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Chapter 1: What unusual method does the guest use for dog training?
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Last night, a blown call changed a game. This morning, the internet lost its mind, and nobody's telling you exactly what happened.
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Chapter 2: How does the guest's husband react to the dog training approach?
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Chapter 3: What challenges does the guest face with her dog's potty training?
I appreciate that. I'd be seeing it, but I'm like, man, I still got like so much more to do. Like Prince, he dropped like 30 albums. We dropped like five right now. That's the rate we got to be going. Yeah, that's a good attitude. No matter the era, Drink Champs brings you the biggest names and the most unfiltered conversations.
Listen to Drink Champs from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You don't know me. A confession I can't take back. I am the masked speaker. Text to 78592 says, once as a joke, I sang Hotel California by the Eagles in a Mexican accent. And now I can't sing it any other way. Welcome to the Hotel California.
As much as I'd love for all of us to try that and get canceled immediately.
Chapter 4: What unconventional advice does the guest find online for training her dog?
I just did it. I think we'd like to stay employed just a little bit longer. I also forgot I'm Hispanic. Yeah, so you can get away with it, Jose. I'm very white over here, Jose. I know my lane, dude. You're right, you're right. I'd like all of us to keep our jobs just long enough to hear a few more secrets from our listeners right here on The Mass Speaker.
We've got a woman on the phone today who's chosen Marlaine as her fake name. Marlaine, welcome to the show. Hey, y'all. How you doing? Good. Hey, y'all. How are you doing?
Chapter 5: How does the guest feel about her dog training experience?
I'm fine. Thank you. We are ready for you, Marlene. The voice changer is on. You are the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear the confession. Okay, I can't believe I'm going to do this. Okay. Okay, you sound so nervous right now. Are you sure you're okay? I'm okay. I'm okay. Okay. A few years ago, I reallyā Can you not do it in a Mexican accent, please, Marlene?
Just use your normal voice for this if possible.
Chapter 6: What humorous incidents occur during the training process?
It's better than mine, okay? I get it. But try again. Go ahead. Okay. So a few years ago, I really wanted to rescue a dog. My husband really, he wasn't so sure about it. He just thought it would be too much work because at the time we had two very young kids. Yeah. I mean, he's right to be concerned. It's like adding a third child that never gets smarter.
Whole nother layer of responsibility that you're adding into your life. Another small furry child.
uh-huh so i really had to convince him and i was like a teenager or something you want the car like i'll be totally responsible and it will all be on me and i'll feed him and i'll walk in and i'll train him and everything you know i've got this okay you gave him the full dog pretty much yeah he won't even notice So finally, after much groveling and begging, he agreed.
Chapter 7: What lessons does the guest learn from her dog training journey?
So you're getting a dog together. That's awesome. Cool. We adopted a very cute little brown Border Collie. Yeah, I'm glad you got one of those low-energy dogs. Yeah. Border Collies are so high-maintenance. Oh, my God. But so cute. So we named her Muff, which is short for muffin. Okay. She was a really good dog right when she came to us, except for one thing. Oh.
She was just not learning, like, how to use the bathroom outside. Oh, no.
Chapter 8: How does the episode conclude regarding the guest's dog training success?
Oh, the body. That's, like, the biggest thing. Yeah. No, I swear, she would just look at me and do it right in front of me. Oh. What an insult. How did you deal with that? Well, so it went on for months, like a long time. Whoa. Wow. Often I was just kind of covering for her, like when there'd be an accident and I'd send my husband to go do something in the garage.
Oh, I thought you were going to tell your husband that you did it. Yeah. I thought I was playing the kids for sure. The dog has to That wasn't muff. That was me, honey. Because you don't want your husband to be like, see, this is the problem that I was talking about. It's too much of a headache. Well, I had to keep muff in his good graces. But seriously, I couldn't figure out how to train her.
I did the YouTube tutorials. I talked to friends. I've had dogs before, but nothing was working. So then I found this very random tip online. The headline was like, nothing else works. Try this. Okay, like a Hail Mary on potty training. This is the last resort. What is it? The advice was to go outside with the dog and show them to use the bathroom outside. Excuse me, what? By doing it yourself.
Oh, so you and the dog are now peeing together. I hope that's the extent of it. Well, so every morning, like around five, I wake up and sneak out to the yard with my, and I do my business. What, what? Oh my gosh. Please tell me your kids aren't playing in that yard. Yo, that is like, that's wild. That's dedication. Do you bag it and pick up after yourself? No, Muff does it for her.
So luckily we have like a pretty private yard. Oh, just in your own yard? Good. Yeah, that's good. But when you're at the dog park, you're going to get a lot of weird looks. Oh no, dog park. Okay, wait, how long did you have to do this? It was easily like three weeks of doing this. Okay. Three weeks every single day? I feel like I would have given up after three times.
Like, well, that didn't work. Experiment over. I love, I love Moss. And I really, I just, I thought she's worth it. But I felt really ridiculous because I was having to clean up not only after her inside, but now myself outside. Wow. Okay. I hope your kids never saw it. No, thankfully. And if any neighbor or someone did, they never said it to me because what on earth would you say anyway? Yeah.
Marlene's drunk again. Yeah. Oh, it's 7 a.m. Yep. There she goes. My gosh. There was one close call when my husband was in the backyard and stepped in something. Oh. Ew. Oh. Oh. But he was actually kind of happy saying, oh, well, hey, at least she's learning to go in the backyard. And I did not tell him that it wasn't the dog. You learned. Wow. That part was too much for me. Yeah. Gee.
Everything is cool now. It works. And I don't have to demonstrate. And she does it on her own. And I have honestly never understandably told anybody about this before. I don't know why. Please don't get a cat. I don't think you'll fit in the litter box. You are so brave to come on and publicly admit that. She's so nervous. I bet her tail was between her legs. I know. Oh, definitely. For sure.
You're a good girl. Good girl. You are. You're a good dog mom. You did whatever it takes. So be proud of that and text in 78592. If you have a confession you've been holding on to, we'll hide your identity, mask your voice, and make you our next mask speaker. Phone tap's coming up right after this.
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