Here Be Monsters

HBM072: Ant God

01 Feb 2017

Contributed by Lukas

As far as gods go, Jacob Lemanski is more tepid than most.  Despite his omniscience, he feels unequipped to deal with the ethical decisions requi...

HBM071: The Evangelists of Nudism

18 Jan 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Growing up Mormon in Montana, Bethany Denton had a phrase drilled into her mind from an early age: “modest is hottest.”  To her, it became a ...

wet-slop-plop.wav (Among Other Sounds)

04 Jan 2017

Contributed by Lukas

There are about 10,000 files in the Here Be Monsters sound library.   HBM producer Jeff Emtman has been recording, synthesizing and downloading t...

HBM070: The Way The Blood Flows

21 Dec 2016

Contributed by Lukas

“I used to think you were brilliant” Evan Williamson’s dad wrote to him in a letter.  Evan was in treatment for chemical dependency at the ...

HBM069: Redwoods of the In-World

07 Dec 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Ariadne, Jacqueline, North, and others unnamed are all part of the same system.  They share a single body.  They take turns “fronting” t...

HBM068: The Wake Up Stick

23 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

When Dylan Wright placed his first Craigslist ad back in 2006, he called himself a “nice and genuine person with waking up problems.”  He was...

HBM067: Dispatches From PestWorld 2016

09 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Feeling anxiety about the American presidential election, HBM host Jeff Emtman took a trip to a place he hoped to be insulated from politics: PestWorl...

HBM066: What Jacob Heard

26 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Jacob Sutton loved going to church when he was a little boy. He sang in the choir, and when he got older he led Bible studies and helped teach Sunday ...

HBM065: We Pay Them In Meat

12 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Walk through any natural history museum and you’ll see rows of effortlessly clean animal skeletons.  Chances are you're looking at a strange fo...

HBM064: A Shrinking Shadow

28 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Erin was fat as a kid. Since middle school, she tried all different methods to lose weight. From a young age she developed the idea that the most impo...

HBM063: The Art of the Scam, by Malibu Ron

14 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Presumably, any given mystic falls into one of two categories: true believer or scam artist. It's foolish to think that this is a categorization ...

HBM062: The Near Death of Sir Deja Doog

31 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Before Doog could walk, his family gave him a guitar to hold and encouraged him to play music. By the time he was twelve, he'd started writing so...

HBM061: The Natural State of Hitchhiking

17 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Season 5 Soon!

25 Jul 2016

Contributed by Lukas

HBM060: The Predators of McNeil Island

20 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Your Last Memory Of Being Free

13 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

HBM059: When Cthulhu Calls

23 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The most notable monster created by Howard Phillips Lovecraft was completely omnipotent, yet completely uncaring.  A massive, tentacled being tha...

HBM058: Kelly Is Cold

02 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

It was early in the morning of New Years Day and Kelly had just bought a purse-load of psychedelic mushrooms from Laramie Wyoming's local "druggist." ...

HBM057: Impostor in a Pink Pinstripe Suit

17 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Growing up in small-town Montana, Bethany Denton's parents and teachers told her what she knew already: she was brilliant.  Bethany couldn't help...

HBM056: It Works Better in Movies

03 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

When Lina Misitzis was a teenager, she told people she was dying.  She wasn't.  But, an entire genre of "dying girl gets the guy" movies&nbs...

HBM055: Ghost Tape Number Ten

21 Jan 2016

Contributed by Lukas

All is fair in love and war... even mind games. The United States military employs psychological warfare in nearly every war it's part of. From creati...

HBM054: Flaming Sword of Truth

06 Jan 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Patti Negri is a witch who lives in a house buried deep in the Hollywood Hills.  Here Be Monsters producer Jeff Emtman and performance artist Len...

HBM053: Eleven Trips to Dreamworld

23 Dec 2015

Contributed by Lukas

In 2014, Jeff Emtman mailed tape recorders to people around the world.  He asked them to keep the recorders by their beds and flip them on early ...

HBM052: Call 601-2-SATAN-2

09 Dec 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Christian prayer hotlines are common in the United States. Less common are prayer hotlines for the other guy.  Since 2012, the Satanic Missionary...

HBM051: Sister Bethany, Proxy for the Dead

25 Nov 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Bethany Denton was about five years old when she learned that she was a Mormon. When she was eight, she learned that she was an eternal spirit destine...

HBM050: The Scientist is not the Angel of Death

11 Nov 2015

Contributed by Lukas

What's a life worth? About $25, before shipping.  At least, that's the case if you want a high-quality inbred lab mouse, like the C57BL/6J (...

