Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

Neurodivergent Friendships: Self-Advocating, Masking, and Reframing Friendship as a Skill with Caroline Maguire

23 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

To me, writing a friendship manual for neurodivergent people seems kind of mind-bending. How do you encapsulate the beauty and diversity of ALL our br...

Gossip in Friendship: Is It Really as Bad as Everyone Says It Is?

16 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Does talking about one person to another make you a bad friend?For quite some time, I’ve been considering the role of gossip in friendship. I’ve r...

Unmuted Rooms and Judgement-Free Listening With Erin Snow

09 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

For years, Erin Snow was a trauma-informed legal advocate for domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking survivors, so she understands well the c...

Why (and How) You Should Start Initiating Recurring Social Gatherings

02 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Fitting social gatherings into busy lives often isn’t easy, but let me remind you of their value:One of the longest studies on human connection foun...

I Don’t Have Any Friends! (Help!)

26 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever felt like you have nobody to call, and wondered: how did I get here? Where are my people?Maybe you’d been focusing on your career and ...

Using AI to Navigate and Improve Friendships with Connor Joyce

19 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Like it or not, AI is becoming part of our world in countless capacities – including navigating friendships. Today’s guest is Connor Joyce, a sen...

Jealous of a Friend? Here's What That Feeling Is Actually Telling You

12 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Ever feel both happy and also … a little jealous when a friend shares good news?I experienced this dichotomy the other night, when my friend shared ...

How to Ask Someone to Hang Out (Without Making It Weird)

05 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

While brainstorming episode ideas, I sometimes search Google Analytics to see what people are asking. Here’s what I found this week: How do I ask so...

The 10 Coffee Date Experiment That Changed Her Friendships with Alison Kinsey

26 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

She used to call herself the shy, awkward kid with one best friend. Now she calls community her superpower. Last year, Alison Kinsey decided to run an...

Group Chat Anxiety (Part 2): What To Actually Do About It

19 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This is the second installment in a two-part series about group chat anxiety.If having a massive group chat text chain stresses you out, then I’m go...

Group Chat Anxiety (Part 1): Why Your Notifications Feel Like Emotional Homework

12 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever picked up your phone and discovered a hundred unread text messages?Likely you’re at the tail end of a group chat, and it kind of feels...

Grief and Friendship: Showing Up After Infant Loss with Michelle Valiukenas

05 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

When Michelle Valiukenas lost her daughter Colette after being born at 24 weeks, the grief was devastating – and this grief had real effects on her ...

An Act of Resistance: Why Getting to Know Your Neighbors Matters Right Now

29 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

One reason I do this work is I believe all humans deserve to feel safe – but for a lot of us, that’s not a reality right now. Across the country,...

Too Many Friends? How to Stop Burning Out in Your Relationships

22 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Ever feel like, all of a sudden, you have TOO many friendships to juggle?I know – this sounds like the most privileged problem ever! But truly, it’...

Should the Goal of Your Friendship be to “Never Rock the Boat?”

15 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Have I made it sound like it’s easy to keep friendships strong and resilient?If so, let me set the record straight: making changes in friendships, e...

It’s OK to Get Help With Making Friends (Especially After College!)

08 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Imagine you’re fresh out of college and just moved back to your hometown. Suddenly, making plans with your friends feels hard.Instead of meeting the...

[REPLAY] How to Talk to Friends About Celebrating Holidays Together

25 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I sobbed in the car about the holidays this week – but not for reasons you might think.Here’s what made me emotional: I am so grateful and excited...

[REPLAY] How to Stop Dreading Parties and Take Charge of Your Guest Experience

18 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

If you’re somebody who dreads going to a party, then this episode is for you.Sometimes the couch feels more appealing than going out into the world ...

Narrowing the Liking Gap and Feeling More Confident in Your Interactions

11 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Raise your hand if you’ve ever walked away from an interaction and thought, gosh, I was so awkward! They’ll never want to talk to me again.If this...

