Escaping the Drift - The Weekly Drop: Harnessing the Power of Adversity

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Escaping the Drift with John Gafford 12 min 1 speaker 8 chapters transcribed
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What is the main theme of this podcast episode?

John Gafford 0:00
from the podcast that gets you from where you are to where you want to be escaping the drift this is the weekly drop with john gafford no matter what platform you're watching or listening to us on make sure you like subscribe and comment and now the drop ah welcome back everybody i'm john gafford and welcome to your weekly drop and i gotta tell you man i have failed i mean absolutely crash and burn miserably failed

How can failures lead to personal growth?

John Gafford 0:26
And as the saying goes, if you don't fail, you probably aren't accomplishing very much either. And in life, the ball will get rolling, right? Sometimes you can just do no wrong. Confidence is strong. One success leads to the next. But if you're somebody like me that has a lot of balls in the air in business, in relationships, in ideas and concepts and things you wanna do, you're gonna miss way more than you connect with. And I win a lot, but man, I fail a lot. And sometimes those failures come really close together and start to compile on them a little bit. And so when that happens for me, A couple of things that I know. Number one, I've probably drifted too far away from my process of how I deal with failure.

What process should I follow to deal with failure?

John Gafford 1:18
So today in this podcast, I want to explain to you exactly what my process is for dealing with these things. But I also go back and revisit some books that I love. Obviously, Ryan Holiday's The Obstacle is the Way. My good friend Ari Rastegar, his book, The Gift of Failure. Pick it up on Amazon. Great book. But all of these little things to remind me of how to deal with these things. And when failure comes, dude, for me, it can be gut wrenching because I have sometimes ideas that I fall in love with. And I'm the first one to say I fall madly in love with my own ideas. And when they don't come to fruition or they fail, it's almost like for me. an artist that paints a painting and then people think it sucks, right?
John Gafford 2:05
It's almost how it feels because I take it so personally because so much of what I attempt to do, it is very personal to me, as I'm sure it is to you. And if you don't properly deal with those losses as they come up, then it's going to be a real problem. And it's funny, coming out next week on Tuesday, listen to this. I had Mikey C-Rock, who's a good friend, who I had him on the podcast.

How do I transform setbacks into opportunities?

John Gafford 2:29
His episode comes out next Tuesday. And just talking about, he wrote a book called Rocket Fuel, How to Turn Failure into Success. And it was the best analogy I'd ever heard for something he adopted at a very early age. He said it's either... It's either the trunk or the tank when something happens. You either put it in the trunk or the tank. And what he meant by that was if you put something in the trunk, if you think about that metaphor, it's like heavy, the back of the car, the vehicle sags down because it's towing all of this stuff. It's carrying all of this stuff. But the tank, man, that's what makes the thing go. So he says whenever adversity jumps up and bites him or he fails, he looks down and goes, am I going to use this?
John Gafford 3:08
Where's this going? It's two choices. There's no more than two choices. That's it. It's going to the trunk. It's going to the tank. And I wanted to kind of show you and tell you how I turn things from instead of putting them in the trunk and I put them in the tank. The first thing is this. I'm going to tell a story. My daughter had a situation where something that she loves and she works very, very hard at is not necessarily going her way. And right now, and you know, my first reaction to that as a father is, well, make yourself undeniable. Like if you're undeniable, then you can't get bumped out of the spot that you're trying to earn. That's my first, like earn it, everything or nothing given thought process. But then you start thinking sometimes some of this stuff is a little bit outside your control. And my wife wanted me to talk to her right away about it because my wife is very much super high EQ, very, you know, she's an empath, very empathetic, wanted to try to help baby bear right away.

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