10 Invisible Red Flags that Get You Rejected: Which Mistakes Are YOU Making? Plus 10 Fast Fixes
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What are the invisible red flags in dating?
Get out of your planned mind. Get in the present moment with her. Get present with her. Give her a present. Give her your presence. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I'm your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett. I'm here to help you learn to flirt, gain self-confidence, get a great girlfriend, and do this by being authentic, radically authentic, not using any weird, toxic, sketchy pickup artist moves. This is about showing women your most confident, best, authentic self, because that's what women want. And today, I'm going to help you fix some dating problems that are holding you back I'm going to help you get rid of red flags. Red flags that push women away. Dating red flags that you might not know you're sending that make a woman friendzone you, or that make a woman ghost you, or that make a woman just say, hey, you seem great, but let's just be friends, or I'm just not ready to date right now. We're going to go through 10 of the most common dreaded
dating life harming flags, these red flags. And in the next episode, I'm going to give you 10 green flags that are going to help you make some sparks happen. So what is a dating red flag? Well, a red flag is any behavior or trait that makes a woman think, I'm not going to date this guy. It's something that's really hurting your chances of romance with women. And you don't even realize you're making these mistakes. And these red flags are not things that, it's not that you're a bad guy. It's not that you're not ready for love. I don't mean you're not emotionally available. I mean red flags that signal low confidence, that signal awkwardness, or that signal an inability to connect with women romantically, emotionally, the way they want to.
So what you need to do is make sure you get rid of these red flags and Here's a quick story from my dating past. I remember a first date I had with a wonderful woman named Lorraine. She became my girlfriend, by the way. Lorraine and I met up at a bar. It's our first date. And I'm sitting up at the bar, and I'm reading the latest Harry Potter book. And she walks in. We meet, make some small talk. The date starts. And a few minutes into the date, she says, by the way, I like that you're not trying to impress me. And I said, what do you mean? She said, well, you're reading Harry Potter. I hate it when guys try to come off as something they're not.
Expelliarmus! Harry, what did you just do?
So basically she was saying she liked that I was leaning into my nerdy love of Harry Potter as opposed to sitting there with a book by Tolstoy or Dostoevsky or something and trying to impress her. Later in the date, she tested me actually about something. We were talking about our favorite SNL shows and cast members. And she said, what do you think of Will Ferrell? Do you think he's overrated? Do you think Will Ferrell is just not that funny? And I said, no, I think Will Ferrell is fantastic. He's a comedy genius. He's great.
How can you eliminate red flags while dating?
I don't know how to put this, but I'm kind of a big deal. People know me. I'm very important. I have... many leather-bound books, and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.
And she said, yeah, yeah, me too. I love him. And she was basically testing me. She was trying to find out if I was going to say the thing that I thought she wanted me to say. Instead of really leaning into who I am and what I feel and what I believe and letting those chips fall. That really attracted her. We made out. She kissed me first. She basically jumped into my arms at the end of the date.
Why is authenticity important in dating?
We had a really great first date make out. And about a month or so later, she was my girlfriend. And essentially, at that point, I had been working enough on my dating life where I was able to eliminate most of these red flags. So if you can eliminate these red flags, you're going to make it so much easier to connect with a woman and get a great girlfriend. Lorraine also said something to me once that I want to share with you. She said, you know what? Guys think they need to score points with women on dates. You don't need to score points with us. You actually start off with a lot of points. You just have to not lose points and you'll be in a good place.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What are the invisible red flags in dating?
0:00–3:25
2
How can you eliminate red flags while dating?
3:25–4:06
3
Why is authenticity important in dating?
4:06–16:33
4
What are the consequences of being insecure or needy?
16:33–24:43
5
How to avoid long, awkward pauses in conversations?
24:43–30:39
6
What are the dangers of lying or exaggerating on dates?
30:39–37:10
7
Why should you avoid canned pickup lines?
37:10–41:46
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
7 Texting Mistakes that Make Women Flake Before the First Date (and 7 Easy Fixes)
8 Flirty Things to Say (and Not to Say) When You Freeze Up Around Women
The 10 Most Surprisingly Sexy Things to Say on a First Date
The 7 Lies that Keep You From Approaching—and 7 Tips to Confidently Talk to Women Anywhere
The 10 Texting Commandments: How to Stop Getting Ghosted and Start Getting Dates
21 Flirty Ways to Make Her Feel Authentic Attraction (How to Escape the Friend Zone, Part 2)