How to Host on Any Budget (and Not Fall Into the Martha Stewart Trap)

04 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Let's talk about the Martha Stewart trap so many of us have fallen into.You decide you’re going to get everyone together to see your new place....

The Benefits of Normalizing Not Drinking at Friend Gatherings

27 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I’ve never been a big drinker. In my early twenties, I remember having to stand up for myself to be included during drinking games, even though I wa...

Almost Everyone Has Experienced Friendship Break-Up (Twice!) with Meenadchi

20 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ninety-four percent of people have experienced more than one friendship break-up.Let that sink in. Nearly EVERYONE listening has been through this hea...

It’s Never Too Late to Make Friends

13 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

There is a message I keep getting in my DMs, and it breaks my heart every single time. It’s too late for me to make friends. I’m too old. I’ve ...

The Dynamics of Couple Friendships

06 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Lots of people tell me they want couple friendships – you know, those picture-perfect foursomes you see in movies, where everybody gets along effort...

Re-Thinking Conventional Friendship Wisdom with Jacob Marquez

30 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Calling someone you haven’t spoken to in two years isn’t weird; it’s just being human.Today’s guest is Jacob Marquez, also known as J. Henry, ...

Why We Should All Want Our Friends to Have Robust Social Lives (Even If It’s Without Us)

23 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Cheer your friends on for hanging out with each other … even if it’s without you!It might sound like counterintuitive friendship advice. But the t...

The Extraordinary Ripple Effects of Small Moments of Connection with Amy Stafford

16 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Imagine you’re an expat in Berlin in the early 2000s, with no smartphones, no social media, and barely any internet. You walk down the street and sp...

There’s a Spectrum to “Belonging” to a Group … and That’s OK!

09 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

One of the best things about being part of a group – whether a book club, neighborhood, friend group, or formal community – is feeling like you be...

Moving Past Inconvenience and Leaning into the JOY of Helping Our Friends

02 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Lately I’ve been hearing about how the price of community is inconvenience.You know what I’m talking about: those posts about how, if you want a v...

Reframing Rejection with Tanesha Moody

25 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

When putting yourself out there, rejection is inevitable. But here’s a reframe you might need to hear: YOU are not being rejected. It’s only your ...

Write Your Own Friendship Manual: Building Authentic Relationships While Neurodivergent with Lee Hopkins

18 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever felt like everyone but you received some kind of friend-making manual?Today’s guest, Lee Hopkins, is a social connections and business...

How to Not Feel Neglected in Conversations with Friends (and Why Sometimes TMI is a Good Thing)

11 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It happens to all of us: you leave an interaction and realize the conversation was all about the other person. They didn’t ask a thing about you. T...

[REPLAY] The Enormous Impact of Small Intimacies

04 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Sometimes to feel closer to our friends there’s this pressure to share our most vulnerable feelings or unearth some deep, dark secret. But what if ...

[REPLAY] You Say You Want a Village … But Do You?

28 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Your village is out there, waiting for you. It might even be knocking on your door, and you haven’t realized. People often think they need to make ...

[REPLAY] An Extensive Look at the Wheel of Connection

21 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This whole podcast was only a dream a couple years ago, and here we are now with 100 episodes. Thank you for being here, for listening, and for sharin...

[REPLAY] Digging Into the 3 Kinds of Friendship Roots

14 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

About three years ago, many of my friends moved away within a six month period.While I was excited for these friends, I also grieved; my friends are m...

[REPLAY] What Is A Friend? And the 4 Types of Friends We All Have

07 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

[REPLAY] FOUNDATIONAL FRIENDSHIP IRL EPISODEThis month, I’m replaying four episodes that I consider FOUNDATIONAL to understanding all other Friendsh...

Reframing the Idea of “Quality” in Friendship

24 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Quality over quantity – you’ve probably heard this phrase when it comes to friendship, right?So many of us strive for a few “quality” all-enco...

The Surprising Benefits of a Friendship Pause

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Picture this: you're staring at a text thread with your friend, and you realize you've had the same argument three times the past month. You...

