... tend to communicate nicely, if even at all. You know, I think the average people pleaser is not raising their voice, is not yelling in confrontation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
So chances are you'll be fine. But now let's get to wording. Okay. Now, listen, you don't want to beat around the bush and you don't want to sugarcoat things because for a long time, I think I told myself I was good at communicating and good at confronting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
But I really wasn't because I was beating around the bush and I was sugarcoating things and I wasn't being 100% firm in confronting the other person. I was kind of wishy-washy with it. You know what I mean? I was kind of too gentle with it. So you don't want to be too gentle. But you also don't want to be too mean, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
I think it's important whenever you're confronting somebody to remember this is another human being. They have feelings. They make mistakes. They're not perfect. And they deserve a second chance a lot of times. Not always. Not always maybe a second chance. But they deserve at least like an opportunity to be confronted and then speak their mind and explain where they're coming from.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Being a people pleaser in theory is a good thing. You're pleasing people. Come on, how could that be harmful? But it is ultimately harmful to oneself to be a people pleaser. And I learned that the hard way time and time again throughout my life. And I still, to this day, Learn that the hard way over and over again. But over the years, I've gotten a lot better about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
So when it comes to the wording of everything, my suggestion would be to instead be pointing the finger and be like, you did this and you did this and you are bad and you suck and you stink and you and you're and you're poop and you smell like poop and you're poopy and you don't wipe. Instead of being like you, you, you, you be like. Keep a nice balance between here's how I'm feeling.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Here are some of your actions. Here are how those actions made me feel. Can you speak to why you did these things? Okay, now that makes more sense to me because I thought that you did these things because of this, but you actually did. You know what I'm saying? Instead of pointing the finger and saying, you did this because you're a bad person. Be like, you did this. It didn't make me feel good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Why did you do that? Instead of pointing the finger, balance a little bit of pointing the finger with sharing how you feel and also asking questions, asking, why did you do that? I think the combination of a respectful tone and thoughtful wording can make standing up for yourself not less scary, but... Undoubtedly polite. Like you don't have to feel guilt. Like, oh, I'm confronting them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
I'm standing up for myself. You know, is this, am I doing the wrong thing? If you have a polite tone and you balance your wording and aren't just, you know, attacking this person and pointing the finger, you can't go wrong. All right, next. Somebody said advice about how to say no as a people pleaser. ooh, this is hard. This is hard. I still really struggle with saying no.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
And to be honest, a lot of times when I say no, I'm usually making some sort of excuse. Like if somebody asked me to hang out and I don't want to, I'll be like, oh, I'm working today. Am I always working that day? No. Sometimes I am, but sometimes I'm not. You know, if somebody...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
If I'm single, let's say, and somebody asks me on a date and I don't want to go on the date, I might say, oh, I'm still kind of getting over my ex or I'm not really looking for anything like that right now. And I'm so sorry, but I'm just like, I'm not ready, like whatever. I'm usually making some sort of excuse. So to be completely honest, I don't think I'm going to be able to give the best advice
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
here because I'm not actually super good at being honest and just being like, can I be honest? No, no, I don't want to do that. No, I'm not going to do that because I don't want to. I'm not good at that. Okay. I'm hesitant to give this as advice, but I'm going to do it anyway. I think if you're a people pleaser, the best place to start is to just find any way possible to say no.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Because if you're a people pleaser, if you're a yes man, I used to be like this. It is like agony to say no in any capacity. Even if you're fully, like, let's say somebody invites you to their birthday party and you're on a family vacation in Aruba. You're literally 12 hours away, okay? There's no, on a plane, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
There's no possible way, unless you live in Aruba, there's no possible way you could go to this party. If you're somebody who feels terrible saying, oh my God, I'm out of town, You are a real people pleaser. You are a real yes man, like me. I literally have such a hard time. Oh my God, that just reminds me. Somebody invited me to their birthday party and I'm out of town.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
The birthday party's next week and I need to text them and say I can't go because I'm out of town and I feel so bad and I don't want to say that, but I have to because I am actually out of town. It's not even an excuse.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
If you're somebody who really struggles with saying no in any capacity, if you're somebody who's like, I wish I could fly home to go to a birthday party that I have to miss because I feel so bad, then you're in such a place that you need to figure out any way to say no.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
And so I feel somewhat ready to give you advice about the topic. So without further ado, let's begin. Somebody said, how to stand up for yourself without being mean about it. I feel like as somewhat of a people pleaser myself, I understand this struggle, right? It seems like there's no obvious way to stand up for yourself without creating conflict. And to be honest, that is kind of true.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
So if that means making an excuse at first, if that means, you know, making excuses that are maybe not 100% true, they're not harmful lies, but maybe they're white lies. My suggestion is just to get comfortable with saying no and to show yourself that people aren't going to hate you if you say that you're busy, that you can't make it, that you can't go.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
You might need to start by lying at first, saying, oh, I have a dinner I have to go to. Oh, I have a meeting at that time. Oh, I can't go on a date because I already have a boyfriend. Lie. That's my advice. And you know what? I'm never going to give you the advice to lie. ever again, probably. This is probably the only scenario in which I think lying is okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
If you are a people pleaser and you don't know how to say no, you might have to lie in the beginning just to get comfortable with saying no. And then you can start to challenge yourself with being completely honest.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
And that's something I'm personally working on right now is figuring out, okay, what do I do when I'm actually just too tired to hang out or I'm not interested in this person romantically at all? Or I find somebody annoying and I don't really like hanging out with them. Like, how do I start being more honest?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
I mean, the truth is, like, am I ever going to tell somebody that I'm not romantically interested in them? Probably not. Am I ever going to tell somebody that I think that they're annoying and that's why I don't hang out with them? Probably not. But maybe there are ways to, you know, potentially say no without having to lie. I don't know...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
And maybe the answer is just to learn to be comfortable with saying no with no explanation. You know, we don't owe anyone explanations. in life. We don't owe anyone anything. Sometimes it's nice and even more polite to give an explanation, but sometimes it's probably less polite to give an explanation. You know, in the case of, oh, I think this person's annoying.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
I don't want to hang out with them. Oh, I don't feel physically attracted to this person. I don't want to go on a date with them. Maybe it's actually more polite to just say, oh, no thanks. Maybe that's my next step in my saying no journey is getting comfortable just saying no and being okay with not having an explanation or an excuse. Maybe that's the ultimate form of saying no.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
But I think practice makes perfect. The more that you do it and the more that you realize that everything's okay after, the more confident you'll become in your ability to say no. But I think in the beginning, it's okay to make some excuses here and there. Next, somebody said, how did not feel guilty when I have to say no to people? Okay, very similar questions, but a little bit different.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
How did not feel guilty about saying no? Because saying no is one thing, but feeling guilty about it is another. Well, I would say when it comes to guilt, I think it can be helpful to put yourself in the person that you're saying no to's shoes, okay? How would you feel if the roles were reversed and somebody said no to you? Really think about it. Chances are you would be fine and you know that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
You would be totally fine, okay? So think about yourself and how you'd be fine if they said no to you and let that eliminate some guilt for you, okay? We don't need to baby each other. In fact, we shouldn't. I don't think it's good to baby each other in life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Being rejected, having people say no to you, having people be honest with you, this is very important to maintaining healthy relationships in life, becoming more independent as a person. You know, if somebody says no to hanging out or going on a date with you or whatever. whatever, like that forces the person who got the no to find something else to do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Like it's saying no is very important for everyone's character development. The person who's being said no to and the person saying no. So don't feel guilty. This is a normal part of life and you would be okay if that person said no to you. So don't worry. They're going to be okay too.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
But also, I think another thing to remember is if you're saying no, it's because you feel uncomfortable by something. You don't want to do something. And that is completely valid. Validate those feelings for yourself. If you feel like you don't want to do something, that is okay. Take a bit of the empathy that you have for the person that you want to say no to and put that towards yourself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
You deserve a bit of empathy as well. you not wanting to do something is valid. If the person that you're saying no to said no to you, you'd be cool with it. You'd be like, oh yeah, no worries. It's all good. I empathize with you. I understand sometimes you don't want to hang out. Sometimes things don't work out. It might feel kind of shitty, but you'd understand, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
you would have empathy for them if they even said no. Do you see what I'm saying? So I don't know, have a bit of empathy for yourself. I briefly paused this episode of Anything Goes to let you know that this episode of Anything Goes is brought to you by ChatGPT. If you're a college student, ChatGPT Plus is free now through May.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
So during the worst part of the year, you can ask it to help you in unlimited ways, like getting ChatGPT to quiz you on your notes or explaining a problem in a way that works for you, maybe with extra graphs or charts. You can even ask it to help you with your meal plans and workout schedules. ChatGPT Plus is a game changer and it's free for college students through May.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Get it now at ChatGPT.com slash students. Restrictions apply. Now let's get back to the episode. Next, somebody said, how to drop friends that treat me like shit, but not cause a big scene or argument. Again, I'm kind of hesitant to give this advice because I'm not sure if it's the perfect method, but it's what I've done in the past.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
Whenever you stand up for yourself in any capacity, you have to be okay with the fact that the person that you're standing up for yourself to might not respond warmly to that. Even if you do everything perfectly, even if you stand up for yourself as politely and respectfully and admirably as you possibly could, there's still a chance that the other person is not going to respond to that very well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
I think the best method of breaking off a friendship or breaking off from a friend group is to sort of Slowly let it fade away, you know? Stop asking those people to hang out. Stop responding to the group chat. Start to make new friends. Hang out with those people more often. Instead of seeing your friend group every week, maybe dial it down to once a month. slowly but surely back away, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
And here's the thing. It's really hard to confront somebody and say, hey, I just don't think that this friendship's working anymore. It's really uncomfortable to do that. And I don't always think it's necessary. Sometimes friendships just aren't making sense anymore and you're just less drawn to them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
And well, in this case, I forgot, I actually forgot that you said that your friends treat you like shit. So they don't deserve an explanation. It's totally fine to just drift away. And if they're treating you like shit, chances are they're not going to be like, wait, you're hurting our feelings, like, come hang out with us again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
They're probably just going to be like, whatever, fuck it, she doesn't want to hang out, okay. They don't sound like super gentle, kind people if they're treating you like shit. So chances are if you were to back away and sort of slowly pull back... they're not going to come begging for you back. And I'm not saying that to insult you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
I'm just saying that it sounds like that's the type of people that you're friends with. And if they did come back to you in sort of a condescending way, why are you hanging out with us? You could, you know, consider being like, uh, because you guys treat me like shit. But you could also be like, oh, I don't know. I'm just doing other stuff. You know, I'm just busy doing other stuff.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
I have other friends and... You know, it's no hard feelings, but yeah, it's just not working out as much as it used to. That's my method. And sometimes a scene and an argument is inevitable. But I think the best thing you can do is focus on what you can control, which is how you manage getting out of the front group.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
And I think doing it subtly and gently and with no real confrontation is probably the best start. And then if they ask for an explanation, then you can make the decision of whether or not you're going to bring it up to them with the slight risk that they might confront you and cause a scene and cause an argument. But at that point, it's out of your control.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
people pleasing, advice session
You know, you tried to exit the friendship gently and gently. Subtly, you know, and if they choose to cause a scene or an argument, you know, that's just one of the inevitable shitty parts of the ebbs and flows of friendship. It's just inevitable. Okay, next. Somebody said, I constantly feel guilty for everything I do and I don't know why. It has been like this since I was little.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I woke up this morning in the mood for debate, okay? I want to rile people up. I want to stir the pot. I want to start some minor arguments. And that's why today I'm going to spend the next 30 minutes to an hour discussing some of my unpopular opinions. Some of these might anger you. I know that, okay? Wow, my voice is really raspy today. It's very raspy, but it's raspy in a good way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
You know what I mean? Like, I feel like I've watched so many horror movies with boyfriends. It's just something that, like, ends up happening. So for some reason, I'm very well-versed in the horror scary movie category. Because that's kind of the only genre I've consumed over the last few years.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I mean, with some exceptions, but like I've seen a lot of horror movies and I will say, you know, I think a lot of people write off horror movies as like maybe having a weaker plot and hiding behind gore and jump scares and stuff like that. Horror movies can be so good. I think a good horror movie that has substance is probably like the hardest type of movie to make, maybe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Okay, let's get into it. Let me share with you some of my unpopular opinions.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I don't know if I believe that. This is a half-baked unpopular opinion. What I wrote down was, and I quote, there is an underappreciated art that goes into making a truly disturbing but good horror movie. That's my unpopular opinion, but I don't even know if that's like an unpopular opinion.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I guess I'm just saying like a lot of people sleep on horror movies because they're like, it's all just gore and jump scares these days. I don't know. Every once in a while I see a really fucking good horror movie that's like unbelievable. It's genius in the way that it is gory and scary. Like the ways that, okay, I'll give some examples. Like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Like, sorry, this is about to be really graphic, but I just watched the movie Hold Your Breath. Did it do bad? Oh my God. People did not like this movie. Oh, it was a remake. Okay. Well, people do not like this movie. It's called Hold Your Breath. It's about a woman. Let's see.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
In 1930s Oklahoma amid the region's horrific dust storms, a woman is convinced that a sinister presence is threatening her family. Whatever. There's like this scene where like this woman is like sewing something like with a needle and a thread and then starts sewing into her hand on accident. That is so smart, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Or like, you know, in the movie Hereditary, there's a scene of a guy driving a car and his little sister's having an allergic reaction. And she sticks her head out the window to get air. And she gets decapitated because the car passed by a large wooden post. I mean, this shit is like... Or Midsommar, the movie Midsommar.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
When like, I don't know, like the old people jump off of a cliff to their death. Okay, whatever. Listen, I'm realizing now this was a horrible, unpopular opinion. I should just move on. I guess I just think there's an underappreciated art that goes into making a truly disturbing horror movie. I think a lot of people write off the genre as being lazy and gore and blah, blah, blah.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
But there's a lot of hidden gems in there. And I think it's really hard to make a good, good, good horror movie that has a really well-rounded... story that makes sense, that has these really unexpected, scary moments that are really disturbing, something that you've never seen before, never comprehended. There's a lot of art in that. Okay, I'm moving on. Next, most people should not have pets.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Like, truly. I think we all underestimate the responsibility of having a full living creature in our homes. But having pets is like kind of a serious thing. And when I was little and I was begging my mom to get me a kitten and then another one and then a dog and then another one, I obviously didn't have brain cells yet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
So I couldn't comprehend like how serious of a responsibility it was, even when I got my two cats. And I was a teenager, like 18 years old. I didn't really think about the responsibility that it was. I have no regrets. I love having cats. And I'm really fortunate that when I travel and stuff, I have the resources to have them very lovingly and beautifully taken care of.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
But I don't know, I just think most people shouldn't have a pet. Number one, with certain pets, there's a lot of safety hazards. Like if you have a really big dog, that is a hazard, okay? A big, big, powerful, strong dog can hurt people, can hurt you. If that dog is not properly trained, that dog can be a hazard. And that's not the dog's fault. That's your fault, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Animals can get diseases if you're not taking them to the vet, making sure that they have their, you know, vaccines or whatever. I don't know. They can get sick. Animals can also have severe health issues that can make their quality of life miserable, which can cost a lot of money.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Like, my mom's dog just had some issues with his pancreas, and my mom had to pay thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars... to save his life and stop the pain that he was experiencing. That's a hidden cost of having pets. You can't travel a lot unless you have somebody who can watch them consistently. I mean, the list goes on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And I think most people just get pets and are like, it's my fun little critter. And then six months go by and the excitement of having a puppy or a kitten wears off. And now you're just stuck with this animal that is almost like a child. It's like having a baby. It's like having a newborn baby all the time. Actually, okay, not newborn, but it's like having a baby all the time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Very controversial. I truly do believe that olives are the best pizza topping. I truly believe that. I also understand why people don't like olives on pizza. I get it. Olives have a slightly sour, sometimes even metallic kind of taste. They look kind of gross. You know, texturally, they might be kind of gross to some people. I personally think they're delightful, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Like they whine at you, they cry, they knock stuff over and you're just trying to understand what they want. Like my cats wake me up at four in the morning sometimes and I have to figure out what they want, what they need. I have to clean up their poop, like all of this. You know, it's like having a baby. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And I just, I noticed, this is definitely an LA thing, but I think a lot of people, feel lonely or want a little accessory and they get an animal and then they realize that they were in over their head and they don't have it in them to take on the responsibility of an animal and they get rid of the animal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I've seen that a lot, especially with like, I don't know, it's kind of an influencer thing to do, which I don't want to judge, okay? Like, I don't know what's going on. But I've seen like, I don't know, I've like, being somebody who watches YouTube and whatever, I've seen people before with like this pet. And then all of a sudden, one day they like move or something and the pet is gone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I'm like, what? Or like, you know, some like person on the Internet's posting with this dog all the time. And then all of a sudden the dog is gone. And it's like the dog didn't die. Where is the dog? I don't know. And maybe again, that could be me judging or misreading the situation. But I just I feel like I've seen that happen. Yeah. And I just think it's kind of a shame.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Like, that's really emotionally turbulent for the animal. That can't be good. And I just think people should think harder before they get pets. Because I think most people shouldn't have them. Like, honestly, I don't even think I should have pets. I'm not nearly home enough. I mean, again, are my cats properly taken care of? 1,000%. When I'm out of town, my mom takes care of them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I have cat sitters that take care of them. Like, I have lots of options. I'm very well set up because that is a huge priority for me to make sure that they are not being neglected, okay? That's not good vibes, okay? But I still think that I'm probably not in a phase of my life where I should have animals. I'm traveling a lot. I'm young.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I want to be free and not, like, have to take... Listen, when I have kids and shit... Sure. Then maybe I'll get a cat or a dog or something because I'm already it's like a mindset shift. It's like, all right, we're we're in nurture mode. We're going to nurture some some critters here. And there's going to be a time and a place in my life for that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
But I'm I want to be able to like pick up and like fucking I don't know, go on a three month trip to Thailand tomorrow if I want. And I think we should all consider that freedom that we're losing when we get pets. And also like, you know, how much work it truly is to give them a proper life. I don't know. That's just who I am. But also I love my cats so much. I really do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And like, I have one sitting on my lap right now. They definitely help with my anxiety. You know, I live alone. It's really, well, technically I live alone. I'm alone in my home a lot. And I mean, I have people at my house actually quite a lot. but in those moments when I am alone, it is so nice to have cats.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
So it's like, I don't regret it, but I also think I'm probably not in a place in my life where I should have cats. Like if I could go back, oh my God, but I love them so much that I don't know. I wouldn't change anything. I don't think I can say that. It's like, I just, I can't say I would go back and not get them because I love them too much, but I am aware that I probably shouldn't have them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
You know what I mean? Like I probably am not in a place in my life where I should have them. And I think most people my age shouldn't. And I think most people in general shouldn't. Okay, that's enough of that. Most people shouldn't have pets. Next, sweet, gummy, chewy candy. Okay, I'm talking about bubble gum, marshmallows, Swedish fish, Twizzlers, red vines, circus peanuts.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Okay, you know the vibe. Candy that's just simply sweet and it's usually chewy. To me, this genre of candy is inedible, okay? It's inedible. I need a little bit of tartness or I need a little bit of bitterness from like chocolate. I need something. I cannot eat something that is one note. A Twizzler to me, the fact that anybody would enjoy eating them, I cannot comprehend it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
When you're taking a bite of pizza, it's salty, it's maybe a little tangy, it's yeasty, it's bready, it's sort of umami, like fatty. It is so nice to have a pop of acidity when you're eating pizza. It just brightens the whole thing up, okay? From like a scientific level. I don't understand food science. I didn't study it. But I think I'm hypothesizing, and I'm too lazy to Google it right now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I truly believe this genre of candy is inedible. Listen, the only thing I will say, marshmallow, Marshmallow, when paired with other things, I actually think it's quite delicious. Like marshmallow, like a s'more. I think a s'more is delicious. The graham cracker, the chocolate, the marshmallow, it's balanced. That is a balanced dessert, like flavor-wise. But like a Swedish fish? No, no, no, no.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I cannot eat that. It is gross to me. I really think that these candies are inedible. Compared to like a Sour Punch straw, okay? Compared to a Butterfinger, compared to a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. No. These things, they shouldn't even exist. You know, it's funny. For the first time this year... decided that I was going to give out Halloween candy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And one of my loved ones lives in a neighborhood where trick-or-treating happens. In Los Angeles, it's kind of complicated. Trick-or-treating is not like it is where, you know, I grew up in a more normal suburb, okay, where, like, every street has trick-or-treating. In a big city, it's a bit more complicated. Like, my neighborhood that I live in, no trick-or-treating.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Because I live on a hill, it's, like, hard to get around, it's whatever, so no trick-or-treating. A lot of people go trick-or-treating in gated communities, which is, like, I can't even fathom that. I'm like, I drove past one... on the day of Halloween, and there was like this long line of cars waiting to go in to trick-or-treat in this gated community, like people signed up. So fascinating.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
It's like so much more of an ordeal in Los Angeles, which makes sense. There's a lot of people, you know, there's a lot of different types of neighborhoods. It's very complicated. But anyway, so I went to my loved one's house, okay, and... They live like in a normal sort of suburban part of Los Angeles. It's just normal. It looks just like a town. It's very normal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
It's a little bit outside of LA, a tiny bit. You know, it's kind of, yeah. And we decided we wanted to give out candy to trick-or-treaters. And so I went to the store and for the first time in my life, it was up to me what candy I was going to buy for the trick-or-treaters. And I was honestly overwhelmed with excitement. What a fun task. And it was so funny.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I was like in this aisle with multiple other adults also picking out the Halloween candy for their trick-or-treaters. And I couldn't help but be nosy and see what other people were picking. It was riveting to watch. Okay. Not to profile this man, but there was an older man, probably 65 maybe. And I was so curious to see what he would choose.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And he chose almond joys, you know, the coconut with the almond dipped in the chocolate that no one likes. I actually think they're delightful. I think they're delicious, but most people hate them. Okay. He picked almond joys and then he picked many little packets of plain M&Ms. I was like, holy fuck, this makes so much sense. this is exactly what he would choose.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
You know, it was, oh, it was, it was a fucking, it was like a masterclass in psychology in that fucking aisle. My God, it was amazing. Anyway, so let me tell you what I chose. Cause I'll tell you, it was not bubble gum. It was not marshmallows. It was not Swedish fish. It was not Twizzlers. It was not red vines. It was not circus peanuts.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
It was none of, none of those things, which by the way are not really Halloween candies anyway, but I'm just reiterating that that genre of candy should not exist and no one should ever choose them for Halloween. What I chose was as follows. Kit Kats, of course, Twix, of course, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and Butterfinger, aka the best little mini chocolate bars that every kid likes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Or at least, okay, you know what? Those are the ones I liked. And I was a picky eater. So if I like those, everyone probably liked those. I'll tell you, the best out of all those, to me, Butterfinger and Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Peanuts, yes. Peanuts in a, oh my God, peanuts in a chocolate bar. Very good, very, very good. I also got Jolly Ranchers, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Fun to suck on, fun to throw in your school bag and have when you're at school. Just a fun thing to have. And last but not least, Sour Punch straws, individually packaged. gummy, yummy, sour, tart, delicious. Can I tell you, a lot of the kids were really excited about the Sour Punch straws. I wasn't sure if they were going to be excited about them. They were.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I don't want to Google it. But I would assume... that adding acid to pizza is good for the overall flavor experience, okay? You know, when you're eating something, you want to have fat. You want to have acid, sourness, tanginess. You want to have umami. You want to have, you know, all these different flavor profiles. The more you have going on at once in harmony,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
If I had put little packs of bubble gum or little mini packs of Swedish fish in there, I can tell you kids would have avoided them. Why? Because they're gross. Anyway, I just think that genre of candy shouldn't exist. Moving on, let's discuss live music, okay? I do enjoy live music. In fact, I love music. I am a music lover. So is 80% of the planet. I think majority of people love music.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
But I really love music, okay? I love it. I'm interested in it. I genuinely, I don't make music, but I care about it. I care about the industry. Okay. I care about it as an art form. Like I genuinely am like interested in it. Like more so than I am with like, say movies, you know, some people are like movie buffs and they're all into the weeds. I'm like, who produced this movie?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Who directed this movie? Who wrote this movie? I don't give a fuck about that when it comes to movies. I couldn't care less, okay? I watch a movie and I'm like, that movie was good or that movie was bad and that's it. With music, I'm like looking at the songwriting credits. Oh, that producer did that. Like I like that. I'm into that, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And it doesn't help that I like surround myself with musicians and my dad's a musician. I just like love it. I love the industry, okay? I'm in it. I'm in it. I'm paying attention. With that being said, I have no interest in seeing live music close up. I don't need to be at the barricade. I don't need to wait all day to be at the front and watch them. No, I don't need to be in the mosh pit, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I don't need to be packed like a fucking sardine in a crowd just to be kind of close to the artist. No, I want to be all the way in the back sitting. I fucking love sitting. I am able to truly enjoy live music when I'm comfortable. When I'm all packed into this, no, listen, is there a rare occasion where that makes sense and that's fun? Yes, okay? Like if you're seeing live music in a small venue,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And it's like, you know, an hour and a half show. I'm young. I'm brave. I can fucking get in there and enjoy. That makes sense. You know, it's in a small venue. It's like a fucking vibe in that way. Like that, great. But like at Coachella... at a music festival, okay?
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olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
At a massive venue, at a massive, huge, massive venue where, you know, you have the choice to be like in the pit or whatever, by the floor. I don't even know what it's all called, okay? Or you could sit in assigned seating. Give me the assigned seating all day, okay? And I want to sit for the performance. I don't want to stand.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Now, I know that this is controversial, actually, because I've been seeing some videos online talking about how like 2024, audiences at concerts are sitting and not giving the energy. And I can see how that would be frustrating for the artists and for other concert goers. Like, hey, where's the energy? This is supposed to be fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
But at the same time, I kind of get it because I love just sitting and dancing in my chair and singing in my chair. I love that. Being comfortable, it allows me to truly enjoy the experience. And that... sort of philosophy applies to all areas of my life. When I'm wearing comfy clothes, I'm able to enjoy myself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
When I'm not wearing too much makeup so I can like rub my face and touch my face and I'm not thinking about like, oh, do I need to reapply my lip liner? I tend to enjoy myself more. Like the more comfortable I am, the more I enjoy myself. It's the same with live music. I just honestly prefer sitting in the back, watching the big screen of the person performing. Like that's fine with me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Unless we're in a small, packed, fun venue where the beauty of that event is that we're all packed together and we're having this intimate experience and there's the artist up there and there's no big screens projecting them on the sides. It's a very small room. That is cool. That is fun. That is exciting. That is the only time it's worth it. Other than that, I can't say it's worth it. Okay, next.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
the more explosive of flavor we got going on. To me, I just think olives provide that, okay? They provide a bit of tartness, a bit of tanginess. I also like the texture they provide, a slightly harder thing to chew on. And I don't know, they're just kind of foolproof. Like a flawed pizza topping, in my opinion, would be bell peppers.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I think people almost always look cooler with bangs. This is an unpopular opinion because for my entire life, I've heard people say, people can look good with bangs, but people almost always look better without them. I fucking disagree, okay? I disagree. I think most people look cooler with some sort of bang, okay? Now, I'm not talking about like a beautiful curtain bang, okay?
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olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I'm talking about like... a blunt bang or like kind of shaggy longer bangs or like micro bang. Like I just think bangs are cool. And I think most people look cooler with a bang. But also I think my taste in things, especially like aesthetically on people, I'm more excited about something that's cool or interesting than than like what's hot and flattering nowadays.
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olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
But I just don't love the sentiment of like, don't cut bangs. You'll regret it. It's like, no, I actually think most people look cooler with bangs. I think it's a more interesting, more intriguing haircut. I have bangs right now. Okay. I mean, I like clipping them back sometimes, like whatever, but I just think bangs are cool. I don't know. I think bangs get a bad rap, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And I think they shouldn't because I think they can add a lot of personality to a haircut and it's like a fun accessory to have bangs. Next, I think I actually prefer fog over sun. Now, am I fully convinced that I believe this? I'm not sure. But I really love fog. I actually do think fog is my favorite type of weather. And I have a real scientific reason for it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
It's not just like, it looks pretty. I have reasonings. Let me explain. And the reason why I'm hesitating is because I do think like if it was foggy every day, I think it would be really hard for me mentally. I think we need the sunlight. You know, I think it's very healthy and nice for us. However, I really do love fog. OK, let me explain. Number one, easier on the eyes.
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olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
OK, like it's so comfortable to look around at the world when it's foggy. OK, that's number one. Number two, I like the way that fog sort of color grades the world. Like all the shadows are really soft and it's kind of cool toned. Like I like the colors that are created from fog. Okay, that's my next point. Okay, moving on to the fact that a lot of times fog protects...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I don't know how this works, but there's less wind. Sort of can be kind of like more comfortable and less windy when it's foggy. And there's like a scientific reason for that having to do with like pressure and like particles and stuff. Who cares? It's less windy oftentimes when it's foggy, at least in my experience. This is not every time, but this is a lot of times. Next, it feels very cozy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I feel cozy and safe in the fog as though I'm being like, what's it called when you wrap a baby in a blanket? Swindle? Swooning? What's it called? Swaddle. I feel psychologically swaddled by fog. Okay? I feel safe. I feel cozy. I feel like nothing bad can happen. And last but not least, I grew up in a foggy place. I grew up near San Francisco. It's very foggy there. Anyway, I just like fog.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Sometimes bell peppers on pizza are delightful when they're cooked before they're put on the pizza. So they're soft and they're caramelized and they have a lot of flavor. When a pizza shop just plops on a bunch of raw bell peppers on the pizza before they throw it in the pizza oven, a lot of times that's not enough cooking time to fully soften a bell pepper.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I genuinely think it's very pleasant. I think... The sunlight is beautiful. It's amazing. But I think it kind of hurts the eyes. It can get really hot. It can be really windy. Like, I don't know, like clear skies are great, are amazing. We love them. We need them, especially during the summer. Delightful. But any other time of the year, I prefer fog. I don't know. It's just who I am.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Next, what wasabi adds to the sushi eating experience is like, to me, non-negotiable. Like, okay, I'll give you an example. So I often will pick up a sushi roll from a grocery store for lunch. This is something I do frequently. Okay, like there's amazing sushi at Air One, the Los Angeles grocery store. There's amazing sushi at Whole Foods, at Sprouts.
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olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
There's a lot of grocery stores that have a little sushi section and sometimes they'll forget to add a little bit of wasabi on the side or they won't have a little wasabi packet available on the side. When that happens, I will not buy the sushi for lunch. I will fully choose something else. I love wasabi and what it adds to the sushi eating experience so much.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
That if it is not available, I just will not eat sushi. Now, at a sushi restaurant, they of course always have wasabi. It's always on the side, you know what I mean? But when I'm getting a quick sushi roll for lunch or something, not always. And it's such an important part of the experience for me that I will just simply not buy the sushi. And again, I have a reasoning for this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Number one, the flavor that it adds, it brings it to life. It totally brings it to life. I love the spiciness. I love every once in a while getting a bite that has too much wasabi on it. I love that experience. I love... being done with my lunch, my sushi lunch, and having tears streaming down my face because of how much wasabi I use. I love that.
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olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I love taking the entire clump of wasabi that they provided me and putting that in my soy sauce and basically playing Russian roulette every single time I dip or roll in there because I might accidentally pick up a clump of wasabi and just absolutely send myself into orbit, crying, tears everywhere, nose running down my face. I love that. That is my favorite part.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
That is one of my favorite parts about sushi. I mean, sushi is one of my favorite foods. And I know what you're thinking. Emma, you're a vegetarian. I know. But there are a lot of delightful vegetarian sushi options. There's tofu, there's egg, there's all these other things that they add. So fucking relax. Yeah. Wasabi is mandatory when eating sushi.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
When people eat sushi with no soy sauce or no wasabi, I'm like, wow, this is crazy. I can't even comprehend it because I love it so much. I love that experience so much. Okay, next. You know, I think a lot of people when they go on vacation want to make the most out of it. They're like, I want to do all the touristy stuff. I want to have an activity every day.
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olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I want to go horseback riding on the first day, then go on a hike the second day, then do boogie boarding the third, and then I'm surfing the fourth, and then I'm ultimately flying home. And then, you know, there's other people who are like, okay, first day I'm going to go shopping here. Second day I'm going to go shopping here. Third day I'm going to eat at this Michelin star restaurant.
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olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And then I'm going to go here. And then I'm going to like, people like to have a stacked itinerary when they go on vacation. And obviously depending on the vacation, that itinerary is different. And the itinerary doesn't matter for this conversation. I think vacation is best spent doing nothing. Now, I don't mean doing nothing, okay? Like laying in bed and like rotting, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
So now you have crunchy bell peppers on the pizza. It just like isn't good. Same thing with onions. I personally do not like raw onions. I think that they are vile. Occasionally a raw onion can work, but it just has to be so masterfully done. It's just, it's a lot to ask. I like a cooked onion.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I do think that that's kind of a shame. Listen, if that's what you need to do on your vacation to recharge, I am not one to judge. However, that's not an ideal vacation for me or probably for anyone, okay? So I'm not saying do actually nothing. But there's something so awesome about having no plan. Being like, you know what? I'm gonna go to this place and see what happens. I'll give an example.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
My dad and I recently went on a road trip and we went to Vail, Colorado. This is a ski town. And we went off season because we were like, we just want to like hang out in a ski town that's like small and dystopian almost in some ways. Like ski towns off season are very dystopian. There's like no one there because no one's skiing, obviously.
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olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
But there's all these like little cute businesses, but they're all like, it seems like you're in a theme park almost. And we were like, we're just going to, go there and see what we discover. And we ended up finding this like really cute deli that we were eating at every day. We discovered this really great hike that was really challenging and fun. And we spent hours a day doing that.
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olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
We got bored and like found this cafe that we could get some work done at. We're like, oh, we'll get some work done on our vacation. So we both worked at this cafe that we found. We were going on walks late at night. We were going, finding these like you know, last minute reservations at restaurants or just like popping into a spot.
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olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Like we just were finding stuff as we went and we were just intuitive about it. And it was a delightful vacation and there were no dull moments. We were just able to find stuff as we went and it was an adventure and it was fun. And I don't know, I just think simple vacation, no itinerary is the best way to have a vacation because you're truly just free. You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Like, in theory, when you go on vacation, what are you trying to escape? For me, I'm trying to escape the rigid schedule and lifestyle that I participate in the other 98% of the year, right? I'm trying to escape the schedule. I'm trying to escape the itinerary that I always have. That's what's exciting about vacation is like, Oh my God, open up my calendar. There's nothing to do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Like having to be somewhere at fucking 4 p.m. when you're on vacation sucks. That sucks. At least in my opinion, I want to be like, oh, I kind of am in the mood to like go for a walk. All right, let's just go for a walk and see what we find. You know what I mean? I think that's the best type of vacation.
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olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Now it is a little bit scary because there's a risk of like, oh my God, what if we don't have anything to do? But do some research and make sure that
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
there is some stuff to do like oh you know this place has a cute little downtown area that we could go eat at and there's some hiking trails if we feel like we want to hike or you see what your options are make sure that there's some stuff to do that you don't need to over plan like oh there's some cute hikes and there's a cute downtown area to walk around in and then you're good you don't need to over plan i don't know okay this is a really unpopular opinion i'm actually afraid
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Throwing a bunch of raw onions on a pizza, they just don't get cooked and caramelized enough for my liking. A big slab of tomato on pizza, you know, you take one bite and you... fucking pull the whole tomato off the pizza. Okay, stupid. It looks beautiful, whatever, but it's not an effective topping. Basil.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Of what you will think of me. So here's the deal. There is this trend in fashion, design, whatever, where designers will basically take something like a shoe, oftentimes a shoe actually, and they will pre-dirty it. Okay, like they'll manufacture the shoe, produce the shoe with... dirt and scuffs on it already. Or like jeans that come with stains on them and stuff, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
A lot of people really do not like this. And I actually totally understand. I think there are times when it's goofy and ridiculous. However, I think when done subtly, I actually kind of appreciate it. And let me explain, okay? I'm actually going to give one specific example and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I have these sneakers that they sort of have like a, they're like a lace up sneaker and I got them from the brand Acne Studios and they're like lightly worn in. Like they look lightly worn in. Okay. Like the rubber has like dirt on it a little bit, but it's not like to the point where the shoe is like structurally not sound. It's not so over the top that it's like the shoes look ridiculous.
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olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
It just looks like I had already been wearing them for like a year. I bought these because I hate the look of new shoes. Hate. And so to me, even though these shoes are ridiculous because they come pre-dirty, I like that because I don't even like wear... Like, it's either I buy them like that or I were to buy them and then, you know, go like rough around in the dirt for like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
an hour before I wear them for the first time and that's kind of annoying like I actually am kind of happy like I'm excited that they're pre-worn in now arguably I could go and buy like thrifted shoes which I have done before but I I have a hard time with thrifting shoes because a lot of times they're like already at their breaking point anyway and it's like I don't know, shoes are tough.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And it's a little gross. Sometimes shoes, ah, depends on what type of shoe. But like a sneaker, I don't love thrifting a sneaker that's like worn in already. You know what I mean? Because a lot of times they're actually just about to rip anyway. I don't think it's a completely ridiculous...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
idiotic idea and a lot of people think it is like things that are pre-worn in like it's stupid can it be stupid absolutely like I don't know Balenciaga I think put out these shoes that went viral they're like ripped up like they're like converse that are like all ripped up or whatever and people were like this is fucking ridiculous. That is absolutely ridiculous.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
However, that is their, you know, that's their marketing. That's how they market their brand. I mean, they want us to talk about the shoes and we're talking about them. What can you do? That is not what I'm talking about here. Okay. I'm talking about stuff that's pre-worn in. I would have worn the shoes in to the point. Here's what I think is actually, you know what?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I lose my voice all the time. My voice is always kind of raspy. But it's a little different every time. Like sometimes I lose my voice and it sounds weak and fragile and it hurts to talk and that is not fun. And then sometimes I lose my voice like this where it doesn't hurt to talk and it just sounds kind of sexy and smoldering. Super exciting. I went out last night, which is why I lost my voice.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
This is sort of the formula, the rule for pre-worn in clothing. Okay. I like it and think that it is smart and not ridiculous when it's pre-worn into a point that I could accomplish within like, I don't know, six months to a year. Like it looks true to life. Okay. It looks true to my life, right? It's like, in theory, Emma could wear in her shoes to that point.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
In theory, Emma could scuff up her jeans to that point from just like not washing them and like living in them. You know what I mean? In that case, I actually think it's fine. You're just pre-wearing them in.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Basil is good, but a lot of times they'll put the basil on the pizza before they put it in the oven and then the basil shrivels up and it's unfortunate and crunchy and doesn't really add as much flavor anymore. What you want to do is put fresh basil on top of the pizza, which does happen occasionally and it is good then, but it's also like, whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And then as time moves forward and you're wearing them over and over again, they get dirtier, they get more worn in, and you don't even really notice because it just kind of blends into what's already there. That's also kind of awesome. Like, you can't even tell that you're wearing them in because it already looked worn in.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Like, I swear to God, those shoes that I bought, the Acne Studios sneakers that were pre-worn in with the scuffs and everything, they, I've worn those shoes so much. Like, unbelievable. I wear those shoes all the time. They look exactly the same. Okay, next. A lot of people think that it's weird that I often will drive in silence or run slash exercise in silence. Especially driving.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
People think it's very odd that I drive often without music. Sorry that I'm fucking thinking. I think running, driving, doing these sorts of activities that are autopilot, monotonous sort of activities, I think that these activities can be even more beneficial when done in silence. Now, are there times when I want to play music in the car? Absolutely.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Are there times when I want to listen to a podcast or a YouTube video or something while I'm driving? Sure. But probably 50 to 60% of the time, I'm driving in silence. I'm running in silence because I want to use it as time to think and time to sort of meditate. And I think it's not weird. I think it's kind of awesome. And I recommend you give it a try.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
It also has to be something that's intuitive, though. Like, you have to sort of be craving it. Like, there are times when I crave silence in the car. I just want to think. you know? And then there are times when I'm like, I don't fucking want to think at all. And I want to listen to music and sing. That's fine too.
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olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
But I'm just saying, it's like a lot of people think I'm a freak and a sociopath for not listening to music in the car. And I don't know. I just, I feel like that's ridiculous. It can be delightful and everyone should try it when it feels, when they're being called to it. Next, I, wow, this is my second thing about movies. I guess I just love movies.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I watched this horrible movie recently with someone else. Like I don't, I actually never watch movies alone, ever. That is an activity for with friends or with a boyfriend for me. Otherwise I'm not watching a movie. Anyway, so I watched this really bad rom-com movie. It's like a new rom-com. I'm not saying which one it is because I don't want to call it bad and then say which one it is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
It was horrible in a lot of ways. It was unbelievable in a lot of ways. I enjoyed watching this movie so much, okay? The writing was cringe. It was so cringe. The acting was kind of cringe, but I fucking loved it. I was like, this is amazing. I'm making fun of it a little bit, but I'm also like... invested in the dumb storyline. Like it was amazing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I actually think bad movies are just as fun to watch and just as enjoyable to watch as like genuinely incredible cinema. I think there's no in between. Like I think I most enjoy watching either a really, really good movie or a really, really bad movie. And I know, I don't know if that's even an unpopular opinion, but...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I actually am going to start seeking out bad, bad movies because I enjoyed watching this shitty, shitty, horrible. This actually wasn't that bad. I'm being dramatic. I loved this bad movie so much that I'm now going to seek out more bad movies. Next, I prefer workout classes over going to the gym. I really do. I think workout classes are better.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
It's good, but it's not like changing the game like I can do without it. You know, I don't need it does add it does add, but I'm not like frothing at the mouth for it. You know, pepperoni. Okay. Yeah. Pepperoni is a delicious pizza topping. I'm a vegetarian. Have I tried pepperoni pizza? Yes. Have I taken bites of my friend's pepperoni pizza within the last 365 days? Absolutely. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Now, listen, workout classes, I would say, are usually more expensive, but I really need somebody to tell me what to do. I'm realizing that. I love exercise. It is such a priority for me. I really love it and I really care about it. It's a very important part of my routine. And I've kind of done it all. I've had phases of doing it all. I had a gym phase, home workout phase.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I've had many different workout class phases. I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing better than a workout class in my opinion. it's not as intimate as having a personal trainer, which is also very expensive. Personal trainers are at least $100 a session, which is whatever. In a workout class, it's like you have a personal trainer. You have somebody giving you directions.
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olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
But not only is it less expensive, but also you don't have to be one-on-one with them. You can get into the flow state. You're not trying to keep up conversation with your trainer. You're actually kind of on your own still. But you're also being told what to do so you don't slack. When I'm working out in the gym alone, I'll just be like, and then now. Or I just don't even know what to do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I've done a lot of research about fitness and workouts and nutrition and all these things because I find it interesting and also helpful. It's genuinely useful information to know. And so I can put together a workout for myself. I feel confident that I've done enough research to know how to do it. But it's like, I don't know. I don't like, I like being told what to do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
So I think workout classes are better than the gym. Okay. I love sort of the community that is sort of nonverbal about workout classes. Like you wave to each other, you smile at each other, but you don't really talk to each other. And then you leave, but you feel like you are around people. And you all went through sort of the same thing, the same challenge of the workout class.
