Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Episodes
[REPLAY] How to Talk to Friends About Celebrating Holidays Together
25 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
I sobbed in the car about the holidays this week – but not for reasons you might think.Here’s what made me emotional: I am so grateful and excited...
[REPLAY] How to Stop Dreading Parties and Take Charge of Your Guest Experience
18 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
If you’re somebody who dreads going to a party, then this episode is for you.Sometimes the couch feels more appealing than going out into the world ...
Narrowing the Liking Gap and Feeling More Confident in Your Interactions
11 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Raise your hand if you’ve ever walked away from an interaction and thought, gosh, I was so awkward! They’ll never want to talk to me again.If this...
How to Host on Any Budget (and Not Fall Into the Martha Stewart Trap)
04 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Let's talk about the Martha Stewart trap so many of us have fallen into.You decide you’re going to get everyone together to see your new place....
The Benefits of Normalizing Not Drinking at Friend Gatherings
27 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
I’ve never been a big drinker. In my early twenties, I remember having to stand up for myself to be included during drinking games, even though I wa...
Almost Everyone Has Experienced Friendship Break-Up (Twice!) with Meenadchi
20 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ninety-four percent of people have experienced more than one friendship break-up.Let that sink in. Nearly EVERYONE listening has been through this hea...
It’s Never Too Late to Make Friends
13 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
There is a message I keep getting in my DMs, and it breaks my heart every single time. It’s too late for me to make friends. I’m too old. I’ve ...
The Dynamics of Couple Friendships
06 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Lots of people tell me they want couple friendships – you know, those picture-perfect foursomes you see in movies, where everybody gets along effort...
Re-Thinking Conventional Friendship Wisdom with Jacob Marquez
30 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Calling someone you haven’t spoken to in two years isn’t weird; it’s just being human.Today’s guest is Jacob Marquez, also known as J. Henry, ...
Why We Should All Want Our Friends to Have Robust Social Lives (Even If It’s Without Us)
23 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Cheer your friends on for hanging out with each other … even if it’s without you!It might sound like counterintuitive friendship advice. But the t...
The Extraordinary Ripple Effects of Small Moments of Connection with Amy Stafford
16 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Imagine you’re an expat in Berlin in the early 2000s, with no smartphones, no social media, and barely any internet. You walk down the street and sp...
There’s a Spectrum to “Belonging” to a Group … and That’s OK!
09 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
One of the best things about being part of a group – whether a book club, neighborhood, friend group, or formal community – is feeling like you be...
Moving Past Inconvenience and Leaning into the JOY of Helping Our Friends
02 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Lately I’ve been hearing about how the price of community is inconvenience.You know what I’m talking about: those posts about how, if you want a v...
Reframing Rejection with Tanesha Moody
25 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
When putting yourself out there, rejection is inevitable. But here’s a reframe you might need to hear: YOU are not being rejected. It’s only your ...
Write Your Own Friendship Manual: Building Authentic Relationships While Neurodivergent with Lee Hopkins
18 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever felt like everyone but you received some kind of friend-making manual?Today’s guest, Lee Hopkins, is a social connections and business...
How to Not Feel Neglected in Conversations with Friends (and Why Sometimes TMI is a Good Thing)
11 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It happens to all of us: you leave an interaction and realize the conversation was all about the other person. They didn’t ask a thing about you. T...
[REPLAY] The Enormous Impact of Small Intimacies
04 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes to feel closer to our friends there’s this pressure to share our most vulnerable feelings or unearth some deep, dark secret. But what if ...
[REPLAY] You Say You Want a Village … But Do You?
28 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Your village is out there, waiting for you. It might even be knocking on your door, and you haven’t realized. People often think they need to make ...
[REPLAY] An Extensive Look at the Wheel of Connection
21 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This whole podcast was only a dream a couple years ago, and here we are now with 100 episodes. Thank you for being here, for listening, and for sharin...
[REPLAY] Digging Into the 3 Kinds of Friendship Roots
14 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
About three years ago, many of my friends moved away within a six month period.While I was excited for these friends, I also grieved; my friends are m...
