Caleb Can't Read
Episodes
Episode 87: Lord Byron Pt. 3
22 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Dead kids;We're finally here, to the ending legacy of Lord Byron! Fraught with love affairs, well-meaning missions, and negle...
Episode 86: Lord Byron Pt. 2
08 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Incest, Pedophilia, Rape, Suicide; Well I'm sure you can tell from the trigger warnings, but the second part of our three-par...
Episode 85: Lord Byron Pt. 1
05 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Child Abuse, Dead Kids, Incest, Pedophilia, Rape, Torture;Welcome! To Caleb Can't Read Season 7! This time we're comin...
Episode 84: Richard Connell
02 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textFor our special 11th author on this season finale, we are looking at the short history of Richard Connell, the author of one of horror&a...
Episode 83: John Howard Griffin
23 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textYou ever go a little too far with your good intentions? John did. And hoo boy is it a doozy. Come cringe with us as we discuss the...
Episode 82: George Dawson
23 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Dead kids;Been a while since we talked about lynchings, shootings, and the misjustices of America, hasn't it? Well wake up an...
Episode 81: Walt Whitman
18 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textWelcome! To Nicole Can't Leave! Join us as we go over the life of poetry's most closeted man, and voted Most Likely to Sme...
Episode 80.5: Caleb Can't Hang
04 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textI'll reiterate it here in case you don't have the time, but basically Caleb will be taking several short hiatuses between auth...
Episode 80: Shirley Jackson
08 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textooOOOOoowe're here to tell you frightening tales-- like those of manipulative husbands, bad adaptations, and mixing your prescripti...
Episode 79: Jose Rizal Pt. 3
19 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textDamn, who's that guy over there in the corner? Oh man, you say he's a doctor? And a writer? And in trouble with the Span...
Episode 78: Jose Rizal Pt. 2
03 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textThis poor dude might've actually done less damage had he just been left the hell alone. Sure they say the pen is mightier than th...
Episode 77: Jose Rizal Pt. 1
20 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textSometimes you gotta be the change you wanna see in the world. And sometimes, you gotta piss off a whole lot of people to do it. Join...
Episode 76: Federico Garcia Lorca
15 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textHey kids, you wanna get mad about the shitty injustices of the world? You wanna hear the story of a brilliant poet whose life had to e...
Episode 75: Sun Tzu
09 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Torture;You ever have your boss ask you to make a manual of your process at work but really you know they're just trying to und...
Episode 74: Nadia Anjuman
18 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Abuse;While I wouldn't call this our happiest episode, the story of Nadia Anjuman needs to be told. Her work is criminally un...
Episode 73: Percy Bysshe Shelley Pt. 2
11 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Dead kids, Suicide;When a guy like Percy comes along, history seems to revolve around them. Not in like-- a way in which important...
Episode 72: Percy Bysshe Shelley Pt. 1
06 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textIt's been two years since we last talked about our Terrible Trio: Mary, Percy, and the good ol' Lord Byron. But today we con...
Episode 71: Cormac McCarthy Pt. 2
24 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textMerry Christmas, you filthy animals aware of your own degradation and the wallowing of your own sins, it's the conclusion to our Co...
Episode 70: Cormac McCarthy Pt. 1
12 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textWelcome to Season 6, cowpoke! Join us as we discuss our favorite all-time author, Cormac McCarthy! For the little we really know abo...
Episode 69: The Kama Sutra
20 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textLight up those skin-safe wax candles and slip on into the non-slip tub, for our Season 5 finale we're gettin' greased up, guff...
Episode 68: Charles Dickens Pt. 2
12 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textIf you thought the guy was a bastard before, well, no need to change your viewpoint for this episode, I guess. We're here to find...
Episode 67: Charles Dickens Pt. 1
29 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textMy lord did this guy get up to some shit. Between the terrorist bird, the woman he tried to drown, the man he was sort of complicit in...
Episode 66: Emily Dickinson
07 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textEmily Dickinson could only be described as a Livewire within poetry. Someone who Blasted the competition out of the water. Unfortuna...
