Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
Episodes
Elusive Milkweeds of South Texas
09 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we rant about Asclepias prostrata, the rare and elusive prostrate milkweed of South Texas Thornscrub, as well as obscure subfamilies o...
Psychedelic Therapy and Its Practical Applications for Society
04 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Jahan Khamsehzadeh, Ph.D. is a psychedelic therapist who's been actively conducting legal, guided Psilocybin sessions in Jamaica for the past 4 years....
What the sh*t is mRNA & how‘d it get into my nanoparticles
27 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Intro music by etsywitch.In this episode we discuss the ever-annoying American culture war and then move on to the science behind mRNA vaccine technol...
A Conversation about the Wild Sh1t going on in South African ”Daisies”
08 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Note : Interview starts around minute 24:00Recording quality on first 9 minutes of interview is lousy but improves after there after so sit still and ...
A Conversation With The Naked Botanist
03 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we spend 150 minutes talking with David Gwynne-Evans covering some of the epic highlights of the Cape Floristic Region's Flora. Even i...
A Conversation Having Nothing To Do With Plants
27 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Mike Brodie is a photographer, truck driver, artist, freight train rider, and diesel mechanic. In this episode we sit down with him to talk about mode...
South Africa Follow Up, Rantings, Etc.
08 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we talk about some of the plant families found in South Africa and the ecological success of the Mesembryanthemaceae, as well as what ...
2 hours of South Africa Ranting
26 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
One long disjointed rant between three filthy botanists covering the past three weeks of botanic surveys/rectal exams in the Northern and Western Cape...
Monocot Taxonomic Clusterf*ck
02 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we talk with Chris Pires, Chief Science Officer at the New York Botanic Garden, about the taxonomic clusterf*ck that is the order Aspa...
Deconstructing Taxonomy
18 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Today's episode is inspired by the bRaVE individuals (all of us) who participated in the massive back-and-forth online shitposting last week regarding...
Intro to the Rise of Flowering Plants
31 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we speak with Peter Raven, former director of the Missouri Botanical Garden, about our current understanding of the rise of angiosperm...
Wyoming Rare Plants with Walt Fertig
18 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
A criminally underrated state for rare plants and plant ecology, Wyoming has a number of rare taxa and bizarre habitats. In this episode we talk with ...
Yellowstone Botany & Wyoming Rare Plants
13 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Plants that grow on sinter (silica) and travertine (calcium carbonate) deposits of hot springs, a really bizarre central Wyoming endemic known from ...
Hiking Through The Great Basin w/ Matt Berger
05 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we have an hour long conversation with Matt Berger about a loop "trail" (there actually was no trail save for that created by wild hor...
Buckwheats and Bail Bonds
30 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
This episode begins with a 56 minute rant concerning the crime spree caused by the meeting of the Eriogonum Society in Elko, Nevada, followed by rants...
The Nitty Gritty of DNA sequencing to understand Plant Evolution
22 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we speak with Bruce Baldwin about sequencing the DNA of plants to understand how closely we're distantly related they are and how they...
20 Minutes of Rambling and 60 Minutes of Melastomataceae
11 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we speak with Darin Penneys, Ph.D about his work with an incredibly diverse plant family that few in the temperate zones are familiar ...
Arrests at the Buckwheat Conference, Chicago West Side Heroin Dissuasion, Lithium Sleazebag Deli Platters
01 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode of Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't we talk with Naomi Fraga about the devastation to be imposed on 90% of a rare plant's population and ...
Milkweeds that Dupe Insects, Greenhouse Conservation, Customer Service Hell
20 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we talk about milkweed plants that dupe kleptoparasitic flies into pollinating them, greenhouses and conservatories as bastions of ex-...
The Evolution & Ecology of Psilocybin
05 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we speak with Dr. Jason Slot, Associate Professor at Ohio State University, who is a mycologist currently studying the evolution of ps...
Back Inna Bay,Volcanic Carrots of Oregon, A conversation with Damon Tighe
22 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Psilocybin Therapy, Woody tells us about Apiaceous endemics of the high desert, Damon Tighe tells us about observing fungi and insects and sexually tr...
Baker Cypress, Research Natural Areas, & A Conversation with Julie Kierstead
09 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we ramble about a rare Northern California Cypress species known only from twelve populations and figure out just what the hell that s...