[REPLAY] What Is A Friend? And the 4 Types of Friends We All Have
07 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
[REPLAY] FOUNDATIONAL FRIENDSHIP IRL EPISODEThis month, I’m replaying four episodes that I consider FOUNDATIONAL to understanding all other Friendsh...
Reframing the Idea of “Quality” in Friendship
24 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Quality over quantity – you’ve probably heard this phrase when it comes to friendship, right?So many of us strive for a few “quality” all-enco...
The Surprising Benefits of a Friendship Pause
17 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Picture this: you're staring at a text thread with your friend, and you realize you've had the same argument three times the past month. You...
Social Engineering Your Way Into Friendship, From Picnics to the Six Points of Connection, with Charlotte Massey
10 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever moved somewhere new and felt like you were on the outside looking in?This was Charlotte Massey when she moved to Seattle in the midst of...
All About Fringe Friends
03 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever felt like you were the “extra invite?” The “filler friend?” The friend who gets invited to the big events but never the intimate...
Being a Social Artist and Why Friendship Deserves Its Own Soundtrack With Leila Six
26 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
There are songs about romantic heartbreak, but where are the songs about losing a friend who meant EVERYTHING to you? That’s what Leila Six and I wa...
Navigating the Great Friendship Shift with Ericka Parker
19 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A few years ago, five sets of my friends moved away within a six-month period. These people were my emergency contacts, the people I did Sunday dinner...
The Spectrum of Digital Connection, From “Likes” to Deep Conversations
12 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The other day I was telling a friend about my goal to be better about responding to text messages in a more timely manner. My friend agreed: this was ...
Making Friends Online with Minded Society Co-Founders Marcela and Claudia
29 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In the past few episodes, I’ve talked about keeping in touch with friends through the digital space. This episode goes a step further: how do you MA...
Are Online Friends REAL Friends? (Hint: YES!)
22 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Are online friends REAL friends? I’m not talking about parasocial relationships, which are one-sided relationships; I’m talking about people you’...
Using Parasocial Relationships as a Bridge For Real Community Instead of a Replacement For It
15 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The term ‘parasocial relationship’ was coined in the 1950s by American sociologists Donald Horton and Richard Wohl to describe how people connecte...
Using Data to Manage the Friendship Mental Load With Mark Houghton
08 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
When was the last time you just called a friend because you wanted to talk?We carry these super computers in our pockets, but sometimes, using them to...
How Deep Friendship Can Impact Radical Change with Priya Vulchi
01 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes friendship can be a powerful force for social and political change.This is according to today’s guest, Priya Vulchi, author of the newly-r...
Super Psyched: The 4 Types of Connection We All Need with Dr. Adam Dorsay
17 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever stopped to think about what connection actually IS? How do you define the multi-faceted thing that we talk about all the time on this po...
The Easy Ask
10 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Who in your life are you most consistently connected to? Is it a partner? A roommate? A friend, sibling, or parent? Now tell me this: when was the la...
The Awkwardness of Making Friends When You Can’t Rely on Proximity
03 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A few months ago, I made a professional connection, and the energy felt good. As we neared the end of our working relationship, I realized I didn’t...
How Small Acts of Kindness Can Create Monumental Ripple Effects with Bryan Driscoll, author of The Goodness Game
27 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Do you ever think about how one small act of kindness can literally change the direction of someone's life? What if YOU could cause that turning ...
Speed Friending With Georgia Huntley
20 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
There are endless ways to make friends as an adult, and today we’re diving into one I have never covered before: speed friending.To some of you, thi...
Taking Political Action and Being a Connector Instead of an “Online Warrior”
13 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
During the pandemic, like many others, I felt politically charged, and I channeled this energy into being an online warrior.On social media, I reposte...
Do You Enjoy Your Friendships?
06 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Are you enjoying your friendships? Are you able to be present with your people and soak up your time together?So often, people focus on what’s missi...
