When Words Hurt: How Inner Critics and Tone Trigger Disconnection

In this episode of Dear Dr. Tracy, clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish explores why partners often feel like they “say the wrong thing” or come across as too critical. Drawing on a listener’s story, she highlights how inner criticism, rejection sensitivity, and Enneagram One tendencies can fuel negative interaction cycles. Dr. Tracy offers practical strategies—such as pausing before speaking, softening startups, naming the cycle, and practicing the Most Generous Interpretation—to help couples move from disconnection to repair. Emphasizing self-awareness, empathy, and emotional safety, she shows how couples can shift out of criticism and defensiveness into healthier communication, deeper connection, and stronger relationships. This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACY and get on your way to being your best self. RESOURCES: Preorder my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠     Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠ LINKS: Better Help: Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACY K12 Powered Schools: Learn more at k12.com/TRACY Quince Bedding: Free Shipping at quince.com/TRACY Branch Basics:⁠ Use code TRACY15 to save 15% off your Premium Starter Kit ⁠Vionic Shoes⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.comMint Mobile: Just $15 a month with mintmobile.com/TRACY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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