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Australian True Crime

2,500 Ways to Survive

14 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What legal history did Dr. Jeni Haynes make in 2019?

0.031 - 22.236 Meshel Laurie

the following podcast contains accounts of child sexual assault listener discretion is advised This is Australian True Crime with Michelle Laurie. In 2019, Dr Jenny Haynes gave evidence in court against her father, who was charged with various sex crimes committed against Jenny throughout her childhood.

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22.697 - 42.282 Meshel Laurie

In the history-making trial, Dr Jenny was the first person in the world allowed to present evidence on the stand from several of her personalities. Dr Jenny lives with a condition known as dissociative identity disorder or multiple personality disorder. She has over 2,000 personalities, whom she refers to as alters.

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42.862 - 61.459 Meshel Laurie

She's the subject of a new documentary streaming on SBS called We Are Jenny, and she joins us to talk about life as she lives it today. This is Australian True Crime. We acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which this podcast is created, the Wurundjeri Woi Wurrung people of the Kulin Nation.

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61.439 - 69.628 Meshel Laurie

When you popped up on the screen, like who's in the, you know, waiting to come into the call, it was Symphony.

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70.209 - 78.097 Dr Jeni Haynes

Yeah. Yeah, she's the one that created all of us. So it's us honouring the little girl that made everybody else.

Chapter 2: How does Dr. Haynes describe her experience with dissociative identity disorder?

78.558 - 86.567 Meshel Laurie

The documentary is so beautiful, isn't it? And the way they've animated your altars, how did that feel to see that?

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87.287 - 125.834 Dr Jeni Haynes

Oh! That was wonderful because in our very first discussions, I said, no, we are not using child actors to represent my alters. We are not representing the abuse in any visual way. Nah. That was sort of my non-negotiable. I wanted no further person traumatized by my dad. So we went for animation and then I got to tell them what everybody looks like. And that was fabulous.

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126.215 - 138.443 Meshel Laurie

Yeah. When you're doing an interview, and again, you did a lot of interviews in the documentary for the documentary and now you're doing them about it. Whose job is it? Who's best to do interviews?

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138.844 - 167.958 Dr Jeni Haynes

Ah, well, that's the thing. For the lived experience of having DID, my experience is we have a doorway and whoever is sitting in the doorway is in the body. Okay. Nice and simple. What we do is we come into an interview having created a The entity currently known as Jenny, that's me. And I have all the skills that I need for doing an interview, right?

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168.038 - 189.919 Dr Jeni Haynes

So the technical side of it, the making sure we look good, that side of stuff. That's my job. But when you ask a question, everybody else is literally clustered around behind me. And as soon as you ask a question that belongs to somebody else, they'll just pop in and answer it and then retreat. So you might see a difference or you might not.

190.219 - 199.054 Dr Jeni Haynes

It's not like we've got one person that does interviews. We could do that. Mr. Flamboyant keeps putting his hands up.

Chapter 3: What is the significance of the documentary 'We Are Jenny'?

199.074 - 234.276 Dr Jeni Haynes

I'll do the interviews. I'm good with this shit. Yeah, no problems. And I just go, no, no. Because having one consistent Jenny answer questions in every interview cheats people who have DID or MPD who are desperate to see somebody be real and not do the masking. When I talk to you and a different person comes out, I'm actually validating everybody else that has DID who's sitting there going,

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235.15 - 253.581 Dr Jeni Haynes

Yeah, but it's all got to be hidden. No, it doesn't have to be hidden. Not anymore. Not anymore. You can be real. You can actually be whoever you need to be and you don't have to hide anymore because we got justice. And MPD, DID is a topic of conversation for, in essence, the first time since the 70s.

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253.645 - 281.037 Meshel Laurie

Yeah. And your doctor, Dr. George Blair-West, he says, you know, for so long, DID has been portrayed as the craziest of the crazy. But you're talking about representing in a way that says, I'm living a life here. And the thing about you is, what a life. Your academic career is outstanding, apart from anything else. Thank you. But it's so true.

