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Chapter 1: What is the concept behind 'Never Have I Ever' podcast?
Hi, I hope you've been enjoying your Clare Byrne Show podcast this week. If you liked what you heard there, be sure to check out my new podcast series, Never Have I Ever. The latest episode explores something I'm kind of fascinated by and might just try sometime. My guest was the actor and teacher Rob Murphy. Take a listen.
I'll say ban her from the front desk. Ban that Clare Bourne wagon. So you're more Mrs. Brown than Panty Bliss? That's a great way of putting it there now, Clare. Putting it on me gravestone. Well, never have I seen it before. A psychiatric nurse and a panto dame. The whole audience laughed because I turned around and went, oh, no, you didn't.
I'll show you how to rub your lamp to get the best wish. Will we keep going?
Chapter 2: Who is Rob Murphy and what is his connection to panto?
Keep going. We'll stay on the script.
Never have I ever. Never have I ever. Never have I ever. Never have I ever. Never have I ever.
There are certain things in life that I've just accepted are probably not going to happen for me. Things like DJing in Ibiza. I don't think that's going to happen. I think we can safely say that at this stage. I'm unlikely to become a Formula One driver. And I think we can also safely say that I'm not going to climb Everest. Like I'm 50. That's just not going to happen.
But there is something that I've never tried that really does fascinate me. And I think I'm going to surprise you when I say what it is. Big hair, long lashes, billions of sequins, not millions, billions. Children screaming with laughter while their dads are completely humiliated in the front row.
In the middle of all of that, there's a man who has become a larger than life woman for a few hours every night. I am, of course, talking about the life of a panto dame. And there are people who do this for a living. So never have I ever been a panto dame. But I know someone who has, and he's sitting here with me.
Oh, no, you don't.
Oh, yes, I do. It's Rob Murphy. How are you? I'm good. Good. How are you? I'm great. Never have I ever been a panto dame. And we're going to talk about all of that and how you came to be a panto dame. But first of all, what's in the bag?
I know.
The white plastic bag. OK, are you ready for this? Looks like it has calf manure in it or something.
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Chapter 3: What fascinates Clare about the life of a panto dame?
It is white, really, isn't it? Yeah, kind of blondish white. Yeah. It kind of reminds me of you.
It's plaited in the front. Yeah. And then it looks a bit 80s. What do I do, go down?
Yeah, go down and go up. Oh, fab. I think you should leave it on for the entire podcast. Gorgeous. My own hair is sticking out here as well. It brings out your eyes. How do you feel when you put that on? Well, as you can see now, it's actually really light, isn't it? It's like wearing a hat. It's really light. And it stays on.
I'm enjoying it. Yeah.
How do you keep it on? Clips. Okay. That now, for example, might need clips, but most of the wigs need like loads and loads of clips. Have I this too far forward? Yeah, a little bit back and you'd blend it in with your foundation. Yeah.
You're criticising my foundation now as well.
No, your foundation's lovely.
Well, you told me through the process. So you mentioned foundation there and this and the clips. I'm just, I love this now.
Love this wig. You're in your element. How does it all work? It's lovely actually, the prep, because when I arrived to the theatre, nobody else is really there. So there's a nice quietness in the building. You're first. Yes, I'm first. There might be some techies around, some lights, some sound, but it's just me.
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Chapter 4: How does Rob prepare for his role as a panto dame?
We have a saying in our industry, you're only as good as your last gig, you know, and you want to go out there and you want to be the best it's ever been each time you do it. And people have paid a lot of money to be there at Christmas at a time when families don't have a lot of money. And you want to go out and give them the best time of their lives so they go home happy.
So yeah, Rob kind of disappears, but Buffy's full force then once I look into the mirror and I see that face and I go, yeah.
She's here.
Let's go wild.
Rob Murphy has been on stage since he was a teenager. During the year, the Dubliner runs a drama school and teaches young people right across the country. But for a few weeks every Christmas, he becomes somebody else entirely. Buffy, a whirlwind of wigs. sequins and one-liners and one of Ireland's best-known pantomime dames.
And this Pride Month, I found myself thinking about performance and identity. Whether it's drag, comedy, theatre or panto, what is it about putting on a costume that can unlock a completely different side of ourselves? And by pulling on a dress and a wig, can we sometimes become somebody completely new? When you meet people for the first time and you say, I am a panto dame, what's the response?
What's the reaction?
Yeah, well, I never say that. I say I'm an actor. Or I say I'm a drama teacher. You don't really say I'm a panto dame. On my wedding day, I do remember the celebrant said, well, never have I seen it before. A psychiatric nurse and a panto dame. The whole audience laughed because I turned around and went, oh, no, you didn't. I was on the wedding video for life now.
Well, yes, she called me a panto dame, but I don't, like, say... You don't identify. I don't identify as, yes. For me, I'm acting as Buffy, and Buffy happens to be a panto dame. Yeah. But I am that character.
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Chapter 5: What challenges do panto performers face during shows?