Two Hours with Peter Raven
28 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
A 2 hour conversation with one of the most prominent botanists of the 20th Century, Peter Raven, in anticipation of his new autobiography, Driven By N...
Hidden Agave - A Conversation with Jeremy Spath
21 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Jeremy Spath has spent the past twenty years growing - and propagating from tissue culture - species in the genus Agave. He's traveled throughout Mexi...
West Texas Cacti, Desert Brassicas, AL Scorch, Pollinator Apocalypse
19 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Two hours of rambling conversations about Desert Brassicas, West Texas Cryptic Cacti, Dust Storms, Pollinator Poisoning via Agriculture, Al Scorch per...
Texas Blackout, Cloud Forest Blueberries, Tropical Mistletoes
25 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Rants about hating Ted Cruz, Pine Forests of Hispaniola, Watching Plants Melt during the Texas Blackouts, etc
Baby I Wanna Be Your Karstic Dog
09 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Recorded in the Dominican Republic while exploring Dogtooth Limestone Karst formations and contracting urushiol-induced atopic dermatitis, here we ran...
Mycorrhizae, Ericoid Roots, Orchids, Meathead Psychology, etc
25 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Listen to 80 minute rant on Ericoid roots and fungal symbiosis with a guest appearance by Peter Bernhardt. We also briefly talk about the germination ...
PLANT SYSTEMATICS with Michael Simpson
20 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Michael Simpson is a Professor Emeritus of Botany who is the Author of one of the best textbooks available on the evolutionary history, grouping and I...
Geologist Robert Madden
14 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Dr. Robert Madden is a geologist and teacher based out of Perth, Western Australia.
Evolution, Speciation and Child Labor
11 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Rants on the wonders of plant evolution, ecotypes, speciation, and whether an awareness and fascination with such could have prevented some members of...
Talking Railroads & Mexico with Linda Niemann
22 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Linda Niemann is an author, ex-railroader/brakeman and former English professor at Kennesaw State University. She is the author of the books Boomer, R...
Blazing East to South Texas
19 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Rants on Cactus Phylogeny, Teddy Bear Cholla, Neobuxbaumia Dungeons of Oaxaca, transporting plants in storage bins, over-crowded hiking/wilderness are...
Interview w/climatologist Daniel Swain
10 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A fascinating and educational 68 minutes that breaks down the mechanisms of California's weather and where it might be headed in the future.
California Dystopia, Butano Cypress, Seed-Collection, Edibles & Trash Tvetc
08 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Rants about California Dystopia, Proper Seed Collection, Drought, Butano Cypress (biogeography rant), etc
Underground Orchids, Australian Botany, Proteaceae Floral Morphology
26 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A conversation with my friend the Professor and Author Dr. Peter Bernhardt about the floral morphology of many of Australia's incredible terrestrial o...
Texas Flora - A Conversation w/Michael Eason
22 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A 2 hour conversation with Michael Eason about Texas Flora. Michael Eason is a botanist, author, photographer, and Texan.
Rhyolite, Fuckface!
16 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
From West Texas to the Mojave the entire Southwest is in a drought in mid November of 2020 oh, but that does not stop us from doing some vegetative bo...
South Texas Soliloquy, Cactus Rescue, Tough Broads, etc
30 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Long disjointed rants on native plants of South Texas, plant propagation, rescuing cacti that are in the path of the proposed border wall, ppeyote g...
160 minutes of Sunflowers w/ Bruce Baldwin
22 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
(Re-upload because the first file was corrupted and cut out at 3 min...) Probably the episode I'm most excited about so far - a talk with the kind, h...
An Interview with Tom Givnish
14 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
2 hrs of conversation about Adaptive Radiation, Hawaiian Lobeliads, & Calochortus Evolution
East Texas Sandy Coastal Plain & Ft Worth Dry Prairies
13 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
East Texas botany, Ft Worth Botanic Garden /Home Depot Garden Center, Longleaf Pine Forest, Rio Grande Valley Border Patrol Sleaze, Limestone Dry Prai...
Michigan Upper Peninsula Geology, Missouri Prairie, Texas Limestone Remnants
29 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
PSA - your donations enable this here content. If you can throw a couple bucks to venmo address "societyishell", I would appreciate the hell out of it...