Episode 65: Philip K. Dick Pt. 2
18 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textWhat a long road it's been. And that road is filled with androids dressed as Romans looking to kill you in a plot 2000 years in t...
Episode 64: Philip K. Dick Pt. 1
15 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Rape, Suicide;Sex! Drugs! Drugs! Rock n' Roll! Drugs! Well, maybe not so much the sex and Rock n' Roll but at le...
Episode 63: Jane Austen Pt. 2
22 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textYou know how to piss off a fanbase? Tell them the truth. Join us as we go into the rest of Jane Austen's life, as she produces ...
Episode 62: Jane Austen Pt. 1
09 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textMiss us? Don't answer that it'll make me sad. Well we took an impromptu mid-season break by mistake but we're back! ...
Episode 61: William S. Burroughs Pt. 2
14 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Pedophilia;Jesus Christ this guy. For some of you, this will for sure be a sad goodbye, as we delve into the remaining years of Wi...
Episode 60: William S. Burroughs Pt. 1
30 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Child Abuse, Pedophilia;Now have we dealt with some real pieces of shit here on Caleb Can't Read? Boy have we. Conmen, tort...
Episode 59: Francois Rabelais
17 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textIf there were ever a superhero that could drown a man in piss and make you question why you ever called on them in the first place, Fran...
Episode 58: Roald Dahl Pt. 2
21 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textFor a man such as Roald Dahl, author of "The BFG", "Matilda", and "The Fantastic Mr. Fox", what can you sa...
Episode 57: Roald Dahl Pt. 1
09 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Child Abuse, Dead Kids;To those of you familiar with Roald Dahl's life, you may remember his beginnings as a severely abused ch...
Episode 56: Rudyard Kipling Pt. 2
20 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Dead Kids;Welcome, you bunch of animals! Come delve into the heyday of Rudyard Kipling, from his surprisingly non-racist classic &...
Episode 55: Rudyard Kipling Pt. 1
26 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textAh, Kipling. A brilliant poet. A wonderful storyteller. A hell of a racist. Join us as we discuss the early life of English lite...
Episode 54: Jose Saramago Pt. 2
31 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textKept you waiting? Well we've been dealing with a lot of illnesses lately, which oddly enough is the theme for this episode and Jo...
Episode 53: Jose Saramago Pt. 1
16 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Child abuse;For what would have been his 100th birthday, we are presenting you with the early life of Jose Saramago, arguably (by me...
Outtakes
15 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textLook, we are not experts. I swear to God, if ever we did a live show, people would have to sit through a good 20 minutes before we act...
Trailer
03 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textWelcome to the show, folks!
Episode 52: Sylvia Plath
17 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Abuse, Dead Kids, Suicide;For our Season 4 finale, we bring to you a lot of sad. For real, there's like 3 different people wh...
Episode 51: Nostradamus
30 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textBet you didn't see this one coming! Huh?! Haha, yeah... Anyway, this guy's a fuckin' fraud, and we're here to ...
Episode 50: Helen Keller
17 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Alabama;It's our 50th episode! And to celebrate, we're going over the sad sad tale of Helen Keller, most well-known for ...
Episode 49: Louis Braille
02 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textCome join us as we discuss the life of Louis Braille, the man who invented a system for the blind to read while he was only 15! And al...
Episode 48: Roberto Bolano
22 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Torture;Welcome to perhaps the most pretentious Latin American writer there ever was, Roberto Bolano! Come learn the backstory of ...
Episode 47: Chaucer
09 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Rape;You may know him as "Geoffrey Chaucer", but we know him as "Geoffrey Chaucer, God of Farts". Welcome to o...
Episode 46: Willa Cather Pt. 2
29 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Rape;Good goofin' God we're back in Nebraska. Come join us as we go over the greatest works of Willa Cather; including &...
Episode 45: Willa Cather Pt. 1
09 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textWe hear you, and your prayers have been answered: you want more Nebraska. Well today we have for you the embodiment of Nebraska itself...
