Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST

Episode 96: Gay Men and When It's Time to Break Up a Relationship

17 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives guidance for when you need to break up with a relationship partner. 

Episode 95: Coping with Sudden Crisis: A Personal Story

09 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken describes a personal crisis being hospitalized with cellulitis, and the perspective learned from sudden severe illness. 

Episode 94: Gay Men Who Live Together Too Early

09 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives guidance on how gay male couples can cope with living together too early in their relationship. 

Episode 93: Gay Men and Consensual Non-Monogamy Early in Relationships

25 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives guidance for gay male relationships who want to be Consensual Non-Monogamous (CNM) early in a new relationship. 

Episode 92: Gay Men and How to Ruin a Friendship: Ten Tips

04 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives ten tips on how to ruin a friendship -- and how to address them. 

Episode 91: Gay Men Coping with ED: The Emotional, Physical, and Interpersonal

25 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, discusses the contributing factors in erectile dysfunction (ED) in gay men, the emotional, physical, interpersonal, and cultura...

Episode 90: For a Job, For a Guy, For a Change: Gay Men and the Decision to Relocate

03 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses how gay men make the decision to relocate to a different town, city, state, or country and the reasons why.  

Episode 89: Gay Men Using Apps: The Dilemma of Dating Versus Hookups

11 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses gay men's approach to gay smartphone apps like Grindr and Scruff, and getting your sexual and emotional needs met with a clear perspecti...

Episode 88: The Needs of Gay Men in the Volatile "LGBT" Era

25 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses the umbrella term "LGBT" and the consideration of the specific needs of gay men, and their political and social implications. 

Episode 87: Gay Men and Gym Crushes: Cherish Your Romantic Notions

18 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses the "gym crush" phenomenon and how our perceptions of fantasies versus reality support our well-being as gay men.

Episode 86: COVID's End as Trauma Recovery in Gay Men

01 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken describes how the end of COVID-19 pandemic restrictions in many regions can mean recovering from a traumatic experience, with the symptoms and pha...

Episode 85: Healthy Relationships Don't Do That: A Guide for Gay Men's Dating and More

15 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses Armine Asatryan, LMFT's 7 unhealthy traits in a relationship and their solutions, as applied to gay men. 

Episode 84: Improving Gay Men's Relationships: Meeting Three Needs

11 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST discusses improving gay men's relationships by meeting three needs: emotional, sexual, and interpersonal. 

Episode 83: Three Ways to Improve Your Sex Life for Gay Men

27 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, offers three ways for gay men to improve their sex lives: communication, negotiation, and exper...

Episode 82: The Six Principles of Sexual Health As Applied to Gay Men

12 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist, applies the Braun-Harvey and Vigorito "Six Principles of Sexual Health" specifically to gay men...

Episode 81: How to Avoid a Gay Relationship Breakup - The Four Risks

30 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken shares some of the research of Dr. John Gottman, who identified the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" in relationship demise as Defensiveness, Cri...

Episode 80: Revisiting Sex Addiction and Porn Addiction with Guest David Ley, Ph.D.

17 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Host Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, welcomes David Ley, Ph.D., CST-S, author of "The Myth of Sex Addiction" and other books, to revisit the idea of "sex addic...

Episode 79: Gay Men and Money Management: How to Empower Yourself

07 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW, gay men's specialist therapist and coach, gives tips on money management for gay men. 

Episode 78: Gay Men's Relationships: How to Deal with Your Ex

23 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives tips on how to deal with your "ex" in what's called the "post-relationship relationship," and how to succeed in moving on. 

Episode 77: Gay Therapist on Sexual Mental Health: The Triumvirate of Self, Partner, Others

10 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, gives guidance on how sex therapy for gay men helps your quality of sex life with yourself, partner(s), or others in affirming ...

Episode 76: Gay Men's Goals: How Do You Define Success in the New Year?

26 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives practical tips for success for 2021, in many areas of your life, including emotionally, physically, financially, relationally, and professio...

Episode 75: Gay Men's Relationship Vocabulary: Partner? Husband? Hookup?

12 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses the terms we use in gay male relationships to describe functions and roles, about what you are -- and what you want to be. 

Episode 74: Gay Men's Dilemmas: Falling in Love with Straight or Unavailable Men

29 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses gay men who fall in love with straight or unavailable men. 

Episode 73: Gay Relationships and the 'Sexual Thaw': Restoring Sex After a Long Stalemate

09 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW, gives tips to gay male couples who no longer have sex, and practical ways to "thaw" the stalemate and restore sex. 

