the curse of perfectionism, advice session
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What are today's topics on Advice Session?
Hey there, and welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on, and I give you my unprofessional advice. And today's topics are failure, work ethic, and perfectionism. And perfectionism in particular is a topic that I hold near and dear to my heart because I myself am am a perfectionist. And no, I'm not humble bragging. Okay. I'm not over here like, I don't know. I just have an incredible work ethic. I know it might sound like a blessing, but I promise you it's a curse. It's exhausting being this perfect. No, I'm not saying that. In fact, I'm saying the opposite. I actually think my perfectionism gets in the way of me achieving. If perfection did exist, it doesn't.
But if it did exist, my perfectionism would be preventing me from reaching that. My perfectionism holds me back. When I call myself a perfectionist, it's derogatory. You get the idea. This is not a flex. That's sort of a misconception about perfectionism is that it ultimately is a blessing in disguise. And maybe it is. Maybe it is. Like, maybe if I were to observe myself, my current self, who I am right now, and myself in an alternate universe where I'm not a perfectionist. Perhaps me, the perfectionist, would achieve more than the version of me in an alternate universe who isn't a perfectionist. Perhaps. Perhaps. But we'll never know that for sure. And as far as I can tell, it gets in my way.
Maybe for some people it's a blessing in disguise, but definitely not for everyone. And it is not a fun thing to deal with. And I've been dealing with it for many years. And it's gotten better, I'd say, but I definitely don't have it all figured out. Like I haven't cured my perfectionism by any means. It's still something that I struggle with actively. So when I give you advice about it, take it with a grain of salt because I don't have it all figured out. If you want really good advice, go find somebody who has it all figured out. And then also send me that person's number because I need their help as well. Anyway, without further ado, let's begin. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Westin Hotels and Resorts. Westin Hotels is designed with your wellbeing in mind. With more than 200 destinations around the world, Westin Hotels makes it possible to keep up with your wellness routine while traveling. With signature amenities and offerings that help you move well, eat well, and sleep well.
And with their iconic next generation heavenly bed, you can look forward to the rest. The worst part about traveling, is how it impacts your sleep. Whether you're dealing with jet lag or not having slept on a flight, it can ruin a trip. Find wellness at Westin, one of the 30 extraordinary hotel brands in the Marriott Bonvoy portfolio. Now back to the episode. Somebody said, as a perfectionist, I never feel like I'm doing enough. I see other successful people and I constantly feel like I'm not enough. How do I fix this? Well, these are two separate issues, okay? Number one, never feeling like you're doing enough. Never feeling satisfied with your accomplishments, with your productivity, et cetera. And comparing your success to others.
So let's address not feeling like you're doing enough. To start, let me just say, I could not relate to this more. I could literally be on my grind for like six months straight, get so much done, be so successful. Everybody around me is jealous. I'm slaying and I literally still feel like shit and feel like I got nothing done. So I completely understand this. I think the hard truth for perfectionists is that perfectionists may never be able to fully experience fulfillment and joy from getting work done, from being productive. I don't, that might not be true, but in my experience thus far, like I haven't cracked that code. I still really struggle to feel like I'm doing enough. And just by simply being productive, like I almost never feel like I'm doing enough. Naturally, like it doesn't matter how much I get done. I just never feel satisfied. I never feel fulfilled. I never feel proud. And I think for many perfectionists, that's the case. And so something that I've tried to do is to release any expectations about how productivity will make me feel.
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