back from the borderline

what you lose when you share too much

15 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

You’ve been taught that vulnerability is the path to intimacy. That the more you reveal, the closer you become. But does sharing everything really b...

why limerence FEELS like love, but isn't

11 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ever found yourself trapped in a cycle of longing, obsession, and emotional chaos? A constant craving for validation, attention, or affection from som...

will AI set you free or control your mind? (psychiatry, mental health, and the machine age)

04 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

AI isn’t coming for your job. It’s coming for your mind.Psychiatry and artificial intelligence are merging faster than anyone is paying attention ...

what stories are you telling yourself about your suffering?

25 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s time to get real about the stories you tell yourself and how they shape your emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. If you've ever felt t...

dysfunctional family roles – part 5: hidden agendas (the peacemaker/mediator and narcissistic traits) [preview]

20 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to our deep dive into the heart of dysfunctional family dynamics. This is the final episode of our series where each segment builds upon ...

mind unveiled part 6: the individuation process as spiritual ascent (integrating outer psychology, personality types, and the mystical qabalah)

18 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever wondered what it truly means to become your most authentic self? To integrate all aspects of your being—both conscious and unconscious...

dysfunctional family roles – part 4: avoidance strategies (the mascot/clown and the lost child/rebel) [preview]

13 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to our deep dive into the complexities of dysfunctional family dynamics. You're tuning into Episode 4 of our series, where each segment b...

mind unveiled part 5: the shadow (working with your dark side)

11 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Do you ever feel like there's a part of yourself that you can't quite grasp? A hidden side that influences your thoughts and actions in ways you don't...

dysfunctional family roles – part 3: responsibilities and escape (the parentified child and the addict) [preview]

06 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to our exploration into the heart of dysfunctional family dynamics. This is Episode 3 of our series, where we continue to unravel the com...

mind unveiled part 4: the psyche as a living reality (exploring consciousness and the collective unconscious)

04 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever wondered about the hidden depths of your mind? Curious about what lies beneath your conscious thoughts and how it all shapes your realit...

dysfunctional family roles – part 2: the extremes of family focus (the golden child and the scapegoat) [preview]

30 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to our deep dive into the heart of dysfunctional family dynamics. This is Episode 2 of our series, where each segment builds upon the las...

mind unveiled part 3: unmasking the soul image (the false self, archetypes, the anima and animus)

28 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Do you feel like you’re playing a role, always adjusting who you are to fit in? What if there’s a deeper, truer version of you just beneath the su...

dysfunctional family roles – part 1: decoding the dynamics of dysfunction [preview]

23 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Every family has its secrets—those untold stories that shape us in ways we don't always see. What hidden roles within your family have shaped you? A...

mind unveiled part 2: carl jung and the advent of spiritual psychology

21 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

How do your dreams, symbols, and personal myths shape the life you’re living? What hidden dimensions of your psyche are waiting to be uncovered? In ...

anatomy of evil: britney spears (from pop princess to public prisoner – a story of exploitation and control) [preview]

16 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Britney Spears has been both a symbol of the dazzling heights of pop stardom and a stark reflection of the exploitation that fame often conceals. Her ...

mind unveiled part 1: the birth of psychotherapy and the theories of sigmund freud

14 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to part one of Mind Unveiled, a six-part series exploring the origins and evolution of depth psychology. To understand how modern psychology i...

from hashtag to holy: reclaiming the mystical art of manifestation from the clutches of social media [preview]

09 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What if everything you’ve been told about manifesting your ideal reality isn’t just oversimplified but fundamentally misguided? In a world where t...

what if the chains of your past are looser than you think? (breaking free from trauma bonding and repetition compulsion)

07 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever felt like you're stuck in a cycle, repeating the same mistakes, attracting the same toxic relationships, and feeling trapped in your own...

introducing my new podcast, “back from the borderline baby.”

