How to Break Sexual Shame & Reclaim Your Desire with Sex with Emily | EP 85
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What is sexual shame and how does cultural conditioning affect it?
Everything's great and we're married but we don't have great sex. The sex is not a but. Sex is not an afterthought. Sex is wellness and your pleasure is important and you have to prioritize it from the jump.
I don't think enough people talk about the power of sex as a somatic practice.
I think that sex can be so healing for so many people. There is so much release that can happen when you feel safe because You actually can't fully access pleasure if you're living in an activated trauma state. There's so much judgment around women standing up for their own pleasure. And it's because we'd have to undo decades of cultural conditioning that tells women it's not okay. paid to be sexual, that their sexuality is something to be shamed of, to be hidden. Sex is messy. If we can take our tears or our so-called mess and celebrate that as like, wow, this is like true sexual expression, that's another way to really reverse the shame and turn it into pleasure.
Another big question that I know people have, everything's great in terms of the relationship, but they're not sexually attracted to them. Can you build that chemistry or does that mean that you're not compatible? Yeah. Wow. This is a conundrum. I mean, what if sex wasn't just something that we do, but it's a vital part of our healing and wellness? In today's episode, we're diving into sex, pleasure, and embodiment. We'll specifically explore how to shift from performative sex to empowered connected pleasure, how to navigate desire in long-term relationships, and why so many couples struggle to really openly talk about what it is they want.
Who is Dr. Emily Morse and what is Sexual Intelligence?
Our guest today is the incredible Dr. Emily Morris, a sex therapist, author, and host of the number one sexuality podcast, Sex with Emily. She's known for breaking taboos with heart, humor, and clarity, and she's here to help us bring more confidence, curiosity, and compassion into our sex lives. This is a fun one. Hey, Lily. I'm so happy that you're here. I'm so excited to be here. Oh, my goodness. I just want to start off by acknowledging you because you talk about sex so boldly and transparently and authentically online. I think it's so important. And I'm curious about why you think female pleasure is misunderstood. There's so much shame about it, especially with women watching porn. or using vibrators. Can you talk to us about all of this? Yes.
It's such a good question because if you think about it, there's so much judgment around women standing up for their own pleasure. Like women want to watch porn or buy a vibrator or even talk about sex. We have immediate judgment. And it's because of all this, like we'd have to undo like... decades of cultural conditioning that tells women it's not okay to be sexual, that their sexuality is something to be shamed of, to be hidden, to be for somebody else's pleasure, and to be sort of a side thought or an afterthought. And so it's really comes back to like religion and society and not having a lot of information. I really think that's, that's what it's all about. It's about the cultural conditioning and judgments around women being sexual. I think that's, that's really, that's really what it is.
It's a lot of shame. Yeah. And I feel like the more we talk about it, the less we have that shame.
Yeah, exactly.
That's why I keep showing up.
I think the more we talk about people like I was speaking this week somewhere and people said, how did you get so comfortable? I was like, I did not come out of the womb being like, did you know the clitoris has 12,000 nerve endings? You know, it's like I didn't grow up in an environment where I was comfortable talking about sex. But I think one of the magics and why I'll keep coming back, you know, my 20th year is because it is the kind of thing when you hang out with sex positive people or you listen to sex positive voices, whether you listen to sex with Emily or you. look at things online or read books, the more you talk about it, you realize like, oh yeah, it really just is wellness. Like sex is wellness.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is sexual shame and how does cultural conditioning affect it?
0:00–1:32
2
Who is Dr. Emily Morse and what is Sexual Intelligence?
1:32–6:08
3
What are the Five Pillars of Sexual Intelligence?
6:08–9:40
4
How can sex be used as a somatic healing practice?
9:40–13:24
5
Why do people sometimes cry after sex and what does it mean?
13:24–15:22
6
How can couples reignite chemistry despite busy lives and desire dips?
15:22–20:48
7
What role does foreplay play in building sexual connection?
20:48–23:22
8
Why can't some people orgasm with their partners and how to overcome it?
23:22–59:40
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from Healing + Human Potential
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