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olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
It's like not too intimate. I don't know. I just think workout classes are great. But a lot of people don't like workout classes. I know a lot of people who like refuse. I also know a lot of people who like them, but I don't know. I think it's split sort of down the middle, which to me makes it feel sort of unpopular, I guess, that I love them this much.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
But I really truly do believe it is the best form of workout. Yeah. is in a group. Anyway, last but not least, I don't think this is actually that unpopular of an opinion. I think a lot of people agree with this, but I really do think that blue cheese and goat cheese should never be used at a restaurant, okay? I will be reading a menu and I'll be like, wow, everything about this looks so good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And then they add blue cheese to it. And I know that if I order that and I eat it as the chef intended, I will be able to taste nothing but blue cheese. And the same goes for goat cheese. I've tried time and time again to give the chef a chance who uses these things. And I ultimately cannot taste anything but the cheese.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
You know, the thing that I enjoy about food is like, oh my God, I'm tasting a little bit of this and I'm tasting a little bit of that and I'm tasting a little bit of this and a little bit of that. And if you put goat cheese or blue cheese on something, you are now losing that. Honestly, I think truffle is...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Truffle almost falls into this category too, but I actually prefer... Truffle I like better. Blue cheese and goat cheese completely ruins everything that it touches. I can't tell you how many times I've been so sad that I've ordered something that has one of those cheeses and I've been like, I can't even eat this because it's so, so strong and foul. And that's all I got for today.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Those are my current unpopular opinions. Share with me your... unpopular opinions. If you have any that you want to share with me, you can let me know on the Instagram at anything goes. Find me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain. New episodes of anything goes every Thursday and Sunday, anywhere you stream podcasts, come hang out anytime you want.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I'm always here twice a week, except for like one month out of the year when I take a break. But other than that, I'm always here. So come find me, come hang out anytime you want. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee, if you want. ChamberlainCoffee.com, at Chamberlain Coffee. And I'll talk to you later. I love you and appreciate you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I've had pepperoni pizza recently as a vegetarian. I've had one bite. And it was fucking awesome, okay? It was delicious. But I don't eat meat. I'm a vegetarian 95% of the time. So that is not a valid pizza topping. I just think olives are the best topping. Now, the only exception in my opinion is Parmesan cheese, but I actually don't consider that to be a topping.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Thank you for listening and hanging out. And I'll talk to you very soon. Okay, bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I think of that more as a condiment. Okay. I think Parmesan cheese on pizza, it's not even like, it's not even an option. It's mandatory. You know what I mean? Whereas olives, it's like, oh yeah, I'll pop some olives on the pizza. Parmesan should always be on the pizza. It's like fucking putting ketchup and mustard on a fucking hot dog or something. It's like, it's just obvious.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
It's like that is always there. The choice is elsewhere in like, oh, do you add relish? Do you add chili cheese dog stuff? Like that's where the questions are, right? The ketchup and the mustard, that's always there. I guess not for like a chili cheese dog. I don't think you're putting ketchup and mustard. Whatever, I don't eat meat, okay? This is not my world.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I'm talking about something I don't understand. Anyway, I think olives are the best pizza topping. Actually, one last thing I'm gonna say about it. I will admit that there are times when olives are less good. I think that they're always good, but there are certain types of olives that are sometimes put on pizza, like a classic black olive that's not super tart.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
That is a very common olive to get on a pizza. And I will admit, it's less good than the more tart sort of green olives or whatever. Or like a Kalamata olive on a pizza is delightful as well. But I still think that they're good. Even though those are less good, I still think that they're good. Yeah, okay, let's move on. Next, it is not on my bucket list at all to go skydiving.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I do not need to go skydiving. I don't want to go skydiving. And I just do not understand why anyone wants to. I cannot comprehend it. And I'm not judging those who have gone skydiving and have found... Something eye-opening from it. Like, I love that for others, but I cannot comprehend how it's possible. Like, I believe that it's happened.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I believe that it is happening to people daily who are skydiving. I mean, it wouldn't be a huge industry if not, but I just can't comprehend it. It's like the fact that like the universe is constantly expanding, right? I know that that's true. I've heard that before, but I don't understand how that's possible. I can accept the fact that that is happening.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I am not denying the fact that that is true, but I can know something's true and not understand it. That's how I feel about skydiving. I can understand, I can comprehend the fact that people enjoy it, that people find value in it, but I cannot comprehend and understand why and how. It's dangerous, to be honest. Listen, is it super dangerous?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I should probably do a bit more research before I'm speaking on this, but I've heard of people getting really injured skydiving. It's not all sunshine and rainbows. Shit can go wrong, even though you're with a professional and, you know, whatever. shit can go wrong. And that's the first reason why I'm not interested.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I also just like, I'm riveted enough being in an airplane, especially as I get older, I look out the window and I'm like, this shouldn't be happening, which I know sounds ridiculous. It's like, Emma, you've been flying on airplanes since you were a kid. As a lot of people have, it's like this normal thing, thousands and billions of fucking airplanes, not billions, but relax.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
You get what I'm saying? I'm Trillions and trillions of airplanes take off and land every single day. It's not that crazy, but I find it more and more spectacular every day that airplanes work well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And in my older age, I think through realizing how spectacular airplanes are and how much of a miracle it is that it can work in the way that it does, the more I'm terrified of planes and being in the air. I'm absolutely terrified of it. And no matter how much research I do and statistics I read about how truly safe airplane travel is, I still struggle with it. I'm getting better at it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And I have not been going out recently. I go through phases where I go out a lot. Then I don't. Then I do. Then I don't. Then I decide that I'm never going out again. Then I decide that being social is the only way to live my life. It's like a very, very unhealthy back and forth. And every single time I go through a phase, I...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I'm slowly but surely getting better, but I'm still very frightened by it. Anywho, all of this to say, I just, I don't get the fucking hype of skydiving. Like, quite literally everything else is on my bucket list before that. Everything. Okay, next. It's okay not to have any friends from the past. You know, I've...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I feel like there's a negative stigma around people who don't have friends from elementary school, middle school, high school, people who don't have a friend group from college, people who don't have friends from the past. And in some ways, like I've even heard people say that that's like a red flag. You know, if somebody doesn't have any friends from the past, that's a red flag.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And I really don't agree. And I think it's because I'm somebody who has gone through many friend groups in my life. And I've not retained too many friendships. I definitely have retained some, not in like any sort of close way, but like I'm cool and cordial with almost every, I'd say probably 90% of the people that I've ever been friends with. Right. We're cool. All is good. There's no bad blood.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I mean, there's the 10%, okay, where shit is maybe a little rocky, but 90%, all good vibes. If I were to see these people, it'd be delightful, kind, loving. How are you? Everything's good. But the reason why the friendships have not remained friendships... is because we grew apart. And I think a lot of times, you know, we end up staying in friendships for nostalgic purposes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And we spend a lot of energy up keeping these friendships from middle school or high school or when we were teenagers, when we were in our early 20s, whatever, for the wrong reasons, you know, not because we're still, you know, providing value to each other and interested in the same stuff and like spending time together, like what friendship is for.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Because, well, we were friends at one time, so we should probably still be friends now. We should probably still go get coffee sometimes. We should still go get lunch sometimes. We should still invite each other to stuff. I think it's okay not to. Like, it's okay to let friendships fizzle.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And my argument for why it's okay and it's healthy is because we only have so much energy to give to others, you know? And depending on your personality type and who you are, like, some people have less than others. Like, I am, according to some online quiz that I took once, 50% introverted, 50% extroverted.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And to be honest, like, I don't have time to have a lot of friends and really truly give my all to those friendships, you know? Like... I I'd rather really put all my love and care into like three to five friendships that are really important to me than like give 25 percent to 25 people from different phases of my life. That's just who I am.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
think that that phase will last for the rest of my life, which is stupid, just to then ultimately go back to how I was before. You know what I mean? Like, it's just a mess. So what was the point of all that? Oh, I went out last night after not going out for a while. I actually had fun and that's kind of rare. So good for me. But now my voice is raspy and sexy and smoldering. Okay. That is my cat.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
And yeah, I think it's okay to have different friends throughout your life. I think that's normal. I think there are some friends that you're going to be friends with forever, maybe. I think that that's also like, that can be a beautiful thing. But I think the lack of that is not inherently a red flag, in my opinion.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Like, I could logically explain why I'm not friends with every single friend I've ever had anymore, right? Like, there is a clear-cut, obvious reason that's healthier for the both of us. Either we just don't really enjoy each other's company that much anymore. Like, we just don't click. Or we have very different, like, morals and values to a point.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
To a point, I'm all about, like, having sort of different values and morals within reason, you know? Like, I think we should be able to agree to disagree with people. But sometimes it's like... sometimes it's just unpleasant. You know, it's like, eh, we disagree on too many things. So it's kind of hard to have any sort of like productive conversation with this person.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Or maybe they moved away and it's just like hard to keep in contact. Like, I'm not going to call this person on the phone once a week. Like, we just grew apart. You know what I'm saying? Like, there's always some sort of reason. And I think it's okay. I think it's like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Something interesting that I've noticed about people who have maintained friend groups from, say, high school into their, you know, mid-20s, early 30s, is that it tends to be very problematic. Now, I don't want to make such a blanket statement. I think there are definitely times when it's delightful and... magical and amazing and loving and awesome.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
But I've seen a lot of high school friend groups that quite literally hate each other now, but they're just hanging out with each other because they feel like they have to. You know what I mean? And in my opinion, I'm like, go make new friends who make more sense for this phase of your life. There's nothing wrong with that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
Listen, my main point of this is it's okay to not have friends from the past. It doesn't mean you're a bad person. It's not necessarily a red flag. And I'm kind of biased because I'm somebody who doesn't have as many friends from my past. I do. Like I have... Some friends from when I first moved to L.A.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
who I like don't hang out with as much, but I still am in contact with them and we chat and we catch up every once in a while. I still talk to a few people from middle school. We rarely hang out, but we catch up every once in a while. Like it happens, but none of these people are my best friends. You know what I mean? It's not like these are people that I'm hanging out with all on a weekly basis.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I'm talking to you on a weekly basis. And I think that's okay. I don't think that's like inherently a red flag. I have new friends today that make sense for who I am as an adult, you know? And we have things in common as adults. We've evolved and ended up at a similar place, and that's why it works today, and that's why the friendship's so rewarding. So, anywho. Next.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion, for one. For two, I'm about to talk about movies. And I'm somebody who shouldn't talk about movies because I have not seen many movies in my life. That is, like, one of my key character traits. It was recently Halloween and everybody was dressed up in costumes from different movies and TV shows and stuff.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
I did not know who anyone was because I've seen no movies. Listen, have I seen some? Sure. But there's a lot of classic movies I've not seen. Like I've not seen the movie Clueless. I've not seen The Notebook. I've not seen Titanic. Like these huge movies that everyone has seen, I have not seen. It's very weird. It's very bizarre.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
olives are best pizza topping, unpopular opinions
But I think it honestly stems from the fact that I just grew up watching YouTube. And to this day, I choose YouTube over movies nine out of ten times, you know? I just don't watch a lot of movies. With that being said, for some reason, I've seen a lot of horror movies, especially ones within the last five years. I think it's because... It's one of those things that you watch with a boyfriend.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Probably about a year ago now, I woke up one day and I decided, you know what? I think I'm ready. I think I'm ready to embark on the journey to quitting nicotine. After six years of addiction, about a year ago, I woke up and decided, you know what? I think I'm ready to embark on the journey to quitting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Like if Cheez-Its came out with like a new Cheez-It, like Kate always had them. Like Kate always had cool stuff. And I remember one day, Kate came into history class And I saw her sucking on something. And we were friends. So I went up to her and I was like, what is that? And she gave me one. She's like, it's a coffee Rio. I was like, what's that? She's like, it's like a coffee flavored candy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I got it at the candy store. And there was like a candy store that was, you know, like a 15 minute walk from our school. And I was like, oh, okay. I remember I tried it and it tasted like, okay, if you were to combine like a Frappuccino, like a Starbucks Frappuccino,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
and a Tootsie Roll and then make it a little bit harder, like a Jolly Rancher, like a little bit like texture in between a Jolly Rancher and a Tootsie Roll. So like kind of hard, but not as hard as a hard candy Jolly Rancher, right? And it tastes like a Frappuccino. It's like sweet, milky coffee, right? And you suck on it. It's like that, okay? Like it's maybe an inch and a half long, whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I became obsessed, okay? And immediately after school ended that day, I walked down to the little candy store. And I bought an entire, this candy store was like a bulk candy store. Like you could buy stuff in bulk. So they had all these different bins and you could like fill up a bag. So I went over and I filled up a massive bag filled with the Coffee Rios. Okay, they're called Coffee Rios.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And for years, like for like probably the rest of middle school, I was constantly sucking on these. I was obsessed with them. And I actually have some at my house right now. I ordered them again online. I found them online somewhere. and bought them. They're kind of rare. Like you don't see them around, but they're so good. Oh my God. They're so good. Like even today they hold up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
They're fucking delicious. But that wasn't my only middle school oral fixation. Okay. Another discovery that I happened to discover was From Kate. I don't know. Kate was an influencer, to be honest. Kate was influencing. Another oral fixation that came from Kate was one day she came to school and she had a sore throat. Okay. And she brought cough drops to school.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Now, as we know, I already had a cough drop obsession earlier in my life. It was the cherry cough drops. Okay. Kate brought to school a cough drop that I had never seen before. This was, I believe it was the Halls brand menthol minty cough drop. And I was like, huh. what's that? She was like, it's so minty. And I remember like smelling her breath and it was so minty.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I was like, like she was talking to me and I could like, it was just wafting out of her mouth, the smell of this like insane mint menthol. And I was like, oh my God, can I try one? She was like, of course. Once again, Kate influencing me. I became obsessed with With the menthol cough drop, I was more obsessed with the coffee Rio candy, but I also absolutely loved the menthol cough drop.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
It was like a refreshing alternative because like the coffee Rio was, you know, it's coffee. It like was kind of rich, you know, whereas the menthol cough drop was refreshing, refreshing. Next, we have some oral fixations that actually my dad and I both share. We both loved these. These were things that we enjoyed together. Number one, Sean White gum.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Close your eyes and go back to 2013 for a minute and remember the Sean White gum. It was like a sweet mint gum by the brand Stride, I think. And it was a collab with Sean White and Sean White's face was on it. And I wasn't even into winter sports, okay, at all. I don't know why we tried the Sean White collab gum. We didn't even really know who Sean White was.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
But my God, did we love his gum collab. Wow, wow, wow, it was good. It was good. And we chewed that gum every day on the way to school for years and years and years. We'd be driving to school and we would be just chewing on that Shawmite gum. And you know what else we would have? Classic peppermint Lifesavers. Okay. The Lifesaver sucker mints. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And those were nice because I could actually bring those with me to school and have them with me at school. And it was allowed because gum was not allowed at school. Okay. So I'd have to spit it out when I got there. But the Lifesavers, I could absolutely have at school.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And those were all great, but definitely like, I can't express to you, all of these different oral fixations were not just like little things I'd enjoy here and there. Or like things that I would use, you know, for like a functional purpose. Like I wasn't sucking on the cough drops because my throat hurt, right? I wasn't chewing gum or sucking on the mints because my breath was a bit sour.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
No, no, no. You know, I wasn't popping an occasional coffee Rio candy for funsies. I wasn't having an occasional like these were all like oral obsessions. And they all sort of have a through line in a way like they were really interesting to my palate. And they, all of them weirdly brought me peace in one way or another. Like they all sort of served some sort of weird emotional purpose.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
You know, like the ones that I'd enjoy in class made me feel, you know, less anxious at school. You know, the stuff that I'd have at home would help me decompress after potentially an anxious day. Like, I don't know. It just makes sense to me. And then I got a little bit older and I started enjoying orange Tic Tacs. Okay. I don't really know when it started.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Wait, the orange... I just remember... Hold on. I just had an insane flashback and I have to share it, but I don't even know if it's accurate. I thought that the orange Tic Tacs started when I was older, but I just realized that they actually might have started in elementary school. So when I was like literally five, six years old, I actually think...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Someone had orange Tic Tacs in elementary school and gave me one. And I'm now remembering it. And I think that they said that they got it from church or something. They had gotten orange Tic Tacs from their church. This is such a weird memory. I can't remember it. Anyway. So now I'm realizing that I liked orange Tic Tacs when I was like five years old.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I was still sucking my thumb then, but apparently I liked orange Tic Tacs then too. But when I got a bit older, I always had orange Tic Tacs in my car because I absolutely loved them. So that was something that sort of came back for me. I wasn't really addicted to them though when I was like five years old. I think I just liked them and then it became more of like an obsession later on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Now let's get to the dirty stuff, okay? After I was done with school and I was an adult living in the real world, even though I wasn't really an adult, I was still kind of a teenager, we started with the nicotine, okay? We started with the nicotine. And I was just absolutely doomed from the start.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I was so made for nicotine addiction because all forms of nicotine, cigarettes, vape, nicotine pouches, Even like dip, chew, all that stuff. Not that I'm dipping, but I've never even tried that. But all of that is very oral, right? And it's also, so it's like, not only is it oral, but it also is chemically addictive because of the nicotine. I was fucking doomed from the start.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I never, ever should have even tried it. But I did. And it's funny because actually when I first tried it, I remember I first tried the vape when I was actually in high school and all my friends started to get jewels. If you remember the jewel vape, you know, the chic little black one, right? You all know what a jewel is. A jewel, right? everyone started using the Juul.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Okay, it was like very popular. But at that time, I was very against it. I was like, I'm never gonna smoke. That's disgusting. I would never do that. You know, when you're young, you find these things foul. And then a lot of times you grow out of it and then you grow to love them. Like I thought drinking was foul when I was in middle school. I was like, I would never drink.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
That is so like bad for you. And then by like, I don't know, the third month of freshman year, I was like getting drunk. You know what I mean? And it was the same thing with nicotine and vape at first. I was like, I'm not trying that. I'm not trying that. But I remember some of my friends started to get Juuls and then other of them started to get like box vapes, like the big, you know, box vape.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
This journey has taught me a lot, a lot about myself, a lot about addiction. I've learned a lot, but I'd say through it all, the most significant thing that I learned was was how truly intense my oral fixation is. Okay, I knew I had an oral fixation. I sucked my thumb as a kid, I love the vape, the vape is like a pacifier for me, like, you know, calms me down or whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I remember my friends who had box vapes, they actually didn't have... nicotine juice in there. It was like nicotine free. And I remember trying it and thinking it was kind of fun and I would hit the vape in the car and it didn't have any nicotine. And then eventually I tried the Juul and I hated it because it didn't, I don't know, it didn't taste as good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Like the really sweet like box vape was much more like yummy and fun. So, you know, and that didn't have nicotine in it. So I was like less afraid of it. And in high school, I never got into it. And everybody around me was using them. Everyone was addicted and I wasn't. And then again, I moved out. moved to LA, and that's when I got addicted. I think I was under a lot more stress.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I think I was having a hard time. I was working really long hours, which sounds insane. It's like, Emma, you're a fucking YouTuber. Shut the fuck up. I get it. But my YouTube videos used to take like fucking 30 hours to edit. And because I, you know, they were really complicated edits and it was a really grueling process.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I would have a hard time sitting and editing for like eight hours straight, which now that I'm older, I have less of a hard time with. But when I was like, I don't know, 17, it was a bit harder for me, 17, 18. So the vape really helped me. Yeah. So I got super addicted to the vape, specifically the Juul, specifically mango Juul pod. Do we all remember the mango Juul pod?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Listen, I don't think anyone should vape. I scream from the fucking rooftops. Nicotine is the devil. Don't touch it. But my God, I close my eyes and I think back to the mango Juul pod and I shed a small fucking tear. Okay. Small fucking tear falls down my cheek because I think about the mango Juul pod. I think about the flavor.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I think about the flavor and I remember the sweet, sweet memories of my teenage years. I fucking loved the mango jewel pot, but they did discontinue it. Why? Because children like me were using them. Okay. Children like me. Wow. Isn't that just poetic? And I remember being like, why the fuck are they banning them? Like kids aren't even using them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Like it's, it's like people like me, like teenagers. It's like, yeah, you're the reason why they're banning them, idiot. Anyway, so it was so funny. For majority of my vaping career, if you will, I was underage and it was always such a grind to get Juul pods. It was a fucking grind. I had to rely on others or get sneaky with it. It was complicated, but I made it happen. I made it happen. And
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
You know, for many years, I was very addicted to the vape and I didn't ever even really try to quit. It was just sort of a part of my routine. And, you know, I used various different types. I used the Juul for a long time on and off. I also used disposable ones that are probably worse for you than the Juul. I mean, the Juul is bad enough. It's all bad for you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
But like the disposable ones that have like, that are coming like bright colors and like crazy flavors, those are literally, those are radioactive, you guys. We have to stop using those. Let me tell you. I mean, they're absolutely incredible. They're delicious. But I mean, we cannot, we must stop using them. And now they're coming out with the vapes that have like the screen on the side.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
If you know what I'm talking about, it's insane, you guys. We have to stop. But I've tried it all. My favorite was always the Juul. But eventually, I got to a point where I was like, all right, I need to stop. I feel like this is truly unhealthy. But I literally tried to quit vaping for one day, and I had such an insane mental breakdown that I was like, I can't do this. And so I got into the Zin.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And the Zin is like a nicotine pouch. And for a long time, I absolutely loved the Zin. It was like... It, to me, didn't feel as unhealthy. Do not take that as fact, okay? I don't want all of the ear, nose, and throat doctors, I guess just for the sake of the throat, but I don't want the ear, nose, and throat doctors to be like, uh, excuse me, or I guess it would be dentist or gum doctor, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Anyway, I don't need doctors being like, Emma Chamberlain is spreading false information. She's saying that the nicotine pouches are healthier than the vape. No, it's not. They're all bad. I know they're all bad. But to me, I was like, all right, I'm letting something sit in my mouth versus inhaling something all the time like this must be better. This must be healthier.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Like, I knew I had an oral fixation. But I didn't know how severe and intense and extreme it was until I embarked on this journey to quitting nicotine. And then I had months at a time where I didn't have any nicotine and the oral fixation didn't go away. The nicotine, I was able to quit for months at a time. The oral fixation has yet to waver, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I felt like I was getting the buzz from the nicotine. I was really happy with that. And I honestly was like, I don't think I'm ever going to quit nicotine now. I love these so much. And they feel so much healthier. How could these be bad? How could they be wrong? I'm not inhaling anything. It can't be bad.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
But then I went through a breakup and the breakup was tough and I needed some happy chemicals in the brain. So I started juuling again. I got a new juul. And then I juuled for probably like another six months. And then I was like, all right, enough's enough. Like, you know, I started to get really bad health anxiety again about it. And I was like, I shouldn't be doing this anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
So then I went back to the Zin. And then in California, they banned the flavored Zin. And I was like, God damn it. Now what? And I was kind of faced with that dilemma of like, now what? And that's when I sort of woke up and decided I need to figure something else out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I actually forgot to mention, there was a brief moment before I found the Zin where I tried Nicorette gum, which is like nicotine gum. And I just wanted to say that I hated it. I didn't mention it earlier because it never really became... like a consistent part of my routine. But I tried it and I absolutely hated it. It didn't work for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
But anyway, so yeah, I ultimately got to the point where I was like, it's being discontinued in California. Like I'm not going to be able to find it. But then also like, I shouldn't be doing this shit anyway. And like, it's probably better if I just quit. And so that was when I came to the conclusion that I was ready to embark on the journey to quitting nicotine.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And that sort of unleashed a whole new wave of oral fixations. I went cold turkey this time. You know, in the past, like when I would quit vaping, I would go to the Zin. But this last time that I decided I was going to quit, I didn't have that. It was just like, all right, I guess... I guess that's it. And so I was really, really desperate for oral fixations. So first I started with gum, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I was just buying like the average gum that we all know and love, okay? Like... We all know the big brands. My particular favorite was Ice Cube's Ice Breakers. That was the absolute best. But I also had a moment with the, I believe it was the brand Extra, and it was like Extra Mint Medley.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
It was like Mint Medley and it came in like, you know, a little, instead of coming in like a cardboard-ish sort of little pack, it came in a plastic box and it was like these kind of crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside, like minty sort of squares. It's kind of similar to an ice breakers ice cube, except it was hard on the outside and the flavor was a bit different. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Anyway, so I really enjoyed those gums. I also bought Sour Patch Kid flavored gum. I was just buying gum left and right. And for a really long time, I was chewing gum, like two months of chewing gum. And But I started to notice that I was getting really extreme stomach pain, like really bad, really, really bad. And I... Yeah, I knew what it was from.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I say embark on the journey to quitting instead of just quitting because unfortunately, nicotine is a little bit too addictive to just wake up one day and decide to quit, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
It was from the aspartame, which is the artificial sweetener in gum. It's really hard on the stomach. And it's not particularly a loved ingredient, right? People who are health conscious do not like aspartame. It's kind of like the mass artificial sweetener. They use it in Diet Coke. And it's not good for your gut. It's not healthy, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And there's constantly articles about how bad it is for you. And I've seen some things about people saying it might be a carcinogen, but I haven't seen anyone confirm that. But I think it's banned in some places. It's definitely not a great ingredient. And it makes sense. Anything that's that sweet but doesn't contain any sugar, there's got to be a catch.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
We don't get anything for free in this life. So anyway, I experienced the catch, okay? And that was that it destroyed my gut, okay? In the beginning, when I first started chewing gum, it was fine.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I thought that I was addicted to nicotine for nicotine, right? Wrong, no. I think more than I'm even addicted to nicotine, and I'm really addicted to nicotine, I'm addicted to having an oral fixation, okay? Now, if you don't know what an oral fixation is, don't worry, I Googled it for you. An oral fixation is an unhealthy, obsessive behavior that involves the mouth.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
But eventually, after chewing, like literally, I kid you not, a piece from the time that I woke up to the time I went to sleep, like replacing the pieces every hour, probably chewing like 20 pieces of gum a day. Okay, maybe not, maybe like 12 to 15, but like a lot of gum, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I think the aspartame eventually just like fucked with my stomach or maybe like I, I don't know what happened, but something bad really started to happen and I started to get insanely painful gut issues. Like I started getting horrible cramps on a daily basis that were so bad that I literally got to a point one day where I was like, I cannot, like this cannot happen again tomorrow.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And so I was faced with the decision, like, what now? And so I started chewing aspartame-free gum. And that actually fixed the problem. My stomach wasn't hurting anymore, but guess what? Guess what started to happen? I was chewing so much gum, I started to get jaw pain, okay? And I also started to notice facial puffiness. And I was like, what is going on?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Like my face started to look puffy and my like jaw was looking bloated. And I was like, you would think if I was chewing gum all day that my jaw would be like sharp, like it would be like insane, like the sharpest jawline anyone's ever seen. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It made my face look very round and bloated. And it was not good. I wasn't sure if that was what it was from.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And so I just kept chewing gum and my jaw progressively started to get worse and worse. And then I went into my orthodontist for like a routine sort of checkup because I'm doing Invisalign on my bottom teeth. I'm doing braces for the thousandth, millionth time. And I was talking to her about how I've been chewing a lot of gum.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
She was like, oh God, you might get TMJ, which is like some sort of jaw condition that you can get from chewing too much gum. And I think I started to get that. Yeah. Not only that, but the aspartame-free gum wasn't that good anyway. It did the trick, but it lost flavor very quickly. And that was kind of frustrating. I was having to put in a new piece constantly.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And also, gum is tough because you have to spit it out somewhere. And sometimes I didn't know where to spit it. Like, I got to the point where I was like, the brand of gum that I was using came in like these little bags and I would always keep an extra one of the bags, like an extra empty one of the bags in my purse as well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I'd spit the old gum into the empty bag and then grab new gum out of the full bag. Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah. But people really found that disgusting. People who were close to me. I wasn't like spitting the gum out in front of strangers, like at a meeting. But like my loved ones were like, Emma, what the fuck are you doing?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Like you're chewing gum all day long, spitting it into that little bag. Like it's really just weird. And the jaw pain got so bad. I was like, fuck this. What, what, like, I just need my oral fixation for the love of God. Where is it?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And then I found my recent obsession, my recent oral fixation, which is the brand... I've talked about these before on the podcast, so I'm sorry that I sound like a broken record. The Pure brand, aspartame-free... tangerine tango mints. Okay, these are just absolutely incredible. They remind me of the orange Tic Tac that I mentioned earlier, but they don't have aspartame in it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
They don't hurt my stomach yet. They're my current obsession. The only problem with them is that sometimes they make my mouth raw because I literally suck on them all day long. But so far, they're pretty reliable. And I just, I have one in my mouth all day long. I literally have the little tin with me of the little orange mints all day long. I order them on bulk on Amazon.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I'm absolutely eating them all day long. Like when I'm working, when I'm doing everything, I cannot leave the house without them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
If I leave the house without them, I get anxious in the same way that I felt when I used to leave the house without the jewel in the same way that I used to feel when I would go on a trip and forget Biggie Big, my stuffed animal, which literally never even happened because I couldn't go a night without Biggie Big, my stuffed animal. And so that is my current obsession.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
In addition to another oral fixation, one that I have not discussed yet, that is my new obsession as of the last week and a half, two weeks. Okay. And that is minty flavored toothpicks. People have been recommending like flavored toothpicks, cinnamon toothpicks, mint toothpicks, nicotine toothpicks. They actually have nicotine toothpicks for years.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
It can manifest as nail biting, thumb sucking, overeating, or smoking. It can be caused in infancy. Oral fixations can develop in babies who don't receive enough oral stimulation during infancy. It can also be caused by underlying psychological issues. Oral fixations can be a way to cope with stress, anxiety, or distress. I'm very anxious, so that definitely checks out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I've always been like, why would I want to chew on a toothpick? Do I look like a fucking cowboy? Do I look like a douchebag? Do you like, I don't want to chew on a toothpick. But actually somebody in my life who also on and off quits nicotine, uses it again, quits whatever, was like, try this toothpick. And I was like, all right, why not?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Tried the toothpick, obsessed, ordered so many of them, obsessed with them, absolutely popping the toothpick. Now I switch between, I always either have a mint in my mouth or a toothpick. The only time I don't, I'm not even kidding, is when I record this podcast. Otherwise, I have a toothpick in my mouth. I'll tell you a funny story about the toothpick.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
So as you all know, I'm obsessed with hot yoga right now. I talk about it every episode. It's so embarrassing and so cringe. It's like, who fucking cares, Emma? Like, shut the fuck up. But I love yoga. And like two days ago, I was going to a 9am class and... On the way there in the car, I had a toothpick in my mouth and I kind of forgot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And so I walk into class and I check in, whatever, and I go into the room for the class and I'm sitting there on my mat, fully ready for class, like in my yoga clothes, okay? Like ready to go. And I still have my toothpick in my mouth and I was like, oh, that's kind of funny. I forgot to take it out, but it's still minty and the class hasn't started yet. So I'm just going to chew on it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And then I start chatting with somebody in there who I actually hadn't chatted with before and And she was like, okay, so it's 9am and you're chewing on a toothpick? Like, what is going on? Like, you look cool, I guess, but like, what's going on? And I was like, oh, totally. And then I realized how fucking douchey it looks. I'm in yoga, in my like yoga clothes. And I have a toothpick in my mouth.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I'm like, like, what's happening? Anyways, loving the toothpick, though. It's incredible. It's absolutely incredible. And, you know, I'm going to put in a toothpick after this. Oh man, I have one sitting right here. I might even put one in now. It is so freaking good, the toothpick. Yum. Oh my God. Yum. Little minty toothpick.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
You know, and the thing that's funny about the toothpick too is that it actually does, it kind of does look cool. Like it is douchey, but I have to take it out of my mouth because you can hear that it's in my mouth, but it's a bit douchey, but it's kind of fucking cool. I don't know. There's something cool about it. So I'm kind of loving it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Anyway, so aspartame free orange flavored mints and minty toothpicks are my oral fixations of today. Do I think I'll ever grow out of this? I don't know. I don't know. It's interesting, too, because like I also started drinking. This is another oral fixation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
My apple cider vinegar in sparkling water drink that I've drank throughout my life on and off because my mom used to give it to me when I'd have a tummy ache. And I actually just grew to like it and liking the flavor. So I've on and off drank it throughout my life. For the last, I don't know, probably year, since my nicotine quitting journey started, I've been drinking that more.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I think it's because that also is sort of an oral fixation. It's super sour. The vinegar is super sour. And it's like something satisfying for my mouth. That's actually another one. I've talked about that a lot as well. That's another sort of obsession of mine. And I think it weirdly makes sense. I have a coffee company. Why?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Not randomly, but because since I was a teenager, I've absolutely adored always having a coffee. I love having a coffee. I love that it's bitter. It's interesting for my brain. Obviously, it also is caffeine, so I love caffeine. I'm not anti-caffeine. And I mean, thank God for that because again, I have a coffee company.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
It can also be caused by conditions like ADHD and autism. People with ADHD or autism may have oral fixations as a way to calm anxiety, focus, or channel excess energy. I have yet to be diagnosed with ADHD or autism, but people on the internet like to tell me all the time that I am both and have both. So there's a chance. Anywho, that's a little bit about oral fixations. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
If I had a coffee company and I was anti-caffeine or I grew to become anti-caffeine, that would be bad. I'm not anti-caffeine. I actually don't think caffeine is bad as long as you are responsible about your intake, which I am and we should all be. But But yeah, like, I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I think my love of like certain beverages, like I love fun beverages because I love sipping on something that's like fun and interesting. I don't know. I think it all makes sense now. You know, like so many little things that I've loved over the years make so much sense to me now because of this sort of realization that I have the worst oral fixation out of anyone possibly on the planet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
But you know, there's something kind of sweet about it. Like there's something kind of charming about the fact that like I always leave a trace because of my oral fixation. Let me explain. Like when I used to be obsessed with the cough drops or the coffee Rios, I was always leaving the little wrappers around.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Or when I got a little older and I was vaping, I would always leave jewel pods, like empty jewel pods around. Like you'd find them in my bed and in my pockets and and in my car and everywhere. And then when I was using the Zin, I would fucking spit the Zin everywhere in my car. Oh my God, this was something that was so bad. People hated this about me. People meaning my loved ones.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I used to think it was funny when I was driving... No. Oh, my God. Why do I tell stories like this? This is the type of stuff where then you guys judge me and bring it up for the next year and say that I'm disgusting. When I was driving, I used to think it was funny to spit the Zin, which was like a little nicotine pouch that I would put under my lip against my gums, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I would spit it and try to get it to stick. to my passenger side door window sometimes. I just thought it was funny. Like it was like a funny challenge to see if it would stick. It's disgusting. It's so immature. I'm sorry. But anyway, there was always zins everywhere, like little zin pouches in my pocket, you know, in my hair, in my bed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Like my mom would like fucking be like, Emma, are you kidding me? And she like, I would like give her a gift or something or like buy her groceries. And there's like a zin in the bag. It was just everywhere. With the gum, I constantly was spitting gum out. It was like my little thing. And now with the minty toothpicks, everywhere I go, there's just minty toothpicks all over everywhere.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
They're in my car. They're in my shoes somehow. How'd they get there? I don't know. But there is something kind of charming about how I always leave a trace because of my oral fixation. You know what? It could be worse. I'm excited for the day that comes when maybe I don't need any of this. I don't crave any of this. I don't want to hit a vape. I don't want to pop a Xanin.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I don't need a minty toothpick. I'm excited for that day to come, but my God, has it not come yet? And in the meantime, I'm going to enjoy my minty toothpicks and my aspartame-free orange mints in peace. And you know what? At least it's not nicotine. I don't think that these things are going to kill me. So that's better. You know, that's better.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Anyway, that was the overly detailed list of every oral fixation I've ever had in my entire life. And I hope that you enjoyed it. And if you did, don't worry. New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. I'll be back. Okay, we can hang out again if you want. And you can also find Anything Goes on social media at Anything Goes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And you can also watch on YouTube and on Spotify and listen anywhere you stream podcasts. And you can also find me on social media at Emma Chamberlain. And you can also find my coffee company at ChamberlainCoffee.com or at Chamberlain Coffee on... Oh, the toothpick's falling out of my mouth. At Chamberlain Coffee on social media.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And at a grocery store near you, perhaps, if you live near a Target or a Sprouts or an Albertsons or a Whole Foods or something, check the store locator on chamberlandcoffee.com to see if we're in a store near you. And that's it. That's all I have for today. A little trip down memory lane through the lens of my oral fixation. What a beautiful, beautiful way to take a trip down memory lane.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I'm not going to lie. I might have the worst oral fixation problem I've ever seen. Okay. I've never met someone who has as much of an oral fixation problem. Okay. And people in my life are like, girl, what is wrong with you? Like you really have an oral fixation problem. So it's not just like me self-diagnosing myself with a problem. Other people in my life are aware of it as well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I wonder what it'd feel like to not have an oral fixation. I may never know. All right. That's all I have for today. It was truly a pleasure as always. I absolutely love hanging out with you all. It's truly a joy for me and I hope it's a joy for you and I love you and I appreciate you and I'll talk to you in a few days. Oh my God, I'm just absolutely devouring my little toothpick right now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
So delicious. I wish you guys could have this tooth, share this toothpick with me. Not this exact one, but I wish we could just sit together and have toothpicks together. So good. All right, bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I think myself and my loved ones have known this about me for a long time. But this nicotine quitting journey has really just put it on display because now I have new oral fixations that are less common than like sucking on a vape. And it's just abundantly clear how bad my oral fixation problem is. Anyway, but it's also caused me to reflect on my life thus far.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Most of us who have nicotine addictions have to wake up one day and decide, all right, starting today, I'm gonna embark on the journey to quitting because quitting nicotine is incredibly challenging and it's not something that happens overnight. So if you want to quit, you have to commit to the journey because quitting is going to be a journey. And so for the last year, I've been on that journey.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And see all the signs clear as day now that hindsight is 2020, right? Like I can look back now and say, wait a minute, that was a total oral fixation when I was obsessed with eating those popsicles every single day for like two years. You know what I'm saying? Like all of these things don't just read to me as like quirky little phases anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I look back and I'm like, whoa, this has always been a thing. Like there has not been, a year in my life where I haven't had some sort of oral fixation. It's been a constant in my life. And I didn't even realize that. Like, I thought it was just I sucked my thumb as a kid and then I vaped as a teen and young adult. And that was the extent of it. But recently, I really analyzed my past.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I was like, no, there were so many more. And so today I thought it'd be fun to go down the list of every single oral fixation I've ever had throughout my life and discuss them. So without further ado, let's begin. As I mentioned, my first oral fixation was my thumb. Okay, from the time I was born to the time I was 12 years old, I sucked my thumb.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Most people stop sucking their thumb at like age five, not me. Not me, okay? It started innocently when I was like a baby baby. I sucked my thumb and I rubbed a little blanket on my lip, okay? That's how it started. And it was super precious and it was super cute, right? It's so cute when babies suck their thumb. How charming is that? Then I got a little bit older.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And on Easter, I got a little stuffed bunny one year. And this little stuffed bunny I named Biggie Big. And Biggie Big had really soft ears. And so I started sucking my thumb and rubbing Biggie Big's ear on my upper lip. Okay, so then that became my thing. And then that kind of remained my thing until I was like 12 years old.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And it was one of those things that people didn't really know that I did, right? Like starting even in preschool, the teachers did not let me suck my thumb. They were like, we don't allow this. You need to be growing out of this. It's our job to stop these bad habits, these infantile habits, whatever. So- They used to take away my little stuffed animals and stuff during the day.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I would have an absolute fit. But that's when I started to have to, you know, have some restraint with the thumb sucking because I wasn't allowed to do it, you know, in preschool. And then obviously when I got to normal school, I really couldn't do it. It really wasn't allowed. But then I also started to have some sort of self-awareness. And I was like, ooh, no one else is doing it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Like, this is embarrassing now. And so it was just sort of this thing I did after school when I was home in my bed relaxing and there was nothing quite like it. I was a very anxious child. I had horrible separation anxiety from my parents and there was just nothing like getting home and sucking my thumb and rubbing Biggie Big's ears on my upper lip.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
OK, it's like the same fucking idea as getting home from work and cracking open a cold one. Do you know what I mean? It's the same fucking vibe just for like eight year olds. It's the same vibe. That's the vibe. Just a little something to take the goddamn edge off. And it was cute and it was charming until I started to get into the younger tween sort of ages. Right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
We're talking about 10, 11, 12. Then it started to get a little bit weird. Right. It's like, what's going on? Right. She was supposed to grow out of this and she's not growing out of this. What's going on? Right. And in tandem with with that sort of concern, my jaw and teeth were getting all fucked up because during my developmental years, I was sucking my thumb.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And unfortunately, I'm not ready to sit here and say, I fully quit. There's no chance I'll ever relapse. I'm done. I'm done for life. Because when I see people with a vape, I'm like, you're going to let me hit that, right? And then I hit it. And then I ultimately had nicotine. So you know what I mean? I haven't fully quit. right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
My thumb was in my mouth for half of the day. OK, not the full day because at school they wouldn't let me. But the second I got home, my thumb was in my mouth. OK, and I was sucking along. that's half of my life. I slept with it in my mouth. Like my thumb was in my mouth so much that it messed with my mouth. It messed with my jaw.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And so I had this overbite and I had this, like I, all this, I had a bunch of issues with my teeth. Okay. And my jaw and the orthodontist I started going to is like, if you don't stop sucking your thumb, you're gonna have to get surgery, okay? So they ultimately put this metal cage in my mouth.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I don't know how to describe it other than that it was a metal cage in my mouth and it prevented my thumb from going in my mouth, okay? And then I had to get neck gear and head gear. There's all this shit, okay? After years and years and years of braces, they fixed my jaw, everything was fine, and I stopped sucking my thumb finally.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
For years following that, my mom would sometimes find me in my bed with my thumb in my mouth, and she would gently pull it out of my mouth, or so she told me. But then that was kind of the end of it. And for a long time, I thought that that was the end of it until the vape. But I was so wrong, because after I stopped sucking the thumb... I started sucking on cherry flavored cough drops.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Yeah, Luden's cherry cough drops. Okay, I remember one day I found these in my dad's drawer somewhere. Like he had this like little medicinal drawer and I don't even remember why I was in there. I wasn't doing anything like crazy going in there, but I was sort of a snoopy sort of kid. I just sort of snoop around and I found Luden's cherry cough drops. And I became addicted to those.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And for quite a while, I sucked on those. And I absolutely love them. And they're delicious. You know, like even to this day, I love a Luden's cough drop. But, you know, my parents sort of put somewhat of a limit on it from what I can remember, because they're like, this is kind of like candy, right? A Luden's cough drop is... is a sugar-based cough drop.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And to eat one or two when you have a sore throat is one thing. To be eating them all day is another. And so, you know, my parents let me have them. But like, specifically, I remember they were at my dad's specifically, but they definitely put limits on me. I would have eaten a lot more of them if I was allowed. But I also would do really weird things.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Like another example, like I used to really love the flavor of mustard. And I remember one time, this to me feels in line with the oral fixation because I really liked mustard because it was like tingly and like, I don't know, it was like fun to eat and fun to taste because it was like sour, you know? And I liked sour things as a kid. I still do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And so I would sometimes just like eat a spoonful of mustard. Again, like so odd, but there was something about it that like was sort of distracting and maybe soothing. I remember one time I took, I was watching YouTube on my iPad, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I was maybe like 10 and I went to my room and closed the door with a bottle of mustard and a spoon and I watched YouTube for like an hour and just kept squeezing more mustard onto the spoon and eating it, okay? That is weird, you guys. That's totally weird, okay? That's a little bit weird. But that was another thing I did. I did that multiple times.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And one day I'd like to be at a place where I see someone hitting a vape and I don't ask to hit it. When that day comes, I'll sit down here and tell you how I got there. But until then, all I can discuss is the journey because that's where I'm at right now. I'm doing really well, but I haven't fully quit yet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Only once did I like really sit there and like pretty much eat the entire thing of mustard. You know, like that only really happened once. But I definitely used to like squirt a little mustard in a spoon and like slowly eat it. And it was sort of like, you know, a little something to do. And then came the Warheads popsicles. Okay. So I used to live near a convenience store.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Growing up, I lived near a convenience store. And my dad and I would go there all the time because, you know, like we needed batteries or we needed... I don't know. Like we just needed something. So anyway, we were constantly at this convenience store. And I remember one day I walk in and on display in the front, like fully like doing a promotion loud in front of me, Warheads sour popsicles.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I said, dad, get me two boxes. Okay. So I got these Warhead popsicles. Oh no. Okay. for, I can't remember. I need to call my dad and ask him. I think probably for like two years, like every day after school, I was sucking on these for the rest of the day. Okay. My dad and I had to walk to the convenience store like once every three days to buy more boxes of these popsicles.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And that's something that would only ever happen at your dad's house with your divorced parents. Okay. Honestly, same thing with even the Luden's cherry cough drops. Like that's such a dad's house divorced. Like when your parents are divorced, going to your dad's is so chill. It's just chill. Like you can do shit. The mustard thing that was also happening at my dad's.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
All of these weird things were happening at my dad's because I was free when I was there. When I was at my mom's, she was like, Emma, Why aren't you fucking doing the dishes or getting in the shower and scrubbing your ass? Like, hello, go fluff the pillows in the living room. Hello, do your homework. Hello, brush your hair. Like I was busy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I was busy at my mom's because she was constantly on my ass. I always had shit to do. At my dad's, I was just chilling. So my oral fixations were really coming out. Anyway, I was obsessed with these Warheads Popsicles. And it's so funny because they eventually stopped selling them at the convenience store. And I craved them every day since.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I don't know, probably like four or five years ago, I decided to order them on Amazon. I found them on Amazon. I was like, let's go. And And anyway, so I kind of got back into them for a period of time. But they weren't the same. At that point, I was already vaping. I didn't need a Popsicle, you know what I mean? They still tasted good, but yeah, it wasn't quite the same.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Okay, next oral fixation happened in middle school, okay? I had this friend named Kate. I don't know why I'm saying her name. Kate, if you remember me, I'm talking about you. Kate always had cool stuff, I felt like. Like Kate was one of those girls, like she always had cool pens or like yummy food at lunch, like trendy food.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Today, I'm going to tell you a story. Okay. Today, I'm going to tell you a story about something that happened to me a few weeks ago that I didn't bring up sooner because I completely forgot that it happened. Okay. Up until today, while I was eating my lunch, I completely forgot that this happened. completely forgot. And that's something I don't do often.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
But, you know, I realized in that moment how truly terrifying the concept of skiing is to me. Every element of it taps into one of my biggest fears. OK, number one, the fear of heights. I wasn't always afraid of heights, but as I've gotten older, my fear of heights has gotten worse. And I struggle with flying on the plane.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
You know, I go through phases where it's like I literally it is just really hard for me. Then I have phases where I get over it. I teeter back and forth. You know, it's something I'm working on, but I definitely struggle with it. you know, I have no interest in like skydiving. I never have. That's just terrifying to me. Like that's not like a fun, you know, life goal, life activity.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Like, oh my God, once in a lifetime bucket list, gotta go, gotta skydive. Like, no thanks. I hate heights, okay? But I also hate things that are unnecessarily dangerous. And skiing, snowboarding, all of these things are very dangerous, okay? There is so much risk for injury. The risk for injury is very high. You could run into a tree. You could get hit by another skier or snowboarder.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
You could, I don't know, get frostbite. I don't fucking know, but like a lot of bad things can happen. And I am somebody who really deeply fears injury. Like, I'm very afraid of injury, okay? And I'm pretty paranoid about it. But another thing about me is that I'm really particular about my body and how my body feels. Like, I'm very sensitive about... how things feel on my body. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
So a good example of that would be when I was a kid, I was really particular about my socks, specifically the seam on top of the toe on a sock, because I was very focused on that sensation on my foot. Like if it was not right, if it was poking me or digging into my skin, like that really bothered me. I've always been really particular about the tags in my clothes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
If there's an itchy tag in my clothes, can't do it. Have to cut it out. I cut out pretty much every single tag in every single piece of clothing that I wear. I've always preferred participating in sports that require less clothing. Like I like doing physical activity in less clothing. And I'll give you an example of that. I grew up doing cheerleading and gymnastics.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
you wear very aerodynamic, limited clothing for those sports because that's what makes the most sense versus lacrosse or surfing. Those things have always been a bit more challenging for me because I don't like having gear on me. I don't like the feeling of...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
holding a lacrosse stick and wearing a lacrosse mask and having a mouth guard in and wearing knee pads and having all this stuff on my body. Like I don't feel comfortable like that. It's hard for me to focus. It makes me feel claustrophobic and anxious. Same thing with, you know, like a wetsuit. Like I've always hated putting on a wetsuit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And, you know, recently I tried surfing with my dad within the last probably six months and I got a really thick wetsuit, super thick. It's great because once it's on, it keeps you warm. But getting that thing on and off, I actually couldn't do it alone. I had to have someone help because it was so tight and so sucked onto my body. And I had a really hard time with that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
I remember the first day I was trying to get the wetsuit off after I had surfed with my dad. I was in the shower and water running, I'm sitting on the ground, I'm trying to get the strap over my head. And I physically like couldn't do it. It was too tight. I was using every single ounce of strength that I had. And I'm not weak. Okay, I'm I feel like I'm actually pretty strong.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
You know what I mean? Couldn't get it over my head. And I just started crying because the feeling of like being stuck, I can't handle it. It really, really bothers me. So anyway, I went off on that long tangent to sort of express to you how much I don't like the feeling of having clothes on my body, equipment on my body, things like that that aren't ergonomic, don't feel human, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
I prefer things that feel comfortable or even non-existent. And skiing requires some of the most uncomfortable, clothing and equipment that you could ever imagine. Okay. You can barely move when you're wearing, you know, a whole snow suit and then you're wearing the skis like you can't move. So all of this is dawning on me while I'm on the ski lift. Holy fuck. This is my nightmare.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Every single thing about this is I hate. But at the same time, I'm like, I want to like it. I want to like it so bad because I've always wanted to be able to do it. I've always wanted to be able to go on the ski trips with people. I love hanging out in the ski town. You know, maybe one day I would love to... make a tradition out of coming to a ski town every winter.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Like I've always wanted to, you know, participate in that. And I've never fully been able to because I've never been able to participate in the winter sports. So I, you know, I motivated myself by thinking about how satisfying it would be if I did like it, you know, like, oh, so many beautiful things would come from liking it. So let me just try to like it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And more importantly than that, let me just try to get down the fucking hill. Because I'm on my way to the top and there's only one way down. So I'm going to need to figure it out. The ski lift pushes us off.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
I get off successfully, which is kind of impressive, honestly, because the way you get off the ski lift, if you've never skied before, is it like kind of just spits you out onto like a very small little hill and then you ride it down. So like you just kind of stand up. and start going. You start skiing immediately, which makes sense. That's smart.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Thanks to Amazon One Medical and Amazon Pharmacy for sponsoring today's episode. Now let's get back to the episode. So let me set the scene for you. For New Year's this year, I got invited to go on a little trip with some friends, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