01 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Motherhood cracked me wide open. It’s not the polished journey you see on Instagram or the step-by-step guides in books—it’s raw, unrelenting, a...

self-mastery part 2: embracing the journey through life and soul cycles

31 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Are you ready to dive deeper into the untapped realms of self-mastery and understand the powerful cycles that govern our lives? In this final part of ...

the systemic grooming of a generation (part 1): the unseen puppeteers of the media and pharmaceutical conspiracy [preview]

26 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever questioned why "chemical imbalance" and "mental illness" are the go-to explanations for our emotional struggles? What if these ideas hav...

self-mastery part 1: becoming a free agent and understanding the cycles of life

24 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Do you ever feel like you’re just reacting to life's script rather than writing your own? Are you tired of the same old self-help advice that doesn'...

sleeping with 100 men in a day: a psychological deep dive into sex, self-harm, and lily phillips

22 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

You’ve seen the headlines, maybe even watched the documentary—but what’s missing from the noise surrounding Lily Phillips’ viral stunt is a tr...

new age or new cage? (walking the tightrope of digital spirituality) [preview]

19 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, we’re exploring why more of us are forging our own spiritual paths, stepping away from organized religion and venturing into unchar...

the millennials who were groomed by the internet: my story, jay-z and diddy

17 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The early internet was chaos—a digital Wild West with no rules, no boundaries, and no protection. It was a breeding ground for predators, a place wh...

anatomy of evil: h.h. holmes (how victorian vice shaped the mask of a gentleman killer) [preview]

12 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode of "Anatomy of Evil," I peel back the velvet curtain of the Victorian era to reveal the disturbing world of H.H. Holmes, America’s f...

unplugging from the matrix: 10 arguments for deleting your social media right now

10 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If you’re not paying for the product, you are the product.” This incisive observation, often attributed to Andrew Lewis, lays bare the unsettling ...

“when trauma becomes your identity, that’s a dangerous thing” [preview]

07 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What's shaping our identities today? It seems like 'trauma' is the word on everyone's lips. From personal battles to cultural debates, the concept has...

the inner temple: an ASMR ceremony of self-initiation

05 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

You are about to step into a liminal space—a threshold between the seen and unseen, the known and the infinite. What you will hear is not merely wor...

do you act like you were never held as a baby? (how unmet needs in infancy might be sabotaging your ability to find love)

03 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

You’ve likely heard variations of the phrase: 'Wow, you must not have received enough love as a child,' or 'you’re acting like you were never held...

could your entire life be a virtual simulation? (unveiling what lies beyond the illusions we accept as reality) [preview]

28 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever considered that what you see and experience every day might not be the whole truth? What if the reality we interact with is just a simpl...

are you turning self-care into a form of self-punishment? (moving beyond hyper-control, emotional numbing and the body-mind disconnection)

26 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever found yourself neglecting essential needs like eating, drinking, or moving your body, only to spiral into a state of reactivity and emot...

this episode isn’t about UFOs – it’s about YOU [part 2]

25 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

I never planned to create a part two.When I released “This Isn’t About UFOs, It’s About You,” I thought I was done. I had shared everything I ...

has adulthood robbed you of youth’s magic? (reclaiming healing in unscheduled moments) [premium preview]

21 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever wondered why the carefree days of your youth felt so magical? Those spontaneous adventures with friends, the endless walks, and the impr...

is social media convincing us that everyone cheats? (unraveling the myth of universal infidelity)

19 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, we’re deep into the compelling world of social media and its profound impact on our perceptions of love and fidelity. In a digital ...

this episode isn’t about UFOs – it’s about YOU [part 1]

18 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The veils are lifting. Are you ready to see the truth? Why is humanity more mentally and physically unwell than ever before? Why are we so disconnecte...

no f*cks given: inside the rise of emotional detachment (and what it's doing to us)

14 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When did caring become “cringe”? In a world that champions irony over sincerity and detachment over vulnerability, it seems like not giving a f*ck...

how to recognize (and break) the cycle of relationship OCD

12 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Do you find yourself constantly questioning your feelings in a relationship, or feel the need to check your partner’s phone to ease your doubts? May...

are you in your drama era? (how to cleanse your life of conflict once and for all) [preview]

07 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Drama doesn’t just happen to us—we unknowingly play a part in it. Living in a cycle of constant conflict can feel like being stuck in quicksa...

beyond black and white: navigating moral purity in the age of cancel culture

05 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have we created a world where one wrong word can cast you out? In this episode, we explore how today’s culture of moral judgment can feel like ...

anatomy of evil: the fear of female rage [preview]

31 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What is it about women in horror that both fascinates and frightens us? This Halloween, we dig into the roots of the "Monstrous Feminine," exploring w...

