Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hello, everybody. It's Ethan Klein coming at you live with a new week. Fresh shows from sunny Los Angeles, California. That's right. It's March 9th, 2026. Onward, friends. Onward and upward. Today's episode is sponsored by Monarch Money, and we have a great show for all of you at home. How's everybody doing today? It's Ethan Klein. Come at you. Hello. Talk to us. Doing great. Thank you.
All right. All right. Zach up there. How are you doing up in the clouds? Rightio, boss. Rightio. No, that's not an answer to my question. I'm sorry, what was your question? How are you doing? Oh, I'm doing fantastic. Of course. Rightio. Rightio. My headphones are coming a little hot. Can you fix that? Yes, yes, sir.
We've got, you know, today is an important day for the show because as a day one, I would say a day one Chalamet hater. Because I don't necessarily, I think he's a good actor. My problem is that he's everywhere, and I hate when these actors get shoved down my throat. And I have been a conscientious objector to Marty Supreme, his new movie, that they were over-promoting the shit out of.
From the first second I saw all these influencers with this Marty Supreme windbreaker, I'm like, guys, take a fucking day off. I'm over it, so I'm not watching it, despite everyone says, oh, it's a good movie. I don't care. It might be the greatest movie of all time. It might change my life. I'm not watching it. I don't care. Not doing it. But the people are finally starting to catch up to me.
I think it's important to say that we also haven't watched any movies. Well, that's not true. I saw... Goat. I saw Goat. And then before that, I saw... SpongeBob. SpongeBob. And then before that, I saw Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Right. Which, by the way... That's the best one. Oh, yeah, Minecraft I saw. Thank you, Galia. The best one was the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
I didn't even know there was one. It's sick, bro. It's made by the people that made Into the Spider-Verse. Oh, really? So the animation's really cool, too. Wait, was that just a short before the movie? No, it was a whole movie.
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Chapter 2: What are the hosts' opinions on Timothée Chalamet?
It was a whole movie. My memory's like... That's true. It was a short, but before that... Are you talking about the one that came out in 2023? Yeah. I don't think it was that long ago. Yeah, it was that long ago. Okay. I thought, yeah, okay, I knew about this one. I just, you were talking about it like it was a new thing. I guess he was right. We don't see a lot of movies.
That was my original point. Three years? Yeah, that was three years ago. Yeah. Teddy was four when I took him to that? Or even less? Three? Yeah, because I remember I took Bruce. I think Bruce was barely ready to see a movie. I'm out on movies. I was telling Hila before the show that me and Lena went to go watch Peaky Blinders. I'm a huge Peaky Blinders fan. Movie?
Yeah, there's a movie that summarizes the finale, basically, continuing the show. And it was horrible. It was such a disappointment. That's a shame. It's such a shame. Why would they do that? Why? Well, I personally find it to be a red flag when shows, long-running beloved shows, I'm invested. Then they're like, oh, if you want to finish the story, you got to buy a movie ticket. The fuck is that?
Definitely. No, I agree. But if you're going to do that, it might as well be like a masterpiece. But it's not. It's a cash grab. Always. It's a cash grab. They said it was set up so well, the time period lined up where I thought... I thought the Peaky Blinders were going to help bring down the Nazis in World War II. That's fun. That'd be hilarious.
I mean, without spoiling anything, he's had this back and forth with Elfie, you know, the guy from the Jewish mob throughout the whole show. Them coming together for that, too, I felt like could have been really good, but yeah. So did he die? I don't want to spoil anything. Obviously he died. I haven't watched seasons of that show, but of course he died at the end, right? It has to be.
I'll say this. I'm not the type where if the character dies, I think it ruins it. That's the least of my concerns. So that's not why I didn't like it. But I'm not confirming if he died or didn't die. He's dead. Also... I'm sure of it. There was a time change. What? Thank God. Everybody feeling fucked up by it? I'm sorry, did you not notice that there was a time change tomorrow?
Wait, was there actually? There really was. We lost an hour? Yeah. I knew I was heading my head up. Did you feel something weird? I was so tired. I even messaged love. I said, very tired today. That's true. Oy de la love. We lost an hour. Bit of a tucker. I need a little bit of an afternoon tucker. Also happened yesterday. But for some reason, I couldn't go to sleep. I don't understand why.