HBM049: Sam's Japan Tapes

28 Oct 2015

Contributed by Lukas

When Sam Parker went to Japan to celebrate his mother's 60th birthday, he brought along a handheld audio recorder.  For the next few weeks, he re...

HBM048: Barrie's Mental Tempest

14 Oct 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Barrie Wylie has heard voices for as long as he can remember. Growing up on a small island in Scotland, the voices in his head were like secret best f...

HBM047: Peacocks Without Tails

30 Sep 2015

Contributed by Lukas

When Hippocrates noticed that the hair on the top of his head was falling out, he fought it by applying various ointments of opium to his scalp. &nbsp...

HBM046: Crooked Skirts

16 Sep 2015

Contributed by Lukas

HBM045: Deep Stealth Mode (How To Be A Girl)

02 Sep 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Marlo Mack gave birth to a son.  At least, she thought she did.  As a toddler, her son crawled towards dresses, wanted to be a princess, ask...

HBM044: Distant Warfare

19 Aug 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Bridget Burnquist was backpacking around Southeast Asia. After weeks of drinking cheap liquor on beautiful beaches, she was beginning to feel as thoug...

Lying in a Stranger's Grave

05 Aug 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Carlos Gemora loved the feeling of the dirt at the cemetary where he used to dig graves.  One day he climbed down into the loamy, silty soil and ...

HBM043: Last Chance To Evacuate Earth

22 Jul 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Marshall Applewhite met Bonnie Nettles in 1972, and together they built a religion. It was called Heaven's Gate, and it drew heavily from the bible, a...

HBM042: Deers

08 Jul 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Andy Wilson and Ryan Graves are best friends, despite having very different opinions on the hierarchy of human and animal life. The two come face-to-f...

HBM041: Crossing the River, Feeling Watched

25 Jun 2015

Contributed by Lukas

In his junior year of high school, HBM host Jeff Emtman left his home and everything he knew to live and study in a tiny village nestled in the Cascad...

We've joined forces with KCRW!

19 Jun 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Fear of Silence

20 May 2015

Contributed by Lukas

HBM producers Jeff and Bethany are having more and more trouble bearing silence.On this episode, Jeff calls back crow researcher Kaeli Swift and asks ...

Forty Monster Bites

31 Dec 2014

Contributed by Lukas

Here's a little gift for you.  It's clips of every episode of Here Be Monsters.  You can use this page as a hub to your discovery of HBM.&nb...

HBM040: The Reformation Bible Puritan Baptist Church

29 Oct 2014

Contributed by Lukas

Eric Jon Phelps knows a lot of things.  He knows that the Pope controls the world.  He knows that it was the Jesuits who poisoned him in Tam...

HBM039: A Goddamn Missionary

01 Oct 2014

Contributed by Lukas

HBM038: Do Crows Mourn Their Dead?

10 Sep 2014

Contributed by Lukas

Crows have really strange habits around death. When a bird dies, crows gather, squawking loudly and gathering as many other birds as they can find to ...

Potential Energy (Live)

13 Aug 2014

Contributed by Lukas

HBM037: Uncertain Death

30 Jul 2014

Contributed by Lukas

Recent episodes of Here Be Monsters have been largely about death.  So, on this episode David Alvarado and Jason Sussberg teach us about the exac...

HBM036: Throw It In The Ocean

10 Jul 2014

Contributed by Lukas

Eric Chase's memory of April 19th, 1989 is largely a blur. On that day, he was aboard the USS Iowa, a World War 2 era battleship, equipped with some o...

HBM035: Spirits of the Past

26 Jun 2014

Contributed by Lukas

It was a group of businessmen in the late 19th century who originally invented the Ouija Board. They sold them in toy shops and promising questions an...

HBM034: The Grandmother and The Vine Of The Dead

04 Jun 2014

Contributed by Lukas

Ayahuasca is one of the most powerful and most illegal hallucinogens in the world. It contains DMT. But, for as long as anyone can remember, it's been...

HBM033: What One Does

21 May 2014

Contributed by Lukas

HBM032: Fugitives of the Blue Laguna

07 May 2014

Contributed by Lukas

Back when David was a nerdy Oklahoman teenager, he fell in love with Stephanie. They both had angst towards their overbearing, conservative parents an...

HBM031: The Roman Slug Death Orgy

23 Apr 2014

Contributed by Lukas

In a strange, small, moss-covered forest in Bellingham, Washington, Jeff stumbled on to the most gruesome scene of hedonism he's ever seen.While it's ...