Episode 72: Gay Men, COVID-19, and Avoiding the Pitfalls: Substances, Lethargy, and Despair

25 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

GayTherapyLA founder, Ken Howard, LCSW gives tips on dealing with the stress of COVID-19, how to avoid pitfalls, and ultimately prepare for recovery. ...

Episode 71: Gay Male Couples and the Decision to Have Kids

13 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives tips to prospective gay dads on questions to ask yourselves and each other about the option of having kids in a gay male relationship. 

Episode 70: Gay Men and Sex During COVID-19

30 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives tips for gay men on how to approach sex in the new era of COVID-19, from a Harm Reduction approach. 

Episode 69: Gay Men's Relationship Advice: How to Succeed in an Age-Difference Relationship

12 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives tips on how gay men who have a much younger or a much older partner can make their relationship thrive for the long term. 

Episode 68: Gay Men's Relationship Advice: How to Have a Successful Gay Long Distance Relationship

22 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW, a specialist in gay men's relationship advice, gay couples therapy, and gay sex therapy, gives tips on how to manage a gay long-dist...

Episode 67: Gay Men and the Need for Safe Spaces of Our Own

12 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses the need for gay men to have bars, clubs, and other social "safe spaces" of their own, which are being increasingly threatened during CO...

Episode 66: The Mental Health Chapter from "Self-Empowerment: Have the Life You Want!" Book

02 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken shares the Mental Health chapter from his book, "Self-Empowerment: Have the Life You Want!" and its application to gay men. 

Episode 65: Two Tops, Two Bottoms: A Gay Men's Relationship Dilemma - Now What?

25 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives case examples of how gay couples face the dilemma of being two "tops" or two "bottoms", and how couples therapy and sex therapy can help. 

Episode 64: Gay Men's Strengths: Making the Most of Your Culture

15 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW describes how our culture of origin can help gay men build resilience in tough times, and celebrate who we are, and where we came fro...

Episode 63: Gay Men and Discipline: The Secret Weapon to Achieving Your Goals

09 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives tips on how developing self-discipline can help you achieve what you want to do, be, or have, offering solutions to the things that get in y...

Episode 62: Gay Male Creative Professionals: Celebrating Success, Managing Challenges

30 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives a list of essential mental health coping skills for success for actors, writers, designers, and other creative professionals. 

Episode 61: Must-Have Money Conversations for Every Gay Relationship

18 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses an article by Elyssa Kirkham on the 7 must-have money conversations to have before cohabitation or marriage, but from a gay male perspec...

Episode 60: Gay Men and Alcohol: The Relationship with the Bottle

11 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken asks you to reflect on your "relationship" with alcohol and drugs.  What's the quality of this relationship?  What changes need to be made for y...

Episode 59: Why Nerds Make the Best Boyfriends for Gay Men

08 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses why nerds make the best boyfriends for gay men and other tips for gay men's dating. 

Episode 58: Gay Men and the Big Five Personality Traits

27 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses how the classic "Big Five" personality traits of Openness, Conscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism apply to unde...

Episode 57: Gay Men Coping with Stress: Start at the Source

09 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken describes how using Problem-Solving Therapy can help reduce overwhelm/stress in the midst of COVID-19 and police brutality. 

Episode 56: Problem-Solving in Gay Men's Open Relationships

30 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives tips on how gay open relationships can overcome jealousy, STI risk, privacy, and other challenges. 

Episode 55: Gay Men Making the Most of Your Past, Present, & Future

26 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses how to reach your life goals by making the most of your past, present, and future. 

Episode 54: Coping with COVID-19 for Gay Men: What Type Are You?

19 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken describes 4 main emotional reactions to COVID-19, and the 5 "coping types" among gay men observed in clinical practice.

Episode 53: Gay Men in Common Crisis Situations & Steps to Handle Them

12 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses crisis situations gay men can face like discrimination, financial, health, and personal losses, and how to cope with them.

Episode 52: Why White Gay Men Should Support Black Lives Matter

12 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses why gay White men and other LGBT should be supporting #BlackLivesMatter as a collaboration of minority groups to fight social injustice ...

Episode 51: Gay Men Coping with Single Life: Tips and Tricks

02 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives 12 tips on coping with life as a single gay man, based on case examples from clinical practice for being at your best. 

Episode 50: Three Types of Erectile Dysfunction and their Interventions

20 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Gay men's specialist therapist and sex therapist, Ken Howard, LCSW,  discusses erectile dysfunction at three "stages" and how to cope with them, bala...

Episode 49: The New COVID-19 Coping: Balancing "Toxic Positivity" with "Adaptive Coping"

14 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW discusses how to validate both positive and negative feelings during the COVID-19 crisis and find coping strategies that work for eac...