Shouldn't it be the other way? I told you. I was up so late. No, that makes sense because we lost an hour. No, losing time is the good one because then it's sunny. My brain can never figure it out. We love losing time. The sun stays up longer. Yeah, I do love that. I want it to be sunny. I want to live my life in the daylight. Yes. Not in the dark. I'm done with daylight savings, bro. We all are.
Well, some people complain, but then you wake up and it's dark and it's like, well, get over it. Guess what? It's the morning. You're supposed to be up cooking breakfast for somebody. Woo! Woo! Woo! Elliot just pointed out, yeah, I'd heard about this, that in BC, in Canada, that this was their last, this was their last time. They're not doing it again. God bless them. When is our time?
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Chapter 3: How do the hosts feel about the promotion of movies?
I'm pretty sure insider trading is still illegal. I think it just doesn't get prosecuted. You see what I'm saying? Or it's hard to prove, you know? Yeah. Well, I guess what the difference is is that it shouldn't be legal for them to trade stocks at all because they're swimming in inside information. Right.
every everything they do is is seeped in insider information so theoretically it should be illegal for anyone in congress to invest or they should have it in a blind trust which means they can't make this they can't influence the decisions that's why you have people like uh nancy pelosi's husband being like the most successful stock trader of all time you see what i'm saying the dude is up like a bajillion percent you know
See what I'm saying? I do see what you're saying. My portfolio is up today. It is? Mm-hmm. What are you invested in? NVIDIA. That's one of the things that's doing good today. I hate to tell you something about NVIDIA, but I'm suing them. I know. I'm waiting. I've been sitting on it next week because I want to have my lawyers call in with me and they're available next week. Let's go.
There's TSM is up. AMD. So you're in tech. Google. Hmm. Good for you. Good for you, Mr. Techie over here. Mr. Haste Daylight over here. He's on the side of the computers. What am I a battery to you? Yeah, you are. Are you professional or not? Anywho, what else we got popping? Oh, yeah, so the sub-a-thon's coming up on Monday, a week from today. That means all of our out-of-towners are arriving.
Wow. I know Kate and Harley arriving on Friday. Galia's arriving sometime this week. I don't know when. I don't remember. But everyone's coming in. And it's going to be so much fun on Monday. Monday the 16th. Galia's arriving tomorrow night. Shout out to her family. Make sure you're here on Monday the 16th. We're going to have a dunk tank, dude. A flippin' dunk tank, dude.
I always loved dunk tanks, my whole life. Whenever you had a fair or something, it's great. I've never been on a dunk tank. Me neither. Now that I think of it. Sounds fun. I've been the dunker, not the dunkee. I'll be both. You know? And really, that's it. That's actually the entire sub-a-thon. Dunk tank for six hours, baby. Six, eight, maybe. Eight hours.
For every new membership, I have to spend one second underwater without taking a breath. All the snarkers are going to be trying to drown me. But little do you know, I've been training with David Blaine. I can hold my breath for 30 minutes. Wait, not with David Blaine. Not anymore. That was before the Epstein stuff. Was it before the Revelation? Yes. Okay, I hope so. Man, what the hell, dude?
I try not to think about Blaine. Yeah, that really bummed us. It was devastating. It was really devastating, isn't it? Yes, man. Yeah. So, anywho. I was not that hot on David Blaine. He's the only magician I like. His magic is sick. He's the only one I like. Obviously, he's impressive, but his aura has always been very off-putting to me. No, it's cool. It's so cool.
Well, now I know that his biggest disappearing act is making little children disappear after they've been trafficked. It's not that impressive anymore. That's not rude. I guess in some cases... Well, why do you think they're friends with him? For his magic? For his card tricks? I wasn't. I was never there. Um...
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Chapter 4: What new promotional strategies are being discussed for the movie?
What the fuck are you talking about, dude? Ethan, you're so right. Thank you. They have this thing that they think they're so important. They do. And it went to their head. And now the alright guy, like, look at his face. So, by the way, this video... This video, they really thought they were doing something. And like... It's a what? What do you mean American film? Why do you... Who cares?