Social Engineering Your Way Into Friendship, From Picnics to the Six Points of Connection, with Charlotte Massey

10 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever moved somewhere new and felt like you were on the outside looking in?This was Charlotte Massey when she moved to Seattle in the midst of...

All About Fringe Friends

03 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever felt like you were the “extra invite?” The “filler friend?” The friend who gets invited to the big events but never the intimate...

Being a Social Artist and Why Friendship Deserves Its Own Soundtrack With Leila Six

26 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

There are songs about romantic heartbreak, but where are the songs about losing a friend who meant EVERYTHING to you? That’s what Leila Six and I wa...

Navigating the Great Friendship Shift with Ericka Parker

19 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A few years ago, five sets of my friends moved away within a six-month period. These people were my emergency contacts, the people I did Sunday dinner...

The Spectrum of Digital Connection, From “Likes” to Deep Conversations

12 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The other day I was telling a friend about my goal to be better about responding to text messages in a more timely manner. My friend agreed: this was ...

Making Friends Online with Minded Society Co-Founders Marcela and Claudia

29 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In the past few episodes, I’ve talked about keeping in touch with friends through the digital space. This episode goes a step further: how do you MA...

Are Online Friends REAL Friends? (Hint: YES!)

22 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Are online friends REAL friends? I’m not talking about parasocial relationships, which are one-sided relationships; I’m talking about people you’...

Using Parasocial Relationships as a Bridge For Real Community Instead of a Replacement For It

15 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The term ‘parasocial relationship’ was coined in the 1950s by American sociologists Donald Horton and Richard Wohl to describe how people connecte...

Using Data to Manage the Friendship Mental Load With Mark Houghton

08 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

When was the last time you just called a friend because you wanted to talk?We carry these super computers in our pockets, but sometimes, using them to...

How Deep Friendship Can Impact Radical Change with Priya Vulchi

01 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Sometimes friendship can be a powerful force for social and political change.This is according to today’s guest, Priya Vulchi, author of the newly-r...

Super Psyched: The 4 Types of Connection We All Need with Dr. Adam Dorsay

17 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever stopped to think about what connection actually IS? How do you define the multi-faceted thing that we talk about all the time on this po...

The Easy Ask

10 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Who in your life are you most consistently connected to? Is it a partner? A roommate? A friend, sibling, or parent? Now tell me this: when was the la...

The Awkwardness of Making Friends When You Can’t Rely on Proximity

03 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A few months ago, I made a professional connection, and the energy felt good. As we neared the end of our working relationship, I realized I didn’t...

How Small Acts of Kindness Can Create Monumental Ripple Effects with Bryan Driscoll, author of The Goodness Game

27 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Do you ever think about how one small act of kindness can literally change the direction of someone's life? What if YOU could cause that turning ...

Speed Friending With Georgia Huntley

20 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

There are endless ways to make friends as an adult, and today we’re diving into one I have never covered before: speed friending.To some of you, thi...

Taking Political Action and Being a Connector Instead of an “Online Warrior”

13 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

During the pandemic, like many others, I felt politically charged, and I channeled this energy into being an online warrior.On social media, I reposte...

Do You Enjoy Your Friendships?

06 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Are you enjoying your friendships? Are you able to be present with your people and soak up your time together?So often, people focus on what’s missi...

Friendship Time Capsule: What I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self

27 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

One of you asked me an amazing question the other day: If you could tell your younger self one thing about friendship, what would you tell her?I spen...

The Friend Who Got Away: Regrets, Reality Checks & Why Some Friendships Haunt Us

20 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Do you ever drive past a former friend’s house and find yourself flooded with memories?Suddenly, you start thinking: what would it be like if you st...

Pet Peeves: The Things We Never Talk About

13 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Everyone’s allowed to have pet peeves. It’s normal and bound to happen.In this episode, I talk about common pet peeves; my friends’ pet peeves; ...

The Friendship Guilt Spiral

06 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Recently, I left a text message from a friend unanswered for ten days.It’s not something I’m proud of. All I needed to do was respond to this frie...