for anyone who lies awake at night wondering wtf the point is (transforming existential terror into acceptance of life’s impermanence)

29 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Do you find yourself lying awake at night, terrified of death, paralyzed by the concept of forever, and gripped by the fear of losing the people you l...

in a world where we are glorifying and glamorizing our psychological suffering, are we losing the ability to overcome it? [preview]

24 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever felt like your mental health struggles are being dismissed as just part of a 'mental health crisis' without anyone addressing the root c...

healing childhood trauma with fairy tales: transforming emotional wounds with the handless maiden

22 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever felt like parts of your own story were out of your control? Did you know that you can use myths and fairy tales, along with their charac...

is it your attachment style, or is it just the wrong relationship? [preview]

17 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Spoiler alert: understanding your attachment style (and everyone else’s for that matter) is not the magical key to solving all your relationship woe...

when self-help stops helping: recognizing when therapy and introspection might be doing more harm than good

15 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Are you stuck in a cycle of self-reflection that seems to circle back rather than propel you forward? When does introspection stop being helpful? It's...

is there a ‘normal’ amount of sex in a relationship? [preview]

10 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

How often should you and your partner be having sex? Is there a magic number that signifies a healthy relationship? It’s easy to obsess over these q...

unlock higher states of consciousness by understanding the different levels of thinking (exploring ken wilber’s AQAL integral theory)

08 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever stopped to consider your own level of consciousness? Did you know that your way of thinking impacts every aspect of your life, your rela...

anatomy of evil: the salem witch trials (puritan paranoia, mass hysteria, and social scapegoating) [preview]

03 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode of "Anatomy of Evil," I peel back the curtain on the infamous Salem Witch Trials, diving deep into the murky waters of human fear and ...

are we blind to our own cultural sickness? (lessons from the mouse utopia experiment and behavioral sink)

01 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, you’ll discover how the environment and culture an individual is immersed in can actively shape—and even create—illnesses ...

the dark side of cosmetic surgery: real stories of regret [preview]

26 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever thought that a cosmetic procedure might transform your life, only to worry it could lead to crushing debt and lasting regret? In this ha...

too much to handle: understanding the power of your emotional intensity, sensory sensitivity, and overexcitabilities

24 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your big emotions, or found yourself misunderstood for being 'too much,' 'overly dramatic,' or just different from o...

the 48 laws of power: episode 3 (laws for self-protection) [preview]

19 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever felt like your attempts to maintain picture perfect image might be doing more harm than good? Or maybe you’ve struggled with balancing...

were you under-mothered? exploring the generational impact of “mother hunger”

17 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever felt a deep sense of isolation from your family, an intense awareness of death, or a constant craving for emotional nurturing from partn...

the 48 laws of power: episode 2 (laws for taking your power BACK) [preview]

12 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Do you ever think about how much your reputation shapes your life? Or feel like you're constantly stuck in a cycle of reactivity, wishing you could be...

the new gods: how commercialized spirituality and therapy culture have become dogmatic modern religions

10 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, we unravel the profound cultural shift that has elevated therapy, manifestation, and new-age spirituality to the status of modern-day...

the 48 laws of power: episode 1 (laws to recognize signs of manipulation) [preview]

05 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Individuals recovering from trauma, neglect, and abuse are often particularly vulnerable to manipulative tactics. Their desire to be liked and accepte...

exposing the troubled teen industry: surviving ‘the harvard of therapeutic boarding schools’ (ft. nick taber)

03 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Every year, thousands of young people are forcibly sent to facilities designed to control their behavior. These range from boot camps and behavior mod...

anatomy of evil – aileen wuornos (challenging the “monster myth:” trauma, gender bias, systemic failures and media exploitation) [preview]

29 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Dive into the dark complexities of Aileen Wuornos's life in this thought-provoking installment of our 'Anatomy of Evil' series. This episode transcend...

rose cartwright’s path from the poster girl for OCD to psychedelic awakening and holistic healing

27 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, you’ll join me for an interview with author, screenwriter, and activist Rose Cartwright, whose battle with disturbing intrusive tho...

the interstitium uncovered: trauma, healing, and your body’s hidden fluid spaces [preview]