The fuck? He's... You know, he's pitching to an international audience here. Who's gonna watch it? China? Did it get a release in China? Probably not.
Chapter 5: How does the discussion shift to the significance of American film?
I don't think so, because it's like a pro-America propaganda film. It is? I really don't know. It's about American Olympian or something. I'll admit, I'm a bad cinephile. I know it's nominated for Oscars. I don't know fucking anything about this movie. Other than that, it's about ping-pong. May you be due high. That's racist, bro. The film that comes out on Christmas Day 2025!
Agalya's saying he's touring in China right now. Is he copying Frankie, our boy? So Frankie-coded. I'm in Las Vegas, California. Big warning. Huge storm coming to Las Vegas, California. Sorry. It's just music, but it's like, wow, look at me. I'm standing on top of the eyeball thing. The sphere. Cool. Next. Has anyone done that before? I don't care.
I think he is the first person to stand on the sphere. What about the construction workers? What about the men? Men are doing important things. Men who built it and toiled and slid to their death. Do they not count? Impossible tragedies. They've endured. the sweat, the blood, to say that Timothy Shalamumu is the first man to step on top of the eyeball. It's a shame. It's a real tragedy.
Chapter 6: What are the implications of the recent comments made about ballet and opera?
It's a tragedy. Bring a tear to my eyes. My grandmother's pubic hair brushed softly across my face. What? Wait. I wept by the riverside, and I thought that my grandmother's pubic hairs were very long and tough. You know, I miss when we got the fresh Jordan Peterson memes. I miss those days. He's on life support. That's sad. It is. Play it, Zach. The whole thing. I had that part.
We don't give that part enough focus. What do you mean it was a river and a swimming pool? It's a dream. You know what it means, Dan. She was stroking herself absentmindedly. She walked over to me with a handful of pubic hair compacted into something resembling a large artist's paintbrush. Now this is something Timothee Chalamet needs to learn from.
Dressing up in lingerie before your mirror at home. Tucking your dick between your legs. Why the fuck would you share that story of your grandma? That's the type of dream you just bury away, bro. Don't talk about that shit. Don't film yourself talking about that. Absolute liars. My grandmother came to me with a tuft of pubic hair she held like a painter's brush. Yeah, right.
She was absentmindedly masturbating next to a river. I watched her. I watched her fully erect. It's not. Sick puppy. Not beautiful. Fuck you, son of a bitch. He's good, man. I miss Geordi. Oh, so good. Anyway, here's the room. Timothy. Yeah, he just goes, yeah, yeah. This was ill-conceived. You're right. It was just like. Yeah, he just goes, yeah, yeah. Cool. Swear. Yeah. He goes, yeah.
But I'm sure people ate it up. I mean, they needed something more. That's the more right there. It took way too big to zoom out to that. I think it went viral. I'd like to see it on Instagram. I haven't seen this, I gotta say. Do you like it? Now they go back, like, oh, no. No, I don't. Get the Marty Supreme Visa card. Cash App? Cash App? What are we doing now? We're just doing ads now?
So, why is the graphic so basic? Because it's all basic. The man, the movie. The movie was good. It was very good. It was probably the most I liked him. I saw him in a role that was like, oh, he really did that. He plays a Jew in the movie, right? Yes. Why does that matter? Well, McConaughey didn't forget. He needs to keep it in his notes. It's just noted. He has a book. Noted.
Oh, it's muted, Zach.
that's just my belief you know look how pissed he is bro you know you're not in the movie right now right this is like from true from true detective when he's like tweaking out 48 hours slept in days bro what the hell you know you can sleep when when you're not acting right that's that's new and you're doing it at a high level i love that you bring that up because i think that is of the past man like that's just my belief you know um
who the fuck is popular enough to go, hey, you're only going to see me. It's not even popular, it's not even the right word. It's like, you know, and once more, like a Barbie or Oppenheimer, those things were kind of game changing. I feel like they just pull people in in a really engaging way. And I love that you say that, man.
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Chapter 7: What issues arise from the marathon incident?
