John Tothill Forgives Your Sins
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What is the antidote to self-improvement according to John Tothill?
to John Tothill Forgives Your Sins. This is the show where I, John Tothill, eschew the nauseating barrage of self-improvement in favor of your worst impulses and transgressions. And I'm here tonight to take your confession. Think of me as your high priest. And while not a real priest, I am really high. Where would a priest be without his parish? Look at you all. Thank God you're here. I asked my producer, Sasha, to round up the most impure, immoral, feckless, virile, shameless, disgusting little freak she could find, and my God, she's done a good job, hasn't she? We all have those regrets, whether it's an awkward faux pas at your girlfriend's work Christmas party, or drunkenly insisting you can do a backflip straight into the chocolate fountain at your girlfriend's work Christmas party.
How does shame affect our lives and decisions?
But lifestyle gurus are constantly teaching us how to optimize our lives. Influencer Molly May once said, we all have the same 24 hours in a day. I say, not if I lose six of them drunk on sherry in my local Waitrose, waiting for them to put little yellow stickers on the fish cakes. Now, today's theme is the workplace. Now, the world is full of people trying to teach us life hacks for the workplace. I'm tired of Stephen Bartlett with his diary of a CEO. Sorry, that's the last diary I want to read. My favourite diaries in order are Bridget Jones, Samuel Pepys, everyone else on Earth, and then Stephen Bartlett. OK, workplace, what do we do for a living? What's your name?
Lucy.
Lucy. What do you do for a job?
Design festival.
Design festival. Now, what that is, is two abstract nouns... ..that you've so interestingly sewn together. Design festival. Say more.
You don't have to. Work in partnerships.
What confessions does John Tothill invite from the audience?
So, sales.
I blacked out. Don't take this the wrong way. You know when someone starts to say sales, and it's like, you know when someone tries to explain the rules of a board game to you, and you go, I can't, I can't do this. Anyway, what's everyone's favourite style of croissant? Three, two, one, almond.
Okay, let's get on with it.
Let's get on with it.
Let's get going with our first mischievous misdemeanor. Now, my genius producer, Sasha, has gathered up all of your confessions before the show. I promise you, I have never heard any of these before, and I can't wait to get through them. So, our first confession comes from Nadia. There you are. OK, amazing. Now, I will say, Nadia, in the final broadcast, in the interest of anonymity, we will blur your face, OK?
LAUGHTER
Nadia, what's your confession from the workplace?
I once caused a man to have the wrong body part treated in A&E.
OK. OK, do you work in A&E, or was this an accident?
What humorous workplace confessions are shared during the episode?
I used to. You used to work in A&E. That story checks out, doesn't it?
Tell us what happened. He was meant to have his lower leg, his shin, examined.
Right, and what actually happened?
Well, I was a student nurse at the time and I wrote down, because I was a bit nervous and a bit dyslexic, and I accidentally wrote down chin. Oh! LAUGHTER
OK, interesting.
And so what happened? Well, we were sort of flitting around as students and I could see the man sat down and the casualty officer was like, open your mouth, can you clench your teeth? Thinking, oh, and he looked a bit eyes up to heaven and he obviously thought he was getting a really good job starting at the headphones. LAUGHTER And then it didn't, the penny didn't drop with me until I saw him limping out.
OK, I'm very sympathetic to you straight away, and for two reasons. First of all, it's totally on him. Do we agree? To be like, I think that's been everything, thank you. He's got to learn to advocate for himself, you know? For God's sake. Second of all, it's hard, isn't it? Because you're a student nurse, you're doing a real job, aren't you? When people like with fake jobs, don't take this the wrong way, but, you know, design... You know, if the design festival goes wrong... ..it's not the end of the world, you know? Because before I did this, as you can see, I don't work anymore. I don't consider this work civic duty, perhaps, but not work.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the antidote to self-improvement according to John Tothill?
0:07–1:01
2
How does shame affect our lives and decisions?
1:01–2:16
3
What confessions does John Tothill invite from the audience?
2:16–3:21
4
What humorous workplace confessions are shared during the episode?
3:21–5:52
5
How does John Tothill critique lifestyle gurus and their advice?
5:52–7:24
6
What are the implications of workplace productivity pressures?
7:24–8:38
7
How does John Tothill use humor to address serious topics?
8:38–10:13
8
What final thoughts does John Tothill leave with the audience?
10:13–28:40