Grownups Read Things They Wrote as Kids

"I don't feel like celebrating" (Anniversary Special)

30 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

It’s our final episode of season 6, and the 13th anniversary of Grownups Read Things They Wrote as Kids. To celebrate, we revisit some of our all-t...

"Hugs and kisses aren't enough" (Toronto)

16 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Holly gets her friends out of jail, Vince lists his favourite things, Peggy crushes on Matthew Perry, and much more. Recorded live at The Royal Cinema...

"I'm writing this stark naked" (Montréal)

02 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan hates camp, Amanda gets naked in the rain, Ash has a crush on a barista, and much more. Recorded live at La Sala Rossa in Montréal.Photos from ou...

"Mr. Sexy wears a thong" (Moncton)

18 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Amanda stinks up her school, Kate imagines a US-Canada war, Kayla describes Mr. Sexy, and much more. Recorded live at The Caveau in Moncton.Photos fro...

"I need adventure" (Kitchener)

04 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Rachel predicts the future, Tim carries a knife, Sara compares Lucy Maud Montgomery to Stephen King, and much more. Recorded live at TWH Social in Kit...

"Kissed by a wet donkey" (Saskatoon)

21 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Corrinne wants a pet gerbil, Heather wants to see balls, Lauryn wants to run away from home, and much more. Recorded live at The Broadway Theatre in S...

"We only want each other for the kissing" (Toronto)

07 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Emilia recounts her first kiss, Michelle tries to guilt her parents, Natalie recognizes the importance of eye health, and much more. Recorded live at ...

"Atomic fart blasts" (Halifax)

23 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Amy laments being a pre-teen, Krista writes a letter to her future self, Carolyn’s rabbit dies, and much more. Recorded live at The Carleton in Hali...

"Hottie Hunter" (Victoria)

09 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Marissa goes hottie hunting, Anna dislikes piano lessons, Jeni writes an unauthorized sequel to a 1964 young adult novel, and much more. Recorded live...

"Mr. Sexy Legs" (Vancouver)

26 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Carol watches Titanic, Alan shares a pun-filled geography lesson, Ev contemplates success and failure, and much more. Recorded live at The York Theatr...

"A burning furnace of hatred" (Victoria)

12 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Zebariah hates Bill Gates, Haidee hates two of her friends, Loreen gives her sister a very unusual birthday card, and much more. Recorded live at the ...

"I thought my mom was an alien" (Toronto)

29 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Luke wants a pet, Holly goes to a teen dance, Suzan grieves for a llama, and much more. Recorded live at The Royal Cinema in Toronto.Show notesSupport...

"I love oral hygiene" (Fredericton)

15 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Brittany investigates a bank robbery, Mike can’t do yo-yo tricks, Ashley wants to pierce her tongue, and much more. Recorded live at the Charlotte S...

🇨🇦 “The Great White North” (Canada Day special)

01 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

To celebrate Canada Day this July 1, it’s a very special episode full of childhood and teenage writing about our home and native land. Letters to Ca...

"How dirty are you?" (Montréal)

17 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Cora stalks a boy, Jeff puts an unusual spin on a classic children’s story, Eliza learns about personification, and much more. Recorded live at La S...

"The worst mistake of my whole entire life" (Edmonton)

03 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Anna documents her first kiss, Laura regrets shoplifting, Eloise wants to rid the world of communism, and much more. Recorded live at The Rec Room in ...

"My hormones were flying" (Regina)

20 May 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Kate writes poems about Prince William, Lynette describes her first kiss, Hannah’s brothers fart in her room, and much more. Recorded live at The Ar...

"Mom, put on some clothes!" (Calgary)

06 May 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Hannah asks God an important question, Chris’s brother comes home, Marta loses her virginity, and much more. Recorded live at the Leacock Theatre at...

"Puberty has taken her" (Montréal)

22 Apr 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Nisha gets drunk, Danielle falls in love on the bus, nobody eats the fish Jonah caught, and much more. Recorded live at La Sala Rossa in Montréal.Sho...

"Let the devil take my soul" (Winnipeg)

08 Apr 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Carley writes a postcard to a famous musician, Rheannon gets her heart broken, Sara shares a moral tale about wishes, and much more. Recorded live at ...