Friendship Time Capsule: What I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self
27 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
One of you asked me an amazing question the other day: If you could tell your younger self one thing about friendship, what would you tell her?I spen...
The Friend Who Got Away: Regrets, Reality Checks & Why Some Friendships Haunt Us
20 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Do you ever drive past a former friend’s house and find yourself flooded with memories?Suddenly, you start thinking: what would it be like if you st...
Pet Peeves: The Things We Never Talk About
13 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Everyone’s allowed to have pet peeves. It’s normal and bound to happen.In this episode, I talk about common pet peeves; my friends’ pet peeves; ...
The Friendship Guilt Spiral
06 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Recently, I left a text message from a friend unanswered for ten days.It’s not something I’m proud of. All I needed to do was respond to this frie...
We are ALL Deserving of Help with Laura Malcolm, founder/CEO of Give InKind
30 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever had to FIGHT somebody in order to help them?I’ll bet we all have that friend who meets you with resistance when you offer to show up f...
The Hidden Costs of Being the “Strong Friend”
23 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
I used to love being the “strong friend.” For awhile, it was a large part of my identity, and I’d brag about dropping anything to help a friend ...
Being Brave Enough to Show Up
16 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
At the time this episode airs, there are devastating wildfires in Los Angeles – and yet, I’ve seen some beautiful levels of response. When somethi...
Permission to Host Imperfectly (and Consequently Host More Often)
09 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Think of a space you feel completely comfortable in that’s not your own home.For me, it’s my grandparents’ house. I can easily picture their fro...
You Say You Want a Village … But do you?
02 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Your village is out there, waiting for you. It might even be knocking on your door, and you haven’t realized. People often think they need to make ...
A Recap of 2024: My Illness, Podcast Growth, and What’s Ahead in 2025
26 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The year 2024 feels like an absolute whirlwind. Where did the time go?Today’s episode was inspired by one of my podcast producers, Alison, who told ...
How to Talk to Friends About Celebrating Holidays Together
19 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
I sobbed in the car about the holidays this week – but not for reasons you might think.Here’s what made me emotional: I am so grateful and excited...
Creating Traditions that Stick (Hint: Sustainability is Key!)
05 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Traditions are incessant. They HAVE to keep happening. That’s what makes them traditions! So how do you create traditions that stick around month a...
Let’s Talk Chosen Family
28 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If you’ve listened to this podcast before, then you know the concept of the chosen family is very important to me personally.Some people in my chose...
Filling Your Life With Transformational Spaces and Believing Mirrors With Debra Driscoll
21 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A few years ago, Debra Driscoll was living in Brooklyn, navigating a long-distance relationship and a life split between the city and the sea. Then, i...
Getting Less Passive and More Active on Podcasts and Social Media With Sharon Walters
14 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Many times on this podcast, I’ve talked about how powerful virtual connection can be, with the caveat: are you ACTUALLY engaging, or are you just lu...
How to Stop Saying ‘Someday’ and Plan That Trip With Your Friends!
07 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
I just got back from this wild, adventurous, 11-day road trip with my friend to see two Taylor Swift concerts on opposite sides of the country. How d...
Welcome to the Toastmasters: Formal Communities with Brendan Smith
31 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I pull back the curtain on one of my own formal communities: the Toastmasters.Today’s guest is Brendan Smith, a member of the Toast...
Navigating Friendship Through Chronic Illness
24 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This episode, about navigating friendship through chronic illness, is deeply personal to me.In last week’s episode, I shared about my own recent hea...
Celebrating 100 Episodes – Plus, an Extensive Look at the Wheel of Connection
17 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This whole podcast was only a dream a couple years ago, and here we are now with 100 episodes. Thank you for being here, for listening, and for sharin...
Is Individualism Costing Us More Than We Realize?
10 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Individualism is woven so deeply into the fabric of American culture that sometimes we don’t even notice it. But what if this cornerstone of our cul...
Breaking Through One-Sided Connections With Chrissy Marie
03 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever felt like you’re ALWAYS the one giving a shoulder to cry on – but don’t have one to cry on yourself?I think it’s a common issue ...
