ask a sub
Episodes
46. Comparison Versus Compersion
20 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A sub loves the play parties she attends with her Dom, but is struggling with watching him play with his primary partner. Can this cozy polycule find ...
45. Learning From Our Elders & The History of Bootblacking with KD Diamond
13 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Follow KD: Instagram | Website Follow Kink Out: Instagram | Website Get KD's bootblacking starter kit recs here. To support the pod and join our thriv...
44. Bratty & Broken Hearted
06 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
What do you do when a very special dynamic leaves your life? This week a broken-hearted brat wants to know how to move on in the wake of a great love ...
43. The Origins Of The Folsom Street Fair
29 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Cue up some disco and put on your finest assless chaps, because we're reviewing the history of The Folsom Street Fair, then we're taking a walking tou...
42. Your Pelvic Floor Doesn't Wanna Hustle with Dr. Rachel McCarthy-Moya
22 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
If you're reading this, you have a pelvic floor! And Dr. Rachel McCarthy-Moya is here to tell you all about it. Listen for her take on kegels (do less...
41. A Red Flag Refresher
15 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A refresher on red flags and the radical notion that you don't have to put up with assholes to get your kink needs met. To support the pod and join ou...
40. Keeping Your Polyam Foot On The Floor
08 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Thoughts on respecting all the connections in your polyamorous ecosystem when the sub swoons come calling. Our next Deep Dive is on 9/12 at 3pm with p...
39. Kink For Hard Times
01 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A listener wants to know how to navigate putting a dynamic on pause when one partner is Going Through It, and Lina offers ideas about boundaries and p...
38. A Blank Check For Semen with Vienna Farlow the Cuntsultant
25 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Vienna Farlow The Cuntsultant dropped by for an interview about the Fertility Awareness Method and the weird shift from not wanting to get pregnant to...
37. Healthy Conflict But Make It D/s
18 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This week we're talking about how to approach conflict in a way that honors your D/s dynamic. So few of us have learned any strategies for respectful...
36. Moving The Masochistic Goal Posts with Leigh Cowart
11 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Hurts So Good author Leigh Cowart joined me for a conversation about pervertibles, aka making kink tools out of what you've got on hand! We also talke...
35. Smooth Brain As Resistance
04 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A new kinkster asks Lina about the "empty headed feeling" that follows her scenes, and Lina explains how subby headspace can be anti-capitalist… and...
34. Internet Censorship with Evie Lupine
28 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Have you noticed online is just getting worse and worse? This week, kink celebrity and YouTuber Evie Lupine joins me to talk about how kinky people ha...
33. The Drop-Proof D/s Goodbye
21 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes parting is just too much sorrow! This week Lina equips a listener with a strategy for lessening the blow of transitioning back into vanilla ...
32. Kinky Divorced Moms Deserve A Win
14 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Lina interviews a listener who got in touch to share the story of her custody battle with her sex-negative ex-husband, and the unexpected win that arr...
31. Kinky Cohabitation
07 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A sub calls in wondering how to maintain a 24/7 spark when sometimes all you wanna do is curl up on the couch and cuddle. Spoiler alert: kink and the ...
30. Gender Neutral Means Of Address
30 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Trying to keep your kink gendy-neutch? Means of address can go a long way in creating that euphoric safe space for you. This week we're bringing you s...
29. Don't Fear The Fluidity
23 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Lina comforts a listener who's seeking insight into the parallels between bi+ and non-monogamous identities. Lina also takes a second to address the d...
28. Radical Bisexual Permission with Zachary Zane
16 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Zachary Zane, author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto stopped by to talk about bisexual sluttiness, rejecting bi assimilationism, and his hairy butt...
27. Bi Girl Desire
09 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes it can be hard for us bi girls to name what we want and go after it, and this week Lina is unpacking all the varying forces that go into thi...
26. Bisexual It Girl Vita Sackville-West
02 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A bi-for-bi open marriage, crossdressing, and a series of passionate artistic love affairs — no, it's not 2023, it's 1923! On this month's pride min...
25. 2 Doms 1 Sub
26 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A Dom calls in wondering how to navigate his sub's dynamic with another Dom, and Lina talks about primary partner veto, as well as the ins and outs of...
24. All About Us with the Ask A Sub Community
19 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Hear all about the varied kink lives of our ask a sub community! From single folks to people married with kids, kink is a living, breathing practice t...
23. Good Doms Are Out There
12 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This week we're naming and confronting the pessimism that makes us think all potential sex partners are trash, then discussing what good, real Doms ar...
22. The Sexual Is Political
05 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Today we're reclaiming our erotic power and studying a holy trinity of queer feminist writers: Adrienne Rich, Audre Lorde, and Gloria Anzaldúa. Joi...
21. The Polyamory Cool Kids Table
28 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A new sub wants to know how to manage jealousy when you're monogamous and your partner isn't. Aka, where is your place in the kink community if not at...
20. Body Love & Healing Your Gaze with Luna Matatas
21 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Join me and Luna Matatas for a discussion all about cultivating body confidence in a messed up world! Get the rest of my interview with Luna here. ...
