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Happy Hour with Lucy & Nikki

Advice with the Queens | Relationship Edition

17 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

2.613 - 14.169 Lucy Jackson

A listener production. This is Happy Hour with Lucy and Nikki. And if you're easily offended, then this might not be for you.

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16.832 - 25.684 Nikki Westcott

I can't help it, but the lack of effort and consistency made me totally lose interest. Oh, I thought she was going to say made me hooked.

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28.162 - 33.413

That is so you. I know, babe. Lock me up. I'm psychotic.

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34.81 - 40.116 Nikki Westcott

Cheers, babes. I'm going to happy hour with Lucy and Nikki, the real life shit you only discuss over a drink. But before we start, a little disclaimer.

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40.757 - 54.732

So today we are here for Advice with the Queens. Yes, we are. Dating edition. Dating edition. Oh, well, it's kind of a, yeah, like romance. There's a bit of, because it's not dating. I consider dating to be like before you're in a relo. Yeah, true.

54.853 - 60.138 Nikki Westcott

I want to give a little synopsis of the stories to come. So there is a girl who leaves her marriage.

60.359 - 63.282

The first girl, I'm going to lose sleep over that.

63.262 - 65.138 Nikki Westcott

I'm in turmoil for her.

65.219 - 67.501

Get out of there. You need to listen to this, guys.

Chapter 2: What should I do when my relationship feels stagnant?

102.652 - 112.901

We are releasing video content, extra podcast episodes, the after movie of our live shows. Join us over on Patreon if you want to hear more.

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112.981 - 116.044 Nikki Westcott

Your dog is fucking jerking off on our new run, by the way.

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116.064 - 120.449

Our Billy is sitting next to us having a wank and that is my sign to leave.

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120.469 - 137.548 Nikki Westcott

And it's really throwing me. Let's get into the episode. Ciao, ciao. Billy. Hey chickies, long time punter here. I was only three episodes behind when I started listening and somehow got a ridiculous amount of gardening done in one day despite absolutely hating it. Also, a little creepy DP confession.

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138.169 - 143.339 Nikki Westcott

I wake up anxious most nights and I put on your old eps because they're familiar and they calm me down. I love you girls.

144.021 - 156.08

Oh, babe, you don't know how many people... Take a deep breath, Lucy. I'm like running on. I think I accidentally had one more Dexie than I should have this morning. Do you know what you should do every day, babe?

157.342 - 167.579 Nikki Westcott

Stick your tongue out intentionally for 40 seconds in the morning. Apparently it reduces your cortisol levels by something crazy. Don't ask how, but there's a little life hack for you.

167.74 - 168.14

I know.

168.541 - 174.471 Nikki Westcott

Sorry, we don't have 40 seconds to spare. We've run a heart out for our producer, so better keep moving. No, but I'm back.

Chapter 3: How do I navigate feelings for a friend while in a relationship?

365.628 - 367.15

And I said, tell me more.

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367.17 - 382.71 Nikki Westcott

Well, like, I just remember when you were really upset when you broke up with one of your boyfriends when we were, like, in Airlie Beach for work. Oh, and I made that dude tell me his... And you called it Tales of Misfortune. You did. You're like, I just love other people's Tales of Misfortune.

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382.73 - 385.213

These ideas, and now it's our best miniseries.

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386.014 - 387.215 Lucy Jackson

I was brewing it at 21.

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387.736 - 393.964 Nikki Westcott

Well, like, you manifested that. But, like, you've always been like, that's where I, you know, it could be worse.

394.94 - 407.458

Like in a moment of... It's been sick, really. But do you know something I've actually started doing actively since I've been trying to get a bit of droid of EBAT? I don't let myself listen to it when I'm asleep anymore. And I don't let myself listen to it early in the morning.

408.279 - 408.84 Nikki Westcott

Very good.

409.221 - 420.98

I only let myself listen to it like if I'm like actually like driving somewhere or like something like I... So I'm like, when I'm going to sleep, strictly netties. Yep. When I wake up in the morning, I try not to be on my phone.

421.822 - 436.119

But yeah, because I was listening to... Like all I had in my ear for like fucking days on end was... And then he turned out to be a cheating dog and I was like... I was actually... brainwashing myself into being a man-hater.

Chapter 4: What are the signs that I should move on from a situationship?

578.43 - 579.913 Nikki Westcott

This is so your, like, love language.