Episode 48: Gay Men's Mental Health During COVID-19: Next to Normal

08 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses how to cope with the mental health aspects of the current COVID-19 pandemic, inspired by a Broadway show song.

Episode 47: Gay Men and the Mental Health Aspects of Working from Home

01 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives tips on working from home during the COVID-19 crisis, with an emphasis on gay men and mental health considerations. 

Episode 46: Gay Men Conquering Anxiety with Probability

25 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Feeling anxious?  Ken gives tips on how to manage and anxiety, prevent it, and cope with it. 

Episode 45: How Gay Men Can Develop Resilience - Part 2 - Techniques

16 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

In the second part of the gay men and resilience discussion, Ken lists specific techniques that can help. 

Episode 44: How Gay Men Can Develop Resilience - Part 1 - Traits

16 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives tips on how gay men can cultivate resilience to face any crisis/challenge, by adapting certain cognitive/behavioral traits. 

Episode 43: Gay Men and Coronavirus/COVID-19: A Special Kind of Coping

12 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives tips for gay men for coping with the Coronavirus/COVID-19 pandemic, and takes to task Republican leadership for bungling handling of COVID-1...

Episode 42: Ten Ways Gay Men Can Handle Hard Conflict

10 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Gay men's specialist therapist and coach, Ken Howard, LCSW, gives 10 ways gay men can cope with interpersonal conflicts that every life has.  

Episode 41: Gay Men's Dating Skills -Avoiding the Pitfalls of Cash, Connections, C--k

29 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives tips on how to improve your chances of finding a partner by avoiding the gay men's dating mistakes of emphasizing the wrong things, like his...

Episode 40: Positive Thoughts for Fabulous Living at Every Age for Gay Men

24 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives tips on how to manage negative thoughts about yourself, the world, and your future, and how to use positive affirmations. 

Episode 39: Beyond Crystal Meth Recovery: Meth Prevention for Gay Men

17 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses how to not only recover from crystal meth abuse, but how gay men can avoid being ensnared by it in the first place, through sex-positive...

Episode 38: Valentines Day for Single Gay Men: Coping with Hope

11 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives guidance on how single gay men can cope with loneliness and frustration on Valentine's Day. 

Episode 37: Gay Men and the Serenity of Acceptance, Courage, Wisdom

11 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken reviews how gay men can change their lives for the better, with the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the thin...

Episode 36: Avoiding Four Big Risks of Gay Relationship Breakup

03 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses Gottman's "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" for the risks of relationship breakup, and tips for avoiding them.

Episode 35: Gay Men's Birthdays, Self-Esteem, and The Meaning of Life

27 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives tips on how birthdays are an especially poignant time for gay men, and relates them to self-esteem. 

Episode 34: Hotter Monogamy for Gay Men

20 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken describes how gay male couples who choose monogamy can have a hotter sex life without necessarily opening their relationship.

Episode 33: The Golden Boys - Gay Men at Midlife

13 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives a list of tips on how gay men can make the best of the midlife years. 

Episode 32: Breaking the Ice - Gay Men Overcoming Shyness

06 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives tips on overcoming shyness and social anxiety in gay men, with practical tips on starting, continuing, and ending new conversations in socia...

Episode 31: Beyond New Year's Resolutions: Making Real Life Changes

30 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Gay men's specialist therapist and coach (27 years) Ken Howard, LCSW, teaches how to make and sustain desired life changes and meet goals in ways that...

Episode 30: A Secular Appreciation of Christmas

17 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW, a gay men's specialist therapist/coach for over 27 years, gives perspectives on how even the non-religious the world over can enjoy ...

Episode 29: The Gym/Fitness Connection in Gay Men's Mental Health

05 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW, gay men's specialist therapist, discusses the connection between the gym/fitness and mental health for gay men, based on inspiration...

Episode 28: Gay Men at Thanksgiving - Living in Gratitude

26 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW, discusses the role of Thanksgiving for gay men's family of origin, and family of choice. 

Episode 27: Gay Men and Appearance Privilege

21 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Gay men's specialist therapist and coach Ken Howard, LCSW, discusses ""Gay Men and Appearance Privilege: What It Is, What To Do About It"

Episode 26: Gay Men's Relationships - Reconciling the Living Room with the Bedroom

14 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW, guides gay male couples on how to achieve relationship satisfaction non-sexually ("the living room") and sexually ("the bedroom"). 

Episode 25: Beyond Crystal Meth Recovery - Meth Prevention for Gay Men

06 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW, discusses how gay men recover from crystal meth dependence, and advocates for community education on innovative, sex-positive ways t...