19. We Are Always Evolving (And So Are Our Needs)
14 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A sub wants to know how to communicate their changing needs in a longterm relationship, and Lina equips them with proactive, active, and reactive tool...
18. A Taste For Suffering
07 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A tour through the literary origins of masochism, as well as some modern mythbusting for the masochistically inclined. Get my full interview with Leig...
17. Read! The Freakin!! Article!!!
31 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Today we're tackling the question of how to share kink resources with vanilla people you encounter in your dating travels, strategies for protecting y...
16. Herpes Hope & Hotness with Safe Slut
24 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Safe Slut joined me to tell me all about her dating life as an HSV+ queen, shared her thoughts on disclosure, and gave us some insight into her first ...
15. Gender Is Fake, Aftercare Is Real
17 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A sub wants to know how to bring forward feminine energy and suppress the masculine during aftercare. Lina's response? Gender is fake, privilege is re...
14. 1970s Leather Culture: "A Very Happy Place To Be"
10 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Cue up some disco and put on your finest assless chaps, we're taking a walking tour through the heart of leather culture in the 1970's - San Francisco...
13. Don't SUBlimate Your Feelings
03 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Today's episode is all about feeling your feelings. One sub asks whether it's possible to introduce kink to her partner in a non-sexual context, while...
12. Brat Motivations with Lola Jean
24 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
On this month's Deep Dive interview, Brat Whisperer Lola Jean joins me to talk all about how to find your inner brat and, more importantly, negotiate ...
11. Your Shiny Orb Of Subby Selfness
17 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Lina ponificates on curating kinky community beyond the algorithm, then stands at the crossroads with a listener who wants to go from book learning to...
Season Two Coming Soon
24 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
New weekly episodes of ask a sub coming 2/17. Send your voice memo questions, comments, prompts, anecdotes and success stories to [email protected] ...
DEEP DIVE: Mindful Masculinity and Dominance
21 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Masculinity and Dominance - some say they cannot peacefully coexist. But the men and masc-identifying folks of the ask a sub discord community say dif...
DEEP DIVE: Finding A Sex-Positive Therapist with Rachel Wright
07 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Every wondered how to find a good therapist? And actually get your needs met by said therapist? What about sleeping arrangements for your 4 person pol...
DEEP DIVE: Leigh Cowart Wrote The Book On Masochism
23 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It's official! Once we hit 2K subscribers on Patreon the Ask A Sub podcast is coming back full force! In the meantime I want to share a teaser of a se...
DEEP DIVE: Creative Scene Planning with Cory Bush and Adam Rei Siegel
02 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It's official! Once we hit 2K subscribers on Patreon the Ask A Sub podcast is coming back full force! In the meantime I want to share a teaser of a se...
DEEP DIVE: Wholesomeness Is Perverted with Dia Dynasty and @tiemetightly
29 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It's official! Once we receive 2K subscribers on Patreon the Ask A Sub podcast is coming back full force! In the meantime I want to share a teaser of ...
DEEP DIVE: Venus Cuffs on Kink Parties & Being A Bossy B*tch
06 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
While I work on bringing you a second season of Ask A Sub, in the meantime I want to share a teaser of a patreon-exclusive series I'm doing called DEE...
10. Kinkily Ever After
16 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In our season finale, we wade into the waters of respect, romance, and all things mushy gushy. First, hear Lina's thoughts on training collars and cre...
9. Dating Apps, Meeting IRL, and Seeking Compatibility
02 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we cover all the basics of dating and finding kinky people to play with. First, Lina covers the FAQs of dating app profiles – what to do ...
8. Survivors, Loneliness, and a Cucking Treat
18 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
CW for the Episode: Assault–please skip to 16:14 to go straight to question 2. Lina starts this week's episode by talking about how trauma informs...
7. CNC, Empowered Collaring, and Protocol For Open Relationships
04 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
CW for the Episode: CNC–please skip to 13:50 to go straight to question 2. This week, Lina breaks down Consensual Non-Consent – what it is, where ...
6. Opening Up, People Pleasing and Kink Shame
21 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
This week on the table of sub wisdom is something a lot of subs historically have a past with – people pleasing. There is no magic solution, but Lin...
5. Social Stigmas, Sub Drop, and D/s with Roommates
07 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Lina takes on Society at Large! Hear her thoughts on how to navigate the social stigma around BDSM culture – especially turning those "oh...
4. Sub Frenzy, Safe Words, And The Myth Of The Top Shortage
23 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Lina goes straight into what it feels like to find a new Dom(me)–what it means to navigate the feels of frenzy and swooning, and is it po...
3. Fake Doms, Real Doms, And How Can Submission Be Feminist?
09 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
On this week's episode, Lina tackles the foundational questions of who are Dom(me)s? What do they get out of D/s, and how does trauma play into everyt...
2. Aftercare, Mindful Bratting, & The Vanilla Misery Fetish
26 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In today's episode Lina goes in deep on what aftercare is and how to incorporate it with all kinds of people and all kinds of sex. She also covers som...
1. My Submission Journey, Orgasm Control, And Advice For Single Thirds
11 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Ready to demystify kink and head out into the world? In this episode, Lina talks about her own history with submission and how she decided 24/7 ...