Why Men Seek Male Approval

In this special listener-requested episode of Clear Minds In Color, mental-health coach Robert Saint Michael explores the psychology behind homosociality — the way men form identity and belonging through the approval of other men — and how this behavior shapes emotional connection, power, and intimacy. Originally inspired by a viral clip from beauty influencer Shamsi Rashid (@shamsiiito), this conversation takes a deeper look at how social dominance theory, gender roles, and cultural conditioning influence the way men navigate vulnerability and validation.We unpack what these theories get right — and what they miss — about modern masculinity.From the “protector” role in heterosexual relationships to the myth that male closeness threatens sexuality, this episode challenges stereotypes and explores how healthy brotherhood can be a space for care, empathy, and identity-building.Key themes:The difference between homosociality and homosexualityHow social dominance theory shapes belonging and approvalThe emotional cost of the “protector” role in relationshipsGender role conflict and the struggle to be seenNew research showing men are building vulnerability into masculinityHosted by: Robert Saint MichaelPresented by: Clear Minds In Color — evidence-based strategies for emotional wellness and modern mental health.Learn more: clearmindsincolor.comReferenced in This EpisodeShamsi Rashid — Instagram: @shamsiiitoEve Kosofsky Sedgwick (1985) – Between Men: English Literature and Male Homosocial DesireGayle Rubin (1975) – The Traffic in Women: Notes on the Political Economy of SexSidanius & Pratto (1999) – Social Dominance: An Intergroup Theory of Social Hierarchy and OppressionMichael Flood (2008) – Men, Sex, and Homosociality: How Bonds Between Men Shape Their Sexual Relations with WomenJeff Hearn (2012) – Men, Masculinities and Gender RelationsMahalik, Burns, & Syzdek (2007) – Masculinity and Perceived Normative Health Behaviors in MenFrederick, Fessler, & Haselton (2016) – Do Men Suppress Vulnerability in Romantic Relationships?O’Neil, Good, & Holmes (1995) – Gender Role Conflict TheorySimon & Nath (2004) – Gender and Emotion in the United StatesLevant, Wimer, & Williams (2011) – Masculinity Constructs and Relationship Quality in MenEric Anderson (2009) – Inclusive Masculinity: The Changing Nature of Masculinitiesbell hooks (2004) – The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and LoveRaewyn Connell (2015) – Masculinities (2nd Ed.)Simon Baron-Cohen (2011) – The Science of Evil: On Empathy and the Origins of CrueltyChristopher Boehm (1999) – Hierarchy in the Forest: The Evolution of Egalitarian Behavior

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