But I don't know, if you've never skied before, it's kind of challenging to just start like that. But I did that successfully and I was like, huh, okay, that was pretty good. And then I slowly start going the mountain. And for the first, I don't know, 10 minutes, I was going pretty slow, but I was actually starting to get it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Like I was like, had my skis going straight and then like had them like turning in and then out and then in and out. And I was like, I'm kind of like weaving my way along here. I'm kind of picking up some speed. Like maybe this is great. And then it starts to get a little bit steeper. And my instructor tells me, you know, Emma, you want to ski back and forth in an S shape, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
So like ski to the right and then ski to the left by turning, right? And that's the most effective way to slow down when going down a more steep slope. hill, right? The method of slowing down that he had taught us earlier, which is, you know, putting your skis in like a triangle shape, kind of sticking out your heels and putting your toes together, you know, that helps with smaller hills.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
But when you start to get to the slightly steeper stuff, it's better to weave like that. I really struggle with this. Okay. I was good at turning earlier, but I wasn't turning like back and forth and back and forth. Meanwhile, I'm completely overwhelmed because there are people bombing the fucking hill, going down at an alarming rate.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And meanwhile, I'm like swerving back and forth at like three miles per hour and getting into people's way. And he's like, don't worry about them. They know what they're doing. It's all good. And I'm like, no, this is a horrible, none of these people are professional. We have no idea what they're doing. one of them is going to run into me. So I'm starting to get really upset and scared.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And that's when I start falling. Okay. I start falling a lot because I just start losing control. It's getting steeper. It's getting harder for me to do the sort of S turns that he's telling me to do. And I just start falling a lot. And every time I fall, I feel my knees bending in a way that to me feels a little bit too close to a snap. Okay. Falling with skis on, like they're heavy and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
they get caught on stuff. I kept bending my knees in like completely unnatural ways every time, like really hurting my knees. And I'm like, I'm not going to get down this mountain with my kneecaps intact. Like I'm going to lose a kneecap by the time I get to the bottom. So that really starts to upset me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
A group of like 10 friends, some friends that I'm super close with, some friends that I'm maybe a bit less close with, but a big group, 10 people, to a mountain town, okay? Like a ski town. Snow, ski lifts, ski mountains, snow. Cute little shops, cute little restaurants. You know the vibe, a little ski town. I absolutely love a ski town. So I was so excited for this trip.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
But also the fact that I'm like wearing all this equipment and I'm falling and then I'm trying to get up. It's like my fucking nightmare. I have a mental breakdown, start crying again, sobbing. All of a sudden I just start sobbing. I'm like, I don't know how I'm ever going to get down. And meanwhile, like I asked, like, how much further do we have to go? We had gone a quarter of the way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
No, not even. At that point, we had gone less than a quarter. We had gone like a tenth of the way. Okay, it was... We had so long to go. And the entire rest of the way down the ski mountain, okay, my ski instructor is ahead of me, sort of guiding me. People are zooming around me. I am at this point uncontrollably crying, okay, inconsolable at this point. you know, my friends are passing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
They're like, go Emma, good job. Won't talk to them. I'm like, I can't even talk to these people. I love everyone, but don't fucking talk to me. Don't even look at me until I'm down this goddamn mountain. This is my nightmare. I am living. This is my personal hell. And it's not going to end for another 30 minutes, probably at minimum. Like I truly felt trapped. And you know, when like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
you're not supposed to laugh, but then you start laughing. And then for some reason you can't stop, but you know, you shouldn't be laughing. That's exactly what happened to me, but with crying. Okay. I know I shouldn't be crying. There are 11 year olds just rushing past me and their parents are looking at me like, why is this 23 year old woman sobbing?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And my 11 year old is just bombing the hill like a savage, you know, like what is happening? What went wrong for this poor child? And, Adult child, what went wrong? Good question. It was one of the longest, I don't know, 45 minutes of my life. And every minute that went by got worse because the ski hill was not getting any less steep. In fact, the opposite was happening.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
It was only getting steeper. And so with every minute that passes, it was getting harder for me to continue standing, to not start going super fast, to not fall. And I was inconsolable. snot running down my face, tears running down my face, you know, my knees were like shaking. Okay. And in this moment, I'm thinking to myself, what am I going to learn from this?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
You know, like, is this really like, like, Is this empowering? I was like, facing your fears, doing things that are hard. At what point is challenging yourself just like almost like self abuse, right? Like, at what point is it self harm in a way? Why did I make this decision? Like I knew I wasn't going to like it. And I knew that everything about it tapped into some of my biggest fears.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Why am I doing it? Am I even doing it to face the fear? Not really. I'm doing it because I'm jealous of other people who enjoy it. But like my likelihood, my chances of enjoying this... are slim to none. Like everything I know about myself contradicts the decision to ski. And yet I did it anyway. And why? Like, is anything positive going to come out of this?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Or was this just sort of an act of negligence and self-harm in a way? You know, negligence by... not paying attention to myself and what I like and what I don't like and doing something just because I'm jealous that other people find joy in it. And I wish I did too.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And self-harm by being like, eh, you're going to hate all this stuff, but do it anyway and stop being a baby and learn a thing or two along the way. Like just fucking do it, idiot. Like that kind of sort of self-harm in a way. I remember seeing the end, finally, coming around a corner and looking down the mountain and seeing the end.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
But in front of me, before the end, was the steepest part of the hill yet. I barely even remember the last five, 10 minutes of the ski run because I was crying so hard. But I do remember getting to the bottom and being so happy. I think, I was like, I cannot believe the side of myself that just came out. Like, I cannot believe what a weakness this, you know, brought out in me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
I've always loved a ski town. There's something about it that's so peaceful and charming in the most dystopian way. But it's dystopian in like a theme park sort of way and like a Disneyland sort of way. And I've just always loved it. However, I've never skied. I've never snowboarded. Every time I've ever gone to a little ski town, I've just been there to hang out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
I'm somebody who I would say is really good at staying composed for the most part. I think when faced with chaos, despite being a really anxious person by nature, I am actually quite proud of my ability to stay level-headed. I feel like I keep my cool, mainly for the sake of other people, right? Like, I don't want to burden other people with my own chaos when chaos is already happening.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Or when chaos is not happening, and I just don't want to damper the mood, right? Like, listen... There are moments in life when we need to explode, right? And sometimes that's necessary. But for the most part, I like to keep it cool. Not because I'm trying to be cool, but just because I think it's a healthy approach to try to keep it together and handle things with strength and grace and maturity.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And I feel like for the most part, I do that. And that's something that I'm really proud of, but that all went out the fucking window on the ski hill. Okay. That all went out the window, all the grace, all the tact, all the maturity fucking out the window. And to be honest, I was completely mortified. I was like, I am a pathetic baby. Like all I did was go down the ski hill.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
What the fuck is going on? And that's kind of where the story ends. You know, I took off all my equipment immediately after. threw it in the car and drove as fast as I could away from that goddamn ski mount, okay? And I went back to the house that we were all staying in and I told everyone my story. We all had a laugh about it and then I forgot until today when I was eating my yogurt bowl.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And you know, I'm still sort of trying to figure out what I learned from this. I'm not quite sure yet. But one positive that came out of it immediately was I'm definitely never going to go skiing again. And I don't think that that's necessarily like a negative thing or a pessimistic thing. It's not like I hate it and I'm never doing it again. It's clear that I don't like it, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And I don't think that there's a reason to try to force myself to get to a point where I do like it. I'm glad that I tried it and I pushed myself to the limit to try to like it. Because it showed me that I really don't like it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And there is sort of something freeing about that because now in the future, I'm not going to look at other people skiing and snowboarding and say, oh my God, like I wish I was out there with them. You know, I wish I could, I want to try it. Maybe I should try it. Maybe I should learn. Maybe I'm going to learn. No, I'm not. And you know what? That's okay. That is OK.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And I do still have a bit of envy for people who enjoy it and love it. But there's also things that I enjoy and I love that other people don't enjoy and don't love. And they wish that they enjoyed and loved it. Like I love hot yoga. OK, I fucking love it. I'm like obsessed with it right now. There are so many people that have the same response to skiing to hot yoga. Meanwhile, I love it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
I love the challenge. My body likes it. I've been doing cheerleading and gymnastics since I was young, so I am a bit more flexible. My body just likes it, and I get it, and it works for me. But there are so many people that would do anything to be able to do it. So it's like, I guess one positive epiphany
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
that came from the experience was kind of letting go of the desire to participate in that, but also like considering in the future, like, hey, it's good to try everything once, right? And I'm glad I did that with skiing. But I don't know. Like, it's also okay to be like, you know what? I don't want to try that because I know myself and I know I'll hate it. I don't know. I'm still figuring it out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Except for one time when I tried to snowboard for like an hour and like never even stood up. So I like I guess you could say, you know, I tried it once, but I don't even count it really. All of my experiences at ski mountains involve drinking a hot beverage by a fire in the lodge. Okay. I'm not going down the mountain. And that's because I didn't grow up doing it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Anyway, you guys, I don't know. Okay. Tell me what you think I learned from this. What do you think I learned from this? Maybe I learned nothing, but maybe the fact that I got through it helped build a little bit of self-esteem inside of me. Maybe it didn't, though. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, so that's my mortifying skiing story.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Moral of the story is I'm never skiing again, ever. But I will be returning to a ski mountain because I do love hanging out at a ski mountain. So you will catch me shopping around in the little ski town, but you will not catch me on the ski lift ever again. I wish that I could sit here and say, you guys face your fears because it will make your life so much better.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
When something significant happens, I don't often erase it from my memory, especially if it's a story that I could tell on my podcast. Okay, I'm in the business of telling stories. I don't forget about a story, but somehow this one was so traumatic for me that I completely blocked it out up until today at around 12 or 5 p.m. when I was eating my yogurt bowl.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
But I can't say that about everything. You know, I could say that about, you know, having a fear of flying in planes, right? Like I'm so frightened of flying in planes. However, it's so important for me as a person, for my career, and for my own sense of adventure in this life to get on a goddamn plane and travel. So I push myself to do it anyway. And I face that fear.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And that is sort of somewhat empowering. And for brief periods, it actually does sort of help alleviate the fear. But I've noticed, at least with, say, my fear of flying, the fear does come back. So it's sort of this constant battle. And maybe I'll get over it one day. I probably will. But right now it's sort of a battle, okay? But I face that fear all the time because it's crucial that I do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Facing the fear of skiing, I'm not quite sure what I gained from it. So yeah, I don't have some sort of like beautiful theme for you, beautiful life lesson for you. I just have an embarrassing story about me crying on the ski hill. And that's all I have for today. But you know what? I started the year at such a low, vulnerable point. Man, like things better be looking up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Maybe I started my year releasing all of my weakness and fear and perhaps immaturity so that for the rest of the year, I could be a fucking baddie, okay? I could be a badass and handle things with grace and tact and maturity. Oh, now I'm remembering all the other times I've had a mental breakdown already this year, so I don't think that that worked out. Anyway... That's all I have for today.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Okay, that's it. If you wanted more from me, too bad. That's what you get today. Hey, you know what? I hope you all enjoyed this story. And if you did, tune into Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday, available anywhere you stream podcasts and available with video on Spotify and YouTube if you want to watch me talk. Follow Anything Goes on social media at Anything Goes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Follow me as a person on social media at Emma Chamberlain. Follow my company, Chamberlain Coffee, at Chamberlain Coffee. And find Chamberlain Coffee online at ChamberlainCoffee.com. And find Chamberlain Coffee in stores in Sprouts, Whole Foods, Target, and more. Okay, that's it. That's it. I'm going to go wash my yogurt bowl.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
The yogurt's been soaking for a little bit, so it's not going to be crispy. It's going to be great. I'm just going to rinse that thing out. Probably put it in the dishwasher. Actually, I'm not going to hand wash it. Why would I do that? That is what a dishwasher is for. I'll talk to you all later. I love you all. I appreciate you all and goodbye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Like, I grew up with some kids who had really rich dads that had vacation houses in Lake Tahoe, which is sort of a ski town during the winter. And so there were a lot of kids I knew that were incredible at skiing and snowboarding because, you know, every holiday weekend they were going up to ski and snowboard. But I didn't have that. My dad does not have a Lake Tahoe house.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And I didn't get invited to Lake Tahoe houses very often. So I just never tried it. And they do say that learning skiing and snowboarding gets harder the older that you get. So I was never really inclined to try it, but I've always been really jealous. Like I've always wanted to be good at it. I always thought it was such a cool thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Like the kids that could ski and snowboard, I was like, fuck, it's so cool that you can go to a little ski town and actually do something. I go to a little ski town and I have to hang out at the gift shop and drink hot chocolate. Like, that's fun. But it would be so fun to do that after skiing or after snowboarding. And I love this environment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
I love the ski town so much that I just wish I could participate. But alas, I never could. And so back to this New Year's trip, it was a trip to a ski town. And immediately when this plan came up, I said to myself, almost subconsciously, like, Hopefully there's other people who don't want to ski or snowboard.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And when I arrived and we all sort of discussed, you know, our experience with skiing and snowboarding, I was comforted to see that a bunch of people didn't want to ski or snowboard. And I was like, this is incredible. I'm just going to hang out with this part of the friend group and everybody else will go and ski and snowboard and it'll be great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
But then there were a few people who didn't know how to ski or snowboard who wanted to try skiing. Then I'm faced with a dilemma. Do I do what's comfortable, do what's safe and stay back with the people who have no interest in touching the snow at all? Or do I challenge myself and end 2024 off, start 2025 off doing something challenging?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
So I contemplated about it for a while and I sort of talked to the group and, you know, part of the group was like, no, like stay with us. We're going to hang out and we're going to watch TV and like chill and do face masks and be comfortable or whatever. And then the small part of the group that was going to, you know, take a skiing lesson was like, Come on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Like, we're going to take a skiing lesson. Like, you'll be safe with us. We're going to be on the bunny hill. It's going to be easy. It's going to be safe. It's going to be fun. And then the group who is experienced is like, it's going to be amazing. You're going to learn. And then you're going to be able to come with us. And I'm like, uh, and I could not decide, but I eventually decided, fuck it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
I'm a little nervous about my mobility. Am I going to be able to control my body with this stuff? And so my anxiety is starting to build. But, you know, I comfort myself with the idea like, hey, I'm not the only one who has no idea what's going on and we're going to take a lesson. So we're going to learn. And, you know, I see a bunch of kids around. There's kids in the ski shop.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
At 12.05 p.m., when I was eating my yogurt bowl, the memories came flooding back. And the second that they did, I knew what I had to do. So I finished my yogurt bowl, put it in the sink, put a little bit of water in it so that the yogurt didn't get crusty, walked over to my desk, turned on my camera, turned on my recording equipment, and sat down to tell you this story. And now here I am.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
I saw kids walking around in the morning just around town. I'm like, there's kids doing this. Like, Emma, you fucking got this. Like, it's all good. So we pack everything into the car. We go to the ski hill and we meet up with our instructor. And this instructor is just so sweet. Okay. He's just like a sweet dude. Right. He's like probably 50 sweet guy. Right. Like just not intimidating at all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Chill guy. I'm like, this is great. You know, the worst thing is when you have some sort of instructor and you're really new at something and the instructor is like hot. I'm not saying hot, like, oh, I'm interested. That's actually kind of incredible when an instructor is hot and you're single. But no, I just mean hot in general, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Not even necessarily somebody that I'm attracted to, but just somebody who's hot and cool. That is not ideal for learning. When I'm learning something, I want to not care about what this person is thinking of me. And this person was so that, okay? He's just like... he could be my uncle. He actually felt like, yeah, he felt like an uncle. And I was like, this is great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And for the first like 30 minutes of the lesson, we are doing stuff that to me makes no sense. We're like learning how to like jump while wearing the ski boots, which like I get, you know, it's like all like understanding mobility and like how to move and stuff. But I was impatient. I was like, oh my God, I feel like I'm not learning enough.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
how is this going to prepare me to like go up on the mountain? And meanwhile, while we're doing these like really odd minor movements, like jumping around with the ski boots on or like clicking in and out of the skis like 50 times to make sure that we know how to do it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
I'm watching experienced skiers and snowboarders go up on the ski lift and just absolutely be so far off the ground that if they fell, they would die. They would absolutely die immediately. And And if they survived, it would be a medical miracle. Okay. And I'm watching that and I'm watching people not even pull down the safety bar and just be sitting there willy nilly.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And I'm starting to feel a pit in my stomach, but I'm like, you know what? This lesson is going to prepare me to the point where I feel ready to go on the ski lift.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
So I keep the, you know, the attitude positive, but I start to get frustrated very quickly because as we're doing these like small minor little exercises, clicking the shoe in and out of the out of the ski and like, you know, balancing on one foot for like a minute to see if we could do it. I started to struggle with these minor little actions. And I was like, I'm fucked. I'm fucked.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
How am I supposed to ever get to a point today where I can even go down an adult mountain? You know, how am I going to get to that point if I can't do these little warmups? And so my attitude... starts to shift a little bit and I keep it together. I'm not like being an asshole completely, but like I get a little quiet. I'm like, I'm scared.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Everyone else in the group is seemingly feeling less nervous than me. Like they're excited about the ski lift. They're excited about all of it. They're not afraid. They're not as anxious as me, you know? So eventually we start going down bunny hills. Okay. And the first few times it was a catastrophe. Okay. The instructor's explaining, you know, how it works. Like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
In order to slow down, you want to put the top tips of the skis together and the back tips of the skis out in the shape of a triangle or a pizza or whatever. And that's how you control your speed. That's how you go slow. That was self-explanatory enough, but...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
The first handful of times that I went down, I needed him to be skiing backwards right in front of me to prevent me from like, I don't know, just like barreling down the bunny hill. It was just a mess. OK, it was a mess. And I kept slipping and like like kind of like almost falling. It was just not good. And I was clearly not a natural.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
to tell you this story. And can I be honest? You are going to judge me. Yep. You're going to judge me because this story is embarrassing. It's mortifying. It's traumatizing to me, but it's not traumatizing in a way that you're going to sympathize with. It's traumatizing in a way that you are going to judge. You are going to judge me for being traumatized by what happened.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Meanwhile, there's like seven year olds around me who are just so good. And I was like, all right, I don't know how this is going to go. And if something doesn't click for me soon, like I'm screwed. Meanwhile, some people in the group, you know, more rebellious members of the group who are taking the ski lesson are like, fuck this. I'm just going to go. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
So some people just leave the ski lesson and just start going up with the experienced skiers in our friend group and snowboarders. But a few of us stay back and continue. And I'm really the only one that's nervous.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And my anxiety only gets worse and worse because I'm not, like, learning at the pace that I feel like I need to to be able to meet up with the group to go down the mountain for real at some point that day, you know? So we practice, we go down the bunny hill again and again. And finally I start to get it. Like, I don't need the instructor to be there anymore. I'm actually like doing pretty well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And then, you know, he explains how to do turns and, you know, weaving back and forth. And that actually comes pretty easily to me. And I'm like, wait a minute. I think it clicked. I think I'm an incredible skier now. So I start to feel more confident and I start to get sort of excited. I'm like, all right, you know what? It's a little frightening. It's a little scary, but I can do this alone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
You know, like I don't need him anymore. It's OK. And so it was almost lunchtime and my whole friend group was like, hey, we should do one run all together down the mountain before lunch. And so I was like, you know what? Fuck yeah. Like, I think I'm ready. Let's do it. And the instructor was going to come with us. And so I was like, let's do this thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
So we get in line to get on the ski lift and I start having a panic attack. Absolute panic attack. Okay. and I'm shaking and I'm telling the instructor, I'm like, I don't think I can do it. He's like, you can totally do it. It's totally fine. And then I'm telling my friends, I'm like, you guys, and mind you, some of these friends I've only met like once, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
So it's not like these are people that I'm comfortable with having a panic attack in front of. These are people that do not know me like that. They don't need to see that. However, here I am starting to have a panic attack. And some members of the group are like, don't go. Just don't go. It's all good. And then some are like, come on, you've made it this far. You just got to do it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And I was like, fuck, you know what? I made it this far. I came out. I rented the skis. I did the whole thing. I need to go down the mountain just once. And the instructor reassured me like we're going down the easiest one. It's a little bit long. It's like a two mile run, which is a bit longer than normal. But, you know, it's going to be OK.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And I'm like, yeah, but I don't know how to go on the ski lift. Like, I don't I don't understand it. What if I fall? What if I trip? What if it pushes me over? He's like, you'll be totally fine. Like, you know, it moves slower than you think. You'll be able to get on safely. We'll bring down the bar. He's like reassuring me, reassuring me, reassuring me. And I'm starting to cry.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And I'm like, fuck Emma, you can't start crying. You just have to fucking go and prove to yourself that you do it. You can't cry. You're not, you're, there are seven year olds going on the ski lift, like laughing. Like you are a 23 year old woman crying. hold it fucking together. Okay. We need to hold it together. So I'm choking down my tears.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
I really just want to explode with tears and just start crying, but I'm holding it together, holding it together. And I'm like almost in shock as I'm like gliding over to the ski lift and getting in line to get on. And I get into position. I'm shaking. Okay. I literally, I'm so dissociated at this point. I literally don't, I feel like I'm dreaming. Like I'm
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
But I'm going to tell you the story anyway. Because the silver lining of unfortunate events in my life is that I get to talk about them on my podcast. And beyond that, this story might be embarrassing and mortifying, but it's human. And that's why I have to share it with you. I briefly paused this episode of Anything Goes to let you know that this episode of Anything Goes is presented by Amazon.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
crying and I hold onto the arm of my instructor. I felt so bad. Like this is, I didn't ask permission if I was allowed to like, but I was so frightened like a child that I start bawling. I grab his arm and I'm like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I I'm, I'm so scared. He's like, it's totally fine. It's totally fine. Everything's fine. I start sob, gushing, gushing tears. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
Meanwhile, two of the friends in the friend group are on the ski lift with me, one who was in the lesson with me and one other friend who's more experienced, we've hung out multiple times. Okay, we're totally friends, but they don't know me like that. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't cry in front of my best friends like that even. I've never cried like that in front of my best friends.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And now suddenly I am bawling. bawling, snot running down my face like a fucking seven year old. And I I'm kind of enjoying it, though, like I'm freaking out, OK, realizing how afraid I am of heights. You know, it's all coming to me. But I'm also kind of like, wow, this is beautiful. But I'm also like, I'm going to die. And this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
i had a public meltdown, storytime [video]
And I can't believe I have to go all the way down. And this is just a catastrophe. And I asked the instructor, I'm like, is this normal? You know, like, does this happen to everyone? He's like, don't worry about that. I'm like, fuck this. Like, I'm literally probably the first student he's ever had who's had a
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Hey there, and welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything you want advice on, and then I give you my very unprofessional advice, and then hopefully you take it with a grain of salt. And today's topic is a familiar one, the topic of relationships, dating, love, romance. This is a reoccurring topic here on Anything Goes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
But as I said earlier, if you want to be in a monogamous relationship, there's nothing wrong with that either. And I'm being more defensive of the monogamous sort of relationship because I think that that's the dating genre that's perhaps... I don't know. It's depending on the audience. It's more critiqued nowadays.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
You know, I would say wrongfully, like who cares what other people do sexually romantically. I'm getting kind of triggered by this topic. I'm like ranting. Okay. Anyway. So to wrap up this thought, there is nothing wrong with feeling uncomfortable by the thought of a threesome. There is nothing wrong with that. And I really hope that you don't let anyone convince you otherwise.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Now, the next part of this question, is it normal in a long term relationship for, say, a boyfriend to want a threesome? I would say it actually probably is somewhat normal, especially nowadays when threesomes and open relationships are much more common.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I think in a long-term relationship, it is definitely not abnormal for a boy to be like, oh, it'd be fun to spice things up and add another person into the bedroom. Like, I don't think there's anything particularly weird or even wrong about that. Right. I think it is definitely a common thing. And I think it's probably been a common thing for a long time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
But, you know, say 100 years ago, that was definitely taboo. You know, there were no threesomes happening in a socially acceptable way. I think now young people especially are like, If I have a sort of sexual desire, I'm just going to share it because we live in a very accepting time. And so I think it is normal. However, that doesn't mean that you have to be okay with it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
This is clearly bothering you, sticking with you, to the point where you're asking me, a random lady on the internet, what you should do, okay? That already tells me that this is not something that you're naturally comfortable with. This is not something that you have a really good feeling about, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Just because it's normal doesn't mean that it makes sense for you and your relationship. And the last part of this question was, am I not enough for him? Is that why he wants a threesome? I mean, I can't read your boyfriend's mind. And listen, I wish I could. Actually, I'm glad I can't read minds. That's not a superpower that I want. I like not knowing what people are thinking.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
It's kind of a relief. I think there are a few reasons why your boyfriend might want a threesome, okay? Potential reason number one, because... Maybe his friends are having threesomes and he heard, you know, from from his friends or maybe even from people on the Internet that threesomes are really fun and really hot and it's a vibe and everyone should try it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Like maybe it got recommended to him in some way. That's a potential option number two.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Maybe he's feeling a bit understimulated by your guys' sex life, not because you're not incredible or not because he doesn't love you, but maybe he's somebody who watches a lot of dynamic porn and he's maybe feeling like there's not enough spice and maybe he thinks bringing another person in would spice things up. That doesn't mean... You're not awesome.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
It might just be his own personal journey, like sexually. Maybe he's like, who knows? Like maybe he just needs a lot of stimulation. Again, is that right? Does that make it fair to you if it's not something that you want to do? No, I'm proposing these potential scenarios with no bias towards him or against him, okay? These are completely neutral.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I'm just stating what it could possibly be, like what his reason could be. A third option could be that... Maybe he is feeling a bit bored of the relationship. Maybe he is kind of getting a bit of cold feet. This is possible. And maybe he thinks, okay, I could save this relationship by bringing someone else in. That's also a possibility. But it doesn't really matter why he wants to do this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
What matters right now is that you don't. You don't want to do it, okay? Now, to answer your question, am I not enough for him? It doesn't matter if he's getting bored of the relationship or if he just watches crazy porn and wants to live it in real life. It doesn't matter what extreme he's on. You are enough as a person. I won't have any of this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Him wanting to have a threesome has nothing to do with the value that you bring as a human being. You are incredible. You are enough. And there are many people on this planet that would love to be with you and wouldn't be asking you for a threesome, right? Like, this comes down to his sexual desires as an individual, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
If this was something that you were naturally inclined to do, if it felt organic and authentic to your personality, it would have never made it to the Anything Goes Instagram account, I can guarantee that. Actually, I can't guarantee anything. I am not God, but I can reasonably guess that this is not sitting right with you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
And the other thing is, I think most young men would love to have a threesome. But I think a lot of guys are just too scared to ask. Like, I think most guys... Are you kidding me? Of course. Do you know what I mean? Like, I bet every guy I've ever dated has wanted to have a threesome while they were with me. But they all knew that I prefer monogamous relationships.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
And so they never even asked because they already knew the answer would be no. Right? Like... I think most guys would love to have a threesome. So no, I don't think it has anything to do with you. I think your boyfriend just might be like, well, she's chill. Maybe she'll want to try, you know? Who cares about if you're enough for him? You're enough in general, okay? You're enough.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Who cares about... No, don't let him and his desire for a threesome rattle your self-esteem. You're awesome. You know that. And don't let him get in the way of that by asking for a threesome, okay? So with all that being said, what are you to do now? Okay. Your boyfriend wants to have a threesome and you don't. All right. Time to sit him down. Time to sit him down and say, listen, I love you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I want to be with you. But number one, I really don't want to have a threesome. That's just not going to work for me. I just don't like the thought of it. It makes me uncomfortable. and it's not going to happen. Number two, you asking for a threesome has made me a bit insecure because I don't understand why you feel that you need that. We have sex all the time. We're dating.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I get that it might get a bit routine because we've been together for a long time, but what are you not getting from me that you want to get from a third person? And through this conversation, hopefully you can come to a beautiful conclusion. Perhaps your boyfriend will say, okay, no problem, babe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
We won't have a threesome and maybe we'll just try something else like little sexy outfits, you know, like fuck it. Maybe you guys just need to spice it up in a different way. That's totally normal to get into a sort of routine, like a sex routine in a relationship where you just kind of hit the same beats every single time. That's totally normal. And that does get somewhat boring at times.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
In a long-term relationship, you got to put the work in to keep things interesting. And that's totally normal. And so maybe this is just... a sign that you guys need to... I don't know. Maybe you need to dress your boyfriend up in a little doctor outfit where he has assless chaps. Maybe that will really fix everything.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
And then you can dress up in a little nurse outfit and you guys can do medical role play. I swear, this will change everything. This will fix everything. No, but you get what I'm saying. Have sex in your kitchen or something. That... Honestly, I don't know that that would be fun. But figure out how to spice it up in a way that makes you both feel comfortable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by eBay. We all have that piece. You know the one. The thing that's so you, you've basically become known for it. And if you don't have yours yet, you'll find it on eBay. Let me put you on, people. eBay is where you'll find those one-of-a-kind, can't-stop-researching, stay-up-dreaming-about pieces again and again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I'm talking about that Miu Miu off-the-runway red leather bomber, that Cousteau Barcelona top with the cowboy on it, or that fleece in the 2017 colorway. All of these finds are on eBay. They even offer millions of main character pieces backed by authenticity guarantee. eBay is the place for pre-loved in vintage fashion. eBay, things people love. Now let's get back to the episode.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
All right, moving on. Somebody said, my boyfriend has gone out three weekends in a row until 5 a.m. with zero communication and it makes me feel so sad. What do I do? Okay, yeah, you feel sad. Of course you feel sad. That sucks. That is not fun in a relationship, okay? So your feelings of sadness are 1,000% valid. It's... It's wild what we allow people to do when we love them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Now, before we go any further, let me tell you my take on open relationships, okay? I have to start by saying that open relationships don't work for me. And I'm saying that without ever being in one because I know myself enough to know that that is not a romantic structure that would work for me, okay? I know that for me personally, romance, intimacy, connection at that level is far too...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Like, when I look back at past relationships, I'm dumbfounded at the shit that I allowed. Dumbfounded. I can't believe it. But it's because I loved them or I thought I did. And it depends on the relationship. But I loved them or I thought I did. And... I made excuses for them so that they could do whatever they want and be happy, leaving me in the fucking dust, okay? This sucks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
And to be honest, like some people might think this is extreme, but to me, this is grounds for breaking up. Like I, if my boyfriend, like if I were in a relationship right now, who I am today, okay? If I were in a relationship right now and all of a sudden my boyfriend started going out until 5 a.m. every weekend with no communication, I would break up with him immediately.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
That's what I would do, okay? That is a complete deal breaker for me. However, my advice is not to immediately break up because I don't know what's happening, right? So I can't in good faith tell you to just break up with your boyfriend, right? However, he's not, I don't like the sound of him right now, okay? He sounds like a really bad fucking boyfriend. You need to have a conversation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
You need to sit him down in the fucking daylight. Sorry, I keep saying the F word. I need to stop cussing. You need to sit him down in the daylight. and say, what's going on? I feel completely neglected every single weekend. You're going out until 5 a.m. You're not talking to me. And the weekends are the world's day off. We're all not working. I want to hang out with you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I want to spend time with you. It's the weekend. It's time to celebrate and have fun. And you're going out until 5 a.m. and completely neglecting me. This is not my idea or really anyone's idea. of a fun, healthy relationship, okay? A fun, healthy relationship would consist of spending time together on the weekends. But if not spending time together, communicating on our separate ways, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
It's just not fair. It's anxiety-inducing. And it feels like shit. It feels shitty. It sucks. And I mean, unless your boyfriend gives some sort of miraculous excuse, I don't even know what he could say, to be honest. I don't know what he could say that could make this forgivable. Like, I hate this shit. I hate it. I don't know what he could say.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I think the only thing he could say that could possibly make it forgivable would be if he just got super vulnerable and he was like, listen, I'm going to be honest with you. All of my friends are single. I'm the only one in a relationship. And recently I've been feeling really excluded in my friend group. I just don't feel like I can connect with them because... They all are single.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I'm in a relationship. And I really just want to make sure I maintain that friendship with those friends. And so, you know, I kind of have to meet them on their level. And they're going out every weekend. And, you know, like, I want to spend time with them. And this is the sort of activity that they do. So... here I am hanging out with them, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
But I, and then if he also followed that up with, I didn't know you were feeling this way. If I knew that I would have not done it. How can I, what do you want me to do to make you feel more comfortable? You know, how can we find a happy medium? If he says that literally verbatim, okay, maybe we'll consider forgiving him. But really, any other response won't do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Like if he's like, babe, like, I just want to go out with my fucking friends. Like, what's wrong with that? Like, why are you being clingy? Break up, break up, break up. If he's like, I'm like going to bed. Like, I just like went to bed. Break up, break up. Any sort of defensiveness, any sort of lying, break up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
But if he gets really vulnerable and it has to do with his friends or something, and he's like trying to like balance having you as a girlfriend, but also have, you know, maintain these friendships with his friends. I get that that can be tough sometimes. And sometimes you have to sort of, I don't know, like you have to go out until 5am sometimes to hang out with certain friends.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
So like, I get it, but he also needs to make sure that you feel comfortable with this. either by communicating better or by inviting you, perhaps. I don't know. But the other thing is, like, this is suspicious behavior anyway. Like, I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, like, innocent until proven guilty, until he admits to doing something wrong or you find something, like, in his... I don't know, like, if a text pops up on his phone when it's charging and he's not in the room and you look over and it's from a girl saying, what are you doing tonight, baby? Like, yeah, okay, then... we have grounds to be suspicious.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I try to not, again, like innocent until proven guilty, but this is definitely suspicious behavior. So you can also say that, like, to be honest, I think you're cheating on me or I think you're trying to find somebody to cheat on me with. Like, this just feels suspicious. You can say that as well. Either way, you need to have a conversation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Whether or not you want to confront him on the potential cheating, I don't think that's as mandatory. I think his answer, there's a really strong chance that his answer is going to be so bad that you'll discover that you should probably break up even before you find out whether or not he's cheating. Just because that's not boyfriend material. Boyfriends should be treating you like you're precious.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
fragile for me to allow another person into that equation. I know that dating and romance and all these things are so sacred to me that involving somebody else would completely destroy the relationship for me psychologically. And it would destroy me psychologically.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Like... you're valuable, like you're a priority in their lives. And if they're going out three weekends in a row at 5 a.m., they don't... That's not the way that they're acting. And I can promise you that there are guys out there that would make you feel like a priority. It does exist. You don't think it does until you experience it. And then you're like, oh... Whoa. This is possible?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
It is possible. So you don't need to put up with this anymore. But give him a little chance. Communicate. And then unless he has a miracle explanation, break up. That's my opinion. Okay, moving on. Next. Somebody said, I've been dealing with a lot of relationship anxiety and I'm worried that he will leave. Help. In my life thus far...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Every time that I've had relationship anxiety and it's been impossible to shake, it's been valid. It's been valid. Listen, I had a few years of trust issues because, I don't know, I just, like, I had some sort of, I had a few experiences in my life early on with dating that kind of fucked with my head and gave me a bit of trust issues. And those stuck around for a few years.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
But I actually, it's interesting because, One of the relationships I was in, I had horrible trust issues and relationship anxiety the entire relationship. And I blamed it on my first relationship. I blamed it on the residue from that first relationship. I was like, you know, like, this guy is so sweet to me. He's actually really good to me. Like, I don't think I have anything to worry about.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
But I still, for some reason, had a horrible relationship anxiety. And so I blamed it on the trust issues. Now, years later, looking back at that relationship, I realize, wait a minute, that wasn't residual trust issues from that first relationship. I genuinely had grounds to have trust issues and to have relationship anxiety because that particular person that I dated was incredibly avoided.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
They never showed any signs of cheating or anything like that. But they were avoidant, you know, and they weren't 100% vulnerable with me and they weren't 100% present with me. And they were always kind of, it always kind of felt like they had one foot in and one foot out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
But it was tricky because they were also, you know, really kind a lot of the times and really could even be really thoughtful at times, but also had one foot in, one foot out. I could feel, I felt like an instability, you know, And I convinced myself that it was the trust issues giving me that relationship anxiety.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
But in retrospect, I realized, no, this person didn't make me feel safe in the relationship because they weren't vulnerable enough. They weren't open enough. They weren't comfortable enough with themselves to to even be in a relationship. So they were really sort of sparse with communication. It was a mess.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
It would destroy the relationship in my brain psychologically, but it would also on a personal level outside of the relationship destroy me psychologically. It would destroy the relationship because I wouldn't feel like the bond that I have with that person would be ours anymore. And that's something I don't think I could handle. You know, I think what makes...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
And so, again, you can get relationship anxiety in a relationship with somebody who isn't doing anything wrong, but is not in a place in their lives that they can be fully present in a relationship. And that feeling of somebody not being present can give you relationship anxiety for no reason, for seemingly no reason. But it's because they're not 100% committed. They don't make you feel safe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
They don't make you feel like they deeply love you and they'd be there for you, you know, through thick and thin. You don't feel that stability. And I can guarantee you, you can find that stability. So there's a really good chance that the reason why you're having relationship anxiety is because the person that you're dating is not emotionally ready to be in a relationship.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
And they're either severely avoidant, which means like, let's look up the definition of avoidant. Avoidant attachment is an insecure attachment style where individuals feel uncomfortable with emotional intimacy and prioritize independence. It can develop in childhood due to a lack of consistent or sensitive responses to a child's needs from caregivers.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
This leads to difficulties forming close relationships and trusting others as adults. There's a chance that you're constantly dealing with your partner sort of pulling away and it doesn't really make any sense to you because they love you and they want to be with you. But then they're also simultaneously sort of pulling away. But yet they're not like breaking up with you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
It's this confusing sort of thing. I've experienced this. There's a good chance that that's what you're experiencing. And so I think discovering the root of this relationship anxiety is. is the first step. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Is it what I'm describing that your partner sort of avoidant, even though they're not cheating or they're not like, you know, that they're not doing anything wrong, but something still feels kind of off and it always has. That's probably what it is. You also might be dealing with relationship anxiety because you think that your partner isn't being loyal to you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Perhaps they're cheating on you or even just emotionally cheating on you. Like who knows? You might be feeling that. You might have a gut feeling about that because maybe you noticed him sort of flirting with somebody at a party. And when you confronted him on it, he was like, no, no, no, no, no. What? No, that's my friend. Like, don't doubt your relationship anxiety.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
OK, there are occasions when we create relationship anxiety ourselves because we have trust issues or because we're anxiously attached. We have an anxious attachment style and we just irrationally think that, you know, our partner is going to leave or whatever. But I think more often than not, we don't trust our gut in relationships.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
We convince ourselves that it's something else because we don't want trauma. You know, we don't want confrontation. We don't want potentially a breakup. So we'd rather blame ourselves than... really look deep into the relationship and figure out what the problem is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
So I really strongly encourage you to analyze your relationship, analyze yourself, and figure out the source of this relationship anxiety because until you do that, you can't solve it. You can't resolve it. you might discover that it's just rooted in you and you have trust issues from the past or you're anxiously attached.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
And so, you know, you're being a bit irrational and then you can go from there. Or you might discover that your significant other's behavior is leading you to this feeling. Then you need to have a conversation with your partner about how to resolve this issue because this is definitely an issue.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Somebody said, I love my boyfriend so much, but recently he feels uninterested and like he's pulling away. I'm scared. What do I do? Immediate confrontation. Confrontation immediately. Sit that boy down and say, what's going on? You're pulling away. I feel it. What's going on? I can't tell you how many fucking months of my life I've wasted.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Part of what makes a romantic monogamous relationship so special is that it's a relationship between me and one other person that is unlike any other relationship I have with anyone else on the planet at that given moment. You know, it's somebody who I'm in some ways trialing to be... potentially like the father of my children. Like it's a serious thing to me. It's incredibly deep and vulnerable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
in this sort of purgatory where I'm like, I feel like my boyfriend's pulling away, but he hasn't said anything yet. Like he's not like trying to break up with me or anything, but also like, wait, did he just follow a girl on Instagram? That's like kind of hot. And like, wait, what's happening? Like I've been there. I've been there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
And if I could go back in time... Actually, I'm not going to say it like that. If I were to be put in that situation now, feeling, you know, suspicious that my boyfriend's pulling away and starting to see certain signs, you know, instead of making excuses, if I were to be in that situation now, I would confront immediately. Immediately upon feeling anything. If I felt the tiniest...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
bit of pulling away, I'd confront immediately. That's what I would do next time. Because I can't tell you the months and months and months of my life I have wasted trying to read between the lines, trying to figure out if a boyfriend has wanted to break up with me, you know, starting to investigate, doing my own investigating and driving myself nuts. It's some of the worst months of my life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Like when I look back at those months, it was miserable. It was so miserable. Please, for me, save yourself the grief. Have the conversation. You're going to have to have it anyway. Sit him down. I'm passionate about this one because I have experienced this and it was just so brutal. And I waited too long to have the conversation and I tortured myself. Sit him down and ask him what's going on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
And listen, there's a chance that He's gonna be too scared at first. He's not gonna wanna tell you the truth. You need to get an answer, okay? You need some sort of answer. His answer might be, no, I'm not pulling away from you. I'm just struggling with work. Okay, at least that's an answer. You need an answer. Don't let them say, no, nothing's wrong. What are you talking about?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
That's gaslighting. Not that we should be abusing the word gaslighting because everybody's abusing it these days, but it is kind of gaslighting. If you feel like something's off, then something's off. And it is absolutely your right to get to the bottom of it. And so you need to ask and you need to figure it out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
And a suggestion that I have for this conversation is to open the door for your partner to leave. When I was in this situation and I felt a boyfriend pulling away, multiple times I confronted this boyfriend and said, hey, I feel you pulling away. Why don't you just fully pull away and why don't we break up? Like, why are we together, you know? Like, I don't feel like you're into this anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Why are we still doing this? And, you know, the response was always like, because I don't want to break up. Like, I want to be together. I still like love you or whatever. And listen, we eventually broke up. Spoiler alert. It's like when things start falling apart, I think the best thing that you can do is give your partner an invitation to leave if they want to.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Now, if they choose time and time and time and time again to stay and together you work through the issue and ultimately come out the other side stronger, great. But I think... I don't know. I just, I always, I think it's really helpful to go into the conversation saying, listen, I don't want you to feel trapped with me. I don't want you to be afraid to break up with me. I can handle it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I'm a big kid. All right. If you want to break up with me, Stop like, stop dragging me along. You know, it's upsetting to be in this relationship and for me to be putting in a hundred percent effort and you to be putting in 40 because you're clearly not into this anymore or something's wrong, you know? So put me out of my misery. Let me go because I don't like being in this and feeling confused.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I think that's a really helpful tactic when having these conversations is to say to your partner, listen, I can handle it. I can handle it. It's not going to be fun, but if you're over it, let's end it so that we can both begin the healing process sooner rather than later. And last but not least, somebody said, I'm dating someone and I'm really happy with him.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
He's an amazing guy who treats me great and I see a future with him. I don't want to mess it up, but I find myself having dreams of another male friend of mine and it makes me feel guilty. I don't know why these dreams keep happening. What should I do about it? Now when I'm around this friend, I feel uncomfortable. I don't know how to move past this issue. I love my boyfriend. Please help.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Is it normal to have intimate dreams about other people while in a happy relationship? I feel like a bad person. We're human, okay? And listen, when in a monogamous relationship, we should strive to be as monogamous as possible, right? But we can't fight our human tendencies. We can't control our thoughts completely, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
And if another person was involved in it in some way romantically, it would break that bond, at least in my mind, okay? It just would ruin it for me. And if that was something that my partner needed in a relationship, I wouldn't be able to do it. But I also think that being in an open relationship would ruin me as an individual psychologically.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
We can control how we respond to our thoughts and our feelings, but we often can't control our thoughts and our feelings. Those things just sort of happen, right? And so you are not a bad person for having sexual dreams about this male friend. You are not a bad person. You can't control those dreams. I can tell that if it was up to you, you wouldn't have those dreams.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
You are not a bad person for having those dreams. And beyond that, you're not a bad person for being in a monogamous relationship and thinking someone's hot. It's totally fine to think that. It's normal. Like... What? You know, you get into a monogamous relationship and magically you never think of another person romantically ever again? Of course not. It's impossible.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
The reason that you were able to get into the relationship that you're in right now is because you have those romantic desires. Those are innate human desires. Those don't just magically go away once you find a partner. Those are permanent. So like... you feeling attracted to somebody else, you having romantic dreams about somebody else, it's not a sign that you're a bad person.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
It's not a sign that your relationship needs to end. It's not a sign that, no, this is just normal. And it's a slight rough patch in what will hopefully be a long and healthy relationship for you both. This is gonna happen to both of you at some point in this relationship.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I can almost guarantee that at some point, your boyfriend is gonna, I don't know, develop a little crush on somebody and feel really guilty about the way that they feel about that crush. It's so normal. I've had conversations with certain boyfriends about like people that we find attractive that aren't each other. Like it's okay. It's normal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I don't think it necessarily works for everybody to have an open conversation about that. Not everyone feels comfortable with that. Some people would rather not know because if they knew, then it would fuck with their head or whatever. Um, I personally, when I'm in a really safe, comfortable relationship, I don't mind.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Like if we both, if we like have a crush on somebody or something and it's like kind of a joke, like that doesn't really bother me actually, because I know that it's normal. Like I've fully had conversations around that before in romantic relationships. Like You know, I've had a conversation like, who's the last person you thought was hot that wasn't me?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Like, I've had that conversation in a relationship and it was totally fine. Because in that moment, we both knew that we wanted to be together and that no crush would get in the way of it. Like, we were both confident enough in the relationship that that actually didn't... rattle us at all. It's a completely normal thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
And I think, listen, if you can be open and transparent about it with your partner in a way that makes sense, great. If not, just let the thoughts come and pass, right? If you have a sexual thought about this male friend of yours that's not your boyfriend, let the thought come into your head and then let it go away. Don't let it cause you stress and anxiety. Just let it come and pass.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
It doesn't need to be a big deal. It's so normal. It's so human nature. And I can almost guarantee that once you realize that it's okay, that you're not a bad person, that you're not doing anything wrong, that it's not your fault, and you get into the habit of letting those thoughts, those romantic thoughts come and pass, sort of smoothly, you'll actually just stop having the thoughts altogether.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
But to make it a bit spicier, today we're going to be discussing distrust in love, jealousy, trust issues, the not so fun stuff. And so without further ado, I say we should just begin. I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Dove's new plant milk cleansing collection.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I think you're almost obsessing over it because you feel bad about it and you feel like you're doing something wrong. So it's making you think about it even more. If you let it go and you're like, nah, this isn't a big deal. This is just normal and it'll pass. And I know I love my boyfriend and I want to be with him. And This is just a normal part of a long-term relationship.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Every once in a while, you start feeling kind of weird about somebody else and then you're like, oh shit, is this bad? Like it's normal. And I think once you realize that, it won't feel as scary when you have those thoughts and then eventually they just won't happen anymore because you'll forget.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
You being concerned about it is making you think about it more, which is then making the dreams happen more often, making the thoughts happen more often. It's totally fine and normal. Do not worry. That's it. That's it for today's advice session. I hope that you all enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. I had a load of fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
If you want to hang out with me some more, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday, stream anywhere, watch on YouTube and Spotify. If you want to find Anything Goes on social media, at Anything Goes. If you want to find me anywhere, I'm Emma Chamberlain. And if you want to find my coffee company, it's Chamberlain Coffee. I love you all. I appreciate you all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I think, again, in a monogamous relationship, somebody else and you, but somebody else is sacrificing their ability to be with other people to choose you, right? And that sacrifice means a lot to me. You know, like when somebody chooses to be with me in a monogamous relationship, that means a lot to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
It's always a pleasure to get to hang out. And luckily for both of us, we get to do it twice a week. So I'll talk to you in a few days. Yay! I love you all. I appreciate you all. And I'll talk to you very, very soon. Bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
And I think, you know, if my partner was dead set on being in an open relationship, I think it would fuck with me because I have the capacity to be in a monogamous relationship. That's what I want. And I can be totally satisfied with just one person, you know? And so I think it would fuck with my self-esteem, which is not necessarily... a good thing, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Ideally, our self-esteem is not coming from our partners, but rather it's coming from our, you know, who we are as individuals and our work ethic and, you know, what type of people we are. Ideally, you know, if we're good people, then, you know, that boosts our self-esteem. It should come from ourselves rather than from others.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
But I do know myself and I do think if my partner, you know, wanted to go sleep with somebody else that night, and didn't choose me, I think that would fuck with my self-esteem. I'm being realistic. I know myself and I think that would bother me. I think I would get jealous.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
And I think, I don't know, I think just in general, the turbulence of having my partner be with people that are not me, I think that that sitting in the back of my head at all times would... really be challenging for me and would cause overall emotional instability. So that is a long explanation as to why I personally don't choose to be in open relationships.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
But I wanted to give you that background before I kept going because, you know, I obviously have bias, right? It's not something that works for me. It's not something I've ever even tried or considered because I just know it wouldn't work for me. However, I do have some friends that either are in open relationships or have experimented with open relationships.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Like I know people who have experienced this and I've heard mixed reviews. Okay. Some people love it. Some people think it's great. You know, it sometimes comes with a bit of tension and drama because I think naturally when you involve another person, you know, it can, it can cause a bit of drama, right? But there are some people that I know who are like, but ultimately it's worth it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