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281.337 - 314.107 Dr Jeni Haynes

People have always seen MPD. Now, I will say I prefer the term multiple personality disorder. It fits for my experience. So you'll get from me MPD slash DID. Dissociative identity disorder is the more common modern term for it. But it doesn't quite sit well for me. So for those people listening that... have DID. I invalidate. It is MPD DID. I'm just using the term I feel more comfortable with.

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314.608 - 354.882 Dr Jeni Haynes

So now we've got that out of the way. When you look at the diagnosis of MPD, MPD is considered a mental illness. We are dysfunctional, apparently. We are having hallucinations and delusions. We're paranoid, allegedly, but we're not. We are small children surviving the worst the world has to offer in the only way we can. I mean, most of the trauma that results in NPD or DID

355.621 - 374.441 Dr Jeni Haynes

occurs when we are pre-verbal. So we don't know that we're making alter personalities. We just have a need and someone rocks up to fill that need. And it just so happens you've created an alter personality. 2,682 times.

374.481 - 382.742 Meshel Laurie

Dr. George Blair-West, I've got to go back to him because I think he's brilliant and he says so many great things in the doco, right?

383.303 - 383.604 Dr Jeni Haynes

Yes.

384.025 - 408.898 Meshel Laurie

He says that part of it too, part of the evolution of NPD, DID, is... A very young child feeling like no one is coming to help them. That most obviously the two people they should, they expect should take care of them. Their two parents have made it clear to them that they're not going to come and rescue them. And in fact, they're inflicting the trauma.

Chapter 4: How do the alters in Dr. Haynes' life contribute to her interviews?

532.98 - 566.039 Dr Jeni Haynes

Thank you. Thank you, Boris. Yeah, so Daddy called it helping. Then he called it games, and then he called it punishment. And so if I'm helping Daddy, there are things that are going on that are making it hard for me to help Daddy. Smell, taste, sound. What I could see, because what I could see was terrifying. So I made people to take away the things that made it hard to talk to and fix Daddy.

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567.1 - 597.894 Dr Jeni Haynes

So in many ways, I guess I'm the one that he... I think is the current term for it. He's the one that he, I'm the one that he harmed every day for 14 years. And my alters are people that came and did everything else. So they went to school, they read books, they played, they did the things that I didn't have that time or energy to do.

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598.295 - 608.561 Meshel Laurie

Yeah, absolutely. So symphony is, In a way, you know, you're so young, but you're a leader, aren't you? Yeah. Yeah. I'm their mummy.

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609.423 - 642.398 Dr Jeni Haynes

Wow. I'm their mummy. Because they all walked out of the back of my head. So that makes me their mummy. So if you look at us as having MPD, I'm the one that made that. MP, I guess. Dad's the disorder, I'm the response. I'm hoping that eventually people will understand that MPD is turning a perfectly good coping strategy into a mental health disorder.

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642.378 - 654.876 Meshel Laurie

And that's not helpful. The judge, I think, described your MPD as actually an ingenious, like showing the capacity of the human brain, the brilliance of the human brain.

655.658 - 694.707 Dr Jeni Haynes

Yeah. See, Daddy told me that if I didn't do what he wanted me to do, he would kill my mummy, he would kill my brothers and sisters, and he would kill the cats and the guinea pigs. So... In a way, he took away everybody who could have helped me. Because if he said one word from me, and if I told, they'd die. And he told me that my mummy would die in a case of spontaneous human combustion.

695.308 - 695.368

Oh.

697.34 - 731.466 Dr Jeni Haynes

That's terrifying. Of course. And that meant that there was nobody to come and save me. I couldn't tell because he would... He was very aggressive towards pets. And he was aggressive towards me. So it wasn't a line that I could have just gone, oh, yeah, no problems. This was real. He was going to... destroy my family. So I made people that he couldn't touch.

