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Big Stuff With Danielle Colley

Parenting After Loss and How Radical Reframes Change Everything

01 Oct 2025

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Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textWhen Andy Whitfield died at 39 from cancer, his widow Vashti faced an impossible question: How do you survive profound loss while raising two young children alone? In this deeply honest conversation about grief, solo parenting, and personal transformation, Vashti Whitfield shares how she turned devastating loss into meaningful legacy work.Vashti Whitfield is a transformational facilitator, executive coach, and filmmaker who co-created the award-winning documentary Be Here Now: The Andy Whitfield Story. In this episode of the Big Stuff podcast, host and life coach Danielle Colley explores the realities of anticipatory grief, navigating parenting after loss, and why protecting loved ones from pain can sometimes do more harm than good.This conversation offers practical wisdom for anyone dealing with grief, life transitions, terminal illness in the family, or the challenge of rebuilding identity after devastating loss. Vashti's approach combines vulnerability with actionable insights about living fully in the present moment—even when life feels impossibly hard.00:00 Introduction to Vashti Whitfield's Journey01:56 Meeting Vashti: A Personal Anecdote08:33 The Story of Andy Whitfield12:08 The Making of 'Be Here Now'14:40 Reframing Grief and Finding Purpose18:23 Navigating Anticipatory Grief24:04 Living and Dying: A Personal Reflection26:00 Transforming Grief into Legacy Work33:01 Turning Creativity into Legacy34:12 Embracing All of You34:43 Parenting Challenges and Non-Attachment36:58 Solo Parenting and Letting Go41:26 Owning Your Parenting Mistakes46:16 Rediscovering Yourself48:26 Intimacy and Connection56:59 Advice for Big Life Changes59:48 Final Thoughts and ReflectionsConnect with Vashti Whitfield:See her Linktree: VASHTI WHITFIELDCheck out her substack: The V. SpotFind her on Instagram - vashtiwhitfieldConnect on LinkedIn- Vashti WhitfieConnect with Danielle: See her website - https://daniellecolley.com.au/But the Chocolate Bar Life book - https://www.thechocolatebarlife.com.au/buy-bookFind her on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/iamdaniellecolley/ Connect on Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/IAmDanielleColley/?_rdc=1&_rdr#Watch on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@iamdaniellecolley Check out her substack - https://substack.com/@iamdaniellecolley?utm_source=user-menu 

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