And then I know other people who have tried it and been like, no, not for me. So I really do think it comes down to who you are as an individual and what you're looking for in a relationship, right? Like, There are some people who I genuinely believe are wired for open relationships. I've seen it. I've talked to people who feel that way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
And it's hard for me to comprehend because I'm so the opposite and I'm so monogamous and that's so what I like. But it does exist. People do love it. People do find... value in it. And I think it depends on you. I also think that there's occasions. Now, this is not me trying to ruin the reputation of those who want to be in an open relationship because I don't think that this is always the case.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I think some people genuinely are wired to just really love open relationships. And it works for them and they love it. And, you know, if they can find somebody else who loves it, it's a happy, happy ever after kind of story, right? But I think there are some people who are afraid of commitment and they want to sort of be able to have their cake and eat it too, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
In some ways, they want a traditional sort of monogamous relationship. But on the other hand, they're like, but I don't think I'm ready yet. So I'd rather just... ask my partner if we can be open so that I can basically, like, I don't have to feel boxed in or fully committed. Now, that's totally fine if the other person is cool with it, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
But I'm very protective of people who are like me, who do not... like open relationships, because I do feel like sometimes, especially in like Gen Z, there can be sort of a stigma around people who are in monogamous long-term relationships where it's like, I don't know, maybe it's considered vanilla. At times, it's like vanilla. It's, you know, super traditional. It's not modern.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
It's maybe even closed-minded. Some people believe it's closed-minded to not be open. There's much more of a discourse around it today in my generation than there probably ever has been before. You know, I think the conversation is getting louder every... And that's great. However, I'm protective of people like me who don't like it, who aren't wired for it because...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
In the same way that it works for some people, it doesn't work for other people. And if it doesn't work for you, you're not vanilla. You're not close-minded. It just doesn't work for you. So let's go back to the question that was asked, okay? The guy I'm in love with wants an open relationship, but I don't know if I'll be too jealous. What do I do?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
What you need to figure out is if this is something that you're willing to try. Okay, it's clear to me that you're not loving the idea of it so far. Again, it made its way to me. So you're definitely deeply questioning it. And you're thinking about it a lot, which means the answer is not obvious.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
But if it's not an obvious no to you, then that means that there is still a little chance that it's something that you'd be willing to potentially try. So I think the next thing you need to figure out is, are you willing to try it? Are you... willing to potentially risk some level of psychological discomfort to experiment with this with your partner.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
And I say risk potential psychological discomfort because for me, somebody who does not like open relationships, if I were to be so in love with somebody that I said, you know what, it's totally fine. I'll try it. We And then a week later, my partner is like having sex with somebody else and not responding to my calls. I would be upset. I would just be upset. That would be upsetting to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Not because I'm territorial. Not because I'm... clingy, not because I'm overly jealous or my self-esteem is low, because I am not wired for non-monogamous relationships. So that would upset me. So you need to ask yourself that. Are you okay with the potential emotional discomfort that might come with this? Now, if the answer is yes, then Give it a try. And then listen, you might end up loving it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Turn your next shower into the little treat your skin deserves. Head to Target to buy Dove's Plant Milk Collection Body Wash before it sells out. Now, back to the episode. All right, starting with number one. Somebody said, the guy I'm in love with wants an open relationship, but I don't know if I'll be too jealous. What do I do? All right, let's break it down, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
It might end up really working for you. You might end up having like a great sort of communication with your partner that allows this to be possible. You might be really open with each other. This might end up being a beautiful thing. It also might end up being a catastrophe and you're heartbroken and it's sad and you break up and it's a catastrophe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
You won't know until you try how you're going to feel about it, right? So giving it a try might be the answer for you. But it's also okay to be like, I actually can't, you know, responsibly agree to this with my partner because I know that it will be the ultimate demise of this relationship. And
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
You know, really be a setback for me personally, because I'm going to find myself in an emotionally turbulent sort of place. Right. Anytime you put yourself into a situation that is harmful, you know, you're setting yourself back in a way it's. that's not necessarily a bad thing at all, but it's something to consider, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Like it's similar to like when you're going through a breakup and your ex texts you and you're like, fuck, I know I can't go back to this ex because we have a toxic relationship. You know, they're really avoidant. And every time I'm with them, you know, my self-esteem dips dramatically. And We just have a really toxic relationship.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Like I shouldn't respond, but you're uncomfortable going through this breakup. And so you're basically choosing what pain hurts less. Like, would you rather mourn the loss of the relationship, continue to mourn the loss of the relationship, but hopefully be in a stronger, better place soon? Yeah. better off without this person?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Or would you rather get sort of a boost of excitement by responding to your ex and opening that door again, but long-term putting yourself into a position where you're hurting yourself in a way and you're going to be held back by that decision? Because anytime you make a decision that's sort of a regression in some way, you know, there's a price to pay for that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Now, does that price teach you something? Absolutely. But there's a price to pay. And in this scenario, it's like, If you know that this is going to hurt you, but because you love him so much, you're like, fuck it, I'll just do this. I'll have an open relationship. You're regressing. You're going backwards. You're putting yourself into harm's way. And you will pay a price for that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Now, only you can make this decision. Only you can. So I can't tell you what to do because I'm not in your brain. But I think you really need to heavily consider how this is going to end. Think of it all the way through to the end. And I would say make the decision that ends the best.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I know it's potentially sad and scary to say to the man that you love, I don't want to be in an open relationship, even though that's what you want and you've said that you possibly even need. I don't think I can do that for you, but I really want to be with you because you're the love of my life. How do we figure this out? That's a scary conversation to have.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
But I would say it's even scarier to lie to your partner and say, yes, this totally works. Let's do it. I want to be in an open relationship when you actually don't. And then to end up breaking up anyway in probably a far more messy way and then be in a worse place than you needed to be in. I wish you luck on this journey. It's so tough.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
It's so tough when you love someone so deeply, but there is a fundamental difference in opinions. It's like Romeo and Juliet in a way, you know, where it's like we want to be together so bad, but we kind of can't. It really is like that. It sucks. So I wish you luck and I send you both my love. Okay, moving on. Somebody said, my boyfriend wants a threesome and I'm uncomfortable with the thought.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Your boyfriend wants an open relationship and you are clearly hesitant. I say that you're clearly hesitant because you're thinking about it to the point where you're asking me what you should do. Like, you know, a lot of decisions in life require an hour or two of thought.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
Is this normal in long-term relationships? Am I not enough for him? We already touched on a lot of this before, but this is a slightly different question. So to start, your boyfriend wants a threesome and you're not comfortable with the thought. That is 1,000% valid. Do not for a second even doubt the validity of that feeling, okay? It's all fun and games when two people are down for a threesome.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
It's great. Everything works smoothly, sometimes, usually. Like, what a beautiful thing. However, it can get really messy really quick when one person wants a threesome and the other person doesn't, right? And again, like I mentioned earlier, I feel like there's this discourse in Gen Z nowadays that's, I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
distrust in love, advice session
I think being in a long-term monogamous relationship can be considered vanilla, traditional, boring, old-fashioned, whatever, depending on the audience. And I hate that. Like, I really hate that. If you want to be open, if you want to have a threesome in your relationship, that's amazing. Go fucking do that. If that feels comfortable for you, go do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
In front of me today, I have a document. A document that contains two lists. To be more specific, two lists of New Year's resolutions. One from 2023 and one from 2024. I have my last two years of New Year's resolutions in front of me today, and I'm going to react to them with you. Did I accomplish my New Year's resolutions? Did I fail miserably? Did I fall somewhere in between?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
And just recently I had the epiphany like, oh my God, what am I doing? I'm wasting my money, but also I'm creating clutter in my life. This is a nightmare. This is stupid and ridiculous. You know, I don't need to wear a different outfit every day. I don't need to be wearing a different outfit every time I post on Instagram. What the fuck?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
type of unsustainable, delusional perspective have I been existing in. This is honestly embarrassing, but also understandable because of my career and also, you know, the world that we live in today, but like, holy shit, I can't do this anymore. And I have changed my perspective completely.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Even for the hardest working person who is the most wrapped up in the daily minutia of their life and work has to stop on new years and say, okay, we're opening a new page of our book. This is a new chapter. And there's something about that that can help even the most rigorously busy person reset and stop for a second and think about what changes should be made in their lives.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
And I, I mean, I've always been good about not spending my money on dumb stuff, you know, for the most part, I think clothes being the exception. I've, I definitely am not an irresponsible spender. You know, I would not say that. I, if you ask anyone in my life, um, including my fucking accountant or the person who helps me with my taxes or whatever. Like, I am not an irresponsible spender.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
However, I definitely used to have a shopping addiction. I wasn't spending money on a lot of expensive things, but like just a lot of things. That meant going to the thrift store, going to the flea market and buying fucking a bazillion things. You know what I mean? Like going on Amazon and ordering a bunch of gadgets. You know what I'm saying? That... was the shopping addiction.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
It wasn't an expensive addiction, but it was an addiction to the action. And then I just gathered too many things. So more recently, I have become more thoughtful about how I spend my money. So I've finally done that. Wow. I'm like kind of slaying on my 2023 resolutions, I will say none of those things came true in 2023. But now in 2024, they have come true. So that's kind of awesome.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Next, number six, I said, make more time slash prioritize projects that excite me. I did not do that. And I have not done that. I have been actually quite bad at that. For many years, I tend to get obsessive when it comes to my work. And I will obsess about every single detail to the point where it leaves no time to do projects that are just fun for me. You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Like there's certain projects that I work on in my career that are lucrative. They're profitable, if you will. I make money from them and I tend to be so obsessive about making sure that those things are perfect that then I don't have time to work on any projects that are like just for me, just for my soul, you know? So I've not done that and I need to work on that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Next, and number seven, I said, spend more time being grateful for the present moment rather than stressing about the future. I think I could still be better about that. I think I've probably improved on it just through mindfulness and planting the seed. Like, I don't think there's any sort of recipe for that. But I also think I could still improve on that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Last but not least, I said, stop getting overly attached to people I love out of fear of losing them because I have such an unusual life. Try to find peace, confidence, and fulfillment within myself instead. I mean, I think this is going to be a challenge for me for the remainder of my life. However, I do think that I'm slowly but surely becoming more self-reliant.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
And, you know, it's interesting because I think in retrospect, I think a way that I improved this was by building relationships with people who actually reciprocate my love and attention and appreciation. In 2023, there were people in my life that did not reciprocate my love for them, did not reciprocate my attention to them, did not reciprocate my availability to them, did not reciprocate.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
And I put up with that. And I think, you know, it psychologically was challenging for me. even more so than it would normally be because I do have such an unusual sort of circumstance in my life where I have an unusual career, and it is maybe a bit harder in some ways for me to make friends sometimes. It's also easier in some ways, but it's also harder in other ways.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Because of how I'm perceived, because I'm in the public eye, it's very complicated. And that's a challenge anyway. But what I didn't realize was it wasn't that I needed to find more peace, confidence and fulfillment within myself, but rather I needed to be choosing the right people. I needed to have the right friends, be dating the right people. You know what I'm saying? Like that's...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
That is how you let go, is when you are with somebody, when you surround yourself with people that you genuinely trust. Those people then not only make you feel safe so that you don't feel unhealthily attached, But also, they believe in you and they show you your own value and strengths and they empower you to find peace, confidence, and fulfillment within yourself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
They don't take that away from you. Whereas people who... are half in, half out of your life. They're not fully committed to you. They're not reciprocating your energy. Those people do not help you find peace, confidence, and fulfillment within yourself. They do not help instill that in you. They do the opposite. They tear it away from you. So I would say I'm better than ever at that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I still do get sometimes, you know, overly attached to, not overly attached, but I definitely like in a way have a dependence, not a dependence though either, but like there are people that I cherish so deeply in my life that sometimes it's painful. But I don't think that's bad. I think what I was referring to in 2023 was an unhealthy attachment, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
So I'm of the belief that we should all do what works for us. I think New Year's resolutions are neither good nor bad. I used to kind of hate them. I used to be a hater. I'm not anymore. I see the value in it. And for the last two years, I was like, you know, let me just give it a try. And I will say, I wrote these resolutions in the beginning of the year and did not return to them again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Like an unhealthy, deeply, like, I need this person or else I will die, you know, type of attachment to people. And I just don't have that anymore because everybody in my life is like, they empower me in a way. I don't know how to explain it. So odd. So that was the end of my 2023 New Year's resolutions. And overall...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
What I learned was it was not pointless for me to make these New Year's resolutions because even though in 2023 they didn't come to fruition, that seed was fucking planted. And now in 2024, here I am, you know? Here I fucking am. And I've accomplished most of those things. But it took a little bit more than a year. And that's maybe something to consider, I guess, if you're somebody who...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
you know, gets frustrated because you look back at your New Year's resolutions from last year and you're like, fuck, I didn't do any of this. It's okay to keep the same list year after year. It's just good to plant the seed. So speaking of that, let's go to 2024 and see my success rate for this past year. My assumption is that this year did not go as well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
A lot of the New Year's resolutions from 2023 didn't carry over because I kind of gave up. I was like, I guess I'm not I guess I'm not going to do these things. It didn't work last year, so I guess I need to take a different approach. So the lists are actually quite different. 2023 is far deeper than 2024. I feel like 2024 is a much more surface level sort of list of resolutions.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
But anyway, let's see what I wrote down. Number one, I said read more books. Didn't do it. Actually, I think I did read more books in 2024 than I did in 2023. However, the list is very, very short. I read probably three books this year. That was it. Three books. And I'm not proud of that. But the truth is, I'm not a reader by nature. I love reading. I want to be a reader. I'm not a natural reader.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I'm not somebody who's just always loved reading. You But I do love whenever I get into a reading phase. And I think reading is really important. And it's something that I need to be better at. But I only read like three books this year. And that is not great. So... I have a great long reading list on Goodreads of books that I want to read. There's no shortage of books. I have a bunch of books.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
My dad gave me all of his classic books, like, you know, the classic stuff, like To Kill a Mockingbird, which I never read, which is weird because most people read that in school, but that was never in my curriculum. We read other books. But yeah, I have all these classic books. I need to get after it. I need to get after it. But... I still want to finish Crime and Punishment one day.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
That's a book I've been reading for probably three years now, four years now. I like cannot fucking get through it. It is a nightmare. It's a classic book. It's very hard to read, but it's very good, but it's very hard to read. And it's very long. And I just, I don't know if I'll ever get through it. But yeah, so I failed that one, I would say.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I mean, if I read a book a month, I would say I succeeded. If I read a book every other month, I would say I succeeded. But three books, nah, that doesn't count. So- Yeah, but it's because I just I spend so much time, you know, using my brain in challenging ways throughout my day for work purposes, whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
And then when I'm not doing that, like I love talking to people and like socializing with my family and friends. By the time the day ends, I don't have any energy to read. I just want to go to bed. Like I don't even know where I'd fit reading into my schedule. So that's the issue there. Next, watch more movies. I haven't really done that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I wanted to watch more movies because I don't really like watching movies, to be honest. I enjoy them occasionally, for sure. But I don't know. I just I'm not ever like excited about the idea of watching a movie. But I want to watch more movies because I think there is a lot to learn from movies for me specifically as a person. I'm a very visual person. I love visual art, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I didn't check up on them on a monthly basis. So my New Year's resolutions for me were more of a seed planted. And I see a lot of value in planting seeds because it's more impactful than you would think. So without further ado, let's begin. 2023 New Year's resolutions. Let's go through one by one and discuss. Number one, find the hobbies that excite me and lean into them. Have I really done that?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I mean, I also love music. I mean, I love all forms of art, as we all do. I'm a human being. But I love visual things. I love really beautiful imagery. I love really beautiful video. I love that stuff, but yet I don't like watching movies. And there's so many movies that are so beautifully shot. I would love to watch more movies so that I could expand my book of reference in my brain.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
but I just fucking hate sitting down for a movie. So I did not watch more movies this year, but it's the same thing as the books. It's like, I don't know when I fit that into my schedule. By the end of the day, I'm like, let me just fucking watch a YouTube video. I love YouTube. I'm sorry. I love YouTube. And maybe, honestly, maybe I just need to watch more YouTube videos. That's what I like.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I don't like fucking movies. I just don't like it. It's not my favorite form of escapism. I don't like books. It's not my favorite form of escapism. I love YouTube. Maybe the problem is not that I don't make time for movies and books, and I should. Maybe the problem is I just need to do what I enjoy when it comes to unwinding, and that's watching YouTube. Maybe I need to not fight it. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Moving on. Only go on social media to post. Yes, as we know, I have accomplished that because that was also on 2023s and I did it. So that's great. Next, work more at my desk, less in my bed. I have done that. I've always loved working in my bed. If you look at the cover art for Anything Goes podcast, it is a illustration of me recording a podcast in my bed, okay? You'll notice.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
And, yeah, I mean, I've always loved working in my bed, you know, because it's comfortable. And I feel like I can get more done when I'm in bed because if I'm really physically comfortable, then I am not thinking about, like, physical discomfort. And I'm able to focus on work harder and feel more mental discomfort. Like, my threshold for mental discomfort is higher.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
But I started to get to a point where working in bed was having a negative impact on me mentally because... And because I was in my bed all day, it was like by the time the day would end and it'd be time to go to bed, I was like, I haven't moved all day. There's something about the act of sitting at a desk, not in your bed, getting your work done.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
And then once you're done with your work, leaving that environment and getting to go to your bed, which is now a sacred space. Having the bed as a sacred space that signifies it's time to go to sleep is very beneficial. And I now see the value in that. And I have been able to accomplish that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
honestly, just through habit, you know, like setting up the desk in a way that's really functional for me, that makes me want to come sit here and do my work. I have a comfortable chair. I have, you know, a certain way that I sit in my chair with my legs up on the desk. I have like all the things I need. I have a little coaster. I have my little cups. I have tissues.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I have everything set up very comfortably, you know, so that this is a little, a All right. So that was successful. Next, I said, manage my time better, improve my overall productivity so that I have more time to experiment in my life. Um, I feel like I kind of discussed this in 2023. Did I? Maybe I didn't. I guess I didn't. Okay. Well, I don't think I've done this very well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I mean, I definitely do think that my productivity over the past year has improved a lot. Honestly, part of me thinks that that's just maturing and being able to be more structured and regimented in my life. Like I think I'm just more mentally stable so I can get up and like get my shit done. I don't know. I think my productivity is good. So I think I've done half of this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I think I have improved my overall productivity, but that hasn't led to more time to experiment in my life. It's just led to me getting more work done, which is great because I've been very productive, but I need to now be like, all right, Emma, we have to sacrifice some of that productive time to being productive for things that are not like... Do you know what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I need to dedicate some of that time to experimenting. So... And then last but not least, another one of... This is basically finding hobbies from 2023. Learn a bunch of new things. I have on here improving my photography, videography skills. I haven't really done that. Play guitar, drums. I haven't done that. I completely fell off of playing drums. Fully have a drum kit and guitars in my house.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
In my defense, I have a lot of musicians in my life, including my father. So like... It's not like this stuff never gets touched or used. There's other people in my life who love to come play with it and stuff. But I have it in my house. I might as well. It's kind of stupid. I should at least learn how to play it. Unfortunately, I can't really play guitar because I love having long nails.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Unfortunately, I would say no, I haven't. And it's very clear to me why that is. I really have a hard time making time for hobbies because even though I'm somebody who preaches to myself and to others the importance of a quality of life,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
So I have to make a choice there. And then last but not least, learn how to score stuff for my own benefit. When I make little videos or...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
long videos or whatever it'd be so nice to know how to use some sort of music production software on my computer whether that would be fucking garage band okay even garage band or like if I become more good at it like I guess logic I don't even know what any of that fucking stuff is but learn how to make little ambient scores for things that I make like even if I were to make like a
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
It'd be nice to know how to make music for that. I have people in my life who can make music for that for me. And that's awesome. But it's like, I would like to be able to do it. I don't know. I could ask, but also be cool if I could do it, you know? So yeah, so that's, I would love to do all those things. I'd love to learn how to do those things. But I didn't in 2024.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I've learned to do none of those things. So 2024 was definitely less successful. However, as we learned from 2023, I have planted seeds, my friend. I have planted seeds. And that's kind of a beautiful thing. I took like 20 minutes this morning to write down my 2025 New Year's resolutions. Low stakes. We'll see what fucking happens. But I thought I'd run through them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
And I don't know, it'll be interesting to see what happens in a year or two years, three years from now. I feel confident that by planting the seed now, you know, it'll bloom eventually. So I present to you my 2025 New Year's resolutions. This is a work in progress. More things will probably be added eventually. Okay, number one, maintain clear goals for my life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I can become really overwhelmed with all of the different opportunities that pique my interest. I can sort of feel directionless at times when it comes to what I dedicate my time towards, what I work towards, because I have a lot of different ideas.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
And that is cool and nice, you know, and not fully a negative thing to be somebody who like has a lot of things that they're excited about, a lot of things that they want to try. However, I do think that it leaves me not spending my time wisely.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Like if I had a clear goal, having clear goals helps you make clear decisions on what to do with your time so that you can actually accomplish things, right? So I think 2025, I'd like to have and maintain clear goals for my life so that I can actually figure out what to dedicate my time towards.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
And that leads me to number two, be intentional about dedicating my time towards things that are leading me closer to my ultimate goals in life and my career. So, you know, I have certain career goals, which I will not be discussing because I like things to be able to change and evolve if needed. You know, I don't like to speak things out loud until they're done for the most part.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
It has been very hard for me in the past to prioritize hobbies over two other very time-consuming important elements of my life that seem to make it hard for me to find time to do anything else. Number one, my work and my career. And number two, my social life with my closest loved ones. That means my family, significant other, best friends. Those two things take up 99% of my time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I think it's good practice. I'd recommend it. So like I have certain career goals. I will not mention them. We'll all find out together if they actually happen or if they evolve into something else. But then also I have goals for my personal life, just me as a human being, you know, And those are other things that, well, I can talk about those. Like I have talked about this before.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I would like to have a family one day, be married, have babies. I, when I was younger, did not think I would want that. But then I grew up and I was like, I would, I, I, I would love that. I actually think I must do that. And that's very important to me. So now it's very important to me. And I'm 23. I'm very young, but like, I will probably have children in five years and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
that is not that long of a time from now. Five years kind of flies by. And I want to work through as much of my bullshit as possible before then. You know what I mean? So that's a priority for me, working through as much of my bullshit as possible so that I can be a good mom and a good wife and a good person to be around for my family. That's an important thing for me. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
But also another priority for me on a personal level is working on becoming a more dynamic person, being well-read, having more hobbies. These things make you a more dynamic person and that's important to me as well and that's something I want to improve upon. So yeah, be intentional about dedicating my time towards things that are leading me closer to my ultimate goals in my life and career.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Taking steps every day to get closer to those goals. Number three, buy the least amount of stuff possible. Consume less, okay? I'm already doing really well. But I'm now in sort of the maintenance game. And that is what I'm fighting for here. Like, let's maintain this good habit that we've got. Because it's one thing to quit. It's another thing to prevent a relapse.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
You know, it's a whole other journey. So... Keeping the shopping addiction at pay, okay? Next, 2025, I'd love to help more people, whether it's like in small ways, just being more thoughtful, like somebody fucking drops things all over the ground, showing up and helping them. I can't remember the last time that that happened in front of me and that there was an opportunity to help.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
But like, if it fucking happens, I want to be there to help, you know? Finding more volunteering opportunities, okay? stuff like that you know just helping people as much as possible because that's fucking obvious that there's no I don't need to explain that one that's very obvious and then we have some reoccurring ones Read more books. Hopefully this year I get to read more books.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Or maybe this year I realize I'm going to read books when I fucking feel like it. Stop pressuring yourself to read books, Emma. It doesn't work in your lifestyle right now. That's not the way that you're choosing to learn and entertain yourself and soothe yourself. Like, it's okay. You'll read again. You know, life is long. You'll read again. We'll see.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
But also learn a bunch of new things, maybe for real this time. Basically everything that I listed before. Various musical endeavors that it sounds steep to learn. I feel like we'll see. But hey, you never know. Improving photography and videography skills and... I would also like to improve my barista skills. This year, I just recently bought for my home a new espresso machine.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
And I really want to learn how to properly, like, I really want to master it because there is an art to it, you know, and I really want to master it. So that's another thing that I want to improve. And that's it. I'll probably add more to that list. Maybe I won't. I mean, I think that's kind of it. And we'll see what happens.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Let me know your New Year's resolutions if you made any on social media at Anything Goes. New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Thanks for hanging out. It is always a pleasure. I can't wait to touch base in a year and see what happened with my New Year's resolutions. We will see.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Find me on social media at Emma Chamberlain to watch what I'm doing on social media and see if you can pick up on me following any of my New Year's resolutions. We'll see if you'll be able to tell. If you see me re-wearing the same clothes over and over again, that means I have not gone shopping, which is a good thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
If I post photos of GarageBand or Logic open on my computer, that means I am figuring out how to use it. And if I'm using a little caption that says, Studio Days... then you know I've really lost my mind. So Godspeed to all of us. 2025 is almost here. Let's make it a fucking good one. All right, let's make it a fucking great one.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I'm saying that as though I'm not gonna speak to you again before the year ends. I will be speaking to you. I'll be speaking to you in a few days, actually. So I'll talk to you then. Okay, love you all. Appreciate you all. And goodbye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I have yet to find time for hobbies. And it does make me sad because I do see the value in hobbies and I've had brief stints of finding the time for hobbies and it's been incredibly fulfilling and exciting and fun for me. However, it's not sustainable. I haven't found a sustainable model for it yet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I will mention though that my career, a lot of my career actually includes things that are also my hobbies. So to an extent, I do fulfill the hobby desire in my career. A certain portion of my working life is stuff that used to be hobbies for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
So I am in a unique situation where I do still get to have fun with my hobbies, but I do think it's healthy once you start making money from your hobby, if that's something that occurs in your life. to then make more hobbies. You need to have something that you do for you, not for money, not to impress other people, just for you. And I don't know why it's not sustainable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
It might be because I'm barking up the wrong tree, forcing yourself to get into a hobby that doesn't click for you, can be really disappointing and it can end in failure, you know? And maybe that's why I've never been able to stick to a hobby because I just haven't found the one that sticks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Or maybe I'm underestimating certain hobbies that I have in my life that come to me really easily to the point where they don't even feel like a hobby because they're just a part of my routine. A good example of that would be I love going to yoga classes and Pilates classes and I enjoy exercise a lot. All different forms of exercise. Like to me, that is not really even a hobby.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
That's just like a part of my life. But that is a hobby. So maybe my perspective on hobbies is... is off. And things like exercise should be considered more of a hobby. I don't know. But I don't have the hobby thing figured out. If I look at my own life, I don't see myself being a person with a lot of hobbies. And I know people who are. People who play instruments just for fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
What can we learn from the past two years of my New Year's resolutions in Now in hindsight, what can we learn about the concept of New Year's resolutions? What can we learn about myself? What can we learn about the world? Today we're going to be looking at my New Year's resolutions for the past two years, reacting to them, and seeing what we discover along the way, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
People who garden just for fun. People who... I don't know. I hike and Yoga and like I do a lot of exercise. So I guess those are my hobbies currently. But I guess maybe I want more creative hobbies and that's what I'm looking for. I'm not somebody who has a lot of hobbies. So that has not really come to fruition yet. Okay, number two, resilience against the internet. Stop being so scared of it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Have fun with it. Just recently in 2024, do I feel like I am back? And I'm not afraid of the internet anymore. I talked about this in my episode about having a meltdown recently. The title of that episode has the word meltdown in it so you'll be able to find it. Talking about my fear of the internet and how that's sort of tortured me over the last few years.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I've definitely had a really hard time posting on the internet and making things for the internet over the last few years because I've been living in fear. Fear of the witch hunt, you know, of the internet being canceled. Honestly, I'm more afraid of being canceled for something I didn't do than being canceled for something I did do. Because if I did do it, then I can say, hey, I did do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
And it was fucking stupid. And I'm sorry. And here's what I learned from it. And here's why I won't do it again. And Like, that doesn't scare me because it's real and it's true and it's something I can speak to. You know, I can speak to it because I fucking did it. I can say why I did it. Like, I'm in control of that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
But, you know, people get canceled for shit that they didn't do or for stuff getting taken out of context just as often as people get canceled for stuff that they really did do that they actually deserve to sort of get some pushback for. And... The whole thing, I think, is very frightening to me and uncomfortable for me. And I'm afraid of it bleeding into my real life and ruining my real life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
And, you know, the Internet's very fickle and unforgiving. And, you know, there's like the most insane level of standards for humanity on the Internet. Everyone has to be perfect to sail by unscathed. And, you know, that's sort of an impossible thing to do. It's impossible to be perfect. I really have struggled with that for the last few years.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
And I've struggled with an extreme level of perfectionism trying to make me feel in control to lessen my fear. And it's put me in a really miserable, miserable place mentally where I don't enjoy being on the Internet. You know, I'm afraid of it. And that sucks because this is my job and it's a job that I dreamed of having or I never even dreamed of having.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
It was like something that started to happen and then I was like, holy fuck, I never even fathomed this as a possibility. Now I'm here and I'm so grateful. But then, you know, I was overcome with fear in a way that I couldn't control. So... it made it miserable. And that's a shame, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
And I, even in 2023, was aware of how unhealthy that was and how, you know, I need to figure out a way to not be afraid anymore. And it did not happen in 2023, I'll tell you that. But it recently has happened for me. And I think it's because I hit a limit. I had been scared for so long that the fear itself was causing more harm than what I was scared of happening would. Do you know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Like, I was scared of the internet being mean to me. I was scared of the wrath of the internet. But my daily life became worse than the wrath of the internet. Does that make sense? Because I was torturing myself. So then I hit my limit. I had to freak out. And I was like, I'm not going to be afraid anymore because I fucking can't. It's like, this is my only option.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I either quit being on the internet... to relieve the pain or I just fucking get over it. And sometimes that's what you have to do to get over stuff, you know, to stop being afraid of stuff. You have to say, I just can't be afraid anymore. I cannot survive another day of being afraid. So I just have to choose to not be afraid anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Because I can almost guarantee we will discover at least something sort of interesting. Before we begin, I should clarify my stance on New Year's resolutions because the conversation around New Year's resolutions every year tends to be a bit polarizing. A lot of people think New Year's resolutions are pointless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
And there's something kind of annoying about that because it's like, well, fuck, why didn't I do that sooner? But sometimes the only way to get to that point is to let fear be an issue in itself to a I do think I'm having fun with the internet again. I'm not afraid of it. My relationship to it is improving rapidly. And yeah, I'm just not afraid anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
But it's something that I think only time could bring to me. I don't think it should have been a New Year's resolution in a way because I don't think I even had control over when it happened. I tried time and time again to try to fix my relationship to the internet and it just took time. Next, I said, use social media for posting instead of looking.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Retrain my brain to go to healthier sources of entertainment when I'm bored. This is another thing that only got resolved recently, I think through having two phones. I've talked about this a lot. I won't go into detail, but basically I have two phones now. One that has social media and addictive apps on it, like food delivery and all the bad stuff, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
And then my day-to-day phone has only the healthy stuff. Spotify, occasionally YouTube if I have a good relationship with YouTube at the time. And then, of course, all the apps for work and the book app, you know, all that stuff. Audible, you know, you get the deal, like all that shit. And I will say, like, I do not doom scroll at all anymore on Instagram. I used to doom scroll on Instagram.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Now I'll go around Instagram a little bit, check in on what's going on with my friends and my loved ones. Every time I post something, but I'm not spending time scrolling anymore. And it is truly I never thought it'd be possible. But I'm here. I did it. It took an extreme measure, but the extreme measure worked. And now I'm no longer addicted to doom scrolling anymore. And it is fucking awesome.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
So I did do that. That's kind of awesome. Okay, next I said, associate less of my self-worth in my physical body. Find it in my heart and my mind. This is something that I think is hard for majority of young people. I think a lot of us hold our worth and our value in the way that we look. Because unfortunately, that plays a role in our day-to-day life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I think when you're younger, your physical body is more of a topic of conversation. Whereas when you get older, everybody gets wrinkles. Everybody starts having skin that's flabby in weird areas. Everybody's face looks... less youthful because you're older. It's like what fucking happens? You're aging, you know, which is beautiful and great, but challenging for a lot of people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
But also I think a lot of times, and I've talked about this with my parents who are in their mid to late fifties and they both are like, you know, being older and has set me free. I'm not as concerned about what I look like. I've especially talked about this with my mom because I think there's a different relationship. Like, like women have a very, I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I, I don't want to stereotype or like generalize, but I do think that women have a very particular relationship to their, to their beauty, you know? So I've talked about this with a lot with my mom and she's like, you know, I just don't care anymore. Like I, We're all old now, you know? Who fucking cares? I just want to be happy and fulfilled and feel good and make good memories.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Making a bunch of goals at once is overwhelming for the average person and nothing ends up coming of it except for disappointment. Other people believe that it's incredibly helpful and that we need a reset every once in a while. And the new year is a great time for that. It's a day on the calendar that holds a lot of weight because it is the sign of a new year.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Like, she's not as concerned about her physical body anymore. She's not as... Her value is not in her physical body anymore. You know, she wants to be helpful to people. She wants to work hard. She doesn't care about being a hottie anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
You know, and I think being on the Internet and just being somebody in my early 20s, almost mid 20s, but right now early 20s still, I would say, like, I think it's inevitable that I'm going to hold my self-worth in how I look by default. And, you know, I'm constantly working on combating that and it's an ongoing journey.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
I will say, if I think back to myself in 2023 versus today, I think I definitely associate less of my self-worth in my physical body and more in my heart and mind. I absolutely do think I've improved. Do I think I have a lot more to improve on? Yes. But I think that that's going to be an ongoing journey. I think the way that I've been able to associate
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
less of my self-worth in my physical body is honestly by doing a few things. I think number one, by focusing on wearing clothes that make me feel like myself and make me feel really comfortable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
The more I lean into my personal style and just own that and not worry about if it's repetitive or if I'm not experimenting enough, the more I lean into my personal style and the more that I improve on becoming a good person, the less I'm concerned about my physical body. Also, the more I surround myself with people who treat me right, that, for some reason...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
impacts where I hold my worth you know I don't know why but like when I'm around people who genuinely I can tell love me for who I am as a human being that then allows me to see the value I bring as a human being which allows me to put more of my value there whereas when I'm with people who I just can't really tell if they even value me as a human being then I'm like and then I start to put my value in places where it shouldn't be such as my physical body
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
Anyway, I have still a long ways to go with that, but I do think I've improved. Next, be more thoughtful about how I spend my money. I did not do that in 2023. However, again, I feel like I'm having some sort of fucking renaissance in my life. Like, I'm completing 2023's New Year's resolutions now, which is very interesting. But...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
reacting to my old new year's resolutions
that's a sign that by making these new year's resolutions, I clearly planted a seed in my brain and it didn't sprout immediately, but now it's blooming today. I recently am having an entire perspective shift on how I spend money, especially on things like clothes, because I used to for sure have a shopping addiction, which I think most of us do. It's normalized in our culture today.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Let me tell you about three things that are really important to me, okay? Number one, efficiency. I don't like extra steps. I don't like wasted time. I spend probably an hour every day thinking about how I can make my day as efficient as possible. And I know what you're thinking. Spending an hour a day thinking about how to be more efficient probably is inefficient, right? Wrong, wrong.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
It makes taking the pill, the pills seamless and like just easy. Oh my God. I just remembered another life hack that I just remembered because my ears are really itchy. I have really, really horrible seasonal allergies to pollen and dust and all these different things. And cats, I think. I actually do think I have a... allergy to cats. However, I have two.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
So what I'm trying to say is I have really, really bad allergies and I'm constantly dealing with like itchy ears, sneezing, like allergy attacks, eyes watering, nose running, like the whole thing. sometimes to a point where it's like debilitating. And the itchy ears, I'm on a medication for that as well, or not a medication, but I take an over-the-counter allergy medicine for that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
But that's not enough, okay? And it's so funny. Recently, somebody gave me a life hack for itchy ears. Now, ask your doctor before you do this, okay? Because I don't know if this is like actually bad or not. Somebody just told me to do it and I did it and it helped. Their doctor told them to do it. But like, listen, this game of telephone to me, I feel irresponsible with it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
You ask your doctor before you do this. But itchy ears want to know what I do. Take a little Q-tip, put a little bit of cortisone cream on it, put it in the ears. Okay, not too deep, but just where it feels comfortable. And I rub the cream in the ear. I don't know what how it works. But it fully makes the ear itch go away. It's incredible.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Averting crises as often as possible is important to me. Now, what does this all really say about me? If you were to simplify it, basically that I like life hacks. And I think most people think of life hacks and they cringe because there was this weird phase on the internet for a few years where like 90% of internet content was was about some sort of life hack.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And I struggle so much with itchy ears, like inside the ears. And I'm constantly having to make sounds such as this. which is absolutely horrible for my loved ones. They hate it. Although my dad does it too. So my dad doesn't hate it because he does it as well. And then when he does it, it doesn't bother me because I do it as well. But for everybody else I know, it's so annoying.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Everyone thinks it's so annoying. Why are you making that sound? Figure it out. Fix it. What's happening? This is insane that you're making that sound, but it's so itchy. It's unbearable. Anyway, so this life hack of putting the cortisone cream in my ear, it's amazing. I have the cortisone cream with aloe, which is even more like, you know, moisturizing and good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Ask your doctor before you do that. But if your doctor says go, then you're good to go. Listen, it works for me though. I'll tell you. Okay, moving on. Whenever I find that I'm being faced with a reoccurring issue, I try to find some sort of niche object that could be the solution. And I try to think outside the box. Okay, let me give some examples because I feel like that is a bit abstract.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Let me paint this picture for you, okay? Something that I bought recently was this sort of pair of tongs or tweezers almost that that you can clip onto your key chain that basically helps you pull your credit card out of credit card slots.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
For example, like if you're paying for parking at a parking meter or if you're at the gas station and you insert the card and then pull it out, it's a little pair of tweezers slash tongs that you can use to pull your card out if you have long acrylic nails. I can't tell you how many times my card, credit card, has gotten stuck
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
in either a parking meter or a gas station, whatever, where you have to insert your card and then pull it out. If you have long nails, there's a chance that you will not be able to get your card out. And I've had moments where I've been like, I don't know if I can get my card out. It might just be stuck. And that's really frightening.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
canceling a credit card and getting a new one or a debit card, debit cards even worse. Wow, that's not fun. So I was so traumatized and scarred by that experience that I somewhat recently bought this little product that would prevent that from ever happening again because it was so traumatic. It's always very traumatic. Another example, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
This actually also relates to having really long acrylic nails. Maybe the life hack is to just not have really long acrylic nails. I'm realizing. But I really like having them sometimes. So you know what? No, I'm going to work around that. Okay, I'm going to work around the long acrylic nails.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
A lot of my skincare products come in like a little pot, you know, where you have to dig your dirty little finger in there and get the product out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
If you have long acrylic nails, digging your little finger in there, well, I guess your long finger in there, if you have long acrylic nails, digging your long fingernail into the skincare product, it's just, it's horrible for so many different reasons. Number one, who knows what's under those nails? Okay, that's number one.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Number two, like having product under your nail, stuck under your nail, it feels disgusting and horrible. And it's a waste of product because a lot of times you can't even get it out fully. Anyway, I bought little scoopers, like little silicone scoopers where you can just scoop product out and then put it into the palm of your hand and then rub it together and then put it wherever. So helpful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And then actually, recently I got a gift actually from a brand. They sent me this sort of gua sha and skincare spoon kit. It was super beautiful. and I started using these little fancy spoons, skincare spoons, and I was like, this is incredible. That is something that came out of necessity, being like, this is so annoying, this is a daily pet peeve.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Another thing, I can't tell you how many times I need a pair of scissors out of nowhere, or I need a toothpick out of nowhere, or I need tweezers out of nowhere, or I need a nail file out of nowhere. You know what has all of those things in one? A mini Swiss Army knife, okay? I got a mini Swiss Army knife and put it on my keychain and I use it all the time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And, you know, there are only so many life hacks in life. You know what I'm saying? Like there are only so many. And because this was such a video trend, it became this thing of like, people were just coming up with these ridiculous life hacks that actually didn't work and actually required more steps than the original. Like it wasn't hacking life, it was actually making life more complicated.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Before I was chewing on minty toothpicks to help with my oral fixation problem, I would use the little mini toothpick in there all the time. If a rogue weird hair grows on my face, like on my chin or something, and I need to pluck it, boom, pull out the Swiss Army knife, pull out the little tweezers. If a nail breaks and it's sharp, nail file.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
If I need to cut a tag off of something, I have mini scissors. It's incredible, okay? And I always have my keys with me. It's incredible. The mini Swiss Army knife, it's unbelievable. Truly, the Swiss Army knife is like, to me... It is the pinnacle of design. It's incredible. I love the Swiss Army knife.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Another example, I drink electrolytes, like electrolyte powders all the time on a daily basis, actually. And a reoccurring issue that I was having was that I was like pouring my powdered electrolytes into the water and it wasn't combining very well. It was kind of chunky, you know, and And so you want to know what I got? I got a blender cup. Okay. I got this blender cup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
It's not like a blender with like sharp, like you couldn't make a smoothie in it, but it's like honestly a blender cup for mixing powders into water. It has like a little plastic propeller. It just looks like a cup, has like a little base on it, pretty lightweight and small that's chargeable. And I basically just put like a little bit of water in there, probably like a half cup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
I put my powders in there. I press the on button. It spins it. It disperses it evenly. Once it's dispersed evenly and dissolved evenly, I pour it into my larger Stanley cup, of course. And then everything's all good. And it's all evenly dispersed. It's so helpful to dissolve liquids in a more controlled environment like that first.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And then mix it into your big Stanley cup that has the ice and the rest of the water that's very cold, et cetera. It's like... I don't know scientifically why that is the way that it is, why it's easier to do it that way. There's definitely a reason, but I don't even want to Google it. And I don't even need to because I've solved the problem with my little blender cup, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Another example, I have infinite examples for little niche helpful items that I use on a daily basis that have solved daily problems. The list goes on, okay? putting an air tag on my cat's collar, okay? I used to constantly be overwhelmed with paranoia about my cats getting out and them getting lost and them getting eaten by coyotes because there are many coyotes in my neighborhood.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And the only thing that has helped not only ease my mind, but also keep tabs on them in general is the AirTag on the collar. It's on my iPhone. I can check whenever I want. You know, it's just, it's incredible. I think that's kind of a common thing. I think a lot of people use the AirTag on their pets, but it is so good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Oh my God, another little weird random niche thing that I bought, a little bag holder, a little bag hook, like a little hook that, that you can put onto a table. You can slide onto a table at a restaurant, for example, and you can hang your bag so that you have a place to put your bag at a restaurant. I absolutely love this thing. It's so funny.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And so then the trend ultimately died. And then we all sort of started to hate life hacks. But We really don't hate life hacks. We all have our own life hacks in our day-to-day life. And we might not even realize that we have them, but we do. And I am somebody who absolutely loves hacking my life, okay? I am constantly trying to figure out how to hack my life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
I remember when I was like eight years old, I was at the car wash with my mom and we were looking around in the little gift shop at the car wash because obviously they have a little gift shop and so that you hopefully buy things while you're waiting for your car to be done. And I remember I saw this invention for the first time and I showed my mom and she was like, whoa.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And I think she bought one. I swear she did. And then eventually we both forgot about this invention. And then I remembered it again, sort of recently, like within the last few years, because I just had started to realize that I needed it. And I was like, I need to buy one of the little table. It's like a little retractable table
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
hook that you can you know again like unfold and then attach it to the table and then you can just hang your bag on it I was like wait I need that thing again and so I bought it again and it is good next bug catcher yeah they exist like you don't need to use the cup in the piece of paper anymore to get to catch the bug and put it outside there are bug catchers that make it so easy and Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
They're online and they are worth it. Okay. Because you're saving a little bug's life. And I actually use mine all the time. I literally use mine all the time. It's incredible. And my veggie dicer. Wow. The veggie dicer. It's this like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Sort of it's this kitchen appliance, if you will, where there's like a big container at the bottom and then there's a sort of lid that goes on top of the container. And the lid has this like it has two like layers on it and the top layer hinges up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And then it reveals this lattice of metal, of course, and you can put down vegetables and then you slam down the top and then it dices vegetables for you. This has changed. I don't want to fucking dice vegetables. What do I look like? An inefficient person to you? No, I want a machine to dice vegetables for me. It's incredible. And it dices each little thing into equal pieces.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Like it's so symmetrical and even and beautiful. Oh, It creates such a beautiful dice. Anyway, that was inspired by the fact that I hate dicing vegetables. I think most people do. I think even trained chefs who probably find it to be somewhat meditative would even be like, I'd rather use a veggie chopper. It's so good. It's such a good invention.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
If you have a daily inconvenience, there's probably an appliance that could help with it. And I know there are some of you at home like... literally punching your phone or punching your computer or whatever device you're using to watch or listen to this episode thinking, Emma, you're all about not buying stuff you don't need. Like you said that you're trying to buy less stuff.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Did I say I buy nothing? Did I say I buy nothing? No, I didn't. Okay. I use every single thing that I just listed constantly. constantly. These are things that enhance my life, make my life better. And there are some people out there that are like, you don't need those things. Sure, you don't need those things. But to me, they make my life better. Okay. And so I'm all about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
I'm just not about buying things that you don't need, that you're not going to use. That's what I have a problem with. Finding the perfect object that makes your life more efficient, that solves a problem, that's what products are for. So I'm all about buying the niche little thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Like if you're somebody who eats strawberries every day, then you should probably buy the little strawberry thing that, the little strawberry distemmer where you like shove strawberries this sharp thing into the top of the strawberry and then twist and then it takes out the green stem. Do you know what I'm talking about? Like, if you're somebody who never eats strawberries, you don't need that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
So buying that's a waste for you. But if you eat strawberries every day, that is a great purchase for you. Do you see what I'm saying? Or if you put a banana in your lunch every day, buying a little banana-shaped plastic banana container so that your banana doesn't get bruised, that's a good purchase for you. People look at objects like that and are like, that's useless, that's pointless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
It's almost like a hobby for me, honestly. Because I will say, and I'm not like trying to shit on the people of my life, but... I think my life is more hacked than anyone that I know. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode of Anything Goes is presented by Temptations Cat Treats.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Just figure out something else. Okay, sure, but also if there's a little invention for that that you're gonna use every single day, you should get it. Sorry, sorry, that's my opinion.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Moving on to an organizational hack that took me a shocking amount of years to figure out because it seems like common sense, but I'm somebody who is actually pretty organized and it took even me many years to figure this out. Listen, maybe I'm really late to this, like I'm actually self-conscious.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
to mention this life hack because I feel like a lot of you are going to say, Emma, that is so obvious. But I swear to me, it was not obvious. for years. Okay. Well, let me begin by saying how I used to organize things. Like my organizational philosophy used to be sort of empty. It was basically just make everything look organized, put everything where it probably fits best and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And yeah, just like make it look good and give it a place. That was kind of it, okay? My philosophy was empty. Then I realized I had it all wrong. You have to think of what you use most and you have to put that at the most convenient location, okay? I can't tell you...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
how many years I spent living inconveniently because I had organized things just based on where I felt like they fit best, based on like where I feel like they maybe looked best and not based on like what I actually use the most, okay? Like for example, in my pantry, Right. I put all of my like baking stuff like flour, sugar, all of that at eye level. Why? I don't know.
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life hacking my way through life
Just because it kind of looked good there. And then below that, I put like protein powders and stuff like that. And then below that, I put like snacks and stuff. You want to know what I consume the most of? Snacks. That's actually what I consume the most of. I don't bake that often. Like almost never, to be honest. I mean, I, if anything, I prefer cooking over baking.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Like baking happens pretty rarely these days. I enjoy it, but it doesn't happen a lot. Okay. I ended up moving my pantry around completely, putting snacks towards the middle and then like pasta and dry grains and stuff like that right above it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
also at eye level and then I put baking stuff at like the very top because I rarely ever bake and it's no problem to like get out a little stool and and take everything down the one or two times a year I I bake these days you know what I'm saying like another example would be in my closet right there was a period of time when I had all my workout clothes like my you know like the stuff that I would go on a hike in not necessarily like my workout clothes like I
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
sports bras and like shorts, but like hiking stuff or like going on a walk stuff, right? Stuff that I wear a lot because I walk a lot. I had that all like shoved into drawers for some reason. That makes no sense. I wear those clothes all the time. Why aren't they out? They should be out on my shelves so that I can grab them easily. Do you see what I'm saying?