Episode 44: Herman Melville Pt. 3
27 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textWelcome to our finale of Herman Melville folks. The end of his depressing, destructive life, and yet the birth of Billy Budd, the &quo...
Episode 43: Herman Melville Pt. 2
11 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textCome join us as we go in length into the great American masterpiece, "Moby Dick"! There's traumatized toddlers! Dick ...
Episode 42: Herman Melville Pt. 1
29 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textSplit your lungs with blood and thunder, kids! It's Herman Melville! As we begin our journey into the life of this troubled sai...
Episode 41.5: Scheduling Update
25 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textHello, all. This is just a quick update for anyone wondering why we've got such a strange episode schedule currently. Short ans...
Episode 41: Dalton Trumbo
14 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textWHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME YOU LITTLE COMMIE? YOU THINK YOU CAN TALK TO UNCLE SAM THAT WAY? Well it turns out that someone DID talk to U...
Episode 40: Iceberg Slim
30 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Abuse, just... a lot of abuse all around. Please skip this one if you've got any kind of hangups on this;Welcome to the first...
Episode 39: Charles Bukowski
19 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Child Abuse, Rape;You know us, we love a good shithead. Well we're digging up one of the most glorified of all the drunk, abu...
Episode 38: William Pierce III
12 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textWell we typed in "worst author" and this guy unsurprisingly topped every list right ahead of Glenn Beck. Come join us as we ...
Episode 37: Beowulf
05 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textCOME FROM THE LAND OF THE ICE AND SNOW FROM THE MIDNIGHT SUN WHERE THE HOT SPRINGS BLOW we're doing "Beowulf" today. Co...
Episode 36: Johann David Wyss
26 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textWe've got emotional issues and we're having a hard time dealing with them, it's Johann David Wyss & Co., the authors ...
Episode 35: Daniel Defoe
21 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textDo you love spies? Pirates? Gilligan's Island? Then this episode is for you! Come listen to the tale of Daniel Defoe, the m...
Episode 34: The History of Book Burnings
12 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textWell what can I say? While this shit has always been around, it feels as though it's having a dramatic spike in America recently....
Episode 33: Cervantes Pt. 2
06 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textWelcome to the tale of "Don Quixote"! If you wanted a tale of drama, love, and intrigue, see our episode on Mary Wollstonecr...
Episode 32: Cervantes Pt. 1
30 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textWe've got everything with this one. We've got knights. We've got pirates. We've got slavery. It's a ver...
Episode 31: Jean-Dominique Bauby
23 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textI know you've probably been thinking, "Hey, I've got good excuses not to do that thing I've always wanted to do. L...
Episode 30: Mary Shelley Pt. 2
15 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Dead Kids, Incest;God these kids are the fucking worst. Are we ready to talk about their worst attributes and best personalities? ...
Episode 29: Mary Shelley Pt. 1
08 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Suicide;Do me a favor: think about how refined and elegant you'd expect an accomplished author (such as Mary Shelley) and a wor...
Episode 28: Mary Wollstonecraft
29 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Rape, Suicide;It's good to be back. And with a recording device that so far hasn't fucked us! This season we're k...
Episode 27.5: We Can't Publish The Next Guy
29 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textAlright look, we DID have a 10th author for our season finale but due to our information being readily available, we are gonna have to v...
Episode 27: J.M. Barrie
13 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Pedophilia (EXCEPT THERE'S NO EVIDENCE TO SUGGEST HE DID ANY SUCH THING BUT WE CERTAINLY DID DISCUSS IT), Suicide;Who wants to ...
Episode 26: Flannery O'Connor Pt. 2
06 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Dead Kids;Hoo boy here we go with the racism again. Join us for our discussion on Flannery O'Connor's Souther Gothic mas...
Episode 25: Flannery O'Connor Pt. 1
24 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textWith the need for goth girlfriends on the rise, we can bring you at least one of those things: the advent of the Southern Gothic. Whil...
Episode 24: Ralph Ellison
17 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Incest, Rape;He's angry, he's sick of the hypocrisy, and he's not afraid to shove his middle finger in your face and ...