22 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What if I told you that hidden within the fabric of your own body lies a discovery so profound it's shifting the very foundations of health science? P...

girlbosses and tradwives: embracing fluidity in parenthood and partnership

20 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, we'll explore the real-life impact of extreme gender roles, social media influence, and how embracing flexibility can break generatio...

how to stop turning every minor concern into a major meltdown [preview]

15 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever wondered why some days feel like a relentless highlight reel of your mistakes? Or why a minor setback can sometimes seem like an insurmo...

mean girls: healing from and overcoming the hidden harms of female bullying

13 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, we're diving into the covert and damaging world of 'mean girl' behavior, exploring its impact from high school to the workplace. Disc...

anatomy of evil: charles manson (charisma, manipulation, and control) [preview]

08 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this very first episode in my “Anatomy of Evil” series, I delve deep into the complex psychological landscape of Charles Manson, exploring the ...

online stigma and BPD: reacting to the internet's worst takes on pete davidson and jenna ortega

06 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

↓ Want to unlock ALL my BPD-related episodes? Scroll to the bottom of this post for more info. ↓Episode Description: This episode was inspired by ...

the antidepressant controversy: inside the heated debate over SSRI withdrawal symptoms

01 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever wondered about the real risks of antidepressants? Do you feel like the information you're getting from the psychiatric establishment and...

how to work with your dreams: uncovering your soul’s messages and transforming trauma with louise rosager

30 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Join me for an intimate conversation with Louise Rosager, a celebrated dreamwork teacher and creative coach, who has transformed countless lives by re...

takedown: laila mickelwait’s battle to expose the 'executive megapimps' behind pornhub's sex crimes

25 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Join me for a conversation with Laila Mickelwait, a fearless anti-human-trafficking activist and the author of the newly released book, Takedown: Insi...

mending mind and spirit: the path of sacred psychiatry with dr. judy tsafrir

23 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Join me for a transformative journey with Dr. Judy Tsafrir, a board-certified psychiatrist, Harvard Medical School faculty member, and a visionary in ...

old tricks, new faces: modern female pickup artists and their (outdated) 90s dating playbook [preview]

18 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Does he actually love you, or is he just tolerating you for as long as it takes him to get what he REALLY wants? It's a jarring question, one tha...

how psychiatry became the fast food of mental health treatments: exposing systemic failures and hidden agendas with dr. roger mcfillin

16 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this hard-hitting episode, I sit down with Dr. Roger McFillin, a board-certified clinical psychologist, executive director of the Center for Integr...

the evolution of melancholia: from ancient narratives to modern depression [preview]

11 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What if everything we think we know about depression is wrong? What if the very framework we've built around the concept of depression has been shaped...

healing your dysregulated nervous system: from flailing through life to micro-dosing silence with elisabeth kristof

09 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I sit down with Elisabeth Kristof, an expert in nervous system health and trauma resolution, the founder of Brain-Based Wellness and ...

the beauty paradox: unpacking our toxic obsession with youth and appearance [preview]

04 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Why are we so obsessed with looking young, and what does this obsession say about us as a society? From the ads we see on TV and social media to the c...

from labels to liberation: exploring the power threat meaning framework with dr. lucy johnstone

02 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Join me as I sit down with Dr. Lucy Johnstone, a trailblazing consultant clinical psychologist, author, and co-creator of the Power Threat Meaning Fra...

lessons from the borderline (how BPD is a disorder of relationship, NOT of personality) [preview]

27 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Borderline personality disorder is often stigmatized, with a significant number of professionals within the industry regarding borderline patients wit...

the curse position: exploring trauma and the supernatural in psychotherapy with alex monk

25 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Join me for a compelling exploration into the intersection of trauma, folklore, and the supernatural with psychotherapist and author Alex Monk. In thi...

when your spirit feels broken: how to recognize and survive a dark night of the soul [preview]

20 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever felt like everything you once knew is crumbling around you? Or perhaps you're grappling with a profound inner turmoil that seems to defy...

how psychiatry lost its way: bad science, bad medicine and the mistreatment of the mentally ill with robert whitaker

18 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Join me for a crucial conversation with Robert Whitaker, the fearless journalist and author whose investigations have profoundly challenged our unders...

are you guarding your heart too much? (how to break down your emotional walls) [preview]

13 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Are you often guarded, or do you find yourself stuck in patterns you can't seem to break? You might be living behind an "inner wall" — a psychologic...

taylor swift’s teenage dream: a depth psychological tour through ‘the tortured poets department’ and the puella aeterna archetype

11 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever wondered why Taylor Swift—and her music—seem to hold the entire music industry and legions of fans worldwide in what seems like a pe...