How to Set Bridges Instead of Boundaries with Zya Be
26 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever hesitated to set a boundary with a friend for fear of pushing them away? Or, maybe you found yourself on the receiving end of unspoken ...
10 Friendship Hot Takes
19 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today I’m going to share my personal hot takes about friendship.If you’ve been listening to Friendship IRL for a while, you’ll recognize some of...
Reconnecting With Old Friends When You’ve Become a Different Version of Yourself with Linda Mueller
12 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Imagine you’ve made the move you’ve always dreamed of. You live on the other side of the world and experience a new culture. It changes how you s...
Easing Burnout With Social Connections with Lesley Waldron
05 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed and exhausted by everything you have to do (while still worrying you aren’t doing enough!) then this episode is fo...
Who We Are Right Now: The Benefits of Making New Friends and Starting Over with Leannda Shearer
29 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
There’s no better way to test your friendship skills than to move to a new city, and today’s guest, Leannda Shearer, has moved to a new city not o...
How to Not Live Vicariously Anymore with Christine Hetzel
22 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes, when our social lives feel lacking, we find ourselves living vicariously through others and wondering: how come they’re all living thei...
How to Stop Dreading Parties and Take Charge of Your Guest Experience
15 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If you’re somebody who dreads going to a party, then this episode is for you.Sometimes the couch feels more appealing than going out into the world ...
Dear Men: Stop Living on Autopilot and Strengthen Your Social Circle with Antonio Neves
08 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Do you know men who don’t have close friends?It’s a common problem (one that I cover in Episode 31 and Episode 32 of this podcast) with major impl...
Want a Couch Friend? You Need to Be a Couch Friend
01 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today I talk about two friendship terms I’ve been hearing more about lately: the “couch friend” and the “errand friend.”Lots of people want ...
Realizing It’s Just Not the Same Anymore With Sarah Marie Paige
25 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever gone back to an old friend, only to realize it’s not the same as it was?This is the experience of today’s guest, Sarah Marie Paige, ...
Spring Cleaning Friendships Through Life’s Transitions with Emily Rogers
18 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
There are some friendships we just need to let go of. In some instances, this means letting go of an aspect of a friendship. In others, this actually ...
How to Embody Main Character Energy in Friendship
11 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever met someone truly magnetic? They walk into the room, and suddenly, the energy shifts. People are drawn to them. Some might argue that t...
Shifting People Pleasing Friendship Patterns with Deb Blum
04 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A few years ago, I realized that one of my friendship patterns was actually kind of a problem.I’d show up for my friends as Superwoman, bragging tha...
Don’t Let Your Brain Run Loose: Creating Solid Friendship Beliefs with Sarah Siegert
27 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
What are your friendship beliefs? What stories do you tell yourself about your friendships?Today’s episode might be one of the most important I’ve...
The Case For Making Friends Who Are In Different Life Stages Than You
20 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
I just want to make friends who are in the same stage of life as me.In this business, I hear some of the same phrases over and over, and this is one o...
How Creating a Community is the Ultimate Self-Care with Fresh Starts Registry Co-Founder Jenny Dreizen
13 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
One thing I always say is creating a community is the ultimate self-care.In today’s episode, we dive deep into this idea with my good friend Jenny D...
Flexible Expectations and Modern Friendships with Author Anna Goldfarb
06 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If you’re having a bad day, try bragging about a friend. Talk about that thing they did and why they’re so great – it will turn your whole day a...
Finding Balance Between Community and Individualism With Donna Fields
30 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
How do we balance community and independence?This question is posed by today’s guest, Donna Fields, who, twenty years ago, moved to Spain, and exper...
Letting Our Historic Friendships Breathe in Their New Forms with Joseph Suttner
23 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Think about your closest friends. Have you ever felt yourself saying, maybe I just don’t know them anymore? Or, why is it so hard for us to get toge...
Checking-In: How’s Your Friendship Self Talk?
16 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
I’ve been paying more attention to my self talk lately, particularly my negative self talk.It’s so easy to berate ourselves and give ourselves lab...