"We all smelled like poo" (Saskatoon)

25 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Kim writes a ransom note, Kurt tells the story of a magic jungle mouse, Julianna falls off a tractor, and much more. Recorded live at The Broadway The...

"Get down and party" (Woodford)

11 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Jemma tricks her grandma, Mark writes a rap song, Glen fights a skeleton, and much more. Recorded live at the Woodford Folk Festival.Show notesSupport...

"Hunting for Yowies" (Woodford)

25 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Kate tries to drop her boyfriend, Sax hunts Yowies, Oliver debunks the concept of true love, and much more. Recorded live at the Woodford Folk Festiva...

"Passion at its finest" (Valentine's Day special)

11 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

From secret crushes to breakup poems, raging hormones to long distance love letters... it's a very special episode of Grownups Read Things They Wrote ...

"No better than a rag" (Yellowknife)

28 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Jane explains the miracle of sponges, Chris tells the tale of a mischievous elf, Emily has an incident on the monkey bars, and much more. Recorded liv...

"Punk rock is today’s revolution" (Victoria)

14 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Julia picks up a hitchhiker, Mitra goes to a dance, Doug gets scientific, and much more. Recorded live at the Victoria Event Centre in Victoria. ...

"The Republic of Dad" (Montréal)

31 Dec 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Paul critiques Pop Art, Nisha recounts a feline miracle, Serenay drafts a UN resolution, and much more. Recorded live at La Sala Rossa in Montréal. ...

"I wrecked his little heart" (Montréal)

17 Dec 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Kim is mad at Britney Spears, Daniel raps a love song, Myra wonders if she’s fake, and much more. Recorded live at La Sala Rossa in Montréal. ...

"Make the bed creak" (Toronto)

03 Dec 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Vicky writes a letter to all the boys in the world, Erica reviews a Weird Al Yankovic concert, Jane wonders about the future, and much more. Recorded ...

"Farting in the bath" (Vancouver)

19 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Annelies farts in the bathtub, Emilie overhears her parents having sex, Ryan shares a Star Trek Christmas story, and much more. Recorded live at The Y...

"Once upon a time in Barfland" (Kitchener)

05 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Stephanie shops for underwear, Sean re-writes “The Three Little Pigs,” Tanis dreams of Jonathan Brandis, and much more. Recorded live at The Walpe...

Halloween Spooktacular

22 Oct 2018

Contributed by Lukas

A very special episode full of spooky, scary, spine-tingling childhood and teenage writing, recorded live across Canada. Support GRTTW...

"Mouth-to-mouth contact" (Toronto)

08 Oct 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Chris has a Star Trek sex dream, Luke gets a haircut, Lauren swears (a lot), and much more. Recorded live at the Royal Cinema in Toronto in partnershi...

"A virginal sex goddess" (St. Albert)

24 Sep 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Taylor lights a canoe on fire, Maura experiences an embarassing gas leak, Vanessa sees Daniel Radcliffe nude, and much more. Recorded live at the Arde...

"P.S. I only love you for your money" (St. Albert)

10 Sep 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Trisha writes an “ode to Steve,” Kate compares sex to pizza, Jennifer argues about her phone curfew, and much more. Recorded live at in St. Albert...

"Grandma slept in her bed naked" (Toronto)

27 Aug 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Leah accepts an Oscar, Dylan starts a horse club, Brian gets a blood test at camp, and much more. Recorded live at the Royal Cinema in Toronto. ...

"Dear Michael Jackson" (Calgary)

13 Aug 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Inez gets her first boyfriend, Wade writes California Raisins fan fiction, Jessica shares passive aggressive poetry, and much more. Recorded live at t...

"I’m worried about dry humping" (Vancouver)

30 Jul 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Debra gets her period, Chris writes a crime novel, Jayda falls in love at first sight, and much more. Recorded live at the York Theatre in Vancouver. ...

"Big pimpin' life goals" (Ottawa)

16 Jul 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Matt pulls pranks, Yasmina visits Rome, Janna reads her personal mission statement, and much more. Recorded live at The Gladstone Theatre in Ottawa. ...

"A handy turn of events" (Calgary)

02 Jul 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Luke writes a breakup letter, Jason curses his romantic rival, Kristina shares a poem about a scab, and much more. Recorded live at the Leacock Theatr...