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life hacking my way through life
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life hacking my way through life
I had my hoodies downstairs in a closet downstairs and not in my bedroom's closet. That doesn't make any sense. I wear a hoodie all the time. Do you see what I'm saying? There used to just be illogical choices made just based on what I thought. Oh, well, this closet kind of feels like a hoodie closet. I was basing my organization on kind of nothing.
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life hacking my way through life
And now when I'm organizing, I am thinking in what I do every day, my daily routine. And I'm really trying to focus on that so that like everything is placed in the most efficient place possible and organizing based on that first. And sometimes it maybe doesn't look as aesthetically pleasing or, you know, whatever. But that is my number one priority.
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life hacking my way through life
And I'm also constantly reorganizing things as my routine changes. You know, like if at a certain point I stop wearing the sort of workout clothes that I wear on my walks or my hikes or whatever, if I like am not really walking or hiking as much anymore and I'm not wearing those. OK, maybe those go in the drawer then. You know, and maybe I take out like my favorite pair of leggings.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Maybe I'm into leggings all of a sudden instead of like workout sweatpants. And like, I don't know. Do you know what I'm saying? If my routine changes, then we change things. And constantly looking at the way that things are organized in a critical way. This is sort of new for me, but it's such a life hack because it genuinely makes life easier. Moving on. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. ,,,,,,, ,,,,,,, ,,,,,,, ,,,,,,, This little it's almost it's going to be like a canopy for your poop and you will not leave a skid mark.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Because while I'm thinking about how to make my day more efficient, I'm doing other things that are productive, okay? And that's called optimization, okay? Which leads me to number two, optimization. making every single step in the day count. Every single action is accomplishing two tasks. Do you see what I'm saying? Optimization, getting the most done with the least amount of effort.
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life hacking my way through life
To be honest, I think I'm a little bit too obsessed with efficiency and optimization and crisis aversion and preparedness. Like, I think it is kind of an unhealthy obsession at times for me. Because I am really hard on myself when things are inefficient, when I am unprepared, like I really beat myself up about it. And that's not healthy.
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life hacking my way through life
But I do think it's overall a positive sort of sentiment to like, I don't know, like hack your life. Like I think it's a positive concept. I think I personally take it too far, but I think it's something that everyone can benefit from incorporating into their lives. Like I think most of us could always be more efficient, more optimized, more prepared.
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life hacking my way through life
There's a few of us out there who become obsessed with it, but even for us, it's still good. We get a lot of shit done. you know, and we're always prepared and it's great. Anyway, with all of that being said, today I'm going to be sharing some of my personal life hacks. Listen, are these going to work for you? Maybe not. That's not the point.
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life hacking my way through life
You are welcome. You can be disgusted all you want, but you're fucking welcome because the next time you're on a date and then you go back to the to this hot person's house and then suddenly you have to poop because you had dairy for dinner and you're a little bit lactose intolerant and you're like, oh, my God, what do I do? yeah, put down the toilet paper and poop on it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
But wait, you're not even pooping on it. Like, do you get what I'm saying? You're literally just laying it on the surface so that it can hold your poop. And then when you flush it, just no poop ever touches the bowl. You see what I'm saying? Listen, it's disgusting. I don't want to talk about it either. I don't want to talk about it either. But I'm trying to help you.
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life hacking my way through life
I figured this out the other day on accident because I went to the bathroom on top of toilet paper that was already there because somebody in my house didn't flush. And it probably was me, actually. But let's pretend it was somebody else. And I watched what had happened because I flushed and got up. And then I guess I did look at the wall. This is getting worse. I need to stop talking.
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life hacking my way through life
Let's move on. Let's move on. Let's move on for love of God. Okay. Oh, another gross one I'm realizing because I'm looking at my list of life hacks and this one's also a little bit gross, but it's less gross. It's about menstruation. I don't the use of tampons can sometimes increase your risk of getting toxic shock. And toxic shock is very serious and can kill you. Don't be afraid.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
I'm just trying to inspire you to figure out your own life hacks. The truth is, you know what? I'm actually thinking about this now. I think the problem with the life hack era on the internet, when everybody was posting about different life hacks that you should incorporate into your life, because it'll make you more efficient, you more prepared.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Okay, don't let me scare you like I've been afraid by other people telling me stories. Because if you wear tampons responsibly, and again, talk to your doctor and do all these things, you're probably fine. But I just have so much health anxiety that I was like, I don't even want to wear a tampon anymore. I'd rather... do something else. So you want to know what I'm doing? No, it's not a diva cup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
It's period underwear, preferably like a period boy short. Okay. So period underwear, meaning underwear with a built-in pad. Yes, they exist. You probably know about them, but if you don't, yes, they exist. With a liner inside. Okay. Panty liner. I hate the word panty. So gross, but panty liner. That's the only word I know. The thin sort of pad. Okay. inside of the period underwear.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
So now you have double protection, okay? You have a liner, which is going to absorb a good amount. But once the liner fills up, you know, the underwear starts absorbing. I can go for so long and I have a pretty decent flow. Like I'm not... light. I used to be very heavy, so heavy that this actually wouldn't have worked for me. But also tampons didn't even work for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
That's how heavy my period was. I was bleeding through like the largest tampon, the most absorbent tampon in like 20 minutes. It was very abnormal. But now my flow is more normal. and I'm wearing period underwear with a pad inside. This is for long-term wear. If I'm walking around the house, I'm not putting the pad in the period underwear. I'm just going to wear the period underwear.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
But if I want backup support, we're wearing the liner in the period underwear. And it's miraculous how effective it is. And it's nice because, again, I really don't like wearing tampons. And I don't really like putting things inside. I'd prefer to keep it all exterior. if possible.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
The only thing that's weird about that, especially if you're somebody who's never like just used pads, like if you're somebody who's used a tampon your entire life, period life, it feels so weird to just be sort of free bleeding into your period underwear with a pad in it. Like you'll think like, oh my God, there's no way that I'm not leaking because you can feel it. It's weird.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
But you're not leaking probably. If you have a pad and period underwear on, you're probably not leaking. You're probably fine. I'm like obsessed with this method. I'm about to have my period soon. Let's look at my period app. Today, according to my period app, is a possible period day. I could get it today, but it's projected to start in two days. I don't know why I shared that with you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Okay, let's move on. Another life hack, before you buy a piece of furniture or home decor, Photoshop it into your space. Now, you don't need to be a Photoshop professional to do this. Okay, let me tell you how I do it. And I'm not being sponsored by this website.
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life hacking my way through life
Canva is a website that has all of these super user-friendly tools that would take like eight years to learn how to do on Photoshop, like Adobe Photoshop. Not that... Listen, Photoshop is incredible, okay? I'm not shitting on that at all, but I am saying that for most of us, it's unusable on day one, right? So like Canva is great because it has all these different tools.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
The problem was not only were the hacks for the most part really bad, but they weren't personalized. I really do think only you can hack your life. You know, like don't copy all of my life hacks. Just take inspiration from my life hacks, you know? And as my yoga teacher says to me, this is so weird. Take what you want and leave what you don't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Again, they are not sponsoring me. If they want to, they can. I'm here, but... I just love Canva. It's an incredible website. And basically what I'll do, like this is especially helpful if I'm making like a larger decision, like I'm, you know, gonna spend a chunk of money on a lamp or on, you know, new nightstands or whatever, something that's like a significant decision.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
I will take a photo of my room and then I'll take a photo or screenshot a photo of the new furniture piece that I want. And I'll do my best. Listen, again, It's never going to be perfectly accurate. That's not what this is for. You're just trying to get the gist of it, right? I will import the image of my room or the space that I want this piece to go in.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And then I will take the photo or screenshot of the item that I'm considering purchasing. And then I will use the background removal tool. So basically, it's just then the object, right, with a transparent background. And then I'll basically insert it into the image of my home. And there are even some home decor websites that actually do this for you. I don't often use them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
which I should because I'm literally talking about doing it myself. But I kind of like doing it on my own because I can move things around the way I want. I don't know. Maybe I need to experiment more with websites, tools like that, but they don't always work very well. I don't know. I recently did this with my nightstand lights. I have little lamps on my nightstands. They broke and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to fix them. Spoiler alert, I was able to fix them, but I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to. So in the meantime, I started looking for lights because, or lamps, because I use the lamp on my nightstand every single day and I was kind of freaking out. I was like, it's going to be dark in my room at night. Like, what am I going to do?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
I don't want to turn my overhead light on. What's happening? Anyway. And, you know, it's funny. I photoshopped, like, I'm not kidding, probably 10 lamps into the space and I didn't like any of them. And then I was like, I really need to get my current ones fixed because I hate every single other lamp in this space. Not to be dramatic. I'm being dramatic, but I'm not trying to be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
But yeah, anyway, I got them fixed. So it's totally fine. But I'm glad that I did that because I might have bought lamps that didn't work in the space. I think you could also do that with clothes too. But I don't know, with clothes, it's a harder thing to Photoshop. But you could, and then you could just see if the colors look nice on you or whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
It's not a bad idea, but that's something that I do now because it was so helpful for me that one time. Next, this is so simple, but write everything down immediately. I know this kind of isn't a life hack because it sort of seems like common sense in a way,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Anytime I forget to write something down immediately that needs to be written down, for example, a scheduling thing or an appointment or a reminder to do something, I forget. Without fail, I forget. If you need to write something down, if you need to remember something, do it immediately and have a designated space to do so. I put a lot of stuff on my Google Calendar.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
That's usually where I'll write things down, but I also have... a document on my Notion app, which is like, I don't know, like a software that you can use to like make documents basically in a very organized sort of way. I mainly use Notion and Google Calendar for organization of my schedule and ideas and all these different things.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And then I sometimes will use physical notebooks and stuff, but usually digital is the most useful for me. And so I have a document where I literally just have one document where I'll write down stuff that I need to remember to do or need to remember to buy or whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
That's what my yoga teacher says to me before we start class. Do I really know what it means? No, I have no clue what she's even talking about by that. But I listen to her say it and I absorb it. And then I do the downward dog. Anyway, without further ado, I will be sharing with you my life hacks.
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life hacking my way through life
And there's a bunch of or like random creative ideas that I came up with that I want to write down that I have nowhere else to put. I'll put it in this document. It's really important to have a place to write these things down or to just put it in your calendar immediately. I'm telling you, it's a game changer. That actually reminds me of another life hack that again, it sounds obvious.
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life hacking my way through life
It sounds sort of like common sense, but I don't consider a task completed until I've cleaned up afterwards. And I know so many people who do not live their lives this way. Okay. So like an example would be, let's say you received a package in the mail of something that you bought and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
To me, I have trained myself to not consider the task completed until I've opened the box, taken the object out, unpackaged it, opened it up, cleaned up all of the trash that came with the thing that I bought. So that would be the box, the packaging. I must collapse all of that, put it in the trash, okay? And then set up the item wherever it needs to be set up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Let's say it's like an appliance, okay? Plug it in, do whatever I need to do with it, clean it or whatever, okay? And then that's when that task is completed. Or like if I cook, for example, I might not necessarily like do all of the dishes, okay? Sometimes I wait a little bit. I mean, I'll put everything in the dishwasher that can be dishwashed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And then sometimes there's a few things that need to be hand washed that will stay in the sink, sometimes for a day or two. But to me, a cooking experience is not done until everything is put away. The countertops are wiped. Sometimes I slack on that, but like... Everything is put away. Everything's either in the sink or in the dishwasher. It's all clean.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
There's not one little piece of plastic on the counter. Everything is thrown away. Everything is put away. Nothing's left out. Again, it sounds obvious, but... Training yourself to clean up after yourself as you go to complete tasks before you move on to the next one. It's so helpful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
It's so helpful, especially if you're somebody who has like a lot you want to do or maybe you like have kind of a scattered attention. Like it's so helpful to just to train yourself to not move to the next thing until you're done. I have people in my life who like come over to my house and again, this is not me shitting on them. I love them. But like, let's say they'll eat a protein bar.
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life hacking my way through life
They'll like go into my pantry and grab a protein bar and they'll sit and they'll eat it and then they'll put the wrapper down on the table and then they'll forget that they left it there and then they'll go do something else.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And then they'll like leave like they'll go and get a can from my like drink fridge and like drink a drink and then like forget that they had it and like leave it somewhere like they don't complete the task. by like throwing the trash away, for example, you know? Or even like when I'm in my closet, I will really make an effort to like at least once a day clean up my closet, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
I really make an effort to try to like put clothes away. Like if I try something on and I'm like, oh, I don't really like it, I try to put it away immediately. It's not always realistic. But if not that, at least put the clothes away once a day, you know? Next hack, no entertainment during the day. During the workday, nine to five,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Starting with something that everyone in my life thinks is very weird, but I think it's genius and incredibly convenient. I wear a crossbody bag probably like 18 hours a day. I am almost always wearing a crossbody bag around the house doing chores. On a walk, I mean, let me clarify.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
My life hack is no entertainment at all, even on your lunch break, okay? Now, listen, you might be like, Emma, shut the fuck up. I'm gonna watch my goddamn YouTube video on my lunch break. Listen, I get it, okay? I get it, but I have a reasoning. So let me share. There's something that happens in my experience, in the brain, when you start consuming content midday.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Like during the workday, you need to be focused, right? And you also need to tap into a different side of the brain, like more of an autopilot. I guess the mindset during the workday should be more slow and simple in a way. Or not slow and simple, but like, I don't know, most people's workdays are, they're doing tedious work for the most part, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And when you watch a video or you scroll on TikTok or you even listen to a podcast, you're you're giving yourself very stimulating entertainment. And then when you go back to the tediousness of your work, it seems even worse and it's even harder to focus. This is something that I've experienced and I do not have that tedious of a job. And even I...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
have experienced this where if I during my lunch break will watch a YouTube video when I go back to like work on podcast outlines or like respond to emails or like you know work on a project or something I'm like I don't even want to do it I just want to be done and I just want to like go back and watch more you like you just want to go back to the entertainment because it was more stimulating and everything else seems so boring so what I've started to do is during the day all I do is listen to music that's all I allow myself to do just music
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And not only has it made me more productive, but it's also made the workday more enjoyable. And I mean, I'm fortunate to have an incredibly fun and I'm in a very fortunate position with my job, but everything is relative. And even I still am like... Oh my God, I'm fucking bored. Or like, I don't want to do this right now. Like there's, you know, this is tedious. I don't want to do this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
I don't want to write this outline about this thing. Or I don't want to like sit in this meeting about like Chamberlain coffee cogs for like two hours. And this is boring. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. Like, even though I'm so fortunate, I still... So my point is, I do think saving entertainment for the end of the day can just be so helpful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And it also gives you something to look forward to. Like then at the end of the day, you can truly just unwind and like watch YouTube, you know, scroll on fucking TikTok, do whatever you want, go on Instagram, do whatever you want. But during the workday, being a bit more responsible with your attention span is good. Listen to music, read a book, but don't scroll, don't watch video.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Anything that's too stimulating, I think, is not good during the workday and it makes the workday actually harder. Another life hack that relates to the internet, except this one I've talked about a billion times. So those of you who listen to this podcast will be like, Emma, shut the fuck up. We know. But I'm going to say it anyway.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
If you are too addicted to an app, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, hey, you know what? Maybe Facebook, like whatever. If you're too addicted to an app, you got to delete it off of your main phone. Okay, your main phone, meaning the phone that's in your pocket. or next to your bed, basically the phone that's within a one foot radius of you 95% of the time, that phone, that phone is dangerous, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
If you're addicted to an app, you need to delete the app off of your main phone, okay? Can you like still have it on your computer if you only go on your computer for, you know, a few hours at the end of the day every day? Sure. You know, if you don't work on your computer, for example, yeah, it's no problem. You can have Instagram bookmarked on your computer. That's totally fine.
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life hacking my way through life
Okay, obviously when I go out to like, I don't know, go get my nails done or go to the grocery store or do this or do that, I will bring a bag and that's normal, right? Nobody's batting an eye at that. What's weird about me is that I'm wearing a cross body bag like at my house all day. You know what I'm saying? I'm not just wearing a bag when I go out for the day. No, no, no.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Because it's not something that's in your pocket all the time. If you maybe only have TikTok on your iPad, something that again, you only have access to at the end of the day, like if you even want to get a second phone, which I think it's necessary if you utilize social media for your job, which a lot of people do. I think it could be a smart investment to invest in like a work phone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
People might disagree with me and be like, that's excessive. You don't need two devices. It has saved my life. I am not kidding. I have had two phones now for a while, like probably six months, maybe even more. And one phone has only stuff that is healthy for my brain. And the other phone has all the unhealthy stuff for my brain, social media, all that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And I only use my other phone when I'm posting on social media. And I'll let myself scroll around for a little bit and check in on friends. And I will spam my friends with likes and see what they've been doing. And Maybe I'll scroll around on the explore page or stalk a few people. But majority of the time, I don't have Instagram in my pocket. I don't have TikTok in my pocket.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
I don't have YouTube in my pocket. You know, like if I want to go on YouTube, I have to pull it up on my computer or on my TV at the end of the day because it's not downloaded on my phone anymore because that's how addicted I was. Delete it off your main phone. Okay, moving on. This is so fucking random. I don't even know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
I just thought about this while I was making this list and I was like, I have to include it. If you're buying broccoli or cauliflower in particular, by the pound, okay? Be wary of the stump, okay? The base of the broccoli or the cauliflower because you're paying for that. And normally, we throw that part away. Are you picking up what I'm putting down here?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Or if you can, like break the bottom off, like break the bottom stem off of the broccoli or the cauliflower because there's a good chance you're not even eating it. Like for me, I'm sorry, I don't like the base of broccoli or cauliflower. I really only like the top. And so I'm cutting it down. I'm cutting every single inch of stem off, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
So if I'm buying broccoli by the pound and it has this massive, thick, big stock, I'm paying for that and I'm just throwing it away. Are you going to save more than $5? No. But it's an epiphany I had recently and I was like, oh my God. It is kind of funny though, because I haven't
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
bought broccoli in a while because I have sort of a food aversion to broccoli, which also has sort of led to a food aversion to cauliflower a little bit because they're a very similar vegetable. I've talked about this before, but I had a traumatic incident with broccoli where I found a snail inside of pre-cut, pre-washed broccoli and I thought I was safe. I wasn't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
And it grossed me out so bad that I've really struggled to eat broccoli and cauliflower since. Weirdly enough, I can eat it. There are certain times when it doesn't bother me. And then there are certain times when it really bothers me and I can't stop thinking about it. It's kind of illogical.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
But that's what makes this sort of an ironic piece of advice because I barely even want to buy broccoli or cauliflower right now because I've had a food aversion to it for months. But... Anywho, next. Work while you walk. I am so into trying to figure out different ways to to combine working and walking, okay? Walking is, in my opinion, one of the best forms of exercise.
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life hacking my way through life
I get home and if I'm wearing like a cute purse that's like not that comfortable, I'm I'll put everything into a crossbody bag and continue to carry my things around throughout the day. Or if I'm wearing a crossbody bag already that's comfortable and convenient, I will just keep the bag on once I get home. Do you see what I'm saying?
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life hacking my way through life
And a lot of doctors will tell you that too, okay? Walking is so good for you. And I have been trying to figure out like, how can I work and walk? I will, luckily for me, I do have a treadmill at my house. it was worth every penny, okay? Because I will walk on my treadmill and bring my little iPad with my little keyboard connected to the iPad and I'll get work done while I'm walking, okay?
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life hacking my way through life
I put the iPad on the little platform on the front of my treadmill and I'll type away on my little iPad because my laptop's too big and doesn't fit, but the iPad does fit. I will take meetings and calls on the treadmill. I will go on a walk outside.
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life hacking my way through life
If I'm like writing an outline for a podcast episode or like coming up with ideas for things or something, because a lot of my job is that for some reason. I will go on a walk and like voice note myself or not voice note, but I'll, while I'm walking, I'll take notes using Siri. Like I'll, does that make sense?
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life hacking my way through life
Like, so I'm not typing because it's very challenging to like walk in type unless you're on a treadmill because it's consistent and you're not going to trip over anything or whatever. But when I'm outside walking, I'll like take notes using Siri. Like I'll talk to her and have her type for me. and take notes. And then I clean them up when I get home, but it's so helpful.
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life hacking my way through life
Like I just, I love the walking and working concept. And so in any way I can do it, I will. And in any way you can do it, you should. Like if it just means if you work at an office and you want to take a walk around the office as you take a call, or if you have a gym membership, completing tasks while on the treadmill at the gym, bring your iPad. Like It is a vibe.
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life hacking my way through life
And you don't have to walk fast either. It's just nice to be moving. And I find that I think I'm like thinking even sharper when I'm walking because I'm not like sluggish and sitting. Anyway, I love it. Another life hack, super random. I have very short hair, like pixie length. Maybe, well, when it grows out, it's a little bit more shag like, but...
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life hacking my way through life
I like it to dry pretty flat and I found on accident that my hair dries beautifully, perfectly flat and like gorgeous if I just put on a hood while it's drying. So after I shower, I either put my hood up or I put on like a balaclava or something, anything just to have my hair flat to my head for like 10 minutes after I get it wet and it dries beautifully flat.
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life hacking my way through life
And then I can add product to it and build it up or keep it flat because sometimes that's cute. But it makes everything flat without having to use heat on it. Okay. I figured that out on accident because every day after a hot yoga, I shower and And then I put on a hoodie and sunglasses and get out of there as quickly as possible because I look absolutely hideous and beet red.
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life hacking my way through life
When I wake up in the morning, I put on a crossbody bag and I put like my phone in it and, you know, anything else I may need. Like I carry around little toothpicks and mints because I have a nicotine addiction and I'm trying not to vape. So I need to have little things. So I keep those in my bag. I'll keep like hand sanitizer in there. I'll keep chapstick, you know, I'll keep eye drops.
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life hacking my way through life
And because I was wearing the hoodie, I would take the hoodie off when I get home and I would look in the mirror and be like, my hair looks absolutely incredible. And then I let my hair dry without the pressure of the hoodie on it. One day I was like, it's hideous, my hair. I should have blow dried it. And then I was like, wait, no, I should have put a hood on or a balaclava or something.
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life hacking my way through life
to hold it down. Kind of awesome and really works. And that's it. Those are my life hacks. Were they good? I don't know. Were they obvious? Maybe to you. But they weren't obvious to me at one point. And then they became obvious to me later, which is what makes them sort of a life hack, right? Like there was a discovery process. I discovered these things and they improved my life.
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life hacking my way through life
And I inspire you to look at your own life and figure out how you can hack it. I think that's all I have to say for today. Yeah, that's it. Hey, well, thank you all for hanging out and listening. And if you enjoyed new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday, and you can find Anything Goes on social media.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
At Anything Goes, you can find me as a person on social media at Emma Chamberlain, and you can find... My coffee company at chamberlaincoffee.com or at Chamberlain Coffee. Anything Goes is available on Spotify, YouTube, and anywhere else that you stream podcasts. So if you wanna keep up with me, now you know where to find me. All right, that's it. That's it. I love you all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Talk to you very, very soon. Okay, bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
life hacking my way through life
Like I keep things in my little crossbody bag and carry them around all day. Now people think this is very odd because it's unusual to wear a bag around your house. You know, most people put things in their pockets or just go and get the items that they need when they need them. I'm sorry, that's inefficient. Okay. I always have what I need on me at all times.
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life hacking my way through life
And most of the time when I'm at home, I'm wearing pajamas, which either don't have pockets or the clothes are too loose to hold all the things that I want to hold. Like if I put my phone in my pajama short pocket, the shorts are falling down. The shorts will be on my ankles because I like loose pajamas. Do you see what I'm saying? It just, it makes sense to me. And it looks weird.
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life hacking my way through life
You know, I'm walking around my house with a bag on, with a crossbody bag. But it just makes so much sense to me. And to me, it's a life hack. And I don't know, maybe it's more common than I am aware of, but I have never met anyone else who does it. And I am deeply judged by my loved ones for doing it. I'm actually not deeply judged. I think they just are like, this is so unusual.
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life hacking my way through life
Is that even what optimization means? I don't know. I actually have to Google it, to be honest. Optimization is the action of making the best or most effective use of a situation a resource. Okay? Number three, crisis aversion and preparedness. I think we all want to be prepared for a crisis.
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life hacking my way through life
You know, you're the only person who does this. Anyways, let's move on. Number two, car underwear. you need to have a pair of underwear in your car. You just do. There's a lot of things that you need to have in your car. Like the list is quite long. I think everybody should have a hairbrush, deodorant, salt.
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life hacking my way through life
If you're somebody who likes certain foods that taste good with hot sauce or taste good with soy sauce, you should always have those condiments in the car. If you're somebody who takes pills, like supplements or anything, you should keep a backup in your car. You know, I just dropped 10 things that you should keep in your car. Life hack. But I actually think one of the... Oh, scissors.
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life hacking my way through life
Everyone should have scissors in their car. A pen. Everyone should have a pen in their car. Utensils. Napkins. Wet wipes. I mean, should I make an entire episode about what you need to keep in your car? Maybe. Actually, I don't think I need to because what you really need in your car is a pair of fucking underwear. You don't know when you're going to need them.
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life hacking my way through life
You don't know why you're going to need them, but I can almost guarantee that at some point you will. I started keeping a pair of underwear in my car when I, and this is TMI, but when I was in a phase of my life where I didn't like wearing underwear. Okay. I don't know why. I just didn't like it. And I remember one time I was going to a fitting, like a fashion fitting.
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life hacking my way through life
Like I was going to try on an outfit actually at the Louis Vuitton store. And there were tailors there and like people, stylists there helping me pick out an outfit for an event. And I realized that I had forgotten underwear. And that was a problem because most of the time Louis Vuitton would put me in some sort of dress.
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life hacking my way through life
So it's like I was frightened that either the stylist or the tailor would somehow see my vagina and that they would think it was weird because usually you would wear underwear to a fitting. I was panicked. And I don't remember what I did. I either went home. and got a pair of underwear, or I stopped at a store and got underwear on the way. But ever since then, I've had underwear in my car.
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life hacking my way through life
And recently, the underwear came in handy again because I went to yoga. And I don't wear underwear to yoga, you freak. I wear my little shorts. with no underwear, okay? And after class, my clothes are so sweaty that they're obviously completely unwearable, so even if I was wearing underwear, it wouldn't matter.
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life hacking my way through life
I was going to run errands after the class, and I wanted to look cute, and I was wearing these pants that would be really uncomfortable without underwear, and I realized that I had forgotten underwear when I was driving there and I was like, oh my God, but I have a pair on the car, threw them in my little yoga bag, brought them in after the shower at yoga, put on my little undies, no problem.
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life hacking my way through life
Close your eyes and think about a time when maybe you had food poisoning at school and you pooped a little bit. Not enough to like throw your whole pants away, but just a little bit in your underwear. How nice would it be to have a pair of underwear in your backpack at all times ready just in case you shit yourself in math class?
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life hacking my way through life
Listen, would I have been fine without underwear in that scenario? Sure, but I was so happy that I had them, okay? I don't know, you might get your period, you know, if you're a woman, okay, and you might be happy you have a pair of underwear, just trust me, okay? Keep a pair of underwear in your car.
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life hacking my way through life
Next, I think I've talked about this before, but an underrated feature of the Stanley Cup, I cannot express to you how often I use the top of my Stanley Cup as a little tray, okay? I carry around... My toothpicks, my minty toothpicks that I chew on throughout the day, I put like lip balm in there to carry around.
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life hacking my way through life
When I'm chewing on a toothpick and then I want to take it out for a second, I'll put it on the top of the Stanley cup. Like it's like a little holding place for it there. If I like want to take a little snack up to my bed, like maybe like a little cookie or something, I'll put it in the top of my Stanley cup. Oh my God. You know what I do all the time? To me, it's like a little jewelry box. Okay.
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life hacking my way through life
Well, not a box, but like a little jewelry tray. If I'm at yoga, for example, and I forgot to take my big hoops off before the class, I'll just take them off and put them in the top of my Stanley Cup in the little lid. And they'll just sit there safely all class and I can pop them on afterwards. No big deal. I use it as a little tray. I'm not being paid by Stanley. Okay, I'm just saying.
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life hacking my way through life
It's incredible. Kind of random, kind of niche, but it's genuinely like a little life hack that I utilize on a daily basis. And it actually is helpful. Like there's probably more examples that I can't even remember of ways that I use the top of the Stanley Cup. It's very efficient. Okay, my next life hack kind of changed my life, okay? So I have to take a pill or a few pills
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life hacking my way through life
every morning and every evening with food, okay? Because I have PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome, I think, or ovary syndrome. It's a hormonal thing, okay? It's no big deal, but I do take medication for it twice a day. And I've been taking it now for like probably a year or two. And in the beginning, it was so new. And I hadn't ever really taken something twice a day like that before.
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life hacking my way through life
Like indefinitely in the past, it's been like, oh, I need to take... this medication for like a week and then I'm done. And there's like only a certain amount of pills. I got like 10 pills and I have to take the 10 pills over the next week and then it's done and then whatever. It's always been easier to organize.
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life hacking my way through life
This is the first time where it's like, okay, I'm just taking these pills every single day, twice a day, and I have to remember to do that. And in the beginning, it was sort of easy because it was new and it was always like, oh shit, I have to take it again. And then it became such a routine that I started to forget like midday, like, wait, did I take my pills this morning?
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life hacking my way through life
Or like in the evening, I'd be like, wait, did I take my pill? So I created my own little mini calendar that I make every single month on a post-it note. Okay. So I take a little post-it note and I take like a ruler and And I draw sort of a grid. Okay. One column is the date. The next column is morning. And the next column is night.
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life hacking my way through life
It'd be really nice because moments that are traumatic like shitting yourself in math class become less traumatic when you're prepared. What about when you're going on a road trip and you realize, oh, fuck. I forgot my phone charger. Oh wait, no problem. I always have an extra phone charger in my car. Do you understand what I'm saying? Being prepared is important to me.
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life hacking my way through life
And so basically, I just do a little X in the morning when I take it and a little X at night when I take it. And I'm very strict about making sure that I mark the X correctly. every single time I take it.
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life hacking my way through life
If I have to take the pill when I'm not home, okay, I will basically give myself one daily dose in a container for that day, and then I use that container only to know whether or not I've taken the pills. Does that make sense? So then when I get home, I can check the pill container and be like, oh, I did take the morning dose, and then I'll exit immediately when I get home.
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life hacking my way through life
This is how I make sure that I don't forget or I don't take a double dose on accident. And it has changed my life because it was really starting to stress me out. I can't tell you, I have such severe health anxiety.
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life hacking my way through life
And every single time I would get confused about whether or not I had taken the pills, I would fully have a panic attack because I was like, oh my God, what if I don't take it and it fucks with me? Or what if I took too much and that fucks with me? And then I would start to... convince myself that I was feeling sick or dizzy or weird.
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life hacking my way through life
And it was just, it wasn't just like, Oh no, I'm, you know, not taking my medication that I'm supposed to take. It was like also causing me to have a panic attack. So it was a fucking nightmare. The little customized pill calendar truly, truly has changed the game for me. And there's something kind of satisfying about making it like I make it myself and you know, every month.
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life hacking my way through life
And it's this like beautifully made little calendar on a post-it note. I don't know. And I like stick it to my counter and I leave my little pen out and it's always there. And I don't know. I like making the little thing. It like is kind of a fun little activity to make it. It's kind of satisfying. Putting X's in the boxes is sort of satisfying. It's overall a good experience.
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my red carpet routine, explained
In honor of the Met Gala tomorrow, I'm going to be sharing with you all my red carpet routine, okay? And here's the thing, right? There's already bits and pieces of my red carpet routine out there on the internet. If you wanted to find it, you could. But I've never sat down and dedicated like an hour to describing it in unnecessary detail. So that's what I'm going to be doing today.
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my red carpet routine, explained
One year, I think it was last year actually, last year, I went out like two nights in a row before the Met Gala because there was a birthday party and then there was like a bunch of other events and I don't really go out a lot. So I was like, I should probably, you know, like be social and do the thing. And I completely lost my voice. And I was absolutely terrified because...
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my red carpet routine, explained
I had to do interviews on the red carpet a few days from then. And I had no voice. So it was a nightmare. I was so terrified. Even the day of the Met, I woke up and my voice was kind of spotty. By the time I was doing the interviews, it was totally fine. But it was one of the scariest... moments of my career thus far.
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my red carpet routine, explained
And so I just kind of made a rule after that, like no more going out before a red carpet. Also, I mean, I don't drink anymore. And I haven't drank in many, many months. I'm very much sober. But I used to drink before the carpet. And like that also, I don't know, just like my immune system would be down. Sometimes you can see a hangover on the face. I don't know.
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my red carpet routine, explained
It just like didn't make me feel my best. And there's something about a red carpet. Like you do want to feel your best. There's a lot of people taking photos of you. You know, you're seeing people that you know that you don't see all the time. It's like, I want to feel good. I want to look my best. Why not? You know, why not? Right? I look like shit a lot.
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my red carpet routine, explained
No, picking out the outfit is the most time consuming part because the thing about a red carpet is that one of the like one of the. key characteristics of it is that it's a formal event. There are rarely red carpets that aren't formal. So you can't just go in your closet and pick out your favorite little outfit. Like you need to be dressed to the nines, of course.
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my red carpet routine, explained
I look and feel like shit a decent amount. And I'm normally not too worried about it. But this is like the one time where I'm really going to put the effort in so that I look and feel good. I also definitely do a bit of extra skincare stuff. Like my skincare routine for the most part is pretty standard. I've had little phases of using different devices.
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my red carpet routine, explained
Like I was using a microcurrent tool on my face for a while there. I was using LED masks for a while there. I'm kind of out of the routine of using those things except for when a red carpet event is coming up. I step up the skincare routine. I add a few steps and You know, I'm like doing face masks. I'm like using the microcurrent tool. I'm like using the LED mask. I'm doing these things.
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my red carpet routine, explained
And I really don't think that they do that much, but it's more of a mental thing. And maybe it makes a tiny difference. Who knows? But it's more about feeling prepared. It's probably more mental preparation than it even is like physical preparation. It just feels good to be like, you know what? If my skin looks dehydrated on this carpet, it's not my fault. I did everything I could.
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my red carpet routine, explained
You know what I mean? If I have acne on this carpet, it's not my fault. I did everything I could. You know what I'm saying? It's like covering your bases so that you don't have any regrets. That's sort of why I do that. And then we have the appointments, okay? There's definitely quite a few appointments that get scheduled right before the carpet. Number one, haircut and color, okay?
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my red carpet routine, explained
This is crucial. This is crucial. Unless, okay, unless we're doing some sort of updo and I have long hair... then it doesn't really matter. But I think we underestimate... Actually, I shouldn't say we. I think I underestimate... In the past, I've underestimated how impactful a good cut and color can be.
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my red carpet routine, explained
And ideally, I'm getting that done as close to the carpet as possible so that it looks as fresh as possible. And for me right now, my haircut and color experience is very time consuming because I have platinum, platinum bleach blonde hair, as platinum as you could possibly go. And I have a very particular sort of pixie haircut. So both appointments, cut and color, take a long time.
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my red carpet routine, explained
In total, it's like sometimes six, seven hours in total for everything. And I really have a hard time with the cut and color appointment, to be honest. It's really long. It's really long. You know, like every time I go blonde, I'm reminded how much work it is to be blonde. Sitting in that chair for four hours minimum every six weeks. Yeah. I get to a point where I can't handle it anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Like I have a feeling I'm going to go back to Brown soon, but maybe not. I don't know. I don't know. I don't trust myself. I'm all over the place with my hair. But anyway, so the hair appointment as close to the carpet as possible. I always, almost always get a fancy facial from a particular facialist. He goes by the beauty sandwich on Instagram and he,
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my red carpet routine, explained
He does these like, I actually, I'm going to describe it incorrectly. I still to this day have no idea what he does. I'm not even kidding. I show up to this man a few days before the carpet or sometimes the day of the carpet, but usually a few days before. I show up to this man, this facialist, And I lay down and he just does something. And I don't know what he's doing.
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my red carpet routine, explained
Okay, he has like all these tools, like hot rod, like warm rods that he rubs on my face. He has all these serums. He has his own serums that he makes that I actually use every night. And I'm obsessed with his serums. But anyways, not sponsored. And the serum is expensive, but it is unbelievable. Anyways, he's rubbing all these serums on me.
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my red carpet routine, explained
He's using some sort of electromagnetic sort of looking, feeling tool. I have no clue what's happening. But all I know is that after the facial, my face looks lifted. I would love to say that I'm above these things. I would love to say, I don't need the lifting facial. I don't want the lifting facial. I am who I am. I'm going to show up as I am. I would love to say that.
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my red carpet routine, explained
And the process of finding an outfit is I think a bit more complicated than people would expect. Because again, it's not like, oh, I'm going shopping, right? Like, oh, I'm going shopping and I'm going to pick out a gown and I'm going to buy it and then I'm going to wear it. Instead, it's a process of figuring out what brands want to loan out a fancy look for a red carpet.
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my red carpet routine, explained
No, I want the lifting facial. And I'm going to get it. And I almost always do. The only time I don't get it is if there's some sort of schedule conflict between us, like we can't find a time. But whenever I can, which is most of the time, I go to him. And then we have the nail appointment. And... This kind of varies.
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my red carpet routine, explained
If I'm in Los Angeles, if the event is in Los Angeles, I'm going to go to the nail salon. I'll go to my local nail salon that I always go to, that I love, and just get a manicure there. I do anyway. You know what I mean? But if I'm traveling... We tend to do a bit more of a fancy ordeal. And I'll hire a nail tech to come to the room, to the hotel room. And we'll do a little mani-pedi there.
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my red carpet routine, explained
And I used to always do like super long, super dramatic nails. But recently, I'm like really loving the short nails. I originally got the short nails because I'm learning how to play guitar. But then I was like... These are great for more than just that reason. Like, yeah, it's great because I can play guitar, but also I have a gel kit at my house. I can do my own gel nails.
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my red carpet routine, explained
You know, like if I really don't have time to go to the salon, I can just do them myself. I can't do extensions on my nails. Absolutely not. I could probably teach myself, but I'd probably end up getting some sort of like... infection. I don't know. I feel like if I did that for myself, I would get an infection. I don't know how, but I would. Anyway, I'm loving the short nails. So I don't know.
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my red carpet routine, explained
I don't know. Like, I don't even know what my Met nails are going to be. I'm gonna have to talk to Jared. Are we going to do short nails? I'm kind of into the short nails. I mean, it's just, it's obviously easier, but also I do think that they look chic. And they are ultimately the most timeless. But I don't know. Anyway, we'll see.
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my red carpet routine, explained
A lot of times for events, at least in the past, the nails that we've done have been extensions and they've been incredibly complicated. So instead of, you know, having the nail tech come and do the full set from start to finish on my hands, a lot of times we'll have the nail techs make the nails first on a fake nail and then just come in the day before or the day of and glue them on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
So it's easier. I actually learned to do it this way because the first year I went to the Met Gala, which honestly might have been my first red carpet, the nail tech came and did my nails from start to finish the night before the Met Gala and it took like six hours and it was miserable. It was like... It was so long. And after that, I was like, that can't be the most efficient way for anyone.
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my red carpet routine, explained
Like it can't be efficient for her because she's like, you know, having to work with my hand instead of being able to like move it. Like if you're painting on like just like a fake nail that's not attached to a body, you know, you can move it around. You can like... look at it really close. I don't know. It just is more efficient. I was like, there's no way that this is the most efficient way.
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my red carpet routine, explained
Anyway, it turns out it wasn't. And so it became a rule after that, that if we're doing a complicated nail, have the nail tech make the nails and then come in and just glue them on. Already done. Although now that my nails are short and natural, I don't know what we're gonna do. Maybe we'll, I guess we'll just do the design on the nail day, but I don't know what I'm gonna do for nails.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Anyways, in the days leading up to the event, I feel like there's a lot of things that I don't do that people would assume I would do. For example, tanning bed or spray tan. As I mentioned earlier, I'm avoiding the sun, okay? So a tanning bed is definitely not gonna happen. Also, tanning beds are bad for you and I'm really trying to avoid things that are bad for me.
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my red carpet routine, explained
I don't avoid all things that are bad for me, okay? I'm not a saint here, all right? But I can resist a tanning bed. I used to lay in tanning beds. Yeah, fun fact about me, if you didn't know that, for like one summer when I was like 19, I used to go in the tanning bed. I was really, really tan that summer. It was kind of unbelievable.
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my red carpet routine, explained
And most people are like, I don't want to do that myself. So they have a stylist do it. My best friend slash stylist, Jared, is the one who does this for me. And so the process starts like two months before the carpet. And he could speak to this process better than I could.
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my red carpet routine, explained
I really pushed my body to the limits, but I don't do that anymore. That was only one summer and it was kind of dark, but I feel like every... you know, girl in their late teens, early twenties has to have a tanning bed phase. Actually, I shouldn't even say that. Don't have a tanning bed phase. Nothing about it is good. Okay. It's bad for you. And it like, I don't know. It's just like dark.