732.729 - 760.514 Dr Jeni Haynes

He also told me that he could read my mind. So I think in song lyrics. It's very entertaining. Yes, yes. So everything is a song lyric. So when we came, and I'll just jump a little bit ahead to give you an example of this. When we came to write our police victim impact statement for court, It got very difficult because we knew exactly what we wanted to say.

Chapter 5: What are the misconceptions surrounding dissociative identity disorder?

1125.696 - 1156.782 Dr Jeni Haynes

So I was describing my experience and it was utterly alien for her because from what she was saying, her voices were quite aggressive and aggressive. self-damaging, which is not our experience at all. And we're sitting there listening to this going, this is utterly bizarre for us because the voices that we hear are always, hey, you need to get up now because if you don't, he's going to come.

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1157.032 - 1162.018 Dr Jeni Haynes

You need to make sure you eat something. Our voices were self-protective.

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1162.459 - 1185.95 Meshel Laurie

That's such an interesting observation and differentiation because for a long time, I think we didn't understand, those of us who weren't afflicted with either, didn't understand the difference between schizophrenia and DID. Is it that schizophrenics' voices are external? They feel as though they're external, whereas you know that yours are internal? Is that fair? That's right.

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1186.391 - 1211.17 Dr Jeni Haynes

That's right. But unfortunately, on this particular day, at the end of the lecture, the lecturer asked me to come with him to his office. Oh. And he says... Do you hear voices? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, of course not. No, definitely not. No. See ya. Yeah. You know, that is one moment that if I could have that moment over, I would say to him, yes.

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1211.15 - 1220.032 Meshel Laurie

It's a scary question, though. It's a scary question because you would have known the doors it was going to open. You would have known there was no going back. It's massive.

1220.734 - 1244.117 Dr Jeni Haynes

Schizophrenia. I was terrified that I had schizophrenia. Yeah. Because we had so many voices. But they were all... Protective and supportive. They were telling her all kinds of things that my voices have never said. Often they're frightening. So I'm assuming... My voices don't sit there and say, you're unworthy, you're a mad, you're an idiot.

1244.157 - 1251.606 Meshel Laurie

My voices don't say that. Is that common of DID? Do people with DID ever have nasty, cruel voices? Is that possible?

1252.106 - 1264.297 Dr Jeni Haynes

Yeah, we do. But often they are not... self-generated. They're more an internalization of the things that we're told. My father told me that I was hopeless, helpless and useless.

1264.758 - 1265.119

Yep.

Chapter 6: How does Dr. Haynes' father influence her understanding of abuse?

1397.662 - 1441.988 Dr Jeni Haynes

And he can't even remember my own name. He refers to me as Jennifer Belinda. I'm Jennifer Margaret Linda, not Jennifer Belinda. So he can't even, he doesn't even rate me enough to give me my proper name. So no, my dad has no history of abuse. He has no history of child neglect or beatings. My father isn't ill. He makes choices. And those choices that he makes devastate me.

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1442.028 - 1473.721 Dr Jeni Haynes

But every day, he makes the same choice. And that's the hardest thing for me to wrap my head around. This monster did this every single day for 14 years. We worked out that there's a, I think there's two weeks in my entire life where my father did not hurt me, at least in some way each day. Now I've got a two week reprieve and it wasn't two weeks in a row. It was a day here and a half day there.

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1474.522 - 1515.86 Dr Jeni Haynes

But we totted it up two weeks out of 14 years when he did not attack me. And that's because I wasn't there. My dad is evil. My dad chooses this behavior. He is knowingly choosing to do this. He knew it hurt. I told him. Symphony said no a million, million times. She begged him to stop. And he just kept going. So there is nothing in his history that would mitigate his crimes. Nothing at all.