We are ALL Deserving of Help with Laura Malcolm, founder/CEO of Give InKind

30 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever had to FIGHT somebody in order to help them?I’ll bet we all have that friend who meets you with resistance when you offer to show up f...

The Hidden Costs of Being the “Strong Friend”

23 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I used to love being the “strong friend.” For awhile, it was a large part of my identity, and I’d brag about dropping anything to help a friend ...

Being Brave Enough to Show Up

16 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

At the time this episode airs, there are devastating wildfires in Los Angeles – and yet, I’ve seen some beautiful levels of response. When somethi...

Permission to Host Imperfectly (and Consequently Host More Often)

09 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Think of a space you feel completely comfortable in that’s not your own home.For me, it’s my grandparents’ house. I can easily picture their fro...

You Say You Want a Village … But do you?

02 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Your village is out there, waiting for you. It might even be knocking on your door, and you haven’t realized. People often think they need to make ...

A Recap of 2024: My Illness, Podcast Growth, and What’s Ahead in 2025

26 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The year 2024 feels like an absolute whirlwind. Where did the time go?Today’s episode was inspired by one of my podcast producers, Alison, who told ...

How to Talk to Friends About Celebrating Holidays Together

19 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

I sobbed in the car about the holidays this week – but not for reasons you might think.Here’s what made me emotional: I am so grateful and excited...

Creating Traditions that Stick (Hint: Sustainability is Key!)

05 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Traditions are incessant. They HAVE to keep happening. That’s what makes them traditions! So how do you create traditions that stick around month a...

Let’s Talk Chosen Family

28 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If you’ve listened to this podcast before, then you know the concept of the chosen family is very important to me personally.Some people in my chose...

Filling Your Life With Transformational Spaces and Believing Mirrors With Debra Driscoll

21 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

A few years ago, Debra Driscoll was living in Brooklyn, navigating a long-distance relationship and a life split between the city and the sea. Then, i...

Getting Less Passive and More Active on Podcasts and Social Media With Sharon Walters

14 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Many times on this podcast, I’ve talked about how powerful virtual connection can be, with the caveat: are you ACTUALLY engaging, or are you just lu...

How to Stop Saying ‘Someday’ and Plan That Trip With Your Friends!

07 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

I just got back from this wild, adventurous, 11-day road trip with my friend to see two Taylor Swift concerts on opposite sides of the country. How d...

Welcome to the Toastmasters: Formal Communities with Brendan Smith

31 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I pull back the curtain on one of my own formal communities: the Toastmasters.Today’s guest is Brendan Smith, a member of the Toast...

Navigating Friendship Through Chronic Illness

24 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This episode, about navigating friendship through chronic illness, is deeply personal to me.In last week’s episode, I shared about my own recent hea...

Celebrating 100 Episodes – Plus, an Extensive Look at the Wheel of Connection

17 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This whole podcast was only a dream a couple years ago, and here we are now with 100 episodes. Thank you for being here, for listening, and for sharin...

Is Individualism Costing Us More Than We Realize?

10 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Individualism is woven so deeply into the fabric of American culture that sometimes we don’t even notice it. But what if this cornerstone of our cul...

Breaking Through One-Sided Connections With Chrissy Marie

03 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever felt like you’re ALWAYS the one giving a shoulder to cry on – but don’t have one to cry on yourself?I think it’s a common issue ...

How to Set Bridges Instead of Boundaries with Zya Be

26 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever hesitated to set a boundary with a friend for fear of pushing them away? Or, maybe you found yourself on the receiving end of unspoken ...

10 Friendship Hot Takes

19 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today I’m going to share my personal hot takes about friendship.If you’ve been listening to Friendship IRL for a while, you’ll recognize some of...

Reconnecting With Old Friends When You’ve Become a Different Version of Yourself with Linda Mueller

12 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Imagine you’ve made the move you’ve always dreamed of. You live on the other side of the world and experience a new culture. It changes how you s...

Easing Burnout With Social Connections with Lesley Waldron

05 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed and exhausted by everything you have to do (while still worrying you aren’t doing enough!) then this episode is fo...