"My purity ring" (Vancouver)

18 Jun 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Brittany writes to her future husband, Marlene contemplates going all the way, Luke imagines life as a tugboat, and much more. Recorded live at the Yo...

"I will burn you with my flaming positivity" (Kingston)

04 Jun 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Lori writes a fan letter to New Kids on the Block, Simone runs for student government, Aerlie and Jolene share a forbidden friendship, and much more. ...

"Arousal ≠ chastity" (Saskatoon)

21 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Carmody lusts after Gary Oldman, Hank gets hit in the face, Mackenzie has a wart removed, and much more. Recorded live at The Broadway Theatre in Sask...

"People are becoming fanatical about computers" (Saskatoon)

07 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah makes rules for her future children, Val recaps the early 1980s, Cody reads a spooky Choose Your Own Adventure-style story, and much more. Recor...

"Technically, I'm a witch" (Chicago)

23 Apr 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Danielle sings about arithmetic, Lydia remembers her grandfather, Robbie writes a letter to the universe, and much more. Recorded live in Chicago. ...

"Your bum, my pillow" (Winnipeg)

09 Apr 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Brigette puts her heart on eBay, Kyra warns snoopers, Radean obsesses about bubble gum, and much more. Recorded live at the Park Theatre in Winnipeg. ...

"I wore my hot pants" (Thunder Bay)

26 Mar 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Jessica obsesses over Paula Abdul, Emma imagines being Prime Minister, Will shares a sci-fi horror story, and much more. Recorded live at The Finlandi...

"We played strip poker and held a private séance" (Fredericton)

12 Mar 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Marsha plays strip poker, Genevieve solves a mystery, Julia hates her entire family, and much more. Recorded live at the Charlotte Street Arts Centre ...

"Orange juice douche" (Toronto)

26 Feb 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Ryan gets in a fight, Adelade describes a very special dog, Freddie reads from his DeadJournal, and much more. Recorded live at the Tranzac Club in To...

"My mom's heart" (Kitchener)

12 Feb 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Jessica describes the perfect guy, Moody reads a love poem, Meredith explains important rules for witches, and much more. Recorded live at The Walper ...

"One big, long, painful, adolescent experiment" (Ottawa)

29 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Caitlin contemplates her first kiss, Todd writes a poem about picking your nose, Melanie reviews The X-Files, and much more. Recorded live at The Gla...

"I wish I could French kiss" (Fredericton)

15 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Ryan lives the “rock star” life, Julie documents a secret crush, Pat wants a bike, and much more. Recorded live at Charlotte Street Arts Centre in...

"Indolent people with tacky ideas" (Charlottetown)

01 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Em explains the perils of pornography, Wendy writes long-distance love letters, Chet imagines villainous owls, and much more. Recorded live at the Flo...

"It touched my feelings like a sledgehammer" (Peterborough)

18 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

James writes a letter to Prime Minister Joe Clark, Mélanie crushes over MSN, Lisa predicts the future, and much more. Recorded live at Market Hall Pe...

"Beating the bush" (Toronto)

04 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Chris discovers he’s gay, Tegan writes poems about Ebola, Ariana falls in love with an older man, and much more. Recorded live at the Tranzac in Tor...

"You can't moose hunt for a living" (Toronto)

20 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Trevor fights Dracula, Peggy writes for her friend's zine, Ryan is valedictorian for the class of '96, and much more. Recorded live at the Hot Docs Po...

"Naked hugs are the best" (Calgary)

06 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Anastassia gives naked hugs, Khulud hunts for boys, Helen laments her evil step-grandmother, and much more. Recorded live at Yuk Yuk's in Calgary. ...

"Witch with a capital B" (Victoria)

23 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Sheila shares a wartime record, Gregory moves to a new city, Elyse compares humans to dinosaurs, and much more. Recorded live at the Victoria Event Ce...

"To bathe or not to bathe?" (St. Albert)

09 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan is outraged by citrus fruit, Millie explains how to live with a kangaroo, Jeannine writes a poem about hygiene, and much more. Recorded live at...

"Thinking about getting stoned" (Ottawa)

25 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Todd worries that he’s sitting next to a corpse, Rose reads poems about unrequited love, Diane wishes upon a star, and much more. Recorded live at Y...