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1515.94 - 1549.749 Dr Jeni Haynes

There's nothing that he can point to that says, I should get lesser charges or lesser time because of this. There's nothing. He just makes really shit choices and keeps making them. And he enjoyed... my distress. He enjoyed my trauma. And he kept doing it because it hurt me, because it freaked me, and because I was crying. He enjoyed that. He is an absolute sadist.

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1549.769 - 1577.458 Meshel Laurie

Seeing the photos of you, the documentary is beautiful for the animations, but there are also lots of photos of you as a little girl. And that beautiful little girl is so... hard to look at. Is she still there somewhere? I guess what I'm asking is, is there a fundamental Jenny? Is there one person who's Jenny and then all these others as well? Or is Jenny an amalgam?

1577.438 - 1580.484 Meshel Laurie

There's a fundamental person, symphony, and then there's the rest of us.

1580.964 - 1611.343 Dr Jeni Haynes

Right. Wow. Okay. There is nobody inside that is a Jenny. Jenny is the label. Like you go shopping and you need to buy a coat. You go and you buy a coat. Jenny is like the coat, okay? And we all wear Jenny, but the actual person that is the most important person, the one that we all radiate around is Symphony. So there is an essential Symphony, which is why we put it as Symphony Haynes.

1611.661 - 1632.623 Meshel Laurie

When you come onto the phone call, it was lovely actually to see that. It made me smile because I feel like I know, okay, I know who that is and she's lovely. What about getting better? I don't know how else to put it. The idea that you can or would want to

1632.603 - 1661.817 Meshel Laurie

be fixed and i've read the term integration around yes right around did that um that the hope is that eventually all the personalities will either go away or they'll all be sort of folded into one and you'll be one personality again one day as a goal what do you think about that yeah yeah um this is a complicated answer okay so we when we started therapy in the 1990s

Chapter 7: What challenges does Dr. Haynes face in her daily life due to her condition?

2152.337 - 2176.302 Dr Jeni Haynes

No, no. So we negotiated. Yes, you can have that frock and we've got shorts on underneath. Brilliant. We will find a negotiation. So, yeah, we went for, I mean, even today they were wearing pants because I knew there was a chance the boys would rock up. So I'm like, I don't care what you wear up top as long as you've got pants on.

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2176.805 - 2192.913 Meshel Laurie

And that goes back to what you were saying before. I think about how helpful everyone is to each other, how caring, how like for Gabrielle to say, I tell you what, we're going to be on telly. So I'm going to pick some really beautiful frocks for this, but I'll put shorts on as well for the boys.

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2192.953 - 2209.135 Dr Jeni Haynes

Yeah. We lived in jeans until we got the colostomy. And unfortunately, the position of the colostomy is such you can't wear jeans anymore. So that's okay. So we've discovered all kinds of different clothing, different kinds of pants. The girls have discovered bell bottoms.

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2210.036 - 2231.214 Meshel Laurie

Heaven. I don't know if you're the man to speak to this issue, but having raised the idea of the colostomy bag, I wanted to ask somebody about... The physical repercussions of the childhood abuse. So if you want to hand me over to somebody else, if you're happy to do that. Let's see how we go.

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2231.534 - 2231.915 Dr Jeni Haynes

Okay.

2232.856 - 2246.637 Meshel Laurie

I have a friend who unfortunately had a similar childhood to yours in terms of her father and her mother, for that matter. And she explained to me that a number of physical things

2246.617 - 2273.113 Meshel Laurie

things resulted from that one of them was that her body went into puberty and menopause very early yep and also that she's had to have a number of surgeries and procedures and i i'm assuming the colostomy bag is related to that yeah so um excuse me trigger warning please okay um so let's talk about this

2273.228 - 2283.861 Dr Jeni Haynes

Who are we talking to now, by the way? On muscles, I am the one that ends up doing gynecology, which I think is absolutely hilarious because I am not equipped to do gynecology.

2283.961 - 2285.844 Meshel Laurie

No, but you must be the bravest.

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