I-80 Cross Country Botany, Maskless Rednecks, Ambrosia Exploration
04 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A brief week-long trip East after fleeing the state of California (which is all on fire again) brings us into contact with a cast of prairie species a...
Illegal Garden Meets a Karen, Random Rants, Monarch Migration, etc
20 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Botanist Michael Dillon & South American Nightshades
02 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A 90 min conversation with retired Field Museum botanist Michael Dillon about the genus Nolana and South American botany.
A ConversationAbout Mycology with Christian Schwarz
30 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A forty minute profanity-laced trade on the flux of events and garden destruction by semi-conscious contractors followed by a graceful interview conce...
Darlingtonia, Flu Klux Klan, Illegal Gardening
18 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
The focus today is on Darlingtonia, trolling the Flu Klux Klan, Social Justice Warriors attacking science by obsessing about racist Eugenics programs ...
Coral Pink Sand Dunes Milkweed, Southern Utah Botany, Vertic Limestones, Shitting in Kyle's Firepit
23 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
(the intro song recording quality is horrible. Skip to 2:30 rather than leave me an obnoxious comment about it Fuckface). Coral Pink Sand Dunes Milkw...
Phantom Orchids & Sneaking to the Botanic Garden
12 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Rants about Cephalanthera austiniae, the phantom orchid, and disjunct populations of Opuntia fragilis. Sneaking in to the Botanic garden after hours. ...
Propagation as a Means of Refraining From Homicide
17 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
90 minutes of ranting on plant propagation, metabolism, and Chiranthodendron pentadactylon from the chocolate subfamily of the Mallow Family.
A Conversation with Matt Candeais
01 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Matt Candeais is a botanist from Buffalo, New York, currently residing in Illinois and working on his PhD. He is the man behind the In Defense of Plan...
"I Was a Teenage Eco-Fascist"
17 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A thirty minute rant mocking the "eco-fascist" chant among science-blind social theorists and leftwing bloggers (why do fellow lefties not criticize t...
Pandemic Southwest Botany
01 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Join us as we take a look at some limestone endemics of Death Valley and then Gypsum endemics of Nevada and Utah. Learn why the state of Arizona is ak...
A Conversation with Matt Ritter
11 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A real nice conversation with Matt Ritter, an author and professor at California Polytechnic State University about botany, plant ecology, human socie...
Coronavirus & Sunflowers
07 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
An astute comparison of adaptative radiations in Asteraceae with the novel coronavirus COVID-19. Plus, Carl Zimmer kicks Mike Pence in the cock. 90 mi...
Coronavirus & Sunflowers
07 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
An astute comparison of adaptative radiations in Asteraceae with the novel coronavirus COVID-19. Plus, Carl Zimmer kicks Mike Pence in the cock. 90 mi...
Parasitic conifers & Amborella(New Caledonia 2)
13 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
This is the second episode on New Caledonian botany, with continued fanatic ranting on the wonders of ultramafic geology and botany as well as musings...
New Caledonia, Disjointed Ranting, Conifer Dungeons, Biogeography of Southern Hemisphere Lineages, Mosquitoes
02 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Did I contract Dengue Fever yesterday on Moo Mountain whilst hiking to a relict population of Araucaria humboldtensis? Was New Caledonia submerged for...
Plant Breeding, Fern Sex, Dark Humor, South Africa, A Conversation with Martin Grantham
02 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A conversation with a botanical wizard, explorer, conservationist, and plant propagator, my friend the illustrious Martin Grantham. 3 hrs long but wor...
Chilean Fog Deserts, Biogeographical Islands, Nolana Diversity, Candy Diets
25 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
2 hours of pontificating on the beauty of fog deserts plus pondering how the fuck Sheriff Woody is able to hike 1,000 miles on a diet of candy and pot...
Botanizing Deserts on Foot with Sheriff Woody
30 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
A conversation with an expert plant explorer in a fleabag hotel room in Arica, Chile.
Mushrooms Mushrooms Mushrooms
22 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
A 20 minute disjointed and profane rant followed by a 90 minute conversation with mycologist Alan Rockefeller. Oooooh how bout Dat.