Episode 23: William McGonagall
11 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textDear God in Heaven he's known as the worst poet in history and for good reason. Between whales, bridges, and jute, the man is an ...
Episode 22: E. E. Cummings
25 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textcome listen to thisepisode (this episodeis for you)it's about the man who made ...
Episode 21: Henry Darger
18 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Child Abuse, Dead Kids;There's not going to be a sweeter way of going around this rather than saying... Look, this motherfuck...
Episode 20: James Joyce Pt. 2
11 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textWell if there's one thing we can say about James Joyce, is that he could "smell" success coming a mile away... It'...
Episode 19: James Joyce Pt. 1
04 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Child Abuse;The sky opens.The sun gleans through a break in the clouds.A trumpet sounds.It's actually a huge fart. Anyway her...
Episode 18: Virgil
28 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textCome hither! And listen to the tale of the man behind the story of A-noos, the hero of the "Aeneid", and the writer of the l...
Episode 17: Homer Pt. 2
21 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textHomer himself won't be too much of a subject here, as he didn't exist, and we still wouldn't know enough about him if we ...
Episode 16: Homer Pt. 1
14 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textToday we discuss the tale of the great blind poet, Homer! Or rather the myth. The rumor? The strangely sexual gossip of the blind ...
Episode 15: The Marquis de Sade
11 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Child Abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, Torture;For the man who's thought of every perversion possible, where else can you go but tortur...
Episode 14: Edward Abbey Pt. 2
27 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textYou think you're tough? How many houses have you set on fire for the cause?Coward.Anyway, here is the conclusion to the tale of a...
Episode 13: Edward Abbey Pt. 1
26 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textScoop your coal and eat your dirt, it's time for the most conservationist-minded man to get deep, DEEEEP inside your pants and whoe...
Episode 12: Anne Frank Pt. 2
20 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Alabama, the Holocaust in general;Alright, gonna level with you: it's another Anne Frank episode so the amount of canned laught...
Episode 11: Anne Frank Pt. 1
13 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textI mean, you know what's coming.
Episode 10: Dante Alighieri
05 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Suicide, Torture;Join us for the tale of a (stalkish) man who wrote such a stunning and critical hit of a "fuck you" that ...
Episode 9: Walter M. Miller, Jr. Pt. 2
29 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Suicide;Join us for the conclusion to our tale on the man who brought us the true post-Apocalyptic genre.
Episode 8: Walter M. Miller, Jr. Pt. 1
23 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textAlright, look. This shit's pretty dark at first. Although we don't know much of the life of one Walter M. Miller, Jr., we ...
Episode 7: H.P. Lovecraft Pt. 2
16 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textLet's call a spade a spade here. Lovecraft had some great ideas, but the man was afraid of circles. If this were a kindly old w...
Episode 6: H.P. Lovecraft Pt. 1
08 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textJoin us for the man with brilliant ideas, poor prose, and an unfortunately-named cat, the man who rose to Godhood among Deviant Art arti...
Episode 5: Harper Lee
30 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Alabama, Rape;Come one and all, to hear the inspiring tale of Nelle Harper Lee, the woman who wrote the American classic "To Ki...
Episode 4: Ayn Rand Pt. 2
24 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textWe hope you like trains, because we’re discussing one of the longest books ever written, "Atlas Shrugged", as well as the co...
Episode 3: Ayn Rand Pt. 1
19 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Rape;Join us for the unfortunate tale of the woman who failed upwards so hard she became an idol to the people who would never read ...
Episode 2.5: Jordan Can’t Hang
19 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textNew rule: No spicy food on the day of recording.
Episode 2: Osamu Dazai
17 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Pedophilia, Suicide;Listen to the mesmerizing voices of two shrill men discuss perhaps the most depressed author of his day, Osamu D...
Episode 1: Casanova
05 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a textTW: Incest, Pedophilia, Rape;Come one and all, but not too much, for the tale of "Jacques" Casanova, the 18th century’s most...