Digital Social Hour
Why Your Dating App Strategy is FAILING You | Sabrina Zohar DSH #948
Wed, 04 Dec 2024
Struggling with dating apps? 🤔 Your strategy might be missing the mark, but not for the reasons you think. Join relationship expert Sabrina Zohar as she breaks down why most dating advice fails and what psychology really tells us about finding connection. Discover why generic dating rules don't work, how attachment styles impact your relationships, and the truth about "red flags" that nobody's talking about. Learn why ghosting actually reveals more about the ghoster than the ghosted, and get practical tips for authentic dating in the digital age. From navigating dating apps to building genuine connections, Sabrina shares her journey from New York to LA, revealing how therapy and self-discovery transformed her approach to relationships. Whether you're frustrated with dating apps or trying to build deeper connections, this conversation offers fresh perspectives on modern dating. Get ready for real talk about relationships, healing, and why most dating advice misses the mark. Plus, hear Sabrina's wild Shark Tank story and how it led her to completely pivot her career! Perfect for anyone ready to ditch the games and build authentic connections. 💕 Join host Sean Kelly for this eye-opening conversation about modern dating, psychology, and finding real connection in a world of swipes and likes. Hit subscribe for more candid conversations about life, business, and relationships! 🎯 #selfimprovement #moderndating #mentalhealth #relationshipadvice #datingadvice CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Intro 00:26 - Sabrina’s Journey 03:17 - First Date Expectations 04:43 - Social Media Comparison 04:58 - BetterHelp Overview 07:13 - Reasons for Ghosting 09:08 - Staying in Toxic Relationships 13:34 - Understanding Attachment Styles 17:05 - Misuse of "Narcissist" 18:30 - Facebook Groups for Dating 22:15 - Friendship with Exes 23:45 - Discussing Body Count 25:31 - Red Pill Podcast Experience 27:42 - Exploring Open Relationships 29:33 - OnlyFans Discussion 32:34 - Shark Tank Experience 36:18 - Returning to Shark Tank 36:45 - Launching a Clothing Brand 38:09 - Finding Sabrina Online 38:14 - Final Thoughts APPLY TO BE ON THE PODCAST: https://www.digitalsocialhour.com/application BUSINESS INQUIRIES/SPONSORS: [email protected] GUEST: Sabrina Zohar https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar/ https://www.sabrinazohar.com/ SPONSORS: BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/DSH LISTEN ON: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/digital-social-hour/id1676846015 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5Jn7LXarRlI8Hc0GtTn759 Sean Kelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seanmikekelly/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is Sabrina's journey into relationship advice?
All right, guys, from San Diego, we got Sabrina here. Thanks for coming on.
Thanks for having me, Sean.
Chapter 2: Why do generic dating rules fail?
Fellow podcast host.
Hell yeah, dude, I'm stoked.
Absolutely. And your show's about dating, right? Relationships?
Dating, relationships, and ultimately doing the work to heal.
Chapter 3: What are the reasons behind ghosting?
So you went through your own journey and wanted to teach others, basically?
Yeah, it was one of those that maybe you can relate, maybe you can't, that I never thought it was going to happen. I just was going through it and seeing all this content and adjusting all this stuff, just saying like, hey, this just doesn't resonate. I don't understand what you guys are saying. Why are you keep using these like same, you know, 140 characters or less type like taglines?
And as I started going on my journey, going to therapy, understanding, wait a minute, all the things that you're telling me to do are not yielding the results in a relationship. So when I started to change that dynamic and then started to realize my relationships were changing and my experiences, that's when I realized like, hey, I think I need to share this because there feels like a disconnect.
Right. Yeah. Because a lot of people try to give relationship advice.
So many people try to get, it's like having an asshole. Everyone seems to have one and everyone seems to know. And it's like, it's frustrating because I think a lot of the advice that we see isn't actually rooted in psychology. So it's a lot of like, why do all men do this? And you're like, well, there's 9 billion people.
So to speak for every single person in a sweeping generalization just seems irresponsible. So I like to cut through that noise and ultimately bring it back to like what's happening with you, not really focusing on like, why do these people keep doing this to you?
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Chapter 4: How do attachment styles affect relationships?
Chapter 5: What role does social media play in dating?
Hell yeah, dude, I'm stoked.
Absolutely. And your show's about dating, right? Relationships?