Who We Are Right Now: The Benefits of Making New Friends and Starting Over with Leannda Shearer

29 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

There’s no better way to test your friendship skills than to move to a new city, and today’s guest, Leannda Shearer, has moved to a new city not o...

How to Not Live Vicariously Anymore with Christine Hetzel

22 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Sometimes, when our social lives feel lacking, we find ourselves living  vicariously through others and wondering: how come they’re all living thei...

How to Stop Dreading Parties and Take Charge of Your Guest Experience

15 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If you’re somebody who dreads going to a party, then this episode is for you.Sometimes the couch feels more appealing than going out into the world ...

Dear Men: Stop Living on Autopilot and Strengthen Your Social Circle with Antonio Neves

08 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Do you know men who don’t have close friends?It’s a common problem (one that I cover in Episode 31 and Episode 32 of this podcast) with major impl...

Want a Couch Friend? You Need to Be a Couch Friend

01 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today I talk about two friendship terms I’ve been hearing more about lately: the “couch friend” and the “errand friend.”Lots of people want ...

Realizing It’s Just Not the Same Anymore With Sarah Marie Paige

25 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever gone back to an old friend, only to realize it’s not the same as it was?This is the experience of today’s guest, Sarah Marie Paige, ...

Spring Cleaning Friendships Through Life’s Transitions with Emily Rogers

18 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

There are some friendships we just need to let go of. In some instances, this means letting go of an aspect of a friendship. In others, this actually ...

How to Embody Main Character Energy in Friendship

11 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever met someone truly magnetic? They walk into the room, and suddenly, the energy shifts. People are drawn to them. Some might argue that t...

Shifting People Pleasing Friendship Patterns with Deb Blum

04 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

A few years ago, I realized that one of my friendship patterns was actually kind of a problem.I’d show up for my friends as Superwoman, bragging tha...

Don’t Let Your Brain Run Loose: Creating Solid Friendship Beliefs with Sarah Siegert

27 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What are your friendship beliefs? What stories do you tell yourself about your friendships?Today’s episode might be one of the most important I’ve...

The Case For Making Friends Who Are In Different Life Stages Than You

20 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

I just want to make friends who are in the same stage of life as me.In this business, I hear some of the same phrases over and over, and this is one o...

How Creating a Community is the Ultimate Self-Care with Fresh Starts Registry Co-Founder Jenny Dreizen

13 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

One thing I always say is creating a community is the ultimate self-care.In today’s episode, we dive deep into this idea with my good friend Jenny D...

Flexible Expectations and Modern Friendships with Author Anna Goldfarb

06 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If you’re having a bad day, try bragging about a friend. Talk about that thing they did and why they’re so great – it will turn your whole day a...

Finding Balance Between Community and Individualism With Donna Fields

30 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

How do we balance community and independence?This question is posed by today’s guest, Donna Fields, who, twenty years ago, moved to Spain, and exper...

Letting Our Historic Friendships Breathe in Their New Forms with Joseph Suttner

23 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Think about your closest friends. Have you ever felt yourself saying, maybe I just don’t know them anymore? Or, why is it so hard for us to get toge...

Checking-In: How’s Your Friendship Self Talk?

16 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

I’ve been paying more attention to my self talk lately, particularly my negative self talk.It’s so easy to berate ourselves and give ourselves lab...

Navigating Female Friendships and All Their Complexities with Danielle Bayard Jackson

09 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s topic is female friendship, and to be honest, I’m a little overwhelmed by the responsibility.I hear your stories about the intensity, catt...

Losing a Best Friend and Navigating Grief with Michelle Cecil

02 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s episode is all about holding space – and it’s a poignant reminder of the importance of friendship and how it can profoundly affect our l...

The Physiological Impacts of Connection (Which is Actually More Important Than Exercise) with Dr. Zarya Rubin

25 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

How much Vitamin J are you getting in your life?In today’s episode, we’re talking with Dr. Zarya Rubin, a Harvard educated functional medicine phy...