“when will it be my turn to find love?” (the dumpster fire of modern dating) [preview]

06 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Are you feeling punished by the dating gods? Wondering if you’re supposed to be alone forever? In this episode, I dive deep into a viral TikTok wher...

childhood emotional neglect part 11: healing (transforming suffering into strength and crafting a new narrative)

04 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Join me as we conclude our comprehensive series on childhood emotional neglect. Over the past episodes, we've explored what childhood emotional neglec...

reclaiming your spiritual path after religious trauma and commercialized spirituality [preview]

30 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, we're uncovering the reasons behind our modern Western society's spiritual starvation and lack of meaning. We'll explore how the Age ...

childhood emotional neglect part 10: healing (reclaiming your power and understanding threat responses)

28 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Join me as we conclude our multi-episode series on childhood emotional neglect. Over the course of episodes 1-9, you’ve delved deep into what childh...

exposing miss USA’s dark secrets: title holder resignations, misogyny, corruption, and 'everywhere like such as’

21 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this explosive episode, we peel back the glitzy veneer of the Miss USA and Miss Teen USA pageants to reveal a world riddled with scandal, misogyny,...

BPD as hysteria in sheep’s clothing: the persistent myth of female instability from ancient greece to modern psychiatry [preview]

16 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

↓ Want to unlock ALL my BPD-related episodes? Scroll to the bottom of this post for more info. ↓Episode Description: In this episode, we're taking...

childhood emotional neglect part 9: signs and symptoms – internalized anger, lack of self-discipline, and alexithymia

14 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In Episode 9 of our ongoing series on Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), we delve into the final three in our list of symptoms that shape the adult li...

the healing power of labyrinths and EMDR [preview]

09 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Discover the profound legacy of labyrinths, not just as intricate mazes, but as powerful tools in modern psychological therapy. This episode explores ...

drake vs. kendrick: the battle over allegations of grooming and underage girls in the digital age

07 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Should Drake's denial of Kendrick Lamar's allegations of pursuing underage girls open a wider conversation on grooming, social media, and consent? In ...

“why did you even have kids?” (how different generations have transmitted emotional neglect) [preview]

03 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this exclusive preview of a premium episode, join me as we delve into the intricate web of generational emotional neglect, exploring how historical...

childhood emotional neglect part 8: signs and symptoms – skewed self-perception, lack of self-compassion, and toxic shame

30 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In Episode 8 of our ongoing series on Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), we continue our exploration of the symptoms that shape the lives of adults af...

how a dysfunctional family system functions like a cult [preview]

25 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this exclusive preview of a premium BFTB episode, we explore the disturbing parallels between dysfunctional family structures and cult organization...

childhood emotional neglect part 7: signs and symptoms – chronic feelings of emptiness and counter-dependence

23 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

As we transition into a new phase of our mega-series exploring the impact of childhood emotional neglect (CEN), we’ll begin examining the lasting ef...

childhood emotional neglect part 6: linking past pain and present health while challenging the myths of modern recovery methods

16 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Episode 6 of my deep-dive into Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) series ventures into uncharted territories, where the shadows of neglect stretch beyo...

reparenting visualization series introduction [free premium offering]

11 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This is the introductory episode of a premium visualization series available exclusively to my paid subscribers - I've made the full episode available...

childhood emotional neglect part 5: sociopathic, childlike, and well-meaning-but-neglected-themselves parents

09 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

While this is far from the final episode of our mega-series exploring the impacts of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), this does mark the final episo...

childhood emotional neglect part 4: workaholic, perfection-obsessed, and special-care parents

02 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Part four of our series unfolds the complex narratives of three more distinct parenting styles that, beneath their unique challenges, share a common t...

is avoiding discomfort by self-censorship halting your healing process? [preview]

28 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this free preview of a premium episode, we dive deep into the realm of self-censorship, exploring its nuanced definition as the act of muting one's...