Dating, relationships, and ultimately doing the work to heal.
So you went through your own journey and wanted to teach others, basically?
Yeah, it was one of those that maybe you can relate, maybe you can't, that I never thought it was going to happen. I just was going through it and seeing all this content and adjusting all this stuff, just saying like, hey, this just doesn't resonate. I don't understand what you guys are saying. Why are you keep using these like same, you know, 140 characters or less type like taglines?
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Chapter 6: Why are some people stuck in toxic relationships?
And as I started going on my journey, going to therapy, understanding, wait a minute, all the things that you're telling me to do are not yielding the results in a relationship. So when I started to change that dynamic and then started to realize my relationships were changing and my experiences, that's when I realized like, hey, I think I need to share this because there feels like a disconnect.
Right. Yeah. Because a lot of people try to give relationship advice.
So many people try to get, it's like having an asshole. Everyone seems to have one and everyone seems to know. And it's like, it's frustrating because I think a lot of the advice that we see isn't actually rooted in psychology. So it's a lot of like, why do all men do this? And you're like, well, there's 9 billion people.
So to speak for every single person in a sweeping generalization just seems irresponsible. So I like to cut through that noise and ultimately bring it back to like what's happening with you, not really focusing on like, why do these people keep doing this to you?
There is a lot of broad statements on social media.
There's a lot. We love the if you wanted to, he would. If you like, if they like you, you'll know. If not, you'll be confused. And it's like, OK, do those have a place? Yeah. Maybe if the guy doesn't call you, well, he doesn't want to call you. You're like, OK, well, there's that. But when we start to utilize those of like, oh, this person didn't want a relationship.
Well, if you wanted to, he would. It's like.
Yeah.
We're using quite a broad statement to examine and understand somebody who may have like severe trauma, triggers, is dealing with a lot of things personally. Maybe this isn't a priority. Maybe we don't know how you've been coming off as well. And I think what it does is it mitigates accountability.
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Chapter 7: How can you navigate open relationships?
Does this person have the bandwidth for a relationship? Do they have intentions for one? Because when my partner and I did that on the first date, I left saying, well, if I never see him again, that's OK. I'm a woman. I had needs. I just want to have fun. But I made it clear to him, if you're going to pursue this, I'm not doing the casual thing. Like we had that fun and he was fine with that.
And so I think it's also about how you show up as a person. But I've been talking to a lot of people and a good portion of people have said, oh, yeah, we slept together early and got out of the way. But I also have so much respect for people like you who are saying, hey, that doesn't work for me. I know. Wait. But I think the ultimate thing is looking at does that work for me?
Not, is the internet telling me to do this? Oh, I have to play the game and make him chase me. Okay, well, you're doing it for other people, then you're not doing it authentically for yourself. You want to wait? Do what feels right.
Man.
I feel like that's what social media does so well, right? And I fall victim to that as well, right? Like I think we are as humans, it's so easy because when we start to compare what that's actually saying is like that's an insecurity. I don't think I could actually do it as well as this person.
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Chapter 8: What lessons did Sabrina learn from her Shark Tank experience?
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Why can't I? What's happening? And we have to remember, social media shows us the highlights, right? Like it shows us the blooper reel of look how beautiful that relationship is. And then all of a sudden, six months later, you find out like the guy cheated on her and she got pregnant. And it's like all this crazy shit. But oh, that photo looked so good.
So I think what's happened is between social media, movies, Disney, you know, all the, I think about I'm 34, the Backstreet Boys, like some of the lyrics you're like, oh, no wonder I thought that love was going to be something it wasn't. It's highly set up for unrealistic expectations. And then I think we start to compare on social media because we have zero data besides a photo.
And so it just leads to, I think that mindset just kind of being reaffirmed of like, I'm not good enough. I can't have this.
Yeah. I'm sure you're seeing that with a lot of young women, right?
It's really it breaks my heart because I would love people. I think that's why my partner and I are so open about how we communicate and stuff, because I will be the first to be like, oh, no, I got triggered like that annoyed me. And then this is how we talked about it, because it's a healthy relationship isn't the absence of conflict.
Healthy relationship doesn't mean that like you guys just agree on everything and everything goes well. Healthy relationship means you have conflict and repair that you can have an issue with your partner, repair it, have a conversation with.
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