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my red carpet routine, explained
Like, don't do it. Come on. But I also don't do a spray tan. And I don't do a spray tan sort of for a similar reason that I don't go out in the sun. Like in the same way that I fear a sunburn on the carpet, I fear a splotchy spray tan. Now listen, there are a lot of really talented spray tan artists, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Usually a spray tan gets splotchy or weird because of user error, meaning like the person who got the spray tan didn't follow the post care after care directions, you know, and like dripped water on it or whatever. showered too late or whatever. Like there are certain instructions for after a spray tan, how to make sure that the spray tan looks good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And if you don't follow those instructions, it can get splotchy. It can get too dark. It could be too light, a nightmare. So guess what? I don't do a spray tan. Okay. Now, the reason why people would want to do a spray tan for a red carpet is because a lot of times red carpet photography is really overexposed and it can really wash you out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
So a lot of people get spray tans for red carpets, not because... you know, they like want to look tan, but instead so that they look actually more normal on the carpet. You know what I'm saying? Like instead of looking super washed out, they actually look the way that they do in real life to the naked eye. It's not all about like looking super sun-kissed, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
It can also be about avoiding being washed out. But it's just too much of a risk. Like it gives me too much anxiety that I'm going to mess up the spray tan and then look absolutely... flaky and weird on the carpet. It's just, it's not worth it. Or like if it comes out a bit orange, like this is just truly my nightmare. So I also don't whiten my teeth. And you know what?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
But from what I understand, the process starts with him sort of reaching out to different brands that I like, that he likes, and asking, hey, would you be down to dress my client, Miss Emma? And then they either respond, sure. Like, do you want something from the new collection? Do you want something custom? Or they say, absolutely not. We hate her and she's hideous, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
A lot of people think that I should. Actually, I haven't gotten comments like that recently. I see it so many comments about my teeth being yellow, which I don't whiten my teeth at all. So it's not false. Like my teeth are not perfectly pearly white. You know, I have a bit of stains on my teeth. Hello, I have a coffee company.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
If I didn't have stains on my teeth, I would be a bad coffee company founder. Like, are you kidding? This actually should prove to you how dedicated I am to my brand, that my teeth are permanently stained. Well, maybe not permanently. Maybe it could come out. But they're stained because I love what my brand sells so much. You know, like, come on, ambassador of the year.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Like, seriously, I don't whiten my teeth because I have sensitive teeth and I have receding gums. And I feel like whitening teeth, like I've heard it's just kind of irritating to the gums and to the teeth. And so I've just never done it. But also, the way that I pose on a red carpet, which is so cringe, to even me. Like, I... Well, it's cringe, but it is what it is. Maybe it's not cringe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Maybe it's more just like, oh... Well, it is kind of cringe. The way that I tend to pose on the red carpet doesn't involve smiling. I actually refuse to smile. So it doesn't even matter if my teeth are whitened because I'm like making a very serious face. Okay, moving on. I don't do anything to my eyelashes or to my eyebrows. I don't get my eyebrows plucked. I don't get eyelash extensions.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
I don't get a lash lift. I don't even know what a lash lift is. How do they even do that? It's kind of frightening. I used to get my eyebrows done. But I stopped because I actually really love the natural shape of my eyebrows, and I really love the sort of chaotic nature of them. Like, it's not everyone's taste, my eyebrows.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Like, sometimes I get compliments on them, like, wow, you have incredible eyebrows. And then sometimes people are like, are you going to pluck those ever? Nobody actually ever says that to my face, but I do get comments like that sometimes. I think it's being revealed that I read my comments. Maybe I should stop doing that. I actually do...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Try not to read the comments too much because it does fuck with my head. But I see things. And sometimes I see things about my eyebrows being unkempt. But I actually like the look. I really do. So I leave them. And then when it comes to my eyelashes, I have severe health anxiety.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And the idea of anything happening to my eyes, like any damage happening to my eyes, the fear of something happening to my eyes in particular keeps me up at night. Like I have such bad health anxiety.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
I'll be laying in bed and all of a sudden my eyes will shoot open and I'll think about, I don't know, like a knife going through my, like, sorry, it's really graphic, but like I have like intrusive thoughts about eye injuries. Like I'm so afraid of eye injuries. And so going and getting a lash lift, whatever that even is, however that even works, going and getting eyelash extensions, no thanks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
I don't need anything that close to my eyes. I'm all good. But weirdly enough, when I get my makeup done and we put on false lashes, that stuff doesn't bother me. But things that feel sort of permanent, semi-permanent, like lash extensions, absolutely not. Also specifically with eyelash extensions, I actually don't like how they look on me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
I've obviously experimented with false lashes before, so I know what eyelash extensions would look like. I've never had them before, but I can assume. And I don't think I would like it because I really don't even like false lashes very much. So it just doesn't really make any sense. I also don't get any Botox or any filler. This is just not something that I do. It's just not.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
No invasive treatments. Like the most invasive thing I do is get that facial that's not invasive at all. It's just, I don't even know what he's doing. I still don't know what he's doing. Maybe he's doing something very invasive and I have no clue. No, he's not. There's like electromagnetic currents or something. There's currents going through. I don't know. I don't know what's happening.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And she sucks and we hate her work and we think she's annoying and she sucks. No, I'm kidding. But they're probably thinking that when they say no. And so then from there, it's like, OK, what are they down to do? You know, are they going to let us basically rent something from the runway or are they going to make us a brand new custom sort of look?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
It's none of my business anyway. It really isn't. I don't care. It's none of my business. I'm showing up and saying, snatch my face, make my face look lifted and snatched. And then he puts his magic wand on my face. And then I leave and, you know, I look six months younger, maybe even a year. And I'm not complaining. But I don't do any filler, any Botox, no lip flip, no, you know, none of it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
None of it. Still to this day, none of it. And last but not least, I don't have any specific workout routine or diet routine. Like I remember watching an interview maybe a few years ago about the Victoria's Secret models before they do the Victoria's Secret fashion show and how they like stop eating solid food. A few days before the show. So toxic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
I remember when I first started going to red carpets, I was like, should I be like doing that? Like, should I? Should I do stuff like that? And luckily, I know I don't do that. OK, nothing changes. I'm not even kidding. I mean, the only thing that changes about my diet is that. The day before the event, I eat foods that I know agree with me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Like I'm not going to eat foods that give me gas or mess with my digestive system because the next day I'm going to be wearing something probably tight, probably uncomfortable. Um, I'm probably not going to be able to go to the bathroom whenever I want in this gown.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
So I'm very thoughtful about what I eat, but not from like a health perspective, not from like a nutritional perspective, literally just from like a, is this going to hurt my stomach? Yes or no. Yeah, but I don't have like any sort of like, well, a week before the red carpet, I do 4,000 sit-ups a day. No, fuck that. That's where I draw the line. Okay, now let's discuss the day of the event, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Everything's usually pretty normal up until the afternoon. I wake up. you know, maybe I exercise, I have breakfast, which is usually something high protein and really filling because a lot of times on the days of red carpets, I just, I don't have time to eat or I'm too scared to eat and that it'll push a poop through me and I won't be able to poop because I'm in a gown.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And usually in these gowns, I can't go to the bathroom. So I like to eat something dense and filling in the morning so that I'm kind of like good for the rest of the day. You know, I can like snack and whatever, but I'm not like starving and trying to figure out what to do when I'm in a gown and I can't go to the bathroom.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Like when I eat, a lot of times when I eat, it makes me have to go to the bathroom. Sorry, TMI, but like... It's true. So I'm not going to eat a full meal in my gown that I can't take off, that I can't go to the bathroom in. Because there's a good chance that I might have to go to the bathroom. So I'm eating a really high protein filling breakfast.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And then usually in the morning before an event, I'll get a lymphatic massage. Now this doesn't always happen. It doesn't always work out. Sometimes I skip it, but a lot of times I'll do it, especially for the Met, just because I feel like the Met, it's such a special event that I like to do all the pampering. You know what I mean? I really like to do all of it. So the lymphatic massage is,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
is a very unique form of massage if you're unfamiliar with it. I'm going to Google what it is so that I can... Okay. According to Google, a lymphatic drainage massage, also known as a manual lymphatic drainage, is a gentle massage technique that encourages the flow of lymph fluid, which helps remove waste and toxins from the body and can reduce swelling.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And then as those offers start to come in, Jared and I are discussing, we're plotting, you know, and we're trying to figure out what sort of generic direction we want to go in. And so a lot of times we'll make mood boards, we'll send them to each other and just start to figure out like what kind of vibe we're going for. Like, do we want something that feels, you know, kind of edgy?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
I will say the lymphatic massage feels so good. Like the massage itself feels so good. Usually somebody will come to my hotel room and set up the table and do the massage in my room. And it's just unbelievable. One of the women who does the lymphatic for me, who I've worked with many times, she plays acoustic versions of pop music, like soft acoustic versions of pop music. So it'll be like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
A soft, female, acoustic version of Shape of You by Ed Sheeran. Meanwhile, this woman is absolutely just massaging the fuck out of my leg. You know, the definition of lymphatic massage says gentle massage. I tell my masseuse to go hard. And so she does. I want to feel really cleansed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
So anyway, they massage certain areas of the body and they do it in a certain sort of pattern to help with, I don't know, like helping the lymph nodes process fluid and toxins. I still don't really know how it works. But I will say this. after the massage, I feel relaxed. I feel refreshed weirdly. And I do feel sort of cleansed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And I don't know from a technical standpoint, like if my body's actually being cleansed, but I will say I always have to pee after the massage. Sometimes I have to do more. It makes me have to go to the bathroom. So I always go to the bathroom and I always just feel lighter and just... I don't know how to explain it, but it just feels really good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And especially for the Met, I'm on my feet all day. It's like, it's just nice to feel refreshed. After that, we're doing an everything shower, okay? There's a bunch of oil on me from the lymphatic massage. I'm hopping in that shower and we are checking every box, okay? Starting with a rigorous shampoo, a rigorous condition. If my hair is bleached at the time, we're using purple shampoo.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
We're letting it sit on the hair. We're getting that blonde as blonde as possible. All right, we're shaving everything, the entire body. Usually the everything shower for me. is not really an everything shower because I skip a few spots. I'll often not shave my thighs. The hair on my thighs is blonde. I'm like, eh. Sometimes I'll skip the bikini. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
An everything shower for me doesn't always have to include shaving the whole body. But if it's a red carpet, we're shaving the whole body. Even if, even if my gown is not revealing, I will still do an everything shower and shave everything because it just feels good. I just feel refreshed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
I exfoliate my entire body, but I do it gently because the last thing I want is to rub too hard and create like red spots on my body that will then be visible on the carpet. We put body makeup on me, but body makeup only goes so far. And so I'm very gentle with the exfoliating, but I do think exfoliating when done properly and not too hard can kind of give a bit of a glow to the skin.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And then I get out of the shower and I am slathering my body in moisture. Okay. All over the body, body oil. Yum. Particularly like a yummy tropical smelling body oil. That's what I want. Like I want something that smells like coconuts. That's what I want. I love the Sol de Janeiro one. Yeah. The Sol de Janeiro boom boom oil or something. Holy fuck. That smells so good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Maybe we want like leather and metal or maybe we want something super ethereal. So we're like, you know, putting together mood boards with stuff that's a bit softer. We just start to get a generic vision going. simultaneously the brands are figuring out what they're down to do with us.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
I've probably bought 10 bottles of that. Okay. Rub that absolutely everywhere. Okay. Okay, I'm doing moisturizer on the face. I'm doing oil on the face. I'm putting leave-in conditioner in the hair. I might put a little bit of oil in the hair. Like I'm just getting hydrated because I found that it just makes everything look, like moisture makes everything look better.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Like it goes a long way being moisturized. It just makes you reflective almost on the carpet, right? After the shower, we're nearing glam, okay? At any point after the shower, glam could be showing up, okay? This means at least hair and makeup in Jared, but sometimes also nails, okay? And usually this is happening in my hotel room, although if I'm in Los Angeles, it's...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
either happening at my house or at a hotel room or at maybe my hairstylist's house or my makeup artist's house. It just depends. Whatever makes the most sense. So I guess there's a chance that I could be going to them. Anyway, now let's discuss glam, okay? Usually it takes around two and a half hours. If we're doing...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
really intense hair, like a bunch of extensions or a wig, which I've actually never done a wig for a carpet, but if we were going to do a wig, that might take a bit longer. It depends, it depends. But usually it takes two and a half hours, sometimes three. And I like to take my time, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
We will usually give ourselves like three and a half hours for glam because I'm friends with these people, right? Like my hair and makeup team, you know, my nail artist, my stylist, Jared, like we're all friends. And so we do tend to shoot the shit a lot. So I don't know, like we don't want to feel rushed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
We want to enjoy, we want to gossip, you know, like I also like to have time for like my makeup artist to give me a little massage on the face. Like, I don't know, like there's little things that end up taking up a lot of time. And so I set a decent amount of time to do glam. a lot of times we've already discussed what we're doing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
So on the day of the event, everyone just shows up and we already know what to do. You know, we had been talking about this look for months. So the day of it's like, we're just executing. We already know there's no decisions to be made.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
I mean, as the look is being created on the face, sometimes we'll have random spur of the moment ideas, but it's not like we're under pressure to like create a look because we already have a look figured out. Yeah. And so a lot of times it's just hanging out. And at this point, I'm usually having my last sips of liquid. Why?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And here's the other thing. If you were to Google red carpet routine and click on the very first Google result that came up, there's a really good chance that you would find a routine that is exactly like mine. Okay? Everybody's red carpet routine is, for the most part, the same. It consists of facials and fittings and getting a haircut. It's like... It can only get so interesting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Because as I mentioned earlier, I usually can't go to the bathroom in my gown. No. Once that gown is on me, usually I won't be able to go to the bathroom again for the rest of the evening. Yeah, I know it's ridiculous, but it is what it is. So usually I'm having like one final coffee and like some water with electrolytes in it. And that's gonna be it for the next like six hours.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
So it's like kind of this uncomfortable dance where we're like, Jared and I are sort of figuring out what we want to do while simultaneously the brands are figuring out what they want to do. And then everyone's just crossing their fingers that we all agree on something. And so a lot of times brands will be like, you know, we have some options from the runway to,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
So after a few hours, glam is done. I've had my last sips of liquid. I go and I sit on the toilet, okay? I go and I sit on the toilet for as long as I possibly can just to make sure that I'm good. Because after that toilet break, I'm putting on my look, okay? I'm putting that gown on. And once that thing is on, it's not coming off.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And I get anxious when I'm about to put on the gown because I'm like, oh my God, I feel trapped. I'm about to be trapped in this thing for the next, you know, six hours. And I will not be able to go to the bathroom. So... Then I put on the look, which sometimes can take up to like 30 minutes, depending on what kind of look it is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
If the look is like corseted, you know, we're lacing up the corset perfectly. Well, I'm not, but Jared is lacing up the corset. You know, if there's like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
certain elements that need to be tied or you know certain elements that need to be sewn on sometimes that happens where it's like okay we need to sew this gown into place on me and the only way to then get it off is to like cut it off like these things happen okay and so it can take up to 30 minutes to get dressed. After that, usually we realize that we're a little bit late.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Like even though we set four hours for glam and you know, 30 minutes for, for getting dressed, shit just happens. And majority of the time by this point, we're feeling rushed. We're like, okay, I'm supposed to be out of the house at 6 PM or Emma's supposed to be out of the house at 3 PM or Emma's supposed to be out of the house at 8 PM. But, but it,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Time has slipped away and now we have 15 minutes and we still have more things to do. And one of the things that I have to do is stand in the mirror with Jared and practice my poses. This is something I'm embarrassed to admit. I shouldn't be admitting this publicly. I will probably be shamed for this. But let me explain. Let me redeem myself in your eyes, okay? Here's why I practice my poses.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Because, as you can understand by now, the amount of work that went into this red carpet look is... significant, right? A bunch of people have put their hearts into this look. You know, the glam team put their art on my body. The designer of the piece that I'm wearing put their art on my body. Jared, you know, the clothes that I'm wearing is also in a way his art.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
It's all everyone's art, you know? And I want to make sure that when I walk on this red carpet, I am a good canvas. You know, I display everyone's art well. That's why I practice the poses, because I want to make sure that I am showcasing every detail in a pose. You know what I'm saying? And so Jared and I will stand in the mirror for like 10 minutes and figure out how to pose.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And I'll usually figure out like two or three and get them really solid. And then I just repeat them over and over again on the red carpet because I know that they work. Okay, and after that, it's time to take photos. A lot of times, well, not only do I want photos, you know, to document the moment, but a lot of times the brand who... Design the dress will want professional photos done.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
If I'm working with a jewelry company, if I'm working with a makeup company, they want photos as well. So sometimes we'll have a professional photographer come. Other times I'll make my loved ones do it. Okay. My mom has shot red carpet photos for me before. My dad, my stylist, Jared, like my hairstylist, Sammy, like everybody's taken these photos for me before.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
pick your favorite and we'll let you know if it's available. A lot of times it's not. Maybe it got purchased, whatever. So then we have to like narrow it down. And then sometimes it doesn't work out. And then it's like, okay, maybe we go source something vintage. And so Jared goes into these vintage warehouses somewhere.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And honestly, they turn out incredible. You know, everybody involved in this is creative. And so if we don't have a professional photographer hired, it's no problem. We'll take them ourselves on my little Canon G7X camera with flash usually, because that's what really just looks good. After taking photos, everybody does touch-ups, and then it's time to get in the car.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Now, oftentimes, I can't sit in my gown, either because it will crease it or because it's physically impossible because there's, like, boning in it. A lot of times, I can't sit in my gown. So usually, I have to rent some sort of van or truck, something... Not a truck. I've never rented a truck. Can you imagine I like rent a U-Haul and like standing in the back of the U-Haul? Kind of cool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And then the U-Haul opens and it's me at the carpet. That's kind of a cool idea. No, but I usually have to rent some sort of like van or large vehicle that I can stand in because I can't sit in my look. It's very extra. So I'll get in the car, standing, and I'll go to the event. And then that's it. Oh, like before I go on the red carpet, I fix my lip liner probably 10 times. But that's it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
That's my red carpet routine. I will say there are some things that I don't do the day of that people would assume I do. Number one, drink alcohol. Nope. Number one, I'm sober to begin with. But number two, when I drink, I get a little lazy eye, just a little. My left eye, I think, I think it's my left eye, just starts to wander a bit. And that's not cute.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
So even when I wasn't sober, I didn't really drink before the red carpet. Even though it would be nice to calm the nerves a bit, not worth it. But now I'm sober anyway. So I don't even, it's not even an option anymore. I also don't take beta blockers, okay? If you don't know what a beta blocker is, it's some sort of,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
prescription drug that you can get that basically makes you not feel nervous anymore. I think it blocks your adrenaline producers or something. Can I Google that? Beta blockers, also known as beta adrenergic blockers, are a class of medications that block the effects of adrenaline and noradrenaline on the body.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
So basically, it makes you not nervous, which would kind of be incredible for me when I do the red carpet interviews at the Met, because even though I don't get that nervous, but it would be kind of awesome to feel no adrenaline at all. I would be so funny. I'd be so much funnier. I can't have a sense of humor when I'm kind of nervous. I just like I'm not funny.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
I don't even know where, probably for a reason, probably because they think I would steal things, which I probably would. And Jared, you know, will pick out vintage gowns perhaps. And then, you know, He sends me photos and we go from there. If the brand offers to do a custom look, this is fun. It's definitely more work on everyone's end, but it's pretty fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
I'm not funny to begin with, but then I'm really not funny when I'm kind of nervous. So no beta blockers for me. But it is sort of a common thing. A lot of people take beta blockers, whether they're doing a speech or they're getting interviewed or they're doing a red carpet. Like it's just kind of a common thing. And last but not least, I don't use foot numbing spray.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And I really need to start because every single time I wear heels, I'm miserable. And there are things that help make it easier. Foot numbing spray being a great example. But for some reason, I always forget. And so I never do it. Maybe I'll start. Maybe that's something I need to add into my routine because it's not in my routine now. And I do not think it's helping.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
I don't think it's good that that's not a part of my routine. But that's it. Okay. That's my red carpet routine. Listen, it's nothing special, but it is mine. And perhaps that's what's special about it. Okay. That's it. I'm kind of hungry. Like I have to wrap this up because I need to go eat. In fact, I actually took a break while recording this episode and I had some popcorn. So yeah.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
But anyway, I love you all. I appreciate you all. I hope that you enjoyed this episode. And if you did, new episodes every Thursday and Sunday. Come hang out. Find Anything Goes anywhere you stream podcasts and watch on Spotify and YouTube. And find Anything Goes on social media at Anything Goes. And find me on social media and everywhere on the internet at Emma Chamberlain.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And find my coffee company at ChamberlainCoffee.com or at Chamberlain Coffee or just Chamberlain Coffee anywhere that you might be able to find Chamberlain Coffee. That's all I have for today. Thank you all for listening. Thank you all for hanging out. As always, it's a joy. It's a pleasure. And I just am grateful I get to spend time with you. Okay, I love you all. And talk to you later. And bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Then we start having calls, trying to get on the same page. And then, you know, the brand needs to take my measurements. So sometimes they'll send somebody out to take my measurements. Sometimes they'll make a mannequin that's like my body so that they can make the dress on a mannequin that's based on my measurements. Kind of awesome. Kind of cool. Kind of extra.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
but definitely effective and saves a lot of time, especially if the brand is not based in the United States. And doing a fitting would be virtually impossible because one of us would have to fly 11 hours to get to the other. And so, yeah, a lot of this is starting months ahead because there's a lot of communication, there's a lot of teams involved, and there's a lot of...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
work to get on the same page and make sure everybody's happy, right? And once we get a really solid idea of what I'm wearing, we start talking to the glam team, okay? Hair and makeup, nails, everyone about what we're thinking. We send pictures of the gown. We send reference images from usually Pinterest. of makeup that we like and say, you know, this is what we're thinking.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
But the beauty of the glam team, you know, hair, makeup, nails, is that they have their own ideas. So then from there, they're like, this is cool, but we need to make it different because if we're just copying Pinterest, like that's not fun. You know what I mean? Like, how are we going to make this feel new? And so they brainstorm and they come up with even more developed ideas, send them back.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And it becomes one massive conversation between like sometimes up to like 50 people. It's kind of ridiculous to be honest, but there's so many people involved. And luckily for me, like I love all these people. It's like fun, you know? I love my stylist. I love my hair and makeup team. You know, like everybody is like... family. It's fun. And it feels like we're playing dress up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
So all these conversations are happening like months before the event. Let's fast forward to 72 hours before the event, because that's when things really start to pick back up. To start, if I'm traveling for a red carpet event, 72 hours before I have to be in the city where the event is happening. This is mandatory for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And I know it might sound like a diva move, like I have to be in the city for 72 hours before the event, but I actually do because I am convinced, and this might sound kind of toxic, but I am convinced that that you can see in my face and body everywhere. You can see when I've been on a plane. Like you can tell.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And if I do a red carpet, like immediately after getting off of a plane, I will look terrible, to be honest. And I say terrible because I won't even look like myself. My body reacts terribly to a plane. After a plane ride, my dark circles under my eyes have never been darker. I'm puffy all over my body, face, whatever, puffy. I'm like bloated. I have gas. My stomach hurts. I look wrinkly and dry.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Like everything about me looks 10 times worse than normal. And listen, my thing is that's not even what I look like. Do you know what I'm saying? What I look like when I'm not traveling is what I look like. I never look the way that I do after a plane ride any other time. The plane is what makes me look like that. So to me, I'm not walking down a red carpet looking like I just got off a plane.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
So again, like nothing I'm going to share with you today is going to shock you. I'm not going to tell you today that I get bird feces injected into my under eyes before the carpet because it makes me look 10 years younger. If I was 10 years younger, I would look 13. But honestly, that's kind of the beauty standard, to look as young as possible and to have the least amount of wrinkles possible.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
You can see it way too much. So it is an absolute rule that... I must do the traveling at least 72 hours before. Ideally, like even a week before. Why not? But at least 72 hours before. So that travel's happening. And I would love to say that, you know, when I'm traveling for a red carpet event, I have some sort of airplane routine that's special. I don't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
I've seen the videos of people doing their full skin care, hair care, everything routine on the plane, you know, putting their hair in rollers, doing the face masks. I've seen it. I wish I was like that. But I'm sorry. It's just to me, it's unrealistic. Doing a sheet mask on the plane. Are you kidding me? You're going to get serum and like wet, you know, like the sheet masks are like wet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
The idea of doing that on a plane is a nightmare to me, okay? The serum's gonna drip onto my shirt and then I'm stuck wearing that shirt for the rest of the flight. I have a pixie now, so I can't really do anything with my hair. There's literally nothing to do with that. But yeah, it just sounds like a nightmare to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And listen, maybe this is why I look so horrible after a flight because I don't do, you know, self-care on the plane. But it's just... To me, when I'm on the plane, I'm trying to fall asleep as quickly as possible so that I can forget that I'm on a plane because I have horrible plane anxiety that gets worse by the day. It got better. It was really bad. Like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
a year ago and then it got better for like a few months and then now it's worse again. So anyway, it's just a mess. But the last thing I want to add to an already traumatic experience being on the plane is sensory overload because I have a face mask on and a hair mask on and there's like a bunch of stuff all over me. Absolutely not.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
So my airplane routine is literally just get on, fall asleep as quickly as possible and then hopefully wake up when I've arrived. That is the dream and the goal. And my travel routine has stayed pretty consistent. I only pack a carry-on. I pack really light. And I just try to keep it as easy as possible. Okay, next we need to discuss the fittings.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Okay, usually the fittings are happening a few days before. And the fittings consist of either trying on the look that we know we're going to wear. That's usually if the look is custom or if we only have one option that we really like. Or the fitting is sort of dedicated to choosing what I'm going to be wearing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And the fittings usually take a few hours because it's not just like, oh, this looks cute. Okay, cool. No, we're tailoring these pieces to fit me perfectly. We're taking iPhone photos of every single angle to make sure that every single angle looks perfect. We're figuring out how to problem solve various weird issues that come with these extravagant gowns.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Like, for example, the look that I wore to the Vanity Fair Oscar party a few months ago was sort of a corseted leather dress that had cutouts down the legs, kind of around the vagina area. And so during our fitting, you know, we were figuring out what's the underwear situation? How are we going to, you know, and so we ended up having to tape a G-string thong
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
up super high on my hips so that it wouldn't be visible and dye it the same color as the dress so that if, worst case scenario, in a photo or something, you can see the thong a little bit, it'll at least match the gown. So these are all the things we're figuring out, okay? And we have tailors there figuring out, okay, how do we make this dress fit perfectly in a way that also...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
will look good in photographs, right? Because weird things happen in photographs, right? Like things can become see-through in flash photography. Weird shadows can form in flash photography. So the tailor's not only trying to get the garment to fit perfectly, but also look perfect in a photo as well. So there's like an added layer of complication.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And so, yeah, these fittings can go from an hour on a really good day to like, I don't know, sometimes even four hours. And usually there's not just one. The first main fitting is for really just figuring out what the vibe is. Like, what are we wearing here? and getting the initial tailoring done. And then the following fittings are sort of for perfecting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Anywho, but what makes this routine special is that it's mine. And so without further ado, I invite you all to sit back, relax, and listen to me describe my red carpet routine in unnecessary detail. Let's begin. The red carpet routine, I would say, starts like one or two months before the carpet because the outfit doesn't just take a few days to pick out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And again, those can sometimes go for as long as three, four hours, because if something is off, we need to figure it out. And there's been times where like, I remember two years ago, or wait, was it three? Two or three years ago for the Met, my look had a belt, right? Like I kind of had a skirt and a belt on. And the belt that we were going to wear just wasn't looking right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And so my stylist, Jared, literally had to go get a belt made in like six hours, okay? He had to, I don't even know how he did this. He never even told me. I actually should ask him. He got a white fabric belt and got it dyed the exact Pantone color as my dress all within six hours. I don't know how he did it. It was magic. And that's a lot of times what's happening in the final fittings.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Personally... I don't love, I don't love fittings. I don't love fittings because it's very, it's very sensory overload. A lot of times these garments are not comfortable. They're not comfortable and I have to stand in them for a really long time and I'm not even, but I do like, I don't look forward to the fittings. I'm just being completely honest.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
It's not like it's putting me in a horrible mood. Like I'm not like grumpy about it, but it's definitely not my favorite part. It's exciting because we're picking out the look and it's creative and fun in that way. But the experience is very physically uncomfortable to a point where I do kind of dread the fitting a little bit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
But once I get into the flow and we're like discussing it and like picking out jewelry for it and it does become fun, but I do dread it. There are a few, like, rules I have for myself a few days before a red carpet. Like, there are certain things that I keep an eye on, okay? For one, getting too much sun exposure. I really try to avoid the sun before a red carpet because...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Depending on what time of the year it is, I can get burnt kind of easily, you know? And so the last thing I want to do is show up on a red carpet, beat red. And that is a possibility. Like, it's always on the one day that you forgot to wear sunscreen that you're out in the sun all day, you know, and you get a horrible sunburn.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
And so I really make a conscious effort to wear a lot of sunscreen and just in general, stay out of the sun a few days before the red carpet. Looking red, like that is not cute. Looking sun-kissed, cute. But looking sunburned, not cute. And I don't even risk, like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my red carpet routine, explained
Listen, I'd probably look even better on the red carpet if I got a little bit of sun before the carpet because, you know, looking sun-kissed is incredible. But it's not worth it because all it takes is 10 minutes too long in the sun and now you have a sunburn. So I'm avoiding the sun a few days before the red carpet. I'm also avoiding going out, especially before the Met Gala.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Hello and welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on and I give you my unprofessional advice. And today's topic is what to do when you're stuck in a rut. To be honest, I feel like I've been in and out of a rut consistently for the last 10 years of my life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And then another person said, I'm so stuck in a rut right now, not sleeping well, eating well, and just overstressed. How do I get out of it? Okay, well... I think the most challenging thing about being stuck in a rut is that it sort of becomes this self-fulfilling prophecy, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
A rut starts as just like a rough day, and then it turns into a rough week where you're struggling emotionally, mentally. You're getting into a routine that doesn't make you feel good mentally and physically. Because we all have routines that make us feel good, okay? And I think being in a rut is being in a routine that consists of opposite activities, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Eating bad, not following, you know, your ideal sleep schedule, not exercising, maybe not being as productive at work or school, not planning very well, being disorganized, whatever, right? Now, the hardest part about it is that a bad day is a bad day. Being in a rut is a lot of bad days in a row, okay? It's really hard when you're stuck in a rut to perk up one day and say, you know what?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Today's gonna be different. Or to say to yourself one night, hey, you know what? I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and tomorrow's gonna be different. It's really hard to do that because you have the last week, two weeks, two months of evidence proving that it's really hard to wake up the next day and make it different.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
You have two weeks, two months, sometimes even two years of evidence that you're stuck in a rut and getting out of it is going to be nearly impossible. Because if it was easy to get out of a rut, you would have done it two weeks ago, two months ago, two years ago. It's really easy to convince yourself that tomorrow's not going to be different, so why even try?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
I can't turn today around, so why even try? I haven't been able to do it before. Why would I be able to do it now? So the hardest part and the most important step is to have a moment of potentially even delusional hope that tomorrow will be different. That is the first step.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And a lot of times the only thing you can do is either lie to yourself and convince yourself almost falsely that you feel that way or wait until that feeling comes eventually because it will. But that is the first step and it is the absolute hardest. I become so pessimistic and stubborn when I'm in a rut and I'm like, fuck this, I don't even care. Why would I even try to make tomorrow better?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Like I'm exhausted. I've been in a rut for so long. You know, tomorrow's not going to be different. I hate my life. I hate everything. I hate everybody. I'm not even going to try. Fuck all this. It's so hard. It's so hard to not just fall victim to that and then stay in the rut for three weeks, three months longer than you necessarily have to.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
But after finding hope somewhere, some way, I do think it's really helpful to make a plan. And I think... depending on how long you've been in a rut, you know, you might have to really make a plan. Like not just like, okay, this is what I'm gonna do tomorrow. I think when you're in a rut, it's a good time to reset everything in your life, including the bigger picture.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Responsibilities are coming in at an alarming rate. It's all happening. It's all very overwhelming. It's your first time doing a lot of hard stuff. So you get stuck in a rut really easily. Life gets you down pretty easily. And then I'm hoping, because I can't say for sure because I'm 23, but I'm hoping that after that, things get easier and easier and easier until you die.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
So, you know, sit down with a loved one or sit down with a pad and paper or sit down outside staring at a tree and analyze your current situation. you know, analyze what potentially got you into this rut in the first place. What areas of your life are clearly bringing you down?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And how can you make shifts in your life to make your life better, you know, to potentially prevent getting into a rut again? What kind of shifts in your life need to be made? What's not working? I feel like we get stuck in a rut in our lives usually because something is not working, right? We're too stressed out about work or about school or about our relationships in life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Something is really stressing us out. You know, we have too much on our plate. We're not trusting our instincts. We're maybe living for people that aren't ourselves. Like there are all these different things that can happen that put us into a vulnerable place where we might fall into a rut. And so I think it's important to try to identify those things and then try to make a plan.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Like, how can I, how can I change the stuff that's not working? Now, a lot of times you can't change stuff overnight. Sometimes you can. That's great. But a lot of times you can't. So create a plan on how you can make these changes so that you can get to a better place in your life so that you don't fall into a rut as often. And, you know, that might be like, OK, well, you know what?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
I really just need to quit my job or whatever. I really need to change my major in college. Or I really need to break up with this person that I'm dating. Or I really need to stop being friends with this friend group. Or, you know, figure out what action needs to take place and then figure out the steps that can help you get there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
If you really need to break up with your significant other, establish a really solid support system beforehand. Reach out to friends. Reach out to your loved ones and say, you know, I'm going to need you a little bit more. I'm going to go through a big life change here. Have that tough conversation. After that, make a plan for how you can focus on yourself. Like, you know what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And once you sort of have the bigger picture figured out, that's when I think it's important to make an actionable plan. And my advice is always start in the morning. Like, it's really hard halfway through the day to be like, today's been really bad and really... and really disappointing, I'm going to turn it around right now at 5 p.m. Listen, don't get me wrong. You can absolutely do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And I've done it before. And it feels good. But my preferred method is to always start in the morning. The night before, make a plan. Okay, tomorrow I'm going to wake up at this time. I'm going to exercise. This is what I'm going to eat. I'm going to go get a coffee from my favorite cafe. I'm going to focus on working for this many hours. I'm going to get this much done.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
I'm going to do like, you know, making an actionable plan that's written out that has a low to moderate failure rate, making a to do list that's satisfying enough to actually allow my brain to release happy chemicals that make me want to have another good day the next day. but not so satisfying that it's actually impossible to complete, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Listen, we all wish that we could do everything every day all the time, but we can't, unfortunately. And if you put that sort of expectation on yourself immediately after coming out of a rut, good luck, okay? You're gonna end up disappointed and falling into a deeper rut. So you wanna be sort of thoughtful about
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
the actionable plan that you make and make sure that it's something that is feasible to do, but is also going to be satisfying, right? There should be a little bit of challenge in there. There should be, I think, a good combination of challenge, right? Like, I want to get work done for this many hours. but also something enjoyable on there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Like, I'm going to go to my favorite bakery in the morning before work or school or whatever, and I'm going to get my favorite pastry and my favorite drink. And after work or school, I'm going to go to a hot yoga class. Like, sandwiching work with pleasure, I think, is really important when you're coming out of a rut, especially. Okay, someone said...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
That's what I'm hoping for. I'm hoping that the frequency of getting stuck in a rut lightens up a bit over the next 30 to 40 years for me, crossing my fingers. I briefly paused this episode of Anything Goes to let you know that this episode of Anything Goes is presented by Amazon.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
How do I start enjoying life again after a depressive episode? I've been so down. What do I do? This is sort of a similar piece of advice to the last piece of advice that I gave. But I think the first and hardest step is to not be stubborn, is to not be pessimistic, is to not convince yourself that tomorrow will not be different.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
When I'm coming out of a depressive episode... Well, when I'm in a depressive episode, I'm always very stubborn. Very stubborn. Very pessimistic. I'm like, tomorrow will never be different. That's why I'm in this depressive episode. Because I hate my life. Right? Like, I hate everything... Nothing's ever going to change.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
That's one of the darkest things about being in a depressive episode is that you really do believe that this is it, that like everything fucking sucks. And that's just how it is. And that's how it's always going to be. And that's why you're in a depressive, you know, like that's, that's what the feeling is of, of depression, right? Yeah.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
I mean, there's a lot to it, and it can range in its darkness, but that's a huge part of it. That's the whole sentiment, is that there's no hope. Life fucking sucks. That's the whole point. And it's very hard, and people underestimate, I think, how hard it is to shift that perspective, because... Being in a depressive episode, that is a very strong, intense experience.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
It's experiencing that feeling of hopelessness to the highest degree. And even when you're stuck in a rut, which isn't quite a depressive episode, it can be, but it isn't always, even then, being stuck in a rut, a lesser version of a depressive episode, it's hard to stop being stubborn and to say tomorrow's gonna be different. When you're in a depressive episode, it's 50 times harder.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
But the same thing is necessary is to find a moment of delusion, even if you have to, where you're like, tomorrow's going to be different. Find a moment of hope where you're like, tomorrow's going to be different. It has to be. It absolutely has to be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And I think not only is it hard to convince yourself of that because the last two weeks, two months, two years, prove yourself otherwise, prove to yourself that you're an unhappy person and that life sucks and it has been sucking for X amount of time. But it's also really challenging because I think those of us who have depressive episodes
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
This might not be something that all people who experience depressive episodes experience, but it's something I definitely experience. I have a really hard time moving on from a depressive episode, getting over it, because I weirdly have ego in my depressive episodes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Like the only way that I can find strength in a depressive episode is through pitying myself, being a victim of it, which is, you know, one of the toxic elements of a depressive episode. And that sort of is what feeds my ego. And it's what gives me energy and self-esteem at all is being a victim of it. It's this very weird thing that happens in my brain, right, that I can't even explain.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
It's a part of the depressive episode. And so there's this really challenging hump that I have to get over when I'm trying to pull myself out of a depressive episode where I'm like, this is my identity. This is where my confidence, not confidence, but this is where my ego and self-esteem is coming from right now. The fact that I'm a victim of this thing and I become afraid of letting that go.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
I'm like, if I let this go, if I'm not depressed anymore... Was it ever even real? I'm not a victim of anything anymore. So who am I? Are people going to believe that the episode was real if I'm able to come out of it at a certain point? You know, for so long, I relied on being the victim of this thing. for my attention from my loved ones, are they going to think I was faking it?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Are they not going to give me attention anymore? There's all these weird things that happen like that. And yeah, like your brain goes to these weird, weird places when you're coming out of a depressive episode that are very toxic, but I think also very normal. And so... It can be very easy to get stubborn and be like, well, I can't let go of this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
I can't come out of this, even though it's absolutely miserable, because you start to weirdly rely on the fact that you are in a depressive episode. You almost become codependent with it. At least that's my experience. And so the hardest thing is to let go of that stubbornness and say, I know I'm just being stubborn and that my stubbornness is lying to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Like nobody thinks that if my depressive episode ends, that my depressive episode never happened. You know, that's not going to happen. I'm more than just like a victim of my depressive episode. And also being a victim is not I don't want to be a victim. That's not what I want to be. You know what I mean? That's bad. And so on and so forth. It's sort of like a shifting of the mindset.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Amazon One Medical and Amazon Pharmacy remove these painful parts of getting better with things like 24-7 virtual visits and prescriptions delivered to your door. Thanks to Amazon One Medical and Amazon Pharmacy for sponsoring today's episode. Now let's get back to the episode.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
So, you know, the first and hardest step is getting over the stubbornness. But from there, it's not easy either, right? But what I've noticed coming out of a depressive episode is it's very important to really focus on what makes you feel good and fulfilled, what really makes you feel good. rewarded. Now there are parts of our lives that are not rewarding. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
A lot of times work or school is not rewarding. Although for some of us it is. And you know, weirdly enough for me, like getting work done, being productive really helps me when I'm coming out of a, of a depressive episode, like really diving into my work and being like, let me get some shit done. That makes me feel really good. It's not going to make everyone feel good, but it works for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
That's something that's very fulfilling for me. It can also be the reason that I get into a depressive episode because I burn myself out. But a lot of times it can actually feel really good. But there are other things that make me feel really good. I know that when I'm in a really solid exercise routine and I'm releasing my endorphins every day, that's really good for Emma.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Okay, that's really good for Emma. So I know that like I need to book this many workout classes for the week and show up every single time because that makes me feel good. It makes me feel accomplished. And like from a chemical standpoint, it helps me, right? I know that. So, you know, and I know that like a lot of times, honestly, hanging out with certain people is,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Uh being really social being super available on text call, whatever that's not always super helpful for me So I know okay. I'm not i'm not even gonna worry about that right now I know that having a clean house. That's really important for me So i'm gonna make sure to be cleaning my house every day like the things that you know, make you feel good Fit them in by whatever means necessary Okay
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And at first it might be hard and they're not going to feel as rewarding as they may be used to. They're not going to feel as rewarding as you'd hope they would. Keep your expectations as low as possible, which is incredibly challenging, but keep them as low as possible because that really helps with not losing hope and not losing steam.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And just keep going and get into a routine where you have many things that that are on your schedule per day that you know make you feel good. Or at least you know at some point will make you feel good again. And be patient. And slowly but surely, you'll get back to it. And then you can start introducing things, you know, other things again, and you'll get back into a normal swing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
But I really do think that the hardest thing is getting started and convincing yourself that you can enjoy things again. Because again, we get so stubborn and we're like, I'm not going to ever enjoy my life again. The hardest thing is convincing yourself I will be able to enjoy things again. Because our mind is so powerful. And we can't always control it, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
To be honest, this topic today, what to do when you're stuck in a rut, is so relevant because I have been stuck in a little rut for the last few weeks. And I know I say that a lot. I don't just say it to be on theme, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
But if you can sort of counteract the negative thoughts that you're having that are like, I'm never going to. I'm never gonna enjoy life again. I'm never, you know, I'm never gonna feel good again. If you can replace that, it's the hardest thing to do. It is so fucking hard and I still work on it and I still don't have it figured out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And I'm starting to wonder if that's just what adulthood is. Constantly teetering between being in a rut and having shit together. Which sounds a little bit pessimistic, but I don't mean it that way. I think... as you get older, shit gets real, you know? And when you're a kid, you don't even have a frontal lobe. It's like, you don't even know what's going on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
But if you can convince yourself for one second, no, that's not true. I know that's not true. And I will be able to enjoy life again. In fact, I'm actually gonna go do something right now that has a lot of potential to make me feel good. Slowly but surely, you'll get out of it. Actually, one final point I want to make. It's so important to allow yourself to enjoy your life again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
You know, we, I think when we're coming out of a depressive episode, out of that stubbornness, we'll literally prevent ourselves from having fun, prevent ourselves from enjoying ourselves out of that stubbornness. So think of it like that. Like, I'm going to allow myself to enjoy this workout class. I'm going to allow myself to enjoy this walk.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
If you reframe it and look at it like that, that can also be really helpful sometimes as well. Okay, somebody said, I don't know if I have depression or even fully what depression is, but I feel so empty inside and all that jazz. I don't know what to do. And then somebody else said, I'm in bed all day long and I feel like I can't get out of my bed. Am I depressed? How do I get over it?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Well, number one, you should never ask a podcaster whether or not you're depressed. Because let me tell you, I did not go to college. For fuck's sake, I didn't finish high school. So we definitely know that I do not have my doctorate or whatever degree you get when you're a doctor. I'm assuming it's the doctorate. It might not even be the doctorate.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
I don't know that because that's how much I didn't go to school. I know a lot of stuff. I don't know that. So don't ask me, okay? Go ask a professional if you want, you know, Absolute confirmation, okay? That is not my job. That is the job of a professional for diagnosis. In fact, that invites me to rant about online diagnosing oneself and how absolutely toxic it is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Please don't ever diagnose yourself on the internet. The biology of the body is so much more complicated than a Google search. So do not do that. However, I have experienced depression, but I've also experienced just like a rough patch of my life. And so I can speak to my experience. In my experience, it's very hard to tell sometimes whether...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
you're experiencing just a spurt of depression or just a spurt of emptiness and sadness and purposelessness or, you know, a period of really challenging life circumstances that put you into an uncomfortable position that puts you into some sort of rut or, you really challenging life circumstances that put you into a depressive episode.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Listen, I would absolutely love to sit here and be like, I'm coming at you from a really strong place and I'm going to give you advice on how to get yourself out of a rut because look at me, I'm not in one. No, wrong. I'm totally in one. I don't know. There's something about the holidays. I spent a lot of December sort of relaxing and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Like there are so many different versions of a rough patch, right? Sometimes it's depressive, which is more extreme, a bit more serious. But there are also times when it's really uncomfortable and it really sucks because But it's not quite depression. It's something a little bit less serious.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And I think when it comes to just a spurt of emptiness and sadness and purposelessness, but not fully like depression. that's usually a sign that you're not doing enough in your life for your soul. You know, there's a good chance that you're stuck in a routine that you've been stuck in for a long time and you're feeling empty and sad and not fully depressed, but just sort of
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
not stoked about life, probably because you're stuck in a hamster wheel, you know? And I think the simplest fix I have for that is break your routine. I think we underestimate how if the routine doesn't have anything for your soul in it, and that could be like small things.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
It could be like stretching for 10 minutes in the morning and wearing an outfit that you think is cute and spending time like going on a walk every night with your significant other. Okay, it can be little things like that. It doesn't need to be like... I am cooking a four-course meal every night because I have a passion for cooking and that's what my soul loves to do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
It doesn't need to be something that takes up your entire day and gets in the way of you being a functioning person. I'm saying that there's a good chance that you're missing key elements for you. You need to be squeezing in little things for you that make you feel alive and good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And so I think if you're experiencing a little spurt of emptiness, break up your routine a little bit and try to squeeze in things that are good for your soul. So that's how to handle sort of a spurt of emptiness and sadness that has no particular obvious cause whatsoever. but doesn't quite feel as extreme as depression, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And then you have a slightly more extreme version, right, where you're feeling emptiness and you're feeling darkness and you're feeling depression, right? It's a bit more extreme, it's a bit more excruciating, but similar to the last scenario, the cause is unknown. Now, my solution is very similar.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
However, I think the only difference is if it is feeling extreme to the point of depression, it is important to, of course, involve professionals. Because the thing about depression is that sometimes there is no cause, right? A little spurt of emptiness and sadness that it can occur for no reason. But in my experience, less often. Usually there's some sort of reason.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Whereas depression can sometimes just present itself. So you can search all day for the root cause and you might not be able to find it because it either might not exist, it could be a chemical issue in your brain or whatever, or there actually is a reason. But the depressive mind is not always fit to figure out what the problem is, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And I kind of had some goals of like, you know, this is going to be my winter arc. Fuck it. Like, let me try to do the whole winter arc thing. And like, I'm going to, you know, set all these goals for myself. I'm going to read a book and I'm going to wake up early and I'm going to do this and I'm going to do that. And listen, the winter is not over. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And because it's such a fragile state of mind to be in, that's why I say, you know, doing it alone is not good. However, in my experience, you know, I've been in... depressive episode majority of my depressive episodes in my life I would say 90% of them have come upon me for an actual reason like I've gone into depressive episodes because of something and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
I've also had, you know, my fair share of depressive episodes that have just sort of spawned for no reason. But in my experience, majority of them have some sort of root cause. I became depressed for some sort of reason. And it's usually because there's something fundamentally deeply wrong with my life. Deeply wrong. More deeply wrong than me being in a routine and not having like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
soulful things to do. I usually feel depressed because I feel stuck. I feel stuck in my life and I don't know what direction to move in. And there is no clear path anywhere. Every path that I could take is a path that I don't want to take. So I feel stuck and then I get depressed. And a lot of it happens subconsciously. I don't even... really notice why I get depressed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
But then later it becomes clear to me, oh my God, it's because there was no clear path for me to move forward. I didn't know what to do. So I just lost all hope in everything. So I think it's complex, right? But I think when it comes to depression, regardless of if you can put a finger on why you're feeling depressed, because obviously, again, as I said, sometimes you can and sometimes you can't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
I think it's important to involve somebody else, you know, involve a professional, ideally, who can hold your hand in it. Or if you're like me, a lot of times, you know, I'm not involving a professional necessarily, but I'm involving my parents. If that feels like, you know, the safe, correct option, which it is for the most part, they can handle it. And they helped me through it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
They helped me through it. And they help me figure out, you know, what shifts I can make in my life that will get me out of it. And I've noticed for me, you know, what tends to what tends to help me is to number one, make goals. There's something about making goals that in the midst of a really dark patch of my life that really, it gives me something to wake up for the next day.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
It gives me something, like it gives me that, making a goal, that can be the thing that pulls you out, you know? Making a goal, making a plan. And I'm sounding like a broken record, but these things are really helpful. And we can get really stubborn and not want to do them in the moment, but they really are the best methods to dealing with this shit. Okay, next.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
I could still execute on those things, but I found myself exhausted during the holidays. So then I ended up failing at that, which is ironic because I made a whole episode about Well, I think, you know, making lifestyle goals for yourself like that can be really positive. And, you know, as long as you don't put pressure on yourself and all this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Somebody says, I feel like I can't get out of my bed and all I do is doom scroll these past few months. I'm miserable. How do I get out of this? I completely understand this feeling. And for the last few months, I have not had Instagram or TikTok or Twitter X, whatever, or anything like no social media on my phone. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And the only thing I've had on my phone pretty consistently is YouTube and Pinterest, YouTube and Pinterest and Spotify. And are there anything else that sort of falls under social media? No, Spotify is not social media, but it kind of has that vibe in a way. Anyway, I have talked about this quite a bit, but I have a two phone method now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
where my main phone that I carry around with me all day long has none of those toxic apps on it. And then I have a second phone that has all the toxic apps on it and nothing else so that I don't get tempted to just bring that phone around. Because if it had all the other apps on it, I would just use it like a normal phone. But I've removed the map app or the calling app.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
You can remove all those things from your home screen. So now the phone is like... kind of useless. Like it's well, it's not because I mean, those things still exist on the phone, but it's like annoying to get to them. So anyway, this is sort of my structure right now because I was having the same issue. I was doom scrolling. I was addicted to the social media of it all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And it was completely destroying my brain. And I still have residual issues from being addicted to the internet. Like, I'm still recovering from the years and years of doom scrolling and all of this. Like, this is a serious, serious, serious issue. And so to start, I want to say, don't blame yourself, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Obviously, we are responsible for our actions and it's important to, you know, be aware of that and take responsibility. However, it's also important to be fair with yourself. And I think that we often underestimate how powerful this beast of the Internet is, this beast of social media. We often underestimate it. Okay. So to start, I want to say, go easy on yourself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
