Chapter 1: What is the main topic of this episode?
It's now time for your weekly detox with Tom Schwartz.
Chapter 2: Why do we love gossiping?
Guys, we're going to gossip today. Yeah, with the amazing Kiki Monique, XOXO Gossip Guy. Also, why do we humans love gossiping so much? Dishing the dirt, like from an anthropological standpoint, from an evolutionary standpoint. Why does it feel good to talk a little shit? And I know what you guys are thinking right now, okay? Schwartz, really? Don't be a poser. Mr. C, both sides of the story.
Switzerland Schwartz. But like, I like hearing about tea too. I dig pop culture, topical stuff. I'm a closet shit talker, but you know, it's usually done with purpose, constructive criticism. What's Zach say? Oh yeah, petty with purpose? Maybe I'm petty with purpose. Okay, I know I'm not a gossip queen. You guys know this. Maybe I'm a gossip peasant. Let me be your gossip peasant.
Chapter 3: What happened at World Dog Day?
It hurts my feelings when you guys are like, it's not fun to talk shit with Schwartz. But I do. Okay, I enjoy it. By the way, how are you guys? Gang gang. I'm checking in. Harmony check. Vibe check. It's Friday right now. I know it's Tuesday for you. But TGIF for me. Thank you for everyone who came out last Saturday to TomTom. World Dog Day. I got to chill with the cast from Vanderpump Villa.
Hosted them for brunch. Everybody was so cool. Vibes immaculate. Love to see them, you know, just doing their thing. Riding their first...
taste of fame wave uh it's fun everything's new and exciting and shiny not to sound jaded because it's still i still got my rose colored lenses on but yeah man they were also filming the new vanderpump rules and if you guys don't know world dog day um it takes place every year and they they it's it's right behind tom tom in the west hollywood park
This year was a great success, but it was weird because they were filming the new Vanderpump Rules, and there's cameras everywhere, and I'm like, wait, don't you guys want to film me? Don't you guys want to point the cameras at me? No, I'm kidding, but it is weird because this has been such a big part of my life.
It's not like an ego thing, but it was weird seeing them film, and I'm like, wait, you guys don't want to know what's going on in my life? But anyways, back to what we're doing today. I'm going to go to West Hollywood. I'm going to meet up with Kiki. We're going to have some drinks at Tom Tom. And yeah, we're going to maybe talk a little shit. She's a pop culture guru and a friend.
And I'm super excited to sit down with her. I promise you guys, we're not going to do too deep of a dive into the psychology behind why we like to gossip. We're not going to dissect it and kill it, kill the romance, kill it in the process. But, you know, maybe just like a little refresher course. on why humans enjoy serving up the tea, you know? By the end of this episode, I have some goals.
I hope to be pleasantly buzzed in the back garden side of TomTom with Kiki, and maybe I'll have at least one hot, okay, lukewarm take. I'm gonna have fun think you guys are gonna dig it so stay tuned but first a little refresher course why do we humans like gossiping yeah so why does it feel damn good to gossip and it does it's fun it gets a bad rap though
You know, generally speaking, it has a negative connotation, but let's face it, it's deeply rooted in who we are as humans. It's deeply rooted in our psychology. We're social animals. But why, you guys, why on the toilet this morning did I find out exactly why Kris Jenner looks so good? And she does. The special type of plastic surgery, I forgot what it's called.
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Chapter 4: How does gossip serve as social glue?
But yeah, why do I know that Selena Gomez subtly supported Hailey Bieber by hearting one of her Instagram posts in her Vogue article? Why did I click that? I don't know. Why do I know that P Diddy likes fucking applesauce on his hamburgers? It's sick. That's really fucking gross, by the way. But why? Why? All right, let's get into the psychology of the physiology a little bit.