Season 3 Coming Soon

18 Jan 2014

Contributed by Lukas

HBM030: Crickets, Cadavars, and Conventional Wisdom

27 Nov 2013

Contributed by Lukas

This episode is a Grab-bag, it contains three segments that serve as follow-ups to the three most recent episodes of Here Be Monsters.Part 1: Crickets...

HBM029: Do Crickets Sing Hymns?

17 Nov 2013

Contributed by Lukas

A bit of stunningly beautiful audio has surfaced online recently and it's riling up two different kinds of people--churchgoers and audio engineers. So...

HBM028: Jonathan's Cadaver Paintings

31 Oct 2013

Contributed by Lukas

Jonathan Happ’s white lab coat and latex gloves make him look like a doctor when he stands in a room full of people. But he’s not a doctor…he’...

HBM027: Balancing Act

17 Oct 2013

Contributed by Lukas

For thousands of years, Western Medicine thought it had itself figured out. Everything came in fours. There were four sensations, four fluids in the b...

HBM026: John Comes Down The Birth Canal

03 Oct 2013

Contributed by Lukas

It was 40-odd years before John Hanneman figured out what the night terrors of his youth represented. In this episode, John describes the first trauma...

HBM025: The Sasquatch of Pumpkintown VS Motley Crue Jon Bon Jovi

18 Sep 2013

Contributed by Lukas

Homemade Bigfoot costumes can get you in a lot of trouble. And in gun-toting community of Pumpkintown, SC, a fake Bigfoot costume might get you killed...

HBM024: The Friendliest Town In Texas

05 Sep 2013

Contributed by Lukas

Shoppingspree Clark showed up on the side of the road outside the “Friendliest Town in Texas” with nothing more than a sketchpad and the burnt-out...

HBM023: The Near Destruction of Rey Jaguar [Extended Cut]

21 Aug 2013

Contributed by Lukas

For lucha libre wrestlers, masks are everything. They wear them in the ring, they wear them to the grocery store, they wear them any time they appear ...

HBM022: The Holy Ghost Fixes David's Brain

07 Aug 2013

Contributed by Lukas

David Blackshire Key has been called a douchebag more times than he can count. It's probably because he used to wear big sunglasses--day and night, in...

HBM021: Potential Energy

24 Jul 2013

Contributed by Lukas

Season 2 of Here Be Monsters begins.The reasons why I bike at night are diverse. It’s partly because I don’t feel graceful anywhere else, it’s p...

HBM020: Without Name

06 Mar 2013

Contributed by Lukas

HBM019: The Other One Percent

14 Feb 2013

Contributed by Lukas

HBM018: How I Learned to Love Rejection (part 2)

03 Feb 2013

Contributed by Lukas

HBM017: How I Learned to Love Rejection (part 1)

23 Jan 2013

Contributed by Lukas

HBM016: 10,000 Juggalos

13 Dec 2012

Contributed by Lukas

People Watching Magazine -- Available Now!

08 Dec 2012

Contributed by Lukas

HBM015: Jacob Visits Saturn

29 Nov 2012

Contributed by Lukas

HBM014: Andrea Quits NPR

22 Nov 2012

Contributed by Lukas

The Operating System of Dictators

15 Nov 2012

Contributed by Lukas

HBM013: Bridget Finds Loss

08 Nov 2012

Contributed by Lukas

HBM012: How to Live and Die Until You're 80

31 Oct 2012

Contributed by Lukas

HBM011: Puke Quits Trainriding

25 Oct 2012

Contributed by Lukas

The Golden Age of Piracy

22 Oct 2012

Contributed by Lukas

HBM010: The Time Travelers Convention

18 Oct 2012

Contributed by Lukas

CONTEST: What the $&@# is that Bug?

14 Oct 2012

Contributed by Lukas

HBM009: Captain Staudinger Flees Myanmar

11 Oct 2012

Contributed by Lukas

HBM008: Chuck Gets Circumcised

03 Oct 2012

Contributed by Lukas

HBM007: Placentophagy

26 Sep 2012

Contributed by Lukas

HBM006: Clever Hans

19 Sep 2012

Contributed by Lukas

HBM005: The Team Says "Hello"

12 Sep 2012

Contributed by Lukas

HBM003: John Dips Below

29 Aug 2012

Contributed by Lukas

HBM002: Of Maps and Monsters

27 Aug 2012

Contributed by Lukas

HBM001: Prisoner's Cinema

22 Aug 2012

Contributed by Lukas

HBM000: Hello There

01 Jan 2012

Contributed by Lukas

Here Be Monsters is a podcast about strange and unusual and beautiful and sometimes dark things.Jeff Emtman started Here Be Monsters in 2012.Here are ...