Short Run/Podcast in a Can
15 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
I fucked this episode up by using the wrong mic setting, so it sounds like I recorded it in the public shower stall in the Honk Kong Airport bathroom....
Biogeography & Death of a Milkweed
03 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Assorted ramblings on biogeography, a work ethic for Anthropocene, Irreverence for modern society, Biophilia, "Woke" Leftism vs Sociopathic right-ism,...
Southwest Australian Flora cameo by Foot Rot.m4a
17 Oct 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Rants about why it's OK to cry, Foot Rot, Plants that smell like hell and the combination of Continental annexation to Antarctica and extremely nutrie...
Climate Deniers, Rio Grande Milkweeds and Cartel Biospheres
02 Oct 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Rants on Climate Deniers, Obsolete Racist Grandfathers, El Cielo Biosphere Reserve, Foxtail Pines, the Hong Kong Airport and many more. 2.5 hours wort...
Gypsophiles, Rare Sumacs, Societal Jabs, Arguing with morons, etc
10 Sep 2019
Contributed by Lukas
A long episode dedicated to rare Sumacs of West Texas, brutal heat, gypsophiles, refugial canyons in obscure mountain ranges, the phenomenon of arguin...
Rock Daisies, Peyote, Sky Islands and Taqueria Palenque
25 Aug 2019
Contributed by Lukas
A gentle, sweaty meander through the Southwest in August, ending in a bath in the salsa bar at Taqueria Palenque in Beautiful Mission, Texas.
Southside Chicago & Sonora, Mexico
07 Aug 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Kankakee Mallow, Chiggers, Southside Prairies and Railroad Botany... At minute 45:00 starts a long diatribe on Sonoran Sky Islands (recorded in-situ i...
Extinct Redwood Forests and Sensitivity Training for Rude Geologists
19 Jul 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Geologists laughing at Earthquakes, Coyotes as Redneck Antidotes, Extinct Redwood Forests of Nevada and Oregon, Tony flowers in volcanos, Heat Stroke,...
Redwood Lilies & Midwest Botany
30 Jun 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Long rants about redwood lilies, a dip into Northern California geology as cross-dissected by Interstate 5, pontificating on lunatics of the left and ...
More Milkweed Dungeons in Nevada and Utah
20 Jun 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Milkweed Morphology and an exploration of the passive-aggressive liberal "white voice"
One Long Disjointed Rant b/w Milkweeds and Sclerocactus
03 Jun 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Convergent Evolution, Carnivory, and the Milkweed from Serpentine Barrens
28 May 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Real nice and quick banger Intro to Carnivory and the Piney Woods of the North Carolina Acidic Coastal Plain, plus a cameo by the mysterious and elusi...
Death Valley Limestone, Invasive Species, Herbal Enemas
17 May 2019
Contributed by Lukas
A trip to Death Valley Limestone , an herbal poultice for invasive species long-winded rambling and the longest attempt to exit the podcast so far...
Assaulted by Stinkbells and Obsessed with Monkey Flowers
19 Apr 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Stinkbells Lilies, Fritillaria agrestis, the Futility of Life in Modern Civ, Calico Monkeyflowers, etc
Rare Manzanitas & The Best Taqueria in the Salinas Valley
03 Apr 2019
Contributed by Lukas
A trip to Pinnacles National Park, confused European tourists, the hemorrhoid of differentiating between two morphologically-identical genera of annua...
"Superblooms" are relicts & understanding Invasive Species
29 Mar 2019
Contributed by Lukas
But for real - how could you not like The Spinners?
Mojave Snow, Laterites, Salvia funerea
25 Feb 2019
Contributed by Lukas
A week long jaunt into the Mojave during a freakish weather event and a list of the floristic characters encountered b/w moderated profanity and the j...
Neonicotinoids, Molecular Phylogeny, Relict Populations
14 Feb 2019
Contributed by Lukas
This episode contains rants about the anomaly of working-class republican-ism, molecular phylogenetics, a new population of Funeral Sage, and a relict...
Kick Me Inna Asteraceae
10 Feb 2019
Contributed by Lukas
A Very Brief, Low-Brow Approach to the Sunflower Family with frequent cameos by an inopportune Yukele, with frequent digressions into Palo-Endemics, R...