Just quickly here, guys. All right. Why do we evolve the gossip? Okay, social glue. In early human groups, gossip helped us keep tabs on who was shady, who you could trust, who you couldn't, who was cheating, who was maybe eating more than their fair share, who wasn't pulling their weight around the campfire. It was a survival tool.
Instead of having to witness or experience someone being a monster... Are causing harm to you. Gossip let us learn from others experiences. Without risking harm ourselves. So it was like a. Like a little safety shortcut. Yeah. Okay so. So modern times. You hear someone say. Yeah my ex. Narcissistic asshole. Who farts in their sleep. They hate Bravo TV. And they think. Dogs are overrated.
That's not shit-talking, okay? That is doing a public service. You're looking out for your fellow humans, right? Okay, I get it. So it's like tribal maintenance. We evolved in these small, tight-knit little groups, and gossiping was a little way to enforce social norms without violence. If you were a monster, a liability to the tribe, people talked about it and they acted on it.
Chapter 5: What are the psychological effects of gossip?
You were either shamed or banished or... You know, tarred and feathered, whatever. Also, again, it feels good. It does. You guys, when someone, you know, tells you a deep secret, it really does deepen your connections with them. And you're releasing the cuddle hormone, oxytocin. You guys know that one? The cuddle hormone? your dopamine spikes, especially if it's super spicy, juicy.
Shout out to Juicy Scoop, Heather McDonald. Yeah, it lights up our brain's reward circuitry. You know when someone, okay, guys, you know when someone's like, hey, can we meet up? I need to tell you something crazy. Your brain probably looks like the freaking 4th of July. You know what I mean? Dopamine off the charts. Cortisol way below usual. You're at peace. You're excited. You're chilling.
So yeah, in short, we're not talking shit. We're spreading the news. We're bonding. We're looking out for one another. Yeah. I mean, some people are just talking shit. Maybe I'm full of shit here. But let's gossip. It's not just petty. It's primal. How about that? Yeah, I like that. It's not just petty. It's primal. I dig that. My new motto. But yeah, let's lose it wisely, okay?
Let's not be toxic. Let's punch up and form one another, but let's not be a-holes, okay? All right, I'm going to shut up. I'm going to pack up my stuff, go meet up with Kiki. You guys want to come? Yeah? All right. All right. I'll pick up and we ho. Tom Tom. See you guys in a second.
Cheers. I'm here.
Kiki, where are we and what are we doing?
We're at TomTom, the infamous TomTom. It is the beginning of Memorial Weekend. I think it's kicking off Pride Week, too, or Pride Weekend or Pride Month is about to happen. So I feel very Vanderpump-y because that was always the kickoff to your show. Exactly.
After World Dog Day, which was last Saturday. Okay. I talked about it earlier in the intro. I got to chill with the Vanderpump Villa cast.
Oh, really?
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Chapter 6: How is gossip viewed in Hollywood?
Oh, at least five times. At least five times. Have you ever said something about someone such as myself or someone in the Bravoverse or any reality TV show, a hot take, where they DM'd you and they're like, that really hurt my feelings, you hurt my soul?
Only a couple times. One time, Julia from Ladies of London, who I think is coming back onto Real Housewives of London, she got mad at me because I didn't like her take on Meghan Markle and she wanted me to take it down and I just did it and then she blocked me.
I appreciate that you didn't take it down. You didn't back down. No. See, I'm soft. I would have taken it down immediately. I'm so sorry for hurting your feelings, but I'm like, people don't realize that I do love sip. I like sipping and serving the tea. I do love me some pop culture. I like gossiping. Is it Kiki? Is it okay to gossip?
Yes. I think it's like normal. I think it's healthy. I think that everyone does it. And like, If you don't do it I think I don't know I feel like it's like it's a healthy human thing to do.
Totally. I mean from an evolutionary standpoint it's it's made us who we are today. It's deeply rooted in our psychology. Right. It's a bonding experience. Yeah. It's looking out for one another.