"Ten things I love about Matt" (Vancouver)

11 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Zahida passes out during sex ed, Geoff writes a very Canadian spy story, Mandy gets a crush on the class president, and much more. Recorded live at th...

"Brains are better than boobs" (St. Albert)

28 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Maura contemplates puberty, Matt poops his pants, Michelle imagines a family of horses, and much more. Recorded live at The Arden Theatre in St. Alber...

“Kiss virgin" (Vancouver)

14 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Ivy puts a flashlight in her mouth, Alex shares a jealous teen love letter, Jasmin kisses a boy in Stanley Park, and much more. Recorded live at the R...

"He was puberized" (Ottawa)

31 Jul 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Michelle meets her cute penpal, Fadhili obsesses over Transformers, Marty shares a whale of a tale, and much more. Recorded live at Yuk Yuk's in Ottaw...

"Single and ready to mingle" (Kitchener)

17 Jul 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Elizabeth faces a betrayal, Nitica disagrees with the President of India, Nathan searches for loopholes, and much more. Recorded live at the Registry ...

"I practically broke my butt" (Sudbury)

03 Jul 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Kayla mourns the passing of Napster, Matthew visits Death Cliff, Jessica writes love letters set in the future, and much more. Recorded live at Fromag...

"You are not a beefcake" (Toronto)

19 Jun 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah writes a fan letter to Dean Cain, Chandra has a steamy make-out session, Anuj shares a story about the human reproductive system, and much more....

"He went to Uranus" (Winnipeg)

05 Jun 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Suzie explains why it's good to lie (sometimes), Kameron wishes for a job with good pay, Carly and Lauren visit Planet Oreo, and much more. Recorded l...

"Joey the Hormone" (Montréal)

22 May 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Kate shaves her armpits, Jeffrey meets a religious blood cell, Mary publicly shames her father, and much more. Recorded live at La Sala Rossa in Montr...

"Peanut butter is my universe" (Saskatoon)

08 May 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dylan fights giant tarantulas, Camille shares a message from the Pope about drugs, Luke tells an amazing story of survival in southern Montana, and mu...

"I'm pretty sure I missed his lips" (Regina)

24 Apr 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Robyn meets a flying whale, Todd tells a cautionary tale about drugs and alcohol, Ashley gets a hug from Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20, and much more. Rec...

"If you are lucky, you will die" (Kingston)

10 Apr 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Wendy reflects on the Apollo 11 space mission, Chris writes horoscopes for his elementary school newsletter, Kristy dresses up as a prostitute for Hal...

"Love is like a terrifying blanket" (Toronto)

27 Mar 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Frances writes love letters to a stranger, Tish vists planet Grammar, Matthew buys a discount turkey burger, and much more. Recorded live at the Tranz...

"My mom is nice. My dad is OK." (Windsor)

13 Mar 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Nellie crushes on fictional characters, Dan plays spin the bottle, Rachel learns a history lesson, and much more. Recorded live at The Rondo in Windso...

"I will now talk about my sorrows" (Montréal)

27 Feb 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Talia overcomes her shyness, Josh reads Indiana Jones fan fiction, Madeline crushes on her bandstand partner, and much more. Recorded live at La Sala ...

"Space yogurt" (Hamilton)

13 Feb 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Breanne loses her temper, Jody writes a revenge poem, Ryan recaps game shows, and much more. Recorded live at The Spice Factory in Hamilton. ...

"Smiling is an infectious disease" (Toronto)

30 Jan 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Bhoomika gets infected, Benj has a love affair with an inanimate object, Chelsea invents a menstruation detective, and much more. Recorded live in Tor...

"Homemade birth movies" (Ottawa)

16 Jan 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Cassandra explores Wicca, Adam avoids birth movies, Derek writes a food-based love poem, and much more. Recorded live at Yuk Yuk's in Ottawa. ...

"God bless Green Day and Danny Williams" (Halifax)

02 Jan 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Emilie gets a visit from the cow inseminator, Toni gets caught drinking, Jennifer writes fan fiction about public transit, and much more. Recorded liv...

"Hello there, big boy" (Toronto)

19 Dec 2016

Contributed by Lukas

John feels funny about Christmas carols, Roger moves to Canada, Esther writes mandatory letters from camp, and much more. Recorded live in Toronto at ...

