Why Feeling "Chemistry" Is Actually a Red Flag | Kirby Fling

Follow Kirby!💜 Instagram💜 YouTube💜 Website Why do so many of us repeat the same painful relationship patterns... no matter how hard we try to change?In this episode of Desirable, Attachment Styles Expert Kirby Fling breaks down the science of attachment, the role of trauma in shaping memory, and practical tools for rewiring our patterns in love, parenting, and even the workplace. With an engineer’s mindset and years of study, he reveals how early childhood wounds echo through our adult lives and how to finally break free!You’ll learn:✅ Why attachment is more than four rigid labels and how anxious and avoidant behaviors overlap✅ The five pillars of secure attachment every child, partner, and employee needs✅ How trauma erases memory and hardwires autopilot stress responses✅ Why repair after conflict matters more than avoiding conflict altogether✅ Practical tools like the “Ideal Parent Figure Protocol” for rewiring insecure attachment✅ Why self-work, humility, and autonomy are the foundation of healthy love✅ How to use dating as a vetting process, not a validation loopKirby’s approach is a roadmap to healing yourself, parenting consciously, and building relationships that last.Chapters:00:00 Introduction: Understanding Love and Relationships00:38 Steps to Self-Discovery in Relationships01:10 The Role of Validation and Transactional Relationships02:14 The Importance of Early Dating Dynamics05:13 Attachment Styles and Their Impact26:52 The Five Pillars of Attachment42:53 Building Emotional Resilience43:45 Ideal Parent Figure Protocol (IPF)44:37 Rewiring the Nervous System46:11 Creating New Emotional Memories47:27 The Power of Secure Attachment56:01 The Role of Emotions in Learning01:00:14 The Importance of Social Status01:04:36 Emotional Expression and Cultural Norms01:10:27 Navigating Emotional Vulnerability in Relationships01:17:18 Interactive Segment: Relationship Advice01:25:23 Final Thoughts on Self-RelationshipConnect with Us: 💜 Sign up for Sonya Love's Dare To Love coaching program

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