You know, this stuff is stronger than we are. Okay. And being addicted to it nowadays is the norm. So I think it's important to give yourself a sort of boost of confidence and to tell yourself, you know what, this is very normal and I'm not a lazy loser for doom scrolling for the last few months of my life. Like this is a normal experience considering how addictive these platforms are.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
But once you comfort yourself and remind yourself that this doesn't define you as a person, you do need to change it. Yeah, you do. And I don't mean to sound extreme. I know it sounds extreme, but you need to do a social media detox. You absolutely have to. You need to delete all of the apps off your phone. Sorry. And there's no excuse. There is absolutely no excuse. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
You can delete all the apps off of your phone. We always make excuses. There's always some sort... That's what you do when you're an addict, okay? I, for so many years, was addicted to nicotine. And I, for whatever reason, have really intense withdrawals, like really crazy withdrawals, like full depressive episode meltdowns as a result of withdrawal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And then I proceeded to put pressure on myself and then sort of fail, which, again, it's not too late. It's still the winter. But it kind of made me feel bad about myself. And I've just been overthinking my life and career and everything a lot. I don't know. I've been in my head a lot, getting in my own way a lot, being really hard on myself. My self-esteem is down. It's just a mess, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And so I would never go like, you know, longer than a week without it. And I would constantly make excuses about why I can't quit. Right. I can't quit because I have a lot of work to do this week. And like nicotine really helps me focus and blah, blah, blah. I can't quit this week because I'm having a really hard time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Like I'm going through a tough time and I'm in a rut and like I can't quit right now because it'll just put me further in a rut. You know, there was always some sort of excuse for why I couldn't quit, right? There is no fucking excuse. You can delete every app off of your phone. I don't care if you're running a business and you use social media to promote your business.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Have one of your other employees post on the Instagram, post on the TikTok for you for the next... Do you see what I'm saying? I'm trying to come up with any scenario where you could potentially possibly need to be on social media. There isn't any. Delete all the apps. You don't have to do it forever, but you need at least two weeks and you need to see what happens. See what you do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
What do you do with that time? I can guarantee you'll spend that time that you used to spend doom scrolling doing incredible things. You'll find yourself more creative. You'll find yourself with more time to do things that have a net positive impact on your life. You'll find yourself with the time to do things that are maybe a bit more challenging than
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
in the sense that they're not as dopaminergic as going on your phone. You go on your phone and your brain immediately is releasing so much dopamine so easily and there's so many happy chemicals exploding in your brain and it's so easy. Although it ends up being negative and not feeling good eventually, but...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
you'll end up doing activities that also release dopamine and happy chemicals in your brain, but are a bit more challenging. Like an example for me would be, I keep going back to this, but like going to a workout class. Going to a workout class is hard. The workout itself is hard, but it does end up releasing happy chemicals in my brain that then make me want to do it again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
But I'm releasing the happy chemicals and the activity is actually a net positive in my life. Whereas you release a lot of these happy chemicals when you're on your phone, but it's not benefiting your life. It's net negative on your life. You'll find yourself feeling so much more peaceful. You'll finally be able to put it into perspective and realize how stupid and pointless all the
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Taking two weeks off of social media, completely deleting it off the phone will completely reprogram your brain in a way that you will become addicted to in a new way. You'll become addicted to having a healthy brain because you'll realize what it feels like again. I think it's really crucial, though, that you actually delete the apps off your phone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
So many people are like, oh, I just won't go on them. It doesn't work. You have to not have it in your pocket because you're in such a routine and such a habit. You need to not be able to access these things. in order for the full social media detox, if you will, to happen. But I promise you, if you delete everything for two weeks, tell everyone that they can only contact you over text and call.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
You're not going to be on DM. Don't send over any memes or funny things to look at because you're not going to be looking. Tell everyone, two weeks, none of it. And then reevaluate after the two weeks. And I can almost guarantee you're going to be feeling so good that you're going to want to change your approach to social media usage moving forward. And that might mean, you know what?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
I'm going to redownload this app. I'm going to redownload YouTube. And I'm going to redownload Pinterest. And I'm going to redownload maybe... I don't know. Maybe Instagram, maybe you can handle it, but maybe you're not going to redownload TikTok. Maybe that's a step too far, whatever. Or maybe you're like, I don't want to redownload any of it. I feel so good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
I don't ever want to reintegrate this into my life again. That's for you to decide, but I can almost guarantee that your approach to social media will be different moving forward because once you step away from it, you realize how bad it makes you feel, even though you already know. Last but not least, somebody said, winter always makes me super sad and anxious. How do I get through it?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
So I'm in a little rut. And yesterday was the worst day yet. I had a fucking meltdown. because I woke up and I was like, today's going to be different. Today's going to be better. Today's going to be the day that we get back to it. Okay. Today's going to be the day that we stop, you know, procrastinating and, and getting in our own way. And guess what I did?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
I think the hardest part about the winter, and I live in California, so I can't even talk. Okay, it doesn't snow here. You know, recently it's been pretty cold. But pretty cold means like between like 40 and 50 degrees. That's not that cold. Honestly, maybe even like 45 to 55. I can't even speak. to the East Coast winter, okay? Although I have spent weeks at a time on the East Coast in the winter.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
So I'm aware enough of what that experience is like, and I am aware of the challenges. And I think the most important thing, honestly, and this is so annoying, but it's really important to get outside. And it's so hard. It's so hard, especially if you live somewhere where it's really cold and it's snowing and it's very challenging. But it's so important to get outside. Daily walk.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
You could do like a little mile and a half walk every day. That works wonders. Okay. During the winter, literally yesterday, I had a horrible day yesterday. And to make it worse, I didn't go outside until 9 p.m. I was inside all day because it was cold. And I was like... I don't know. I have no motivation to go outside. I'm just going to sit in my bubble and try to be productive or whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And I didn't go outside until 9 p.m. And you want to know one of the most joyful moments of my day? Going outside and taking a walk. It was crisp. It was cold. I had to get bundled up a little bit, but not even that much. I'm in California. Again, I can't even say bundled up. Someone in New York would actually punch me in the face and be like, shut the fuck up. You're bundled up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
You're wearing a hoodie and sweatpants that are long. And you're wearing socks up to your knees because that makes you feel warmer. Like you're wearing a summer outfit for New York. But I really think going outside as much as you can is so important.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
I remember I've spent quite a few winters in the East Coast for, you know, weeks at a time and getting bundled up, going on a walk, having a fire outside, having friends over, having, you know, I don't drink anymore. I'm apparently sober recently. But having friends over for a drink, if you drink, or you know what, fuck it, a sparkling water, if you're like me, go outside as much as you can.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
It really, really, really helps. Just fresh air is, I mean, also there's like the vitamin D of it all, being in the sunlight is even better. But I just think being outside as often as you can, even though it's more of a chore, I think can really help you reconnect to reality and the world and the earth and make you feel,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
less upset and sad and anxious about how cold and isolated life feels and rather be like, wow, it's so refreshing and beautiful out here. It can help you change your perspective on the weather itself. I also think it's kind of fun to romanticize the winter weather. I really tried to do that this year.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Again, even though I'm in Los Angeles and it's not that cold, but I really tried to romanticize all of the sort of winter shortcomings. Okay. Of course, the shortcomings are that it gets dark really early for one. That's probably the most challenging part for me is that the daylight just is gone. You Me pretending like it doesn't happen every year. I'm like, what? 4 p.m. it's dark?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
I really got in my own way yesterday to a point that I put so much pressure on myself to overperform yesterday and that I ended up freezing and getting nothing done. And then the guilt of that made me completely spiral. Anyway, you guys, let's not talk about that anymore. Let's get into your problems, okay? Enough about mine. Let's talk about your problems now. Let's begin.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
It's like, yeah, it happens every year, babe. Every single year. But that is really challenging. But then also, of course, the cold weather. But also like not feeling physically as good, right? There's something about the warm weather that does make you feel physically good. It feels good on the skin.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Like, you know, your skin feels like hydrated and the oils are flowing and during the winter you're all dry. And then during the summer, your sun kissed, you're tan, you know, whatever. And then in the winter, it's like, you don't have that sort of summer glow. It's just like, you don't feel as cute oftentimes. I always feel cuter in the summer. So there's a lot of, you know,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
shortcomings, winter shortcomings, but I think you can romanticize these things, right? So it getting dark early. Okay. Romanticize the cozy vibes. Sounds cringe, but it's like, I've been lighting a lot of candles. Okay. The sun goes down. I set really nice, beautiful, moody lighting in my house. I light some candles and And I'm romanticizing the fact that it's dark at 6 p.m.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
by making it a vibe, okay? When it comes to the cold weather, there are cold weather activities that are really enjoyable. Like I actually do enjoy getting sort of bundled up and going on a crispy walk. right? That feels really good. Having a fire outside and, you know, hanging out around a fire, that's fun during the summer, but it's really fun during the winter, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
If you like skiing or snowboarding or if you just like being in a ski town, okay? Oh my God, that just reminded me of my traumatic experience skiing. Over New Year's, I went to a ski town and I skied for the first time. I had snowboarded once and it was a catastrophe. And then I tried skiing. I am sort of convinced. I love to believe that you can learn anything at any time in your life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
I don't know if you can learn to ski as an adult. I think you have to start as a kid because, whoa, I was absolutely horrible at it. And I cried, cried, cried. Maybe that's a story time for another time. Yeah, anyways, but if you like skiing or snowboarding or you like hanging out in a cute little ski town, maybe plan a little weekend trip with friends.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Like, try to romanticize it as much as possible. Now, you know, I talked about not feeling as cute, right? Have fun styling winter outfits. Get into that. Spend a little extra time on your skincare routine because you need it a little bit more. You're a little bit drier. Lean into romanticizing the shortcomings in a way as much as you can. And I think that that really helps.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And then last but not least, I think it can potentially be helpful to make a goal that you want to accomplish by the time winter ends. I think it's a healthy distraction to have some sort of goal that you're working towards, it gives you sort of purpose. I think it can be... I think wintertime is when you need a distraction the most. And there's no better distraction than an all-consuming goal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Like, I really want to accomplish this thing. I think the only thing to be careful of is that in the wintertime, your spirits tend to be down to begin with. So your likelihood... You're more likely to become discouraged, right? So if things don't work out, you're more likely to really have a hard time with that. And so I...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
I will say that try to make a goal that you think is feasible to either accomplish or get closer to accomplishing, right? Like I remember I made an episode about a month ago about like the concept of the winter arc. And I was like, is this... positive? Is this negative?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
You know, what are the shortcomings and strengths of this concept as a whole, like taking the winter time to, you know, reinvent yourself? I actually do think that it is a beneficial concept. However, I failed and that kind of did bug me a little bit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
So like, it's not like I fully failed because there's certain lifestyle changes that I have made this winter that sort of could fall under the category of like a winter arc, although they didn't match up with my original rules or my original goals, but I've sort of tweaked my goals and actually ended up accomplishing some things, but they're not what I originally planned on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And so I do think this sort of idea of like this winter, I want to reinvent myself and I want good things to happen. I think it actually did have a positive impact overall because even though I was kind of frustrated that I didn't accomplish exactly what I wanted to, other positive things ended up coming out of it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Like I've been cooking recently from scratch, which is something I've been wanting to get back into for a long time. And I'm actually successfully getting back into that. In addition to that, I think I made a goal that I wanted to run, but I've actually discovered walking in a whole new way. Like I've made a goal that I wanted. This sounds so obvious.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Okay, somebody said, I've been stuck in the house way too much and I've gotten used to the isolation. I wanna get out more, but I don't even know where to start. How do you find things to do? Okay, I could be totally off base here, but this statement sort of reminds me of when someone goes into their closet and they have a closet full of clothes and they're like, I have nothing to wear.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Everybody makes the goal of 10,000 steps a day. It's like the standard or whatever. But I've never done that. I've never made it a goal to have 10,000 steps a day. And I'm so late to the train, like literally five years late to the train. But I used to run. And instead of like walking 10,000 steps a day, I would run 5,000 steps a day at a faster pace. And that was what I was doing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Anyway, but I was like, hey, maybe I'll try the 10K steps today. A lot of people really like it. So I ended up trying that. So like good things have come out of this sort of having planted the seed that I want to, you know, use this wintertime to improve, I guess. But there was a negative element to it where, you know, I wanted to accomplish all these goals and I didn't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
So I guess, you know, when I give you this piece of advice, like potentially make a goal that you want to accomplish by the time winter ends, I think my piece of advice to you would be make sure that either number one, you're okay with potentially not accomplishing what you want to, especially if you're being really ambitious, right? but also be open to changing your goal and evolving your goal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
As you work closer to it, you might realize, eh, this is actually not what I, I don't know that this is working out for me. I'm gonna make a different goal. And being okay with that is really important.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
So I think being flexible with yourself, but I think having an overall goal that can evolve and change or not fully get accomplished by the end of the winter, but I think having something that you're working towards is really important. Big or small, a long list of stuff or a short list of stuff, or just one singular thing that you want to accomplish. It doesn't matter.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
But I think just having that as something to think about, something to give you sort of purpose is really helpful. And that's it. That's all. That's my advice for getting out of a rut. I am getting out of a rut myself. I'm really proud of myself because I woke up this morning and I was like, today is going to be different against all odds. Yesterday was such a bad day. I can't express.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
It wasn't even a bad day, by the way. When I look at it with a reasonable, rational... I'm like, yesterday was not a bad day. Yeah, a few things didn't go my way. And I was in a really bad state of mind. But like, no one got hurt. Everybody's healthy and happy. Like, it was not a bad fucking day. But I was really down in the dumps. And I really had a bad attitude. Like, my attitude hit its...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
It was at a low point. It was at a really low point. And, you know, it's 9.30 in the morning right now and I'm talking to you and I don't have a mental block right now. And that's beautiful. And I'm really happy. I'm really happy that my mental block didn't get between us today because I'm fucking sick of that mental block. And I'm really working to get rid of it and to eradicate it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
But it is tough. So anyway, thank you all for listening and hanging out. It was a pleasure as always. New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. You can stream anywhere that you get podcasts and now on YouTube as well. Hi, YouTube. I'm so happy to be here. I love YouTube. You can follow Anything Goes on social media at Anything Goes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
You can follow me on social media at Emma Chamberlain. And you can check out my coffee company, ChamberlainCoffee.com or at Chamberlain Coffee on social media. That's all I have to say. I love and appreciate you all. I love when we get to hang out. It's always a joy and a pleasure. And I will talk to you very, very soon. Okay, bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
The problem is not that you have nothing to wear. It's that you hate all your clothes, right? And in that situation, you either need to go into your closet with fresh eyes, sort of tweak your perspective, and instead of looking at all your clothes like old memories and...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
old Instagram photos that you've posted in the past and, you know, outfits that you've worn on a night out and outfits that you've worn 20 times to work or school. Go into your closet and look at everything for what it is. You know, pieces of clothing are all building blocks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
We can sometimes start to perceive our clothing negatively for various sort of irrational reasons because we've worn something too much, because, you know, it's a shirt that a lot of other people have. It's like a very popular piece. It's maybe considered basic. Or... Whatever. And so it's not really that you have nothing to wear.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
It's that you have sort of a narrow minded perspective about your closet. And so I think in your case, when it comes to, you know, getting out more and finding things to do outside of your home that are exciting, I know for a fact that there are a lot of options for you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
So life just seems less challenging for the most part. And then you become an adult and your frontal lobe develops so you can comprehend how complex life is. And then on top of that, of course, you have all these responsibilities. And it just, it gets harder and harder to, keep it together. Although I'm hoping that the frequency of being stuck in a rut goes a little bit something like this. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Off the top of my head, I could think of 10 incredible things that you could do outside of your house that I can almost guarantee you will find some sort of joy from. You could go for a walk. Even better, you could go for a walk with someone. I've been loving walking recently. I just love going for a walk. You could go to your favorite bakery or go to your favorite cafe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Go to the library if you're somebody who likes books. Libraries are underrated, okay? They still exist. I don't go to the library, but I actually have some people in my life who do go to the library and they absolutely love it, okay? I don't go to the library because there are a lot of things I'd rather do. But if you like reading, you can go to a library. Maybe you have a local museum.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Go just trot around there, okay? Maybe you whip out a cookbook, pick out a recipe, go to the grocery store and pick out groceries. Do you see what I'm saying? There are so many different options. There's more to do outside of your house than there is to do inside of your house. Right? So when you say, you know, I want to get out more, but I don't even know where to start.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
How do you find things to do? The first thing that comes to my mind is that's not the problem. The problem is not that you don't know where to start and you don't know how to find things to do. I think you do. I think what you're dealing with is sort of a mental block in a way. A mental block towards doing stuff outside. Let's look up the definition of mental block because I don't really...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
A mental block, according to Google, is an uncomfortable suppression or repression of painful or unwanted thoughts and memories. It can also be an inability to continue or complete a train of thought, as in the case of writer's block. In the case of writer's block, many find it helpful to take a break and revisit their topic. I have experienced a few mental blocks in my life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
One, when I was a cheerleader and I would get hurt doing some sort of cheerleading move of some sort because a lot of cheerleading moves are dangerous because I did competitive cheer. I was flipping. I was being thrown around. I got hurt all the time. And sometimes the injuries would be so scarring or I'd get so close to injury. Maybe I wouldn't injure myself, but I'd get so close to injury.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
it would really scare me and I'd get sort of a mental block. And what the mental block would look like would be, let's say, okay, let's say I was doing a round off back handspring back tuck, okay? And one of the times that I'm doing the round off back handspring tuck, I land weird and I don't hurt my ankle. I don't hurt my knee, but I almost do. And I can feel that I do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
The next time when I go to do a round off, I can't spring tuck. When I'm about to do the backflip, the scariest part, I stop like my body stops. Even though I've done the back tuck a bazillion times, but I almost got hurt. And then the next five times that I try to do a round off back handspring and back tuck, I stop at the back handspring.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Then I start to get into a routine of just not ever doing the back tuck. And then as time goes on, the back tuck gets more and more and more scary to a point where now it's this daunting, daunting thing that at one point in my life used to be a completely normal thing that I used to do. And that's the problem with the mental block.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
When you get a mental block with something, it then gives the action that has now become frightening to you all this power. Because by you avoiding it time and time and time again, you give it this power and you let it convince you that you can't do it. But you can. You've done it before. You know what I'm saying? So that's one example in my life of having a mental block.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
But I've also had mental blocks with this podcast. In fact, I was experiencing a really severe mental block with this podcast yesterday, which was one of the reasons why I was freaking out and having a meltdown. So cute. I've talked about this before, but I get a sort of mental block with recording my podcast sometimes when I'm like, oh, I really need to get an episode done today.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And I put a lot of pressure on myself. And then I'll turn on my microphone and I have all this pressure on myself to do it. And then I'll record the intro and then I'll freeze and my mind will go blank and I won't know what to say. And I'll be like, oh, that wasn't good. That wasn't good. And I'll stop my camera and I'll stop my recorder and I'll be like, all right, let me start again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
That was a weird start. And I'll do that sometimes for hours. And for whatever reason, I have a mental block and I can't get through it. And I have a mental block for many reasons when it comes to the podcast, right? I have a mental block sometimes because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing. I sort of, in the past, have walked on eggshells a lot
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
and been afraid of people taking my words out of context and canceling me and ruining my career, which I'm less afraid of now, but I've spent many years being very afraid of. That's caused me a mental block. But also, I have definitely perfectionist tendencies. So being obsessed about whether or not every single word that comes out of my mouth is said clearly,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
When you're a kid, like a kid, like five to 10 years old, You don't really get stuck in a rut very often because, again, you don't have a frontal lobe. And you also don't have responsibilities. And there are definitely tough moments as a kid. There's some horrible moments as a kid. But you don't really get stuck in a rut when you're a kid. So the rut frequency is low.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
you know, being obsessive about what my voice sounds like. Is my throat clear? Do I need to clear my throat? Do I need to cough? You know, did I say that word weird? You know, overthinking, overthinking to a point where then I get a mental block. And then again, what happened to me yesterday was every time that I tried and failed, the idea became further away, more unreachable, more challenging.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
The concept of Just recording a podcast normally, which is something I've done a billion times, hundreds of times, not a billion yet, starting to feel like I'm getting up there. But even though I've done it a million times, it started to feel like this impossible task. And I started to lose hope that it was even possible for me to do it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And again, I think that that's the same thing that you're dealing with here, okay? Going back to the question, finally, you're stuck in the house. You've gotten used to it, okay? Because day in and day out, you've made the decision, I'm just going to stay home. Now the idea of going out is more daunting than ever. And so you don't even know where to start because you have lost...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
hope in doing activities outdoors. You've lost hope in what sort of joy or fulfillment that might bring you because you're so focused on the comfort of being indoors. And so if I were you, what I would do is, number one, try to shift your perspective because I think we can actively do that. You know, it can be incredibly helpful to just sit down sometimes and
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Try to look at things in a new way, right? Try to erase your perspective and create a new one. So that would be my first piece of advice, perhaps step one. And then step two would be to make a list of all of the things that you could possibly do that fall under the category of getting out more, going to the grocery store, hanging out with your grandma, going and volunteering somewhere.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Like there's, of course, a billion options, right? Write down as many as you can think of and then highlight, let's say, your eight to 10 favorites that seem the most exciting and the most inspiring to you that are the least daunting. And then make it a goal in the next week two weeks I want to do two of these activities, or in the next month I want to do eight of these activities, or whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
Make some sort of goal for yourself that... that feels good, and go from there. Again, that's a plan, an actionable plan, and I think it is important to have an actionable plan, but I think majority of the issue here is actually having sort of a mental block. And I think making a plan aside, and as impactful as that is aside,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
What's really going to help you is to just prove to yourself that you can because I have a suspicion that you sort of feel like you can't, you know? And so just doing one thing out of the house once this week that's sort of out of your comfort zone is the hardest step, but is honestly solving probably 75% of the problem.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
And then you get into your teenage years and into your young adult years. And, whoa, it feels like you're stuck in a rut all the time, which I think sort of makes sense because... Oh my God, there's a lot of changes happening. You're having a lot of thoughts and feelings for the first time because your frontal lobe is developing. It's a really tough time. It's a really confusing time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
stuck in a rut, advice session [video]
It's just proving to yourself that you can do it and that you can find some sort of joy and fulfillment in it and that it's not uncomfortable and it's not a nightmare. Or it might be a little bit uncomfortable, but it's not as uncomfortable as you think it's going to be. Okay, next, somebody said, how to get out of a rut?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
In my opinion, summer is the most challenging season to style, fashion-wise. And I know what you're thinking. Emma, no, winter is the most challenging season to style. I disagree, okay? At least with winter, you can layer things. Yes, it is challenging to look chic during the winter because you're layering four or five different pieces of clothing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Like, let's say I wore that with a little cute pair of like white shorts. No, no. A little pair of like black short shorts underneath and like a little cute white scrunchie sock and like a little cute black flat. Cute, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
But I think what's cool about a tunic is that because it's not in the zeitgeist, because it's not trendy, by simply wearing that silhouette, you're doing something different. You're doing something unique. I'm not seeing people wearing tunics, okay? It's a very unique shape. Like having a little short peeking out of a tunic, that is a unique... A mini dress is not necessarily as unique, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
We see mini dresses all the time. But a little tunic with a little short sticking out the bottom, that's unique. You don't see that all the time. So it's a sort of like a simple recipe for a unique outfit during the summer. And again, the opportunities are endless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And I bet right now, if you were to go online onto like any resale site and look up vintage tunic and just scroll through, you're probably going to find a lot of cool things. Because again, this is not something that's trendy in the zeitgeist.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And another thing I like about it as well is that, you know, wearing like a little tunic with a little pair of shorts under, you get the feel of sort of a mini dress, but it's number one, more unique, as I've said 10 times now, but it also is more flexible.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Like you could do a cartwheel in that because you're not worried about your little underwear showing or whatever, or, you know, your little butthole if you're not wearing underwear, which is a If you're wearing little shorts under the tunic, you can do a cartwheel, you can do the splits, you can twerk, you can dance, and you just have a bit more flexibility, right? Which I personally love.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Okay, moving on to a specific material that's really fun for the summertime. which is knit tops. I see on Pinterest, I see so many cute summery knit tops, like little knit tank tops that have like little cute buttons on them or, you know, like little knit tank tops that have beautiful sort of patterns or sort of knit patterns.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
like, you know, various different knit colors going on at once to make like sort of a beautiful sort of heathered effect, like so many different beautiful knit tank top-ish sort of tops. Now, the only thing to be aware of is that I've worn knit pieces during the summer, okay? And knit is not the most breathable material, okay? So I will warn you, all right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
It might not be something that you gravitate towards the most because depending on where you live in the climate, it's often a bit suffocating. It's great for nighttime, though. I will say, knit tops during the summer at nighttime is great, okay? It keeps your core a bit warmer just in case there's a little... summer evening breeze.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
You know, a lot of times the knit material does look and feel a bit more elevated. So it works great at nighttime if you want to be dressed up a bit. It's a great nighttime piece. It can work during the day. It can be cute if it's maybe a bit thinner of a knit or lighter of a knit. But I don't know. I just would be mindful. Like, don't go and fill your closet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I've been struggling with being fashionable during the summer for many years. And through my struggles, I think I've come up with some methods of how to feel chic during the summer while still feeling comfortable because that's the thing. A lot of people on Instagram look really chic during the summer, but I can guarantee you they are so uncomfortable that
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Don't go order like five knit tops for the summer. You know what I mean? Like, Be mindful about it because it might not be the thing that you gravitate towards the most. But wow, so many cute options. Next, short sleeve structured button up tops. Now, when I say structured, I don't necessarily mean structured in like, well, it's like a corset.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
There's like boning in it or it's super tight and like snatched. I more mean structured in, I actually shouldn't have used the word structured. I should have used the word tailored. Okay. Like not a boxy button up top, but rather a structured, nope, tailored, tailored button up top. Okay. I have one in my closet. That's a great example. I'll describe it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
It's a black, super thin button up short sleeve collared shirt. It has a beautiful little fabric, like flower almost on the center. It looks like kind of like a rose, but it's in the same black sort of thin material as the rest of the top. It's super chic and tailored. It's actually really comfortable for hot weather because the
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
fabric is quite thin but it's very elevated so like it would be a great top to wear to like a summer brunch or like a summer little event or you know to to like a meeting during the summer it's lightweight and comfortable but due to the structure due to the buttons due to the collar it's It's chic. I also have another sort of like button up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
It's more of a sort of thicker, more dressy, like tight knit sort of like, I don't even know what that material would be called. It's like blazer material. Like if you were to buy like a blazer or like a dress coat and it's a button up tank top. that kind of flares out at the bottom. That's another great sort of more elevated button-up summer option. Due to the material, it's a bit less summery.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Like the last one I described is thin, so it's nice. But this still can work for summer. Perhaps at night, perhaps at a meeting, perhaps if it's not that hot on that particular day. but I think it's nice to have some more elevated options. It's just really hard to find during the summer because again, it's so hot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
You just want to wear like a white, thin ribbed tank top, you know, like that's all you really want to wear. So it can be hard to figure out like, oh fuck, like I'm going to brunch and it's a nice sort of restaurant. Like I want to dress up or like I'm going to, I don't know, like a cocktail event or something. I don't know. It can be hard. So I think that's a great top option.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Next, super thin long sleeves. Okay, super thin. Now, the only challenge with this is that a lot of times it can be a bit revealing of the breast. You know, you might see nipple. So you might... Have to kind of layer like, well, I mean, you might not care, which is great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
But if you do care, which I know, you know, a decent portion of you probably do, you know, you might have to wear sort of a some sort of bra underneath or like a thin tank top underneath to sort of not make it as revealing because a lot of times like a thin long sleeve is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
It's not fully transparent, but yeah, you can see a bit of body, which is sometimes hot and great, but sometimes not what you're looking for. But oh my God, I've seen... I love a really thin, dainty, sort of long sleeve, tight during the summer. So chic with like... I don't know, with like, with anything.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
If you see someone wearing a gorgeous sundress with a corset and a boot on and a beautiful big sunglass and a headscarf, they're sweating. The corset is like drenched in sweat. They have blisters in the boot because hot weather in a boot is a terrible combination. A lot of people look really chic on Instagram during the summer, but I can guarantee they're uncomfortable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
It's so chic, but it's probably more of an evening look, you know, or like a cooler sort of day look. Or like if you're on a boat or something, perhaps, and there's a bit more wind. Not that going on a boat is like, I don't know, like who has a boat, okay? But you get what I mean. You know what? I usually end up on a boat at least once per summer. I don't know how.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
It's usually not something I organized. Okay, that's for sure. But I usually end up on a boat once. And that is the time to wear a slightly longer sleeve because it's windy sometimes. Okay, and last but not least in the top category is... Another great option for adding layers, adding dimension, but not adding heat is to find things, and I don't have a word for this category of layering piece.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I call these things toppers, okay? Because it's not a top. but it's like a topper for the top. You put it on top of the top and you probably wouldn't wear it on its own. You know, it's almost exclusively a layering piece, but it's a cool thing to have around because you can throw it on top of, you know, basic tops and add a bit of intrigue. I have a lace one that I talk about a lot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
It's like, you know, it's a little lace mock neck, super cropped, like cropped right beneath the breast, sort of tank top. And it's completely sheer lace. It's gorgeous. I throw it on top of stuff and it just is always a vibe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
There's also, I've seen a lot of different sort of like either knit sort of bralette looking things or beaded sort of bralette looking things that can be really gorgeous to throw on top of tank tops or on top of a bralette or something to sort of, again, like add some texture. And you can't really wear those things by themselves. I mean, you could. Listen, don't let me stop you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
But, you know, you can't go to work in that, right? You can't go to school in that. And we're being realistic here. So it's a cool thing to throw on top of a basic tank top. Also, if you find cute bikini tops that could sort of double as a topper, if you will, great. I'm all about layering bras on top of tops, bikinis on top of tank tops. That could be cool and interesting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
It's definitely a bit on the trendier side of things, but... I think it's fun. Like it doesn't bother me. The reason why it doesn't bother me is because... Here's my take. You're taking something like a bikini top, right? Or a bralette. Something that you can style in a trillion different ways. And you're putting it on top of your shirt, which then makes it a bit more trendy. Yes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
But you're going to be able to wear the bralette or the bikini top or the topper in a bunch of different other ways. So that's what makes it okay in my eyes is that... These are versatile pieces, you know? And maybe the way that you're styling it is a bit more trendy, but I'm more against trendy purchases because those are things that are going to end up in the donate bin a bit too soon.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
That's something that I advise against. Again, shop however you want. I don't care. But... That is something that I advise against. However, styling things in a way that's trendy, I don't really see anything wrong with that. If you're taking two pieces that by themselves are versatile and maybe a bit more timeless, then you're putting them together in a more trendy way. Like, who cares?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Because you can then style them in a new trendy way in a year down the line because they're versatile pieces. Another fun sort of top or layering option would be like wide mesh tops, okay? I would actually argue that this is a timeless material. It's definitely trendy right now, but I think it's something that'll always look good. Like a mesh tank top, like big wide mesh, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Or like big wide knit where you can like see directly through it, right? Almost like a basketball hoop kind of, you know, like a basketball hoop has all the holes, like something like that. Cute, okay? Tank top, maybe a little dress. I mean, we're not talking about dresses right now, but like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And that's not what we want. Okay, that's unrealistic. So my guide to summer clothing isn't just a guide on how to look cute, how to feel fashionable, but also how to be comfortable. Because that's the element that I think is the hardest to accomplish. in summer. Cute, chic, fashionable, but also comfortable. It's possible. It's possible. Trust me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I don't know I think that is a timeless sort of look and it's great for summer like I used to have I think I donated it but because I cropped it too short that was a huge mistake I made um many years ago was like cropping everything like I'd buy something and crop it immediately and now I'm so sad because you know I like grew out of that style I didn't like cropped clothes anymore and then I was like well I can't wear this stuff anymore I don't like it anymore
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
But anyway, I had this gorgeous like maroon sort of tank top where the neck and the arm holes were like thick. They were like thick sort of maroon, I don't know, band. There was like a thick band. But then the rest of the top was sort of like... almost looked like a knit basketball hoop. It had big holes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I could layer it over bralettes, over bathing suits, over tank tops, over t-shirts, anything, and it would just add interesting dimension. Another interesting option would be vests. Now, I know what you're thinking. Emma, vests, that's hot, that's warm. Now, the vest category is far more expansive than I think we give it credit for. There are so many different, unique vest options.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Like, I think we tend to just think of the sweater vest, but there are so many more vest options, okay? Like, you could get sort of, if you're somebody who likes maybe more of a Western sort of aesthetic, you could get like sort of a retro, like cool sort of lightweight vest. Western-y sort of vest, you know, like that's maybe sort of cropped or whatever and has like a tie in the center.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
You could perhaps find like maybe a thin sort of knit vest that like buttons up in the center. You could find perhaps like a cottony sort of sweatshirt-y sort of zip-up vest. Like, I don't know. There's so many different options that I don't even know where to begin. But don't write off the vest category. There are a lot of different interesting lightweight vest options and could be a summer vibe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And last but not least, I think having some cute bralettes and bras that you don't mind having exposed can be really nice to have. Like having bralettes that you think are cute, you know, where like if you're wearing a tank top and the tank top's kind of sheer and you can kind of see it through it, like you're cool with that. I actually personally haven't found any that I really like.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I also tend to go braless as much as possible, even if I got a little nip going. I don't know. I have like some really simple like triangle bralettes that they're not like giving me boob support, but they're at least sort of...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
protecting the areola from from other people's gaze okay yeah I don't know I'm still I'm personally still on the hunt for like cute bras that I'm excited to have exposed I haven't really looked that hard though either just because I am such like a braless girl for the most part but I think that can be a really great staple to have in your closet if you're you live in a
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
So without further ado, Emma's guide to summer clothing. Let's begin. I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Dove's new plant milk cleansing collection. You know how I love my little treats, and I feel the same way about treating my skin in the shower. So I give my skin what it's craving with Dove's plant milk collection body washes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
All right, let's move on to bottoms. Some staple bottoms to have in your wardrobe, starting with shorts. Obviously, denim shorts are a summer classic. You can't go wrong with summer shorts, okay? I've been sort of on this journey recently of rediscovering the denim short because for five years, I was wearing pretty much the same few pairs of denim shorts. And then...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I ended up donating majority of them because they were either too small or they were starting to rip in places where it was like, I don't know what to do about this, which in retrospect, I probably could have fixed that. And that's a lesson I just learned right now. But anyways, I got rid of majority of my denim shorts to mainly make space for ones that like, fit me better. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Like I used to like tighter denim shorts that like really squeeze the booty. And as I've grown up and hopefully gotten a bit more of a booty. Okay. Probably not, but maybe a little bit. I'm looking for something that's a bit looser. I'm looking for something that fits me better now. Right? Like I don't need a tight booty short like that for denim shorts.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
There's other shorts that I like to be little booty short tight shorts, but denim, no, that's not what I like. So I got rid of everything. And I've been over the last few months sort of trying to find shorts that I like. And all of the denim shorts, I'm only shopping vintage. To me, there are so many amazing denim shorts out there. already vintage.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I just, to me, I can't justify buying a new pair. And I also think that they look better. So my suggestion is go to the flea markets, go to the vintage stores and try on a bunch of vintage denim shorts. Okay. You're going to get a natural looking wash that's timeless, which is what we should all be, you know, striving for. Actually, I'm not going to tell you what you should be striving for.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Strive for whatever the fuck you want. All right, if you want 90s acid wash, tight little booty shorts, don't let me get in the way. But I think the most, my favorite type of denim shorts are any sort of, I don't know, just vintage, naturally worn in sort of shorts. And honestly, you can't go wrong with any length. That's the other thing that's cool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Like go to the flea markets, go to the vintage shops, go to the thrift stores and just try on a bunch of shorts and like let it find you, you know? Like I have some short shorts, like some shorter shorts, baggier shorty shorts, sort of. I have some longer ones that go down to the knee. Like I've been finding various different lengths, various different washes. And it's been fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
You know, it's been fun. It's been a journey. It's been a journey. It's taken months and months and months to find because it's almost like finding a wedding dress. You know, it's like you got to wait. And it's almost like the shorts will find you. But that's my recommended method of finding denim shorts. Buy them secondhand and just let them find you in a way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And I don't even have a suggestion for length. Like it's whatever you like. Like I think you could go all the way down to the knee. That's cute. You could go short with your little booty hanging out. I don't care. All of it's cute. All of it's cute. I'm about all of it. Another great option is work pant cutoffs, okay? Any work pant will do, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Something more like a Dickie, something more like a Carhartt. It doesn't matter. You know, like a 50s style sort of work pant. Some of my favorite pants of all time. Anytime I find like a 50s, 60s male pair of work pants, okay? that was for a shorter man who was maybe 5'5", I am buying them. Okay. I love, it's my favorite type of pants of all time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I'm actually starting to see some brands like remake them. And it's exciting to me because I don't, they're kind of hard to find sometimes. And I just love that pant. Anyways, like a simple, like Chino, straight leg, kind of wide leg sort of, you know, pant. Love them long, but also love them as cutoffs. I have a pair of gray 50s work pant cutoffs that I just recently found that I'm obsessed with.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I'm so excited to wear them. I also just took a pair of black canvas, like Dickie-like pants that I got vintage or secondhand. I actually don't think they were vintage. They were just thrifted. I thrifted them. And they kind of fit weird. Like whoever owned them before me got them tailored. And I didn't notice the weird sort of tailoring on them when I bought them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
But as I wore them over and over again, I noticed that like they were tailored weird. So they kind of fit weird and had some weird creases. And so I cut them into super short shorts. Because the tailoring was fine, coochie up, but coochie down, like the legs were fitting kind of weird. So anyway, I turned them into shorts. Love little dicky sort of cut off shorts. Cute.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And what I like about work pant cutoff shorts is that they're a bit more interesting than denim shorts. Not that I'm, I think denim shorts are great, okay? But a work pant cutoff is a bit different. It's a bit more unusual. It's a bit less common, but equally as comfortable, equally as versatile, and yeah, love. Moving on to cotton slash knit soft sort of shorts.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Okay, imagine like a little pair of crocheted cute little shorts with like a little tie around the waist or like a 50 style bikini bottom short board, short bikini bottom. That's like, you know, maybe a bright color like red or green with like a white waistband with like a little tie around the waist or like a little pair of soft sort of boxer shorts or like a pair of like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
soft sort of like florally little knit little you get what I'm saying like little cute light cottony knit sort of little shorts they can be tight they can be loose but they're always short shorts that is the key characteristic I would say I mean, you can get longer ones too, cute, but that's not really what I'm talking about here, okay? I love little shorty shorts like this. I do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Ooh, another great example that I forgot to mention, like a little yoga short, like a little fold over waistband yoga short, okay? Cute. I have a black pair, wear them all the time. Wear them all the time, they're great. I honestly think this is where you can really have fun with shorts. Like this is where you find the statement short, right? Because the options are endless, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
You're kind of hidden behind a puffer jacket and a balaclava and a scarf and gloves. but at least you can layer, okay? During the summer, I go into my closet to get dressed and I'm like, I don't want to wear anything. I want to be nude.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
With denim or like a work pant, it's for the most part, neutrals, canvas-y denim. It's very simple, right? This category of shorts, fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
the the party i mean it's just it's just a party with this type of shorts okay you can get striped ones you can get polka dot ones you can get ones with a contrasting waistband or a little tie you can get ones that are tight and like lift the booty up you can get ones that are loose and flowy like the options are endless i i don't even know where to begin i think the only the
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
piece of advice I can give you when searching for shorts like this is ones that number one, show an amount of booty that you're comfortable with. Like if you buy shorts that wear your buttholes out a little bit too much, you're showing a little bit too much hole, you're not going to want to wear those. If you love showing hole and that's what you're comfortable with, okay, great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I think what it really comes down to is having the right staple pieces in your closet. So let's walk through what I think are some key staple summer pieces, starting with tops. Okay, what I'm about to tell you is the obvious, but it has to be said anyway. Basics during the summer are the best, okay? Basic tank tops, basic loose tops, light t-shirts, they're simple, but they are staples.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Then now you bought little booty shorts where you're showing hole and now you're happy. It's about finding how much hole you want to show. Okay. Also, a material that's comfortable, all right? Like, you don't want... Listen, sometimes these cute little knit cottony shorts are tight. That's fine. That can actually be comfortable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
But you want to make sure that the material is breathable enough for you, that the material doesn't chafe. It's not like a sort of rough material that might chafe. I actually had this gorgeous, oh my God, I'm actually kind of heartbroken that I donated these.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I donated them when I did like my huge closet clean out like a while ago now, but I regret, this is like one of the only things I regret donating. I've posted these shorts online, so you might have seen them before. They were like a gorgeous pair of red sort of board shorts. They had a white waistband, a little tie around the waist, white rings around the leg holes, but they were red.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
They were so gorgeous. But the material, they were really vintage. And the material back then was very thick and very rough. And they were so gorgeous. I regret donating them. I honestly like I love those shorts so much. I shouldn't have donated them. But I hope that somebody out there is is wearing them and loving them. That's the only thing that allows me to sleep at night about those shorts.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I feel fucking sick that I donated them. I shouldn't have. I don't regret almost anything else that I donated. But those shorts, huge mistake. Like, huge. I actually can't think about it anymore. We have to change the subject. But the reason why I donated those was because the material was so thick, it was a bit uncomfortable, to be honest. They weren't super breathable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
They weren't super... I don't know. Yeah, like it just... They chafed a bit, and that's why I got rid of them, but I regret it every day. I also got rid of a pair of like sort of cottony, puffy, sort of like... boxer looking shorts because they look terrible on the butt. That's another thing to be careful of.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
You know, you see all these girls, myself included, on Instagram in these cute little boxer looking shorts. They're not always the most flattering. So Be mindful. Turn around in the mirror and look at your butt before you buy a cute little pair of like cottony boxery shorts. Moving on to activewear shorts. Very trendy, especially in the last few years.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Like I can't tell you how many how many little athletic little shorts I've seen with like a little moto boot or like a little ballet flat. I mean, that was all the rage the last few years. But I think you can't go wrong with that type of short. I mean, I particularly love like a vintage pair.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And there are so many vintage pairs of like little athletic shorts that have like little stripes on the side. You know, the whole thing. In a classic color like navy or red or green. It's just cute. You know, you can't go wrong. But there's actually good ones that aren't vintage as well. Like you can get new pairs everywhere.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
that are cute and probably are in a more breathable material, to be honest. A lot of the vintage little athletic shorts are not breathable at all. And that's my only issue with them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
But if you size up a size or two, you'll be fine, you know, because the wind will pass through, you know, because it's a bit... But if you want something maybe a bit tighter and athletic, probably maybe a newer pair that's a bit more breathable. But anywho... Last but not least in the short category, longer dressier shorts slash capris. Okay, I'm putting this all into one category.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
For less hot days or, you know, fancier evenings, these are a go-to and so underrated. Okay, like you could do like a boxy sort of long dress pant style short, like something that's almost in like a dress pant material that has sort of that boxy pleated sort of dress pant vibe, but it's in a short. So chic. I love, I have a pair of black ones that I absolutely love, wear all the time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
They're, you know, definitely more of a masculine silhouette, super boxy, but I think so chic and so cool. And paired with like, you know, maybe a more dainty top or like a more sort of, not dainty necessarily, but like maybe a more simple, perhaps revealing sort of top can be a really nice juxtaposition. Or like a straight leg, sort of capri-like short.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Okay, I have a pair of cream ones that... I mean, I can't really tell if they're a capri or a short because they just hit the knee. And they're a bit less boxy than the last pair that I described, more of a straight leg, but not skin tight. These are definitely a bit more feminine than the first one I described. But yeah, equally as awesome. Sort of like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And there are ways to make them more interesting, okay? You know, I think for one, having interesting colored t-shirts and tank tops. Like, for example, in my closet, I know what colors look good on me. So I have tank tops and t-shirts in those colors. I know blue looks good on me. I know olive green looks good on me. I know gray looks good on me. I know white looks good on me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I don't know, the straight leg, I think, can look very elegant and have like the perfect balance of masculine and feminine sort of silhouette going at once. But another option would be like a tight, almost legging-like sort of capri slash... I guess at that point, it's not really short. It's more of a capri. But yeah, like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
You could also go biker short length, but any sort of like legging-like tight short or capri in some sort of more dressier sort of material. I think chic. Some people are really against the biker short length. In fact, I was for a long time. But I've actually been proven wrong. I've seen it work. I've seen it work quite a few times. So I'm not against it anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
The thing I love about this category specifically is that they look really interesting and intriguing, even if they're in like a simple color, like black or cream or gray, just because the longer, short, capri sort of silhouette is in itself maybe less common, not something you see as much. You know, you see more skirts and dresses out there. You don't see a long short as often.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
So it's it's unique in itself. But also it can look really they can look really cool with a pattern, you know, perhaps a polka dot, perhaps, you know, a stripe, perhaps a plaid, perhaps a gingham or something like gingham. I don't think I like gingham. Do I like gingham? I do like gingham. I actually do. Okay, so gingham. I had to Google gingham because I was like, I think I know what that is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
It's like super small checkerboard-ish sort of plaid. Anyway, just in case you forgot what gingham was like I did, which is kind of scaring me that I forgot what that is. Anyway, but yeah, like the opportunities are endless. Moving on to skirts, okay? I think my favorite summer skirt category would be the long, flowy, lightweight skirt, okay? And I actually didn't own any prior to recently.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Like when I did my big closet clean out, I got rid of any sort of lightweight skirt that I had. And so I was sort of like this summer rolled around and I was like, wait a minute. All of my skirts are super thick. Like I have a lot of cute skirts, but they're so thick that I can't wear them during the summer. I'm suffocating.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
So I've been sort of on the hunt for lightweight, longer skirts, and I found one. I'm trying to remember if I found any more. No, I think I just found one that I'm really happy with. I'm like, this is good. I'll just wear this skirt all summer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
It's like a silky sort of thin, minty green sort of skirt that at the top has like, it almost looks like it has little boxer shorts coming out the top that are light brown gingham with little buttons. Yeah. Super sweet, super timeless. I wore it to Coachella. Cute. And I wore it to Coachella and it stood the test, okay? I was not hot in that skirt at all. It was so breathable, but it was long.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And I liked that it was long because I was like, sometimes you don't want to show legs. Sometimes you're not in the mood. And I think it can look really beautiful and elegant and timeless to wear like a thin, long skirt during the summer. But the main...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
differentiating factor with these long skirts versus like just any long skirt is that the thin materials key right because otherwise it is like a greenhouse for for your butthole if you're wearing like a thick long skirt during the summer it's not comfortable It is literally like a greenhouse. It's just heat under there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
You lift up the skirt and it's like a fucking plume of hot air will hit anyone walking by if you lift that fucking skirt. It's just gross. So I had never really thought about it before, but yeah, I think it's not excessive actually to have some thick skirts and some thinner, lighter skirts in your wardrobe because when it comes to the category of longer skirts...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
seasonally the the thickness makes a huge difference whereas like with a mini skirt which we'll talk about next it's less of a big deal because it's such a small amount of material it's like who cares who cares you know what i'm saying but for anything knee length and longer which i would consider a longer skirt right
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I know black looks good on me. I know brown sometimes looks good on me. So, you know, I have one of each tank top and T-shirt in every color that I know looks good on me. Right. Now, to make it more interesting, there are many things you can do, okay? You can find tank tops and t-shirts that have something sort of sentimental on them for you, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
knee length and longer even though I mean it's technically like a midi skirt but I think anything longer than a mini skirt to me is a long skirt which might be kind of wrong thinking but anyway and I think when it comes to skirts like these long skirts it can be really fun to sort of pick some beautiful materials right like my skirt is silky which is really a beautiful material um
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Or really light sort of plaid sort of fabric, like knit sort of plaid, thin though, thin knit fabric. Spit it out, Emma. Maybe a really beautiful linen. I don't know, like even experiment with different patterns. Like I think... a lot of times a long skirt can be sort of a statement in a way because it is such a large piece of fabric.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
It really, when somebody's looking at your outfit, it takes up so much space that I think, you know, it can be fun to have that be sort of more of a statement, perhaps with a pattern of sorts, any sort of pattern that you like. But moving on to mini skirts, to be honest, I don't even know how to give direction on a mini skirt. Like, I don't even know what to say about a miniskirt.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
There are just so many options. And, like, my only thing is I actually don't find miniskirts to be the most comfortable, which is why I don't have very many in my wardrobe. I just find that, like, a lot of times I don't feel like I can move in them. Like, I'm scared of lifting a leg because my undies might be out, you know? Like... I don't feel like I can move in them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And that is an issue I have with them. However, comfortable ones do exist. I have a few in my closet. I have two really cute little knit sort of little skirts that are like kind of pleated, have a little waistband tie. They're sweet. They're cute. They're comfortable. I love them. I don't wear them very often for some reason, but they are in my closet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I think when it comes to miniskirts, just find one that's comfortable and that you're going to wear for years to come. Okay. Nothing too trendy. And then I, that's my only advice. And last but not least, sheer skirts, okay, that can be worn as a bikini cover-up or layered over other skirts or pants for added dimension.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I've seen some really cute, like, long sheer lace skirts that people have, you know, put over cute little shorts or over their bikini. I've seen really gorgeous, like... sort of mesh, like wide knit mesh sort of long skirts that are cute as a cover up or over little shorts or even over pants. It can be a really cool layering opportunity. Moving on to long pants.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Okay, there are almost no long pants that I suggest for summer. During the summer, I'm sorry, I don't wanna wear pants. There's almost no scenario where pants make sense, especially during the day. Like I see pictures of people wearing like long knit, sort of like yoga pant, almost looking pants, but they're not yoga pants because they're like knit and they're more beachy looking.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And I'm like, ooh, that to me looks sweaty, you know? The longest I'm going during the summer usually is either a really long skirt that's getting air circulated through it every few seconds because it's so breathable or like a capri. Anything longer than that, I'm like, no thanks. Even at night. However, there are two types of pants that I will wear during the summer. Okay. Actually, three.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Okay, I've been debating including the third, but I'll include it. All right, number one, light cotton or linen pants, almost like PJs. These are very trendy right now. Usually, they'll come in like a white linen or like a light blue linen or...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