So that makes it all new for me every day.
My husband still does that. And we've been, I don't know, how many years have I been going to the pack show? Well over 10, right? And every year I can feel him beside me tensing. I go, what's so scary about this? You know what's going to happen? They're going to have a bit of fun and then they're going to leave you alone.
But it's just like terrifying for him. Yeah, and the daddy who becomes the daddy, the one I pick out the show, is kind of like a character. They kind of become a character in the show. So let's say it's Tom in the front. Hiya, Tom. But I'll come back and say, Tom, you're still here, you know. Tom's looking at me. I can't do me lines. Tom's looking... But that becomes a character in the show.
So that Tom character. Now sometimes, this is a funny story, sometimes when the shows are so together, so we might do a three o'clock and a six o'clock. So the three o'clock is probably down at half five and you're back on stage at half six. It's very hard not to say the daddy from the first show.
Does it even matter though?
Oh, I was mortified. Does it? I did. So we now have a whiteboard in the backstage. Oh, that's the name. So before I go on, the name is written on it. Because I did it once and I was mortified.
Yeah.
Yeah, because I'm a perfectionist.
And you're a trained actor. You trained in Ireland, you trained in the UK, you went back and did your Masters then, didn't you?
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Chapter 6: How does audience interaction influence a panto performance?
And they're like... That can be a little bit distraught. I remember in the Tivoli one time, somebody, can I be a little bit, Sammy, show us your sausage. I'm on stage with Alan and I'm going, oh my goodness, she's after show. Will we keep going? Keep going, we'll stay on the script. Yeah, so that was a group of like, girlos out for the night.
I thought you were in stitches though. I was in stitches. That turned me back to the audience. You do that thing though with Alan who plays Simon Foster where you have a laugh on stage but I take it that's sort of scripted in isn't it?
No. It is. It's not. It is. Sometimes an improv will come and it works really well and we'll keep that laugh in maybe but that is organic. They're not written in. It works really well. Yeah, it is organic. You get more of a laugh from that sometimes than the scripted laughs. 100%. I love when he calls me the wrong name or something. It's brilliant.
Or when an audience member is going to the bar and gets up and walks and we follow them and we make a show of them. Or just at the end, when we're just coming to the end of the show and people are going, oh, that's the end now. I get the last bus. And you see them getting up to go. And we stop the show and make a holy show. Are you getting the last bus, missus?
Like that kind of stuff makes it, doesn't it? It just makes it so people are like, oh my God, I'm not standing up here.
I suppose it comes back to what you were saying earlier about you having the freedom to be more than the script.
Yeah. Thankfully. Yeah. You know, they do allow me to...
But still being Buffy, right? You're still in character. And going back to the lovely wig that I tried on there at the beginning, what is the hardest bit physically? Like, is it the makeup? Is it the wigs? Is it the dresses? The costume changes. Tights.
You wear tights, don't you? Yeah, I wear studded tights. Yeah, De Monte tights, Clare. Beautiful. How many pairs? I actually don't change tights. Everything else changes.
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Chapter 7: What misconceptions exist about panto dames?
I do love her, yeah.
Do you feel like she is you or is she separate to you or is she a character on a page?
I feel like there's a bit of Buffy in everybody. I feel like we all have that outrageous side. Like, I think Claire Bourne has a bit of Buffy in her.
Well, this is the whole reason you're here. I want to know, could I do it? I don't think I could because it just makes me nervous.
Do you think I could? I think you could, yeah. I think there's a bit of outrageousness in everybody and there's a bit of wildness and everybody has a wild side. And I think that's what Buffy represents for women. Is, oh, when I was in my 20s, I was like that. You know what I mean? And my aunt comes and she's a nun. She's an 80-year-old nun. And she comes and she loves Buffy.
And she texts me, go wild, Buffy. Sends me WhatsApp.
Go wild, Buffy. Even the dirty bits.
There are some dirty bits. Ah, they're innuendos.
Innuendos. Over the kids' heads.
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Chapter 8: How does Rob balance teaching drama with performing?
It's ups and downs and dancing and singing and everything in between.
What's the biggest misconception people have about panto dames, do you think?
I think because we're so outrageous on stage that we're like that in real life, but really we're quite quiet.
Oh, people expect you to be a bit wild and you're not.
I remember when I moved out first, I got a room with my friend Mary in our house. People kept... Rob Murphy's moving in with you. Oh, he's wild. You're going to be out every night. And Mary was like, he's really not. He comes home and goes.
That's about it, you know. That's the misconception. Yeah. And finally, is Buffy more confident than Rob?
Absolutely. 100%. She's just bursting with confidence, isn't she? Bursting, yeah. Energy, outrageousness, wildness. She's mad. I love that. Yeah. That you can put the costume on and just be somebody else completely. And we all need a laugh now more than ever. It's so important.
What is the one panto cliche that you'd happily ban forever?
TikTok mentions. But the six, seven thing, I still don't know what the six, seven thing is. Do you?
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