Navigating Female Friendships and All Their Complexities with Danielle Bayard Jackson
09 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today’s topic is female friendship, and to be honest, I’m a little overwhelmed by the responsibility.I hear your stories about the intensity, catt...
Losing a Best Friend and Navigating Grief with Michelle Cecil
02 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today’s episode is all about holding space – and it’s a poignant reminder of the importance of friendship and how it can profoundly affect our l...
The Physiological Impacts of Connection (Which is Actually More Important Than Exercise) with Dr. Zarya Rubin
25 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
How much Vitamin J are you getting in your life?In today’s episode, we’re talking with Dr. Zarya Rubin, a Harvard educated functional medicine phy...
The Power of Vulnerability in Small Doses: Embracing Small Intimacies
18 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes to feel closer to our friends there’s this pressure to share our most vulnerable feelings or unearth some deep, dark secret. But what if ...
Carving Out More Time For Connection With Our People with Career Break Coach and Author Katrina McGhee
11 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
How much time do you spend with the people who matter to you most?This could be your partner, your kids, your family, your friends, your community. Th...
Crafting Connections in Small Towns and Virtual Worlds with Wesley Stroupe
04 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we cover something I’ve been DYING to talk about: friendship in virtual reality. When you put on the headset and enter the VR world...
The Magical Combination of Intention and Small, Simple Actions With Zahara Williams
28 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Never underestimate the power of the simple things, especially when it comes to friendship.I love that we tackle the big topics on this podcast, but t...
Separating Our Own Friendship Beliefs From Our Children’s With Pam Howard
21 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Do you want to teach your kids how to make and maintain friendships?I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: modeling is so important, but as t...
Unpacking Learned Loneliness – and How We Can Impact Change
14 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
When the term “learned loneliness” came across my desk, it made my ears perk up. The idea of learned loneliness – that loneliness is now our ne...
How To Support Your Friends Through All of Life’s Fresh Starts with Olivia Howell
07 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever felt like a bad friend for not showing up for someone you care about?Or maybe you’re frustrated that you’re ALWAYS showing up for ev...
Breaking the Cycle: Rewriting and Modeling the New Rules of Friendship For the Next Generation With Annmarie Beatty
29 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Many adults today say they weren’t taught to make and maintain friendships. I’m often asked how we might break this cycle and model something diff...
Navigating Friendships When You Decide to Drink Less with Hitha Palepu
22 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
From happy hours to bottomless mimosa brunches, many friendships are held together by activities that involve alcohol.Consequently, these friendships ...
How Jenna Myhre Deyle Moved Across the Country to Live Closer to Friends
15 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
How close do you live to your friends? Next door? Down the street? Or do many of your friends live on the other side of the country? Today’s guest,...
Are Low-Maintenance Friendships Actually Low Maintenance? (Plus, Tips on How to Make Them Work Better For You!)
08 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Are low-maintenance friendships all they’re made out to be?So many of us are trying to live in this impossible zone of wanting friendship to be litt...
What Would You Tell Your 20-Year-Old Self About Friendship? With Arpita Mehta
01 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If you could go back and advise your 20-year-old self about friendship, what would you say?Personally, I always had the worst social anxiety hangover,...
Finding Your Purpose Through Friendship With Mark Delaney of The Purpose Mastermind
25 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Need something to light you up today? Maybe some profound advice? Look no further!Today’s episode features Mark Delaney, host of the podcast The Pur...
The Layers of Talking About Money With Friends With Financial Coach Sarah Roller
18 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
My friends and I talk about money all the time. It’s a great way to crowdsource information from people in the same season of life. I also think it ...
Friendship Goals: Why They’re Important and How to Make Them
11 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today’s episode is about friendship goals. Why set them? What do they look like?So many people are taking one action after another when it comes to ...
Book Clubs, Bookish Flights, and the People We Read With featuring Kara Infante
14 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Books are like people – they come into our lives when we most need them.Today’s guest, Kara Infante, host of the Bookish Flights podcast, shares t...