And I think also on top of it in Hollywood in L.A. you know. People want you to talk about them. A lot of times their publicists will reach out to make sure you're talking about them.
I don't want that.
Because you're not relevant if people aren't talking about you anymore. And at the end of the day, you want to make a paycheck. And the only way you can make a paycheck is still being relevant.
Kiki, everybody's going to say something. I'd be worried if they said nothing.
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Chapter 7: What are the latest updates on the Diddy trial?
I mean, you know what? And actually hearing it, that's like the most humane thing about him. I'm like, maybe I'll try applesauce on a cheeseburger.
Exactly, you're right. Sweet and savory. There's been some abominations, truly heinous accusations, and people are testifying. So you watched Kid Cudi's testimony?
I basically read the transcripts. I go to inner city press for everything. And I just like kind of read through the transcripts. And like, even that is crazy because it was almost like, yeah, this dude blew up my car. Molotov cocktail? Like ripped the top of the car in and yeah, threw a Molotov cocktail in, burnt up the car.
That is some mobster shit. And then Kid Cudi, I don't know if you saw before, when he showed up to the courtroom to testify, he had a leather jacket on and he was dragging a cigarette He looked iconic. You see somebody show up in a black leather jacket and a cigarette. And jeans. They're ready for some no-nonsense bullshit.
And not a wife beater, but a white tee.
Yes, exactly. Oh, yeah, yeah. We can't say that anymore. No, but he looked like he was ready to spill the tea. Yeah. You guys, we got car alarms. We'll just keep talking. But no, to me, he might be the new Marlboro Man.
I mean, it was very much like walking into that courtroom, I'm going to do my thing, say what I need to say, and then I'm out.
He was my spirit animal right before I went into the season 10 Vanderpump Rules reunion. I think symbolically I was rocking a black leather jacket, dragging a cigarette, just like, ugh. He could have gotten that jacket sponsored and it would have been sold out. I mean, it was iconic. Is it okay for me to say it was iconic?
No, I mean, I think people feel that same way. It's hard because it's such a heavy trial. So it's like hard to have these light moments where Johnny Depp, you know, you can kind of have these light moments where it's like this one, you're like, oh.
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Chapter 8: What do we think about celebrity relationships?
It is, but that's just the thing about Hollywood. You could be taking a picture with someone one day, You don't know that they're a creep like a few years later and then all of a sudden they're on trial and the next thing you know, oh Kiki was at this party. She was at Tom Tom. Longing on so and so.
Kiki knows how to freak off. I know. No, it's very heavy, but it's fun to like just to make not to make light of it. But, you know, it's OK to laugh a little.
Well, yeah. I mean, like this is what you know, we want to follow these things. It's no different than we were following. The OJ trial was a big thing. Like all of these things make, you know, good gossip.
Why are we so fascinated as a society with these things? I was talking about it earlier. It was like I was reading about. Well, Kris Jenner looks amazing. I was reading about her facelift. Oh my God. She looks insane. She looks like Kim. She looks like an amalgam of all of her daughters. Yeah. In the best possible way. It was great work. I wrote it down. Apparently it's like a deep plane facelift.
So it lifts like under your muscle instead of just the skin. Amazing. So it's like deep. So you don't lose your elasticity. Oh. You know what I mean? And it doesn't anyway.
Probably like a hundred thousand dollar facelift.
Do you want to get one after this? I mean, not right now, but eventually one day. By the way, Kiki's glowing right now. You look dewy and fabulous. And I just, yeah, I don't know why I find myself going clicking these articles. I can't help it.
Well, speaking of older women, I'm curious because like, well, I'm just saying you brought up Kris Jenner. I mean, is she sort of like, if you were to pick older women, is she your type? Yeah.
I mean, I'm notorious for being secretly in love with Lisa Vanderpump, of course. My queen. But I mean, yeah, I've never dated an older, older woman. Well, I've been in a relationship for the past 14 years.
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