"Search my remains for more answers" (Montréal)

05 Dec 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Jon runs away from home, Simon runs away from a drug rehab program, Kristen critiques Shakespeare, and much more. Recorded live at La Sala Rossa in Mo...

"I love you more than chicken hearts" (Calgary)

21 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Song pulls a telemarketing prank, Rebecca obsesses over Justin Timberlake, Melanie makes a "special friend" at camp, and much more. Recorded live in C...

"Looks old in a hot way" (Ottawa)

07 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Susan steals vegetables, Glenn goes bumper-hitching, Claire reads an angry letter addressed to math, and much more. Recorded live in Ottawa, ON. ...

"We're not dating. We're just in love with each other." (Vancouver)

24 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Tara writes a letter to her future self, Ron loves and lusts in vain, Felicia and Skylar discuss hookups, and much more. Recorded live in Vancouver, B...

"My yearly love attack" (Whitehorse)

10 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

George might be a bowling addict, Laurel suggests ways to improve Whitehorse, Andrew takes care of his baby brother, and much more. Recorded live at t...

"Stages of horniness" (Toronto)

26 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Rachel plans a skinny-dipping prank, Josh writes a very formal love note, Dianne mashes up fairy tales, and much more. Recorded live at the Tranzac Cl...

"The first time I'd seen a real one" (Yellowknife)

12 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Maureen contemplates losing her virginity, Rajiv writes a lullabye about the Iran-Contra affair, Kimberley shares a steamy shower scene, and much more...

"Who needs boobs? I don't." (Edmonton)

29 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Jamie lists things (and people) she hates, Nora and Stanley find love in the feminine hygiene aisle, Carlito writes a song about girl repellent, and m...

"My love floats lonely as a feather" (Vancouver)

15 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Bernadette makes a silent vow, Omar rebels against middle school propaganda, Willow writes an obituary, and much more. Recorded live at the Biltmore C...

"What's with all these freaking nudists?" (Toronto)

01 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Nikki fights to end cruelty in nursery rhymes, Brent is different when he's alone, Chris watches late-night erotica on TV, and much more. Recorded liv...

"We play smoochie-pie on the couch" (Winnipeg)

18 Jul 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Lexi visits the Czech Republic, Gabrielle finds herself in a love square, Carson meets the monster from the Black Lagoon, and much more. Recorded live...

"You stole my electron" (Regina)

04 Jul 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Evan writes a letter to Wayne's World, Sabrina tells a terrifying tale about a murderous English teacher, Kaylee grabs her crush's balls, and much mor...

"Love me, bananas" (Montréal)

20 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Shelby worries about evil bananas, Patrick visits another planet, Simone stops indenting, and much more. Recorded live at La Sala Rossa in Montréal, ...

"I'm not one of those psycho girls" (Vancouver)

06 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Heidi tries to keep things above the neck, Cam rips off a classic fable, Elena writes a letter to Prince William, and much more. Recorded live at the ...

"Don't let the bed bugs get you pregnant" (Victoria)

23 May 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Carolyn finds an envelope full of nude photos, Preeti questions her faith, Rob and Trish read their love letters from 42 years ago, and much more. Rec...

"I would totally date you if I wasn't you" (Saskatoon)

09 May 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Barry gets a "hard-on" during The Ed Sullivan Show, Katherine weighs the pros and cons of losing her virginity, Danica files a report about the new tr...

"We looked and smelled deadly" (Halifax)

25 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Renee finds herself in an 8th-grade love triangle, Gordon writes short fiction about crime-fighting insects, Sarah confesses to petty crime, and much ...

"Nothing is sexier than teamwork" (Toronto)

11 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Heather and Bianca share dating advice, Josh reads Zelda-themed short fiction, Mary Jean almost gets stood up, and and much more. Recorded live at the...

"I hugged with girls today" (Winnipeg)

28 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Karleigh threatens the Tooth Fairy, Kaj reads a comic book about giant mutant beavers, Jen writes a letter to the Prime Minister, and much more. Recor...

"Virginity is like a birthday cake" (Calgary)

14 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Terra compares virginity to a birthday cake, Bradley explains how to find a rock, Mary plans to "bump off" a nun, and much more. Recorded live at Yuk ...