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580.433 - 597.163 Nikki Westcott

Not long after I ended my marriage, I told Travis that we'd grown apart and I couldn't see a future together. He wanted counseling, but I refused because I felt like it would only just drag out the heartbreak. Then things got messier. I ended up moving in with the work guy.

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597.924 - 620.519 Nikki Westcott

And he turned out to be a shit. To everyone else, we were just housemates. That's when he made it clear that he didn't want a relationship. No. And he was happy to be housemates and FWB. Friends with benefits. Okay. I wanted more. Holy fuck. Cue two years of back and forth.

621.2 - 637.881 Nikki Westcott

The connection was incredible, but around friends and family, I was treated like a flatmate, not a partner, not even a best friend. I recently bought my own place, but we still work together. They're still flirting, occasional visits, and yes, we still end up naked sometimes. The problem is I just can't stop thinking about him.

638.522 - 659.634 Nikki Westcott

I wanted to end the friends of benefits situation because I know it's keeping me stuck, but I'm terrified that he'll disappear completely. Our friendship means so much to me. I also carry a huge amount of guilt about how I treated my ex-husband. I never told him what happened because I feel like it would only hurt him more. My major fuck up, so my guilt to carry on.

660.215 - 679.624 Nikki Westcott

But the shame still follows me around and shows up as huge anxiety. So girlies, what the hell do I do? How do I stop punishing myself over my marriage? How do I move on from someone who clearly doesn't want the same things as me but keep our special friendship? And do you think he's genuinely damaged from past relationships or is he just not that into me?

680.345 - 700.45 Nikki Westcott

Also, now that I don't live there and when I actually make plans to see other friends, he gets shitty and sends messages that he knows will trigger me and make me mad or feel guilty for having a life. This guy is bad news, sister. Bad news. Bad. So bad, babe. Bad.

Chapter 5: How do I handle dating someone outside of my type?

766.365 - 777.566

Yeah. You do. And like I know that's going to be so, so hard and honestly these kind of things sometimes are the things that make you the most crazy and engaged.

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778.167 - 788.842 Nikki Westcott

Totally because there's no like actual rhyme nor reason. Like he's getting mad at you and like sending you texts when you go and try and have a life. Like, you're like, well, actually, I'd quite like to have a life with you.

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788.862 - 792.353

Yeah, but secretly, you'd be so flattered if you were her. I know. Speaking from experience.

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793.036 - 816.717 Nikki Westcott

Yeah. And you've really just got to take... Like in situations like this where it's confusing and does this mean this? Does he have past trauma? Why is he texting me if I hang out with friends and does he love me? It's like maybe just take their exact actions. Yes. As gospel. Yep. Remove the rest of the guesswork and maybe then things will be a bit more clear to you.

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816.697 - 822.247

And like, honestly, something that you've got to do in this lifetime is, especially after two years of this.

822.407 - 823.609 Nikki Westcott

Oh, dude, that's crazy.

823.729 - 853.542

Like, this is why sometimes I have less fear around putting myself out there if I'm interested in someone. Because I think... if you are going to get rejected by someone, you're better off knowing straight away than wasting time. And like I've had many a situation where I've looked back in hindsight and been like, I should have just ripped the band-aid off so much earlier than I did.

853.562 - 868.3

Because then what you do in this other kind of limbo that you're in is you're not opening yourself up to anyone else, A. B, you're probably going batshit crazy. You're probably being like a fucking weird version of yourself.

868.42 - 890.349

Like your friends are probably like, she's fucking lost the plot because you're like in love with someone who's treating you like, you know, a booty call at the end of the night. And then you are just... You know, if you've already been married and stuff too, babe, it doesn't sound like you're that young. Like, go and enjoy this time. Don't be caught up on the wrong person.

Chapter 6: What should I consider before getting back with an ex?

1131.463 - 1144.684

Like otherwise, fucking how convenient for him. Yeah, there's this bird that'll shag me whenever I want and I still don't have to make anything of it. He'll keep you around forever, babe. Big time, babe. But an easy option really for him. Somewhere.

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1144.704 - 1150.133 Nikki Westcott

I actually know that was about sex workers actually, so irrelevant.

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1150.687 - 1152.41

I read somewhere and no weather.

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1152.43 - 1159.903 Nikki Westcott

Yeah, it was like the things that you should pay for are flights, fucks and something else. I can't remember. Anyway.

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1159.923 - 1168.438

Tell you what, after some of the episodes we've been recording lately, I might start paying for a little shag every now and then because it sounds like quite the lovely experience. To be honest, sign me up.