Episode 24: Confronting Our Fears at Halloween

31 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses how to confront and overcome our fears on the occasion of Halloween. 

Episode 23: How to Reach Your Goals: Approach/Avoidance

22 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses the "approach/avoidance" phenomenon with gay men reaching personal and professional goals.

Episode 22: Managing Jealousy in a Gay Male Relationship

15 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses jealousy in gay male relationships and how to cope with it. 

Episode 22: Managing Jealousy in a Gay Male Relationship

15 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses jealousy in gay male relationships and how to cope with it. 

Episode 21: Coping with the Breakup of a Friendship

26 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives tips for how gay men cope with a breakup of a platonic friendship and making new friends throughout life. 

Episode 20: Best Predictors of Men's Well-Being

18 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken discusses a research article by Leah Fessler, "The Strongest Predictor of Men's Well-Being" and how it relates to life/career coaching. 

Episode 19: Finding Mr. Right in Gay Men's Dating: The Six Lights Theory

12 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives tips for gay men's dating and relationships by using an analogy that refers to the status lights of a computer modem.

Episode 18: Gay Male Sexual Abuse, Incest, and Rape Survivors: Coping and Thriving

05 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives information on gay men who are sexual abuse, incest, and rape survivors; common characteristics and coping to thrive. 

Episode 17: Toxic Busy: How Much Is Too Much for Gay Men?

28 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken describes tips for "reclaiming your time" and reducing your stress in our "too busy" modern lives. 

Episode 16: How Gay and Straight Relationships Differ in 10 Ways

26 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken describes how gay male and straight relationships differ, based on observations in over 27 years doing couples therapy with gay men.

Episode 14: Advice for Young Gay Men - 12 Tips to Improve Your Life Now and Later

20 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives 12 tips, as an older gay man, to younger gay men, on how to improve quality of life at any age. 

Episode 13: The Role and Value of a F--- Buddy for Gay Men

19 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken gives a list of tips on why having a f--- buddy or friend with benefits can be an important resource for gay men. 

Episode 12: Gay Men and Erectile Dysfunction: Cognitive Causes and Cures

18 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW, a gay men's specialist licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist, gives tips on how gay men can cope with erectile dysfunction (ED)...

Episode 11: Conflict in Gay Relationships: My Partner Isn't Contributing Equally

08 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW, a gay psychotherapist specializing in gay men for 27 years, gives tips for when there is relationship conflict because one partner f...

Episode 10: Topics in Sex Therapy for Gay Men: Overcoming Fear of Topping

02 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW, a gay men's specialist therapist for over 27 years, and sex therapist, gives tips for gay men on how to overcome a fear of topping. ...

Episode 9: Topics in Sex Therapy for Gay Men: Overcoming Fear of Bottoming

25 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW, gives tips on how to overcome the 5 most common fears gay men report about bottoming heard in his psychotherapy practice at GayThera...

Episode 8: Gay Men and Ghosting: Why We Do It, How We Cope

29 Apr 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Gay therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, discusses the phenomenon of gay men and "ghosting", suddenly stopping communication for seemingly no reason. 

Episode 7 - Gay Men and Social Media with Matthew Allen APCC

02 Apr 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken's associate clinician at Gay Therapy LA, Matthew Allen, MA, APCC, discusses gay men's relationship with social media apps and how to turn stress i...

Episode 6 - Religious Abuse of Gay Men and Its Healing - Brandon Malde-Zoradi

28 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Gay therapist specialist Ken Howard, LCSW, founder and director of Gay Therapy LA, interviews gay therapist Brandon Malde-Zoradi, MA, AMFT, APCC, Asso...

Episode 5: Why Gay Men Cheat and How to Prevent It

17 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken lists the 6 most common reasons gay men cheat in monogamous relationships, and offers a "fix" for each one.

Episode 4: Gay Men and Depression: Four Strategies for Help

13 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Gay men's specialist therapist, Ken Howard, LCSW, gives four strategies for gay men struggling with depression to get help and relief. 

Episode 3 - Problem-Solving in Gay Men's Open Relationships

09 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Tips for problem-solving common challenges that arise in gay men's open relationships. 

Episode 2 - Gay Men and Gay Relationships 2.0 - Should I Go Back to My Ex?

04 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Ken Howard, LCSW, a gay men's specialist therapist and coach for over 27 years, gives tips on how to cope with deciding whether to go back into a new ...

Episode 1: Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW New Podcast

08 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

GayTherapyLA is a private practice for psychotherapy and coaching services, with Ken Howard, LCSW, as its founder and director, with over 26 years exp...