You know, some sort of classic pajama pattern, like stripes or plaid or whatever, usually in pastels, whites, creams, blues, maybe even yellows or maybe a little green or a little brown or something, but pretty pastel, pretty preppy looking. Cute, comfy, breathable. I've been trying to find a pair of this type of pants that are perfect for me for a long time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
That aren't too sheer, but also aren't too thick. That also are flattering at all angles. It's tough. It's a tough one to find. However, it's definitely possible. I haven't found my own personal pair. But I've seen other people in their personal pair and I've considered even buying them off of them being like, can I just have those?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
A vacation destination that you love, a movie or TV show that you love. an animal that you love. This is all obvious stuff, but I think the best basics are things that do have a little personal element on them. Like, it's great to have a white tank top in your closet. We should all have a blank white tank top in our closet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Because I've been looking for a long time and I haven't found them and you have. So like how much can I pay you for those fucking pants? God damn it. But that's a great option because they're breathable and lightweight and summery looking. Okay, that's a great option. For nighttime, a really loose, thin dress pant. I'm talking really thin. All right, dress pants a lot of times can be thick.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I'm not talking about thick. There is a certain category of dress pants that are thin. They're still structured, but thin. I have like two pairs, I think. One like navy with white pinstripes and one just plain black pair. And they're thin enough that I actually can wear them during the summer. But I'm not really gravitating towards those during the summer usually.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I'm honestly usually gravitating towards a capri, towards a short, towards a long skirt. But there are times when you want to wear a pant and a thin dress pant can work. My last category would be like a worn, loose pair of vintage jeans, okay? With like maybe some distressing going on, California surfer vibe, loose jeans, honestly cute. With like a flip-flop, honestly love.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
With like a leathery flip-flop, like a brown leathery flip-flop, cute. Cute. But I don't know, like a lot of times if I'm going to wear a jean, I'd rather just wear a jean short during the summer. So that's why I was hesitant to include it. But I do think that a loose jean can be a great summer option for the evening time, perhaps maybe for a bonfire or something. But pants I'm usually avoiding.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Let's move on to dresses. Okay, I'm not a dress girl, notoriously. Everyone knows I'm not a dress girl. Unless I'm going to an event, then I will wear a dress because that is the dress code. And for events like that, I actually love wearing a gown. I love wearing a gown. It's interesting. I love wearing a gown. I actually feel myself in a gown.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
In a dress, like a casual dress, it never feels right for me. And I never feel like it's flattering. But I also think it's just because I, I don't know, I'm not looking hard enough. So it's hard for me to give you advice on dresses because I don't wear them very much casually. But I will say, right, like I can't tell you what to look for, but I can tell you what not to look for.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I can tell you what to avoid. I would say avoid corseted dresses, overly structured dresses, dresses that are going to suffocate you, okay? A lot of beautiful dresses out there have structure going on. They have boning. They have, you know, whatever. That's great for like spring and fall, maybe even winter because... the weather allows. And I actually don't hate a corset.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I kind of like the way it keeps my back up. I'm standing up straight. I'm perky. I'm ready. But during the summer, not a vibe. Not a vibe. You might think it'll look cute at brunch. I don't care. Find something else. Uncomfortable. Too hot. Another thing to avoid, lots of material, really poofy. There are some beautiful gowns out there that... Have some volume going.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And I think that can be great, again, for like fall, winter, maybe. Maybe spring, if you live somewhere where spring is a bit crispier out, you know, like it could work. Summer, I just think you don't want a lot of material. You don't. But another silhouette I would say to avoid would be anything really tight, like a bodycon sort of dress. During the summer, I'm not...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
But imagine a basic white tank top that says Cape Cod, Massachusetts on it. Maybe that's a town that you visited every summer when you were a kid, you know? That's a great conversation starter. That's a tank top that you'll never want to get rid of, okay? Another option, ringer tees, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I mean, it could be cute, it could work, but no, I don't know. I just don't really like that style of dress anyway. I find it so unflattering. I have never felt cute in a bodycon dress. If you love it, rock it, okay? Don't let me yuck your yum, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
But I think for the most part, that silhouette, number one, reminds me of like the TV show Jersey Shore, which by the way, one of my favorite shows. Actually, not one of my favorites, but it's a great show. But I just don't, I don't know. I don't like the, I don't think it's flattering. I don't think it's comfortable. I think it's like constricting and like, I just don't like a body con.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
But that's more of an opinion. If you love it and it's comfortable for you for the summer, don't let me stop you. Moving on to shoes, okay? I was anti flip-flop for a long time. I am no longer anti flip-flop. I am pro flip-flop. I love flip-flops. I absolutely love flip-flops. And I think everyone should have a solid pair of classic flip flops in their wardrobe for the summer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And I think it's best to just choose whatever matches your style. Okay. If you tend to dress a bit more California, like surfer girl vibe, maybe get a cute pair of like brown leathery sort of flip flops. If you are more of like, kind of like a grungier sort of Maybe more like dark fashion kid, black flip flops.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
If you are maybe somebody who like loves like maximalism, campy, like get a pair that has like a bunch of bejewels all over it. My only suggestion when it comes to flip-flops, because I think the best option is whatever feels the most to you. My only suggestion is get a pair that is completely flat on the bottom, no platform. The platform flip-flop is not that comfortable, okay? It can be cute.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I've seen it be cute. I've worn them a few times, not in a long time, but I've worn a platform flip-flop in the past. they are so not wearable. Like, listen, if you find a pair that is, okay, be my guest, and you love the platform flip-flop, sure. I'm just kind of over the platform in general as a category.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And also, I just think that they're not that comfortable and they're not that, I don't know. Listen, if you find one that you love, prove me wrong, all right? I love being proved wrong. It's great. But I would say they might be a bit too uncomfortable and a bit too trendy. Another summer shoe, clogs. We've all seen the Birkenstock clog, okay? The Boston, I believe it is. Is it Boston? Yeah.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
You know, the classic with like the little strap going over the top and it's clogged. Usually they're in taupe. By the way, those are forever. I don't think you can ever go wrong with those. But if you want a clog and you're not really into the Birkenstock ones, have no fear, okay? There are so many cool clogs out there. They are also kind of having a moment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
So like there's even more options because they're in the zeitgeist. Like people, you know, mainstream brands are making clogs. Clogs are so cool. And there's so many different variations of clogs, like more futuristic looking clogs that are like super smooth or like, you know, sort of like a gardening clog that, you know, is a bit more sort of wholesome looking.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
A ringer tee is like a little t-shirt or tank top that has a contrasting color around the neckline and around the armholes or armbands, okay? kind of 70s vibes, cute, okay? It's a subtle little detail. It's timeless. You'll be able to wear that for the rest of your life, but it's something a little bit more interesting. You could also find basics that have a unique element, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
It looks like something an art teacher would wear or obviously somebody who likes gardening. You know, there are clogs that have like... cute, you know, like wood soles and like have cute little buckle details. Like there's so many different types of clogs out there. And I think clogs are really cool. My only thing is try them on first.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Don't order them online or order them online if you can return them because clogs can be really hit or miss on comfort. Like it's a finicky type of shoe. A flip-flop less so. Flip-flops are almost always comfortable as long as they're flat on the bottom. Clogs are hit or miss. So I would recommend trying on. Uh, next retro sneakers with a pop of color. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
This is the time to go get that sneaker you've been wanting. If it's like summertime and you're like, I need a new sneaker. This is the time to get like the cute white sneaker with the red stripes on it or to get like the bright blue sneaker with the yellow stripes on it. Like this is the time to do like the fun retro inspired, cute, bright, fun sneaker love in there forever. Um,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Those types of sneakers also look great during other seasons, but I think they shine during the summer. Next, for slightly more formal sort of events, I think it can be really nice to have a comfy, light pair of loafers, perhaps a more flexible sort of leathery material. I say leathery because it doesn't need to be leather, faux leather, of course. But
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
or whatever, but like a lighter, more flexible sort of loafer could be really nice. Or, you know, some sort of flat shoe, like not necessarily a ballet flat, but sort of a ballet-inspired flat perhaps. I think a simple, elegant sort of shoe like this that's flexible, light, comfortable, can be paired with a cute little sock, whatever. for like a bit more of a dressy moment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Like you're not probably wearing that to the beach, but like if you're going to the brunch, if you're going to a meeting, like whatever, this can be a great lightweight shoe that allows your foot to breathe. Won't cause a blister because it's a thin, more malleable material, but looks elevated and sharp, you know? And last but not least, a little kitten heel for the nighttime.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And that's a problem because in order to style yourself in a way that feels interesting and fashionable, a lot of times you need to put a lot of pieces on your body, you know? A plain t-shirt and little shorts and little flip-flops, that's cute, right? But that's not necessarily super fashionable, super interesting a lot of the times, right? It's basic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I'm finally at a point now in my life where I'm like, you know what? I'm ready to wear a little heel on my own time. Prior to the last year, I was like, I'm not wearing a heel unless I'm going to an event. If I'm going to dinner with friends, I'm not wearing a little heel. But I've been recently like kind of wanting that sort of feminine foot moment. I don't know why.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Like I've just been kind of craving. I don't know. Like it's just been like appealing to me like, huh, a little like sexy kitten heel. Like I'm into it. I'm ready for that. So like a little slingback kitten heel, you can't go wrong. I have a pair of black ones that I just got because I literally did not own heels up until recently.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And then I've had this pair of maroon ones for a while and I have those as well. I'm good. That's all I need. Red for a pop of red, black for every other time. Great. Great for like a cute little brunch. Great for a little night out. You can't go wrong with a little kitten heel. I mean, this is obvious. My only thing is I prefer a slingback.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Because I don't know how people walk around in the little kitten heels that have no strap on the back. Like, are you sliding around? I can't walk in those. I don't know how people walk in those. Anyway, moving on to outerwear. There's really only two options in my mind. I thought about it for a long time, trying to think outside the box.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
But outerwear during the summer, like before I'm going to choose outerwear, I'm going to choose like a long, a thin, long sleeve. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I'm almost never wearing outerwear, but I think the two best options are number one, a light button up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I love like a classic blue, pale blue sort of preppy button up love and like a thin sort of breathable material or, you know, any kind of button up. Maybe like a cute little plaid one, a cute little polka dot one. I don't give a fuck. That's for you to decide. There's infinite types of button ups.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Perhaps like even something that's maybe a bit more blouse-like, maybe in like a slightly softer, more sort of silky, heavy sort of material, but heavy in the way that the gravity is pulling it down, but it's still thin. Do you know what I'm saying? That's a great option or a nice thin little button-up cardigan.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I'll give some examples. I remember like a few months ago, I was shopping around and I saw Acne Studios had this gorgeous tank top, simple white tank top that had little buckle clasps on the shoulders. And it's a subtle detail that doesn't add any sort of weight or heat, right? It's still a simple light tank top, but that little detail on the shoulder gives it more personality.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
The thing I like about these two options is that number one, they're effective at keeping you warm and But number two, they're also easy to like throw around your neck. Like you can tie them around your neck comfortably and it'll look cute. Okay, because the thing about the summer is that, I don't know, like the weather is constantly changing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Like you might sit in the shade for a bit and get kind of cold and want to put on... you know, your little button up, but then you might go back into the sun and be sweating your ass off and want to take it off. So it's nice to have an outerwear that's flexible enough and light enough and thin enough to be able to throw it around your neck and have it look sort of cute and preppy in that way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I'm avoiding coats at all costs. Like, I don't know, a cute little sweater. I don't, I said button up cardigan. You could also wear like any kind of thin sweater, but I think a button up is my favorite, but any sweater that's thin, uncomfortable will do. But I just find that like a big sort of sweater during the summer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
It can kind of cover everything up It can be nice to have a sweater that's open so you can see what's underneath during the summer because you already Don't have a lot of stuff going on during the summer I think a button-up adds dimension because you can leave it open and then you can see what's underneath Whereas if you just throw this big sweater on I don't know it can kind of mask the rest of your outfit in a way
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
All right, let's move on to accessories, okay? Let's start with hat and headwear. Obviously, we have the classic baseball cap. Baseball caps are forever. Whether you're wearing a classic Ralph Lauren little baseball cap or you're wearing a baseball cap from your favorite tourist destination as a kid or...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
you know, you're wearing a weird, funny vintage baseball cap that you found like at a vintage shop or you're wearing a baseball cap for your favorite baseball team. It doesn't matter. Baseball caps are forever. My favorite are vintage ones, even though it's kind of disgusting because whenever you thrift one or get one from a vintage shop, it's like, where has this been? And did they have lice?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
But I love a worn in baseball cap. I will say a trucker hat, very similar to a baseball cap, but different. There's a flat sort of brim going. Is it called a brim? I don't know. That sort of styrofoam front with the mesh back. I have mixed feelings about a trucker hat. They're just so trendy that I see them and I'm like, I don't know, I feel like I'm on TikTok.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Every time I see one, I feel like I'm on my For You page. I just, it's really hard for me. I have a hard time finding them chic, but if you like it and you think it's fun, wear it and tell me I'm wrong, okay? That's the beauty about debate. We can debate things in this life, all right? Another option, a thin bonnet, okay? I recently sewed myself a lace bonnet and I love wearing that lace bonnet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
It's not hot. It doesn't add much heat, a little bit maybe, but like... it really is just adding dimension. And I also have bleached hair and it's kind of nice to cover the bleached hair because it's not the best for hair that's bleached to be like out in the sun all day. So putting that little lace bonnet over it, is the sun probably still like burning my hair?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Probably, but in my little cute little imagination, I think that it's protecting my bleached hair. A lace bonnet adds so much personality to an outfit or any kind of thin little bonnet. I love bonnets. I think that they're so beautiful. I think, you know, it really showcases the head shape of the person wearing it. I think it's sort of wholesome but can also be very fashion.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I love, love, love a bonnet. And speaking of a bonnet... Something kind of similar could be sort of a beautiful thin scarf. You can style a scarf on your head in so many different ways. You know, you can like tie it under the chin, very like 1950s writing in a convertible vibe. Like the options are endless. You know, it can protect your hair from the sun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
You know, it can protect your hair from the humidity. There are so many. It's actually like a useful accessory, but it's also a very beautiful accessory. Love it. And there's so many different, like you can add so much beautiful, A lot of scarves like come in so many different, like you can get a beautiful polka dot one.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Finding little basics like that, I mean, that's going to be really helpful this summer. Okay? Another example. I actually just bought... I know I say Emma doesn't shop anymore, but I do shop every once in a while. Okay? I just bought this simple cream t-shirt that fits beautifully. It actually fits kind of unique. It has like a slightly wider neck than an average t-shirt.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
You could get, you know, I keep bringing up polka dots because I love polka dots, but you could wear a beautiful floral one. You know, you could get one that's just like a simple, like a bright red. There's so many different options. Another option, straw hat. I've never liked a straw hat, but I bought one as a joke at Coachella this year. I was at the gas station.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Okay, I'll actually set the scene for you. It was day one of Coachella and I bought myself a hat that said Coachella all over it from the local gas station near Coachella. And it like says Coachella all over it. It's super corny, but I kind of loved it. And I bought it as a joke because I thought it'd be funny and we'd all wear it throughout the weekend.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Like my friends and I could all share it whenever we're outside and wanted to wear a straw hat. We could take photos with it. It's funny. And then keep it as a keepsake. Like I was like, I'll literally hang this on my wall because I think it's funny and I'll... literally wear it around my backyard during the summer. I'm not just buying this because it's a full joke.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I'll also use it because it's kind of funny. But then I fell in love with it. I was like, wait, I love a straw hat. And there are much cuter ones than mine that says Coachella on it. So I'd recommend not buying one like that. But a straw hat's a vibe. It's comfortable. It really blocks the sun out of your eyes. And there actually are some cute ones out there. Not all of them are cute.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
You know, you got to search a bit, but cute ones do exist. And I didn't think that was true, but I was proven wrong because I looked for the first time really recently after buying my Coachella one. And I was like, wait, this is a good deal. Like, this is a thing. I like this. I like this straw hat. Headbands.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I always forget about headbands, but they're such a great summer accessory because, again, they're actually functional. They can push your hair out of your face, which is nice when you're sweaty and damp and your hair wants to stick to your face. But also, again, adding some character. Fabric headbands, you know, the like 90s wire headbands, like a thick sort of lace headband.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I don't even, who cares? Any headband. But headbands can be a great way to add character without adding heat, okay? And a headband can really change the vibe of an outfit. Like don't underestimate a headband. Your outfit can go from like, oh, that's cute to like, whoa, that's really cute because of a headband. Don't underestimate the headband. Moving on to a visor. I love visors.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Sorry, I love visors. I think that they're so cute. I think that they're preppy. I think that they're fun. I think they're like a bit tongue in cheek, a bit silly, but like can actually also be really chic. I love a visor. But I think the best, if you're getting a visor, get a simple one. Get like a simple preppy little visor that's like navy blue, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I don't think the visor is the place to like get experimental, right? Like the visor is best done simply, I think. And last but not least, I have to mention it because it's like such a popular hat style for summer. I don't like them that much. I've worn them before, but I don't like them that much. Bucket hat. Listen, can it be cute? There are instances where it can be cute. It's just rare.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And I almost always think that they look kind of choogy to me for some reason. A bucket hat is like the most basic hat you can think of. If you think of like a hat that's not a baseball cap, it's probably a bucket hat. I don't know. It just doesn't click in my brain. But if it clicks in yours, go for it because it's actually a very functional hat. And there's a lot of options out there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
So I don't know. Again, don't let me yuck your yum. Okay, moving on. Glasses. For summer, I think... big glasses. And my reasoning for that is it is so bright during the summer that you want your sunglasses to fully protect the eye. You know what I mean? And like cute little, you know, like 90s little mini glasses are cute, but they're not protecting the eye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
It has a slightly more feminine cut. It's a bit... more tailored around the top half. Like it's kind of tight around the rib and the breast kind of flares out slightly on the bottom. It has a unique shape. It's not like a boxy average t-shirt or, you know, a classic tight sort of t-shirt. It's like kind of unique. And it has a beautiful pocket in the center on the front.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Like sun will still come in from above and like hurt your eyes. I love like a big glass, okay? Whether it's like a big 60s like mod glass or it's like a super futuristic sort of like, you know, very like fashion, modern fashion, like big shield-like sort of glass. I love big glasses. Or like a big, chunky, sort of like classic...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Ray-Ban sort of shape, you know, like that classic, what's that style? Wayfair, like a classic Wayfair that's like big, you know, I just think big glasses are the best for summer. Otherwise, you're not even protecting your eyes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And then when it comes to the color, I think glasses are really personal, but I do recommend getting something that you're going to be able to wear with almost anything in your closet. that might mean a black pair. That might mean a bright red pair. Maybe like everything in your closet looks good with a pop of red. That is absolutely possible.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Or maybe, you know, your color palette in your closet works best with like brown tortoiseshell. I think sunglasses, you know, I'm all about having a few pairs of sunglasses. Okay. I'm not against it. But I think like if you want to buy a staple pair, buy one that'll match everything in your closet. Buy something that's Neutral in color, but really, really unique to you in shape.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Or not even necessarily really, really unique to you in shape, but unique to you in shape. Next, jewelry. I think summer is all about colorful, fun beads and, you know, statement jewelry, like, you know, beautiful, again, beaded pieces, lots of like beautiful charms, layering a bunch of jewelry, um, having fun with like jewelry locations, like fuck it, it's summer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
We're showing ankle, do an anklet, do a toe ring, you know, add little charms to your belt loop, add little charms to your sunglasses, like add charms, like add jewelry to everything. I think jewelry really shines during the summer because there's so much skin showing and jewelry really shines when it's on skin, right? Like jewelry looks cute, kind of hidden behind,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
a collared shirt, I guess, or like peeping out of a wrist, but like jewelry shines during the summer because it has the perfect canvas. And I think finding statement jewelry that feels you is, it's such a fun way to express yourself during the summer. And there are endless options, you know, like you can do like a little rope necklace that has like a Wear a bunch of fucking friendship bracelets.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I don't care. Like, just have fun with it. It's summer, you know? But I love the idea of a toe ring and an anklet. I might do that this summer. And then last but not least, let's discuss some miscellaneous accessories, okay? Starting with belts.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Okay, I think really colorful statement belts are great for the summer because you can wear like a white tank top, classic shorts, like denim shorts, and then throw on a fun belt. Boom, you got a vibe. You know, perhaps like thicker belts. Why not? It's summer. I don't know. I think statement belts are really fun for summer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
As well as my last accessory, fun socks, like a tube sock with like cute little retro stripes on it. cute. And again, you're showing leg during the summer. This is the time to like have a fun sock or like a thin lace sock, like gorgeous, or maybe sort of like tonal socks that match your outfit. I don't know. You can have fun with socks because people are seeing them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
During the winter, no one's seeing your socks. During the fall even, no one's really seeing your socks. It's during the spring and summer that it's really time to have fun with the socks. And to finish off this episode, I'm going to give you some example outfits. Like I'm going to give you a scenario and then share like a suggested outfit for that scenario. Starting with for the beach. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
You know, normally a pocket t-shirt, it's like a little pockets on the side. But Not this t-shirt. The pocket's in the center. It's unique. It's a little quirky. It's a little silly. I hate the word quirky, but I just said it. It's a t-shirt, but that little detail makes it unique. Finding tank tops and t-shirts that have little details like that, so great for summer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Example of a phenomenal beach outfit to me would be white tank. All right. Simple, thin, white tank. That's kind of see-through so you can kind of see the bikini through it. Cute. Okay. with some denim shorts, loose, okay? Or, you know, work pant cutoffs, just some sort of loose, comfy, durable pants, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Because you want to wear durable pants to the beach because you're like roughing it in the sand and stuff and you don't want to like, I don't know, there's something about... thicker shorts that just work better at the beach, in my opinion. Like you can sit in the sand and you're not going to stain them. You're not going to rip them. They're just durable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Like sand is very abrasive and like sitting in dainty little shorts. I don't know. It just can sometimes like damage it. I don't know. Anyway, heavy duty shorts, denim, work pant cutoffs, whatever. Maybe with a Maybe with a little baseball hat, okay? A cute little retro-y baseball hat with some cute big glasses and some flip-flops. Fuck it. Can I be honest?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
The outfit I just described is not that cute. But it could be cute. If every little element... is interesting and unique to you, it could be a cute outfit. Does that make sense? It could be interesting. Let's move on to a running errands outfit. An outfit for going to the farmer's market, for going to the grocery store, for going to the post office. I don't know what you're doing. Running errands.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Okay. Starting with a unique shaped top, maybe a halter top perhaps. Paired with a loose, flowy, longer skirt, okay? Perhaps with a light sock and a clog. We're going a bit wholesome for errands today. Paired with some big glasses. And if we're feeling really fashionable, perhaps a little bonnet. Perhaps a little bonnet, okay? Moving on to a brunch outfit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Let's start with a thin knit top with unique details, perhaps little buckles on it or little buttons on it or, you know, just something that makes it unique. Maybe an interesting color or an interesting pattern, you know, because it's knit. So there's a bunch of whatever. Paired with dressy capri length dress pants slash long shorts, either or.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Also with a lace bonnet if you're feeling very fashionable on that particular day. with some huge glasses, an anklet, and a kitten heel. Comfortable, but absolutely chic. Now, what about a night out outfit? Oh, don't worry. This is the simplest one yet. Chic button-up short sleeve, thin material, breathable, cute, okay? Perhaps with a light little sweater tied around your neck, just in case.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Paired with some super light dress pants or another capri, if it's a bit warm, with a little kitten heel. It's that simple, all right? And that's it. That's Emma's guide to summer clothing. And to some of you, all this might've been obvious, but to some of you, this might've been helpful. And that's all I could ever ask for. And if you enjoyed this episode, tune in again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I'm here every Thursday and Sunday, all right? I'm here to hang out twice a week. So come hang out with me if you want, or hang out with another podcaster if you don't like me. And that's totally fine. I love to see the industry of podcasting thrive. So you don't need to hang out with me. Just hang out with some sort of podcaster.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Because again, it's not adding... It's adding detail in dimension without adding layers, which is very important. But I also do love layering t-shirts and tank tops on top of each other. There are so many different options. It can sometimes be a bit tricky if it's really hot out. Like if it's 100 degrees, you're not going to want to layer two tank tops on top of each other.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Anything Goes is available anywhere you stream podcasts, videos on Spotify and YouTube. Anything Goes is on social media everywhere at Anything Goes. I'm everywhere on the internet at Emma Chamberlain and my coffee company is called Chamberlain Coffee and you can find it in various places if you want it. If you want to find it, you will. And that's all I have for today. I love you all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
I appreciate you all. It's always so much fun to sit back, relax and chat with you. You might not be relaxing while you're listening though. Like for all I know, you could be on like the Stairmaster or something or like doing like at home Pilates. I don't know what you're doing. Or you could be trying to do homework, but also listen to me simultaneously. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
You could be doing something hard. But for me, I get to sit back, relax, and talk to you. And it's a joy. And I hope that you enjoy it as much as I do. And I will talk to you in a few days. Peace, love, and prosperity, baby. I love you all. Talk soon.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
You're not going to want to layer a tank top on top of a tight t-shirt, right? Like that's too hot. But if it's like 78, sure. Layering, you know, say... a white tank top under a black tank top, layering two slightly different green T-shirts and tank tops for kind of more of a monochromatic thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
The options are endless, but that dimension is really cool and takes, you know, basic tank tops and T-shirts and makes it more interesting. You can also add patches or pins. I recently fell in love with pins. I love pins. Actually, funny story. I think I talked about this a few months ago. I bought a button maker so that I could make little button pins to put on my clothes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
But it ended up being a piece of shit. It fully didn't work. Fully didn't work. I brought in my mom. a man in my life who's really good with little machinery, and no one could figure it out. So I ultimately donated it. Maybe somebody else will figure out how to use it. I couldn't. I might buy a new one, but I might also just stick to buying vintage ones at this point.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
That was going to be a hobby, and then it didn't work out. But anyways, I recently just bought off eBay a bunch of little patches that have my name on it. And I've been sort of putting them on things. Like I just took a patch and ironed it onto a pair of little basic white sort of boxer shorts that I have just to add a bit of detail.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Pins, patches, buttons, all these things can add a really sweet sort of personal touch and a pop of color as well. So, and you can like, you can attach these things to anything. Denim shorts, plain tank tops. The opportunity, the opportunities are endless, babe. Okay. Tap in to the pins, patches, and buttons. Okay. It's a vibe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Another thing you can do that I recently discovered and it might be controversial and some people might not like it. And to be honest, I like a year ago might have thought that this was stupid, but I discovered this through just styling myself actually for Coachella. And then I ended up really liking it. And now it's something that I'm like wearing. And it's really interesting. Belting a shirt.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
And that's great, but it's not fashionable, right? An outfit becomes fashionable when it has dimension, when it has intrigue, when it has a sense of personality. And that's really hard to do during the summer because we don't want to wear clothes because it's so hot, right? Yeah. And that's why I think summer is the most challenging season to style. Can you look cute during the summer? Absolutely.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Okay. I might cringe at this in six months. I might call this trendy and choogy in six months. But for now, for some reason, I really like it. Taking like a basic tank top t-shirt and belting it. And then kind of like having fun with how you, you know, sort of pull the shirt and get a little bit of slack going in the shirt and It's kind of cute. It's almost like a little mini corset.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
The only problem I have with it is that the belt is ultimately pointless. And that's a gripe I have with accessorizing is like the accessory has to be comfortable and it has to serve some sort of purpose usually. Usually for it to be sort of a timeless accessory. This is arguably not a timeless accessory. So this is sort of going against my own philosophy. However, it's not uncomfortable. So...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
That's a redeeming quality. I don't know. Listen, I like it. I posted a little Instagram reel of me and my little Coachella outfit with the white tank top and the little and I had a little red belt cinching the waist of the tank top. And it was hit or miss. Some people were like, this is so weird. Like, what are you wearing? And then some people were like, wait, I get it. And I like it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
So give it a try. You might love it. You might hate it. But those are some ideas of how to make basic t-shirts and tank tops more interesting for the summer without adding heat, you know? Another incredible top option during the summer would be a light shirt, right? Something with not a lot of fabric, okay? A tank top sort of silhouette.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Well, not tank top silhouette, but like something with no sleeves, right? but that has an interesting silhouette. Okay, I'm talking halter tops. I'm talking mock neck tank tops. I'm talking a tank top that cuts right underneath the breast, something that's like super cropped, if that's something that you're into. Or maybe sort of a tank top that's made of terry cloth, like towel material.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Or maybe a top that has sheer elements. Or perhaps a top that has cutouts. Or, you know, silhouettes that are interesting and comfortable. but aren't thick in, like, constricting, if that's even the right word. Constraining. Constricting and constraining. I will say, when it comes to tops like this, it can be hit or miss, right? Like, a lot can go wrong with sort of unique sleeveless tops.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Number one, they can be really challenging to take on and off, in my experience. Like, if you have a lot of...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
cutouts or a lot of different like straps that you need to you know like tie together or you know something is not super structurally sound and so like a nipple might fly out or you know something's too sheer and like you can see nipple like I don't know it can be a challenging genre of top it can also fall into the hyper trendy category like a lot of times these sort of
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
tank tops, I don't know, they can be really trendy and like have a really big moment and then be out the next moment. And you're like, oh my God, I just bought this like cute strappy top. And now everybody's saying on TikTok that it's like not cute anymore. What am I supposed to do? A lot of times when things are really detailed like that, they can fall into the super trendy category.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
So, you know, I think it's about being mindful, finding something that is truly your style and and finding something that you feel comfortable wearing, right? Because again, if you don't feel comfortable wearing it, number one, you're not going to wear it. It'll just collect dust in the closet. But also if you do end up wearing it, you're not going to be happy. You're not going to be having fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
You know, you're going to be, say, at a music festival trying to dance around, but you're scared that your nipple is going to fall out or you're going to be self-conscious because maybe it's just not a silhouette that you feel confident in, like whatever. So I think when shopping for tops in this category, be mindful of comfort and also personal style.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
In fact, I mean, I think summer has some of the best, most inviting color palettes and materials. Like summer has all the potential to be the chicest season. But due to the hot temperatures and all of our desires to be comfortable, it's really hard to execute on that, at least in my experience. And that's why today I'm going to walk you all through my guide to summer clothing, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Another incredible summer top option that I don't see a lot. And I've actually never even worn this, but I'm going to experiment with it this summer because I have one top that falls into this category and I'm going to try it. Wait, I have more. No, I don't. Okay. Tunic. Okay. What's a tunic? Well, a tunic is a shirt that's kind of long.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
It's almost like either a long shirt or a dress that's a little bit too short, right? A tunic. It's too short to be a dress, but too long to be like a shirt. It's a tunic. OK, I think a little tunic. And when it comes to the tunic, I mean, the opportunities are endless. OK, you could wear like a boxy sort of smock like tunic, you know, something that's sort of utilitarian looking.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Maybe it has pockets on the front. You could wear sort of like a 50s bathing suit style sort of tunic, like a long, tight sort of tank top that maybe has like a built in little belt on it. You could wear something that has sort of a peplum. I personally have a like short sleeve, loose, thin, black, sort of peplum tunic that is a controversial piece in my wardrobe. Some people in my life love it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
a guide to summer clothing
Some people in my life hate it. Some people on the Internet love it. Some people on the Internet hate it. I personally love it. That's why I own it. But like, I'll use my personal tunic, if you will, as an example. You know, it's black, it's loose. It has a little peplum on the bottom, a little frill, if you will, like a little skirt almost on it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Hello, and welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on, and I give you my unprofessional advice. And today's topic is dating complications. Dating and romance and love can be absolutely incredible.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
I've played that game for years where, for whatever reason, my brain only allowed me to feel attracted to guys who did not fully reciprocate the attention that I was giving them. And you want to know where that led me? Misery, okay? Fucking misery. I dated many guys that were not emotionally available for me, who drove me crazy. And it only had a net negative impact on my life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
And to blame it on yourself is to cause yourself unnecessary grief because it is so normal to go on a bunch of dates and click with absolutely no one. And the best thing that you can do is honor your instinct that it's not working and not bark up the wrong tree and try to force something to work that isn't working. I will say, though...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
And not just like my dating life, but all elements of my life. It is a very, very, very dangerous pattern. So is there something wrong with you? I don't like putting it that way, but maybe. Because there was something wrong with me. Or maybe not something wrong with me, but I had an unhealthy pattern.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
So there wasn't anything wrong with me, but there was something wrong with the pattern of dating that I was in, okay? And there's a good chance that the same thing is happening to you. For whatever reason, you're attracted to people who don't like you back. That is not a good pattern to be in. Now, I started taking chances, and I started talking to guys that actually did like me back.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
And I'll tell you, it was kind of tough for me because I wasn't used to it. And now I will tell you that after pushing through that...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
and seeing what a relationship can feel like with somebody who reciprocates the energy the attention the care you can break the cycle I broke the cycle within the last year you know but it was very challenging because I've never been able to date guys that like me back it has always given me some form of the ick or like I've just been scared away by it or it just like doesn't feel like I don't know it's almost like I'm afraid of being loved by somebody or something I like
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
It's weird. I don't really know why still to this day that I'm like that, but I am. It was really challenging to push through, but I promise you, dating people that reciprocate, that treat you the way that you always have wanted to be treated, date people based on how they treat you. Push through the ick. The ick is lying to you, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
It's a weird defense mechanism that you picked up for some reason, but if you're attracted to somebody and they're treating you well, and you're like, why the fuck do I have the ick? Like, everything about this seems great. Keep trying, okay? Now there's a chance that the person's personality just gives you the ick. You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
I urge you to keep trying and see if the ick goes away because there's a good chance that it will and you'll be able to break this cycle for yourself where you're not dating people who don't fucking like you. Nothing hotter than somebody that doesn't fucking like you. Stop that now. It's not worth it. That will create a life of misery.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Once you date people that like you back, your life will improve significantly. I can promise you that. And you'll discover what relationships can bring you in your life, how relationships can improve your life, make your life even more fulfilling and beautiful. If you keep dating people that don't like you, you'll never get to experience that. And I wish somebody would have told me that sooner.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Actually, I don't because I'm glad I experienced what I did. But yeah. Okay. Next, somebody said, how to get past intimacy issues. I mean, I think it depends on the root of your intimacy issues. I think a lot of intimacy issues are very complex, too complex for me to give advice. And I would say, you know, talking to a professional about it, a therapist is probably the best option.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
But when it comes to more minor intimacy issues that are rooted in minor insecurities, fears around intimacy, just natural, innate fears of intimacy, fear of the unknown, if you haven't been intimate with many people, that's more what I'm going to attack here today. I had my own set of intimacy issues rooted in feeling insecure in myself as a romantic being.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
It is a bit complicated because there are times when you might be in a certain state of mind, you might be in a certain phase of your life that is preventing you from connecting with people that you're on a date with. And that's something to consider. Now, I would argue that that's almost your subconscious and the universe protecting you from getting into a relationship at the wrong time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
I grew up being, you know, somebody who was not given attention for romantic reasons very often. Like, people weren't... I don't know, like, I always felt like a disappointment romantically when I would be with guys because I was nervous and I went through puberty late and I just felt like a disappointment to guys, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
I couldn't keep up and it gave me lasting intimacy issues that still, you know, linger to this day where I'm nervous and afraid at times. But I think what's been the greatest thing that I've ever done is... And finding a partner, and it takes time, finding a partner that you truly trust, who you're not intimidated by, who you're sexually attracted to.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
You want to be intimate with this person, but you're not intimidated by them. I never thought that that was possible. I always thought you're either attracted to somebody or you're not intimidated by them. Like there's no happy medium. No, there is. There totally is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
The key is to find somebody that you're attracted to, that doesn't intimidate you, that you can experiment with, you can try things with. You can be honest about your fears, about your issues, about your hesitations. They can be honest about theirs and you can work through those challenges together.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
The best way to get over fears is to prove to yourself that it's going to be okay if you participate and you do it. You know, like the greatest way to get over a fear of flying on an airplane is to fly on an airplane as often as you can and take off and land safely and realize everything's going to be OK. There's a slim chance that something could go wrong, but probably not.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
It's about talking to the flight attendant and being like, hey, you know. what number flight is this for you? They say, oh, it's my 4,000th flight. It's my 4,000. Oh my God, that's a tongue twister. It's my 4,000th flight. That person has flown 4,000 times and nothing bad has ever happened. And their likelihood of something bad happening is way higher than yours.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
It's about putting yourself in a position where you need to face the fear. You So finding a partner that helps you create a safe space for that is so incredibly helpful. But also that takes time. And in the meantime, I think there's something to be said for research on a personal level. OK, now figure yourself out sexually. There's like a it helps to learn how to be intimate with yourself as well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
You know, like, I don't know. I like had never had any sort of intimate experiences with myself prior to being with my first like long term boyfriend at age like 17. Yeah, age 17. So I didn't understand myself. Sexually, I didn't understand myself in any sort of intimate way. And it was very confusing for me, you know? So I didn't understand myself. They didn't understand me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
I didn't understand them. It was a mess. If I would have gone in having understood myself and my body better, it would have been an easier experience, I think. No regrets. But, you know, in the meantime, before you can find that partner that you feel safe with...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
explore your own situation fucking go online and google some shit do what you need to do you know what i mean to sort of educate yourself in a way on how shit works you know like sometimes you got to look up tutorials but that stuff can be empowering so that you're like all right i kind of understand what i'm getting myself into it's a very i mean unfortunately there's no like truly healthy resource for intimacy and like there's no like perfect rule book you know
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
You could look up tutorials on YouTube like, hey, how do I do this? Just figure out. You can read an article online, you know, a blog post. It helps. You can ask your friends, you know, ask around. That stuff really helps. Just learn as much as you can before you go into it. And I think that can help build confidence.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Because a lot of times, at least in my experience, intimacy issues are rooted in not feeling confident in one's ability to be intimate. Now, that's not the only root of it, but that can be a root of it. I mean, I think intimacy issues can also be rooted in fear of getting too close to somebody. Yeah. in which I recommend, you know, looking into attachment styles.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
But when you ask the question like, hey, why am I not connecting with anyone I'm going on a date with? Is it me? I guess sometimes it can be you, right? But I would argue it's beyond you. It's a state of mind that you're in. You're not ready. Maybe you too recently broke up with your ex.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
If you're having trouble being intimate with people, you feel put off every time you get too close to somebody, you might have an avoidant attachment style and educating yourself on that could be incredibly helpful. But I do think that one of the most healing things that you can do is finding a partner who can help you get out of your comfort zone, to be honest.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
And last but not least, somebody said, how to handle being rejected. I feel like I've talked about this before, but I can't remember. So we're talking about it again. Being rejected is complicated because on one hand, there is sort of this harsh reality that comes with it. That's like, yeah, like you might not be the right type of person for them. They might not like you like that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
And that's sometimes an unbearable truth. But it's normal. It's normal. And it's a part of life. You're not going to be everybody's cup of tea. Wow, I'm starting to sound like a Pinterest quote. You're not going to be everybody's cup of tea. What the fuck? Anyway, you're not. So that's that. But then also, you're not a perfect person either.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
and there's a chance that you have certain flaws or challenges that make you not appealing to other people. Like, all of these things are true. It is not a fucking pretty reality to swallow. It's not.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
But if you can master the art of accepting the fact that you just might not be right for that person, and it might be because of you, it might also be because of them, it might be a combination of both, it probably is, If you can accept that while simultaneously believing that there will be someone out there that doesn't reject you, you're going to be in a really good place, my friend.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Because that's the best way to handle rejection is to say, this is a tough reality. It doesn't fucking feel good. But I'm going to use this as an opportunity to look inward, see what ways I can improve, and take it as a sign that this wasn't meant to be and that I just need to keep searching for the person that will work out. It's a humbling, humbling, humbling experience.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
But it can be a really positive thing if you look at it through the right lens. Anywho, that's all I have for today. That's it. It's complicated. Romance is complicated. I appreciate you all listening and hanging out. I hope that you enjoyed it. If you did, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. It's always fun and a good vibe. So come hang out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Find Anything Goes on social media at Anything Goes and find me on social media at Emma Chamberlain. I'll talk to you soon. I love you and appreciate you for spending your time with me. And yeah, I guess I'll talk to you later. Okay, bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Maybe you're going through a really hard time on a personal level and bringing somebody else into the picture would be really complicated. And your brain doesn't have the capacity to be excited about someone. That's absolutely possible. And that's something you should... And consider, am I in the state of mind to be dating right now anyway?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Do I even have the energy, the capacity to give myself and my attention and my vulnerability to someone? You have to be in a pretty healthy state of mind to do that. And if you reflect on yourself and you're like, huh, yeah, I probably don't have the capacity to be dating right now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
But as with all things that can be absolutely incredible, it can also be miserable and challenging and complicated and confusing. And that's what we're going to be discussing today. The complicated side of dating and romance and love. Without further ado, let's begin. Somebody said, I can't develop any feelings for any dates or any guys that I've met recently. Is it me?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
then yeah, it might in some ways be you, but I'm hesitant to say it that way because that kind of has like a negative connotation, like, hey, there's something wrong with you. That's why these dates haven't been working out. No, you're just not in the right state of mind.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
But what I do think is important about figuring out if it's just simply you not clicking with these people, which is absolutely possible, or if it's potentially a combination of that and the fact that you're not in the right state of mind for it, That's an important distinction because, you know, you might not want to write off these people that you're going on dates with right now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
You might want to consider another date down the line if you've reflected and realized, you know what, I'm not healed from my past relationship. I'm going through too much on a personal level. It's the wrong time for me. Now, I also think it's very normal to struggle to find meaningful connection in dating. Dating is tough.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
And there's this kindred sort of thing that happens that is sort of unexplainable. And if we had that with everybody, it wouldn't mean anything. It's a hard thing to find, but it's worth fighting for. It's worth looking for because it is so magical when it's found. But to expect it to be an easy process is to misunderstand what makes it so special anyway, I think.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
However, one more point I want to make is there's also a chance that you're not giving yourself enough time to get to know these people. Because almost every guy I've dated, not every guy I've dated, there's been like love at first sight for me with guys that I've dated. There's also been situations where I didn't like the guy in the beginning. I did not like them at first.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
And then I grew to like them. I've experienced both, right? Yeah. And I grew to like them when we got closer and became more familiar with one another and their personality started to come out more. If I was basing our connection on the first date, we would have never dated. But I was like, you know what? I'm going to give this person a little while to grow on me potentially.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
And in a few occasions in my life, they did. And I ended up dating them. So I also think there's a chance that you're not maybe dating in a way that works for you. Okay. The way that you might be dating is going on one date that's kind of uncomfortable and nerve wracking. Like you guys maybe go out to dinner and it's like a date and it's really intense and it's like.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
whatever and there's a lot of pressure to click with them and it just it becomes this fucking pressure chamber of a situation and it doesn't work out and everybody ends up just being exhausted and uninspired by the experience whereas if you can maybe work on making friends with more people that you might be romantically interested in if you could go into a first date and be like listen
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
I just want to get this out of the way, you know, and I'm potentially interested in this becoming romantic. But like for the first few dates, like let's just hang out as friends and take the pressure off of like doing anything more than friends. Like let's just be friends for the first few dates and see how it goes and just actually get to know each other. And see what happens.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
And that's awkward to say sometimes to people, but I think it can sort of take the pressure off so that, you know, for the first few dates, you and this person can actually get to know each other and not be in this fucking pressure chamber of like, are we going to hook up? Or I have to like make a good impression this first time. Like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
set a precedent in the beginning, like, this is how we should go about this. We should plan three dates and take the sex out of it, take the romance out of it, and just see how we actually vibe as friends, you know, first.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Because that'll allow both of your personalities to come out, and the likelihood of you clicking is much higher than, I don't know, the dating style right now is very challenging. So that could also be something, you know, to try. But it's not you. If dating is not clicking for you, don't think you are a problem. It's not you, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
I think everyone on this planet is capable of finding a partner. I know that. There's too many fucking people in this world for there not to be somebody for everyone. You might be going about it in the wrong way. You might not be in the right state of mind. And yeah, that maybe that is you or your method or whatever, but it's not you. So don't blame yourself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
This is such a frustrating feeling and I deeply relate to it because I've been there many times. I feel like there's this pressure to go on dates and feel things relatively quickly. Like, okay, if you go on five dates, there's this expectation, like, at least one of those should work. But it's not that simple. There's no... predictable outcome, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Next, somebody said, what does choosing to love someone mean? To me, choosing to love someone in the context of romantic relationships is is to be aware that in a long-term relationship, in a long-term healthy relationship, there are going to be days when it is challenging to love your partner. Now, we should get our definition clear on what love is. I like the Buddhist definition of love.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Love in this simple Buddhist definition is unselfishly wishing others to be happy, to be delighted in their presence, to do things for others and not expect anything in return. It is to trust each other. But I think above all, it's wanting happiness for the other person. It's having a connection with somebody else where there's a strong bond, there's strong trust.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
It's a connection that has a whole, you know, complicated laundry list of characteristics that are challenging to maintain. And, you know, depending on what state of mind you're in, It can be hard sometimes to love someone. Okay, so in the context of a romantic relationship, let's say you're going through a hard time in your life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
you're unhappy in your job, you're unhappy with how you look or how you feel or something, it can be very hard not to take that out on your partner. It can be hard to love your partner when you don't love yourself. But on days like that, you have to choose to love your partner.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
When your partner is going through a challenging time themselves and they're being difficult, they're being tough to be around, they're in a dark hour of their lives, you have to choose to love them sometimes because it's not easy. They're not making it easy. There are times in even the healthiest relationships when it's hard to love the other person.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
And in those moments, I think an individual is given the option to rise above the challenge and choose love anyway. And I think that that's what it means to choose to love someone is to go through the ups and downs with your loved ones and be aware and accepting that that is a normal part of any type of relationship, but especially a romantic one.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Now, I think it gets complicated when it comes to romantic relationships. Like, it's a lot easier to choose to love your family member in a rough moment because that's your blood, you know? I mean, that's not to say that there aren't times when it makes sense to cut off your family members. I think in really extreme, extreme, extreme cases...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Yes, but I'm not talking about extreme cases right now. For the most part, when it comes to your family, you fight with your family. It's inevitable, but it's easier to choose to love your family because the connection that you have with family sort of goes a bit deeper than your relationship with, say, somebody you're dating, right? I think it can be at times challenging to figure out, huh,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Should I choose to love this person or should I let them go? You know? But I think that that comes down to the health of the relationship in general. If you're in a healthy relationship with somebody, for the most part, and you both... are good partners to each other, meaning that you're a good team with one another.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
If you have a good sense of trust and a wide open line of communication, a super intimate level of closeness to one another, you both inspire each other to be better. you hold each other accountable, overall you have a net positive impact on one another, then it makes sense to choose to love that person in the most challenging of moments.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Whereas if you're in an unhealthy relationship and somebody's challenging and you're like, oh God, Am I going to choose to love them? The answer might be no if the relationship is not a net positive in your life. It's actually harming you, bringing you down. You can still choose to love them. You want them to be happy or whatever, but you might not be able to love them in the same way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
You might need to love them in a different way moving forward and you might need to break up. Yeah. All right. Moving on. Somebody said, my boyfriend and I have been together seven years. Been talking to him about proposing since 2022. How long do I wait?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
You might go on a hundred dates and not click with any of those people. And that is neither your fault or theirs. Whether you click with someone or not is arguably up to the cosmos. You know what I mean? It's written in the stars. It couldn't be less of your fault or their fault. It's no one's fault. It's just how it is. You can't control if you click with someone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Well, I mean, I think at seven years, you know, if you analyze your relationship and you're like, listen, this is not perfect because nothing ever is. But this relationship has a net positive effect on my life. This person's presence is invaluable in my life. I can't imagine not being with this person. I'm pretty confident that I couldn't find better out there. I probably could.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
But I don't... It's hard to imagine... This person has proven to be trustworthy over the seven years. This person has proven, you know, be critical of this relationship. Be critical of the entire seven years. Be aware of the weight of the decision you're making. You know, it's a huge decision who you marry. And obviously people make mistakes. It's totally fine to make mistakes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
There's nothing wrong with getting divorced, but you know, but nobody wants that, right? It's not ideal. So be fucking critical. And if you arrive at the other end, like, yeah, you know what? I'm aware of the flaws. I'm aware of the challenges, but they're all things that I'm more than willing to face.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Now you're clear in your head on if this is the person for you, because we can fall into a place where we've been with somebody for seven years and they actually might not be the person for us. But we just stayed with them because it was comfortable and it was what we knew and we wanted to fight for it. Now, if you realize, you know what? I actually don't think I want to wait anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
I actually don't think this is meant to be. He hasn't proposed to me. That may be a sign that he's not 100% sure too. Maybe this isn't right. There's a chance that that's the conclusion you come to. But there's also a good chance that maybe he's nervous. Maybe he doesn't feel like he's in the right place in his career yet. He loves you. He wants to marry you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
But he's afraid of the big cost of the wedding. He maybe isn't ready to have kids yet. He's maybe intimidated by all this. He loves you, but he's intimidated by all this. That's why he's waiting. And I think you asking, how long do I wait? This is a conversation you need to have with your boyfriend. It's uncomfortable. It sucks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
But I think there's this weird thing around like, well, I'm just going to wait for them to propose to me and I don't really know if they ever will or whatever. This should be a conversation beforehand. The fact that it's like this surprise and delight sort of thing. I actually think that's kind of a little bit unhealthy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
I think there should be a bit of conversation beforehand, a bit of understanding beforehand. I don't think you should wait any longer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
If you're anticipating being proposed to and you want to be proposed to and you've thought long and hard about the relationship and you're confident that this is who you want to be with, you need to go and have a conversation with your boyfriend and say, hey, I want to get married and you can propose to me whenever you want, but I just need to know if that's something you're even going to do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Because if you're not, we're clearly not on the same page and that's a problem. And it's uncomfortable and it sucks. But if you can't have that conversation with your boyfriend, that means that there's an issue in the relationship. That's a conversation you need to be able to have with your partner.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
You should be so close with your partner that you trust that you can have that type of conversation with them and it won't be weird, you know? Next, somebody said, the moment someone likes me back, I start to get icked. I feel like I will never be satisfied enough. Is there something wrong with me? Okay, let's have a talk. Let's have a talk about being attracted to people who don't like his back.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
getting over the "ick," advice session
Okay, because I was the queen of this for many years. I only dated guys that were kind of hard to get. And the second guys would like me back, I would get a little grossed out. I've always been like this myself. However, this is not a sustainable model in life. Take it from me, okay?