But yeah, I mean, that was what, like seven or eight second delay? It wouldn't have been close. Yeah, it wouldn't have been close. You're on the wrong street, Kyle. Look how far back this guy is. There he is. And there it is. Their disaster is about to strike. That's like a torpedo on its way. It's like a Mario Kart. You know what? A blue shell. That sucks.
People are saying the woman in front was in his way. She was definitely in front of him. She was definitely in front. The worst part about that was he had to stop. You know that fucks his shit up. Just stopping. Yeah, for sure. His rhythm is completely thrown. Why is the car pulling off? Because it's at the very end of the race.
So I think that car is in the lead the whole time until the final run up to the finish line. That's confusing. They need someone there. What are they doing? It's not right. It's not right. It's not right what they did to him. Here's the police. Everybody's pulling off. Here's the whole motorcade is pulling off. Yeah, they need more people. And then the lady who cut him off.
Actually, she goes the right way. So she's got the Kenyan flag, so I'm wondering if she's a relative of his or a supporter of his that was excited. There's people in the road on the right way. It looks like they're blocking it off. Right, and he just saw all the vehicles.
Chapter 8: What are the financial implications of Mr. Beast's ventures?
Like this fucker. Look at all these fuckers blocking the road. That is not clear enough. That ain't right. The enemy's metal. Redo the whole marathon. Redo it. Shut the city back down. Actually, don't even redo it. Just give it to him. He won. He should get a few seconds. He won. What do you get for winning? What did he lose? There was a cash prize. How much? Let's see. LA Marathon.
No, he fucked up. First place prize. Justice for my boy. Let's pay him the difference, guys. Let's see what it is. Before we commit... Also, what is his name? Sure. Nobody knows now. It's a $6,000 prize. $6,000? And how much is second? That's the LA Marathon. The LA Marathon, $6,000? Well, how much money do you think they have? His name is Michael Kamau. What's second place got?
I mean, if first place is getting only six, second's just got to be like $1,000 or something, right? Or three. Yeah, maybe three. That seems absurdly low. I'm seeing 25,000. What? See, that would make something along those lines. I'm not getting that different. I should have paid attention. Wow. I'm curious, did he travel here or does he live in America? Probably traveled.
Okay, maybe it's a little more complicated. But on that note... 6,000 plus 10,000 if first man or woman to finish. What the fuck does that mean? Then a cat will finish? Yeah. Yeah, what? Okay, Hila. I don't know enough about marathons to understand. Well, listen, the guy's a fucking loser. He wasn't paying attention. Take the L back to Kenya. Stop it. You're right.
The American wins because he had his eye on the road. So the second place was the American? Yeah. No, first place was the American. Yeah, the guy who ended up winning. Who I think technically is second. Yeah, seems like probably should have been second. Yo, you guys want to make fun of Mr. Beast?
make fun of absolutely not that's not what we're talking about mr b oh i thought we were doing mr b one of these sandwiches well anyway i know today to me no it's time to invest yeah we love his new venture so mr beast is now become a monopoly man he's making big money moves that has some people raising eyebrows what is he planning people are wondering well he talked about getting into financial space i tied up an fbi agent in an interview two months ago
As a financial advisor, I feel uniquely positioned to comment on this. Who is this guy? He got like eyelid shit too, I feel like. His eyes look different. Because there's been a lot of news about... Why is it called so silly? The bleph? Is that what it's called? Whose bleph? The eyelid surgery. Oh, the bleph? Oh, yeah. That name is so silly. Does he look blephed out? Doesn't he look blephed?
I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think so. No? I think it's all teeth. I would say he's looking very ginger. Yeah, it's the life. Since when was Mr. Beast ginger? Yeah, what the hell? Look at this image. He's like, this is Irish Mr. Pease. Well, pull an old one. Maybe he's haircut. Look out, Jacksepticeye. Pull an old photo of him. I think it's the light from above.
He might have colored his hair. I think it's the color correction. He looks like a young Chuck Norris. What's with the Arabic on the bottom? I think this John Yochail? Is that it? Maybe he's Arabic? There's been a lot of news about MrBeast Financial. You filed that. I got that. Yeah, so on the MrBeast Financial, people saw the trademark we filed.
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