1168.458 - 1170.742 Nikki Westcott

One booking for the girlfriend experience, boyfriend experience, please.

1170.762 - 1189.394

Literally. One boyfriend experience, please. Okay, Jim's words of wisdom. Hey chicks, long time punter from the UK here. J'adore the potty so I felt it was only time to get involved. So a few months ago, me and my boyfriend of two years broke up because he wasn't happy being away from his family. I live in the south and he's originally from the north about five hours drive away.

1190.115 - 1209.318

We both tried living in each other's hometowns for a bit, but I miss my family too much and vice versa for him when he moved in with me. Oh, so this is like an actual... Britain, UK, local, not even an Aussie expat. Oh, wow. Thank you for being here. Yeah. Spread the word across the town.

1209.358 - 1228.618

For a bit of extra context, I'm 32 and saw this guy as my future husband and we talked about getting married, having kids, et cetera. So you can imagine I was pretty devo to part ways. But we're both big family people and neither of us were willing to be away from our perspective or respective family. So we can't see how it's going to work in the long run.

Chapter 7: How can I balance relationships with personal growth?

1417.4 - 1420.765 Nikki Westcott

Because you don't even know if you're going to even explore it or if it's even worth saying.

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1421.086 - 1448.871

I do. I reckon where she's at though, Nick, which I've also been in this headspace at different chapters of my life, when you're a real relationship girl, you do sometimes find it hard to... If you think there's no end goal, say, for example, someone's really young or someone's a known fuckboy or someone's this or someone's that, you do find it hard to enter the chat, as they say.

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1449.172 - 1469.634

because you're like, oh, well, it's not going to go anywhere anyway. Yeah. But sometimes after being single for ages, like I have, you do realize that sometimes not everything has to be something long term. Yeah. And sometimes 24-year-olds are just as grown up and normal as 35-year-olds.

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1469.734 - 1470.235 Nikki Westcott

Yeah.

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1470.721 - 1478.993

I was seeing a boy almost 10 years younger than me and actually he dumped me for partying too much. So who was the old person there? I know, right?

1479.193 - 1481.256 Nikki Westcott

He was pretty emotionally mature.

1481.296 - 1496.838

Too emotionally mature. I was like, go home, have a drink and relax, my guy. But that's what I mean. Like age is just a number, but I don't even think that's the issue in this situation with you. I think you're putting way too much pressure on like a long-term outcome when it could just be a bit of fun.

1496.978 - 1498.64 Nikki Westcott

You haven't even like crossed that bridge yet.

1499.281 - 1517.814

What's that line? From the sweetest thing and they say, stop looking for Mr. Right. Look for Mr. Right now. Look for Mr. Right now. And maybe the now might just drop away, but if not, in the meantime, you've got a fun person for now. Fucking put that on a t-shirt.

Chapter 8: What advice can I follow to avoid common dating pitfalls?

1760.961 - 1766.307 Nikki Westcott

Like you're not going to get in a relationship right before you go away for four months. That's longer than the time that you've already spent with him.

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1766.557 - 1774.632

Yeah, I also just don't think you need to put a label on it too. Like, you're coming back. Like, if you weren't coming back, then whatever. But, like, you're actually coming back.

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1774.672 - 1778.6 Nikki Westcott

So... She said, how should I bring up this combo?

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1778.64 - 1788.931

I would just be like, oh, hey, so... Don't know if you know of my plans, but I'm actually intending on going to Croatia for four months.

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1790.014 - 1806.135 Nikki Westcott

Well, I think he knows. Let's say he knows. I would just keep talking about how excited you are for it and stuff, but then be like, oh, fuck, I'm going to miss you so much though. Beautiful, right? Honestly, that's simple brilliance. And I'll miss you because you're a good cunt. But I am going.

1806.636 - 1813.104

And be like, when you're still over there, if you're thinking about him, just send him some fucking sexy bikini thirst traps. That's hot.

1813.485 - 1819.653 Nikki Westcott

Hot. Honestly, distance makes the heart grow fonder. It does. But I think that's also the thing. She doesn't want to spend her whole time on the blower to him.

1820.413 - 1827.883

Yeah, but like you don't have to. You can enjoy chatting to someone without it consuming you. That is a skill.

1828.268 - 1849.095

people that needs to be mastered because we've been on trips with friends to foreign countries and fuck me, man, our friend that came on this trip, I feel like she was barely there because she was on the phone to her boyfriend the whole time and something I felt... More digging we've done though. But still...

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