With the holidays fast approaching, many of us are hunting for that special something for the special someones in our lives. It’s how we show we care about them. So why is it so hard to find the right gift? This week, we revisit a favorite 2022 conversation with researcher Jeff Galak. We'll discuss why the presents we give for holidays and birthdays often miss their mark, and how to become a better gift-giver. Looking for a holiday gift for a fellow Hidden Brain fan? You can now give a gift subscription to Hidden Brain+! Or if material gifts are more your style, go to shop.hiddenbrain.org to find Hidden Brain t-shirts, mugs, stickers and more.
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This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedantam. In The Gift of the Magi, a short story written by O. Henry and published in 1905, a young husband and wife each struggle privately with a dilemma. Christmas is coming, and neither has enough money to buy the other a gift. Della has only $1.87 saved up. Jim has almost nothing. You probably know how the story turns out.
Della sells her beautiful long hair in order to buy Jim a fine chain for his watch, the most valuable thing he owns. Meanwhile, Jim sells his watch to pay for a set of expensive combs for Della's hair. Each gift negates the other. At the end of the story, O. Henry writes, the Magi, as you know, were wise men, wonderfully wise men, who brought gifts to the babe in the manger.
They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their gifts were no doubt wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case of duplication. And here I have lamely related to you the uneventful chronicle of two foolish children in a flat who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures of their house.
But in a last word to the wise of these days, let it be said that of all who give gifts, these two were the wisest. Of all who give and receive gifts, such as they are the wisest. Everywhere they are wisest. They are the magi. In other words, it's the thought that counts. That's a sweet idea, but is it true? Today on the show, modern psychology takes on an ancient problem.
Gifts and gift-giving are as old as humanity itself. Over the centuries, humans have used gifts to express love, offer admiration, and obtain favors. New research identifies why the presents we offer for birthdays and holidays often miss their mark. How to Become a Better Gift Giver, this week on Hidden Brain.
All of us know what it's like to get a great gift, the kind we receive with pleasure and that we remember for a long, long time afterwards. All of us also remember, well, the other kind of gift, the board game that doesn't interest us, the dashed-off last-minute bauble, the inappropriate item of clothing.
At Carnegie Mellon University, Jeff Gallach has spent a lot of time thinking about gifts and gift-giving. He has learned a lot about bad gifts. Jeff Gallach, welcome to Hidden Brain. Thank you for having me. Jeff, I understand that growing up as an American with Jewish-Ukrainian roots, your family put on a big celebration on New Year's Day every year.
Can you tell me what that gathering was like when you were a small child?
So we had this tradition where our immediate family, as well as some close friends, would all gather. And there was a tradition of exchanging gifts. These were typically not your major Christmas-sized gifts, but something minimal that would just kind of fulfill the needs that people have for this kind of gift-giving exchange. That was basically the nature of it.
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